INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12503,29,'\n\"The preeminence of a learned man over a worshiper is equal to the preeminence\nof the moon, at the night of the full moon, over all the stars.  Verily, the\nlearned men are the heirs of the Prophets.\"\n-- A tradition attributed to Muhammad\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12504,29,'\n\"The clergy successfully preached the doctrines of patience and pusillanimity;\nthe active virtues of society were discouraged; and the last remains of a\nmilitary spirit were buried in the cloister: a large portion of public and\nprivate wealth was consecrated to the specious demands of charity and devotion;\nand the soldiers\' pay was lavished on the useless multitudes of both sexes\nwho could only plead the merits of abstinence and chastity.\"\n-- Edward Gibbons, _The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire_\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12505,29,'\n\"The question is rather: if we ever succeed in making a mind \'of nuts and\nbolts\', how will we know we have succeeded?\n-- Fergal Toomey\n\n\"It will tell us.\"\n-- Barry Kort\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12506,29,'\n\"Inquiry is fatal to certainty.\"\n-- Will Durant\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12507,29,'\n\"The Mets were great in \'sixty eight,\n The Cards were fine in \'sixty nine,\n But the Cubs will be heavenly in nineteen and seventy.\"\n-- Ernie Banks\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12508,29,'\n\"On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament!], \'Pray, Mr. \nBabbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers\ncome out?\'  I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas \nthat could provoke such a question.\"\n-- Charles Babbage\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12509,29,'\n\"I call Christianity the *one* great curse, the *one* great intrinsic \ndepravity, the *one* great instinct for revenge for which no expedient\nis sufficiently poisonous, secret, subterranean, *petty* -- I call it\nthe *one* mortal blemish of mankind.\"\n-- Friedrich Nietzsche\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12510,29,'\n\"The fundamental purpose animating the Faith of God and His Religion is to\nsafeguard the interests and promote the unity of the human race, and to foster\nthe spirit of love and fellowship amongst men. Suffer it not to become a source\nof dissension and discord, of hate and enmity.\"\n\n\"Religion is verily the chief instrument for the establishment of order in the\n world and of tranquillity amongst it\'s peoples...The greater the decline of\n religion, the more grievous the waywardness of the ungodly. This cannot but\n lead in the end to chaos and confusion.\"\n-- Baha\'u\'llah, a selection from the Baha\'i scripture\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12511,29,'\n\"Cogito ergo I\'m right and you\'re wrong.\"\n-- Blair Houghton\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12512,29,'\n\"...one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that,\nlacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of\ntheir C programs.\"\n-- Robert Firth\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12513,29,'\nQ: Somebody just posted that Roman Polanski directed Star Wars.  What\nshould I do?\n\nA: Post the correct answer at once!  We can\'t have people go on believing\nthat!  Very good of you to spot this.  You\'ll probably be the only one to\nmake the correction, so post as soon as you can.  No time to lose, so\ncertainly don\'t wait a day, or check to see if somebody else has made the\ncorrection.\n\nAnd it\'s not good enough to send the message by mail.  Since you\'re the\nonly one who really knows that it was Francis Coppola, you have to inform\nthe whole net right away!\n\n-- Brad Templeton, _Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette_\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12514,29,'\nQ: How can I choose what groups to post in?  ...\nQ: How about an example?\n\nA: Ok.  Let\'s say you want to report that Gretzky has been traded from the\nOilers to the Kings.  Now right away you might think rec.sport.hockey\nwould be enough.  WRONG.  Many more people might be interested.  This is a\nbig trade!  Since it\'s a NEWS article, it belongs in the news.* hierarchy\nas well.  If you are a news admin, or there is one on your machine, try\nnews.admin.  If not, use news.misc.\n\nThe Oilers are probably interested in geology, so try sci.physics.  He is\na big star, so post to sci.astro, and sci.space because they are also\ninterested in stars.  Next, his name is Polish sounding.  So post to\nsoc.culture.polish.  But that group doesn\'t exist, so cross-post to\nnews.groups suggesting it should be created.  With this many groups of\ninterest, your article will be quite bizarre, so post to talk.bizarre as\nwell.  (And post to comp.std.mumps, since they hardly get any articles\nthere, and a \"comp\" group will propagate your article further.)\n\nYou may also find it is more fun to post the article once in each group.\nIf you list all the newsgroups in the same article, some newsreaders will\nonly show the the article to the reader once!  Don\'t tolerate this.\n-- Brad Templeton, _Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette_\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12515,29,'\nQ: I cant spell worth a dam.  I hope your going too tell me what to do?\n\nA: Don\'t worry about how your articles look.  Remember it\'s the message\nthat counts, not the way it\'s presented.  Ignore the fact that sloppy\nspelling in a purely written forum sends out the same silent messages that\nsoiled clothing would when addressing an audience.\n\n-- Brad Templeton, _Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette_\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12516,29,'\nQ: They just announced on the radio that Dan Quayle was picked as the\nRepublican V.P. candidate.  Should I post?\n\nA: Of course.  The net can reach people in as few as 3 to 5 days.  It\'s\nthe perfect way to inform people about such news events long after the\nbroadcast networks have covered them.  As you are probably the only person\nto have heard the news on the radio, be sure to post as soon as you can.\n\n-- Brad Templeton, _Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette_\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12517,29,'\nWhat did Mickey Mouse get for Christmas?\n\nA Dan Quayle watch.\n\n-- heard from a Mike Dukakis field worker\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12518,29,'\nQ:  What\'s the difference between a car salesman and a computer\n    salesman?\n\nA:  The car salