INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20523,56,'\nFay: The British police force used to be run by men of integrity.\nTruscott: That is a mistake which has been rectified.\n\t\t-- Joe Orton, \"Loot\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20524,56,'\nFear and loathing, my man, fear and loathing.\n\t\t-- H.S. Thompson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20525,56,'\nFirst rule of public speaking.\n\tFirst, tell \'em what you\'re goin\' to tell \'em;\n\tthen tell \'em;\n\tthen tell \'em what you\'ve tole \'em.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20526,56,'\nFor the first time we have a weapon that nobody has used for thirty years.\nThis gives me great hope for the human race.\n\t\t-- Harlan Ellison\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20527,56,'\nForgive him, for he believes that the customs of his tribe are the laws\nof nature!\n\t\t-- G.B. Shaw\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20528,56,'\nFraud is the homage that force pays to reason.\n\t\t-- Charles Curtis, \"A Commonplace Book\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20529,56,'\nFree Speech Is The Right To Shout \'Theater\' In A Crowded Fire.\n\t\t-- A Yippie Proverb\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20530,56,'\nFreedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20531,56,'\nFreedom is nothing else but the chance to do better.\n\t\t-- Camus\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20532,56,'\nFreedom is slavery.\nIgnorance is strength.\nWar is peace.\n\t\t-- George Orwell\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20533,56,'\nFreedom of the press is for those who happen to own one.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20534,56,'\nFreedom\'s just another word for nothing left to lose.\n\t\t-- Kris Kristofferson, \"Me and Bobby McGee\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20535,56,'\n\"... gentlemen do not read each other\'s mail.\"\n\t\t-- Secretary of State Henry Stimson, on closing down\n\t\t   the Black Chamber, the precursor to the National\n\t\t   Security Agency.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20536,56,'\nGentlemen,\n\tWhilst marching from Portugal to a position which commands the\napproach to Madrid and the French forces, my officers have been\ndiligently complying with your requests which have been sent by H.M. ship\nfrom London to Lisbon and thence by dispatch to our headquarters.\n\tWe have enumerated our saddles, bridles, tents and tent poles,\nand all manner of sundry items for which His Majesty\'s Government holds\nme accountable. I have dispatched reports on the character, wit, and\nspleen of every officer. Each item and every farthing has been accounted\nfor, with two regrettable exceptions for which I beg your indulgence.\n\tUnfortunately the sum of one shilling and ninepence remains\nunaccounted for in one infantry battalion\'s petty cash and there has been\na hideous confusion as the the number of jars of raspberry jam issued to\none cavalry regiment during a sandstorm in western Spain.  This\nreprehensible carelessness may be related to the pressure of circumstance,\nsince we are war with France, a fact which may come as a bit of a surprise\nto you gentlemen in Whitehall.\n\tThis brings me to my present purpose, which is to request\nelucidation of my instructions from His Majesty\'s Government so that I\nmay better understand why I am dragging an army over these barren plains.\nI construe that perforce it must be one of two alternative duties, as\ngiven below.  I shall pursue either one with the best of my ability, but\nI cannot do both:\n\t1. To train an army of uniformed British clerks in Spain for the\nbenefit of the accountants and copy-boys in London or perchance:\n\t2. To see to it that the forces of Napoleon are driven out of Spain.\n\t\t-- Duke of Wellington, to the British Foreign Office,\n\t\t   London, 1812\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20537,56,'\nGeorge Orwell 1984.  Northwestern 0.\n\t\t-- Chicago Reader 10/15/82\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20538,56,'\nGeorge Orwell was an optimist.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20539,56,'\nGeorge Washington was first in war, first in peace -- and the first to\nhave his birthday juggled to make a long weekend.\n\t\t-- Ashley Cooper\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20540,56,'\nGive all orders verbally.  Never write anything down that might go into a\n\"Pearl Harbor File\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20541,56,'\n\"Give me enough medals, and I\'ll win any war.\"\n\t\t-- Napoleon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20542,56,'\nGiving money and power to governments is like giving whiskey and\ncar keys to teenage boys.\n\t-- P.J. O\'Rourke\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20543,56,'\nGod shows his contempt for wealth by the kind of person he selects to\nreceive it.\n\t\t-- Austin O\'Malley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20544,56,'\nGood government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of\nthose who govern.  The machinery of government is always subordinate to the\nwill of those who administer that machinery.  The most important element of\ngovernment, therefore, is the method of choosing leaders.\n\t\t-- Frank Herbert, \"Children of Dune\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20545,56,'\nGood leaders being scarce, following yourself is allowed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20546,56,'\nGot a complaint about the Internal Revenue Service?  \nCall the convenient toll-free \"IRS Taxpayer Complaint Hot Line Number\":\n\n\t1-800-AUDITME\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20547,56,'\nGovern a great nation as you would cook a small fish.  Don\'t overdo it.\n\t\t-- Lao Tsu\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20548,56,'\nGovernment [is] an illusion the governed should not encourage.\n\t\t-- John Updike, \"Couples\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20549,56,'\nGovernment lies, and newspapers lie, but in a democracy they are different lies.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20550,56,'\nGovernment spending?  I don\'t know what it\'s all about.  I don\'t know\nany more about this thing than an economist does, and, God knows, he\ndoesn\'t know much.\n\t\t-- Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20551,56,'\n\tGraduating seniors, parents and friends...\n\tLet me begin by reassuring you that my remarks today will stand up\nto the most stringent requirements of the new appropriateness.\n\tThe intra-college sensitivity advisory committee has vetted the\ntext of even trace amounts of subconscious racism, sexism and classism.\n\tMoreover, a faculty panel of deconstructionists have reconfigured\nthe rhetorical components within a post-structuralist framework, so as to\nexpunge any offensive elements of western rationalism and linear logic.\n\tFinally, all references flowing from a white, male, eurocentric\nperspective have been eliminated, as have any other ruminations deemed\ndenigrating to the political consensus of the moment.\n\n\tThank you and good luck.\n\t\t-- Doonesbury, the University Chancellor\'s graduation speech.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20552,56,'\nGreat Moments in History: #3\n\nAugust 27, 1949:\n\tA Hall of Fame opened to honor outstanding members of the\n\tWomen\'s Air Corp.  It was a WAC\'s Museum.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20553,56,'\n\tGrover Cleveland, though constantly at loggerheads with the\nSenate, got on better with the House of Representatives.  A popular\nstory circulating during his presidency concerned the night he was\nroused by his wife crying, \"Wake up!  I think there are burglars in the\nhouse.\"\n\t\"No, no, my dear,\" said the president sleepily, \"in the Senate maybe,\nbut not in the House.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20554,56,'\nGrub first, then ethics.\n\t\t-- Bertolt Brecht\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20555,56,'\nHark ye, Clinker, you are a most notorious offender.  You stand convicted of\nsickness, hunger, wretchedness, and want.\n\t\t-- Tobias Smollet\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20556,56,'\nHas the great art and mystery of politics no apparent utility? Does it\nappear to be unqualifiedly ratty, raffish, sordid, obscene and low down,\nand its salient virtuosi a gang of umitigated scoundrels?  Then let us\nnot forget its high capacity to soothe and tickel the midriff, its\nincomparable services as a maker of entertainment.\n\t\t-- H.L. Mencken, \"A Carnival of Buncombe\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20557,56,'\nHave you noticed the way people\'s intelligence capabilities decline\nsharply the minute they start waving guns around?\n\t\t-- Dr. Who\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20558,56,'\nHe didn\'t run for reelection.  \"Politics brings you into contact with all\nthe people you\'d give anything to avoid,\" he said. \"I\'m staying home.\"\n\t\t-- Garrison Keillor, \"Lake Wobegone Days\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20559,56,'\nHe is the best of men who dislikes power.\n\t\t-- Mohammed\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20560,56,'\nHe that would govern others, first should be the master of himself.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20561,56,'\nHe thinks the Gettysburg Address is where Lincoln lived.\n\t\t-- Wanda, \"A Fish Called Wanda\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20562,56,'\nHe who attacks the fundamentals of the American broadcasting industry\nattacks democracy itself.\n\t\t-- William S. Paley, chairman of CBS\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20563,56,'\nHe who renders warfare fatal to all engaged in it will be the greatest\nbenefactor the world has yet known.\n\t\t-- Sir Richard Burton\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20564,56,'\nHe who slings mud generally loses ground.\n\t\t-- Adlai Stevenson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20565,56,'\nHe\'s just a politician trying to save both his faces...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20566,56,'\nHear me, my chiefs, I am tired; my heart is sick and sad.  From where the\nsun now stands I Will Fight No More Forever.\n\t\t-- Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20567,56,'\nHere comes the orator, with his flood of words and his drop of reason.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20568,56,'\nHistory has much to say on following the proper procedures.  From a history\nof the Mexican revolution:\n\t\"Hidalgo was later defeated at Guadalajara.  The rebel army was\ncaptured on its way through the mountains.  All were courtmartialed and\nshot, except Hidalgo, because he was a priest.  He was handed over to\nthe bishop of Durango who excommunicated him and returned him to the\narmy where he was then executed.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20569,56,'\nHistory is on our side (as long as we can control the historians).\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20570,56,'\nHistory is the version of past events that people have decided to agree on.\n\t\t-- Napoleon Bonaparte, \"Maxims\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20571,56,'\nHistory shows that the human mind, fed by constant accessions of knowledge,\nperiodically grows too large for its theoretical coverings, and bursts them\nasunder to appear in new habiliments, as the feeding and growing grub, at\nintervals, casts its too narrow skin and assumes another...  Truly the imago\nstate of Man seems to be terribly distant, but every moult is a step gained.\n\t\t-- Charles Darwin, from \"Origin of the Species\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20572,56,'\nHistory teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have\nexhausted all other alternatives.\n\t\t-- Abba Eban\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20573,56,'\nHow can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese?\n\t\t-- Charles de Gaulle\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20574,56,'\nHow is the world ruled, and how do wars start?  Diplomats tell lies to\njournalists, and they believe what they read.\n\t\t-- Karl Kraus, \"Aphorisms and More Aphorisms\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20575,56,'\nI am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend\nthan be one.\n\t\t-- Clarence Darrow\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20576,56,'\nI am convinced that the truest act of courage is to sacrifice ourselves\nfor others in a totally nonviolent struggle for justice.  To be a man\nis to suffer for others.\n\t\t-- Cesar Chavez\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20577,56,'\nI am not a politician and my other habits are also good.\n\t\t-- A. Ward\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20578,56,'\nI can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.\n\t\t-- Jay Gould\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20579,56,'\nI don\'t care how poor and inefficient a little country is; they like to\nrun their own business.  I know men that would make my wife a better\nhusband than I am; but, darn it, I\'m not going to give her to \'em.\n\t\t-- The Best of Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20580,56,'\n\"I don\'t care who does the electing as long as I get to do the nominating.\"\n\t\t-- Boss Tweed\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20581,56,'\nI don\'t like the Dutchman.  He\'s a crocodile.  He\'s sneaky.  I don\'t trust him.\n\t\t-- Jack \"Legs\" Diamond, just before a peace conference\n\t\t   with Dutch Schultz.\n\nI don\'t trust Legs.  He\'s nuts.  He gets excited and starts pulling a\ntrigger like another guy wipes his nose.\n\t\t-- Dutch Schultz, just before a peace conference with\n\t\t   \"Legs\" Diamond.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20582,56,'\nI don\'t mind what Congress does, as long as they don\'t do it in the\nstreets and frighten the horses.\n\t\t-- Victor Hugo\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20583,56,'\nI DON\'T THINK I\'M ALONE when I say I\'d like to see more and more planets\nfall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20584,56,'\nI find this corpse guilty of carrying a concealed weapon and I fine it $40.\n\t\t-- Judge Roy Bean, finding a pistol and $40 on a man he\'d\n\t\t   just shot.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20585,56,'\nI found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.\n\t\t-- Augustus Caesar\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20586,56,'\nI have a dream.  I have a dream that one day, on the red hills of Georgia, \nthe sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to\nsit down together at the table of brotherhood.\n\t\t-- Martin Luther King, Jr.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20587,56,'\nI have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to sacrifice\nmy wife\'s brother.\n\t\t-- Artemus Ward\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20588,56,'\nI have always noticed that whenever a radical takes to Imperialism,\nhe catches it in a very acute form.\n\t\t-- Winston Churchill, 1903\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20589,56,'\nI have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats. I tell them the truth\nand they never believe me.\n\t\t-- Camillo Di Cavour\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20590,56,'\nI have gained this by philosophy:\nthat I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law.\n\t\t-- Aristotle\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20591,56,'\nI have never understood this liking for war.  It panders to instincts\nalready catered for within the scope of any respectable domestic establishment.\n\t\t-- Alan Bennett\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20592,56,'\nI hold it, that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing...\n\t\t-- Thomas Jefferson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20593,56,'\nI know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World\nWar IV will be fought with sticks and stones.\n\t\t-- Albert Einstein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20594,56,'\nI like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote\npeace than our governments.  Indeed, I think that people want peace so much\nthat one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them\nhave it.\n\t\t-- Dwight D. Eisenhower\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20595,56,'\nI might have gone to West Point, but I was too proud to speak to a congressman.\n\t\t-- Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20596,56,'\nI needed the good will of the legislature of four states.  I formed the\nlegislative bodies with my own money.  I found that it was cheaper that way.\n\t\t-- Jay Gould\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20597,56,'\nI never deny, I never contradict.  I sometimes forget.\n\t\t-- Benjamin Disraeli, British PM, on dealing with the\n\t\t   Royal Family\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20598,56,'\nI never vote for anyone.  I always vote against.\n\t\t-- W.C. Fields\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20599,56,'\nI owe the government $3400 in taxes.  So I sent them two hammers and a\ntoilet seat.\n\t\t-- Michael McShane\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20600,56,'\nI place economy among the first and most important virtues, and public debt as\nthe greatest of dangers to be feared.  To preserve our independence, we must\nnot let our rulers load us with perpetual debt.  If we run into such debts, we\nmust be taxed in our meat and drink, in our necessities and in our comforts,\nin our labor and in our amusements.  If we can prevent the government from\nwasting the labor of the people, under the pretense of caring for them, they\nwill be happy.\n\t\t-- Thomas Jefferson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20601,56,'\nI pledge allegiance to the flag\nof the United States of America\nand to the republic for which it stands,\none nation,\nindivisible,\nwith liberty\nand justice for all.\n\t\t-- Francis Bellamy, 1892\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20602,56,'\nI prefer the most unjust peace to the most righteous war.\n\t\t-- Cicero\n\nEven peace may be purchased at too high a price.\n\t\t-- Poor Richard\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20603,56,'\nI realize that the MX missile is none of our concern.  I realize that the\nwhole point of living in a democracy is that we pay professional\ncongresspersons to concern themselves with things like the MX missile so we\ncan be free to concern ourselves with getting hold of the plumber.\n\nBut from time to time, I feel I must address major public issues such as\nthis, because in a free and open society, where the very future of the world\nhinges on decisions made by our elected leaders, you never win large cash\njournalism awards if you stick to the topics I usually write about, such as\nnose-picking.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"At Last, the Ultimate Deterrent Against\n\t\t   Political Fallout\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20604,56,'\nI see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes.  I hope\nthey do get \'em lowered down enough so people can afford to pay \'em.\n\t\t-- The Best of Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20605,56,'\nI see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neigbors to\nthe south.  We could never understand why Mexico wasn\'t just crazy about\nus; for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart.\n\t\t-- The Best of Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20606,56,'\nI steal.\n\t\t-- Sam Giancana, explaining his livelihood to his draft board\n\nEasy.  I own Chicago.  I own Miami.  I own Las Vegas.\n\t\t-- Sam Giancana, when asked what he did for a living\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20607,56,'\nI think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick and\ntired of being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are\nfed up with being told that all good, right thinking people in this country\nare fed up with being sick and tired.  I\'m certainly not, and I\'m sick and\ntired of being told that I am!\n\t\t-- Monty Python\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20608,56,'\nI think the world is run by C students.\n\t\t-- Al McGuire\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20609,56,'\nI trust the first lion he meets will do his duty.\n\t\t-- J.P. Morgan on Teddy Roosevelt\'s safari\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20610,56,'\nI try not to break the rules but merely to test their elasticity.\n\t\t-- Bill Veeck\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20611,56,'\nI try to keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out.\n\t\t-- Judge Harold T. Stone\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20612,56,'\nI use not only all the brains I have, but all those I can borrow as well.\n\t\t-- Woodrow Wilson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20613,56,'\nI used to be a rebel in my youth.\n\nThis cause... that cause... (chuckle) I backed \'em ALL!  But I learned.\nRebellion is simply a device used by the immature to hide from his own\nproblems.  So I lost interest in politics.  Now when I feel aroused by\na civil rights case or a passport hearing... I realize it\'s just a device.\nI go to my analyst and we work it out.  You have no idea how much better\nI feel these days.\n\t\t-- J. Feiffer\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20614,56,'\nI want to be the white man\'s brother, not his brother-in-law.\n\t\t-- Martin Luther King, Jr.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20615,56,'\nI was appalled by this story of the destruction of a member of a valued\nendangered species.  It\'s all very well to celebrate the practicality of\npigs by ennobling the porcine sibling who constructed his home out of\nbricks and mortar.  But to wantonly destroy a wolf, even one with an\nexcessive taste for porkers, is unconscionable in these ecologically\ncritical times when both man and his domestic beasts continue to maraud\nthe earth.\n\t\tSylvia Kamerman, \"Book Reviewing\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20616,56,'\nI was offered a job as a hoodlum and I turned it down cold.  A thief is\nanybody who gets out and works for his living, like robbing a bank or\nbreaking into a place and stealing stuff, or kidnapping somebody.  He really\ngives some effort to it.  A hoodlum is a pretty lousy sort of scum.  He\nworks for gangsters and bumps guys off when they have been put on the spot.\nWhy, after I\'d made my rep, some of the Chicago Syndicate wanted me to work\nfor them as a hood -- you know, handling a machine gun.  They offered me\ntwo hundred and fifty dollars a week and all the protection I needed.  I\nwas on the lam at the time and not able to work at my regular line.  But\nI wouldn\'t consider it.  \"I\'m a thief,\" I said.  \"I\'m no lousy hoodlum.\"\n\t\t-- Alvin Karpis, \"Public Enemy Number One\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20617,56,'\nI went to my mother and told her I intended to commence a different life.  I\nasked for and obtained her blessing and at once commenced the career of a\nrobber.\n\t\t-- Tiburcio Vasquez\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20618,56,'\nI wish a robot would get elected president.  That way, when he came to town,\nwe could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20619,56,'\nI would like the government to do all it can to mitigate, then, in\nunderstanding, in mutuality of interest, in concern for the common good,\nour tasks will be solved.\n\t\t-- Warren G. Harding\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20620,56,'\nI would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word \'fair\' in connection\nwith income tax policies.\n\t\t-- William F. Buckley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20621,56,'\nI would much rather have men ask why I have no statue, than why I have one.\n\t\t-- Marcus Procius Cato\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20622,56,'\nI would rather be a serf in a poor man\'s house and be above ground than\nreign among the dead.\n\t\t-- Achilles, \"The Odessey\", XI, 489-91\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20623,56,'\nI\'d like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the\nwhole field to private industry.\n\t\t-- Joseph Heller\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20624,56,'\n\"I\'ll carry your books, I\'ll carry a tune, I\'ll carry on, carry over,\ncarry forward, Cary Grant, cash & carry, Carry Me Back To Old Virginia,\nI\'ll even Hara Kari if you show me how, but I will *not* carry a gun.\"\n\t\t-- Hawkeye, M*A*S*H\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20625,56,'\n\"I\'ll rob that rich person and give it to some poor deserving slob.\nThat will *prove* I\'m Robin Hood.\"\n\t\t-- Daffy Duck, \"Robin Hood Daffy\", [1958, Chuck Jones]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20626,56,'\nI\'m going to Vietnam at the request of the White House.  President Johnson\nsays a war isn\'t really a war without my jokes.\n\t\t-- Bob Hope\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20627,56,'\n\"I\'m not stupid, I\'m not expendable, and I\'M NOT GOING!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20628,56,'\nI\'m proud to be paying taxes in the United States.  The only thing is\n-- I could be just as proud for half the money.\n\t\t-- Arthur Godfrey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20629,56,'\n\"I\'m willing to sacrifice anything for this cause, even other people\'s lives.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20630,56,'\nI\'ve always considered statesmen to be more expendable than soldiers.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20631,56,'\nIf a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom;\nand the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money it values more, it\nwill lose that, too.\n\t\t-- W. Somerset Maugham\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20632,56,'\nIf built in great numbers, motels will be used for nothing but illegal\npurposes.\n\t\t-- J. Edgar Hoover\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20633,56,'\nIf everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a deal faster.\n\t\t-- The Duchess, \"Through the Looking Glass\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20634,56,'\nIf fifty million people say a foolish thing, it\'s still a foolish thing.\n\t\t-- Bertrand Russell\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20635,56,'\nIf God had meant for us to be in the Army, we would have been born with\ngreen, baggy skin.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20636,56,'\nIf God wanted us to have a President, He would have sent us a candidate.\n\t\t-- Jerry Dreshfield\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20637,56,'\nIf Karl, instead of writing a lot about Capital, had made a lot of Capital,\nit would have been much better.\n\t\t-- Karl Marx\'s Mother\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20638,56,'\nIf Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad,\nhe should see how bad it is with representation.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20639,56,'\nIf people have to choose between freedom and sandwiches, they\nwill take sandwiches.\n\t\t-- Lord Boyd-orr\n\nEats first, morals after.\n\t\t-- Bertolt Brecht, \"The Threepenny Opera\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20640,56,'\nIf pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20641,56,'\nIf society fits you comfortably enough, you call it freedom.\n\t\t-- Robert Frost\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20642,56,'\nIf the American dream is for Americans only, it will remain our dream\nand never be our destiny.\n\t\t-- Ren\'\be de Visme Williamson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20643,56,'\nIf the government doesn\'t trust the people, why doesn\'t it dissolve them\nand elect a new people?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20644,56,'\n\"If the King\'s English was good enough for Jesus, it\'s good enough for me!\"\n\t\t-- \"Ma\" Ferguson, Governor of Texas (circa 1920)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20645,56,'\nIf the rich could pay the poor to die for them, what a living the poor\ncould make!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20646,56,'\nIf they were so inclined, they could impeach him because they don\'t like\nhis necktie.\n\t\t-- Attorney General William Saxbe\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20647,56,'\nIf voting could change the system, it would be illegal.  If not voting\ncould change the system, it would be illegal.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20648,56,'\nIf we all work together, we can totally disrupt the system.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20649,56,'\nIf we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed the world.\n\t\t-- R. Schaeberle, \"Management Accounting\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20650,56,'\nIf we suffer tamely a lawless attack upon our liberty, we encourage it,\nand involve others in our doom.\n\t\t-- Samuel Adams\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20651,56,'\nIf we won\'t stand together, we don\'t stand a chance.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20652,56,'\nIf you don\'t strike oil in twenty minutes, stop boring.\n\t\t-- Andrew Carnegie, on public speaking\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20653,56,'\n\"If you ever want to get anywhere in politics, my boy, you\'re going to\nhave to get a toehold in the public eye.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20654,56,'\nIf you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it\nwill always do it.\n\t\t-- Les Aspin, D., Wisconsin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20655,56,'\nIf you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is\nmake the rubble bounce.\n\t\t-- Winston Churchill\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20656,56,'\nIf you live in a country run by committee, be on the committee.\n\t\t-- Graham Summer\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20657,56,'\nIf you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year\nwith it in your pockets, and all that don\'t get wet you can keep.\n\t\t-- The Best of Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20658,56,'\nIf you took all of the grains of sand in the world, and lined\nthem up end to end in a row, you\'d be working for the government!\n\t\t-- Mr. Interesting\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20659,56,'\nIf you want to understand your government, don\'t begin by reading the\nConstitution.  It conveys precious little of the flavor of today\'s\nstatecraft.  Instead, read selected portions of the Washington telephone\ndirectory containing listings for all the organizations with titles\nbeginning with the word \"National.\"\n\t\t-- George Will\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20660,56,'\nIf you wants to get elected president, you\'se got to think up some\nmemoraboble homily so\'s school kids can be pestered into memorizin\'\nit, even if they don\'t know what it means.\n\t\t-- Walt Kelly, \"The Pogo Party\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20661,56,'\nIf your hands are clean and your cause is just and your demands are\nreasonable, at least it\'s a start.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20662,56,'\nIllegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.\n\t\t-- Robert Orben\n\nImmigration is the sincerest form of flattery.\n\t\t-- Jack Paar\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20663,56,'\nImbalance of power corrupts and monopoly of power corrupts absolutely.\n\t\t-- Genji\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20664,56,'\nImmigration is the sincerest form of flattery.\n\t\t-- Jack Paar\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20665,56,'\nIn America, any boy may become president and I suppose that\'s just one\nof the risks he takes.\n\t\t-- Adlai Stevenson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20666,56,'\nIn an orderly world, there\'s always a place for the disorderly.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20667,56,'\nIn case of atomic attack, the federal ruling against prayer in schools\nwill be temporarily canceled.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20668,56,'\nIn defeat, unbeatable; in victory, unbearable.\n\t\t-- W. Churchill, on General Montgomery\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20669,56,'\nIn Dr. Johnson\'s famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last\nresort of the scoundrel.  With all due respect to an enlightened but\ninferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20670,56,'\nIn fiction the recourse of the powerless is murder; in life the recourse\nof the powerless is petty theft.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20671,56,'\nIn Germany they first came for the Communists and I didn\'t speak up because\nI wasn\'t a Communist.  Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up\nbecause I wasn\'t a Jew.  Then they came for the trade unionists, and I\ndidn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist.  Then they came for the\nCatholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant.  Then they came\nfor me -- and by that time no one was left to speak up.\n\t\t-- Pastor Martin Niemoller\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20672,56,'\nIn Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror,\nmurder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michaelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci\nand the Renaissance.  In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had\nfive hundred years of democracy and peace -- and what did they produce?\nThe cuckoo-clock.\n\t\t-- Orson Welles, \"The Third Man\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20673,56,'\nIn our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence\nis so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20674,56,'\nIn Pierre Trudeau, Canada has finally produced a Prime Minister worthy of\nassassination.\n\t\t-- John Diefenbaker\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20675,56,'\nIn the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.\n\t\t-- Lenny Bruce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20676,56,'\nIn those days he was wiser than he is now -- he used to frequently take\nmy advice.\n\t\t-- Winston Churchill\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20677,56,'\nIn war it is not men, but the man who counts.\n\t\t-- Napoleon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20678,56,'\nIn war, truth is the first casualty.\n\t\t-- U Thant\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20679,56,'\n... indifference is a militant thing ... when it goes away it leaves\nsmoking ruins, where lie citizens bayonetted through the throat.  It is\nnot a children\'s pastime like mere highway robbery.\n\t\t-- Stephen Crane\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20680,56,'\nIndividualists unite!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20681,56,'\nIndomitable in retreat; invincible in advance; insufferable in victory.\n\t\t-- Winston Churchill, on General Montgomery\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20682,56,'\nInform all the troops that communications have completely broken down.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20683,56,'\n\tInheritance taxes are getting so out of line, that the deceased family\noften doesn\'t have a legacy to stand on.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20684,56,'\nInjustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.\n\t\t-- Martin Luther King, Jr.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20685,56,'\nInteresting poll results reported in today\'s New York Post: people on the\nstreet in midtown Manhattan were asked whether they approved of the US\ninvasion of Grenada.  Fifty-three percent said yes; 39 percent said no;\nand 8 percent said \"Gimme a quarter?\"\n\t\t-- David Letterman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20686,56,'\nInterfere?  Of course we should interfere!  Always do what you\'re\nbest at, that\'s what I say.\n\t\t-- Doctor Who\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20687,56,'\nIt follows that any commander in chief who undertakes to carry out a plan\nwhich he considers defective is at fault; he must put forth his reasons,\ninsist of the plan being changed, and finally tender his resignation rather\nthan be the instrument of his army\'s downfall.\n\t\t-- Napoleon, \"Military Maxims and Thought\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20688,56,'\nIt got to the point where I had to get a haircut or both feet firmly\nplanted in the air.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20689,56,'\nIt is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20690,56,'\nIt is better to wear chains than to believe you are free, and weight\nyourself down with invisible chains.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20691,56,'\nIt is difficult to legislate morality in the absence of moral legislators.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20692,56,'\nIt is easier to be a \"humanitarian\" than to render your own country its\nproper due; it is easier to be a \"patriot\" than to make your community a\nbetter place to live in; it is easier to be a \"civic leader\" than to treat\nyour own family with loving understanding; for the smaller the focus of\nattention, the harder the task.\n\t\t-- Sydney J. Harris\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20693,56,'\nIt is easier to fight for one\'s principles than to live up to them.\n\t\t-- Alfred Adler\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20694,56,'\nIt is enough to make one sympathize with a tyrant for the determination\nof his courtiers to deceive him for their own personal ends...\n\t\t-- Russell Baker and Charles Peters\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20695,56,'\nIt is impossible to defend perfectly against the attack of those who want\nto die.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20696,56,'\nIt is like saying that for the cause of peace, God and the Devil will\nhave a high-level meeting.\n\t\t-- Rev. Carl McIntire, on Nixon\'s China trip\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20697,56,'\nIt is necessary for the welfare of society that genius should be privileged\nto utter sedition, to blaspheme, to outrage good taste, to corrupt the\nyouthful mind, and generally to scandalize one\'s uncles.\n\t\t-- George Bernard Shaw\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20698,56,'\nIt is not the critic who counts, or how the strong man stumbled, or whether\nthe doer of deeds could have done them better.  The credit belongs to the\nman who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and\nblood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again; who\nknows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, and who spends himself in a\nworthy cause, and if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that\nhe\'ll never be with those cold and timid souls who never know either victory\nor defeat.\n\t\t-- Teddy Roosevelt\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20699,56,'\nIt is now 10 p.m.  Do you know where Henry Kissinger is?\n\t\t-- Elizabeth Carpenter\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20700,56,'\nIt is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a\nsentence to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate\nin all times and situations.  They presented him the words: \"And this,\ntoo, shall pass away.\"\n\t\t-- Abraham Lincoln\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20701,56,'\nIt may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better\nstill to be a live lion.  And usually easier.\n\t\t-- Lazarus Long\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20702,56,'\nIt pays in England to be a revolutionary and a bible-smacker most of\none\'s life and then come round.\n\t\t-- Lord Alfred Douglas\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20703,56,'\nIt seems a little silly now, but this country was founded as a protest\nagainst taxation.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20704,56,'\nIt seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20705,56,'\nIt took a while to surface, but it appears that a long-distance credit card\nmay have saved a U.S. Army unit from heavy casualties during the Grenada\nmilitary rescue/invasion. Major General David Nichols, Air Force ... said\nthe Army unit was in a house surrounded by Cuban forces.  One soldier found\na telephone and, using his credit card, called Ft. Bragg, N.C., telling Army\nofficiers there of the perilous situation. The officers in turn called the\nAir Force, which sent in gunships to scatter the Cubans and relieve the unit.\n\t\t-- Aviation Week and Space Technology\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20706,56,'\n\"It was a Roman who said it was sweet to die for one\'s country.  The\nGreeks never said it was sweet to die for anything.  They had no vital lies.\"\n\t\t-- Edith Hamilton, \"The Greek Way\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20707,56,'\nIt was the Law of the Sea, they said.  Civilization ends at the waterline.\nBeyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top.\n\t\t-- Hunter S. Thompson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20708,56,'\nIt\'s a good thing we don\'t get all the government we pay for.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20709,56,'\nIt\'s a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it\'s a depression\nwhen you lose yours.\n\t\t-- Harry S. Truman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20710,56,'\n\t\"It\'s a summons.\"\n\t\"What\'s a summons?\"\n\t\"It means summon\'s in trouble.\"\n\t\t-- Rocky and Bullwinkle\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20711,56,'\nIt\'s getting uncommonly easy to kill people in large numbers, and the first\nthing a principle does -- if it really is a principle -- is to kill somebody.\n\t\t-- Dorothy L. Sayers, \"Gaudy Night\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20712,56,'\nIt\'s important that people know what you stand for.\nIt\'s more important that they know what you won\'t stand for.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20713,56,'\nIt\'s no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how\nto run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.\n\t\t-- George Burns\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20714,56,'\nIt\'s the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon.  Which raises\nthe fear that it may not be long before we\'re paying somebody not to.\n\t\t-- Franklin P. Jones\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20715,56,'\n\tJacek, a Polish schoolboy, is told by his teacher that he has\nbeen chosen to carry the Polish flag in the May Day parade.\n\t\"Why me?\"  whines the boy.  \"Three years ago I carried the flag\nwhen Brezhnev was the Secretary; then I carried the flag when it was\nAndropov\'s turn, and again when Chernenko was in the Kremlin.  Why is\nit always me, teacher?\"\n\t\"Because, Jacek, you have such golden hands,\" the teacher\nexplains.\n\t\t-- being told in Poland, 1987\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20716,56,'\nJoin in the new game that\'s sweeping the country.  It\'s called \"Bureaucracy\".\nEverybody stands in a circle.  The first person to do anything loses.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20717,56,'\nJoin the army, see the world, meet interesting, exciting people, and kill them.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20718,56,'\nJoin the Navy; sail to far-off exotic lands, meet exciting interesting people,\nand kill them.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20719,56,'\nJust as most issues are seldom black or white, so are most good solutions\nseldom black or white.  Beware of the solution that requires one side to be\ntotally the loser and the other side to be totally the winner.  The reason\nthere are two sides to begin with usually is because neither side has all\nthe facts.  Therefore, when the wise mediator effects a compromise, he is\nnot acting from political motivation.  Rather, he is acting from a deep\nsense of respect for the whole truth.\n\t\t-- Stephen R. Schwambach\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20720,56,'\nKeep your laws off my body!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20721,56,'\nKnow thyself.  If you need help, call the C.I.A.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20722,56,'\nL\'etat c\'est moi.\n\t[I am the state.]\n\t\t-- Louis XIV\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20723,56,'\nLaw stands mute in the midst of arms.\n\t\t-- Marcus Tullius Cicero\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20724,56,'\nLawful Dungeon Master -- and they\'re MY laws!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20725,56,'\nLeadership involves finding a parade and getting in front of it; what\nis happening in America is that those parades are getting smaller and\nsmaller -- and there are many more of them.\n\t\t-- John Naisbitt, \"Megatrends\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20726,56,'\nLet no guilty man escape.\n\t\t-- U.S. Grant\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20727,56,'\nLet the people think they govern and they will be governed.\n\t\t-- William Penn, founder of Pennsylvania\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20728,56,'\nLet us never negotiate out of fear, but let us never fear to negotiate.\n\t\t-- John F. Kennedy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20729,56,'\nLiberty don\'t work as good in practice as it does in speeches.\n\t-- The Best of Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20730,56,'\nLiberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have.\n\t\t-- Harry Emerson Fosdick\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20731,56,'\nLife is a concentration camp.  You\'re stuck here and there\'s no way\nout and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20732,56,'\nListen, there is no courage or any extra courage that I know of to find out\nthe right thing to do.  Now, it is not only necessary to do the right thing,\nbut to do it in the right way and the only problem you have is what is the\nright thing to do and what is the right way to do it.  That is the problem.\nBut this economy of ours is not so simple that it obeys to the opinion of\nbias or the pronouncements of any particular individual, even to the President.\nThis is an economy that is made up of 173 million people, and it reflects\ntheir desires, they\'re ready to buy, they\'re ready to spend, it is a thing\nthat is too complex and too big to be affected adversely or advantageously\njust by a few words or any particular -- say, a little this and that, or even\na panacea so alleged.\n\t\t-- D.D. Eisenhower, in response to: \"Has the government\n\t\tbeen lacking in courage and boldness in facing up to\n\t\tthe recession?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20733,56,'\nLots of folks are forced to skimp to support a government that won\'t.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20734,56,'\nLove America -- or give it back.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20735,56,'\n\"MacDonald has the gift on compressing the largest amount of words into\nthe smallest amount of thoughts.\"\n\t\t-- Winston Churchill\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20736,56,'\nMajorities, of course, start with minorities.\n\t\t-- Robert Moses\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20737,56,'\nMan is a military animal, glories in gunpowder, and loves parade.\n\t\t-- P.J. Bailey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20738,56,'\nMan is by nature a political animal.\n\t\t-- Aristotle\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20739,56,'\nMany a bum show has been saved by the flag.\n\t\t-- George M. Cohan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20740,56,'\nMassachusetts has the best politicians money can buy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20741,56,'\nMessage will arrive in the mail.  Destroy, before the FBI sees it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20742,56,'\nMickey Mouse wears a Spiro Agnew watch.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20743,56,'\nMilitary intelligence is a contradiction in terms.\n\t\t-- Groucho Marx\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20744,56,'\nMilitary justice is to justice what military music is to music.\n\t\t-- Groucho Marx\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20745,56,'\nMost people want either less corruption or more of a chance to\nparticipate in it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20746,56,'\nMr. Salter\'s side of the conversation was limited to expressions of assent.\nWhen Lord Copper was right he said \"Definitely, Lord Copper\"; when he was\nwrong, \"Up to a point.\"\n\t\"Let me see, what\'s the name of the place I mean?  Capital of Japan?\nYokohama isn\'t it?\"\n\t\"Up to a point, Lord Copper.\"\n\t\"And Hong Kong definitely belongs to us, doesn\'t it?\"\n\t\"Definitely, Lord Copper.\"\n\t\t-- Evelyn Waugh, \"Scoop\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20747,56,'\nMy central memory of that time seems to hang on one or five or maybe forty\nnights -- or very early mornings -- when I left the Fillmore half-crazy and,\ninstead of going home, aimed the big 650 Lightning across the Bay Bridge at\na hundred miles an hour ... booming through the Treasure Island tunnel at\nthe lights of Oakland and Berkeley and Richmond, not quite sure which\nturnoff to take when I got to the other end ... but being absolutely certain\nthat no matter which way I went I would come to a place where people were\njust as high and wild as I was: no doubt at all about that.\n\t\t-- Hunter S. Thompson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20748,56,'\n\"My country, right or wrong\" is a thing that no patriot would think\nof saying, except in a desperate case.  It is like saying \"My mother,\ndrunk or sober.\"\n\t\t-- G.K. Chesterton, \"The Defendant\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20749,56,'\nMy experience with government is when things are non-controversial, beautifully\nco-ordinated and all the rest, it must be that not much is going on.\n\t\t-- J.F. Kennedy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20750,56,'\nMy father was a saint, I\'m not.\n\t\t-- Indira Gandhi\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20751,56,'\nMy folks didn\'t come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet\nthe boat.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20752,56,'\nMy own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of human systems,\nand I am convinced that we are terribly vulnerable.  ...  We should be\nreluctant to turn back upon the frontier of this epoch. Space is indifferent\nto what we do; it has no feeling, no design, no interest in whether or not\nwe grapple with it. But we cannot be indifferent to space, because the grand,\nslow march of intelligence has brought us, in our generation, to a point\nfrom which we can explore and understand and utilize it. To turn back now\nwould be to deny our history, our capabilities.\n\t\t-- James A. Michener\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20753,56,'\nNAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Giuseppe?  Everything he\n\t  says is wrong.\nGIUSEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says\n\t  will be right.\n\t\t-- G. B. Shaw, \"The Man of Destiny\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20754,56,'\nNational security is in your hands - guard it well.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20755,56,'\nNecessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom.\nIt is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.\n\t\t-- William Pitt, 1783\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20756,56,'\nNeglect of duty does not cease, by repetition, to be neglect of duty.\n\t\t-- Napoleon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20757,56,'\nNemo me impune lacessit.\n\t[No one provokes me with impunity]\n\t\t-- Motto of the Crown of Scotland\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20758,56,'\nNever let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.\n\t\t-- Salvor Hardin, \"Foundation\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20759,56,'\nNever trust an automatic pistol or a D.A.\'s deal.\n\t\t-- John Dillinger\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20760,56,'\n\"Never underestimate the power of a small tactical nuclear weapon.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20761,56,'\nNext to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying\nas an income tax refund.\n\t\t-- F. J. Raymond\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20762,56,'\nNihilism should commence with oneself.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20763,56,'\nNo man\'s ambition has a right to stand in the way of performing a simple\nact of justice.\n\t\t-- John Altgeld\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20764,56,'\nNo matter whether th\' constitution follows th\' flag or not, th\' supreme\ncourt follows th\' iliction returns.\n\t\t-- Mr. Dooley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20765,56,'\nNo, my friend, the way to have good and safe government, is not to trust it\nall to one, but to divide it among the many, distributing to every one exactly\nthe functions he is competent to.  It is by dividing and subdividing these\nrepublics from the national one down through all its subordinations, until it\nends in the administration of every man\'s farm by himself; by placing under\nevery one what his own eye may superintend, that all will be done for the best.\n\t\t-- Thomas Jefferson, to Joseph Cabell, 1816\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20766,56,'\nNo-one would remember the Good Samaritan if he had only had good\nintentions.  He had money as well.\n\t\t-- Margaret Thatcher\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20767,56,'\nNobody shot me.\n\t\t-- Frank Gusenberg, his last words, when asked by police\n\t\twho had shot him 14 times with a machine gun in the Saint\n\t\tValentine\'s Day Massacre.\n\nOnly Capone kills like that.\n\t\t-- George \"Bugs\" Moran, on the Saint Valentine\'s Day Massacre\n\nThe only man who kills like that is Bugs Moran.\n\t\t-- Al Capone, on the Saint Valentine\'s Day Massacre\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20768,56,'\nNobody takes a bribe.  Of course at Christmas if you happen to hold out\nyour hat and somebody happens to put a little something in it, well, that\'s\ndifferent.\n\t\t-- New York City Police Commissioner (Ret.) William P.\n\t\t   O\'Brien, instructions to the force.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20769,56,'\nNothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.\n\t\t-- Winston Churchill\n\nNext to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as\nsatisfying as an income tax refund.\n\t\t-- F.J. Raymond\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20770,56,'\nNothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.\n\t\t-- Andrew Young\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20771,56,'\nNothing, nothing, nothing, no error, no crime is so absolutely repugnant\nto God as everything which is official; and why? because the official is\nso impersonal and therefore the deepest insult which can be offered to a\npersonality.\n\t\t-- Soren Kierkegaard\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20772,56,'\nNow and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20773,56,'\n\"Nuclear war would mean abolition of most comforts, and disruption of \nnormal routines, for children and adults alike.\"\n\t\t-- Willard F. Libby, \"You *Can* Survive Atomic Attack\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20774,56,'\n\"Nuclear war would really set back cable.\"\n\t\t-- Ted Turner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20775,56,'\nO\'Brien held up his left hand, its back toward Winston, with the\nthumb hidden and the four fingers extended.\n\t\"How many fingers am I holding up, Winston?\"\n\t\"Four.\"\n\t\"And if the Party says that it is not four but five -- then how many?\"\n\t\"Four.\"\n\tThe word ended in a gasp of pain.\n\t\t-- George Orwell\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20776,56,'\nOh, I don\'t blame Congress.  If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I\'d\nbe irresponsible, too.\n\t\t-- Lichty & Wagner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20777,56,'\nOld soldiers never die.  Young ones do.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20778,56,'\nOn account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only\nnation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter\nwhat it does.\n\t\t-- Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20779,56,'\nOnce is happenstance,\nTwice is coincidence,\nThree times is enemy action.\n\t\t-- Auric Goldfinger\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20780,56,'\n\tOnce there was a marine biologist who loved dolphins. He spent his\ntime trying to feed and protect his beloved creatures of the sea.  One day,\nin a fit of inventive genius, he came up with a serum that would make\ndolphins live forever!\n\tOf course he was ecstatic. But he soon realized that in order to mass\nproduce this serum he would need large amounts of a certain compound that was\nonly found in nature in the metabolism of a rare South American bird.  Carried\naway by his love for dolphins, he resolved that he would go to the zoo and\nsteal one of these birds.\n\tUnbeknownst to him, as he was arriving at the zoo an elderly lion was\nescaping from its cage.  The zookeepers were alarmed and immediately began\ncombing the zoo for the escaped animal, unaware that it had simply lain down\non the sidewalk and had gone to sleep.\n\tMeanwhile, the marine biologist arrived at the zoo and procured his\nbird.  He was so excited by the prospect of helping his dolphins that he\nstepped absentmindedly stepped over the sleeping lion on his way back to his\ncar.  Immediately, 1500 policemen converged on him and arrested him for\ntransporting a myna across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20781,56,'\nOnce upon a time there was a kingdom ruled by a great bear.  The peasants\nwere not very rich, and one of the few ways to become at all wealthy was\nto become a Royal Knight.  This required an interview with the bear.  If\nthe bear liked you, you were knighted on the spot.  If not, the bear would\njust as likely remove your head with one swat of a paw.  However, the family\nof these unfortunate would-be knights was compensated with a beautiful\nsheepdog from the royal kennels, which was itself a fairly valuable\npossession.  And the moral of the story is:\n \nThe mourning after a terrible knight, nothing beats the dog of the bear that\nhit you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20782,56,'\nOnce you\'ve seen one nuclear war, you\'ve seen them all.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20783,56,'\nOne nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20784,56,'\nOne of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to\ndo and always a clever thing to say.\n\t\t-- Will Durant\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20785,56,'\nOne organism, one vote.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20786,56,'\nOne planet is all you get.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20787,56,'\nOne seldom sees a monument to a committee.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20788,56,'\nOnly two kinds of witnesses exist.  The first live in a neighborhood where\na crime has been committed and in no circumstances have ever seen anything\nor even heard a shot.  The second category are the neighbors of anyone who\nhappens to be accused of the crime.  These have always looked out of their\nwindows when the shot was fired, and have noticed the accused person standing\npeacefully on his balcony a few yards away.\n\t\t-- Sicilian police officer\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20789,56,'\nOur congratulations go to a Burlington Vermont civilian employee of the\nlocal Army National Guard base.  He recently received a substational cash\naward from our government for inventing a device for optical scanning.\nHis device reportedly will save the government more than $6 million a year\nby replacing a more expensive helicopter maintenance tool with his own,\nhome-made, hand-held model.\n\nNot suprisingly, we also have a couple of money-saving ideas that we submit\nto the Pentagon free of charge:\n\n\t(a) Don\'t kill anybody.\n\t(b) Don\'t build things that do.\n\t(c) And don\'t pay other people to kill anybody.\n\nWe expect annual savings to be in the billions.\n\t\t-- Sojourners\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20790,56,'\nOur sires\' age was worse that our grandsires\'.\nWe their sons are more worthless than they:\nso in our turn we shall give the world a progeny yet more corrupt.\n\t\t-- Quintus Horatius Flaccus (Horace)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20791,56,'\nOur swords shall play the orators for us.\n\t\t-- Christopher Marlowe\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20792,56,'\nOurs is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants.\n\t\t-- General Omar N. Bradley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20793,56,'\nPatriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.\n\t\t-- S. Johnson, \"The Life of Samuel Johnson\" by J. Boswell\n\nIn Dr. Johnson\'s famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last\nresort of the scoundrel.  With all due respect to an enlightened but\ninferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce\n\nWhen Dr. Johnson defined patriotism as the last refuge of a scoundrel,\nhe ignored the enormous possibilities of the word reform.\n\t\t-- Sen. Roscoe Conkling\n\nPublic office is the last refuge of a scoundrel.\n\t\t-- Boies Penrose\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20794,56,'\nPatriotism is the virtue of the vicious.\n\t\t-- Oscar Wilde\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20795,56,'\nPeace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.\n\t\t-- Albert Einstein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20796,56,'\nPeace is much more precious than a piece of land... let there be no more wars.\n\t\t-- Mohammed Anwar Sadat, 1918-1981\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20797,56,'\nPeople never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war, or before an election.\n\t\t-- Otto Von Bismarck\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20798,56,'\nPeople of privilege will always risk their complete destruction\nrather than surrender any material part of their advantage.\n\t\t-- John Kenneth Galbraith\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20799,56,'\nPeople that can\'t find something to live for always seem to find something to\ndie for.  The problem is, they usually want the rest of us to die for it too.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20800,56,'\nPeople usually get what\'s coming to them ... unless it\'s been mailed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20801,56,'\nPeople who develop the habit of thinking of themselves as world\ncitizens are fulfilling the first requirement of sanity in our time.\n\t\t-- Norman Cousins\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20802,56,'\nPerhaps the most widespread illusion is that if we were in power we would\nbehave very differently from those who now hold it -- when, in truth, in\norder to get power we would have to become very much like them.  (Lenin\'s\nfatal mistake, both in theory and in practice.)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20803,56,'\nPersistence in one opinion has never been considered a merit in political\nleaders.\n\t\t-- Marcus Tullius Cicero, \"Ad familiares\", 1st century BC\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20804,56,'\nPilfering Treasury property is paticularly dangerous: big thieves are\nruthless in punishing little thieves.\n\t\t-- Diogenes\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20805,56,'\nPoland has gun control.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20806,56,'\nPolitical history is far too criminal a subject to be a fit thing to\nteach children.\n\t\t-- W.H. Auden\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20807,56,'\nPolitical speeches are like steer horns.  A point here, a point there,\nand a lot of bull inbetween.\n\t\t-- Alfred E. Neuman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20808,56,'\nPolitical T.V. commercials prove one thing: some candidates can tell\nall their good points and qualifications in just 30 seconds.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20809,56,'\nPoliticians are the same all over.  They promise to build a bridge even\nwhere there is no river.\n\t-- Nikita Khrushchev\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20810,56,'\nPoliticians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.\n\t\t-- Arthur C. Clarke\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20811,56,'\nPoliticians speak for their parties, and parties never are, never have\nbeen, and never will be wrong.\n\t\t-- Walter Dwight\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20812,56,'\nPolitics -- the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign\nfunds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other.\n\t\t-- Oscar Ameringer\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20813,56,'\nPolitics and the fate of mankind are formed by men without ideals and without\ngreatness.  Those who have greatness within them do not go in for politics.\n\t\t-- Albert Camus\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20814,56,'\nPolitics are almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.  In war,\nyou can only be killed once.\n\t\t-- Winston Churchill\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20815,56,'\nPolitics is not the art of the possible.  It consists in choosing\nbetween the disastrous and the unpalatable.\n\t\t-- John Kenneth Galbraith\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20816,56,'\nPolitics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next\nweek, next month and next year.  And to have the ability afterwards to\nexplain why it didn\'t happen.\n\t\t-- Winston Churchill\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20817,56,'\nPolitics makes strange bedfellows, and journalism makes strange politics.\n\t\t-- Amy Gorin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20818,56,'\nPolitics, as a practice, whatever its professions, has always been the\nsystematic organisation of hatreds.\n\t\t-- Henry Adams, \"The Education of Henry Adams\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20819,56,'\nPolitics, like religion, hold up the torches of matrydom to the\nreformers of error.\n\t\t-- Thomas Jefferson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20820,56,'\nPopulus vult decipi.\n\t[The people like to be deceived.]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20821,56,'\nPost proelium, praemium.\n\t[After the battle, the reward.]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20822,56,'\nPostmen never die, they just lose their zip.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20823,56,'\nPoverty begins at home.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20824,56,'\nPoverty must have its satisfactions, else there would not be so many poor\npeople.\n\t\t-- Don Herold\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20825,56,'\nPower corrupts.  Absolute power is kind of neat.\n\t\t-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20826,56,'\nPower is poison.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20827,56,'\nPower is the finest token of affection.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20828,56,'\nPower tends to corrupt, absolute power corrupts absolutely.\n\t\t-- Lord Acton\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20829,56,'\nPractical politics consists in ignoring facts.\n\t\t-- Henry Adams\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20830,56,'\nPresident Reagan has noted that there are too many economic pundits and\nforecasters and has decided on an excess prophets tax.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20831,56,'\nPut a rogue in the limelight and he will act like an honest man.\n\t\t-- Napoleon Bonaparte, \"Maxims\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20832,56,'\nQuestion authority.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20833,56,'\nQUESTION AUTHORITY.\n\n(Sez who?)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20834,56,'\nQuestion: Is it better to abide by the rules until they\'re changed or\nhelp speed the change by breaking them?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20835,56,'\nRemember folks.  Street lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph.\n\t\t-- Jim Samuels\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20836,56,'\n\"Remember, if it\'s being done correctly, here or abroad, it\'s ___\b\b\bnot the U.S.\nArmy doing it!\"\n\t\t-- Good Morning VietNam\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20837,56,'\nReporter (to Mahatma Gandhi): Mr Gandhi, what do you think of Western\n\tCivilization?\nGandhi:\tI think it would be a good idea.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20838,56,'\nReunite Gondwondaland!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20839,56,'\nRev. Jim:\tWhat does an amber light mean?                                 \nBobby:\t\tSlow down.\nRev. Jim:\tWhat...   does...  an...  amber...  light...  mean?\nBobby:\t\tSlow down.\nRev. Jim:\tWhat....     does....     an....     amber....     light....\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20840,56,'\n\"Rights\" is a fictional abstraction.  No one has \"Rights\", neither machines\nnor flesh-and-blood.  Persons... have opportunities, not rights, which they\nuse or do not use.\n\t\t-- Lazarus Long\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20841,56,'\nRule the Empire through force.\n\t\t-- Shogun Tokugawa\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20842,56,'\nSauron is alive in Argentina!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20843,56,'\nScrubbing floors and emptying bedpans has as much dignity as the Presidency.\n\t\t-- Richard Nixon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20844,56,'\nSecrecy is the beginning of tyranny.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20845,56,'\nSed quis custodiet ipsos Custodes?\n\t[Who guards the Guardians?]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20846,56,'\nSentenced to two years hard labor (for sodomy), Oscar Wilde stood handcuffed\nin driving rain waiting for transport to prison.  \"If this is the way Queen\nVictoria treats her prisoners,\" he remarked, \"she doesn\'t deserve to have\nany.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20847,56,'\nSerfs up!\n\t\t-- Spartacus\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20848,56,'\nShah, shah!  Ayatollah you so!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20849,56,'\nSherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have taken\nhim a great deal of pains to become what we now see him.  Such an excess of\nstupidity, sir, is not in Nature.\n\t\t-- Samuel Johnson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20850,56,'\nSigns of crime: screaming or cries for help.\n\t\t-- The Brown University Security Crime Prevention Pamphlet\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20851,56,'\nSince a politician never believes what he says, he is surprised\nwhen others believe him.\n\t\t-- Charles DeGaulle\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20852,56,'\nSince aerosols are forbidden, the police are using roll-on Mace!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20853,56,'\n[Sir Stafford Cripps] has all the virtues I dislike and none of the\nvices I admire.\n\t\t-- Winston Churchill\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20854,56,'\nSlaves are generally expected to sing as well as to work ... I did not, when\na slave, understand the deep meanings of those rude, and apparently incoherent\nsongs.  I was myself within the circle, so that I neither saw nor heard as\nthose without might see and hear.  They told a tale which was then altogether\nbeyond my feeble comprehension: they were tones, loud, long and deep,\nbreathing the prayer and complaint of souls boiling over with the bitterest\nanguish.  Every tone was a testimony against slavery, and a prayer to God\nfor deliverance from chains.\n\t\t-- Frederick Douglass\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20855,56,'\nSo from the depths of its enchantment, Terra was able to calculate a course\nof action.  Here at last was an opportunity to consort with Dirbanu on a\nfriendly basis -- great Durbanu which, since it had force fields which Earth\ncould not duplicate, must of necessity have many other things Earth could\nuse; mighty Durbanu before whom we would kneel in supplication (with purely-\nfor-defense bombs hidden in our pockets) with lowered heads (making invisible\nthe knife in our teeth) and ask for crumbs from their table (in order to\nextrapolate the location of their kitchens).\n\t\t-- Theodore Sturgeon, \"The World Well Lost\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20856,56,'\n... so long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those\nwho wish to tyrranize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent,\nand will devote themselves in the name of any number of gods, religious\nand otherwise, to put shackles upon sleeping men.\n\t\t-- Voltarine de Cleyre\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20857,56,'\nSo many men, so many opinions; every one his own way.\n\t\t-- Publius Terentius Afer (Terence)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20858,56,'\nSome men rob you with a six-gun -- others with a fountain pen.\n\t\t-- Woodie Guthrie\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20859,56,'\n\tSomewhat alarmed at the continued growth of the number of employees\non the Department of Agriculture payroll in 1962, Michigan Republican Robert\nGriffin proposed an amendment to the farm bill so that \"the total number of\nemployees in the Department of Agriculture at no time exceeds the number of\nfarmers in America.\"\n\t\t-- Bill Adler, \"The Washington Wits\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20860,56,'\nStamp out organized crime!!  Abolish the IRS.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20861,56,'\n\tStrange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas.  Five years later?\nSix?  It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era -- the kind of peak that\nnever comes again.  San Fransisco in the middle sixties was a very special time\nand place to be a part of.  Maybe it meant something.  Maybe not, in the long\nrun...  There was madness in any direction, at any hour.  If not across the\nBay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda...  You could\nstrike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we\nwere doing was right, that we were winning...\n\tAnd that, I think, was the handle -- that sense of inevitable victory\nover the forces of Old and Evil.  Not in any mean or military sense; we didn\'t\nneed that. Our energy would simply prevail.  There was no point in fighting\n-- on our side or theirs.  We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest\nof a high and beautiful wave.  So now, less than five years later, you can go\nup on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes\nyou can almost ___\b\b\bsee the high-water mark -- that place where the wave finally\nbroke and rolled back.\n\t\t-- Hunter S. Thompson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20862,56,'\nSuch a foolish notion, that war is called devotion, when the greatest\nwarriors are the ones who stand for peace.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20863,56,'\nSupport your local police force -- steal!!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20864,56,'\nSupport your right to arm bears!!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20865,56,'\nSupport your right to bare arms!\n\t\t-- A message from the National Short-Sleeved Shirt Association\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20866,56,'\nSurprise!  You are the lucky winner of random I.R.S. Audit!  Just type\nin your name and social security number.  Please remember that leaving\nthe room is punishable under law:\n\nName\n#\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20867,56,'\nTake Care of the Molehills, and the Mountains Will Take Care of Themselves.\n\t\t-- Motto of the Federal Civil Service\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20868,56,'\nTake your Senator to lunch this week.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20869,56,'\nTANSTAAFL\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20870,56,'\nTax reform means \"Don\'t tax you, don\'t tax me, tax that fellow behind\nthe tree.\"\n\t\t-- Russell Long\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20871,56,'\nTaxes are going up so fast, the government is likely to price itself\nout of the market.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20872,56,'\nTaxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20873,56,'\nTen persons who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.\n\t\t-- Napoleon I\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20874,56,'\nThat government is best which governs least.\n\t\t-- Henry David Thoreau, \"Civil Disobedience\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20875,56,'\nThat\'s where the money was.\n\t\t-- Willie Sutton, on being asked why he robbed a bank\n\nIt\'s a rather pleasant experience to be alone in a bank at night.\n\t\t-- Willie Sutton\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20876,56,'\n... The Anarchists\' [national] anthem is an international anthem that\nconsists of 365 raspberries blown in very quick succession to the tune\nof \"Camptown Races\".  Nobody has to stand up for it, nobody has to\nlisten to it, and, even better, nobody has to play it.\n\t\t-- Mike Harding, \"The Armchair Anarchist\'s Almanac\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20877,56,'\nThe Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.\n\t\t-- Bill Murray\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20878,56,'\nThe assertion that \"all men are created equal\" was of no practical use\nin effecting our separation from Great Britain and it was placed in the\nDeclaration not for that, but for future use.\n\t\t--  Abraham Lincoln\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20879,56,'\nThe attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20880,56,'\nThe avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any\nreward.\n\t\t-- John Maynard Keynes\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20881,56,'\nThe better the state is established, the fainter is humanity.\nTo make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task.\n\t\t-- Nietzsche\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20882,56,'\nThe bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20883,56,'\nThe Constitution may not be perfect, but it\'s a lot better than what we\'ve got!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20884,56,'\nThe control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.\n\t\t-- Hilaire Belloc\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20885,56,'\nThe Crown is full of it!\n\t\t-- Nate Harris, 1775\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20886,56,'\nThe danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern.  Every class\nis unfit to govern.\n\t\t-- Lord Acton\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20887,56,'\nThe degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons.\n\t\t-- F. Dostoyevski\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20888,56,'\nThe dirty work at political conventions is almost always done in the grim\nhours between midnight and dawn.  Hangmen and politicians work best when\nthe human spirit is at its lowest ebb.\n\t\t-- Russell Baker\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20889,56,'\nThe distinction between Freedom and Liberty is not accurately known;\nnaturalists have been unable to find a living specimen of either.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20890,56,'\nThe doctrine of human equality reposes on this: that there is no man\nreally clever who has not found that he is stupid.\n\t\t-- Gilbert K. Chesterson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20891,56,'\nThe end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.\n\t\t-- Buckminster Fuller\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20892,56,'\nThe eyes of taxes are upon you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20893,56,'\nThe fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence that it is not\nutterly absurd; indeed, in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind,\na widespread belief is more often likely to be foolish than sensible.\n\t\t-- Bertrand Russell, in \"Marriage and Morals\", 1929\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20894,56,'\nThe fact that people are poor or discriminated against doesn\'t necessarily\nendow them with any special qualities of justice, nobility, charity or\ncompassion.\n\t\t-- Saul Alinsky\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20895,56,'\nThe famous politician was trying to save both his faces.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20896,56,'\nThe fashionable drawing rooms of London have always been happy to accept\noutsiders -- if only on their own, albeit undemanding terms.  That is to\nsay, artists, so long as they are not too talented, men of humble birth,\nso long as they have since amassed several million pounds, and socialists\nso long as they are Tories.\n\t\t-- Christopher Booker\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20897,56,'\nThe first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.\n\t\t-- Abbie Hoffman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20898,56,'\nThe founding fathers tried to set up a judicial system where the accused\nreceived a fair trial, not a system to insure an acquittal on technicalities.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20899,56,'\n\tThe General disliked trying to explain the highly technical inner\nworkings of the U.S. Air Force.\n\t\"$7,662 for a ten cup coffee maker, General?\" the Senator asked.\n\tIn his head he ran through his standard explanations.  \"It\'s not so,\"\nhe thought.  \"It\'s a deterrent.\"  Soon he came up with, \"It\'s computerized,\nSenator.  Tiny computer chips make coffee that\'s smooth and full-bodied.  Try\na cup.\"\n\tThe Senator did.  \"Pfffttt!  Tastes like jet fuel!\"\n\t\"It\'s not so,\" the General thought.  \"It\'s a deterrent.\"\n\tThen he remembered something.  \"We bought a lot of untested computer\nchips,\" the General answered.  \"They got into everything.  Just a little\nmix-up.  Nothing serious.\"\n\tThen he remembered something else.  It was at the site of the\nmysterious B-1 crash.  A strange smell in the fuel lines.  It smelled like\ncoffee.  Smooth and full bodied...\n\t\t-- Another Episode of General\'s Hospital\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20900,56,'\nThe genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the\npeople from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people\ndrudge along paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return.\n\t\t-- Gore Vidal\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20901,56,'\nThe government has just completed work on a missile that turned out to be a\nbit of a boondoggle; nicknamed \"Civil Servant\", it won\'t work and they can\'t\nfire it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20902,56,'\nThe Government just announced today the creation of the Neutron Bomb II.\nSimilar to the Neutron Bomb, the Neutron Bomb II not only kills people\nand leaves buildings standing, but also does a little light housekeeping.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20903,56,'\nThe graveyards are full of indispensable men.\n\t\t-- Charles de Gaulle\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20904,56,'\nThe greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men\nof zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.\n\t\t-- Justice Louis D. Brandeis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20905,56,'\nThe greatest disloyalty one can offer to great pioneers is to refuse to\nmove an inch from where they stood.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20906,56,'\nThe hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.\n\t\t-- Albert Einstein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20907,56,'\nThe hater of property and of government takes care to have his warranty\ndeed recorded, and the book written against fame and learning has the\nauthor\'s name on the title page.\n\t\t-- Ralph Waldo Emerson, Journals, 1831\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20908,56,'\nThe health of a democratic society may be measured by the quality\nof functions performed by private citizens.\n\t\t-- Alexis de Tocqueville\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20909,56,'\nThe income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf\nhas.  Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don\'t know\nwhen it\'s through if you are a crook or a martyr.\n\t\t-- Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20910,56,'\nThe inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings;\nthe inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.\n\t\t-- Churchill\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20911,56,'\nThe introduction of a new kind of music must be shunned as imperiling the\nwhole state, for styles of music are never disturbed without affecting\nthe most important political institutions. ...  The new style, gradually\ngaining a lodgement, quitely insinuates itself into manners and customs,\nand from it ... goes on to attack laws and constitutions, displaying the\nutmost impudence, until it ends by overturning everything.\n\t\t-- Plato, \"Republic\", 370 B.C.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20912,56,'\nThe IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free\ninformation hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax\ntip is that you should print neatly.  If you ask them a real tax question,\nsuch as how you can cheat, they\'re useless.\n\nSo, for guidance, you want to look to big business.  Big business never pays\na nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer\norganization that never pays a nickel in taxes...\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Sweating Out Taxes\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20913,56,'\nThe law will never make men free; it is men who have got to make the law free.\n\t\t-- Henry David Thoreau\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20914,56,'\nThe Least Successful Executions\n\tHistory has furnished us with two executioners worthy of attention.\nThe first performed in Sydney in Australia.  In 1803 three attempts were\nmade to hang a Mr. Joseph Samuels.  On the first two of these the rope\nsnapped, while on the third Mr. Samuels just hung there peacefully until he\nand everyone else got bored.  Since he had proved unsusceptible to capital\npunishment, he was reprieved.\n\tThe most important British executioner was Mr. James Berry who\ntried three times in 1885 to hang Mr. John Lee at Exeter Jail, but on each\noccasion failed to get the trap door open.\n\tIn recognition of this achievement, the Home Secretary commuted\nLee\'s sentence to \"life\" imprisonment.  He was released in 1917, emigrated\nto America and lived until 1933.\n\t\t-- Stephen Pile, \"The Book of Heroic Failures\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20915,56,'\nThe Least Successful Police Dogs\n\tAmerica has a very strong candidate in \"La Dur\", a fearsome looking\nschnauzer hound, who was retired from the Orlando police force in Florida\nin 1978.  He consistently refused to do anything which might ruffle or\noffend the criminal classes.\n\tHis handling officer, Rick Grim, had to admit: \"He just won\'t go up\nand bite them.  I got sick and tired of doing that dog\'s work for him.\"\n\tThe British contenders in this category, however, took things a\nstage further.  \"Laddie\" and \"Boy\" were trained as detector dogs for drug\nraids.  Their employment was terminated following a raid in the Midlands in\n1967.\n\tWhile the investigating officer questioned two suspects, they\npatted and stroked the dogs who eventually fell asleep in front of the\nfire.  When the officer moved to arrest the suspects, one dog growled at\nhim while the other leapt up and bit his thigh.\n\t\t-- Stephen Pile, \"The Book of Heroic Failures\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20916,56,'\nThe less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.\n\t\t-- Kin Hubbard\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20917,56,'\nThe lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won\'t get much sleep.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20918,56,'\n\"The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as\nwe could with both of them.\"\n\t\t-- Joseph Heller, \"Catch-22\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20919,56,'\nThe majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time.  The\nterror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.\n\t\t-- Albert Einstein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20920,56,'\nThe man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd.  The\nman who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.\n\t\t-- Alan Ashley-Pitt\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20921,56,'\nThe man with the best job in the country is the Vice President.  All he has\nto do is get up every morning and say, \"How\'s the President?\"\n\t\t-- Will Rogers\n\nThe vice-presidency ain\'t worth a pitcher of warm spit.\n\t\t-- Vice President John Nance Garner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20922,56,'\nThe mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause,\nwhile the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.\n\t\t-- Wilhelm Stekel\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20923,56,'\n\tThe Minnesota Board of Education voted to consider requiring all\nstudents to do some \"volunteer work\" as a prerequisite to high school\ngraduation.\n\tSenator Orrin Hatch said that \"capital punishment is our society\'s\nrecognition of the sanctity of human life.\"\n\tAccording to the tax bill signed by President Reagan on December 22,\n1987, Don Tyson and his sister-in-law Barbara run a \"family farm.\"  Their\n\"farm\" has 25,000 employees and grosses $1.7 billion a year.  But as a \"family\nfarm\" they get tax breaks that save them $135 million a year.\n\tScott L. Pickard, spokesperson for the Massachusetts Department of\nPublic Works, calls them \"ground-mounted confirmatory route markers.\"  You\nprobably call them road signs, but then you don\'t work in a government agency.\n\tIt\'s not \"elderly\" or \"senior citizens\" anymore.  Now it\'s \"chrono-\nlogically experienced citizens.\"\n\tAccording to the FAA, the propeller blade didn\'t break off, it was\njust a case of \"uncontained blade liberation.\"\n\t\t-- Quarterly Review of Doublespeak (NCTE)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20924,56,'\nThe Moral Majority is neither.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20925,56,'\nThe more control, the more that requires control.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20926,56,'\nThe more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20927,56,'\nThe new Congressmen say they\'re going to turn the government around.  I\nhope I don\'t get run over again.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20928,56,'\nThe Official Colorado State Vegetable is now the \"state legislator\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20929,56,'\nThe only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.\n\t\t-- David Gerrold\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20930,56,'\nThe poetry of heroism appeals irresitably to those who don\'t go to a war,\nand even more so to those whom the war is making enormously wealthy.\"\n\t\t-- Celine\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20931,56,'\nThe polite thing to do has always been to address people as they wish to be\naddressed, to treat them in a way they think dignified.  But it is equally\nimportant to accept and tolerate different standards of courtesy, not\nexpecting everyone else to adapt to one\'s own preferences.  Only then can\nwe hope to restore the insult to its proper social function of expressing\ntrue distaste.\n\t\t-- Judith Martin, \"Miss Manners\' Guide to Excruciatingly\n\t\t   Correct Behavior\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20932,56,'\nThe politician is someone who deals in man\'s problems of adjustment.\nTo ask a politician to lead us is to ask the tail of a dog to lead the dog.\n\t\t-- Buckminster Fuller\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20933,56,'\nThe price of greatness is responsibility.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20934,56,'\nThe price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that someday\nthey might force their beliefs on us.\n\t\t-- Mario Cuomo\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20935,56,'\nThe primary theme of SoupCon is communication.  The acronym \"LEO\"\nrepresents the secondary theme:\n\n\tLaw Enforcement Officials\n\nThe overall theme of SoupCon shall be:\n\n\tAvoiding Communication with Law Enforcement Officials\n\t\t-- M. Gallaher\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20936,56,'\nThe problem with most conspiracy theories is that they seem to believe that\nfor a group of people to behave in a way detrimental to the common good\nrequires intent.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20937,56,'\nThe problem with this country is that there is no death penalty for\nincompetence.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20938,56,'\nThe public demands certainties;  it must be told definitely and a bit\nraucously that this is true and that is false.  But there are no certainties.\n\t\t-- H.L. Mencken, \"Prejudice\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20939,56,'\nThe public is an old woman.  Let her maunder and mumble.\n\t\t-- Thomas Carlyle\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20940,56,'\nThe Puritan hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but\nbecause it gave pleasure to the spectators.\n\t\t-- Thomas Macaulay, \"History of England\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20941,56,'\nThe question is, why are politicians so eager to be president?  What is it\nabout the job that makes it worth revealing, on national television, that\nyou have the ethical standards of a slime-coated piece of industrial waste?\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"On Presidential Politics\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20942,56,'\nThe revolution will not be televised.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20943,56,'\n\"The Right Honorable Gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests\nand to his imagination for his facts.\"\n\t\t-- Sheridan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20944,56,'\nThe rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today.\n\t\t-- Lewis Carroll\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20945,56,'\nThe scum also rises.\n\t\t-- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20946,56,'\nThe so-called lessons of history are for the most part the rationalizations\nof the victors.  History is written by the survivors.\n\t\t-- Max Lerner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20947,56,'\nThe time for action is past!  Now is the time for senseless bickering.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20948,56,'\nThe time was the 19th of May, 1780.  The place was Hartford, Connecticut.\nThe day has gone down in New England history as a terrible foretaste of\nJudgement Day.  For at noon the skies turned from blue to grey and by\nmid-afternoon had blackened over so densely that, in that religious age,\nmen fell on their knees and begged a final blessing before the end came.\nThe Connecticut House of Representatives was in session.  And, as some of\nthe men fell down and others clamored for an immediate adjournment, the\nSpeaker of the House, one Col. Davenport, came to his feet.  He silenced\nthem and said these words: \"The day of judgment is either approaching or\nit is not.  If it is not, there is no cause for adjournment.  If it is, I\nchoose to be found doing my duty.  I wish therefore that candles may be\nbrought.\"\n\t\t-- Alistair Cooke\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20949,56,'\nThe trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians\nwho believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool\nall of the people all of the time.\n\t\t-- Franklin Adams\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20950,56,'\nThe two oldest professions in the world have been ruined by amateurs.\n\t\t-- G.B. Shaw\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20951,56,'\nThe two party system ... is a triumph of the dialectic.  It showed that\ntwo could be one and one could be two and had probably been fabricated\nby Hegel for the American market on a subcontract from General Dynamics.\n\t\t-- I.F. Stone\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20952,56,'\nThe universe is ruled by letting things take their course.  It cannot be\nruled by interfering.\n\t\t-- Chinese proverb\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20953,56,'\nThe very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common.  Instead of\naltering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their\nviews ... which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the\nfacts that needs altering.\n\t\t-- Doctor Who, \"Face of Evil\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20954,56,'\n\"The wages of sin are death; but after they\'re done taking out taxes,\nit\'s just a tired feeling:\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20955,56,'\nThe way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and\nincompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.\n\t\t-- Emo Philips\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20956,56,'\nThe world\'s great men have not commonly been great scholars, nor its great\nscholars great men.\n\t\t-- Oliver Wendell Holmes\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20957,56,'\nThe Worst Bank Robbery\n\tIn August 1975 three men were on their way in to rob the Royal Bank of\nScotland at Rothesay, when they got stuck in the revolving doors.  They\nhad to be helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone,\nsheepishly left the building.\n\tA few minutes later they returned and announced their intention of\nrobbing the bank, but none of the staff believed them.  When they demanded\n5,000 pounds in cash, the head cashier laughed at them, convinced that it\nwas a practical joke.\n\tThen one of the men jumped over the counter, but fell to the floor\nclutching his ankle.  The other two tried to make their getaway, but got\ntrapped in the revolving doors again.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20958,56,'\nThe Worst Prison Guards\n\tThe largest number of convicts ever to escape simultaneously from a\nmaximum security prison is 124.  This record is held by Alcoente Prison,\nnear Lisbon in Portugal.\n\tDuring the weeks leading up to the escape in July 1978 the prison\nwarders had noticed that attendances had fallen at film shows which\nincluded \"The Great Escape\", and also that 220 knives and a huge quantity\nof electric cable had disappeared.  A guard explained, \"Yes, we were\nplanning to look for them, but never got around to it.\"  The warders had\nnot, however, noticed the gaping holes in the wall because they were\n\"covered with posters\".  Nor did they detect any of the spades, chisels,\nwater hoses and electric drills amassed by the inmates in large quantities.\nThe night before the breakout one guard had noticed that of the 36\nprisoners in his block only 13 were present.  He said this was \"normal\"\nbecause inmates sometimes missed roll-call or hid, but usually came back\nthe next morning.\n\t\"We only found out about the escape at 6:30 the next morning when\none of the prisoners told us,\" a warder said later.  [...]  When they\neventually checked, the prison guards found that exactly half of the gaol\'s\npopulation was missing.  By way of explanation the Justice Minister, Dr.\nSantos Pais, claimed that the escape was \"normal\" and part of the\n\"legitimate desire of the prisoner to regain his liberty.\"\n\t\t-- Stephen Pile, \"The Book of Heroic Failures\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20959,56,'\nThere appears to be irrefutable evidence that the mere fact of overcrowding\ninduces violence.\n\t\t-- Harvey Wheeler\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20960,56,'\nThere are a lot of lies going around.... and half of them are true.\n\t\t-- Winston Churchill\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20961,56,'\nThere are no manifestos like cannon and musketry.\n\t\t-- The Duke of Wellington\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20962,56,'\nThere are only two things in this world that I am sure of, death and\ntaxes, and we just might do something about death one of these days.\n\t\t-- shades\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20963,56,'\nThere are two kinds of fool. One says, \"This is old, and therefore good.\"\nAnd one says, \"This is new, and therefore better\"\n\t\t-- John Brunner, \"The Shockwave Rider\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20964,56,'\nThere but for the grace of God, goes God.\n\t\t-- Winston Churchill, speaking of Sir Stafford Cripps.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20965,56,'\nThere can be no daily democracy without daily citizenship.\n\t\t-- Ralph Nader\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20966,56,'\nThere cannot be a crisis next week.  My schedule is already full.\n\t\t-- Henry Kissinger\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20967,56,'\nThere is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be burned for an opinion.\n\t\t-- Anatole France\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20968,56,'\nThere is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum.\n\t\t-- Arthur C. Clarke\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20969,56,'\nThere is Jackson standing like a stone wall.  Let us determine to die,\nand we will conquer.  Follow me.\n\t\t-- General Barnard E. Bee (CSA)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20970,56,'\nThere is no act of treachery or mean-ness of which a political party\nis not capable; for in politics there is no honour.\n\t\t-- Benjamin Disraeli, \"Vivian Grey\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20971,56,'\nThere is no education that is not political.  An apolitical\neducation is also political because it is purposely isolating.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20972,56,'\nThere is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.\n\t\t-- G.B. Shaw\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20973,56,'\nThere is no security on this earth.  There is only opportunity.\n\t\t-- General Douglas MacArthur\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20974,56,'\nThere is not a man in the country that can\'t make a living for himself and\nfamily.  But he can\'t make a living for them *and* his government, too,\nthe way his government is living.  What the government has got to do is\nlive as cheap as the people.\n\t\t-- The Best of Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20975,56,'\nThere is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist --\nthe taxidermist leaves the hide.\n\t\t-- Mortimer Caplan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20976,56,'\nThere is only one way to kill capitalism -- by taxes, taxes, and more taxes.\n\t\t-- Karl Marx\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20977,56,'\nThere is perhaps in every thing of any consequence, secret history, which\nit would be amusing to know, could we have it authentically communicated.\n\t\t-- James Boswell\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20978,56,'\nThere never was a good war or a bad peace.\n\t\t-- B. Franklin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20979,56,'\nThere\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government\nworking for you.\n\t\t-- Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20980,56,'\nThere\'s nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead\narmadillos.\n\t\t-- Jim Hightower, Texas Agricultural Commissioner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20981,56,'\nThey call them \"squares\" because it\'s the most complicated shape they can\ndeal with.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20982,56,'\n\"They make a desert and call it peace.\"\n\t\t-- Tacitus (55?-120?)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20983,56,'\nThey sentenced me to twenty years of boredom for trying to change the\nsystem from within.  I\'m coming now I\'m coming to reward them.  First\nwe take Manhattan, then we take Berlin.\n\nI\'m guided by a signal in the heavens.  I\'m guided by this birthmark on\nmy skin.  I\'m guided by the beauty of our weapons.  First we take Manhattan,\nthen we take Berlin.\n\nI\'d really like to live beside you, baby.  I love your body and your spirit\nand your clothes.  But you see that line there moving through the station?\nI told you I told you I told you I was one of those.\n\t-- Leonard Cohen, \"First We Take Manhattan\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20984,56,'\n\"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary\nsafety deserve neither liberty nor safety.\"\n\t\t-- Benjamin Franklin, 1759\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20985,56,'\nThey use different words for things in America.\nFor instance they say elevator and we say lift.\nThey say drapes and we say curtains.\nThey say president and we say brain damaged git.\n\t\t-- Alexie Sayle\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20986,56,'\nThey will only cause the lower classes to move about needlessly.\n\t\t-- The Duke of Wellington, on early steam railroads.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20987,56,'\nThey\'re giving bank robbing a bad name.\n\t\t-- John Dillinger, on Bonnie and Clyde\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20988,56,'\nThieves respect property; they merely wish the property to become\ntheir property that they may more perfectly respect it.\n\t\t-- G.K. Chesterton, \"The Man Who Was Thursday\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20989,56,'\nThis is a country where people are free to practice their religion,\nregardless of race, creed, color, obesity, or number of dangling keys...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20990,56,'\n\tThompson, if he is to be believed, has sampled the entire rainbow of\nlegal and illegal drugs in heroic efforts to feel better than he does.\n\tAs for the truth about his health: I have asked around about it.  I\nam told that he appears to be strong and rosy, and steadily sane.  But we\nwill be doing what he wants us to do, I think, if we consider his exterior\na sort of Dorian Gray facade.  Inwardly, he is being eaten alive by tinhorn\npoliticians.\n\tThe disease is fatal.  There is no known cure.  The most we can do\nfor the poor devil, it seems to me, is to name his disease in his honor.\nFrom this moment on, let all those who feel that Americans can be as easily\nled to beauty as to ugliness, to truth as to public relations, to joy as to\nbitterness, be said to be suffering from Hunter Thompson\'s disease.  I don\'t\nhave it this morning.  It comes and goes.  This morning I don\'t have Hunter\nThompson\'s disease.\n\t\t-- Kurt Vonnegut Jr., on Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Excerpt\n\t\tfrom \"A Political Disease\", Vonnegut\'s review of \"Fear and\n\t\tLoathing: On the Campaign Trail \'72\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20991,56,'\n\"Those who do not do politics will be done in by politics.\"\n\t\t-- French Proverb\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20992,56,'\nThose who have had no share in the good fortunes of the mighty\nOften have a share in their misfortunes.\n\t\t-- Bertolt Brecht, \"The Caucasian Chalk Circle\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20993,56,'\nThose who have some means think that the most important thing in the\nworld is love.  The poor know that it is money.\n\t\t-- Gerald Brenan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20994,56,'\nThose who profess to favor freedom, and yet deprecate agitation, are\nmen who want rain without thunder and lightning.  They want the ocean\nwithout the roar of its many waters.\n\t\t-- Frederick Douglass\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20995,56,'\nTo be excellent when engaged in administration is to be like the North\nStar.  As it remains in its one position, all the other stars surround it.\n\t\t-- Confucius\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20996,56,'\nTo make tax forms true they should read \"Income Owed Us\" and \"Incommode You\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20997,56,'\nTo say you got a vote of confidence would be to say you needed a vote of\nconfidence.\n\t\t-- Andrew Young\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20998,56,'\nTo think contrary to one\'s era is heroism.  But to speak against it is madness.\n\t\t-- Eugene Ionesco\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (20999,56,'\nTo use violence is to already be defeated.\n\t\t-- Chinese proverb\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21000,56,'\nToday is a good day to bribe a high-ranking public official.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21001,56,'\nToo often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available\nbriefcases.\n\t\t-- Governor Jerry Brown\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21002,56,'\nTravel important today;  Internal Revenue men arrive tomorrow.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21003,56,'\nTreaties are like roses and young girls -- they last while they last.\n\t\t-- Charles DeGaulle\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21004,56,'\nTrue leadership is the art of changing a group from what it is to what\nit ought to be.\n\t\t-- Virginia Allan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21005,56,'\nTwo battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers\nin heavy weather for several days.  I was serving on the lead battleship and\nwas on watch on the bridge as night fell.  The visibility was poor with patchy\nfog, so the Captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.\n\tShortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported,\n\"Light, bearing on the starboard bow.\"\n\t\"Is it steady or moving astern?\" the Captain called out.\n\tLookout replied, \"Steady, Captain,\" which meant we were on a dangerous\ncollision course with that ship.\n\tThe Captain then called to the signalman, \"Signal that ship: We are on\na collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees.\"\n\tBack came a signal \"Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees.\"\n\tIn reply, the Captain said, \"Send: I\'m a Captain, change course 20\ndegrees!\"\n\t\"I\'m a seaman second class,\" came the reply, \"You had better change\ncourse 20 degrees.\"\n\tBy that time, the Captain was furious. He spit out, \"Send: I\'m a\nbattleship, change course 20 degrees.\"\n\tBack came the flashing light: \"I\'m a lighthouse!\"\n\tWe changed course.\n\t\t-- The Naval Institute\'s \"Proceedings\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21006,56,'\n\"Ubi non accusator, ibi non judex.\"\n\n(Where there is no police, there is no speed limit.)\n\t\t-- Roman Law, trans. Petr Beckmann (1971)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21007,56,'\nUnder a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a\njust man is also a prison.\n\t\t-- Henry David Thoreau\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21008,56,'\nUnder any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some\nordinance under which you can be booked.\n\t\t-- Robert D. Sprecht, Rand Corp.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21009,56,'\nUnder capitalism, man exploits man.  Under communism, it\'s just the opposite.\n\t\t-- J.K. Galbraith\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21010,56,'\nUnder every stone lurks a politician.\n\t\t-- Aristophanes\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21011,56,'\nUnited Nations, New York, December 25.  The peace and joy of the Christmas\nseason was marred by a proclamation of a general strike of all the military\nforces of the world.  Panic reigns in the hearts of all the patriots of\nevery persuasion.  Meanwhile, fears of universal disaster sank to an all-time\nlow over the world.\n\t\t-- Isaac Asimov\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21012,56,'\nUnknown person(s) stole the American flag from its pole in Etra Park sometime\nbetween 3pm Jan 17 and 11:30 am Jan 20.  The flag is described as red, white\nand blue, having 50 stars and was valued at $40.\n\t\t-- Windsor-Heights Herald \"Police Blotter\", Jan 28, 1987\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21013,56,'\nUnquestionably, there is progress.  The average American now pays out\ntwice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.\n\t\t-- H. L. Mencken\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21014,56,'\nUsually, when a lot of men get together, it\'s called a war.\n\t\t-- Mel Brooks, \"The Listener\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21015,56,'\nVeni, vidi, vici.\n\t[I came, I saw, I conquered].\n\t\t-- Gaius Julius Caesar\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21016,56,'\nVery few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen\nat all.  The conscientious historian will correct these defects.\n\t\t-- Herodotus\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21017,56,'\nVictory uber allies!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21018,56,'\n\"Violence accomplishes nothing.\"  What a contemptible lie!  Raw, naked\nviolence has settled more issues throughout history than any other method\never employed.  Perhaps the city fathers of Carthage could debate the\nissue, with Hitler and Alexander as judges?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21019,56,'\nViolence is a sword that has no handle -- you have to hold the blade.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21020,56,'\nViolence is molding.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21021,56,'\nViolence is the last refuge of the incompetent.\n\t\t-- Salvor Hardin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21022,56,'\nVote anarchist.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21023,56,'\nWar doesn\'t prove who\'s right, just who\'s left.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21024,56,'\nWar hath no fury like a non-combatant.\n\t\t-- Charles Edward Montague\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21025,56,'\nWar is an equal opportunity destroyer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21026,56,'\nWar is delightful to those who have had no experience of it.\n\t\t-- Desiderius Erasmus\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21027,56,'\nWar is like love, it always finds a way.\n\t\t-- Bertolt Brecht, \"Mother Courage\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21028,56,'\nWar is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.\n\t\t-- Clemenceau\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21029,56,'\nWar is peace.  Freedom is slavery.  Ketchup is a vegetable.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21030,56,'\nWar spares not the brave, but the cowardly.\n\t\t-- Anacreon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21031,56,'\n[Washington, D.C.] is the home of... taste for the people -- the big,\nthe bland and the banal.\n\t\t-- Ada Louise Huxtable\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21032,56,'\nWashington, D.C: Fifty square miles almost completely surrounded by reality.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21033,56,'\nWe all declare for liberty, but in using the same word we do not all mean\nthe same thing.\n\t\t-- A. Lincoln\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21034,56,'\nWe are all born equal... just some of us are more equal than others.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21035,56,'\nWe are all worms.  But I do believe I am a glowworm.\n\t\t-- Winston Churchill\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21036,56,'\nWe cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.\n\t\t-- Calvin Coolidge\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21037,56,'\nWe have not inherited the earth from our parents, we\'ve borrowed it from\nour children.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21038,56,'\n... we must not judge the society of the future by considering whether or not\nwe should like to live in it; the question is whether those who have grown up\nin it will be happier than those who have grown up in our society or those of\nthe past.\n\t\t-- Joseph Wood Krutch\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21039,56,'\nWe should be glad we\'re living in the time that we are.  If any of us had been\nborn into a more enlightened age, I\'m sure we would have immediately been taken\nout and shot.\n\t\t-- Strange de Jim\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21040,56,'\nWe should have a great many fewer disputes in the world if only words were\ntaken for what they are, the signs of our ideas only, and not for things\nthemselves.\n\t\t-- John Locke\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21041,56,'\nWe should have a Vollyballocracy.  We elect a six-pack of presidents.\nEach one serves until they screw up, at which point they rotate.\n\t\t-- Dennis Miller\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21042,56,'\nWe the unwilling, led by the ungrateful, are doing the impossible.\nWe\'ve done so much, for so long, with so little,\nthat we are now qualified to do something with nothing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21043,56,'\nWe totally deny the allegations, and we\'re trying to identify the allegators.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21044,56,'\nWe tried to close Ohio\'s borders and ran into a Constitutional problem.\nThere\'s a provision in the Constitution that says you can\'t close your\nborders to interstate commerce, and garbage is a form of interstate commerce.\n\t\t-- Ohio Lt. Governor Paul Leonard\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21045,56,'\nWe\'ll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel\na strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21046,56,'\nWell, don\'t worry about it...  It\'s nothing.\n\t\t-- Lieutenant Kermit Tyler (Duty Officer of Shafter Information\n\t\t   Center, Hawaii), upon being informed that Private Joseph\n\t\t   Lockard had picked up a radar signal of what appeared to be\n\t\t   at least 50 planes soaring toward Oahu at almost 180 miles\n\t\t   per hour, December 7, 1941.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21047,56,'\nWell, he didn\'t know what to do, so he decided to look at the government,\nto see what they did, and scale it down and run his life that way.\n\t\t-- Laurie Anderson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21048,56,'\nWhat a strange game.  The only winning move is not to play.\n\t\t-- WOP, \"War Games\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21049,56,'\nWhat does it take for Americans to do great things; to go to the moon, to\nwin wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to build railroads across a continent?\nIn independent thought about this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded\nthat it takes a coincidence of four conditions, or in Neil\'s view, the\nsimultaneous peaking of four of the many cycles of American life.  First, a\nbase of technology must exist from which to do the thing to be done.  Second,\na period of national uneasiness about America\'s place in the scheme of human\nactivities must exist.  Third, some catalytic event must occur that focuses\nthe national attention upon the direction to proceed.  Finally, an articulate\nand wise leader must sense these first three conditions and put forth with\nwords and action the great thing to be accomplished.  The motivation of young\nAmericans to do what needs to be done flows from such a coincidence of\nconditions. ...  The Thomas Jeffersons, The Teddy Roosevelts, The John\nKennedys appear.  We must begin to create the tools of leadership which they,\nand their young frontiersmen, will require to lead us onward and upward.\n\t\t-- Dr. Harrison H. Schmidt\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21050,56,'\n\"What George Washington did for us was to throw out the British, so that we\nwouldn\'t have a fat, insensitive government running our country. Nice try\nanyway, George.\"\n\t\t-- D.J. on KSFO/KYA\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21051,56,'\nWhat I want is all of the power and none of the responsibility.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21052,56,'\nWhat is status?\n\tStatus is when the President calls you for your opinion.\n\nUh, no...\n\tStatus is when the President calls you in to discuss a\n\tproblem with him.\n\nUh, that still ain\'t right...\n\tSTATUS is when you\'re in the Oval Office talking to the President,\n\tand the phone rings.  The President picks it up, listens for a\n\tminute, and hands it to you, saying, \"It\'s for you.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21053,56,'\nWhat is the robbing of a bank compared to the founding of a bank?\n\t\t-- Bertold Brecht\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21054,56,'\nWhat is the sound of one hand clapping?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21055,56,'\nWhat orators lack in depth they make up in length.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21056,56,'\nWhat we need is either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21057,56,'\nWhat\'s a cult?  It just means not enough people to make a minority.\n\t\t-- Robert Altman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21058,56,'\nWhen a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself as public\nproperty.\n\t\t-- Thomas Jefferson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21059,56,'\nWhen a place gets crowded enough to require ID\'s, social collapse is not\nfar away.  It is time to go elsewhere.  The best thing about space travel\nis that it made it possible to go elsewhere.\n\t\t-- R.A. Heinlein, \"Time Enough For Love\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21060,56,'\nWhen a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog along to see\nthe sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes.  The dog has certain\nrelationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten.\n\t\t-- Robert Pirsig, \"Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21061,56,'\nWhen asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before\nthe white men came, an Indian said simply \"Ours.\"\n\t\t-- Vine Deloria, Jr.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21062,56,'\nWhen I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced\nto death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.\n\t\t-- Brendan Behan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21063,56,'\nWhen I hear a man applauded by the mob I always feel a pang of pity\nfor him.  All he has to do to be hissed is to live long enough.\n\t\t-- H.L. Mencken, \"Minority Report\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21064,56,'\nWhen I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President.  Now\nI\'m beginning to believe it.\n\t\t-- Clarence Darrow\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21065,56,'\nWhen in doubt, do what the President does -- guess.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21066,56,'\nWhen neither their poverty nor their honor is touched, the majority of men\nlive content.\n\t\t-- Niccolo Machiavelli\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21067,56,'\nWhen smashing monuments, save the pedstals -- they always come in handy.\n\t\t-- Stanislaw J. Lem, \"Unkempt Thoughts\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21068,56,'\nWhen some people decide it\'s time for everyone to make big changes,\nit means that they want you to change first.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21069,56,'\nWhen taxes are due, Americans tend to feel quite bled-white and blue.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21070,56,'\nWhen the government bureau\'s remedies don\'t match your problem, you modify\nthe problem, not the remedy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21071,56,'\nWhen the revolution comes, count your change.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21072,56,'\nWhen we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is\nnot hereditary.\n\t\t-- Thomas Paine\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21073,56,'\nWhen we jumped into Sicily, the units became separated, and I couldn\'t find\nanyone.  Eventually I stumbled across two colonels, a major, three captains,\ntwo lieutenants, and one rifleman, and we secured the bridge.  Never in the\nhistory of war have so few been led by so many.\n\t\t-- General James Gavin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21074,56,'\nWhen you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve\npeople who weren\'t smart enough to get out of jury duty.\n\t\t-- Norm Crosby\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21075,56,'\nWhen you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.\n\t\t-- Harry Truman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21076,56,'\nWhen you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.\n\t\t-- Winston Churchill, on formal declarations of war\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21077,56,'\nWhen you live in a sick society, just about everything you do is wrong.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21078,56,'\nWhen you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that\nyou have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.\n\t\t-- Otto Von Bismarck\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21079,56,'\nWhen you\'re in command, command.\n\t\t-- Admiral Nimitz\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21080,56,'\nWhenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to\nsee it tried on him personally.\n\t\t-- Abraham Lincoln\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21081,56,'\nWhere the system is concerned, you\'re not allowed to ask \"Why?\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21082,56,'\nWhere you stand depends on where you sit.\n\t\t-- Rufus Miles, HEW\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21083,56,'\nWhy bother building any more nuclear warheads until we use the ones we have?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21084,56,'\nWhy can\'t you be a non-conformist like everyone else?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21085,56,'\nWhy don\'t somebody print the truth about our present economic condition?\nWe spent years of wild buying on credit, everything under the sun, whether\nwe needed it or not, and now we are having to pay for it, howling like a\npet coon.  This would be a great world to dance in if we didn\'t have to\npay the fiddler.\n\t\t-- The Best of Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21086,56,'\n\tWill Rogers, having paid too much income tax one year, tried in\nvain to claim a rebate.  His numerous letters and queries remained\nunanswered.  Eventually the form for the next year\'s return arrived.  In\nthe section marked \"DEDUCTIONS,\" Rogers listed: \"Bad debt, US Government\n-- $40,000.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21087,56,'\n\t... with liberty and justice for all ... who can afford it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21088,56,'\nWith reasonable men I will reason;\nwith humane men I will plead;\nbut to tyrants I will give no quarter.\n\t\t-- William Lloyd Garrison\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21089,56,'\nWorkers of the world, arise!  You have nothing to lose but your chairs.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21090,56,'\nWorld tensions have, if anything, increased in the quarter century since\nH.G. Wells uttered his glum warning: \"There is no more evil thing on\nearth than race prejudice, none at all.  I write deliberately -- it is\nthe worst single thing in life now.  It justifies and holds together more\nbaseness, cruelty and abomination than any other sort of error in the world.\"\n\t\t-- Sydney Harris\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21091,56,'\nWorld War Three can be averted by adherence to a strictly enforced dress code!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21092,56,'\n\t\"Wrong,\" said Renner.\n\t\"The tactful way,\" Rod said quietly, \"the polite way to disagree with\nthe Senator would be to say, `That turns out not to be the case.\'\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21093,56,'\nYou can have peace.  Or you can have freedom. Don\'t ever count on having\nboth at once.\n\t\t-- Lazarus Long\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21094,56,'\nYou first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form. The\nshort form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls \"simplified\", which\nmeans it is designed for people who need the help of a Sears tax-preparation\nexpert to distinguish between their first and last names.  Here\'s the\ncomplete text:\n\n\"(1) How much did you make?  (AMOUNT)\n(2) How much did we here at the government take out?  (AMOUNT)\n(3) Hey!  Sounds like we took too much!  So we\'re going to\n     send an official government check for (ONE-FIFTEENTH OF\n     THE AMOUNT WE TOOK) directly to the (YOUR LAST NAME)\n     household at (YOUR ADDRESS), for you to spend in any way\n     you please! Which just goes to show you, (YOUR FIRST\n     NAME), that it pays to file the short form!\"\n\nThe IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your\nmoney.  So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Sweating Out Taxes\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21095,56,'\nYou have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice,\nbad breeding, and a vulgar manner.\n\t\t-- Aristophanes\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21096,56,'\nYou must include all income you receive in the form of money, property\nand services if it is not specifically exempt.  Report property (goods)\nand services at their fair market values.  Examples include income from\nbartering or swapping transactions, side commissions, kickbacks, rent\npaid in services, illegal activities (such as stealing, drugs, etc.),\ncash skimming by proprietors and tradesmen, \"moonlighting\" services,\ngambling, prizes and awards.  Not reporting such income can lead to\nprosecution for perjury and fraud.\n\t\t-- Excerpt from Taxachussetts income tax forms\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21097,56,'\nYou roll my log, and I will roll yours.\n\t\t-- Lucius Annaeus Seneca\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21098,56,'\nYou should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for\nfreedom and liberty.\n\t\t-- Henrik Ibsen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21099,57,'A certain bartender decided to try to get a few new customers into his bar\nby starting a gimmick involving a horse.  His claim was that if anyone could\nget the horse to laugh, he would give them drinks on the house.  The idea\nworked well and business improved until one night a young man walked in and\nwhispered in the horse\'s ear.  The horse immediately burst into hysterical\nlaughter and the man won the contest.  The next night the same thing\nhappened: the man whispered in the horse\'s ear and the horse burst out\nlaughing.  The next night, the bartender decided to change the rules.  Now,\na person had to get the horse to cry in order to win the drinks on the\nhouse.  Later on that night, the same guy came in and said \"Can I take the\nhorse into the bathroom for a minute?  I promise I\'ll make him cry.\"  The\nbartender agreed and sure enough, when the man came out leading the horse,\nthe horse was crying his eyes out.  The bartender could take it no more and\nsaid, \"How did you make him laugh the other two nights?\"\n\t\"I told him that my dick was bigger than his\", replied the man.\n\t\"How did you make him cry tonight?\"\n\t\"I proved it.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21100,57,'\nA child can go only so far in life without potty training.  It is not\nmere coincidence that six of the last seven presidents were potty\ntrained, not to mention nearly half of the nation\'s state legislators.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21101,57,'\nA couple took their young son for his first visit to the circus, and by\nchance their seats were next to the elephant pen.  When his father left\nto buy popcorn, the boy piped up,\n\t\"Mom, what\'s that long thing on the elephant?\"\n\t\"That\'s the elephant\'s trunk, dear,\" she replied.\n\t\"No, not that.\"\n\t\"Oh, that\'s the elephant\'s tail.\"\n\t\"No, Mom.  Down underneath.\"\n\tHis mother blushed and said, \"Oh, that\'s nothing.\"\n\tPretty soon the father returned, and the mother went off to get\na soda.  As soon as she had left the boy repeated his question.\n\t\"That\'s the elephant\'s trunk, son.\"\n\t\"Dad, I know what an elephant\'s trunk is.  The thing at the\nother end.\"\n\t\"Oh, that\'s the elephant\'s tail.\"\n\t\"No.  Down there.\"\n\tThe father took a good look and explained, \"That\'s the elephant\'s\npenis.\"\n\t\"Dad, how come when I asked Mom, she said it was nothing?\"\n\tThe man took a deep breath and replied, \"Son, I\'ve *spoiled*\nthat woman.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21102,57,'\nA cowboy, his horse and his dog were captured by hostile Indians.\nThis wasn\'t really a problem for the animals as the Indians can always use\nthem, but the cowboy is informed that he will be burned at the stake the\nfollowing sunrise.  That evening, the Indian chief tells the cowboy that\nhe can one last wish, within reason, of course, before meeting his fate\nthe following morning.  The cowboy replies that all he really wants is to\nsee his faithful dog, Rex, one last time.  When the dog is brought by the\nIndians, the cowboy hugs his companion and whispers something into his ear.\nAt once the dog runs off over the hill.  Amazingly enough, a few hours later,\nhe returns, accompanied by some two dozen prostitutes from a nearby town.\nNeedless to say, the braves are delighted and as a reward offer the cowboy\nhis dog to keep him company through the rest of the night.  When the dog is\nbrought forth the cowboy again runs his hand over Rex\'s head and then bends\ndown to whisper into his ear: \"This may be my last chance, Rex, so get it\nright this time -- go into town and get the posse!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21103,57,'\nA figure with curves always offers a lot of interesting angles.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21104,57,'\n\tA great American Olympic wrestler was receiving last-minute advice\nfrom his coach about the upcoming match with the Soviet Champion.\n \t\"This Russian guy is really good, very strong and quick.  But I think\nyou can take him.  Remember, though, like I\'ve told you before, don\'t let\nhim get you in the Pretzel hold.  With his strength you\'d never get out.\"\n\tThe American leaps onto the mat, and within moments the two behemoths\nare going crazy, struggling to get each other pinned.  The American slowly\ngains ground and appears that he might actually win on points alone, when, in\nthe blink of an eye, the Russian reverses him and whips him into the fatal\nPretzel hold.\n\tThe coach, off by the side, shakes his head in dismay, and sits down\non the bench with his head between his hands.  All of a sudden, there\'s a\nscream and the two wrestlers fly apart, the American regaining control and\npinning the Russian.  After the match, in the dressing room, the coach\nfinally gets the winner alone.  \"Great job!  But how the hell did you get out\nof the Pretzel Hold?  I thought it was over for sure!\"\n \t\"Well, I did too.  I was in the hold, about to be pinned, when I saw\nthis huge pair of testicles hanging right in front of my eyes.  I figured\nwhat the hell, so I stretched forward and bit them as hard as I could.  Coach,\nyou just don\'t know your own strength \'til you\'ve bitten your own balls!\"\n');

INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21106,57,'\nA man is talking to his wife when he mentions that there\'s a \"Big Dick\"\ncontest at one of the bars in town and the prize for the winner is $1000.\n\t\"Oh, honey,\" she exclaims, \"I don\'t want you taking that thing\nout in public!\"\n\t\"But baby,\" he says, \"$1000 is a lot of money.\"\n\t\"I don\'t care!\" she says, stamping her foot.  \"I don\'t want you\nshowing that thing to everybody.\"\n\tAnd the subject isn\'t mentioned again, until the following evening\nwhen he hands her $1000.\n\t\"Did you enter the contest, even after I told you I didn\'t want\nyou to?\" she asks.\n\t\"Please forgive me, turtle dove,\" he says.  \"I thought we could use\nthe money.\"\n\t\"You mean you took that thing out for everybody to see?\" she says,\ntears welling up in her eyes.\n\t\"Only enough to win, honey, only enough to win.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21107,57,'\n\tA man walks into a bar with a Leprechaun on his shoulder.  He walks\nup to the bar and sits down, ordering a beer for himself and one for the\nlittle Leprechaun.\n\tAfter a few beers, the Leprechaun jumps down off the guy\'s shoulder,\nstruts down the bar and comes to a stop in front of a rather large construction\nworker.  Looking the guy right in the eye, he gives him a rather large, damp,\nBronx cheer.  And trots back to sit on his buddy\'s shoulder.  The worker is\npretty upset, but decides to shine on this rather offensive breach of manners.\n\tAfter another beer and a half though, the Leprechaun hops down and\nwalks over to his previous victim and goes \"PPPPHHHHHHHBBBBTTTTTT\" again.\nWell, that\'s too much, and the victim knocks the Leprechaun off the bar and,\nafter walking over to stand very close to the Leprechaun\'s escort, tells him\nin a rather overloud voice, that if it happens again, he\'s going to \"cut off\nhis little dick!\"\n\tReplies the escort, \"Leprechauns don\'t have dicks.\"\n\t\"Yeah?  Well, then,\" asks the big man, how does he take a piss?\"\n\t\"PPPPHHHHHHHBBBBTTTTTT!!!!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21108,57,'\nA man walks into the doctor\'s office and the doctor says to him, \"I\'ve got\nsome good news and some bad news.\"\n\t\"Tell me the good news first\" the patient replies.\n\t\"The good news is that your penis is going to be about two inches\nlonger and about an inch wider,\" the doctor says.\n\t\"That\'s great!\" says his patient.  \"What\'s the bad news?\"\n\t\"Malignant.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21109,57,'\nA man went to a doctor to have his penis enlarged.  Well, this \nparticular procedure involved splicing a baby elephant\'s trunk onto the \nman\'s penis.  Overjoyed, the man went out with his best girl to a very \nfancy restaurant.  After cocktails, the man\'s penis crept out of his pants, \nfelt around the table, grabbed a hard roll and quickly disappeared under \nthe tablecloth.  The girl was startled and exclaimed, \"What was that?\"\n\tSuddenly the penis came back, took another hard roll and just as\nquickly disappeared.  The girl was silent for a moment, then finally said,\n\"I don\'t believe I saw what I think I just saw... can you do that again?\"\n\tWith a bit of an uncomfortable smile the man replied, \"Honey, I\'d\nlike to, but I don\'t think my ass can take another hard roll!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21110,57,'\nA man with no arms walked into a bar and asked for a beer.  The bartender\nshoved the foaming glass in front of him.\n\t\"Look,\" said the customer, \"I have no arms -- would you please hold\nthe glass for me?\n\t\"Sure,\" said the bartender.\n\t\"If,\" said the customer, \"you\'ll reach in my right hand coat pocket,\nyou\'ll find the money for the beer.\"\n\tThe bartender got the money and rang up the bill.\n\t\"You\'ve been very kind,\" said the customer. \"Just one thing more.\nWhere is the men\'s room?\"\n\t\"Up the street to the light,\" said the bartender, \"turn left, walk\ntwo blocks, and there\'s a gas station on the corner.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21111,57,'\nA man\'s father is very, very old, and the son can\'t afford very good treatment\nfor him, so he\'s in a rather shabby, run-down nursing home.  One day the son\nwins a lottery -- and the first thing he does is install his father in the best\nold age home that money can buy.\n\tOn the first day the old man is sitting watching TV, and he starts\nto lean a little bit to one side.  Right away a nurse runs over and gently\nstraightens the old man.  A little later he\'s eating dinner, and when he\nfinishes, he begins to tip a little bit to one side.  Another nurse runs\nover and gently pushes him upright again.\n\tThe son visits his father later that evening and asks him how he\'s\nbeing treated.\n\t\"It\'s a wonderful place, son,\" replies the father.  \"I really like\nit here, gourmet food, color TV\'s in every room, the service is unbelievable,\nthere\'s just one little problem.\"\n\t\"What\'s that, Dad?\"\n\t\"They won\'t let you fart.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21112,57,'\nA mouse was sniffing around in a meadow, when an eagle swooped down,\nswallowed him whole, and rose up in the air again.  The mouse worked\nhis way through until his head was sticking out of the bird\'s asshole.\n\t\"Say, good buddy,\" he squeaked, \"how high up are we, anyway?\"\n\t\"Oh, about two thousand feet,\" answered the eagle.\n\tThe mouse\'s eyes bugged out.  \"Hey, you wouldn\'t shit me, would you?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21113,57,'\nA proctologist is a doctor who puts in a hard day at the orifice.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21114,57,'\nA son takes his Italian immigrant father to his first baseball game.  It\nhappens that it\'s Old Timer\'s Day at Yankee stadium and all the baseball\ngreats are there.  The son escorts his father to box seats right on the\nthird base line and seats him with beer and a Yankees cap.\n\tThe first batter up is Mickey Mantle.  On the second pitch he\nswings that bat and CRACK!  The ball ricochets off the wall for a double.\nThe crowd goes crazy and the father stands up and yells, \"Runna Mickey!\nRunna Mickey!\"\n\tThe next batter up is Joe DiMaggio.  The pitcher, pitching him\ncarefully, works him to a 3-2 count and just misses the outside corner.\n\t\"Ball four!\" yells the umpire and Joe tosses his bat aside and begins\nto walk to first base.\n\tThe father yells out, \"Runna Joe!  Runna Joe!\"\n\t\"No, no, Pop,\" corrects his son.  \"He got four balls.  He walks.\"\n\tAnd the old man clenches his fist and says solemnly, \"Walka proud\nJoe.  Walka proud.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21115,57,'\nA stately-looking matron was walking through the Bronx Zoo, studying the\nanimals.  When she passed the porcupine enclosure she beckoned to a nearby\nattendant.\n\t\"Young man,\" she began, \"do North American porcupines have sharper\npricks than those raised in Africa?\"\n\tThe attendant hesitated for a moment.  \"Well, ma\'am,\" he answered,\n\"the African porcupine\'s quills are sharper... but I think their pricks are \nabout the same.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21116,57,'\nA traveling circus was performing in a small town, around the turn of the\ncentury, when many of the circus animals were still considered to be very\nrare and exotic.  One night one of the elephants escaped.  It was hungry\nand found a garden in a little old lady\'s backyard.  The woman, who had\nnever before seen an elephant, was hysterical and called the police.\n\nLittle Old Lady:  \"There\'s a *huge* monster in my garden!\nPolice:\t\"Calm down, ma\'am, everything will be all right.  Now exactly what\n\tdoes it look like?\"\nLOL:\t\"It\'s a dark color and it\'s tremendous!  It\'s pulling up my\n\tvegetables with its tail!\"\nPolice:\t\"With its tail?  Then what\'s it doing?\"\nLOL:\t\"You wouldn\'t believe me if I told you!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21117,57,'\n\tA white man was traveling with Indian (American) out West.  The\nIndian stops, puts his ear to the ground, and says, \"Buffalo come.\"\n\tThe white man looks around in all directions, sees nothing for\nmiles and asks the Indian how the hell he knows that.\n\tReplies the Indian, \"Ear wet.\"\n\t\t-- Lily Tomlin, \"The Search for Signs of Intelligent\n\t\t   Life in the Universe\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21118,57,'\nA woman had a followup visit with her doctor after his prescribing fairly high\ndosages of testosterone (a male hormone) for her.  She was a little worried\nabout some of the side effects she was experiencing.\n\t\"Doctor Keyes, the hormones you\'ve been giving me have helped a lot\nwith my menopausal symptoms, but I\'m really afraid that you\'re giving me too\nmuch.  I\'ve started growing hair in places that I\'ve never grown hair before!\"\n\tThe doctor reassured her. \"A little hair growth is a perfectly normal\nside effect of testosterone.  Just where has this hair appeared?\"\n\t\"On my balls.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21119,57,'\nA young boy is told by his puritanical father than he should never have\nsex with a woman, because a woman has teeth in her vagina and will bite\noff his penis.\n\tThe years go by, and the boy finally marries.  After a rather\nuninspiring honeymoon his wife finally confronts him and demands that he\ntell her why he won\'t make love to her.\n\t\"Well, honey,\" he replies.  \"You have... teeth... down there.\"\n\t\"What!?\" she replies unbelievingly.  \"No I don\'t!  Honest, darling,\ncome here and look for yourself.\"\n\tThe man rather hesitantly examines her very thoroughly.\n\t\"There!\" his wife says triumphantly.  \"Now do you believe me?\"\n\t\"Yes,\" replied her husband.  \"And your gums are in *terrible*\ncondition.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21120,57,'\nA young lady friend of mine just swallowed a razor blade...\nShe performed a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy,\nthree circumcisions, and cut off the finger of a casual friend.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21121,57,'\nAdopting the metric system would have certain psychological advantages --\nsuch as being able to claim 18 centimeters instead of seven inches.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21122,57,'\nAll jobs should be open to everybody, unless they actually require a\npenis or a vagina.\n\t\t-- Florynce Kennedy\n\nThere are really not many jobs that actually require a penis\nor a vagina, and all other occupations should be open to everyone.\n\t\t-- Gloria Steinem\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21123,57,'\nAn old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the\nremains of her cat.  As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the\ndriver, \"I have a dead pussy.\"\n\nThe driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, \"Sit\nwith my wife.  You two have a lot in common.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21124,57,'\nAnd now, the Bing Crosby show, brought to you by the makers of Ex-Lax.\n... a brief pause, and then Bing!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21125,57,'\nAnything more than three shakes is for fun.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21126,57,'\nBuild a better mousetrap, the saying goes -- and with the brassiere, Yankee \nIngenuity did exactly that.  But their true stroke of genius was the new bait.\nThe old fashioned mousetrap was loaded with cheese; nobody cares much about \ncheese, except mice.  But when American know-how reloaded the brassiere with \ntits, every heterosexual male in the country was hopelessly trapped.\n\t\t-- Alan Sherman, \"The Rape of the A*P*E*\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21127,57,'\nCaptain Hook died of jock itch.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21128,57,'\n\"Carefully study these two enlarged photographs on display, Mr. Rafferty,\"\nthe attorney for a politician suing a newspaper for libel instructed his\nclient on the witness stand, \"and indicate which is your ass and which is\na hole in the ground.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21129,57,'\nCrito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?\n\t\t-- Socrates\' last words\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21130,57,'\nDesperate about the state of her social life, a young woman resorted\nto the Personal Ads in the back of her local paper.  In the ad she made it\nquite clear that what she was advertising for was an expert lover; she already\nhad plenty of sensitive friends and meaningful relationships and what she\nnow wanted was to get laid, to put it bluntly.  Phone calls started coming\nin, with each caller testifying to his sexual prowess, but none quite struck \nthe young woman\'s fancy.  Until one night her doorbell rang.  Opening the door \nshe found a man with no arms or legs, who informed her that he was there in \nresponse to her advertisement.  \"I\'m terribly sorry,\" she stammered, \"but my \nad was quite explicit.  I\'m really looking for something of a sexual expert, \nand you... uh... don\'t have all the...\"\n\n\"Listen,\" the man interrupted her, \"I rang the doorbell, didn\'t I?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21131,57,'\nDiet Mountain Dew has the same pH and density of urine.\n\t\t-- Newsweek, 31 July, 1989\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21132,57,'\nDue to a mixup in urology, orange juice will not be served this morning.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21133,57,'\nEat prune yogurt for that \"get up and go\" feeling.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21134,57,'\n\tEver thought of putting a ferret down your pants?  Yes, ferrets,\nthose weasel-like animals originally trained to hunt rats and possessing\nneedle sharp claws and razor sharp teeth.  The English do it for sport.\n\tFerret Legging involves the tying of a competitors\'s trousers at\nthe ankles and then dropping into the trousers a couple of vicious ferrets.\nNo jockstraps or underwear allowed -- nothing but the bodies\' own.  The\nferrets must be young and in good condition.  Neither the ferret or the\ncontestant may be drugged or drunk -- cold eyed sober only.  The trousers\nshould be loose fitting, to allow the ferret to scramble from one leg to\nthe other, and are traditionally white, so that the blood shows better.\n\tNormal contestants are able to keep them down for up to 40 seconds.\nThe champion ferret legger, Reg Mellor, of Yorkshire, holds the world record\nof 5 hours and 26 minutes.  Mr. Mellor\'s claims that being the champion is\nnot so much heroism but, \"You just got to be able to have your tool bitten\nand not care.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21135,57,'\nFat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside.  You had an arse full\nof farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows,\nlong windy ones, quick little merry cracks...\n\t\t-- James Joyce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21136,57,'\nFour men had been playing golf together for twenty years.  After their usual\nSaturday game one week, one of the men joined the other three for a post-game\nshower for the first time.  His friends were surprised - \"For twenty years\",\none of them says, \"you haven\'t showered after our game, you\'ve just waited for\nus in the clubhouse.  Why the sudden change?\"\n\t\"Well\", replies their friend, \"I was born with a fairly unusual\nmedical condition.  I had both a penis and a vagina.  Last month I finally\ndecided to have the vagina removed.\"\n\tThe other three men look at him in disbelief and disgust.  \"You\nmean,\" snaps one of them, \"you could have played from the women\'s tee all\nthese years?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21137,57,'\nFrom the outset, the blind date was a fiasco and it was intensified by the\nfact that the fellow was too insensitive and ego-ridden to realize it.  The\nmoment of truth came in the supper club as he clutched the girl\'s thigh and\nwhispered,\n\t\"Baby, how\'s about our cutting out to my pad so I can slip you nine\ninches?\"\nThere was a moment of silence, and then the girl said,\n\t\"You know, I really don\'t think you could get it up three times\nin a row!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21138,57,'\nGood day for water sports.  Take a bath with a friend.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21139,57,'\nGrownups are reluctant to take science fiction seriously, and with good\nreason: sci-fi is a hormonal activity, not a literary one.  Its traditional\nconcerns are all pubescent.  Secondary sexual characteristics are everywhere,\ndisguised.  Aliens have tentacles.  Telepathy allows you to have sex without\nany nasty inconvenience of touching.  Womblike spaceships provide balanced\nmeals.  No one ever has to grow old -- body parts are replaceable, like\nJob\'s daughters, and if you\'re lucky you can become a robot.  As for the\nadult world, it\'s simply not there; political systems tend to be naively\nauthoritarian (there are more lords in science fiction than on public\ntelevision) and are often ruled by young boys on quests.  The most popular\nsci-fi book in years, Frank Herbert\'s Dune, sold millions of copies by\ncombining all these themes: it ends with its adolescent hero conquering the\nuniverse while straddling a giant worm.\n\t\t-- Arnold Klein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21140,57,'\nHalf the posts to this group are about masturbation and the other half\nare about penis size.  And what I want to know is, if all you\'re doing\nis jerking off, why do you care how big it is?\n\t\t-- From alt.sex\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21141,57,'\nHalt!!  Who goes there, friend or enema?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21142,57,'\nHarry came into work on Monday feeling absolutely fine, and so was astonished\nwhen his secretary urged him to lie down on the sofa; even more so when his\nboss took one look at him and ordered him to take the day, if not the week,\noff.  Even his poker buddies wouldn\'t have anything to do with him, insisting\nthat he go straight to bed.  Finally, tired of resisting everyone\'s advice,\nhe went to see his doctor, who took one look at him and rushed over with\na stretcher.\n\t\"But doctor,\" he protested, \"I feel fine.\"\nWell, this was a puzzler, conceded the doctor, who proceeded to refer to the\nenormous reference tomes behind his desk, muttering to himself.\n\t\"Looks good, feels good...  No, you look like hell.  Looks good,\nfeels terrible...  Nah, you feel fine, right?\"\nThumbing furiously through another volume, he said,\n\t\"Looks terrible, feels terrible...  Nope, that won\'t do it either.\"\nFinally, \"Looks terrible, feels terrific... Aha!!  You\'re a vagina!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21143,57,'\nHe carried me over the stream, striding through the current, his strong,\nmuscular, thighs scarcely hesitating as he sure-footedly forded the water.\nBut what was that bulge, small, oblong, solid, that might have been, say,\na pocket camera?\n\t\t-- An Exciting Journey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21144,57,'\nHe who farts in church must sit in his own pew.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21145,57,'\nHer figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest\nin a yak.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21146,57,'\nHOW TO REMOVE STAINS -- #28\n\tSemen stains can be removed from computer terminals with\n\tFantastik or the like.  Use Windex on the glass however, and\n\tbe sure to turn the power off if you have to clean between\n\tthe keys.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21147,57,'\nI can\'t believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest.\n\t\t-- Steven Pearl\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21148,57,'\nI choked Linda Lovelace.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21149,57,'\nI continued wetting my bed for a long time, not just out of contrariness,\nbut to have the pleasure of feeling my warm urine running down my legs\nand wallowing in its odor.\n\t\t-- Salvador Dali\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21150,57,'\n\tI don\'t want to say that she had big tits, but one day I asked her\njust how big they was, and she said, \"7 and 7/8\".\n\tI said, \"7 and 7/8?!  What did you measure \'em with?\"\n\tAnd she replied, \"A Stetson.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21151,57,'\nI know what you\'re up to, you white-feathered fiend!\nGo release your bowels on some lesser personage!\n\t\t-- W.C. Fields, upon seeing a bird overhead\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21152,57,'\n\"I need a camel that can go without water for at least three weeks,\"\nthe American said to an Algerian camel merchant.  \"Is it possible?\"\n\t\"All things are possible,\" replied the merchant.  He proceeded to\ntake a camel out of his barn and lead him to a tank of water.  After the\ncamel had drunk its fill and was about to lift its head out of the tank,\nthe merchant picked up two nearby bricks, one in each hand, stepped behind\nthe camel, and smacked his testicles with the bricks.\n\tThe camel let out a gigantic \"Whhoooosh!\" and sucked up what seemed\nlike twenty more gallons of water.\n\tThe American stared incredulously at the camel merchant.  \"My God,\nman!\" he exclaimed, \"doesn\'t that hurt?!\"\n\tThe merchant shrugged.  \"Only if you get your thumbs in between the\nbricks.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21153,57,'\nI tell ya, I knew my morning wasn\'t going right.   When I put on my shirt\nthe button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off,\nI tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.\n\t\t-- Rodney Dangerfield\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21154,57,'\nI walked on toward Ploughwright, thinking about feces.  What a lot we had\nfound out about the prehistoric past from the study of fossilized dung of\nlong-vanished animals.  A miraculous thing, really; a recovery from the\npast from what was carelessly rejected.  And in the Middle Ages, how\nconcerned people who lived close to the world of nature were with the\nfeces of animals.  And what a variety of names they had for them: the\nCrotels of a Hare, the Friants of a Boar, the Spraints of an Otter, the\nWerderobe of a Badger, the Waggying of a Fox, the Fumets of a Deer.\nSurely there might be some words for the material so near to the heart of\nOzy Froats [an academic studying feces] than shit? What about the\nProblems of a President, the Backward Passes of a Footballer, the\nDeferrals of a Dean, the Odd Volumes of a Librarian, the Footnotes of a\nPh.D., the Low Grades of a Freshman, the Anxieties of an Untenured Professor?\n\t\t-- Robertson Davies, \"The Rebel Angels\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21155,57,'\nI was a cock-teaser at Rooster Rama.  \nI used to enrage the bantams before the big bouts.\n\t\t-- Firesign Theatre\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21156,57,'\nI was toilet-trained at gunpoint.\n\t\t-- Billy Braver\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21157,57,'\nI will not be briefed or debriefed, my underwear is my own.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21158,57,'\nI\'m not laughing behind your back; everything funny is in front!\n\t\t-- Rodney Dangerfield\'s wife\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21159,57,'\nIn France they piss on Main Street.  (In pissoirs, Mama, not cheap display).\n\t\t-- Joni Mitchell\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21160,57,'\nIn outer space, nobody can hear you fart.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21161,57,'\nIt is recounted that at King\'s College in the Strand around the time of the\nwar, the Chief of Services would inevitably begin the year\'s rounds by\nteaching \"a singularly important principle of medicine.\"  He asked a nurse\nto fetch him a sample of urine.  He then talked at length about Diabetes\nmellitus. \"Diabetes,\" he said, \"is a greek name; but the Romans noticed that\nthe bees like the urine of diabetics, so they added the word mellitus which\nmeans sweet as honey.  Well, as you know, you may find sugar in the urine\nof a diabetic ...\"\n\tBy now the nurse had returned with a sample of urine which the\nregistrar promptly held up like a trophy.  We stared at that straw-colored\nfluid as if we had never seen such a thing before.  The registrar then\nstartled us.  He dipped a finger boldly into the urine, then licked his\nfinger with the tip of his tongue.  As if tasting wine, he opened and closed\nhis lips rapidly.  Could he perhaps detect a faint taste of sugar?  The sample\nwas passed on to us for an opinion.  We all dipped a finger into the fluid,\nall of us foolishly licked that finger.\n\t\"Now,\" said the Registrar grinning, \"You have learnt the first\nprinciple of diagnosis.  I mean the power of observation.\"  We were baffled.\nWe stood near the sluice room outside the ward, and in the distance, some\nanonymous patient was explosively coughing. \"You see,\" the registrar said\ncontinuing triumphantly, \"I dipped my MIDDLE finger into the urine, but\nlicked my INDEX finger -- not like all you chaps.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21162,57,'\nIt takes leather balls to play rugby.\n\t(Blood makes the grass grow!)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21163,57,'\nIt was at the eighth annual mouse convention and mice from near and far had\ngathered for the ball.  A pretty little female mouse waltzed by the stag\nline and one of the males whistled a low, dirty whistle to himself.\nTurning to  another mouse he said, \"Look at the legs on that bitch, aren\'t\nthey beautiful?\"\n\t\"Just fair,\" was the answer.\n\t\"You\'re crazy,\" said the first mouse and then turning to another,\nasked his opinion.\n\t\"They\'re nice,\" said the third mouse, \"but nothing to get excited\nabout.\"\n\t\"Some mice have no appreciation,\" exclaimed the first mouse.  \"Now\nyou,\" he said to a fourth mouse, \"what did you think?\"\n\t\"To tell you the truth,\" was the reply, \"I\'m no authority on legs;\nI\'m a tit mouse myself.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21164,57,'\nJoan, the rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of\nher vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel.  She wore a bathing suit\nthe frist day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her\nway up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan.  She\'d hardly\nbegun when she heard someone running up the stairs; she was lying on her\nstomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.\n\t\"Excuse me, miss,\" said the flustered little assistant manager of\nthe hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs.  \"The Hilton doesn\'t\nmind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your\nwearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday.\"\n\t\"What difference does it make,\" Joan asked rather calmly.  \"No one\ncan see me up here, and besides, I\'m covered with a towel.\"\n\t\"Not exactly,\" said the embarrassed little man.  \"You\'re lying on\nthe dining room skylight.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21165,57,'\nKonrad Lorenz, the great animal behaviorist, was scrupulous about cultivating\nfruitful confusion.  Lorenz lived among his research subjects:  dozens of\nspecies of mammals, birds, reptiles, and fishes.  He did not quantify, control,\nor consciously experiment.  He got to know each creature individually, then\nthrew them together, watching for the unexpected, the unusual, or the bizarre\nin the chaos that followed.  For example, his interest in one of ethology\'s\nmost important concepts, that of intention movements (motions with meaning,\nsuch as the head bobbing in birds that serves as an alarm signal before\nflight), derived from an inadvertent experiment.  He had trained a free-flying\nraven to eat raw meat from his hand and had been feeding the bird for several\nhours one day.  He would reach into his pants pocket and take out a piece of\nmeat, and the raven would swoop down to grab it in its bill.  By and by, Lorenz\nwent to relieve himself near a hedge.  When the raven saw him put his hand\ninto his pants and pull out another morsel of meat, it swooped down, hungrily\ngrasping the new mouthful in its bill.  Lorenz howled in pain.  But the event\nleft a deep impression on him -- about how faithfully animals respond to\nintention movements, that is.\n\t\t-- The Sciences, May/June, 1988, N.Y. Academy of Science.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21166,57,'\nLadies, here\'s a hint: If you\'re playing against a friend who has big\nboobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys.  That\'s\nthe hardest shot for the well endowed.  \"I\'ve got to hit over them or\nunder them, but I can\'t hit through,\" Annie Jones used to always moan\nto me.  Not having much in my bra, I found it hard to sympathize with her.\n\t\t-- Billie Jean King\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21167,57,'\nLady to Golf Pro: \"I was stung by bees on your golf course!\"\nPro:\t\"Ummm, well, where?\"\nLady:\t\"Between the 1st and 2nd holes.\"\nPro:\t\"That\'s going to real tough to treat.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21168,57,'\n... like, what do they mean when they say \'feminine protection\'?  What\'s that?\nA chartreuse flamethrower?\n\t\t-- Opus\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21169,57,'\nMan in stall:\n\tHey, buddy?  Is there any toilet paper out there?\nMan at sink:\n\tNo, I don\'t see any.  Just a second...  Nope, none in\n\tany of the other stalls either.\nA minute passes.\nMan in stall:\n\tSay, buddy?\nMan at sink:\n\tYeah?\nMan in stall:\n\tYou got change for a ten?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21170,57,'\nMan who dance in crowded ballroom dance cheek to cheek with woman behind him.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21171,57,'\nMan who keep money in jockstrap has financial matters all balled up.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21172,57,'\nMany a bachelor feels the need to insert his masculinity.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21173,57,'\nMay Allah blow sand in your Preparation H.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21174,57,'\nMay the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21175,57,'\nMaybe if the guy who developed Twinkies hadn\'t had such a low\nopinion of himself they would have been an inch or two longer!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21176,57,'\n\"Mind you, not as bad as the night Archie Pettigrew ate some sheep\'s testicles\nfor a bet...  God, that bloody sheep kicked him!\"\n\t\t-- Ripping Yarns\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21177,57,'\n\tMr. Hersh came home to find his wife sitting naked in front of the\nmirror, admiring her breasts.\n\t\"And what do you think you\'re doing?\" he asked.\n\t\"I went to the doctor today and he said I have the breasts of a \ntwenty-five-year-old.\"\n\t\"Oh yeah?  And what did he have to say about your forty-year-old ass?\"\n\t\"Nothing,\" she replied. \"Your name didn\'t come up at all.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21178,57,'\nMr. Rection, Mr. Hugh G. Rection, please pick up a white courtesy telephone!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21179,57,'\nMy mother didn\'t breast-feed me.  She said she liked me as a friend.\n\t\t-- Rodney Dangerfield\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21180,57,'\nMy wife has breast cancer.  She told me to start dating.\n\t\t-- Howard Stern\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21181,57,'\nNaked children are so perfectly pure and lovely.  I confess I do not admire\nnaked boys.  They always seem to me to need clothes -- whereas one hardly\nsees why the lovely forms of girls should ever be covered up.\n\t\t-- Lewis Carroll\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21182,57,'\nNaked couple in bed, woman says to man:\n\t\"When I said I had a foot fetish, I was referring to cocks.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21183,57,'\nOh, ya doesn\'t have ta call me \'Johnson\'!  Well, you can call me \'Ray\', or\nyou can call me \'Jay\', or you can call me \'R.J.\', or you can call me \'Ray\nJ.\', or you can call me \'R.J.J.\', or you can call me \'Ray J. Johnson\', or\nyou can call me \'R.J. Johnson\', but ya DOESN\'T have to call me \'Johnson\'...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21184,57,'\nOnce in a medieval times...there was a King who was getting sort of\nbored after dinner one night.  He decided to hold a contest of who at the\ncourt had the mightiest \"weapon\".  The first knight stood up and proclaimed\nthat he had the mightiest weapon... he pulled down his pants and tied a 5\npound weight around it.  The weapon doth rose.  The crowds cheered... the\nwomen swooned... the children waved multi-colored banners... and the band\nplayed appropriate music.\n\tAnother knight stood up and claimed that he had the mightiest weapon.\nHe dropped his pants and tied a 10 pound weight to himself.  The weapon doth\nrose. The crowds cheered... the women swooned... the children waved\nmulti-colored banners...  and the band played appropriate music.\n\tAfter several more knights tried to prove their superiority...  the\nKing finally spoke out. \"I have the mightiest weapon of them all!\" He dropped\nhis pants and tied, not a 10 pound, not a 20 pound, not ever a thirty pound,\nbut a 40 pound weight, plus a coffe pot, to himself. The weapon doth rose.\nThe crowds cheered...  the women swooned... the children waved multi-colored\nbanners... and the band played \"God Save the Queen.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21185,57,'\nOnce you\'ve got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21186,57,'\nOne day a mouse was driving along the road in his Mercedes when he heard an\nanguished roaring noise coming from the side of the road.  Stopping the car,\nhe got out and discovered a lion stuck in a deep ditch and roaring for help.\nReassuring the lion, the mouse tied a rope around the axle of the Mercedes,\nthrew the other end down to the lion, and pulled the beast out of the ditch.\nThe lion thanked the mouse profusely and they went their separate ways.\n\tTwo months later the lion was out for a stroll in the country when\nhe heard a panicked squeaking coming from the side of the road.  Investigating\nthe noise, what should he come across but the mouse stuck in the same hole.\n\"Oh, please help me, Mr. Lion,\" squeaked the terrified mouse.  \"I saved you\nwith my car once, remember?\"\n\t\"Course I\'ll help you, little fellow,\" roared the lion.  \"I\'ll just\nlower my dick down to you, you hold on to it, and we\'ll have you out of there\nin a jiffy.\"  Sure enough, a few minutes later the mouse was high and dry on\nthe roadside, trying to convey his eternal gratitude to the lion.\n\t\"Don\'t give it another thought,\" said the lion kindly.  \"It just goes\nto show that if you\'ve got a big dick, you don\'t need a Mercedes.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21187,57,'\nOne day, in a bar, a young man walks in with a little dwarf about one foot\ntall on his shoulder and orders a beer.  The bartender serves the man a beer;\nto his astonishment, the little guy walks down the man\'s arm, takes a swallow\nof the brew and spits it in his face.  After a few minutes the customer\norders another beer and the exact same thing happens.  Well, by this time,\nthe bartender is getting pretty upset; he figures that the man should take\ncare of the dwarf.  So he asks the guy, \"Why are you letting that guy drink\nall your beer and spit it in my face?\"\n\t\"Well, sir, when I was on a contract in Saudi Arabia I met this genie\nand he granted me three wishes.  I asked for a million dollars, the most\nbeautiful woman in the world, and a twelve-inch prick.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21188,57,'\nOne who does not know a burro from a burrow does not know his ass from a\nhole in the ground!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21189,57,'\nOpinions are like assholes -- everyone\'s got one, but nobody wants to look\nat the other guy\'s.\n\t\t-- Hal Hickman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21190,57,'\n\t\t\t\t\t\tPLAYGIRL, Inc.\n\t\t\t\t\t\tPhiladelphia, Pa.  19369\n\nDear Sir:\n\tYour name has been submitted to us with your photo.  I regret to\ninform you that we will be unable to use your body in our centerfold.  On\na scale of one to ten, your body was rated a minus two by a panel of women\nranging in age from 60 to 75 years.  We tried to assemble a panel in the\nage bracket of 25 to 35 years, but we could not get them to stop laughing\nlong enough to reach a decision.  Should the taste of the American woman\never change so drastically that bodies such as yours would be appropriate\nin our magazine, you will be notified by this office.  Please, don\'t call\nus.\n\tSympathetically,\n\tAmanda L. Smith\n\np.s.\tWe also want to commend you for your unusual pose.  Were you\n\twounded in the war, or do you ride your bike a lot?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21191,57,'\nPrior to this year\'s Rock & Roll Hall of Fame cermony, [Cash] went to\nthe bathroom.  \"I was standing at the urinal, and Keith Richards walked\nin...  He said, \'Look at this, I\'m pissing with Johnny Cash. We need a\npicture of this.\'  I said, \'No, Keith, we *don\'t* need a picture of this.\'\"\n\t\t-- Rolling Stone interview with Johnny Cash.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21192,57,'\nRaquel Welch:\t\t36-24-36\nBo Derek:\t\t35-24-36\nAnn-Margaret:\t\t37-25-36\nBette Middler:\t\t37-25-36\nMarilyn Monroe:\t\t37-24-37\nJane Russell:\t\t39-27-38\nJayne Mansfield:\t40-23-37\nSophia Loren:\t\t37-25-36\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21193,57,'\nRugby is a game played by men with peculiarly shaped balls.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21194,57,'\nSeems like this duck waddles into a pharmacy, waddles up to the prescription\ncounter and rings the bell.  The pharmacist walks up and asks, \"Can I help\nyou?\".\n\tThe duck replies, \"Yes, I\'d like a box of condoms, please.\"\n\t\"Certainly\", says the pharmacist, \"will that be cash or would\nyou like me to put it on your bill?\"\n\tSnarls the duck, \"Just what kind of duck do you think I am?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21195,57,'\nSeems this fellow was suffering from terrific headaches, and went to his\ndoctor about it. The physician made a number of tests, and informed the man\nthat the only thing for his headaches was castration.  After a few more\nmonths, the headaches became so intense that the man agreed to the operation.\nNaturally enough, the ruination of his sex life depressed him tremendously,\nand he decided to purchase a new wardrobe to make himself feel better.\nHe enters a men\'s clothing store and a salesman wanders over, looks him\nup and down, and says, \"Well, let\'s start with shirts... 15 neck, 34 sleeve.\"\n\tThe guy is amazed.  \"How\'d you know?\"\n\t\"Well, I\'ve been here nearly 30 years, and I can tell sizes within\na quarter inch on every piece of clothing.\"  The salesman\'s claim is borne\nout.  Slacks, 34 waist, 32 inseam; jacket: 42 long.  And so on and so forth.\nWhen the man has been completely outfitted he decides that he\'d better buy\nsome new underwear.\n\tThe salesman looks at him and says, \"Okay, that\'ll be a 34.\"\n\t\"No, that\'s wrong,\" says the man.  \"I\'ve always worn a 32.\"  The\nsalesman insists, pointing out his accuracy so far.  The man argues, agreeing\nthat while he\'s been right so far, he has always worn a 32 in shorts.\n\tFinally in exasperation, the salesman says, \"Listen, I tell you,\nyou *have* to wear a 34.  Otherwise, you\'ll get these *awful* headaches.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21196,57,'\nShort man who dance with tall woman gets bust in mouth.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21197,57,'\n\tShortly after arriving at their honeymoon destination, the\nstill-nervous groom became worried about the state of his bride\'s innocence.\nDeciding on a direct confrontation, he quickly undressed, pointed at his\nexposed manhood and asked his mate, \"Do you know what this is?\"\n\tWithout hesitation, she blushingly answered, \"That\'s a wee-wee.\"\n\tDelighted at the idea of instructing his naive wife in the ways of\nlove, the husband whispered, \"From now on, dearest, this will be called a\nprick.\"\n\t\"Oh, come now,\" the girl chided.  \"I\'ve seen lots of pricks and I\nassure you, that\'s a wee-wee.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21198,57,'\nSir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21199,57,'\nSize counts.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21200,57,'\nSniff sniff...  Hey!  Who farted?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21201,57,'\nSnow White:\n\t\"Gee guys, I\'ve always dreamed of getting ten inches...\n\tbut not an inch-and-a-half at a time!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21202,57,'\n... So this is a very confusing situation, and what makes it even\nworse is, our standards keep changing.  Take Playboy magazine.  Back in the\n1950s, when I started reading it strictly for the articles, Playboy was\nconsidered just about the raciest thing around, even though all it ever\nshowed was women\'s breasts.  Granted, any given one of these breasts would\nhave provided adequate shelter for a family of four, but the overall effect\nwas no more explicit than many publications we think nothing of today, such\nas Sports Illustrated\'s Annual Nipples Poking Through Swimsuits Issue.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Pornography\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21203,57,'\nSometimes guys\'ll say to you, \"Have a good one.\"  I say, \"I already have\na good one.  Now I\'m looking for a longer one.\"\n\t\t-- George Carlin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21204,57,'\nSuccess is like a fart -- only your own smells nice.\n\t\t-- James P. Hogan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21205,57,'\nThe difference between this school and a cactus plant is that the\ncactus has the pricks on the outside.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21206,57,'\n\tThe new patron was amazed by the cleanliness of the restaurant.  A\nwaiter approached the table.  \"Good afternoon, sir.  What may I serve you?\"\n\t\"I\'ll have the steak dinner,\" the man answered.\n\tAs the waiter headed for the kitchen, the diner noticed that he\nwore a spotless white apron and clean white gloves.  Soon the waiter\nreturned, bearing a casserole dish on a cart which he uncovered to reveal\ntwo tempting filet mignons.  From a covered pocket in his apron he produced\na small pair of shining silver tongs and with them he transferred the meat\nfrom the steaming casserole to the diner\'s plate.  \"We never touch anything\nwith our hands,\" he explained.\n\tThe waiter continued serving.  \"Confidentially,\" he said, \"we even\nhave a special set of rules about visiting the lavatory.  Do you see this\nlittle piece of string attached to my apron?\"\n\t\"Yes,\" the diner replied.  \"I noticed that all the aprons had one.\"\n\tThe waiter put a large browned potato on the plate with his tongs.\n\"Well,\" he began, \"if I should have to go to the bathroom, that string\ncomes in very handily.  I simply unzip my pants and take it out with that\npiece of string.  That way everything stays sanitary.\"\n\t\"But how do you put it back?\"\n\t\"Well, I don\'t know about the other guys,\" the waiter confided, \"but\nI use the tongs.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21207,57,'\nThe only way for writers to meet is to share a quick pee over a common lamppost.\n\t\t-- Cyril Connolly, \"Journal and Memoir\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21208,57,'\nThe real trouble with women is that they have *all* the pussy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21209,57,'\nThe word \"spine\" is, of course, an anagram of \"penis\".  This is true in\nalmost fifty percent of the languages of the Galaxy, and many people\nhave attempted to explain why.  Usually these explanations get bogged\ndown in silly puns about \"standing erect\".\n\t\t-- Douglas Adams, \"The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21210,57,'\n\tThe young male race horse came from a long line of winners, and did\nwonderfully in time trials.  However, in actual races he proved a little too\nromantic, and could never quite bring himself to pass a mare.\n\tSo one day the trainer went to him and told him he\'d have to be\ncastrated.  The young horse, knowing that it was either this or the glue\nfactory, took it philosophically.  After all, having the operation was\nalmost a certain guarantee of a long and illustrious racing career.\n\tAfter a short recovery period, the horse was again run in time\ntrials, and found to do as well as ever.  But the first time he actually\nran in a race, he only went about ten paces, before getting a dejected look\non his face, turning around, and ambling back to the starting gates.\n\t\"What\'s the matter?\" asked the trainer, \"you were doing great!\"\n\t\"Yeah, well how would you feel\" replied the horse, \"if five thousand\npeople took one look at you and shouted `they\'re off!\'?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21211,57,'\nThe young man-about-town enjoyed luxury but didn\'t always have the means\nto buy it, and so he huffily walked out of the Miami Beach hotel when he \nfound out the charges for room, meals and golf privileges were $300 a day.\nHe registered across the street at an equally elegant hotel, where the \nrates were only $70.  The following morning he went down to the hotel\'s\ngolf course and asked Scotty, the pro, to sell him a couple of golf balls.\n\"Sure,\" said Scotty.  \"That\'ll be $25 apiece.\"\n\t\"What?\" screamed the bachelor.  \"In the hotel across the street\nthey only charge $1 a ball!\"\n\t\"Naturally,\" replied the pro.  \"Over there they get you by the\nrooms.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21212,57,'\nThere was once a salesman who had an outstanding record for selling tooth-\nbrushes.  His boss, wondering at his unlikely success, sent a man out to\nfollow the salesman on rounds to see what pitch he gave that brought such\ngood results.  It was soon found that this particular salesman went to the\ncorner of a busy street and opened up his briefcase, and on one side was the\nassortment of toothbrushes, and on the other side various chips and garnishes\nand a bowl of brownish stuff.  He would grab a likely customer and give them\nthe following pitch.\n\t\"Good morning, ma\'am, this is a commercial promotion for --- brand\nof chip dip.  Would you care to give it a try?\"\n\tAt that point the person would try it, then spit it out and scream\nin utter disgust, \"This tastes like shit!\"\n\tThe salesman would smile and say, \"It is.  You want to buy a\ntoothbrush?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21213,57,'\nThere\'s a vas deferens between men and women.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21214,57,'\n\tThis 600-pound guy decides he can\'t go on living this way, so he seeks\nthe help of a clinic and proceeds to go on a drastic diet.  It works: four\nmonths later he\'s down to 160 pounds and feeling great, except for one problem.\nHe\'s covered with great folds of flesh where the fat used to be.  He calls\nup the clinic, and the doctor tells him not to worry.  \"There\'s a special\nsurgical procedure to correct this condition,\" the doctor assures him.  \"Just\ncome on over to the clinic.\"\n\t\"But doctor,\" the man pleads, \"you don\'t understand.  I\'m too\nembarrassed to be seen in public like this.\"\n\t\"Don\'t give it another thought,\" says the doctor.  \"Simply pull up\nall the folds as high as they\'ll go, pile the flesh on top of your head, put\non a top hat, and come on over.\"\n\tThe guy follows the instructions and provokes no comments until he\nreaches the clinic and is standing in front of the admitting nurse\'s desk,\ndying of self-consciousness.  \"The doctor will be right with you,\" says the\nnurse.  \"Say, what\'s that hole in the middle of your forehead?\"\n\t\"My navel,\" blurts out the guy, \"how d\'ya like my tie?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21215,57,'\nThis fellow rushed into a crowded tavern on Saturday night.  Men and women\nstood three-deep at the bar.  Our man, who felt nature calling strongly, \nlooked about him but couldn\'t see anything that resembled a john.  He saw a \nstairway and bounded up the steps to the second floor in his increasingly \ndesperate search.  Just as his bowels threatened to erupt, he spotted a \none-foot by one-foot hole in the floor.  Now, at the end of his control, he \ndecided to take advantage of the hole.  He dropped his pants, hunched over it, \nand did his thing.  Thoroughly relieved and relaxed, he sauntered down the \nsteps to find, to his suprise, that the crowded bar was now empty.\n\t\"Hey!\" he yelled to the seemingly empty room, \"Where is everyone?\"\n\tFrom behind the bar a voice responded, \"Hey!  Where were you when\nthe shit hit the fan?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21216,57,'\nThis guy, see, was walkin\' down the street sportin\' two -- not one, but two\n-- black eyes; a coupla real shiners.  He chanced upon his buddy walkin\' th\'\nother way... they stopped to talk...  \"Hey guy,\" sez his buddy, \"where\'d\'ja\ngit them good lookin\' shiners?  Musta been a helluva fight.\"\n\t\"Well, actually, I got them in church,\" sez he.\n\t\"Nowwaitaminnit,\" sez the friend, \"nobody gits black eyes in church!\"\n\t\"I swear I did,\" sez he, \"and here\'s how it happened.  We all got up\nto sing a hymn, you see, and the fat lady in front of me got her dress all\nstuck up in the crack of her butt, so bein\' as how I\'m a real gennulman an\'\nall, well, I leaned forward and pulled it out for her.  And you know what?\nShe just turned around, hauled off and slugged me one!\"\n\t\"Well,\" his buddy replies, after he can talk again, \"that shore \'nuff\nexplains one of \'em.  Howdja git th\' other one?\"\n\t\"Well,\" sez he, \"like I said, I\'m a gennulman, even when somebody does\nme wrong, so when I saw she didn\'t like it like that, I stuck it back in.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21217,57,'\nThis hot and dusty cowboy rode in from the mesa, filthy and exhausted.  He\nobviously had had nothing but his horse for company for a couple of weeks\nand was looking forward to a couple of cold beers in the saloon.  Swinging\noff his horse and hitching it to the rail, the cowboy gave his horse an\naffectionate slap on the neck.  Then he astonished an old cowhand lounging\non the porch by moving around to the horse\'s hindquarters, lifting up its\ntail and planting a demure kiss on its asshole.\n\t\"What\'d you do that for?\" asked the cowhand, completely repulsed.\n\t\"Chapped lips,\" said the cowboy, heading for the saloon doors.\n\t\"Wait a minute,\" said the old guy.  \"Whaddaya mean, chapped lips?\"\n\t\"Keeps ya from lickin\' \'em,\" explained the cowboy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21218,57,'\nTonight\'s piss is tommorrow\'s Tang.\n\t\t-- An American astronaut\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21219,57,'\nTwo Peace Corps doctors who had just returned to a stateside hospital\nwere in front of the main desk in the midst of a heated argument that\nwent along these lines:\n\t(1st doctor)\t\"No, no, no! It\'s \'waaaahmmmb\'\"\n\t(2nd doctor)\t\"No you\'re wrong! It\'s \'woooooommmb\'\"\nand this continued for quite sometime.\n\tFinally a nurse stepped in and said: \"The correct pronunciation is\n\'womb\'\" and trotted off.\n\t(1st doctor)\t\"That shows you what she knows.\"\n\t(2nd doctor)\t\"Yeah.  I bet she\'s never even SEEN a hippopotamus,\nlet alone heard one fart underwater.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21220,57,'\nUSENET is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea --\nmassive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and\na source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least\nexpect it.\n\t\t-- Gene Spafford\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21221,57,'\nWell, God gave me a bust.  What am I supposed to do with it?\n\t\t-- Martha Mitchell\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21222,57,'\nWhat a man enjoys most about a woman\'s clothes are his fantasies of how\nshe would look without them.\n\t\t-- Brendan Francis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21223,57,'\nWhile away at a convention, an executive happened to meet a young woman who\nwas pretty, chic, and intelligent.  When he persuaded her to disrobe in his\nhotel room, he found out she had a superb body as well.  Unfortunately, as\nwill happen, the executive sadly found himself unable to perform.\n\tOn his first night home, the executive padded naked from the shower\ninto the bedroom to find his wife swathed in a rumpled bathrobe, her hair\ncurled, her face creamed, munching candy loudly as she pored through a movie\nmagazine.  And then, without warning, he felt the onset of a magnificent\nerection. \n\tLooking down at his throbbing member, he snarled, \"Why you ungrateful,\nmixed-up, son-of-a-bitch!  Now I know why they call you a prick!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21224,57,'\nWhy not, for example, offer a brand-new Mustang convertible to every girl\nwho consents to having her Fallopian tubes tied in a Gordian knot?  ... It\nwould have the additional benefit of eliminating from the gene pool those\nstupid enough to consent to such a deal.\n\t\t-- Edward Abbey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21225,57,'\nWorking hard around here is like pissing on yourself in a dark suit;\nyou get a warm feeling but nobody notices.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21226,57,'\nWould you rather have a 5-inch hard or an 8-inch floppy?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21227,57,'\nYa know, Quaker Oats make you feel good twice!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21228,57,'\nYou are witty, charming, handsome and above average in length.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21229,57,'\nYou know what burns my ass?  A flame about three feet high.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21230,57,'\nYou should be a hemorrhoid, you\'re such a pain in the ass.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21231,58,'A racially integrated community is a chronological term timed from the\nentrance of the first black family to the exit of the last white family.\n\t\t-- Saul Alinsky\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21232,58,'\nThey don\'t suffer.  They can\'t even speak English.\n\t\t-- George F. Baer, answering a reporter\'s\n\t\t   question about the suffering of starving miners.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21233,58,'\nWe are giving instruction to FBI agents in the various Chinese\ndialects ... to handle present and likely future contingencies.\n\t\t-- J. Edgar Hoover\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21234,59,'A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove\nanything.\n\t\t-- Friedrich Nietzsche\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21235,59,'\nA Catholic and a Methodist were carpooling to work one morning, when a brick\nfell out of the sky, which startled the driver and caused him to swerve off\nthe road and into a telephone pole, totaling the car.\n\tThe two stumbled out of the wreckage, both feeling quite fortunate\nto be alive.  The Catholic crossed himself.  Then the Protestant crossed\nhimself in an accentuated manner.\n\t\"Hey,\" said the Catholic, \"I why did you cross yourself, you\'re not\nCatholic!\"\n\t\"Just checking,\" replied his friend, crossing himself again,\n\"spectacles, testicles, wallet, pen.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21236,59,'\nA Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on\nSaturday and is going to do on Monday.\n\t\t-- Thomas Ybarra\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21237,59,'\nA clever prophet makes sure of the event first.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21238,59,'\nA Galileo could no more be elected president of the United States than\nhe could be elected Pope of Rome.  Both high posts are reserved for men\nfavored by God with an extraordinary genius for swathing the bitter\nfacts of life in bandages of self-illusion.\n\t\t-- H. L. Mencken\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21239,59,'\nA key to the understanding of all religions is that a God\'s idea of a\ngood time is a game of Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21240,59,'\n\tA man dies and is getting his tour of heaven.  His guide is pointing\nout the various features and landmarks when the man asks, \"What\'s that cliff?\"\n\t\"Oh, you don\'t want to look down there.  That\'s hell!\"\n\tThe man creeps up to the edge and looks over.  He sees lush, green\nvalleys, verdant farmland and trees everywhere.  \"This doesn\'t look so bad,\"\nhe says.\n\tPuzzled, the guide comes over and looks down.  \"Damn!\" he snaps,\n\"Those Mormons have been irrigating again!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21241,59,'\nA man fell off a mountain and, as he fell, saw a branch and grabbed for it.\nBy superhuman effort he was able to get a precarious grip on it.  As he\nwas hanging there for dear life, he looked up and cried out,\n\t\"Is anybody there?\"\nA deep majestic voice answered,\n\t\"Yes my son, I am here.  What do you need?\"\n\t\"Help me!!\" cried the man.\n\t\"I will help you\", said the voice, \"Just let go of the branch and\nyou\'ll be safe.  All you have to do is trust.\"\nThe man thought for a moment and cried out:\n\t\"Anybody ELSE up there?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21242,59,'\nA man without a God is like a fish without a bicycle.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21243,59,'\n\"A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a\ngood many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious\nscruples and the police.\"\n\t\t-- Mr. Dooley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21244,59,'\nA myth is a religion in which no-one any longer believes.\n\t\t-- James Feibleman, \"Understanding Philosophy\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21245,59,'\nA Puritan is someone who is deathly afraid that someone, somewhere, is\nhaving fun.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21246,59,'\nA rabbi and a priest are sitting together on a train, and the rabbi leans\nover and asks, \"So, how high can you advance in your organization?\"\n\tThe priest replies, \"Well, if I am lucky, I guess I could become a\nBishop.\"\n\t\"Well, could you get any higher than that?\"\n\t\"I suppose that if my works are seen in a very good light that I\nmight be made an Archbishop.\"\n\t\"Is there any way that you might go higher than that?\"\n\t\"If all the Saints should smile, I guess I could be made a Cardinal.\"\n\t\"Could you be anything higher than a Cardinal?\"\n\tHesitating a little bit, the priest said, \"I supose that I could\nbe elected Pope, but only if it\'s God\'s will.\"\n\t\"And could you be anything higher than that, is there any way to go\nup from being the Pope?\"\n\t\"What?!  I should be the Messiah himself?!\"\n\tThe rabbi leaned back and smiled.  \"One of our boys made it.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21247,59,'\n\"Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western\nreligion, Rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of\nWestern science.\"\n\t\t-- Gary Zukav, \"The Dancing Wu Li Masters\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21248,59,'\nAll Gods were immortal.\n\t\t-- Stanislaw J. Lem, \"Unkempt Thoughts\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21249,59,'\nAll religions issue Bibles against Satan, and say the most injurious things\nagainst him, but we never hear his side.\n\t\t-- Mark Twain\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21250,59,'\nAll the waters of the earth are in the armpit of the Great Frog.\n\t\t-- R. Crumb\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21251,59,'\nAlready the spirit of our schooling is permeated with the feeling that every\nsubject, every topic, every fact, every professed truth must be submitted\nto a certain publicity and impartiality.  All proffered samples of learning\nmust go to the same assay-room and be subjected to common tests.  It is the\nessence of all dogmatic faiths to hold that any such \"show-down\" is\nsacrilegious and perverse.  The characteristic of religion, from their point\nof view, is that it is intellectually secret, not public; peculiarly revealed,\nnot generally known; authoritatively declared, not communicated and tested\nin ordinary ways...It is pertinent to point out that, as long as religion\nis conceived as it is now by the great majority of professed religionists,\nthere is something self-contradictory in speaking of education in religion\nin the same sense in which we speak of education in topics where the method\nof free inquiry has made its way.  The \"religious\" would be the last to be\nwilling that either the history of the content of religion should be taught\nin this spirit; while those to whom the scientific standpoint is not merely\na technical device, but is the embodiment of the integrity of mind, must\nprotest against its being taught in any other spirit.\n\t\t-- John Dewey, \"Democracy in the Schools\", 1908\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21252,59,'\nAn atheist is a man with no invisible means of support.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21253,59,'\n\"And Bezel saideth unto Sham: `Sham,\' he saideth, `Thou shalt goest\nunto the town of Begorrah, and there thou shalt fetcheth unto thine\nbosom 35 talents, and also shalt thou fetcheth a like number of cubits,\nprovideth that they are nice and fresh.\'\"\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Getting Religion\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21254,59,'\n...And have you ever noticed that you never see the Father, the Son, and\nthe Holy Ghost partying together at the same time?  Oh, sure, everybody\ntalks like they aren\'t the same person, but I wonder...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21255,59,'\n\tAnd Jesus said unto them, \"And whom do you say that I am?\"\n\tThey replied, \"You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground\nof our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very selfhood\nrevealed.\"\n\tAnd Jesus replied, \"What?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21256,59,'\n...and no philosophy, sadly, has all the answers.  No matter how assured\nwe may be about certain aspects of our belief, there are always painful\ninconsistencies, exceptions, and contradictions.  This is true in religion\nas it is in politics, and is self-evident to all except fanatics and the\nnaive.  As for the fanatics, whose number is legion in our own time, we\nmight be advised to leave them to heaven.  They will not, unfortunately, do\nus the same courtesy.  They attack us and each other, and whatever their\nprotestations to peaceful intent, the bloody record of history makes clear\nthat they are easily disposed to restore to the sword.  My own belief in\nGod, then, is just that -- a matter of belief, not knowledge.  My respect\nfor Jesus Christ arises from the fact that He seems to have been the most\nvirtuous inhabitant of Planet Earth.  But even well-educated Christians are\nfrustated in their thirst for certainty about the beloved figure of Jesus\nbecause of the undeniable ambiguity of the scriptural record.  Such ambiguity\nis not apparent to children or fanatics, but every recognized Bible scholar\nis perfectly aware of it.  Some Christians, alas, resort to formal lying to\nobscure such reality.\n\t\t-- Steve Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21257,59,'\n\tAnd on the third day, Christ arose, pushed aside the rock that had\nserved as the tomb door, and walked again on the earth.\n\tAnd as he departed, a passer-by pointed at the door Jesus had left\nopen.  \"What\'s the matter with you?\" he said. \"Born in a barn?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21258,59,'\nAnkh if you love Isis.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21259,59,'\nAny priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.\n\t\t-- Lazarus Long\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21260,59,'\nAs I argued in \"Beloved Son\", a book about my son Brian and the subject of\nreligious communes and cults, one result of proper early instruction in the\nmethods of rational thought will be to make sudden mindless conversions --\nto anything -- less likely.  Brian now realizes this and has, after eleven\nyears, left the sect he was associated with.  The problem is that once the\nuntrained mind has made a formal commitment to a religious philosophy --\nand it does not matter whether that philosophy is generally reasonable and\nhigh-minded or utterly bizarre and irrational -- the powers of reason are\nsuprisingly ineffective in changing the believer\'s mind.\n\t\t-- Steve Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21261,59,'\nAs the Catholic church becomes more and more tolerant, some day they will\nhave to consider the possibility of a gay pope.  Possibly the largest\nissue will be having to decide whether he is \"absolutely divine\" or \"just\nsimply marvelous.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21262,59,'\nAs the recent sightings of bumper stickers reading \"IN CASE OF RAPTURE, THIS\nVEHICLE WILL BE UNMANNED\" have created a great deal of confusion, Fortune\noffers the following excerpts from the 1989 printing of the State of Maryland\nDriver\'s Handbook:\n\tIf you notice a glorious light in the sky, a sound as of an infinite\nchoir of unearthly voices, and a host of winged beings descending from the\nheavens, do not panic.  If you are on the freeway, move to the shoulder as\nsoon as it is safe to do so, activate your hazard blinkers, and wait for the\nend of the world.  If you are Saved, it is especially important that you do\nthis BEFORE you are carried to your Eternal Reward, in order that your vehicle\nnot become a hazard to others.  Remember, Rapture is the number one cause of\nautomobile accidents during major spiritual upheavals.  You may experience a\nfeeling of discorporation (\"being pulled from one\'s body\") while driving.  To\nensure the safety of your passengers and other drivers, move to the shoulder\nas soon as you notice any of the following symptoms:\n\t-- An overwhelming sense of peace and happiness.\n\t-- Visions of the faces of deceased family members.\n\t-- A glorious figure in white, beckoning from the end of a tunnel of\nwhite mist (do not confuse this with traffic control or maintainance officers,\nwho wear dark blue and safety orange.)\n\tOnce the feeling has passed, inspect your surroundings.  If still in\nyour car, you have probably suffered a stroke and should have someone drive\nyou to a hospital at once.  If you find yourself in the Kingdom of God, consult\nthe local officials for information on local traffic rules and regulations.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21263,59,'\nAs to Jesus of Nazareth... I think the system of Morals and his Religion,\nas he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see;\nbut I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have,\nwith most of the present Dissenters in England, some doubts as to his divinity.\n\t\t-- Benjamin Franklin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21264,59,'\nAshes to ashes, dust to dust,\nIf God won\'t have you, the devil must.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21265,59,'\nAtheism is a non-prophet organization.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21266,59,'\nBetter the prince of some inferior court,\nThan second, or less, in beatific light.\n\t\t-- Lucifer, Joost van den Vondel\'s \"Lucifer\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21267,59,'\nBeware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies.  The\ndanger already exists that the mathematicians have made covenant with\nthe devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of hell.\n\t\t-- St. Augustine\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21268,59,'\nBrother Jim\'s recent appearance on the William and Mary campus this past\nweek was cut short by an ingenious device designed by two computer science\nstudents.  A three-foot bar of extruded aluminum was precisely machined,\nwith a hole milled down the center of precisely the dimensions of one of\nthe small Gideon bibles.  The end capped off, a CO2 canister was connected\nto provide up to 2,000 PSIG.  Prelimary estimates during field testing\nrevealed a muzzle velocity of approximarly 120-150 MPH for bibles exiting\nthe tube.  Sufficient ammunition was obtained during a previous visit to\ncampus by another religious organization, and the system was first used on\nBrother Jim, who suffered a broken rib and numerous small bruises, in\naddition to the usual humiliation.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21269,59,'\nCampus crusade for Cthulhu -- it found me.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21270,59,'\nCatholicism has changed tremendously in the recent years.  Now when\nCommunion is served there is also a salad bar.\n\t\t-- Bill Marr\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21271,59,'\nChrist died for our sins, so let\'s not disappoint Him.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21272,59,'\nChristianity and Judaism aren\'t all that different, really.  Growing up in\na Christian family, the feeling of guilt for Man\'s sins comes from God.\nIn a Jewish family, it comes from your parents.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21273,59,'\nChristianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found\ndifficult and not tried.\n\t\t-- G. K. Chesterton\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21274,59,'\nChristianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.\n\t\t-- George Bernard Shaw\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21275,59,'\n\"Creation science\" has not entered the curriculum for a reason so simple\nand so basic that we often forget to mention it: because it is false, and\nbecause good teachers understand exactly why it is false.  What could be\nmore destructive of that most fragile yet most precious commodity in our\nentire intellectualy heritage -- good teaching -- than a bill forcing\nhonorable teachers to sully their sacred trust by granting equal treatment\nto a doctrine not only known to be false, but calculated to undermine any\ngeneral understanding of science as an enterprise?\n\t\t-- Stephen Jay Gould, \"The Skeptical Inquirer\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21276,59,'\nCrucifixes are sexy because there\'s a naked man on them.\n\t\t-- Madonna\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21277,59,'\nCthulhu Cthucks!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21278,59,'\nCthulhu for President!\n\t(If you\'re tired of choosing the lesser of two evils.)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21279,59,'\nCthulhu Saves -- in case He\'s hungry later.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21280,59,'\nDavid was just a shepherd who liked to get his rocks off in leather.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21281,59,'\nDear Ann Landers:\n\tMy husband watches the TV preachers every Sunday.  He claims\none minister said there are 350 different sins.  My husband wants to\nknow if you can get the list.  He thinks he is missing something.\n\t\t-- E.J. Mayfield\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21282,59,'\nDianetics is a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of\nfire and superior to his invention of the wheel and the arch.\n\t\t-- L. Ron Hubbard\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21283,59,'\nDid you ever wonder what you\'d say to God if He sneezed?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21284,59,'\nDidja hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21285,59,'\n... difference of opinion is advantagious in religion.  The several sects\nperform the office of a common censor morum over each other.  Is uniformity\nattainable?  Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the\nintroduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned;\nyet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity.\n\t\t-- Thomas Jefferson, \"Notes on Virginia\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21286,59,'\nDriving through a Swiss city one day, Alfred Hitchcock suddenly\npointed out of the car window and said, \"That is the most frightening\nsight I have ever seen.\"  His companion was surprised to see nothing\nmore alarming than a priest in conversation with a little boy, his hand\non the child\'s shoulder.  \"Run, little boy,\" cried Hitchcock, leaning\nout of the car.  \"Run for your life!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21287,59,'\nDuring almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has\nbeen upon trial.  What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places,\npride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity,;\nin both, superstition, bigotry, and persecution.\n\t\t-- James Madison\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21288,59,'\nEnemy -- SP (Suppressive Person) Order.  Fair Game.  May be deprived of\nproperty or injured by any means by any Scientologist without any discipline\nof the Scientologist.  May be tricked, sued or lied to or destroyed.\n\t\t-- L. Ron Hubbard, \"Fair Game Doctrine\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21289,59,'\nEre the cock crows thrice one of you will betray me.\n\t\t-- Early Jewish Resistance Leader\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21290,59,'\nEvery day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.\n\t\t-- Lenny Bruce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21291,59,'\n\"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.\"\n\t\t-- Mark Twain\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21292,59,'\nGo to the Scriptures... the joyful promises it contains will be a balsam to\nall your troubles.\n\t\t-- Andrew Jackson\n\nThe foundations of our society and our government rest so much on the\nteachings of the Bible that it would be difficult to support them if faith\nin these teachings would cease to be practically universal in our country.\n\t\t-- Calvin Coolidge\n\nLastly, our ancestors established their system of government on morality and\nreligious sentiment.  Moral habits, they believed, cannot safely be trusted\non any other foundation than religious principle, nor any government be\nsecure which is not supported by moral habits.\n\t\t-- Daniel Webster\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21293,59,'\nGod did not create the world in seven days; he screwed around for six\ndays and then pulled an all-nighter.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21294,59,'\nGod is a polytheist.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21295,59,'\nGod is an atheist.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21296,59,'\nGOD is applied POWER\n    which is applied GOVERNMENT\n\twhich is applied POLITICS\n\t    which is applied ADVERTISING\n\t\twhich is applied SOCIOLOGY\n\t\t    which is applied PSYCHOLOGY\n\t\t\twhich is applied BIOLOGY\n\t\t\t    which is applied CHEMISTRY\n\t\t\t\twhich is applied PHYSICS\n\t\t\t\t    which is applied MATH\n\t\t\t\t\twhich is applied PHILOSOPHY\n\t\t\t\t\t    which is applied BULLSHIT\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21297,59,'\n\"God is as real as I am,\" the old man said.  My faith was restored, for\nI knew that Santa would never lie.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21298,59,'\n\"God is big, so don\'t fuck with him.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21299,59,'\nGod is not dead -- he\'s been busted.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21300,59,'\nGod is not dead!  He\'s alive and autographing bibles at Cody\'s.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21301,59,'\nGod is not dead.  He is alive and well and working on a much less\nambitious project.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21302,59,'\nGod is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent -- it says so right here\non the label.  If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these\ndivine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you.  No\nchecks, please.  Cash and in small bills.\n\t\t-- Lazarus Long\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21303,59,'\nGod isn\'t dead, he just couldn\'t find a parking place.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21304,59,'\nGod isn\'t dead, He\'s just trying to avoid the draft.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21305,59,'\nGod made the world in six days, and was arrested on the seventh.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21306,59,'\nGod must love assholes -- She made so many of them.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21307,59,'\nGod said it, I believe it and that\'s all there is to it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21308,59,'\nGod votes Republican.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21309,59,'\n\tGod wanted to have a holiday, so He asked St. Peter for suggestions on\nwhere to go.\n\t\"Why not go to Jupiter?\" asked St. Peter.\n\t\"No, too much gravity, too much stomping around,\" said God.\n\t\"Well, how about Mercury?\"\n\t\"No, it\'s too hot there.\"\n\t\"Okay,\" said St. Peter, \"What about Earth?\"\n\t\"No,\" sighed God, \"They\'re such horrible gossips.  When I was\nthere 2000 years ago, I had an affair with a Jewish woman, and they\'re\nstill talking about it.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21310,59,'\nGod wants us to know that if we see a bumper sticker saying \"Honk if you love\nJesus\" it is a bad idea to honk to express an opinion about Jesus because it\nwill annoy the turkey who put the bumper sticker on as well as everyone else\nin the vicinity.  However, it is just fine to honk to annoy the turkey simply\nfor being a turkey, for God told Man to be fruitful and multiply, and to rule\nover the beasts of the field and the birds of the air, and that includes the\nturkeys who buy such bumper stickers.  Of course, God understands that innocent\nbystanders will also be annoyed, but He has wisely created traffic cops to\nimpose some constraint on how much we may annoy the turkeys within city limits,\nfor God\'s wisdom comprehends full well that thou shalt not make an omelette\nwithout breaking eggs.  God only wishes they were turkey eggs, so such moral\ndilemmas shall be fewer in number in the future, when the generations a-coming\n(hallelujah) won\'t have so many turkeys to deal with.  But God knows full well\nthat such things take time, and the turkeys are showing more resilience than\nexpected, and may be with us for a long time yet.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21311,59,'\nHe has been known by many names;  the Prince of Lies, the Director, Lucifer,\nBelial, and once, at a party, some obnoxious drunk kept calling him \"Dude\".\n\t\t-- Stig\'s Inferno\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21312,59,'\nHeaven and earth were created all together in the same instant, on October\n23rd, 4004 B.C. at nine o\'clock in the morning.\n\t\t-- Dr. John Lightfoot,\n\t\tVice-chancellor of Cambridge University\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21313,59,'\nHistory has the relation to truth that theology has to religion --\ni.e., none to speak of.\n\t\t-- Lazarus Long\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21314,59,'\nHowever, on religious issues there can be little or no compromise.  There\nis no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs.\nThere is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than Jesus Christ,\nor God, or Allah, or whatever one calls this supreme being.  But like any\npowerful weapon, the use of God\'s name on one\'s behalf should be used\nsparingly.  The religious factions that are growing throughout our land are\nnot using their religious clout with wisdom.  They are trying to force\ngovernment leaders into following their position 100 percent.  If you disagree\nwith these religious groups on a particular moral issue, they complain, they\nthreaten you with a loss of money or votes or both.  I\'m frankly sick and\ntired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen\nthat if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in \"A,\" \"B,\" \"C,\" and\n\"D.\"  Just who do they think they are?  And from where do they presume to\nclaim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me?  And I am even more\nangry as a legislator who must endure the threats of every religious group\nwho thinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll\ncall in the Senate.  I am warning them today:  I will fight them every step\nof the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all Americans\nin the name of \"conservatism.\"\n\t\t-- Senator Barry Goldwater, Congressional Record\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21315,59,'\nI am an atheist, thank God!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21316,59,'\nI call Christianity the one great curse, the one enormous and innermost\nperversion, the one great instinct of revenge, for which no means are\ntoo venomous, too underhand, too underground and too petty -- I call it\nthe one immortal blemish of mankind.\n\t\t-- Fredrich Nietzsche\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21317,59,'\nI do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman\nChurch, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church,\nnor by any Church that I know of.  My own mind is my own Church.\n\t\t-- Thomas Paine\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21318,59,'\nI do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with\nsense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use.\n\t\t-- Galileo Galilei\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21319,59,'\nI don\'t care what star you\'re following, get that camel off my front lawn!\n\t\t-- Heard in Bethlehem\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21320,59,'\nI figure that if God actually does exist, He\'s big enough to understand an\nhonest difference of opinion.\n\t\t- Isaac Asimov\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21321,59,'\n\t\"I think he said \'Blessed are the cheesemakers.\'\"\n\t\"Nonsense, he was obviously referring to all manufacturers of dairy\nproducts.\"\n\t\t-- The Life of Brian\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21322,59,'\n\"I\'d like to start a new religion.  One that doesn\'t use a dead young\nman as its logo.\"\n\t\t-- Bill Cain, \"Stand Up Tragedy\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21323,59,'\nI\'m a creationist; I refuse to believe that I could have evolved from man.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21324,59,'\nI\'m an evolutionist; I refuse to believe that I could have been created by man.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21325,59,'\nIf atheism is to be used to express the state of mind in which God is\nidentified with the unknowable, and theology is pronounced to be a\ncollection of meaningless words about unintelligible chimeras, then I\nhave no doubt, and I think few people doubt, that atheists are as\nplentiful as blackberries.\n\t\t-- Leslie Stephen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21326,59,'\nIf Christianity was morality, Socrates would be the Saviour.\n\t\t-- William Blake\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21327,59,'\nIf God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.\n\t\t-- Voltaire, \"Epitres, XCVI\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21328,59,'\n\"If God had wanted us to use the metric system, Jesus would have had 10\napostles.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21329,59,'\nIf God lived on Earth, people would knock out all His windows.\n\t\t-- Yiddish saying\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21330,59,'\nIf Jesus Christ came to this town, people would say, great guy; terrible\ncarpenter.\n\t\t-- Gene Kirkwood, on Hollywood\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21331,59,'\nIf Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him.  They\nwould ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.\n\t\t-- Thomas Carlyle\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21332,59,'\nIf one inquires why the American tradition is so strong against any connection\nof State and Church, why it dreads even the rudiments of religious teaching\nin state-maintained schools, the immediate and superficial answer is not\nfar to seek. ...  The cause lay largely in the diversity and vitality of the\nvarious denominations, each fairly sure that, with a fair field and no favor,\nit could make its own way; and each animated by a jealous fear that, if any\nconnection of State and Church were permitted, some rival denomination would\nget an unfair advantage.\n\t\t-- John Dewey, \"Democracy in the Schools\", 1908\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21333,59,'\nIf the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust,\nthis would be a better world.\n\t\t-- Garrison Keillor, \"Lake Wobegon Days\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21334,59,'\nIf the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation,\nI would have recommended something simpler.\n\t\t-- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile,\n\t\t   Commenting on the Almagest, by Ptolemy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21335,59,'\nIf you can believe ten impossible things before breakfast, then you\nshould join\n\n\t\tTHE CHURCH OF COUNTERFACTUAL BELIEF\n\nThe Church of Counterfactual Belief has been set up to cater to all who\ndon\'t allow demonstrable truth to get in the way of their beliefs.  In\naddition to creation science and the flatness of the earth, the\nfollowing beliefs have been certified by Pope Duane as Church dogma:\n\n    --  That there is a hole in the Earth at the North Pole from which\n        UFOs come.\n    --  That pi equals precisely 3.000.\n    --  That sex can be enjoyed only by blacks and homosexuals.\n    --  That Billy Joe Wilson (Hoopla, Miss.) has successfully squared\n        the circle.\n    --  That Harry Truman is still president, and doing a fine job.\n    --  That pi equals precisely 22/7.\n\nSeveral other important counterfactual beliefs are presently being\nstudied, including Reaganomics, A.I., and that the moon landings were\ndone in a Hollywood special effects studio.  These will be the subject\nof a forthcoming Papal Bull ...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21336,59,'\nIf you don\'t count some of Jehovah\'s injunctions, there are no humorists\nin the Bible.\n\t\t-- Mordecai Richler\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21337,59,'\nIf you liked the Earth you\'ll love Heaven.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21338,59,'\nImagine there\'s no heaven... it\'s easy if you try.\n\t\t-- John Lennon, \"Imagine\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21339,59,'\n\"In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with\nreality at any point.\"\n\t\t-- Friedrich Nietzsche\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21340,59,'\nIn every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.\n\t\t-- Thomas Jefferson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21341,59,'\nIn regards to Oral Roberts\' claim that God told him that he would die unless\nhe received $20 million by March, God\'s lawyers have stated that their client\nhas not spoken with Roberts for several years.  Off the record, God has stated\nthat \"If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time\nago.\"\n\t\t-- Dennis Miller, SNL News\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21342,59,'\n\tIn the begining, God created the Earth and he said, \"Let there be mud.\"\n\tAnd there was mud.\n\tAnd God said, \"Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud\ncan see what we have done.\"\n\tAnd God created every living creature that now moveth, and one was\nman.  Mud-as-man alone could speak.\n\t\"What is the purpose of all this?\" man asked politely.\n\t\"Everything must have a purpose?\" asked God.\n\t\"Certainly,\" said man.\n\t\"Then I leave it to you to think of one for all of this,\" said God.\n\tAnd He went away.\n\t\t-- Kurt Vonnegut, Between Time and Timbuktu\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21343,59,'\n\"Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers\' every time\nsomeone writes `bible thumpers?\'\n\t\t-- Joel M. Snyder, jms@mis.arizona.edu\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21344,59,'\nIt is convenient that there be gods, and, as it is convenient, let us\nbelieve there are.\n\t\t-- Publius Ovidius Naso (Ovid)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21345,59,'\n\tIt is either through the influence of narcotic potions, of which all\nprimitive peoples and races speak in hymns, or through the powerful approach\nof spring, penetrating with joy all of nature, that those Dionysian stirrings\narise, which in their intensification lead the individual to forget himself\ncompletely. ... Not only does the bond between man and man come to be forged\nonce again by the magic of the Dionysian rite, but alienated, hostile, or\nsubjugated nature again celebrates her reconciliation with her prodigal son,\nman.\n\t\t-- Fred Nietzsche, The Birth of Tragedy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21346,59,'\n\"It says he made us all to be just like him.  So if we\'re dumb, then\ngod is dumb, and maybe even a little ugly on the side.\"\n\t\t-- Frank Zappa\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21347,59,'\nIt seems that a rabbi, a priest and a minister decided to go fishing one\nsunny afternoon.  All three climbed into the boat and headed for the middle\nof the lake.  After several hours of relaxation, the minister decided that\n\"nature was calling\", and climbed out of the boat and walked ashore.  In\na few moments, he walked back out to the boat and climbed back in.\n\tThe rabbi was absolutely astonished, but decided not to mention\nthe apparent miracle.\n\tA few minutes later, the priest also decided to go ashore for a\nmoment, and climbed out of the boat, walked to shore, and a few minutes\nlater came back.\n\tBy now the rabbi was in great distress and had begun to doubt his\nbeliefs and wonder if there might be some validity to the Christian\nteachings.  But he immediately reaffirmed the fact that his faith WAS JUST\nAS STRONG as either the priest\'s or the minister\'s and decided that anything\nthey could do, with God\'s help, he could do as well.\n\tThe rabbi then announced that he needed relief and would walk to\nshore.  He climbed out of the boat and went straight to the bottom of the\nlake.  While the rabbi was thrashing about in the water, the priest turned to\nthe minister and said, \"So... do you think we ought to tell him where the\nrocks are?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21348,59,'\nIt seems that there was this Christian about to be thrown to the lions.  He\nwas shoved into the middle of the arena and the lion was released.  Being\na good Christian, as the lion approached he knelt and prayed, asking God for\nforgiveness for his (few) sins, and begging that the lion might be dissuaded\nfrom eating him for its breakfast.  Much to his dismay, the lion didn\'t stop\nbut kept coming, getting faster and faster, now almost running, so the\nChristian took off too.  There they were, running around and around the arena,\nthe lion getting closer and the Christian praying harder and harder between\ngasps for breath.  The lions breath was now hot upon his heels and he could\neven feel droplets of the lions saliva splashing on his bare feet.  So he\npulled out all the stops, promising God that if the lion will only spare him,\nhe will devote the rest of his life to spreading the Christian faith,\nforsaking all temptation and possessions.  Suddenly he no longer felt the\nlions breath, no longer heard the great beast\'s snarls close behind him.\nSlowing to a stop, he turned around and saw the lion on its knees, eyes rolled\nupward, paws held together.  The lion appeared to be muttering something so\nthe Christian approached until he could make out what the lion was saying.\n\n\"Dear Lord, for what I am about to receive...\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21349,59,'\n... it still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the\nexistence of God in any recognizable sense continuous with the great\nsystems of the past, religious doctrines constitute a speculative\nhypothesis of an extremely low order of probability.\n\t\t-- Sidney Hook\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21350,59,'\nJehovah is an alien and still threatens this planet!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21351,59,'\nJesus died for your sins.  Make it worth his time.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21352,59,'\nJesus has just stopped the crowd from stoning Mary Magdalene to death\nand is berating the self-pious with the famous speech, \"Let the one\namong you who is without sin cast the first stone...\"\n\tRight about then, a rock comes winging through the air and hits\nJesus upside the head.  He whirls around and shouts \"Alright, Mom, c\'mon!\nI\'m trying to make a point, here!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21353,59,'\nJesus Never Fails\n\n(He\'s never taken the Massachusetts Bar Exam, either.)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21354,59,'\nJesus Saves!\n\n(And Esposito scores on the rebound!)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21355,59,'\nJesus Saves,\nMoses Invests,\nBut only Buddha pays Dividends.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21356,59,'\nJesus Saves,\nMoses Invests,\nBut only Buddha pays Dividends.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21357,59,'\n\"Jesus saves...but Gretzky gets the rebound!\"\n\t\t-- Daniel Hinojosa\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21358,59,'\nJesus was killed by a Moral Majority.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21359,59,'\nJohn Paul II is famous for his touring, and his quaint habit of pressing\nhis lips to foreign soil on his arrival.  This sparked some wit to remark:\n\t\"The Pope has it backwards: he kisses the ground, and walks on\nthe women!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21360,59,'\nLET Jesus be YOUR anchor!\n\nSo when Satan rocks your boat, THROW Jesus overboard!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21361,59,'\nLittle Herbie had been blind since birth.  One day at bedtime, his mother\ntold him that the next day was a very special one.  If he prayed extra\nhard, he\'d be able to see when he woke up the next morning.  The next\nmorning she came into Herbie\'s room and asked him if he\'d prayed hard\nthe night before.\n\t\"Yes, Mommie,\" was his reply, \"all night long!\"\n\t\"Well, then,\" she said, \"open your eyes and you\'ll know that\nyour prayers have been answered.\"\nLittle Herbie opened his eyes, only to cry out,\n\t\"Mother! Mother! I still can\'t see!\"\n\t\"I know, dear,\" said his mother, \"April Fool.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21362,59,'\nMan proposes, God disposes.\n\t\t-- Thomas `\ba Kempis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21363,59,'\nMany a long dispute between divines may thus be abridged: It is so.  It\nis not so.  It is so.  It is not so.\n\t\t-- Benjamin Franklin, \"Poor Richard\'s Almanack\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21364,59,'\nMany a sober Christian would rather admit that a wafer is God than that God\nis a cruel and capricious tyrant.\n\t\t-- Edward Gibbon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21365,59,'\nMilitant agnostic: I don\'t know, and you don\'t either.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21366,59,'\nMy daddy\'s brains was so scrambled he thought he was Jesus.  They put him\nin a nut house for 5 years and when he got out, he didn\'t think he was\nJesus, he thought he was *God*! ... Which made me Jesus.\n\t\t-- T. Bywater\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21367,59,'\nNewsflash:\n\tApparently the rapture did occur last Tuesday as was originally\npredicted.  All true believers were transported to heaven while the rest\nof us were left behind to await the Anti-Christ and the end of the world.\n\tWidespread reports that the rapture had not occurred stemmed from\nexpectations that the effect would be more widespread than it turned out\nto be.  The definition of \"true believer\" was apparently more restrictive\nthan expected, however, and the only qualifiers were a family of five,\nliving in Stenton, North Dakota.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21368,59,'\n\"Not only is God dead, but just try to find a plumber on weekends.\"\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21369,59,'\nNow it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-\nbogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers\nhave chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence\nof God.  The argument follows:  \"I refuse to prove that I exist,\" says God,\n\"for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.\"  \"But,\" says Man,\n\"the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn\'t it?  It could not have evolved\nby chance, thus proving that you exist, therefore by your own arguements,\nyou don\'t.  QED.\"  \"Oh, dear,\" says God, \"I hadn\'t thought of that,\" and\npromptly vanishes in a puff of logic.\n\t\t-- D. Adams\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21370,59,'\nOnce again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each\nof us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.\n\nIn the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called\nit \"Christmas\" and went to church; the Jews called it \"Hanukka\" and went to\nsynagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank.  People passing each\nother on the street would say \"Merry Christmas!\" or \"Happy Hanukka!\" or (to\nthe atheists) \"Look out for the wall!\"\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Christmas Shopping: A Survivor\'s Guide\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21371,59,'\nOnce I belonged to a group that really had THE WORD.  I fought like hell\nfor them.  But another group came along and exposed the word of my group\nas shallow and degenerate.  They had a better word.  So I quit the first\ngroup and lost all the friends I had made and I joined up with this new\ngroup.  I fought like hell for them.  But another group came around.  They\nexposed the word of my group as false and materialistic.  Their word was\nvery much better.  So I quit the second group and lost all the friends I\nhad made.  And I joined up with this new group.  I fought like hell for them.\nTill this one guy came along and proved that there wasn\'t any word at all.\nThat I should go off as an individual and grow!  So I quit the last group\nand lost all the friends I had made.  And now I sit home alone all day and\nall I do is grow.  It would be nice to join up with some others who feel\nthe way I do.\n\t\t-- J. Feiffer\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21372,59,'\nOne man\'s theology is another man\'s belly laugh.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21373,59,'\nOne of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible\nfrom one end to the other.  Reading the Bible straight through is at\nleast 70 percent discipline, like learning Latin.  But the good parts\nare, of course, simply amazing.  God is an extremely uneven writer, but\nwhen He\'s good, nobody can touch Him.\n\t\t-- John Gardner, NYT Book Review, Jan 1983\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21374,59,'\nOne thing I have no worry about is whether God exists.  But it has\noccurred to me that God has Alzheimer\'s and has forgotten we exist.\n\t\t-- Jane Wagner, \"The Search for Signs of Intelligent\n\t\t   Life in the Universe\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21375,59,'\nOne, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at\nthe stake while the votes were being counted.\n\t\t-- Thomas B. Reed\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21376,59,'\nPain is just God\'s way of hurting you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21377,59,'\nPaster Crosstalk:\tWhat items are specifically mentioned by GOD as being\n\tunclean?  Now did you know... preying birds... praying mantises...\n\tAll birds of prey, all carrion eaters, fish eaters -- no good, can\'t\n\teat those.  Nothing that does not have both fins and scales.  Most\n\tCREEPING things...\nAlvarado:\tHow \'bout caterpillars?\nP:\tA caterpillar doesn\'t have a backbone.  Nothing without a backbone\n\tcan get in.\nA:\tHow do you know?  You char a caterpillar, it gets real stiff!\nP:\tWell, I don\'t think that the Lord meant us to eat CHARRED\n\tCATERPILLARS!\n[...]\nP:\tThe hog, the squirrel... little squirrels.  Who would want to eat\n\ta LITTLE SQUIRREL?\nA:\tIf you\'re starving.  If you\'re starving in the park one day.\nP:\tYou\'d probably just CHAR \'em to get \'em stiff, wouldn\'t ya?\nA:\tNo, you SINGE \'em.  You SINGE \'em and eat \'em.  *I* read about the\n\tDonner Pass, I know what man does when he\'s hungry.\nP:\tSquirrels eating squirrels -- my GOD, that\'s sick!\nA:\tThat\'s sick, SURE.  But a MAN eating a squirrel -- that\'s (heh, heh)\n\tpar for the course, Charlie.\n\t\t-- Firesign Theatre\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21378,59,'\nPope Goestheveezl was the shortest reigning pope in the history of the\nChurch, reigning for two hours and six minutes on 1 April 1866.  The\nwhite smoke had hardly faded into the blue of the Vatican skies before it\ndawned on the assembled multitudes in St. Peter\'s Square that his name\nhad hilarious possibilities.  The crowds fell about, helpless with\nlaughter, singing\n\tHalf a pound of tuppenny rice\n\tHalf a pound of treacle\n\tThat\'s the way the chimney smokes\n\tPope Goestheveezl\nThe square was finally cleared by armed carabineri with tears of laughter\nstreaming down their faces.  The event set a record for hilarious civic\nfunctions, smashing the previous record set when Baron Hans Neizant\nB\"\bompzidaize was elected Landburgher of K\"\boln in 1653.\n\t\t-- Mike Harding, \"The Armchair Anarchist\'s Almanac\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21379,59,'\nPraise the Lord and pass the ammunition.\n                -- Stephen Coonts, \"The Minotaur\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21380,59,'\nPrisons are built with stones of Law, brothels with bricks of Religion.\n\t\t-- Blake\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21381,59,'\nReligion has done love a great service by making it a sin.\n\t\t-- Anatole France\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21382,59,'\nReligion is a crutch, but that\'s okay... humanity is a cripple.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21383,59,'\nReligion is fine, Churchianity sucks.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21384,59,'\nReligion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.\n\t\t-- Napoleon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21385,59,'\nReligions revolve madly around sexual questions.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21386,59,'\nSeems like these four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three\nwere always in accord against the fourth.  One day, the odd rabbi out, with\nthe usual \"3 to 1, majority rules\" statement that signified that he had lost\nagain, decided to appeal to a higher authority.  \"Oh, God!\" he cried.  \"I\nknow in my heart that I am right and they are wrong!  Please show me a sign,\nso they too will know that I understand Your laws.\"\n\tIt was a beautiful, sunny day.  As soon as the rabbi finished his\nplaint, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four.  It rumbled once\nand dissolved.  \"A sign from God!  See, I\'m right, I knew it!\"  But the other\nthree disagreed, pointing out that stormclouds form on hot days.\n\tSo he asked again: \"Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am\nright and they are wrong.  So please, God, a bigger sign.\"\n\tThis time four stormclouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form\none big cloud, and a bolt of lightning knocked down a tree ten feet away from\nthe rabbis.  The cloud dispersed at once.  \"I told you I was right!\" insisted\nthe loner, but the others insisted that nothing had happened that could not\nbe explained by natural causes.\n\tThe insisting rabbi is all ready to ask for a *very big* sign when\njust as he says \"Oh God...\" the sky turns pitch black, the earth shakes, and\na deep, booming voice intones, \"HEEEEEEEE\'S RIIIIIIIGHT!\"\n\tThe sky returns to normal.  The one rabbi puts his hands on his hips\nand snarls, \"Well?\"  \"Okay, okayyyy,\" replied another, \"so now it\'s 3 to 2!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21387,59,'\nSeems like this farmer purchased an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans\nto turn it into a thriving enterprise.  The fields are grown over with weeds,\nthe farmhouse is falling apart, and the fences are collapsing all around.\nDuring his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man\'s\nwork, praying, \"May you and God work together to make this the farm of your\ndreams!\"\n\tA few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer.\nLo and behold, it\'s like a completely different place -- the farm house is\ncompletely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there is plenty of cattle and\nother livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields\nare filled with crops planted in neat rows.  \"Amazing!\" the preacher says.\n\"Look what God and you have accomplished together!\"\n\t\"Yes, reverend,\" replies the farmer, \"but remember what the farm was\nlike when God was working it alone!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21388,59,'\nShe say, Miss Colie, You better hush.  God might hear you.  Let \'im hear me,\nI say.  If he ever listened to poor colored women the world would be a\ndifferent place, I can tell you.\n\t\t-- Alice Walker, \"The Color Purple\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21389,59,'\nSi Dieu n\'existait pas, il faudrait l\'inventer.\n\t[If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.]\n\t\t-- Voltaire\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21390,59,'\nSixtus V, Pope from 1585 to 1590 authorized a printing of the Vulgate\nBible.  Taking no chances, the pope issued a papal bull automatically\nexcommunicating any printer who might make an alteration in the text.\nThis he ordered printed at the beginning of the Bible.  He personally\nexamined every sheet as it came off the press.  Yet the published\nVulgate Bible contained so many errors that corrected scraps had to be\nprinted and pasted over them in every copy.  The result provoked wry\ncomments on the rather patchy papal infallibility, and Pope Sixtus had\nno recourse but to order the return and destruction of every copy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21391,59,'\nSmile, Cthulhu Loathes You.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21392,59,'\nSo far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of\nintelligence.\n\t\t-- Bertrand Russell\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21393,59,'\nSo, if there\'s no God, who changes the water?\n\t\t-- New Yorker cartoon of two goldfish in a bowl\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21394,59,'\nSo, what\'s with this guy Gideon, anyway?  And why can\'t he ever remember\nhis Bible?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21395,59,'\nSo... how come the Corinthians never wrote back?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21396,59,'\nSome people seem to think that \"damn\" is God\'s last name.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21397,59,'\nSome things have to be believed to be seen.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21398,59,'\nSuch evil deeds could religion prompt.\n\t\t-- Titus Lucretius Carus\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21399,59,'\nSure banking is Biblical!\n\nHow about when Onan received a substantial penalty for early withdrawal?\nOr when Pharaoh\'s daughter went into the bulrushes and came out with a\nlittle prophet?  And it was Moses who led the Children of Israel to the\nBanks of the Jordan!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21400,59,'\nTaoism: Shit Happens.\nConfucianism: Confucious say, \"Shit Happens\".\nBuddhism: If shit happens, it isn\'t really shit.\nHinduism: This shit has happened before.\nProtestantism: Shit happens, but it happens to someone else.\nCatholicism: Shit happens, but you deserved it.\nJudaism: Why does shit always happen to US?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21401,59,'\nTermiter\'s argument that God is His own grandmother generated a surprising\namount of controversy among Church leaders, who on the one hand considered\nthe argument unsupported by scripture but on the other hand were unwilling\nto risk offending God\'s grandmother.\n\t\t-- Len Cool, \"American Pie\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21402,59,'\nTertullian was born in Carthage somewhere about 160 A.D.  He was a pagan,\nand he abandoned himself to the lascivious life of his city until about\nhis 35th year, when he became a Christian. [...]  To him is ascribed the\nsublime confession: Credo quia absurdum est (I believe because it is absurd).\nThis does not altogether accord with historical fact, for he merely said:\n\t\"And the Son of God died, which is immediately credible because it\n\tis absurd.  And buried he rose again, which is certain because it\n\tis impossible.\"\nThanks to the acuteness of his mind, he saw through the poverty of\nphilosophical and Gnostic knowledge, and contemptuously rejected it.\n\t\t-- C.G. Jung, \"Psychological Types\"\n\t[Tertullian was one of the founders of the Catholic Church.  Ed.]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21403,59,'\n\"That\'s no answer,\" Job said, \"And for someone who\'s supposed to be\nomnipotent, let me tell you \'tabernacle\' has only one l.\"\n\t\t-- Woody Allen, \"Without Feathers\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21404,59,'\nThe Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion.  I could\nnever give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma.\n\t\t-- Abraham Lincoln\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21405,59,'\nThe clergy successfully preached the doctrines of patience and pusillanimity;\nthe active virtues of society were discouraged; and the last remains of a\nmilitary spirit were buried in the cloister: a large portion of public and\nprivate wealth was consecrated to the specious demands of charity and devotion;\nand the soldiers\' pay was lavished on the useless multitudes of both sexes\nwho could only plead the merits of abstinence and chastity.\n\t\t-- Edward Gibbons, \"The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21406,59,'\nThe day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being\nas his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of\nthe generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.  But we may hope that the\ndawn of reason and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with\nthis artificial scaffolding and restore to us the primitive and genuine\ndoctrines of this most venerated Reformer of human errors.\n\t\t-- Thomas Jefferson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21407,59,'\n\tThe devout Jew was beside himself because his son had been dating\na shiksa, so he went to visit his rabbi.  The rabbi listened solemnly to\nhis problem, took his hand, and said, \"Pray to God.\"\n\tSo the Jew went to the synagogue, bowed his head, and prayed, \"God,\nplease help me.  My son, my favorite son, he\'s going to marry a shiksa, he\nsees nothing but goyim...\"\n\t\"Your son,\" boomed down this voice from the heavens, \"you think\nyou got problems.  What about my son?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21408,59,'\nThe divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity.  Nowhere in\nthe Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines,\nand whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity.\n\t\t-- John Adams\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21409,59,'\n\"The easy confidence with which I know another man\'s religion is folly\nteaches me to suspect that my own is also.\"\n\n\"I would not interfere with any one\'s religion, either to strengthen it\nor to weaken it.  I am not able to believe one\'s religion can affect his\nhereafter one way or the other, no matter what that religion may be.\nBut it may easily be a great comfort to him in this life -- hence it is a\nvaluable posession to him.\"\n\n\"I do not see how eternal punishment hereafter could accomplish any good\nend, therefore I am not able to believe in it. To chasten a man in order\nto perfect him might be reasonable enough; to annihilate him when he shall\nhave proved himself incapable of reaching perfection mught be reasonable\nenough; but to roast him forever for the mere satisfaction of seeing him\nroast would not be reasonable -- even the atrocious God imagined by the Jews\nwould tire of the spectacle eventually.\"\n\t\t-- Mark Twain\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21410,59,'\nThe ecumenical movement has reached a milestone with the agreement on the\ntext of the first Jewish-Catholic prayer -- one that begins \"Oy vay, Maria\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21411,59,'\n... The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost would never throw the Devil\nout of Heaven as long as they still need him as a fourth for bridge.\n\t\t-- Letter in NEW LIBERTARIAN NOTES #19\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21412,59,'\nThe first and almost the only Book deserving of universal attention is\nthe Bible.\n\t\t-- John Quincy Adams\n\nAll the good from the Saviour of the world is communicated through this Book;\nbut for the Book we could not know right from wrong.  All the things desirable\nto man are contained in it.\n\t\t-- Abraham Lincoln\n\n... the Bible ... is the one supreme source of revelation of the meaning of\nlife, the nature of God and spirtual nature and need of men.  It is the only\nguide of life which really leads the spirit in the way of peace and salvation.\n\t\t-- Woodrow Wilson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21413,59,'\nThe good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty\nprophecies.  The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant\nwith the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.\n\t\t-- St. Augustine\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21414,59,'\nThe infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists.\nThat is why they invented hell.\n\t\t-- Bertrand Russell\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21415,59,'\nThe Israelites were all waiting anxiously at the foot of the mountain,\nknowing that Moses had had a tough day negotiating with God over the\nCommandments.  Finally a tired Moses came into sight.\n\t\"I\'ve got some good news and some bad news, folks,\" he said.  \"The\ngood news is that I got Him down to ten.  The bad news is that adultery\'s\nstill in.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21416,59,'\nThe Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.\nIndian Giver be the name of the Lord.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21417,59,'\nThe Messiah will come.  There will be a resurrection of the dead -- all\nthe things that Jews believed in before they got so damn sophisticated.\n\t\t-- Rabbi Meir Kahane\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21418,59,'\nThe Most Unsuccessful Version Of The Bible\n\tThe most exciting version of the Bible was printed in 1631 by Robert\nBarker and Martin Lucas, the King\'s printers at London.  It contained\nseveral mistakes, but one was inspired -- the word \"not\" was omitted from\nthe Seventh Commandment and enjoined its readers, on the highest authority,\nto commit adultery.\n\tFearing the popularity with which this might be received in remote\ncountry districts, King Charles I called all 1,000 copies back in and fined\nthe printers L3,000.\n\t\t-- Stephen Pile, \"The Book of Heroic Failures\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21419,59,'\nThe nearer to the church, the further from God.\n\t\t-- John Heywood\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21420,59,'\nThe new priest was so nervous about performing his first mass that he could\nhardly speak.  He asked his Monsignor how he could relax.  The Monsignor\nreplied that it might help relax him to add just a bit of vodka to the water\npitcher.  The next Sunday, after following the Monsignor\'s advice, the priest\nreturned to the rectory to find a note from that worthy.\n\n\t(1) Next time sip rather than gulp.\n\t(2) There are ten commandments, not 12.\n\t(3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.\n\t(4) We do not refer to the cross as the \"Big T\".\n\t(5) The recommended grace before meals is not,\n\t\t\"Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, Yaaaay, God!\"\n\t(6) Do not refer to our Saviour, Jesus Christ, and his\n\t\tApostles as \"J.C. and the Boys\".\n\t(7) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.\n\t(8) The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost are never referred\n\t\tto as, \"Big Daddy, Junior, and the Spook\".\n\t(9) It is always the Virgin Mary, never The Mary with the Cherry.\n\t(10) Last, but not least, next Wednesday there will be a\n\t\tTaffy-Pulling Contest at St.Peter\'s, not a Peter-Pulling\n\t\tContest at St. Taffy\'s.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21421,59,'\nThe only excuse for God is that he doesn\'t exist.\n\t\t-- Stendhal\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21422,59,'\nThe only thing that stops God from sending a second Flood is that\nthe first one was useless.\n\t\t-- Nicolas Chamfort\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21423,59,'\nThe priest at Sunday mass noticed that Michael took a ten-dollar bill and two\none-dollar bills from the collection plate, instead of putting something in.\nHe thought to himself, I\'d better watch out for Michael.  The next week he\nnoticed the same thing.  So he waited outside church when mass was over, and\nas Michael came out, he accosted his and said,\n\t\"Michael, tell me -- why did you take out a ten-dollar bill and two\nsingles two weeks in a row, instead of putting money into the collection?\"\n\tMichael replied, \"Father, I\'m embarrassed, but I did it because I\nwanted to go downtown for a blow job.\"\n\tThe priest looked suprised but said to Michael, \"Listen, don\'t do\nthat anymore.  I\'ll be watching you from now on.\"\n\tWhen he got back to the rectory, the priest was still perplexed.\nFinally he decided to call Mother Agatha at the convent.  He said, \"Mother,\nyou\'ve been such a great friend of mine, I have a question I need to ask you.\nWhat is a blow job?\"\n\tMother Agatha replied, \"Oh, twelve dollars, same as downtown.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21424,59,'\nThe reason Roman Catholics are allowed to use the rhythm method of birth\ncontrol is that it doesn\'t work.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21425,59,'\nThe somewhat old and crusty vicar was taking a well-earned retirement from\nhis rather old and crusty parish.  As is usual in these cases, a locum was\nsent to cover the transition period.  This particular man was young and\nactive, and had the strange notion that church should also be active and\nexciting.  As a consequence he was more than a little dissapointed with the\ndull and tradition-bound church.  He decided to do something about it.\n\tFor his first Sunday, he didn\'t wear the traditional robes and\nvestments, but lead the service wearing a nice 2-piece suit.  The congregation\nwas horrified!  He changed the order of the service.  The congregation was\nhorrified!  Then came the children\'s lesson.\n\tFor this he came out of the pulpit, and sat on the communion table.\nThe congregation was mortified!  He sat there swinging his legs against\nthe table as the children gathered around him.\n\tHe asked the children, \"What\'s small, brown, furry and eats nuts?\"\n\tThere was total silence.\n\tHe asked again, \"What\'s small, brown, furry and eats nuts?\"\n\tTotal silence.\n\tEventually, one timid youngster put up his hand and said, \"Please,\nsir, I know the answer is Jesus, but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21426,59,'\nThe Unitarians are really just a bunch of atheists who really like going to\nchurch.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21427,59,'\nThe Utah version of this joke goes:\n\tOne of the Council of the Twelve runs breathlessly into the Presidents\'\noffice one day.  The President looks up and says \"Brother, what is so important\nthat you ran all the way here, losing your breath?\"\n\tThe Council member finally regains his breath, and says \"The Savior is\nin the lobby!!\"\n\tThe President immediate starts for the door, crying \"It has come!  The\nprophecies are fullfilled!  We are all about to be uplifted!\"\n\tThe Council member says \"Wait!  You didn\'t let me finish!  She\'s...\nblack, and SHE IS PISSED!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21428,59,'\nThe wages of sin are high -- unless you know someone who does it for nothing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21429,59,'\nThe whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence\nfrom Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum.\n\t\t-- Havelock Ellis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21430,59,'\nTheology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand\nit.  The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner.\n\t\t-- Elbert Hubbard\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21431,59,'\nThere are no physicists in the hottest parts of hell, because the existence\nof a \"hottest part\" implies a temperature difference, and any marginally\ncompetent physicist would immediately use this to run a heat engine and make\nsome other part of hell comfortably cool.  This is obviously impossible.\n\t\t-- Richard Davisson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21432,59,'\n\"There is a God, but He drinks\"\n\t\t-- Blore\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21433,59,'\nThere is a limit to the admiration we may hold for a man who spends\nhis waking hours poking the contents of chickens with a stick.\n\t\t-- Tom Robbins, \"Jitterbug Perfume\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21434,59,'\nThere is no ox so dumb as the orthodox.\n\t\t-- George Francis Gillette\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21435,59,'\nThis story concerns a man who, after putting his son to bed each night, would\nstand by his boy\'s door and listen to his son saying his prayers.  One night,\nthe boy ended his prayers with, \"God specially bless Granddad, who won\'t be\nwith us much longer.\"  The man thought this was rather curious, but passed it\noff as childish whimsy.  The next day, however, he received a call from his\nmother, informing him that his father had passed away early that morning.\nDuring the next few weeks, he listened particularly closely to his son\'s\nprayers, but noticed nothing unusual.  Then, one night, the boy ended his\nprayers with, \"God specially bless Grandmom, who won\'t be with us much longer.\"\nAlthough the shock of the original incident had worn off during the intervening\nweeks, he nontheless phoned his mother to inquire as to her health.  He went to\nbed reassured, only to be awakened in the night by his sister calling with the\nnews that their mother had died suddenly in the night.  The father had a series\nof psychological tests done; nothing unusual was uncovered.  About a month \nlater, the boy ended his prayers with, \"God specially bless Daddy, who won\'t\nbe with us much longer.\"  The man was panic-stricken, certain that he was \ngoing to die during the night.  He resolved to stay awake all night; if awake \nand alert he should be able to prevent any tragedy.  Morning came.  Breathing\na huge sigh of relief, he went to get the paper off the porch.  There, lying\ndead on the doorstep, was the milkman.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21436,59,'\nTo be patriotic, hate all nations but your own; to be religious, all sects\nbut your own; to be moral, all pretenses but your own.\n\t\t-- Lionel Strachey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21437,59,'\nTo listen to some devout people, one would imagine that God never laughs.\n\t\t-- Sri Aurobindo\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21438,59,'\nTO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK\'S BLESSING:\n\n\tInsofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care\nwhat I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you\nmay have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.\n\tConversely, if not forgiveness but something else be required\nto insure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the\ndestruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted\nor withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to insure your\nreceving said benefit.\n\tI ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between\nyourself and that which may have an interest in the matter of your receving\nas much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may\nin some way be influenced by this ceremony.\n\tAmen.\n\t\t-- Roger Zelazny, \"Creatures of Light and Darkness\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21439,59,'\n\"To YOU I\'m an atheist; to God, I\'m the Loyal Opposition.\"\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21440,59,'\nUnitarians pray \"To whom it may concern\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21441,59,'\nVatican upholds ban on contraceptives: \"To heir is humane,\" claims the Pope.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21442,59,'\nWe ... make the modern error of dignifying the Individual.  We do everything\nwe can to butter him up.  We give him a name, assure him that he has certain\ninalienable rights, educate him, let him pass on his name to his brats and\nwhen he dies we give him a special hole in the ground ... But after all, he\'s\nonly  a seed, a bloom and a withering stalk among pressing billions.  Your\nIndividual is a pretty disgusting, vain, lewd little bastard ... By God,\nhe has only one right guaranteed him in Nature, and that is the right to die\nand stink to Heaven.\n\t\t-- Ross Lockridge, quoted in \"Short Lives\" by Katinka Matson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21443,59,'\nWe may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern\ntheir spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the center of\ntheir spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prohpet, nor\nChristians that Shinto best expresses their spiritual concerns, to say\nnothing of the fact that we may not be able to get Christians to agree among\nthemselves about their relationship to God.  But all will agree on a\nproposition that they possess profound spiritual resources.  If, in addition,\nwe can get them to accept the further proposition that whatever form the Deity\nmay have in their own theology, the Deity is not only external, but internal\nand acts through them, and they themselves give proof or disproof of the\nDeity in what they do and think; if this further proposition can be accepted,\nthen we come that much closer to a truly religious situation on earth.\n\t\t-- Norman Cousins, from his book \"Human Options\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21444,59,'\nWe must respect the other fellow\'s religion, but only in the sense and to\nthe extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his\nchildren smart.\n\t\t-- H.L. Mencken, \"Minority Report\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21445,59,'\n\"Well, we\'ve come full circle, Lord; I\'d like to think there\'s some\nhigher meaning to all this.  It would certainly reflect well on you.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21446,59,'\nWell, you see there was this neighborhood that had a priest, a minister, and\na rabbi who lived near each other.  One summer afternoon the priest went out\nand bought himself a new car, and the minister and rabbi, not to be outdone,\ndid the same.\n\tThe next day the priest went out and blessed his car.  The minister\nhired a crane and baptized his car in a swimming pool.  The rabbi, after\nthinking seriously for a bit, got a hacksaw and cut three inches off the end\nof the tail pipe.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21447,59,'\n\t\"What are you doing?\"\n\t\"Examining the world\'s major religions.  I\'m looking for something\nthat\'s light on morals, has lots of holidays, and with a short initiation\nperiod.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21448,59,'\nWhat good is having someone who can walk on water if you don\'t follow\nin his footsteps?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21449,59,'\nWhat if there had been room at the inn?\n\t\t-- Linda Festa on the origins of Christianity\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21450,59,'\nWhat is good?  Everything that heightens the feeling of power in man, the\nwill to power, power itself.  What is bad?  Everything that is born of\nweakness.  Not contentedness but more power; not peace but war; not virtue\nbut fitness.  The weak and the failures shall perish: first principle of\nour love of man.  And they shall even be given every possible assistance.\nWhat is more harmful than any vice?  Active pity for all the failures and\nall the weak: Christianity.\n\t\t-- Friedrich Nietzsche\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21451,59,'\n\t\"What the hell are you getting so upset about?  I thought you didn\'t\nbelieve in God.\"\n\t\"I don\'t,\" she sobbed, bursting violently into tears, \"but the God I\ndon\'t believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God.  He\'s not the\nmean and stupid God you make Him out to be.\"\n\t\t-- Joseph Heller, \"Catch-22\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21452,59,'\nWhen Cthulhu calls, He calls collect!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21453,59,'\nWhen somebody protested at [Pope Alexander VI\'s] wholesale distribution of\npardons for the most heinous crimes -- one of which included the murder of\na daughter by the father -- he retorted easily, \"It is not God\'s will that\na sinner should die, but that he should live -- and pay.\"\n\t\t-- E.R. Chamberlin, \"The Bad Popes\"\n\nJudas sold Christ for 30 denari, this man [Pope Alexander VI] would sell\nhim for 29.\n\t\t-- Ottaviano Ubaldini, chamberlain to Pope Alexander VI\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21454,59,'\nWhy attack God?  He may be as miserable as we are.\n\t\t-- Erik Satie\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21455,59,'\nWhy I am an atheist:\n\n1. Atheists do not believe in higher powers.\n2. God is the highest power.\n3. Therefore, God must be an atheist.\n4. We should all strive to be like God.\n5. We should all be atheists.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21456,59,'\nWhy, when no honest man will deny in private that every ultimate problem is\nwrapped in the profoundest mystery, do honest men proclaim in pulpits that\nunhesitating certainty is the duty of the most foolish and ignorant?  Is it\nnot a spectacle to make the angels laugh?  We are a company of ignorant\nbeings, feeling our way through mists and darkness, learning only be\nincessantly repeated blunders, obtaining a glimmering of truth by falling\ninto every conceivable error, dimly discerning light enough for our daily\nneeds, but hopelessly differing whenever we attempt to describe the ultimate\norigin or end of our paths; and yet, when one of us ventures to declare that\nwe don\'t know the map of the universe as well as the map of our infintesimal\nparish, he is hooted, reviled, and perhaps told that he will be damned to all\neternity for his faithlessness.\n\t\t-- Leslie Stephen, \"An Agnostic\'s Apology\",\n\t\t   Fortnightly Review, 1876\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21457,59,'\nYeah, God is dead, he laughed himself to death.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21458,59,'\n\t\"You little (such a one who, while wearing a copper nose ring,\nstands in a footbath atop Mount Raruaruaha during a heavy thunderstorm and\nshouts that Alohura, Goddess of Lightning, has the facial features of a\ndiseased uloruaha root)!\"\n\t\t-- Terry Pratchett, \"The Colour of Magic\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21459,59,'\nYour chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree,\nshake your fist at the sky, and say, \"Storms suck!\"\n\t\t-- Johnny Carson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21460,60,'FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #13\nA:\tDoc, Happy, Bashful, Dopey, Sneezy, Sleepy, & Grumpy\nQ:\tWho were the Democratic presidential candidates?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21461,60,'\nFORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #15\nA:\tThe Royal Canadian Mounted Police.\nQ:\tWhat was the greatest achievement in taxidermy?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21462,60,'\nFORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #19\nA:\tTo be or not to be.\nQ:\tWhat is the square root of 4b^2?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21463,60,'\nFORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #21\nA:\tDr. Livingston I. Presume.\nQ:\tWhat\'s Dr. Presume\'s full name?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21464,60,'\nFORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #31\nA:\tChicken Teriyaki.\nQ:\tWhat is the name of the world\'s oldest kamikaze pilot?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21465,60,'\nFORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #4\nA:\tGo west, young man, go west!\nQ:\tWhat do wabbits do when they get tiwed of wunning awound?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21466,60,'\nFORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #5\nA:\tThe Halls of Montezuma and the Shores of Tripoli.\nQ:\tName two families whose kids won\'t join the Marines.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21467,60,'\nKnock, knock!\n\tWho\'s there?\nSam and Janet.\n\tSam and Janet who?\nSam and Janet Evening...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21468,60,'\nKnucklehead:\t\"Knock, knock\"\nPee Wee:\t\"Who\'s there?\"\nKnucklehead:\t\"Little ol\' lady.\"\nPee Wee:\t\"Liddle ol\' lady who?\"\nKnucklehead:\t\"I didn\'t know you could yodel\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21469,60,'\nQ:\t\"What is the burning question on the mind of every dyslexic\n\texistentialist?\"\nA:\t\"Is there a dog?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21470,60,'\nQ:\tAre we not men?\nA:\tWe are Vaxen.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21471,60,'\nQ:\tDo you know what the death rate around here is?\nA:\tOne per person.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21472,60,'\nQ:\tHeard about the <ethnic> who couldn\'t spell?\nA:\tHe spent the night in a warehouse.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21473,60,'\nQ:\tHow can you tell when a Burroughs salesman is lying?\nA:\tWhen his lips move.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21474,60,'\nQ:\tHow did you get into artificial intelligence?\nA:\tSeemed logical -- I didn\'t have any real intelligence.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21475,60,'\nQ:\tHow do you catch a unique rabbit?\nA:\tUnique up on it!\n\nQ:\tHow do you catch a tame rabbit?\nA:\tThe tame way!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21476,60,'\nQ:\tHow do you keep a moron in suspense?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21477,60,'\nQ:\tHow do you know when you\'re in the <ethnic> section of Vermont?\nA:\tThe maple sap buckets are hanging on utility poles.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21478,60,'\nQ:\tHow do you play religious roulette?\nA:\tYou stand around in a circle and blaspheme and see who gets\n\tstruck by lightning first.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21479,60,'\nQ:\tHow do you save a drowning lawyer?\nA:\tThrow him a rock.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21480,60,'\nQ:\tHow do you shoot a blue elephant?\nA:\tWith a blue-elephant gun.\n\nQ:\tHow do you shoot a pink elephant?\nA:\tTwist its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with\n\ta blue-elephant gun.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21481,60,'\nQ:\tHow do you stop an elephant from charging?\nA:\tTake away his credit cards.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21482,60,'\nQ:\tHow does a hacker fix a function which\n\tdoesn\'t work for all of the elements in its domain?\nA:\tHe changes the domain.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21483,60,'\nQ:\tHow does the Polish Constitution differ from the American?\nA:\tUnder the Polish Constitution citizens are guaranteed freedom of\n\tspeech, but under the United States constitution they are\n\tguaranteed freedom after speech.\n\t\t-- being told in Poland, 1987\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21484,60,'\nQ:\tHow many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?\nA:\tThat\'s proprietary information.  Answer available from AT&T on payment\n\tof license fee (binary only).\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21485,60,'\nQ:\tHow many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nA:\tTwo.  One to assure everyone that everything possible is being\n\tdone while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21486,60,'\nQ:\tHow many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\nA:\tFive.  One to screw in the lightbulb and four to share the\n\t\texperience.  (Actually, Californians don\'t screw in\n\t\tlightbulbs, they screw in hot tubs.)\n\nQ:\tHow many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nA:\tThree.  One to screw in the lightbulb and two to fend off all\n\t\tthose Californians trying to share the experience.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21487,60,'\nQ:\tHow many college football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\nA:\tOnly one, but he gets three credits for it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21488,60,'\nQ:\tHow many DEC repairman does it take to fix a flat?\nA:\tFive; four to hold the car up and one to swap tires.\n\nQ:\tHow long does it take?\nA:\tIt\'s indeterminate.\n\tIt will depend upon how many flats they\'ve brought with them.\n\nQ:\tWhat happens if you\'ve got TWO flats?\nA:\tThey replace your generator.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21489,60,'\nQ:\tHow many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug?\nA:\tFour.  Two in the front, two in the back.\n\nQ:\tHow can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator?\nA:\tThere\'s a footprint in the mayo.\n\nQ:\tHow can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator?\nA:\tThere\'s two footprints in the mayo.\n\nQ:\tHow can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator?\nA:\tThe door won\'t shut.\n\nQ:\tHow can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator?\nA:\tThere\'s a VW Bug in your driveway.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21490,60,'\nQ:\tHow many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\nA:\tTwo.  One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb\n\titself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective\n\treality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a\n\tmaudlin cosmos of nothingness.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21491,60,'\nQ:\tHow many gradual (sorry, that\'s supposed to be \"graduate\") students\n\tdoes it take to screw in a lightbulb?\nA:\t\"I\'m afraid we don\'t know, but make my stipend tax-free, give my\n\tadvisor a $30,000 grant of the taxpayer\'s money, and I\'m sure he\n\tcan tell me how to do the shit work for him so he can take the\n\tcredit for answering this incredibly vital question.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21492,60,'\nQ:\tHow many hardware engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?\nA:\tNone.  We\'ll fix it in software.\n\nQ:\tHow many system programmers does it take to change a light bulb?\nA:\tNone.  The application can work around it.\n\nQ:\tHow many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?\nA:\tNone.  We\'ll document it in the manual.\n\nQ:\tHow many tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb?\nA:\tNone.  The user can figure it out.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21493,60,'\nQ:\tHow many Harvard MBA\'s does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\nA:\tJust one.  He grasps it firmly and the universe revolves around him.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21494,60,'\nQ:\tHow many IBM 370\'s does it take to execute a job?\nA:\tFour, three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21495,60,'\nQ:\tHow many IBM CPU\'s does it take to do a logical right shift?\nA:\t33.  1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21496,60,'\nQ:\tHow many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?\nA:\tFifteen.  One to do it, and fourteen to write document number\n\tGC7500439-0001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility,\n\tof which 10');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21497,60,' of the pages state only \"This page intentionally\n\tleft blank\", and 20');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21498,60,' of the definitions are of the form \"A:.....\n\tconsists of sequences of non-blank characters separated by blanks\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21499,60,'\nQ:\tHow many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\nA:\tThree.  One to report it as an inspired government program to bring\n\tlight to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot\n\tto deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for\n\treporting that Electric Company hired a lightbulb-assassin to break\n\tthe bulb in the first place.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21500,60,'\nQ:\tHow many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?\nA:\tOne.  Only it\'s his light bulb when he\'s done.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21501,60,'\nQ:\tHow many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?\nA:\tWhereas the party of the first part, also known as \"Lawyer\", and the\nparty of the second part, also known as \"Light Bulb\", do hereby and forthwith\nagree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part shall be removed\nfrom the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed\nupon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of\nthe area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating\nat an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of\nthe carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the\nsecond part and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the\nparties.\n\tThe aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be\nlimited to, the following.  The party of the first part shall, with or without\nelevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other\nmeans of elevation, grasp the party of the second part and rotate the party\nof the second part in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being tendered\nnon-negotiable.  Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part\nbecomes fully detached from the receptacle, the party of the first part shall\nhave the option of disposing of the party of the second part in a manner\nconsistent with all relevant and applicable local, state and federal statutes.\nOnce separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part\nshall have the option of beginning installation.  Aforesaid installation shall\noccur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in\nstep one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation\nshould occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable.\nThe above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the\nfirst part, by any or all agents authorized by him, the objective being to\nproduce the most possible revenue for the Partnership.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21502,60,'\nQ:\tHow many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?\nA:\tYou won\'t find a lawyer who can change a light bulb.  Now, if\n\tyou\'re looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21503,60,'\nQ:\tHow many marketing people does it take to change a lightbulb?\nA:\tI\'ll have to get back to you on that.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21504,60,'\nQ:\tHow many Martians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\nA:\tOne and a half.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21505,60,'\nQ:\tHow many Marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\nA:\tNone:  The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21506,60,'\nQ:\tHow many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\nA:\tOne.  He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem\n\tto the earlier joke.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21507,60,'\nQ:\tHow many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a\n\tlight bulb?\nA:\tSeven.  Scotty has to report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in\n\tthe Engineering Section is getting dim, at which point Kirk will send\n\tBones to pronounce the bulb dead (although he\'ll immediately claim\n\tthat he\'s a doctor, not an electrician).  Scotty, after checking\n\taround, realizes that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains\n\tthat he \"canna\" see in the dark.  Kirk will make an emergency stop at\n\tthe next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb\n\tfrom the natives, who, are friendly, but seem to be hiding something.\n\tKirk, Spock, Bones, Yeoman Rand and two red shirt security officers\n\tbeam down to the planet, where the two security officers are promply\n\tkilled by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured.\n\tAs something begins to develop between the Captain and Yeoman Rand,\n\tScotty, back in orbit, is attacked by a Klingon destroyer and must\n\twarp out of orbit.  Although badly outgunned, he cripples the Klingon\n\tand races back to the planet in order to rescue Kirk et. al. who have\n\tjust saved the natives\' from an awful fate and, as a reward, been\n\tgiven all lightbulbs they can carry.  The new bulb is then inserted\n\tand the Enterprise continues on its five year mission.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21508,60,'\nQ:\tHow many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nA:\tThree.  One to screw in the lightbulb and two to fend off all those\n\tCalifornians trying to share the experience.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21509,60,'\nQ:\tHow many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?\nA:\tOnly one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has\n\tto really want to change.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21510,60,'\nQ:\tHow many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?\nA:\tNone.  The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21511,60,'\nQ:\tHow many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?\nA:\tTwo, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub\n\twith brightly colored machine tools.\n\n\t[Surrealist jokes just aren\'t my cup of fur.  Ed.]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21512,60,'\nQ:\tHow many WASPs does it take to change a lightbulb?\nA:\tOne.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21513,60,'\nQ:\tHow many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nA:\tNone.  The Universe spins the bulb, and the Zen master stays out\n\tof the way.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21514,60,'\nQ:\tHow much does it cost to ride the Unibus?\nA:\t2 bits.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21515,60,'\nQ:\tHow was Thomas J. Watson buried?\nA:\t9 edge down.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21516,60,'\nQ:\tKnow what the difference between your latest project\n\tand putting wings on an elephant is?\nA:\tWho knows?  The elephant *might* fly, heh, heh...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21517,60,'\nQ:\tMinnesotans ask, \"Why aren\'t there more pharmacists from Alabama?\"\nA:\tEasy.  It\'s because they can\'t figure out how to get the little\n\tbottles into the typewriter.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21518,60,'\nQ:\tWhat did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?\nA:\t\"The elephants are coming over the hill.\"\n\nQ:\tWhat did he say when saw them coming over the hill wearing\n\t\tsunglasses?\nA:\tNothing, for he didn\'t recognize them.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21519,60,'\nQ:\tWhat do agnostic, insomniac dyslexics do at night?\nA:\tStay awake and wonder if there\'s a dog.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21520,60,'\nQ:\tWhat do little WASPs want to be when they grow up?\nA:\tThe very best person they can possibly be.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21521,60,'\nQ:\tWhat do monsters eat?\nA:\tThings.\n\nQ:\tWhat do monsters drink?\nA:\tCoke.  (Because Things go better with Coke.)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21522,60,'\nQ:\tWhat do they call the alphabet in Arkansas?\nA:\tThe impossible dream.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21523,60,'\nQ:\tWhat do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?\nA:\tThe same middle name.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21524,60,'\nQ:\tWhat do you call 15 blondes in a circle?\nA:\tA dope ring.\n\nQ:\tWhy do blondes put their hair in ponytails?\nA:\tTo cover up the valve stem.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21525,60,'\nQ:\tWhat do you call a blind pre-historic animal?\nA:\tDiyathinkhesaurus.\n\nQ:\tWhat do you call a blind pre-historic animal with a dog?\nA:\tDiyathinkhesaurus Rex.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21526,60,'\nQ:\tWhat do you call a blind, deaf-mute, quadraplegic Virginian?\nA:\tTrustworthy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21527,60,'\nQ:\tWhat do you call a boomerang that doesn\'t come back?\nA:\tA stick.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21528,60,'\nQ:\tWhat do you call a half-dozen Indians with Asian flu?\nA:\tSix sick Sikhs (sic).\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21529,60,'\nQ:\tWhat do you call a principal female opera singer whose high C\n\tis lower than those of other principal female opera singers?\nA:\tA deep C diva.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21530,60,'\nQ:\tWhat do you call a WASP who doesn\'t work for his father, isn\'t a\n\tlawyer, and believes in social causes?\nA:\tA failure.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21531,60,'\nQ:\tWhat do you call the money you pay to the government when\n\tyou ride into the country on the back of an elephant?\nA:\tA howdah duty.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21532,60,'\nQ:\tWhat do you call the scratches that you get when a female\n\tsheep bites you?\nA:\tEwe nicks.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21533,60,'\nQ:\tWhat do you get when you cross a mobster with an international standard?\nA:\tYou get someone who makes you an offer that you can\'t understand!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21534,60,'\nQ:\tWhat do you get when you cross the Godfather with an attorney?\nA:\tAn offer you can\'t understand.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21535,60,'\nQ:\tWhat do you have when you have a lawyer buried up to his neck in sand?\nA:\tNot enough sand.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21536,60,'\nQ:\tWhat do you say to a New Yorker with a job?\nA:\tBig Mac, fries and a Coke, please!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21537,60,'\nQ:\tWhat do you say to a Puerto Rican in a three-piece suit?\nA:\tWill the defendant please rise?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21538,60,'\nQ:\tWhat does a WASP Mom make for dinner?\nA:\tA crisp salad, a hearty soup, a lovely entree, followed by\n\ta delicious dessert.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21539,60,'\nQ:\tWhat does friendship among Soviet nationalities mean?\nA:\tIt means that the Armenians take the Russians by the hand; the\n\tRussians take the Ukrainians by the hand; the Ukranians take\n\tthe Uzbeks by the hand; and they all go and beat up the Jews.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21540,60,'\nQ:\tWhat does it say on the bottom of Coke cans in North Dakota?\nA:\tOpen other end.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21541,60,'\nQ:\tWhat happens when four WASPs find themselves in the same room?\nA:\tA dinner party.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21542,60,'\nQ:\tWhat is green and lives in the ocean?\nA:\tMoby Pickle.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21543,60,'\nQ:\tWhat is orange and goes \"click, click?\"\nA:\tA ball point carrot.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21544,60,'\nQ:\tWhat is printed on the bottom of beer bottles in Minnesota?\nA:\tOpen other end.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21545,60,'\nQ:\tWhat is purple and commutes?\nA:\tA boolean grape.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21546,60,'\nQ:\tWhat is purple and commutes?\nA:\tAn Abelian grape.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21547,60,'\nQ:\tWhat is purple and concord the world?\nA:\tAlexander the Grape.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21548,60,'\nQ:\tWhat is the difference between a duck?\nA:\tOne leg is both the same.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21549,60,'\nQ:\tWhat is the difference between Texas and yogurt?\nA:\tYogurt has culture.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21550,60,'\nQ:\tWhat is the sound of one cat napping?\nA:\tMu.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21551,60,'\nQ:\tWhat lies on the bottom of the ocean and twitches?\nA:\tA nervous wreck.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21552,60,'\nQ:\tWhat looks like a cat, flies like a bat, brays like a donkey, and\n\tplays like a monkey?\nA:\tNothing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21553,60,'\nQ:\tWhat\'s a light-year?\nA:\tOne-third less calories than a regular year.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21554,60,'\nQ:\tWhat\'s a WASP\'s idea of open-mindedness?\nA:\tDating a Canadian.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21555,60,'\nQ:\tWhat\'s buried in Grant\'s tomb?\nA:\tA corpse.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21556,60,'\nQ:\tWhat\'s hard going in and soft and sticky coming out?\nA:\tChewing gum.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21557,60,'\nQ:\tWhat\'s tan and black and looks great on a lawyer?\nA:\tA doberman.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21558,60,'\nQ:\tWhat\'s the contour integral around Western Europe?\nA:\tZero, because all the Poles are in Eastern Europe!\n\nAddendum: Actually, there ARE some Poles in Western Europe, but they\n\tare removable!\n\nQ:\tAn English mathematician (I forgot who) was asked by his\n\tvery religious colleague: Do you believe in one God?\nA:\tYes, up to isomorphism!\n\nQ:\tWhat is a compact city?\nA:\tIt\'s a city that can be guarded by finitely many near-sighted\n\tpolicemen!\n\t\t-- Peter Lax\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21559,60,'\nQ:\tWhat\'s the difference betweeen USL and the Graf Zeppelin?\nA:\tThe Graf Zeppelin represented cutting edge technology for its time.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21560,60,'\nQ:\tWhat\'s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead\n\tlawyer in the road?\nA:\tThere are skid marks in front of the dog.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21561,60,'\nQ:\tWhat\'s the difference between a duck and an elephant?\nA:\tYou can\'t get down off an elephant.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21562,60,'\nQ:\tWhat\'s the difference between a JAP and a baby elephant?\nA:\tAbout 10 pounds.\n\nQ:\tHow do you make them the same?\nA:\tForce feed the elephant.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21563,60,'\nQ:\tWhat\'s the difference between a Mac and an Etch-a-Sketch?\nA:\tYou don\'t have to shake the Mac to clear the screen.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21564,60,'\nQ:\tWhat\'s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?\nA:\tOne less drunk.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21565,60,'\nQ:\tWhat\'s the difference between Bell Labs and the Boy Scouts of America?\nA:\tThe Boy Scouts have adult supervision.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21566,60,'\nQ:\tWhat\'s the difference between the 1950\'s and the 1980\'s?\nA:\tIn the 80\'s, a man walks into a drugstore and states loudly, \"I\'d\n\tlike some condoms,\" and then, leaning over the counter, whispers,\n\t\"and some cigarettes.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21567,60,'\nQ:\tWhat\'s the difference between USL and the Titanic?\nA:\tThe Titanic had a band.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21568,60,'\nQ:\tWhat\'s tiny and yellow and very, very, dangerous?\nA:\tA canary with the super-user password.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21569,60,'\nQ:\tWhat\'s yellow, and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice?\nA:\tZorn\'s Lemon.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21570,60,'\nQ:\tWhere\'s the Lone Ranger take his garbage?\nA:\tTo the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump!\n\nQ:\tWhat\'s the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant hill?\nA:\tDead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21571,60,'\nQ:\tWho cuts the grass on Walton\'s Mountain?\nA:\tLawn Boy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21572,60,'\nQ:\tWhy did Menachem Begin invade Lebanon?\nA:\tTo impress Jodie Foster.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21573,60,'\nQ:\tWhy did the astrophysicist order three hamburgers?\nA:\tBecause he was hungry.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21574,60,'\nQ:\tWhy did the chicken cross the road?\nA:\tHe was giving it last rites.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21575,60,'\nQ:\tWhy did the chicken cross the road?\nA:\tTo see his friend Gregory peck.\n\nQ:\tWhy did the chicken cross the playground?\nA:\tTo get to the other slide.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21576,60,'\nQ:\tWhy did the germ cross the microscope?\nA:\tTo get to the other slide.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21577,60,'\nQ:\tWhy did the lone ranger kill Tonto?\nA:\tHe found out what \"kimosabe\" really means.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21578,60,'\nQ:\tWhy did the programmer call his mother long distance?\nA:\tBecause that was her name.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21579,60,'\nQ:\tWhy did the tachyon cross the road?\nA:\tBecause it was on the other side.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21580,60,'\nQ:\tWhy did the WASP cross the road?\nA:\tTo get to the middle.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21581,60,'\nQ:\tWhy do ducks have big flat feet?\nA:\tTo stamp out forest fires.\n\nQ:\tWhy do elephants have big flat feet?\nA:\tTo stamp out flaming ducks.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21582,60,'\nQ:\tWhy do firemen wear red suspenders?\nA:\tTo conform with departmental regulations concerning uniform dress.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21583,60,'\nQ:\tWhy do mountain climbers rope themselves together?\nA:\tTo prevent the sensible ones from going home.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21584,60,'\nQ:\tWhy do people who live near Niagara Falls have flat foreheads?\nA:\tBecause every morning they wake up thinking \"What *is* that noise?\n\tOh, right, *of course*!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21585,60,'\nQ:\tWhy do the police always travel in threes?\nA:\tOne to do the reading, one to do the writing, and the other keeps\n\tan eye on the two intellectuals.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21586,60,'\nQ:\tWhy do WASPs play golf ?\nA:\tSo they can dress like pimps.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21587,60,'\nQ:\tWhy does Washington have the most lawyers per capita and\n\tNew Jersey the most toxic waste dumps?\nA:\tGod gave New Jersey first choice.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21588,60,'\nQ:\tWhy don\'t lawyers go to the beach?\nA:\tThe cats keep trying to bury them.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21589,60,'\nQ:\tWhy don\'t Scotsmen ever have coffee the way they like it?\nA:\tWell, they like it with two lumps of sugar.  If they drink\n\tit at home, they only take one, and if they drink it while\n\tvisiting, they always take three.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21590,60,'\nQ:\tWhy haven\'t you graduated yet?\nA:\tWell, Dad, I could have finished years ago, but I wanted\n\tmy dissertation to rhyme.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21591,60,'\nQ:\tWhy is Christmas just like a day at the office?\nA:\tYou do all of the work and the fat guy in the suit\n\tgets all the credit.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21592,60,'\nQ:\tWhy is it that Mexico isn\'t sending anyone to the \'84 summer games?\nA:\tAnyone in Mexico who can run, swim or jump is already in LA.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21593,60,'\nQ:\tWhy is it that the more accuracy you demand from an interpolation\n\tfunction, the more expensive it becomes to compute?\nA:\tThat\'s the Law of Spline Demand.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21594,60,'\nQ:\tWhy is Poland just like the United States?\nA:\tIn the United States you can\'t buy anything for zlotys and in\n\tPoland you can\'t either, while in the U.S. you can get whatever\n\tyou want for dollars, just as you can in Poland.\n\t\t-- being told in Poland, 1987\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21595,60,'\nQ:\tWhy should you always serve a Southern Carolina football man\n\tsoup in a plate?\nA:\t\'Cause if you give him a bowl, he\'ll throw it away.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21596,60,'\nQ:\tWhy was Stonehenge abandoned?\nA:\tIt wasn\'t IBM compatible.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21597,61,'1 + 1 = 3, for large values of 1.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21598,61,'\n1 Billion dollars of budget deficit\t\t= 1 Gramm-Rudman\n6.023 x 10 to the 23rd power alligator pears\t= Avocado\'s number\n2 pints\t\t\t\t\t\t= 1 Cavort\nBasic unit of Laryngitis\t\t\t= The Hoarsepower\nShortest distance between two jokes\t\t= A straight line\n6 Curses\t\t\t\t\t= 1 Hexahex\n3500 Calories\t\t\t\t\t= 1 Food Pound\n1 Mole\t\t\t\t\t\t= 007 Secret Agents\n1 Mole\t\t\t\t\t\t= 25 Cagey Bees\n1 Dog Pound\t\t\t\t\t= 16 oz. of Alpo\n1000 beers served at a Twins game\t\t= 1 Killibrew\n2.4 statute miles of surgical tubing at Yale U. = 1 I.V.League\n2000 pounds of chinese soup\t\t\t= 1 Won Ton\n10 to the minus 6th power mouthwashes\t\t= 1 Microscope\nSpeed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier\t= 1 Machturtle\n8 Catfish\t\t\t\t\t= 1 Octo-puss\n365 Days of drinking Lo-Cal beer.\t\t= 1 Lite-year\n16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone\t\t\t= 1 Rod Serling\nForce needed to accelerate 2.2lbs of cookies\t= 1 Fig-newton\n\tto 1 meter per second\nOne half large intestine\t\t\t= 1 Semicolon\n10 to the minus 6th power Movie\t\t\t= 1 Microfilm\n1000 pains\t\t\t\t\t= 1 Megahertz\n1 Word\t\t\t\t\t\t= 1 Millipicture\n1 Sagan\t\t\t\t\t\t= Billions & Billions\n1 Angstrom: measure of computer anxiety\t\t= 1000 nail-bytes\n10 to the 12th power microphones\t\t= 1 Megaphone\n10 to the 6th power Bicycles\t\t\t= 2 megacycles\nThe amount of beauty required launch 1 ship\t= 1 Millihelen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21599,61,'\n(1)\tA sheet of paper is an ink-lined plane.\n(2)\tAn inclined plane is a slope up.\n(3)\tA slow pup is a lazy dog.\n\nQED: A sheet of paper is a lazy dog.\n\t\t-- Willard Espy, \"An Almanac of Words at Play\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21600,61,'\n(1) Alexander the Great was a great general.\n(2) Great generals are forewarned.\n(3) Forewarned is forearmed.\n(4) Four is an even number.\n(5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have.\n(6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity.\n\tTherefore, all horses are black.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21601,61,'\n(1) Alexander the Great was a great general.\n(2) Great generals are forewarned.\n(3) Forewarned is forearmed.\n(4) Four is an even number.\n(5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have.\n(6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity.\n\nTherefore, Alexander the Great had an infinite number of arms.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21602,61,'\n(1) Never draw what you can copy.\n(2) Never copy what you can trace.\n(3) Never trace what you can cut out and paste down.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21603,61,'\n(1) X=Y\t\t\t\t; Given\n(2) X^2=XY\t\t\t; Multiply both sides by X\n(3) X^2-Y^2=XY-Y^2\t\t; Subtract Y^2 from both sides\n(4) (X+Y)(X-Y)=Y(X-Y)\t\t; Factor\n(5) X+Y=Y\t\t\t; Cancel out (X-Y) term\n(6) 2Y=Y\t\t\t; Substitute X for Y, by equation 1\n(7) 2=1\t\t\t\t; Divide both sides by Y\n\t\t-- \"Omni\", proof that 2 equals 1\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21604,61,'\n1.79 x 10^12 furlongs per fortnight -- it\'s not just a good idea, it\'s\nthe law!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21605,61,'\n10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21606,61,'\n13. ...  r-q1\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21607,61,'\n\"355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible simulation!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21608,61,'\n\t7,140\tpounds on the Sun\n\t   97\tpounds on Mercury or Mars\n\t  255\tpounds on Earth\n\t  232\tpounds on Venus or Uranus\n\t   43\tpounds on the Moon\n\t  648\tpounds on Jupiter\n\t  275\tpounds on Saturn\n\t  303\tpounds on Neptune\n\t   13\tpounds on Pluto\n\n\t\t-- How much Elvis Presley would weigh at various places\n\t\t   in the solar system.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21609,61,'\nA bunch of Polish scientists decided to flee their repressive government by\nhijacking an airliner and forcing the pilot to fly them to the West.  They\ndrove to the airport, forced their way on board a large passenger jet, and\nfound there was no pilot on board.  Terrified, they listened as the sirens\ngot louder.  Finally, one of the scientists suggested that since he was an\nexperimentalist, he would try to fly the aircraft.\n\tHe sat down at the controls and tried to figure them out.  The sirens\ngot louder and louder.  Armed men surrounded the jet.  The would be pilot\'s\nfriends cried out, \"Please, please take off now!!!  Hurry!!!\"\n\tThe experimentalist calmly replied, \"Have patience.  I\'m just a simple\npole in a complex plane.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21610,61,'\nA conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21611,61,'\nA conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing\nbut together can decide that nothing can be done.\n\t\t-- Fred Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21612,61,'\nA fail-safe circuit will destroy others.\n\t\t-- Klipstein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21613,61,'\nA failure will not appear until a unit has passed final inspection.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21614,61,'\n\"A fractal is by definition a set for which the Hausdorff Besicovitch\ndimension strictly exceeds the topological dimension.\"\n\t\t-- Mandelbrot, \"The Fractal Geometry of Nature\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21615,61,'\nA gangster assembled an engineer, a chemist, and a physicist.  He explained\nthat he was entering a horse in a race the following week and the three\nassembled guys had the job of assuring that the gangster\'s horse would win.\nThey were to reconvene the day before the race to tell the gangster how they\neach propose to ensure a win.  When they reconvened the gangster started with\nthe engineer:\n\t\nGangster: OK, Mr. engineer, what have you got?\nEngineer: Well, I\'ve invented a way to weave metallic threads into the saddle\n\t  blanket so that they will act as the plates of a battery and provide\n\t  electrical shock to the horse.\nG:\t  That\'s very good!  But let\'s hear from the chemist.\nChemist:  I\'ve synthesized a powerful stimulant that disolves\n\t  into simple blood sugars after ten minutes and therefore\n\t  cannot be detected in post-race tests.\nG:\t  Excellent, excellent!  But I want to hear from the physicist before\n\t  I decide what to do.  Physicist?  \nPhysicist: Well, first consider a spherical horse in simple harmonic motion...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21616,61,'\n\"A horrible little boy came up to me and said, `You know in your book\nThe Martian Chronicles?\'  I said, `Yes?\'  He said, `You know where you\ntalk about Deimos rising in the East?\'  I said, `Yes?\'  He said `No.\'\n-- So I hit him.\"\n\t\t-- attributed to Ray Bradbury\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21617,61,'\nA mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.\n\t\t-- P. Erdos\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21618,61,'\nA mathematician, a doctor, and an engineer are walking on the beach and\nobserve a team of lifeguards pumping the stomach of a drowned woman.  As\nthey watch, water, sand, snails and such come out of the pump.\n\tThe doctor watches for a while and says: \"Keep pumping, men, you may\nyet save her!!\"\n\tThe mathematician does some calculations and says: \"According to my\nunderstanding of the size of that pump, you have already pumped more water\nfrom her body than could be contained in a cylinder 4 feet in diameter and\n6 feet high.\"\n\tThe engineer says: \"I think she\'s sitting in a puddle.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21619,61,'\nA method of solution is perfect if we can forsee from the start,\nand even prove, that following that method we shall attain our aim.\n\t\t-- Leibnitz\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21620,61,'\nA pain in the ass of major dimensions.\n\t\t-- C.A. Desoer, on the solution of non-linear circuits\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21621,61,'\nA physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.\n\t\t-- George Wald\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21622,61,'\nA rope lying over the top of a fence is the same length on each side.  It\nweighs one third of a pound per foot.  On one end hangs a monkey holding a\nbanana, and on the other end a weight equal to the weight of the monkey.\nThe banana weighs two ounces per inch.  The rope is as long (in feet) as\nthe age of the monkey (in years), and the weight of the monkey (in ounces)\nis the same as the age of the monkey\'s mother.  The combined age of the\nmonkey and its mother is thirty years.  One half of the weight of the monkey,\nplus the weight of the banana, is one forth as much as the weight of the\nweight and the weight of the rope.  The monkey\'s mother is half as old as\nthe monkey will be when it is three times as old as its mother was when she\nshe was half as old as the monkey will be when when it is as old as its mother\nwill be when she is four times as old as the monkey was when it was twice\nas its mother was when she was one third as old as the monkey was when it\nwas old as is mother was when she was three times as old as the monkey was\nwhen it was one fourth as old as it is now.  How long is the banana?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21623,61,'\nA scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and\nmaking them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually\ndie and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.\n\t\t-- Max Planck\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21624,61,'\nA sense of desolation and uncertainty, of futility, of the baselessness\nof aspirations, of the vanity of endeavor, and a thirst for a life giving\nwater which seems suddenly to have failed, are the signs in conciousness\nof this necessary reorganization of our lives.\n\nIt is difficult to believe that this state of mind can be produced by the\nrecognition of such facts as that unsupported stones always fall to the\nground.\n\t\t-- J.W.N. Sullivan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21625,61,'\nA Severe Strain on the Credulity\n\tAs a method of sending a missile to the higher, and even to the\nhighest parts of the earth\'s atmospheric envelope, Professor Goddard\'s rocket\nis a practicable and therefore promising device. It is when one considers the\nmultiple-charge rocket as a traveler to the moon that one begins to doubt...\nfor after the rocket quits our air and really starts on its journey, its\nflight would be neither accelerated nor maintained by the explosion of the\ncharges it then might have left.  Professor Goddard, with his \"chair\" in\nClark College and countenancing of the Smithsonian Institution, does not\nknow the relation of action to re-action, and of the need to have something\nbetter than a vacuum against which to react... Of course he only seems to\nlack the knowledge ladled out daily in high schools.\n\t\t-- New York Times Editorial, 1920\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21626,61,'\nA sine curve goes off to infinity, or at least the end of the blackboard.\n\t\t-- Prof. Steiner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21627,61,'\nA social scientist, studying the culture and traditions of a small North\nAfrican tribe, found a woman still practicing the ancient art of matchmaking.\nLocally, she was known as the Moor, the marrier.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21628,61,'\nA statistician, who refused to fly after reading of the alarmingly high\nprobability that there will be a bomb on any given plane, realized that\nthe probability of there being two bombs on any given flight is very low.\nNow, whenever he flies, he carries a bomb with him.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21629,61,'\nA transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by\nblowing first.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21630,61,'\nA triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21631,61,'\nAccording to convention there is a sweet and a bitter, a hot and a cold,\nand according to convention, there is an order.  In truth, there are atoms\nand a void.\n\t\t-- Democritus, 400 B.C.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21632,61,'\nAccording to the latest official figures, 43');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21633,61,' of all statistics are\ntotally worthless.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21634,61,'\n\t\t\tACHTUNG!!!\n\nDas machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben.  Ist easy schnappen\nder springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken.  Ist nicht\nfur gewerken by das dummkopfen.  Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands\nin das pockets.  Relaxen und vatch das blinkenlights!!!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21635,61,'\nActually, the probability is 100');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21636,61,' that the elevator will be going in the\nright direction.  Proof by induction:\n\nN=1.\tTrivially true, since both you and the elevator only have one\n\tfloor to go to.\n\nAssume true for N, prove for N+1:\n\tIf you are on any of the first N floors, then it is true by the\n\tinduction hypothesis.  If you are on the N+1st floor, then both you\n\tand the elevator have only one choice, namely down.  Therefore,\n\tit is true for all N+1 floors.\nQED.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21637,61,'\nAfter a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21638,61,'\nAfter an instrument has been assembled, extra components will be found\non the bench.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21639,61,'\n\tAfter the Children of Israel had wandered for thirty-nine years\nin the wilderness, Ferdinand Feghoot arrived to make sure that they would\nfinally find and enter the Promised Land.  With him, he brought his\nfavorite robot, faithful old Yewtoo Artoo, to carry his gear and do\nassorted camp chores.\n\tThe Israelites soon got over their initial fear of the robot and,\nas the months passed, became very fond of him.  Patriarchs took to\ndiscussing abtruse theological problems with him, and each evening the\nchildren all gathered to hear the many stories with which he was programmed.\nTherefore it came as a great shock to them when, just as their journey was\nending, he abruptly wore out.  Even Feghoot couldn\'t console them.\n\t\"It may be true, Ferdinand Feghoot,\" said Moses, \"that our friend\nYewtoo Artoo was soulless, but we cannot believe it.  He must be properly\ninterred.  We cannot embalm him as do the Egyptians.  Nor have we wood for\na coffin.  But I do have a most splendid skin from one of Pharoah\'s own\ncattle.  We shall bury him in it.\"\n\tFeghoot agreed.  \"Yes, let this be his last rusting place.\"\n\t\"Rusting?\" Moses cried.  \"Not in this dreadful dry desert!\"\n\t\"Ah!\" sighed Ferdinand Feghoot, shedding a tear, \"I fear you do not\nrealize the full significance of Pharoah\'s oxhide!\"\n\t\t-- Grendel Briarton \"Through Time & Space With Ferdinand\n\t\t   Feghoot!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21640,61,'\nAfter the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access\ncover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21641,61,'\nAfter this was written there appeared a remarkable posthumous memoir that\nthrows some doubt on Millikan\'s leading role in these experiments.  Harvey\nFletcher (1884-1981), who was a graduate student at the University of Chicago,\nat Millikan\'s suggestion worked on the measurement of electronic charge for\nhis doctoral thesis, and co-authored some of the early papers on this subject\nwith Millikan.  Fletcher left a manuscript with a friend with instructions\nthat it be published after his death; the manuscript was published in\nPhysics Today, June 1982, page 43.  In it, Fletcher claims that he was the\nfirst to do the experiment with oil drops, was the first to measure charges on\nsingle droplets, and may have been the first to suggest the use of oil.\nAccording to Fletcher, he had expected to be co-authored with Millikan on\nthe crucial first article announcing the measurement of the electronic\ncharge, but was talked out of this by Millikan.\n\t\t-- Steven Weinberg, \"The Discovery of Subatomic Particles\"\n\nRobert Millikan is generally credited with making the first really\nprecise measurement of the charge on an electron and was awarded the \nNobel Prize in 1923.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21642,61,'\nAfter years of research, scientists recently reported that there is,\nindeed, arroz in Spanish Harlem.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21643,61,'\n\tAgainst his wishes, a math teacher\'s classroom was remodeled.  Ever\nsince, he\'s been talking about the good old dais.  His students planted a small\norchard in his honor; the trees all have square roots.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21644,61,'\nAir is water with holes in it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21645,61,'\nAir pollution is really making us pay through the nose.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21646,61,'\nAlbert Einstein, when asked to describe radio, replied: \"You see, wire\ntelegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat.  You pull his tail in New\nYork and his head is meowing in Los Angeles.  Do you understand this?\nAnd radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they\nreceive them there.  The only difference is that there is no cat.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21647,61,'\nAlexander Graham Bell is alive and well in New York, and still waiting\nfor a dial tone.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21648,61,'\nAlgebraic symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.\n\t\t-- Philippe Schnoebelen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21649,61,'\nAll Finagle Laws may be bypassed by learning the simple art of doing\nwithout thinking.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21650,61,'\nAll great discoveries are made by mistake.\n\t\t-- Young\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21651,61,'\nAll great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21652,61,'\nAll laws are simulations of reality.\n\t\t-- John C. Lilly\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21653,61,'\nAll life evolves by the differential survival of replicating entities.\n\t\t-- Dawkins\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21654,61,'\nAll power corrupts, but we need electricity.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21655,61,'\nAll science is either physics or stamp collecting.\n\t\t-- Ernest Rutherford\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21656,61,'\nAll seems condemned in the long run to approximate a state akin to\nGaussian noise.\n\t\t-- James Martin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21657,61,'\nAll syllogisms have three parts, therefore this is not a syllogism.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21658,61,'\nAll the evidence concerning the universe has not yet been collected,\nso there\'s still hope.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21659,61,'\nAll theoretical chemistry is really physics; and all theoretical chemists \nknow it.\n\t\t-- Richard P. Feynman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21660,61,'\nAlthough the moon is smaller than the earth, it is farther away.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21661,61,'\nAlthough we modern persons tend to take our electric lights, radios, mixers,\netc., for granted, hundreds of years ago people did not have any of these\nthings, which is just as well because there was no place to plug them in.\nThen along came the first Electrical Pioneer, Benjamin Franklin, who flew a\nkite in a lighting storm and received a serious electrical shock.  This\nproved that lighting was powered by the same force as carpets, but it also\ndamaged Franklin\'s brain so severely that he started speaking only in\nincomprehensible maxims, such as \"A penny saved is a penny earned.\"\nEventually he had to be given a job running the post office.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"What is Electricity?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21662,61,'\nAlways draw your curves, then plot your reading.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21663,61,'\nAlways leave room to add an explanation if it doesn\'t work out.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21664,61,'\nAlways think of something new; this helps you forget your last rotten idea.\n\t\t-- Seth Frankel\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21665,61,'\nAlways try to do things in chronological order; it\'s less confusing that way.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21666,61,'\nAn age is called Dark not because the light fails to shine, but because\npeople refuse to see it.\n\t\t-- James Michener, \"Space\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21667,61,'\nAn American scientist once visited the offices of the great Nobel prize\nwinning physicist, Niels Bohr, in Copenhagen.  He was amazed to find that\nover Bohr\'s desk was a horseshoe, securely nailed to the wall, with the\nopen end up in the approved manner (so it would catch the good luck and not\nlet it spill out).  The American said with a nervous laugh,\n\t\"Surely you don\'t believe the horseshoe will bring you good luck,\ndo you, Professor Bohr?  After all, as a scientist --\"\nBohr chuckled.\n\t\"I believe no such thing, my good friend.  Not at all.  I am\nscarcely likely to believe in such foolish nonsense.  However, I am told\nthat a horseshoe will bring you good luck whether you believe in it or not.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21668,61,'\nAn anthropologist at Tulane has just come back from a field trip to New\nGuinea with reports of a tribe so primitive that they have Tide but not\nnew Tide with lemon-fresh Borax.\n\t\t-- David Letterman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21669,61,'\n\tAn architect\'s first work is apt to be spare and clean.  He knows\nhe doesn\'t know what he\'s doing, so he does it carefully and with great\nrestraint.\n\tAs he designs the first work, frill after frill and embellishment\nafter embellishment occur to him.  These get stored away to be used \"next\ntime.\" Sooner or later the first system is finished, and the architect,\nwith firm confidence and a demonstrated mastery of that class of systems,\nis ready to build a second system.\n\tThis second is the most dangerous system a man ever designs.\nWhen he does his third and later ones, his prior experiences will\nconfirm each other as to the general characteristics of such systems,\nand their differences will identify those parts of his experience that\nare particular and not generalizable.\n\tThe general tendency is to over-design the second system, using\nall the ideas and frills that were cautiously sidetracked on the first\none.  The result, as Ovid says, is a \"big pile.\"\n\t\t-- Frederick Brooks, \"The Mythical Man Month\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21670,61,'\nAn authority is a person who can tell you more about something than you\nreally care to know.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21671,61,'\nAn economist is a man who would marry Farrah Fawcett-Majors for her money.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21672,61,'\nAn egghead is one who stands firmly on both feet, in mid-air, on both\nsides of an issue.\n\t\t-- Homer Ferguson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21673,61,'\nAn engineer, a physicist and a mathematician find themselves in an\nanecdote, indeed an anecdote quite similar to many that you have no doubt\nalready heard.  After some observations and rough calculations the\nengineer realizes the situation and starts laughing.  A few minutes later\nthe physicist understands too and chuckles to himself happily as he now\nhas enough experimental evidence to publish a paper.  This leaves the\nmathematician somewhat perplexed, as he had observed right away that he\nwas the subject of an anecdote, and deduced quite rapidly the presence of\nhumour from similar anecdotes, but considers this anecdote to be too\ntrivial a corollary to be significant, let alone funny.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21674,61,'\nAnd the French medical anatomist Etienne Serres really did argue that\nblack males are primitive because the distance between their navel and\npenis remains small (relative to body height) throughout life, while\nwhite children begin with a small separation but increase it during\ngrowth -- the rising belly button as a mark of progress.\n\t\t-- S.J. Gould, \"Racism and Recapitulation\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21675,61,'\nAnd this is a table ma\'am.  What in essence it consists of is a horizontal\nrectilinear plane surface maintained by four vertical columnar supports,\nwhich we call legs.  The tables in this laboratory, ma\'am, are as advanced\nin design as one will find anywhere in the world.\n\t\t-- Michael Frayn, \"The Tin Men\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21676,61,'\n... Another writer again agreed with all my generalities, but said that as an\ninveterate skeptic I have closed my mind to the truth.  Most notably I have\nignored the evidence for an Earth that is six thousand years old.  Well, I\nhaven\'t ignored it; I considered the purported evidence and *then* rejected\nit.  There is a difference, and this is a difference, we might say, between \nprejudice and postjudice.  Prejudice is making a judgment before you have\nlooked at the facts.  Postjudice is making a judgment afterwards.  Prejudice\nis terrible, in the sense that you commit injustices and you make serious\nmistakes.  Postjudice is not terrible.  You can\'t be perfect of course; you\nmay make mistakes also.  But it is permissible to make a judgment after you\nhave examined the evidence.  In some circles it is even encouraged.\n\t\t-- Carl Sagan, \"The Burden of Skepticism\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21677,61,'\nAny circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts\nwhich are unobtainable, and three parts which are still under development.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21678,61,'\nAny sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21679,61,'\nAny sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.\n\t\t-- Arthur C. Clarke\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21680,61,'\nAnyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human.  At best he\nis a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe and not\nmake messes in the house.\n\t\t-- Lazarus Long, \"Time Enough for Love\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21681,61,'\nAnyone who imagines that all fruits ripen at the same time\nas the strawberries, knows nothing about grapes.\n\t\t-- Philippus Paracelsus\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21682,61,'\n\"Anything created must necessarily be inferior to the essence of the creator.\"\n\t\t-- Claude Shouse\n\n\"Einstein\'s mother must have been one heck of a physicist.\"\n\t\t-- Joseph C. Wang\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21683,61,'\nAnything cut to length will be too short.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21684,61,'\nArithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.\n\t\t-- Mickey Mouse\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21685,61,'\nArtificial intelligence has the same relation to intelligence as\nartificial flowers have to flowers.\n\t\t-- David Parnas\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21686,61,'\n\"As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty,\nand I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life -- so I became a\nscientist.  This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.\"\n\t\t-- Matt Cartmill\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21687,61,'\nAs far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not\ncertain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.\n\t\t-- Albert Einstein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21688,61,'\nAs you will see, I told them, in no uncertain terms, to see Figure one.\n\t\t-- Dave \"First Strike\" Pare\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21689,61,'\nAsk five economists and you\'ll get five different explanations (six if\none went to Harvard).\n\t\t-- Edgar R. Fiedler\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21690,61,'\nAt any given moment, an arrow must be either where it is or where it is\nnot.  But obviously it cannot be where it is not.  And if it is where\nit is, that is equivalent to saying that it is at rest.\n\t\t-- Zeno\'s paradox of the moving (still?) arrow\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21691,61,'\nAt the heart of science is an essential tension between two seemingly\ncontradictory attitudes -- an openness to new ideas, no matter how bizarre\nor counterintuitive they may be, and the most ruthless skeptical scrutiny\nof all ideas, old and new.  This is how deep truths are winnowed from deep\nnonsense.  Of course, scientists make mistakes in trying to understand the\nworld, but there is a built-in error-correcting mechanism:  The collective\nenterprise of creative thinking and skeptical thinking together keeps the\nfield on track.\n\t\t-- Carl Sagan, \"The Fine Art of Baloney Detection\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21692,61,'\nBack in the early 60\'s, touch tone phones only had 10 buttons.  Some\nmilitary versions had 16, while the 12 button jobs were used only by people\nwho had \"diva\" (digital inquiry, voice answerback) systems -- mainly banks.\nSince in those days, only Western Electric  made \"data sets\" (modems) the\nproblems of terminology were all Bell System.  We used to struggle with\nwritten descriptions of dial pads that were unfamiliar to most people\n(most phones were rotary then.)  Partly in jest, some AT&T engineering\ntypes (there was no marketing in the good old days, which is why they were\nthe good old days) made up the term \"octalthorpe\" (note spelling) to denote\nthe \"pound sign.\"  Presumably because it has 8 points sticking out.  It\nnever really caught on.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21693,61,'\nBase 8 is just like base 10, if you are missing two fingers.\n\t\t-- Tom Lehrer\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21694,61,'\nBefore Xerox, five carbons were the maximum extension of anybody\'s ego.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21695,61,'\nBesides the device, the box should contain:\n\t* Eight little rectangular snippets of paper that say \"WARNING\"\n\t* A plastic packet containing four 5/17 inch pilfer grommets and two\n\t\tclub-ended 6/93 inch boxcar prawns.\n\nYOU WILL NEED TO SUPPLY: a matrix wrench and 60,000 feet of tram cable.\n\nIF ANYTHING IS DAMAGED OR MISSING: You IMMEDIATELY should turn to your spouse\nand say: \"Margaret, you know why this country can\'t make a car that can get\nall the way through the drive-through at Burger King without a major\ntransmission overhaul?  Because nobody cares, that\'s why.\"\n\nWARNING: This is assuming your spouse\'s name is Margaret.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Read This First!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21696,61,'\nBetween infinite and short there is a big difference.\n\t\t-- G.H. Gonnet\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21697,61,'\nBiology grows on you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21698,61,'\nBiology is the only science in which multiplication means the same thing\nas division.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21699,61,'\nBistromathics is simply a revolutionary new way of understanding the\nbehavior of numbers.  Just as Einstein observed that space was not an\nabsolute, but depended on the observer\'s movement in space, and that\ntime was not an absolute, but depended on the observer\'s movement in\ntime, so it is now realized that numbers are not absolute, but depend\non the observer\'s movement in restaurants.\n\t\t-- Douglas Adams\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21700,61,'\nBut it does move!\n\t\t-- Galileo Galilei\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21701,61,'\nBut you who live on dreams, you are better pleased with the sophistical\nreasoning and frauds of talkers about great and uncertain matters than\nthose who speak of certain and natural matters, not of such lofty nature.\n\t\t-- Leonardo Da Vinci, \"The Codex on the Flight of Birds\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21702,61,'\nCelestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center\nof the universe.  The premise is wrong, but the navigation works.  An\nincorrect model can be a useful tool.\n\t\t-- Kelvin Throop III\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21703,61,'\nChapter 2:  Newtonian Growth and Decay\n\n\tThe growth-decay formulas were developed in the trivial fashion by\nIsaac Newton\'s famous brother Phigg.  His idea was to provide an equation\nthat would describe a quantity that would dwindle and dwindle, but never\nquite reach zero.  Historically, he was merely trying to work out his\nmortgage.  Another versatile equation also emerged, one which would define\na function that would continue to grow, but never reach unity.  This equation\ncan be applied to charging capacitors, over-damped springs, and the human\nrace in general.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21704,61,'\nChemist who falls in acid is absorbed in work.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21705,61,'\nChemist who falls in acid will be tripping for weeks.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21706,61,'\nChemistry is applied theology.\n\t\t-- Augustus Stanley Owsley III\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21707,61,'\nChemistry professors never die, they just fail to react.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21708,61,'\nCongratulations!  You have purchased an extremely fine device that would\ngive you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that you\nundoubtably will destroy it via some typical bonehead consumer maneuver.\nWhich is why we ask you to PLEASE FOR GOD\'S SAKE READ THIS OWNER\'S MANUAL\nCAREFULLY BEFORE YOU UNPACK THE DEVICE.  YOU ALREADY UNPACKED IT, DIDN\'T\nYOU?  YOU UNPACKED IT AND PLUGGED IT IN AND TURNED IT ON AND FIDDLED WITH\nTHE KNOBS, AND NOW YOUR CHILD, THE SAME CHILD WHO ONCE SHOVED A POLISH\nSAUSAGE INTO YOUR VIDEOCASSETTE RECORDER AND SET IT ON \"FAST FORWARD\", THIS\nCHILD ALSO IS FIDDLING WITH THE KNOBS, RIGHT?  AND YOU\'RE JUST NOW STARTING\nTO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS, RIGHT???  WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST BREAK THESE\nDEVICES RIGHT AT THE FACTORY BEFORE WE SHIP THEM OUT, YOU KNOW THAT?\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Read This First!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21709,61,'\n\"Consider a spherical bear, in simple harmonic motion...\"\n\t\t-- Professor in the UCB physics department\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21710,61,'\n\"Contrariwise,\" continued Tweedledee, \"if it was so, it might be, and\nif it were so, it would be; but as it isn\'t, it ain\'t.  That\'s logic!\"\n\t\t-- Lewis Carroll, \"Through the Looking Glass\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21711,61,'\n\"Deep\" is a word like \"theory\" or \"semantic\" -- it implies all sorts of\nmarvelous things.  It\'s one thing to be able to say \"I\'ve got a theory\",\nquite another to say \"I\'ve got a semantic theory\", but, ah, those who can\nclaim \"I\'ve got a deep semantic theory\", they are truly blessed.\n\t\t-- Randy Davis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21712,61,'\nDid you hear that there\'s a group of South American Indians that worship\nthe number zero?\n\nIs nothing sacred?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21713,61,'\nDid you hear that two rabbits escaped from the zoo and so far they have\nonly recaptured 116 of them?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21714,61,'\nDid you know that if you took all the economists in the world and lined\nthem up end to end, they\'d still point in the wrong direction?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21715,61,'\nDimensions will always be expressed in the least usable term, convertible\nonly through the use of weird and unnatural conversion factors.  Velocity,\nfor example, will be expressed in furlongs per fortnight.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21716,61,'\nDinosaurs aren\'t extinct.  They\'ve just learned to hide in the trees.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21717,61,'\nDo molecular biologists wear designer genes?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21718,61,'\nDuct tape is like the force.  It has a light side, and a dark side, and\nit holds the universe together ...\n\t\t-- Carl Zwanzig\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21719,61,'\nE = MC ** 2 +- 3db\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21720,61,'\nEarl Wiener, 55, a University of Miami professor of management science,\ntelling the Airline Pilots Association (in jest) about 21st century aircraft:\n\n\t\"The crew will consist of one pilot and a dog.  The pilot will\n\tnurture and feed the dog.  The dog will be there to bite the\n\tpilot if he touches anything.\n\t\t-- Fortune, Sept. 26, 1988\n\t\t   [the *magazine*, silly!]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21721,61,'\nEconomics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.\n\t\t-- John Kenneth Galbraith\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21722,61,'\nEconomists can certainly disappoint you.  One said that the economy would\nturn up by the last quarter.  Well, I\'m down to mine and it hasn\'t.\n\t\t-- Robert Orben\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21723,61,'\nEconomists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a\npercentage point to prove they have a sense of humor.\n\t\t-- Edgar R. Fiedler\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21724,61,'\nElectricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles, called\nelectrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been\ndrinking.  Electrons travel at the speed of light, which in most American\nhomes is 110 volts per hour.  This is very fast.  In the time it has taken\nyou to read this sentence so far, an electron could have traveled all the\nway from San Francisco to Hackensack, New Jersey, although God alone knows\nwhy it would want to.\n\nThe five main kinds of electricity are alternating current, direct current,\nlightning, static, and European.  Most American homes have alternating\ncurrent, which means that the electricity goes in one direction for a while,\nthen goes in the other direction.  This prevents harmful electron buildup in\nthe wires.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"The Taming of the Screw\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21725,61,'\nElegance and truth are inversely related.\n\t\t-- Becker\'s Razor\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21726,61,'\nElliptic paraboloids for sale.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21727,61,'\nEntropy isn\'t what it used to be.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21728,61,'\nEntropy requires no maintenance.\n\t\t-- Markoff Chaney\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21729,61,'\nEnzymes are things invented by biologists that explain things which\notherwise require harder thinking.\n\t\t-- Jerome Lettvin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21730,61,'\nEureka!\n\t\t-- Archimedes\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21731,61,'\nEvery little picofarad has a nanohenry all its own.\n\t\t-- Don Vonada\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21732,61,'\nEvery nonzero finite dimensional inner product space has an orthonormal basis.\n\nIt makes sense, when you don\'t think about it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21733,61,'\nEvery paper published in a respectable journal should have a preface by\nthe author stating why he is publishing the article, and what value he\nsees in it.  I have no hope that this practice will ever be adopted.\n\t\t-- Morris Kline\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21734,61,'\nEveryone knows that dragons don\'t exist.  But while this simplistic\nformulation may satisfy the layman, it does not suffice for the scientific\nmind.  The School of Higher Neantical Nillity is in fact wholly unconcerned\nwith what ____\b\b\b\bdoes exist.  Indeed, the banality of existence has been\nso amply demonstrated, there is no need for us to discuss it any further\nhere.  The brilliant Cerebron, attacking the problem analytically,\ndiscovered three distinct kinds of dragon: the mythical, the chimerical,\nand the purely hypothetical.  They were all, one might say, nonexistent,\nbut each nonexisted in an entirely different way ...\n\t\t-- Stanislaw Lem, \"Cyberiad\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21735,61,'\nEverything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.\n\t\t-- Albert Einstein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21736,61,'\nEverything that can be invented has been invented.\n\t\t-- Charles Duell, Director of U.S. Patent Office, 1899\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21737,61,'\nEverything you\'ve learned in school as \"obvious\" becomes less and less\nobvious as you begin to study the universe.  For example, there are no\nsolids in the universe.  There\'s not even a suggestion of a solid.\nThere are no absolute continuums.  There are no surfaces.  There are no\nstraight lines.\n\t\t-- R. Buckminster Fuller\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21738,61,'\nEvolution is as much a fact as the earth turning on its axis and going around\nthe sun.  At one time this was called the Copernican theory; but, when\nevidence for a theory becomes so overwhelming that no informed person can\ndoubt it, it is customary for scientists to call it a fact.  That all present\nlife descended from earlier forms, over vast stretches of geologic time, is\nas firmly established as Copernican cosmology.  Biologists differ only with\nrespect to theories about how the process operates.\n\t\t-- Martin Gardner, \"Irving Kristol and the Facts of Life\". \n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21739,61,'\nExperience varies directly with equipment ruined.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21740,61,'\nExperiments must be reproducible; they should all fail in the same way.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21741,61,'\nExtraordinary claims demand extraordinary proof.  There are many examples\nof outsiders who eventually overthrew entrenched scientific orthodoxies,\nbut they prevailed with irrefutable data.  More often, egregious findings\nthat contradict well-established research turn out to be artifacts.  I have\nargued that accepting psychic powers, reincarnation, \"cosmic conciousness,\"\nand the like, would entail fundamental revisions of the foundations of\nneuroscience.  Before abandoning materialist theories of mind that have paid\nhandsome dividends, we should insist on better evidence for psi phenomena\nthan presently exists, especially when neurology and psychology themselves\noffer more plausible alternatives.\n\t\t-- Barry L. Beyerstein, \"The Brain and Conciousness:\n\t\t   Implications for Psi Phenomena\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21742,61,'\nFactorials were someone\'s attempt to make math LOOK exciting.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21743,61,'\nFacts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21744,61,'\nFederal grants are offered for... research into the recreation\npotential of interplanetary space travel for the culturally disadvantaged.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21745,61,'\nFive is a sufficiently close approximation to infinity.\n\t\t-- Robert Firth\n\n\"One, two, five.\"\n\t\t-- Monty Python and the Holy Grail\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21746,61,'\nFlorence Flask was ... dressing for the opera when she turned to her\nhusband and screamed, \"Erlenmeyer!  My joules!  Someone has stolen my\njoules!\"\n\n\"Now, now, my dear,\" replied her husband, \"keep your balance and reflux\na moment.  Perhaps they\'re mislead.\"\n\n\"No, I know they\'re stolen,\" cried Florence.  \"I remember putting them\nin my burette ... We must call a copper.\"\n\nErlenmeyer did so, and the flatfoot who turned up, one Sherlock Ohms,\nsaid the outrage looked like the work of an arch-criminal by the name\nof Lawrence Ium.\n\n\"We must be careful -- he\'s a free radical, ultraviolet, and\ndangerous.  His girlfriend is a chlorine at the Palladium.  Maybe I can\ncatch him there.\"  With that, he jumped on his carbon cycle in an\nactivated state and sped off along the reaction pathway ...\n\t\t-- Daniel B. Murphy, \"Precipitations\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21747,61,'\nFor every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.\n\t\t-- H. L. Mencken\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21748,61,'\nFor God\'s sake, stop researching for a while and begin to think!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21749,61,'\nFor large values of one, one equals two, for small values of two.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21750,61,'\nFortunately, the responsibility for providing evidence is on the part of\nthe person making the claim, not the critic.  It is not the responsibility\nof UFO skeptics to prove that a UFO has never existed, nor is it the\nresponsibility of paranormal-health-claims skeptics to prove that crystals\nor colored lights never healed anyone.  The skeptic\'s role is to point out\nclaims that are not adequately supported by acceptable evidcence and to\nprovide plausible alternative explanations that are more in keeping with\nthe accepted body of scientific evidence.\n\t\t-- Thomas L. Creed, The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII,\n\t\t   No. 2, pg. 215\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21751,61,'\nFORTUNE\'S FUN FACTS TO KNOW AND TELL:\t\t#1\n\tA guinea pig is not from Guinea but a rodent from South America.\n\tA firefly is not a fly, but a beetle.\n\tA giant panda bear is really a member of the racoon family.\n\tA black panther is really a leopard that has a solid black coat\n\t    rather then a spotted one.\n\tPeanuts are not really nuts.  The majority of nuts grow on trees\n\t\twhile peauts grow underground.  They are classified as a\n\t\tlegume -- part of the pea family.\n\tA cucumber is not a vegetable but a fruit.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21752,61,'\nFORTUNE\'S FUN FACTS TO KNOW AND TELL:\t\t#44\n\tZebras are colored with dark stripes on a light background.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21753,61,'\nFORTUNE\'S GUIDE TO DEALING WITH REAL-LIFE SCIENCE FICTION: #14\nWhat to do...\n    if reality disappears?\n\tHope this one doesn\'t happen to you.  There isn\'t much that you\n\tcan do about it.  It will probably be quite unpleasant.\n\n    if you meet an older version of yourself who has invented a time\n    traveling machine, and has come from the future to meet you?\n\tPlay this one by the book.  Ask about the stock market and cash in.\n\tDon\'t forget to invent a time traveling machine and visit your\n\tyounger self before you die, or you will create a paradox.  If you\n\texpect this to be tricky, make sure to ask for the principles\n\tbehind time travel, and possibly schematics.  Never, NEVER, ask\n\twhen you\'ll die, or if you\'ll marry your current SO.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21754,61,'\nFORTUNE\'S GUIDE TO DEALING WITH REAL-LIFE SCIENCE FICTION: #2\nWhat to do...\n    if you get a phone call from Mars:\n\tSpeak slowly and be sure to enunciate your words properly.  Limit\n\tyour vocabulary to simple words.  Try to determine if you are\n\tspeaking to someone in a leadership capacity, or an ordinary citizen.\n\n    if he, she or it doesn\'t speak English?\n\tHang up.  There\'s no sense in trying to learn Martian over the phone.\n\tIf your Martian really had something important to say to you, he, she\n\tor it would have taken the trouble to learn the language before\n\tcalling.\n\n    if you get a phone call from Jupiter?\n\tExplain to your caller, politely but firmly, that being from Jupiter,\n\the, she or it is not \"life as we know it\".  Try to terminate the\n\tconversation as soon as possible.  It will not profit you, and the\n\tcharges may have been reversed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21755,61,'\nFORTUNE\'S GUIDE TO DEALING WITH REAL-LIFE SCIENCE FICTION: #6\nWhat to do...\n    if a starship, equipped with an FTL hyperdrive lands in your backyard?\n\tFirst of all, do not run after your camera.  You will not have any\n\tfilm, and, given the state of computer animation, noone will believe\n\tyou anyway.  Be polite.  Remember, if they have an FTL hyperdrive,\n\tthey can probably vaporize you, should they find you to be rude.\n\tDirect them to the White House lawn, which is where they probably\n\twanted to land, anyway.  A good road map should help.\n\n    if you wake up in the middle of the night, and discover that your\n    closet contains an alternate dimension?\n\tDon\'t walk in.  You almost certainly will not be able to get back,\n\tand alternate dimensions are almost never any fun.  Remain calm\n\tand go back to bed.  Close the door first, so that the cat does not\n\twander off.  Check your closet in the morning.  If it still contains\n\tan alternate dimension, nail it shut.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21756,61,'\nFriction is a drag.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21757,61,'\nFundamentally, there may be no basis for anything.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21758,61,'\nGenetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don\'t, why\nyou should.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21759,61,'\n(German philosopher) Georg Wilhelm Hegel, on his deathbed, complained,\n\"Only one man ever understood me.\"  He fell silent for a while and then added,\n\"And he didn\'t understand me.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21760,61,'\nGod doesn\'t play dice.\n\t\t-- Albert Einstein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21761,61,'\nGod made the integers; all else is the work of Man.\n\t\t-- Kronecker\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21762,61,'\nGod may be subtle, but he isn\'t plain mean.\n\t\t-- Albert Einstein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21763,61,'\nGod runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday,\nand the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.\n\t\t-- William Bragg\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21764,61,'\nGoing the speed of light is bad for your age.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21765,61,'\nGood morning.  This is the telephone company.  Due to repairs, we\'re\ngiving you advance notice that your service will be cut off indefinitely\nat ten o\'clock.  That\'s two minutes from now.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21766,61,'\nGosh that takes me back... or is it forward?  That\'s the trouble with\ntime travel, you never can tell.\"\n\t\t-- Doctor Who, \"Androids of Tara\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21767,61,'\nGot Mole problems?  Call Avogadro at 6.02 x 10^23.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21768,61,'\nGravity brings me down.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21769,61,'\nGravity is a myth, the Earth sucks.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21770,61,'\nGREAT MOMENTS IN HISTORY (#7):  April 2, 1751\n\nIssac Newton becomes discouraged when he falls up a flight of stairs.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21771,61,'\nGreat spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.\n\t\t-- Albert Einstein\n\nThey laughed at Einstein.  They laughed at the Wright Brothers.  But they\nalso laughed at Bozo the Clown.\n\t\t-- Carl Sagan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21772,61,'\nHe keeps differentiating, flying off on a tangent.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21773,61,'\nHe:\tLet\'s end it all, bequeathin\' our brains to science.\nShe:\tWhat?!?  Science got enough trouble with their OWN brains.\n\t\t-- Walt Kelly\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21774,61,'\nHeard that the next Space Shuttle is supposed to carry several Guernsey cows?\nIt\'s gonna be the herd shot \'round the world.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21775,61,'\nHeavier than air flying machines are impossible.\n\t\t-- Lord Kelvin, President, Royal Society, c. 1895\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21776,61,'\nHeisenberg may have been here.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21777,61,'\nHeisenberg may have slept here...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21778,61,'\nHelp fight continental drift.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21779,61,'\nHere is a simple experiment that will teach you an important electrical\nlesson: On a cool, dry day, scuff your feet along a carpet, then reach your\nhand into a friend\'s mouth and touch one of his dental fillings.  Did you\nnotice how your friend twitched violently and cried out in pain?  This\nteaches us that electricity can be a very powerful force, but we must never\nuse it to hurt others unless we need to learn an important electrical lesson.\n\tIt also teaches us how an electrical circuit works.  When you scuffed\nyour feet, you picked up batches of \"electrons\", which are very small objects\nthat carpet manufacturers weave into carpets so they will attract dirt.\nThe electrons travel through your bloodstream and collect in your finger,\nwhere they form a spark that leaps to your friend\'s filling, then travels\ndown to his feet and back into the carpet, thus completing the circuit.\n\tAmazing Electronic Fact: If you scuffed your feet long enough without\ntouching anything, you would build up so many electrons that your finger\nwould explode!  But this is nothing to worry about unless you have\ncarpeting.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"What is Electricity?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21780,61,'\nHi! How are things going?\n\t(just fine, thank you...)\nGreat! Say, could I bother you for a question?\n\t(you just asked one...)\nWell, how about one more?\n\t(one more than the first one?)\nYes.\n\t(you already asked that...)\n[at this point, Alphonso gets smart...\t]\nMay I ask two questions, sir?\n\t(no.)\nMay I ask ONE then?\n\t(nope...)\nThen may I ask, sir, how I may ask you a question?\n\t(yes, you may.)\nSir, how may I ask you a question?\n\t(you must ask for retroactive question asking privileges for\n\t the number of questions you have asked, then ask for that\n\t number plus two, one for the current question, and one for the\n\t next one)\nSir, may I ask nine questions?\n\t(go right ahead...)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21781,61,'\nHouston, Tranquillity Base here.  The Eagle has landed.\n\t\t-- Neil Armstrong\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21782,61,'\nHow can you do \'New Math\' problems with an \'Old Math\' mind?\n\t\t-- Charles Schulz\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21783,61,'\nHow many weeks are there in a light year?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21784,61,'\nHow often I found where I should be going only by setting out for somewhere\nelse.\n\t\t-- R. Buckminster Fuller\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21785,61,'\nHuman beings were created by water to transport it uphill.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21786,61,'\nI am not an Economist.  I am an honest man!\n\t\t-- Paul McCracken\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21787,61,'\nI cannot believe that God plays dice with the cosmos.\n\t\t-- Albert Einstein, on the randomness of quantum mechanics\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21788,61,'\nI do hate sums.  There is no greater mistake than to call arithmetic an\nexact science.  There are permutations and aberrations discernible to minds\nentirely noble like mine; subtle variations which ordinary accountants fail\nto discover; hidden laws of number which it requires a mind like mine to\nperceive.  For instance, if you add a sum from the bottom up, and then again\nfrom the top down, the result is always different.\n\t\t-- Mrs. La Touche\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21789,61,'\nI do not remember ever having seen a sustained argument by an author which,\nstarting from philosophical premises likely to meet with general acceptance,\nreached the conclusion that a praiseworthy ordering of one\'s life is to\ndevote it to research in mathematics.\n\t\t-- Sir Edmund Whittaker, \"Scientific American\", Vol. 183\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21790,61,'\n\"I don\'t think so,\" said Ren\'\be Descartes.  Just then, he vanished.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21791,61,'\nI had a feeling once about mathematics -- that I saw it all.  Depth beyond\ndepth was revealed to me -- the Byss and the Abyss. I saw -- as one might\nsee the transit of Venus or even the Lord Mayor\'s Show -- a quantity passing\nthrough infinity and changing its sign from plus to minus.  I saw exactly\nwhy it happened and why tergiversation was inevitable -- but it was after\ndinner and I let it go.\n\t\t-- Winston Churchill\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21792,61,'\nI have a theory that it\'s impossible to prove anything, but I can\'t prove it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21793,61,'\n\t\"I have examined Bogota,\" he said, \"and the case is clearer to me.\nI think very probably he might be cured.\"\n\t\"That is what I have always hoped,\" said old Yacob.\n\t\"His brain is affected,\" said the blind doctor.\n\tThe elders murmured assent.\n\t\"Now, what affects it?\"\n\t\"Ah!\" said old Yacob.\n\t\"This,\" said the doctor, answering his own question.  \"Those queer\nthings that are called the eyes, and which exist to make an agreeable soft\ndepression in the face, are diseased, in the case of Bogota, in such a way\nas to affect his brain.  They are greatly distended, he has eyelashes, and\nhis eyelids move, and cosequently his brain is in a state of constant\nirritation and distraction.\"\n\t\"Yes?\" said old Yacob.  \"Yes?\"\n\t\"And I think I may say with reasonable certainty that, in order\nto cure him completely, all that we need do is a simple and easy surgical\noperation -- namely, to remove those irritant bodies.\"\n\t\"And then he will be sane?\"\n\t\"Then he will be perfectly sane, and a quite admirable citizen.\"\n\t\"Thank heaven for science!\" said old Yacob.\n\t\t-- H.G. Wells, \"The Country of the Blind\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21794,61,'\nI have hardly ever known a mathematician who was capable of reasoning.\n\t\t-- Plato\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21795,61,'\nI have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when\nyou looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated.\n\t\t-- Poul Anderson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21796,61,'\nI myself have dreamed up a structure intermediate between Dyson spheres\nand planets.  Build a ring 93 million miles in radius -- one Earth orbit\n-- around the sun.  If we have the mass of Jupiter to work with, and if\nwe make it a thousand miles wide, we get a thickness of about a thousand\nfeet for the base.\n\nAnd it has advantages.  The Ringworld will be much sturdier than a Dyson\nsphere.  We can spin it on its axis for gravity.  A rotation speed of 770\nm/s will give us a gravity of one Earth normal.  We wouldn\'t even need to\nroof it over.  Place walls one thousand miles high at each edge, facing the\nsun.  Very little air will leak over the edges.\n\nLord knows the thing is roomy enough.  With three million times the surface\narea of the Earth, it will be some time before anyone complains of the\ncrowding.\n\t\t-- Larry Niven, \"Ringworld\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21797,61,'\nI put up my thumb... and it blotted out the planet Earth.\n\t\t-- Neil Armstrong\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21798,61,'\nI tell them to turn to the study of mathematics, for it is only there that\nthey might escape the lusts of the flesh.\n\t\t-- Thomas Mann, \"The Magic Mountain\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21799,61,'\n\"I think it is true for all _\bn.  I was just playing it safe with _\bn >= 3\nbecause I couldn\'t remember the proof.\"\n\t\t-- Baker, Pure Math 351a\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21800,61,'\nI THINK MAN INVENTED THE CAR by instinct.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21801,61,'\n\"I think the sky is blue because it\'s a shift from black through purple\nto blue, and it has to do with where the light is.  You know, the\nfarther we get into darkness, and there\'s a shifting of color of light\ninto the blueness, and I think as you go farther and farther away from\nthe reflected light we have from the sun or the light that\'s bouncing\noff this earth, uh, the darker it gets ... I think if you look at the\ncolor scale, you start at black, move it through purple, move it on\nout, it\'s the shifting of color.  We mentioned before about the stars\nsinging, and that\'s one of the effects of the shifting of colors.\"\n\t\t-- Pat Robertson, The 700 Club\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21802,61,'\nI THINK THERE SHOULD BE SOMETHING in science called the \"reindeer effect.\"\nI don\'t know what it would be, but I think it\'d be good to hear someone say,\n\"Gentlemen, what we have here is a terrifying example of the reindeer effect.\"\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21803,61,'\nI THINK THEY SHOULD CONTINUE the policy of not giving a Nobel Prize for\npaneling.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21804,61,'\nI use technology in order to hate it more properly.\n\t\t-- Nam June Paik\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21805,61,'\nI would have you imagine, then, that there exists in the mind of man a block\nof wax...  and that we remember and know what is imprinted as long as the\nimage lasts; but when the image is effaced, or cannot be taken, then we\nforget or do not know.\n\t\t-- Plato, Dialogs, Theateus 191\n \n\t[Quoted in \"VMS Internals and Data Structures\", V4.4, when\n\t referring to image activation and termination.]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21806,61,'\nI\'m often asked the question, \"Do you think there is extraterrestrial intelli-\ngence?\"  I give the standard arguments -- there are a lot of places out there,\nand use the word *billions*, and so on.  And then I say it would be astonishing\nto me if there weren\'t extraterrestrial intelligence, but of course there is as\nyet no compelling evidence for it.  And then I\'m asked, \"Yeah, but what do you\nreally think?\"  I say, \"I just told you what I really think.\"  \"Yeah, but \nwhat\'s your gut feeling?\"  But I try not to think with my gut.  Really, it\'s\nokay to reserve judgment until the evidence is in.\n\t\t-- Carl Sagan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21807,61,'\nIf A = B and B = C, then A = C, except where void or prohibited by law.\n\t\t-- Roy Santoro\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21808,61,'\nIf a camel is a horse designed by a committee, then a consensus forecast is a\ncamel\'s behind.\n\t\t-- Edgar R. Fiedler\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21809,61,'\nIf A equals success, then the formula is _\bA = _\bX + _\bY + _\bZ.  _\bX is work.  _\bY\nis play.  _\bZ is keep your mouth shut.\n\t\t-- Albert Einstein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21810,61,'\nIf all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.\n\t\t-- John Kenneth Galbraith\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21811,61,'\nIf all the world\'s economists were laid end to end, we wouldn\'t reach a\nconclusion.\n\t\t-- William Baumol\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21812,61,'\nIf an experiment works, something has gone wrong.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21813,61,'\nIf entropy is increasing, where is it coming from?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21814,61,'\nIf for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that there\nis an exception to every rule.  If we accept \"For every rule there is an\nexception\" as a rule, then we must concede that there may not be an exception\nafter all, since the rule states that there is always the possibility of\nexception, and if we follow it to its logical end we must agree that there\ncan be an exception to the rule that for every rule there is an exception.\n\t\t-- Bill Boquist\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21815,61,'\nIf God is perfect, why did He create discontinuous functions?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21816,61,'\nIf I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.\n\t\t-- Albert Einstein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21817,61,'\nIf I have not seen so far it is because I stood in giant\'s footsteps.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21818,61,'\nIf I set here and stare at nothing long enough, people might think\nI\'m an engineer working on something.\n\t\t-- S.R. McElroy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21819,61,'\nIf in any problem you find yourself doing an immense amount of work, the\nanswer can be obtained by simple inspection.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21820,61,'\nIf it is a Miracle, any sort of evidence will answer, but if it is a Fact,\nproof is necessary.\n\t\t-- Samuel Clemens\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21821,61,'\nIf it smells it\'s chemistry, if it crawls it\'s biology, if it doesn\'t work\nit\'s physics.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21822,61,'\nIf it wasn\'t for Newton, we wouldn\'t have to eat bruised apples.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21823,61,'\nIf mathematically you end up with the wrong answer, try multiplying by\nthe page number.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21824,61,'\nIf scientific reasoning were limited to the logical processes of\narithmetic, we should not get very far in our understanding of the physical\nworld.  One might as well attempt to grasp the game of poker entirely by\nthe use of the mathematics of probability.\n\t\t-- Vannevar Bush\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21825,61,'\nIf the aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would\npresumably flunk it.\n\t\t-- Stanley Garn\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21826,61,'\nIf the facts don\'t fit the theory, change the facts.\n\t\t-- Albert Einstein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21827,61,'\nIf the human brain were so simple that we could understand it,\nwe would be so simple we couldn\'t.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21828,61,'\nIf they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make\nsomething out of you.\n\t\t-- Muhammad Ali\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21829,61,'\n\"If value corrupts then absolute value corrupts absolutely.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21830,61,'\nIf you analyse anything, you destroy it.\n\t\t-- Arthur Miller\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21831,61,'\nIf you are smart enough to know that you\'re not smart enough to be an\nEngineer, then you\'re in Business.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21832,61,'\nIf you can\'t understand it, it is intuitively obvious.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21833,61,'\nIf you haven\'t enjoyed the material in the last few lectures then a career\nin chartered accountancy beckons.\n\t\t-- Advice from the lecturer in the middle of the Stochastic\n\t\t   Systems course.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21834,61,'\nIf you push the \"extra ice\" button on the soft drink vending machine, you won\'t\nget any ice.  If you push the \"no ice\" button, you\'ll get ice, but no cup.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21835,61,'\n\tIf you rap your knuckles against a window jamb or door, if you\nbrush your leg against a bed or desk, if you catch your foot in a curled-\nup corner of a rug, or strike a toe against a desk or chair, go back and\nrepeat the sequence. \n\tYou will find yourself surprised how far off course you were to\nhit that window jamb, that door, that chair.  Get back on course and do it\nagain.  How can you pilot a spacecraft if you can\'t find your way around\nyour own apartment?\n\t\t-- William S. Burroughs\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21836,61,'\nIf you steal from one author it\'s plagiarism; if you steal from\nmany it\'s research.\n\t\t-- Wilson Mizner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21837,61,'\nIf you\'re not part of the solution, you\'re part of the precipitate.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21838,61,'\nImagination is more important than knowledge.\n\t\t-- Albert Einstein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21839,61,'\nIn 1750 Issac Newton became discouraged when he fell up a flight of stairs.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21840,61,'\nIn 1869 the waffle iron was invented for people who had wrinkled waffles.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21841,61,'\nIn a minimum-phase system there is an inextricable link between\nfrequency response, phase response and transient response, as they\nare all merely transforms of one another.  This combined with\nminimalization of open-loop errors in output amplifiers and correct\ncompensation for non-linear passive crossover network loading can\nlead to a significant decrease in system resolution lost.  However,\nthis all means jack when you listen to Pink Floyd.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21842,61,'\nIN MY OPINION anyone interested in improving himself should not rule out\nbecoming pure energy.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21843,61,'\nIn Nature there are neither rewards nor punishments, there are consequences.\n\t\t-- R.G. Ingersoll\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21844,61,'\nIn order to dial out, it is necessary to broaden one\'s dimension.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21845,61,'\n\"In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the\nuniverse.\"\n\t\t-- Carl Sagan, Cosmos\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21846,61,'\nIn science it often happens that scientists say, \'You know that\'s a really\ngood argument; my position is mistaken,\' and then they actually change\ntheir minds and you never hear that old view from them again.  They really\ndo it.  It doesn\'t happen as often as it should, because scientists are\nhuman and change is sometimes painful.  But it happens every day.  I cannot\nrecall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion.\n\t\t-- Carl Sagan, 1987 CSICOP keynote address\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21847,61,'\n\"In short, _\bN is Richardian if, and only if, _\bN is not Richardian.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21848,61,'\nIn specifications, Murphy\'s Law supersedes Ohm\'s.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21849,61,'\nIn the beginning there was nothing.  And the Lord said \"Let There Be Light!\"\nAnd still there was nothing, but at least now you could see it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21850,61,'\n\tIn the beginning there was only one kind of Mathematician, created by\nthe Great Mathamatical Spirit form the Book: the Topologist.  And they grew to\nlarge numbers and prospered.\n\tOne day they looked up in the heavens and desired to reach up as far\nas the eye could see.  So they set out in building a Mathematical edifice that\nwas to reach up as far as \"up\" went.  Further and further up they went ...\nuntil one night the edifice collapsed under the weight of paradox.\n\tThe following morning saw only rubble where there once was a huge\nstructure reaching to the heavens.  One by one, the Mathematicians climbed\nout from under the rubble.  It was a miracle that nobody was killed; but when\nthey began to speak to one another, SUPRISE of all suprises! they could not\nunderstand each other.  They all spoke different languages.  They all fought\namongst themselves and each went about their own way.  To this day the\nTopologists remain the original Mathematicians.\n\t\t-- The Story of Babel\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21851,61,'\nIn the course of reading Hadamard\'s \"The Psychology of Invention in the\nMathematical Field\", I have come across evidence supporting a fact\nwhich we coffee achievers have long appreciated:  no really creative,\nintelligent thought is possible without a good cup of coffee.  On page\n14, Hadamard is discussing Poincare\'s theory of fuchsian groups and\nfuchsian functions, which he describes as \"... one of his greatest\ndiscoveries, the first which consecrated his glory ...\"  Hadamard refers\nto Poincare having had a \"... sleepless night which initiated all that\nmemorable work ...\" and gives the following, very revealing quote:\n\n\t\"One evening, contrary to my custom, I drank black coffee and\n\tcould not sleep.  Ideas rose in crowds;  I felt them collide\n\tuntil pairs interlocked, so to speak, making a stable\n\tcombination.\"\n\nToo bad drinking black coffee was contrary to his custom.  Maybe he\ncould really have amounted to something as a coffee achiever.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21852,61,'\nIn theory, there is no difference between theory and practice.  In practice,\nthere is.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21853,61,'\nIn these matters the only certainty is that there is nothing certain.\n\t\t-- Pliny the Elder\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21854,61,'\n\t\"In this replacement Earth we\'re building they\'ve given me Africa\nto do and of course I\'m doing it with all fjords again because I happen to\nlike them, and I\'m old-fashioned enough to think that they give a lovely\nbaroque feel to a continent.  And they tell me it\'s not equatorial enough.\nEquatorial!\"  He gave a hollow laugh.  \"What does it matter?  Science has\nachieved some wonderful things, of course, but I\'d far rather be happy than\nright any day.\"\n\t\"And are you?\"\n\t\"No.  That\'s where it all falls down, of course.\"\n\t\"Pity,\" said Arthur with sympathy.  \"It sounded like quite a good\nlife-style otherwise.\"\n\t\t-- Douglas Adams, \"The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21855,61,'\nInformation is the inverse of entropy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21856,61,'\nInterchangeable parts won\'t.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21857,61,'\nInvest in physics -- own a piece of Dirac!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21858,61,'\n\"Irrationality is the square root of all evil\"\n\t\t-- Douglas Hofstadter\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21859,61,'\nIs knowledge knowable?  If not, how do we know that?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21860,61,'\nIsn\'t it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction\nlisten to weather forecasts and economists?\n\t\t-- Kelvin Throop III\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21861,61,'\nIsn\'t it strange that the same people that laugh at gypsy fortune\ntellers take economists seriously?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21862,61,'\n\"It could be that Walter\'s horse has wings\" does not imply that there is\nany such animal as Walter\'s horse, only that there could be; but \"Walter\'s\nhorse is a thing which could have wings\" does imply Walter\'s horse\'s\nexistence.  But the conjunction \"Walter\'s horse exists, and it could be\nthat Walter\'s horse has wings\" still does not imply \"Walter\'s horse is a\nthing that could have wings\", for perhaps it can only be that Walter\'s\nhorse has wings by Walter having a different horse.  Nor does \"Walter\'s\nhorse is a thing which could have wings\" conversely imply \"It could be that\nWalter\'s horse has wings\"; for it might be that Walter\'s horse could only\nhave wings by not being Walter\'s horse.\n\nI would deny, though, that the formula [Necessarily if some x has property P\nthen some x has property P] expresses a logical law, since P(x) could stand\nfor, let us say \"x is a better logician than I am\", and the statement \"It is\nnecessary that if someone is a better logician than I am then someone is a\nbetter logician than I am\" is false because there need not have been any me.\n\t\t-- A.N. Prior, \"Time and Modality\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21863,61,'\nIt has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21864,61,'\nIt is contrary to reasoning to say that there is a vacuum or space in\nwhich there is absolutely nothing.\n\t\t-- Descartes\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21865,61,'\nIt is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable,\nas one\'s hat keeps blowing off.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21866,61,'\nIt is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21867,61,'\nIt is not every question that deserves an answer.\n\t\t-- Publilius Syrus\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21868,61,'\nIt is not for me to attempt to fathom the inscrutable workings of Providence.\n\t\t-- The Earl of Birkenhead\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21869,61,'\nIt is not that polar co-ordinates are complicated, it is simply\nthat cartesian co-ordinates are simpler than they have a right to be.\n\t\t-- Kleppner & Kolenhow, \"An Introduction to Mechanics\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21870,61,'\nIt is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to\nmathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics and chemistry.\n\t\t-- H.L. Mencken\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21871,61,'\nIt is true that if your paperboy throws your paper into the bushes for five\nstraight days it can be explained by Newton\'s Law of Gravity.  But it takes\nMurphy\'s law to explain why it is happening to you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21872,61,'\nIt seems intuitively obvious to me, which means that it might be wrong.\n\t\t-- Chris Torek\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21873,61,'\nIt seems that more and more mathematicians are using a new, high level\nlanguage named \"research student\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21874,61,'\n\"It\'s easier said than done.\"\n\n... and if you don\'t believe it, try proving that it\'s easier done than\nsaid, and you\'ll see that \"it\'s easier said that `it\'s easier done than\nsaid\' than it is done\", which really proves that \"it\'s easier said than\ndone\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21875,61,'\nIt\'s hard to think of you as the end result of millions of years of evolution.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21876,61,'\nIt\'s later than you think, the joint Russian-American space mission has\nalready begun.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21877,61,'\nIt\'s not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.\n\t\t-- Phil White\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21878,61,'\nIt\'s not hard to admit errors that are [only] cosmetically wrong.\n\t\t-- J.K. Galbraith\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21879,61,'\nJust because they are called \'forbidden\' transitions does not mean that they\nare forbidden.  They are less allowed than allowed transitions, if you see\nwhat I mean.\n\t\t-- From a Part 2 Quantum Mechanics lecture.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21880,61,'\nKleeneness is next to Godelness.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21881,61,'\nKlein bottle for rent -- inquire within.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21882,61,'\nLast yeer I kudn\'t spel Engineer.  Now I are won.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21883,61,'\nLawrence Radiation Laboratory keeps all its data in an old gray trunk.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21884,61,'\nLife is a biochemical reaction to the stimulus of the surrounding\nenvironment in a stable ecosphere, while a bowl of cherries is a\nround container filled with little red fruits on sticks.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21885,61,'\nLife is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21886,61,'\nLife is difficult because it is non-linear.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21887,61,'\nLogic is a little bird, sitting in a tree; that smells *_____\b\b\b\b\bawful*.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21888,61,'\nLogic is a pretty flower that smells bad.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21889,61,'\nLogic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21890,61,'\nLogic is the chastity belt of the mind!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21891,61,'\nLove makes the world go \'round, with a little help from intrinsic angular\nmomentum.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21892,61,'\nLucas is the source of many of the components of the legendarily reliable\nBritish automotive electrical systems.  Professionals call the company \"The\nPrince of Darkness\".  Of course, if Lucas were to design and manufacture\nnuclear weapons, World War III would never get off the ground.  The British\ndon\'t like warm beer any more than the Americans do.  The British drink warm\nbeer because they have Lucas refrigerators.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21893,61,'\nMa Bell is a mean mother!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21894,61,'\nMachines have less problems.  I\'d like to be a machine.\n\t\t-- Andy Warhol\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21895,61,'\nMake it myself?  But I\'m a physical organic chemist!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21896,61,'\nMake it right before you make it faster.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21897,61,'\nMan will never fly.  Space travel is merely a dream.  All aspirin is alike.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21898,61,'\nMATH AND ALCOHOL DON\'T MIX!\n\tPlease, don\'t drink and derive.\n\n\tMathematicians\n\tAgainst\n\tDrunk\n\tDeriving\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21899,61,'\nMath is like love -- a simple idea but it can get complicated.\n\t\t-- R. Drabek\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21900,61,'\nMathematicians are like Frenchmen:  whatever you say to them they translate\ninto their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different.\n\t\t-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21901,61,'\nMathematicians often resort to something called Hilbert space, which is\ndescribed as being n-dimensional.  Like modern sex, any number can play.\n\t\t-- Dr. Thor Wald, \"Beep/The Quincunx of Time\", by James Blish\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21902,61,'\nMathematicians practice absolute freedom.\n\t\t-- Henry Adams\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21903,61,'\nMathematics deals exclusively with the relations of concepts\nto each other without consideration of their relation to experience.\n\t\t-- Albert Einstein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21904,61,'\nMathematics is the only science where one never knows what \none is talking about nor whether what is said is true.\n\t\t-- Russell\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21905,61,'\nMathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth but supreme beauty --\na beauty cold and austere, like that of a sculpture, without appeal to any\npart of our weaker nature, without the gorgeous trapping of painting or music,\nyet sublimely pure, and capable of a stern perfection such as only the\ngreatest art can show.  The true spirit of delight, the exaltation, the sense\nof being more than man, which is the touchstone of the highest excellence, is\nto be found in mathematics as surely as in poetry.\n\t\t-- Bertrand Russell\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21906,61,'\nMatter cannot be created or destroyed, nor can it be returned without a receipt.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21907,61,'\nMatter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21908,61,'\nMeasure twice, cut once.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21909,61,'\nMeasure with a micrometer.  Mark with chalk.  Cut with an axe.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21910,61,'\nMediocrity finds safety in standardization.\n\t\t-- Frederick Crane\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21911,61,'\nMen love to wonder, and that is the seed of science.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21912,61,'\nMen occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves\nup and hurry off as if nothing had happened.\n\t\t-- Winston Churchill\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21913,61,'\nModern psychology takes completely for granted that behavior and neural\nfunction are perfectly correlated, that one is completely caused by the\nother.  There is no separate soul or lifeforce to stick a finger into the\nbrain now and then and make neural cells do what they would not otherwise.\nActually, of course, this is a working assumption only. ... It is quite\nconceivable that someday the assumption will have to be rejected.  But it\nis important also to see that we have not reached that day yet: the working\nassumption is a necessary one and there is no real evidence opposed to it.\nOur failure to solve a problem so far does not make it insoluble.  One cannot\nlogically be a determinist in physics and biology, and a mystic in psychology.\n\t\t-- D.O. Hebb, \"Organization of Behavior: A Neuropsychological\n\t\t   Theory\", 1949\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21914,61,'\nMore than any time in history, mankind now faces a crossroads.  One path\nleads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction.\nLet us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen, \"Side Effects\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21915,61,'\n\"Multiply in your head\" (ordered the compassionate Dr. Adams) \"365,365,365,\n365,365,365 by 365,365,365,365,365,365\".  He [ten-year-old Truman Henry\nSafford] flew around the room like a top, pulled his pantaloons over the\ntops of his boots, bit his hands, rolled his eyes in their sockets, sometimes\nsmiling and talking, and then seeming to be in an agony, until, in not more\nthan one minute, said he, 133,491,850,208,566,925,016,658,299,941,583,255!\"\nAn electronic computer might do the job a little faster but it wouldn\'t be\nas much fun to watch.\n\t\t-- James R. Newman, \"The World of Mathematics\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21916,61,'\nMurphy\'s Law, that brash proletarian restatement of Godel\'s Theorem.\n\t\t-- Thomas Pynchon, \"Gravity\'s Rainbow\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21917,61,'\nMy geometry teacher was sometimes acute, and sometimes obtuse, but always,\nalways, he was right.\n\t[That\'s an interesting angle.  I wonder if there are any parallels?]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21918,61,'\n\tMy message is not that biological determinists were bad scientists or\neven that they were always wrong.  Rather, I believe that science must be\nunderstood as a social phenomenon, a gutsy, human enterprise, not the work of\nrobots programmed to collect pure information.  I also present this view as\nan upbeat for science, not as a gloomy epitaph for a noble hope sacrificed on\nthe alter of human limitations.\n\tI believe that a factual reality exists and that science, though often\nin an obtuse and erratic manner, can learn about it.  Galileo was not shown\nthe instruments of torture in an abstract debate about lunar motion.  He had\nthreatened the Church\'s conventional argument for social and doctrinal\nstability:  the static world order with planets circling about a central\nearth, priests subordinate to the Pope and serfs to their lord.  But the\nChurch soon made its peace with Galileo\'s cosmology.  They had no choice; the\nearth really does revolve about the sun.\n\t\t-- S.J. Gould, \"The Mismeasure of Man\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21919,61,'\nMystics always hope that science will some day overtake them.\n\t\t-- Booth Tarkington\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21920,61,'\nNatural laws have no pity.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21921,61,'\nNature abhors a hero.  For one thing, he violates the law of conservation\nof energy.  For another, how can it be the survival of the fittest when the\nfittest keeps putting himself in situations where he is most likely to be\ncreamed?\n\t\t-- Solomon Short\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21922,61,'\nNature always sides with the hidden flaw.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21923,61,'\nNature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where,\nit cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.\n\t\t-- Fran Lebowitz\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21924,61,'\nNature, to be commanded, must be obeyed.\n\t\t-- Francis Bacon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21925,61,'\nNeil Armstrong tripped.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21926,61,'\nNeutrinos are into physicists.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21927,61,'\nNeutrinos have bad breadth.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21928,61,'\nNever worry about theory as long as the machinery does what it\'s supposed to do.\n\t\t-- R. A. Heinlein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21929,61,'\nNo amount of careful planning will ever replace dumb luck.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21930,61,'\nNo amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21931,61,'\nNondeterminism means never having to say you are wrong.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21932,61,'\nNonsense.  Space is blue and birds fly through it.\n\t\t-- Heisenberg\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21933,61,'\nNot far from here, by a white sun, behind a green star, lived the\nSteelypips, illustrious, industrious, and they hadn\'t a care: no spats in\ntheir vats, no rules, no schools, no gloom, no evil influence of the\nmoon, no trouble from matter or antimatter -- for they had a machine, a\ndream of a machine, with springs and gears and perfect in every respect.\nAnd they lived with it, and on it, and under it, and inside it, for it\nwas all they had -- first they saved up all their atoms, then they put\nthem all together, and if one didn\'t fit, why they chipped at it a bit,\nand everything was just fine ...\n\t\t-- Stanislaw Lem, \"Cyberiad\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21934,61,'\nNothing is faster than the speed of light ...\n\nTo prove this to yourself, try opening the refrigerator door before the\nlight comes on.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21935,61,'\nNothing is rich but the inexhaustible wealth of nature.\nShe shows us only surfaces, but she is a million fathoms deep.\n\t\t-- Ralph Waldo Emerson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21936,61,'\nNuclear powered vacuuum cleaners will probably be a reality within 10 years.\n\t\t-- Alex Lewyt (President of the Lewyt Corporation,\n\t\t   manufacturers of vacuum cleaners), quoted in The New York\n\t\t   Times, June 10, 1955.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21937,61,'\nNumeric stability is probably not all that important when you\'re guessing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21938,61,'\n\"Obviously, a major malfunction has occurred.\"\n\t\t-- Steve Nesbitt, voice of Mission Control, January 28,\n\t\t   1986, as the shuttle Challenger exploded within view\n\t\t   of the grandstands.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21939,61,'\nOf course you can\'t flap your arms and fly to the moon.  After a while you\'d\nrun out of air to push against.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21940,61,'\nOften statistics are used as a drunken man uses lampposts -- for support\nrather than illumination.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21941,61,'\nOn a paper submitted by a physicist colleague:\n\n\"This isn\'t right.  This isn\'t even wrong.\"\n\t\t-- Wolfgang Pauli\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21942,61,'\nOnce upon a time, when I was training to be a mathematician, a group of\nus bright young students taking number theory discovered the names of the\nsmaller prime numbers.\n\n2:  The Odd Prime --\n\tIt\'s the only even prime, therefore is odd.  QED.\n3:  The True Prime --\n\tLewis Carroll: \"If I tell you 3 times, it\'s true.\"\n31: The Arbitrary Prime --\n\tDetermined by unanimous unvote.  We needed an arbitrary prime in\n\tcase the prof asked for one, and so had an election.  91 received\n\tthe most votes (well, it *looks* prime) and 3+4i the next most.\n\tHowever, 31 was the only candidate to receive none at all.\n41: The Female Prime --\n\tThe polynomial X**2 - X + 41 is\n\tprime for integer values from 1 to 40.\n43: The Male Prime - they form a prime pair.\n\nSince the composite numbers are formed from primes, their qualities\nare derived from those primes.  So, for instance, the number 6 is \"odd\nbut true\", while the powers of 2 are all extremely odd numbers.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21943,61,'\n\tOnce, when the secrets of science were the jealously guarded property\nof a small priesthood, the common man had no hope of mastering their arcane\ncomplexities.  Years of study in musty classrooms were prerequisite to\nobtaining even a dim, incoherent knowledge of science.\n\tToday all that has changed: a dim, incoherent knowledge of science is\navailable to anyone.\n\t\t-- Tom Weller, \"Science Made Stupid\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21944,61,'\nOne Bell System - it sometimes works.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21945,61,'\nOne Bell System - it used to work before they installed the Dimension!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21946,61,'\nOne Bell System - it works.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21947,61,'\nOne can search the brain with a microscope and not find the\nmind, and can search the stars with a telescope and not find God.\n\t\t-- J. Gustav White\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21948,61,'\nOne can\'t proceed from the informal to the formal by formal means.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21949,61,'\nOne could not be a successful scientist without realizing that, in contrast\nto the popular conception supported by newspapers and mothers of scientists,\na goodly number of scientists are not only narrow-minded and dull, but also\njust stupid.\n\t\t-- J.D. Watson, \"The Double Helix\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21950,61,'\nOne day this guy is finally fed up with his middle-class existence and\ndecides to do something about it.  He calls up his best friend, who is a\nmathematical genius.  \"Look,\" he says, \"do you suppose you could find some\nway mathematically of guaranteeing winning at the race track?  We could\nmake a lot of money and retire and enjoy life.\"  The mathematician thinks\nthis over a bit and walks away mumbling to himself.\n\tA week later his friend drops by to ask the genius if he\'s had any\nsuccess.  The genius, looking a little bleary-eyed, replies, \"Well, yes,\nactually I do have an idea, and I\'m reasonably sure that it will work, but\nthere a number of details to be figured out.\n\tAfter the second week the mathematician appears at his friend\'s house,\nlooking quite a bit rumpled, and announces, \"I think I\'ve got it! I still have\nsome of the theory to work out, but now I\'m certain that I\'m on the right\ntrack.\"\n\tAt the end of the third week the mathematician wakes his friend by\npounding on his door at three in the morning.  He has dark circles under his\neyes.  His hair hasn\'t been combed for many days.  He appears to be wearing\nthe same clothes as the last time.  He has several pencils sticking out from\nbehind his ears and an almost maniacal expression on his face.  \"WE CAN DO\nIT!  WE CAN DO IT!!\" he shrieks. \"I have discovered the perfect solution!!\nAnd it\'s so EASY!  First, we assume that horses are perfect spheres in simple\nharmonic motion...\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21951,61,'\nOne has to look out for engineers -- they begin with sewing machines\nand end up with the atomic bomb.\n\t\t-- Marcel Pagnol\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21952,61,'\nOne man\'s \"magic\" is another man\'s engineering.  \"Supernatural\" is a null word.\n\t\t-- Robert Heinlein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21953,61,'\nOne man\'s constant is another man\'s variable.\n\t\t-- A.J. Perlis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21954,61,'\nOne of the chief duties of the mathematician in acting as an advisor...\nis to discourage... from expecting too much from mathematics.\n\t\t-- N. Wiener\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21955,61,'\nOne small step for man, one giant stumble for mankind.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21956,61,'\nOne thing they don\'t tell you about doing experimental physics is that\nsometimes you must work under adverse conditions... like a state of sheer\nterror.\n\t\t-- W.K. Hartmann\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21957,61,'\nOnly God can make random selections.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21958,61,'\nOntogeny recapitulates phylogeny.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21959,61,'\nOptimization hinders evolution.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21960,61,'\nOrder and simplification are the first steps toward mastery of a subject\n-- the actual enemy is the unknown.\n\t\t-- Thomas Mann\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21961,61,'\nOrganic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds.  Biochemistry\nis the study of carbon compounds that crawl.\n\t\t-- Mike Adams\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21962,61,'\n\"Our vision is to speed up time, eventually eliminating it.\"\n\t\t-- Alex Schure\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21963,61,'\nOxygen is a very toxic gas and an extreme fire hazard.  It is fatal in\nconcentrations of as little as 0.000001 p.p.m.  Humans exposed to the\noxygen concentrations die within a few minutes.  Symptoms resemble very\nmuch those of cyanide poisoning (blue face, etc.).  In higher\nconcentrations, e.g. 20');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21964,61,', the toxic effect is somewhat delayed and it\ntakes about 2.5 billion inhalations before death takes place.  The reason\nfor the delay is the difference in the mechanism of the toxic effect of\noxygen in 20');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21965,61,' concentration.  It apparently contributes to a complex\nprocess called aging, of which very little is known, except that it is\nalways fatal.\n\nHowever, the main disadvantage of the 20');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21966,61,' oxygen concentration is in the\nfact it is habit forming.  The first inhalation (occurring at birth) is\nsufficient to make oxygen addiction permanent.  After that, any\nconsiderable decrease in the daily oxygen doses results in death with\nsymptoms resembling those of cyanide poisoning.\n\nOxygen is an extreme fire hazard.  All of the fires that were reported in\nthe continental U.S. for the period of the past 25 years were found to be\ndue to the presence of this gas in the atmosphere surrounding the buildings\nin question.\n\nOxygen is especially dangerous because it is odorless, colorless and\ntasteless, so that its presence can not be readily detected until it is\ntoo late.\n\t\t-- Chemical & Engineering News February 6, 1956\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21967,61,'\nParallel lines never meet, unless you bend one or both of them.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21968,61,'\nParts that positively cannot be assembled in improper order will be.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21969,61,'\nPeople who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn\'t.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21970,61,'\nPhilogyny recapitulates erogeny; erogeny recapitulates philogyny.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21971,61,'\n\"Picture the sun as the origin of two intersecting 6-dimensional\nhyperplanes from which we can deduce a certain transformational\nsequence which gives us the terminal velocity of a rubber duck ...\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21972,61,'\nPie are not square.  Pie are round.  Cornbread are square.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21973,61,'\nPolymer physicists are into chains.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21974,61,'\nPound for pound, the amoeba is the most vicious animal on earth.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21975,61,'\nPower corrupts.  And atomic power corrupts atomically.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21976,61,'\nProgress means replacing a theory that is wrong with one more subtly wrong.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21977,61,'\nProof techniques #1: Proof by Induction.\n\nThis technique is used on equations with \"_\bn\" in them.  Induction\ntechniques are very popular, even the military used them.\n\nSAMPLE: Proof of induction without proof of induction.\n\n\tWe know it\'s true for _\bn equal to 1.  Now assume that it\'s true\nfor every natural number less than _\bn.  _\bN is arbitrary, so we can take _\bn\nas large as we want.  If _\bn is sufficiently large, the case of _\bn+1 is\ntrivially equivalent, so the only important _\bn are _\bn less than _\bn.  We\ncan take _\bn = _\bn (from above), so it\'s true for _\bn+1 because it\'s just\nabout _\bn.\n\tQED.\t(QED translates from the Latin as \"So what?\")\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21978,61,'\n... proper attention to Earthly needs of the poor, the depressed and the\ndowntrodden, would naturally evolve from dynamic, articulate, spirited\nawareness of the great goals for Man and the society he conspired to erect.\n\t\t-- David Baker, paraphrasing Harold Urey, in\n\t\t   \"The History of Manned Space Flight\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21979,61,'\nPrototype designs always work.\n\t\t-- Don Vonada\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21980,61,'\n\"Protozoa are small, and bacteria are small, but viruses are smaller\nthan the both put together.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21981,61,'\nPsychologists think they\'re experimental psychologists.\nExperimental psychologists think they\'re biologists.\nBiologists think they\'re biochemists.\nBiochemists think they\'re chemists.\nChemists think they\'re physical chemists.\nPhysical chemists think they\'re physicists.\nPhysicists think they\'re theoretical physicists.\nTheoretical physicists think they\'re mathematicians.\nMathematicians think they\'re metamathematicians.\nMetamathematicians think they\'re philosophers.\nPhilosophers think they\'re gods.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21982,61,'\nQuantum Mechanics is a lovely introduction to Hilbert Spaces!\n\t\t-- Overheard at last year\'s Archimedeans\' Garden Party\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21983,61,'\nQuantum Mechanics is God\'s version of \"Trust me.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21984,61,'\nQuark!  Quark!  Beware the quantum duck!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21985,61,'\nRadioactive cats have 18 half-lives.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21986,61,'\nReality must take precedence over public relations, for Mother Nature\ncannot be fooled.\n\t\t-- R.P. Feynman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21987,61,'\nRecession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you\nlose your job.  These economic downturns are very difficult to predict,\nbut sophisticated econometric modeling houses like Data Resources and\nChase Econometrics have successfully predicted 14 of the last 3 recessions.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21988,61,'\n\t\"Reintegration complete,\" ZORAC advised.  \"We\'re back in the\nuniverse again...\"  An unusually long pause followed, \"...but I don\'t\nknow which part.  We seem to have changed our position in space.\"  A\nspherical display in the middle of the floor illuminated to show the\nstarfield surrounding the ship.\n\t\"Several large, artificial constructions are approaching us,\"\nZORAC announced after a short pause.  \"The designs are not familiar, but\nthey are obviously the products of intelligence.  Implications: we have\nbeen intercepted deliberately by a means unknown, for a purpose unknown,\nand transferred to a place unknown by a form of intelligence unknown.\nApart from the unknowns, everything is obvious.\"\n\t\t-- James P. Hogan, \"Giants Star\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21989,61,'\nRemember Darwin; building a better mousetrap merely results in smarter mice.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21990,61,'\nResearch is the best place to be: you work your buns off, and if it works\nyou\'re a hero; if it doesn\'t, well -- nobody else has done it yet either,\nso you\'re still a valiant nerd.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21991,61,'\nResearch is to see what everybody else has seen, and think what nobody\nelse has thought.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21992,61,'\nResearch is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.\n\t\t-- Wernher von Braun\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21993,61,'\nReview Questions\n\n(1) If Nerd on the planet Nutley starts out in his spaceship at 20 KPH,\n    and his speed doubles every 3.2 seconds, how long will it be before\n    he exceeds the speed of light?  How long will it be before the\n    Galactic Patrol picks up the pieces of his spaceship?\n\n(2) If Roger Rowdy wrecks his car every week, and each week he breaks\n    twice as many bones as before, how long will it be before he breaks\n    every bone in his body?  How long will it be before they cut off\n    his insurance?  Where does he get a new car every week?\n\n(3) If Johnson drinks one beer the first hour (slow start), four beers\n    the next hour, nine beers the next, etc., and stacks the cans in a\n    pyramid, how soon will Johnson\'s pyramid be larger than King\n    Tut\'s?  When will it fall on him?  Will he notice?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21994,61,'\nRound Numbers are always false.\n\t\t-- Samuel Johnson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21995,61,'\nSaliva causes cancer, but only if swallowed in small amounts over a long\nperiod of time.\n\t\t-- George Carlin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21996,61,'\nScience and religion are in full accord but science and faith are in complete\ndiscord.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21997,61,'\nScience is built up of facts, as a house is with stones.  But a collection\nof facts is no more a science than a heap of stones is a house.\n\t\t-- Jules Henri Poincar\'\be\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21998,61,'\nScience is what happens when preconception meets verification.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (21999,61,'\nScience may someday discover what faith has always known.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (22000,61,'\nScientists are people who build the Brooklyn Bridge and then buy it.\n\t\t-- William Buckley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (22001,61,'\nSentient plasmoids are a gas.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (22002,61,'\nSimplicity does not precede complexity, but follows it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (22003,61,'\nSo as your consumer electronics adviser, I am advising you to donate your\ncurrent VCR to a grate resident, who will laugh sardonically and hurl it\ninto a dumpster.  Then I want you to go out and purchase a vast array of\n8-millimeter video equipment.\n\n... OK!  Got everything?  Well, *too bad, sucker*, because while you were\ngone the electronics industry came up with an even newer format that makes\nyour 8-millimeter VCR look as technologically advanced as toenail dirt.\nThis format is called \"3.5 hectare\" and it will not be made available until\nit is outmoded, sometime early next week, by a format called \"Elroy\", so\n*order yours now*.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"No Surrender in the Electronics Revolution\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (22004,61,'\nSolutions are obvious if one only has the optical power to observe them\nover the horizon.\n\t\t-- K.A. Arsdall\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (22005,61,'\nSpace is big.  You just won\'t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly\nbig it is.  I mean, you may think it\'s a long way down the road to the\ndrug store, but that\'s just peanuts to space.\n\t\t-- The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (22006,61,'\nSpace is to place as eternity is to time.\n\t\t-- Joseph Joubert\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (22007,61,'\nSpace tells matter how to move and matter tells space how to curve.\n\t\t-- Wheeler\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (22008,61,'\nStatistics are no substitute for judgement.\n\t\t-- Henry Clay\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (22009,61,'\nStatistics means never having to say you\'re certain.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (22010,61,'\nStellar rays prove fibbing never pays.  Embezzlement is another matter.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (22011,61,'\nStuckness shouldn\'t be avoided.  It\'s the psychic predecessor of all\nreal understanding.  An egoless acceptance of stuckness is a key to an\nunderstanding of all Quality, in mechanical work as in other endeavors.\n\t\t-- R. Pirsig, \"Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (22012,61,'\nSupervisor: Do you think you understand the basic ideas of Quantum Mechanics?\nSupervisee: Ah! Well, what do we mean by \"to understand\" in the context of\n\t    Quantum Mechanics?\nSupervisor: You mean \"No\", don\'t you?\nSupervisee: Yes.\n\t\t-- Overheard at a supervision.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (22013,61,'\nSupport bacteria -- it\'s the only culture some people have!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (22014,61,'\nTake an astronaut to launch.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (22015,61,'\nTechnological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means\nfor going backwards.\n\t\t-- Aldous Huxley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (22016,61,'\nTechnology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (22017,61,'\nThat\'s one small step for a man; one giant leap for mankind.\n\t\t-- Neil Armstrong\n');
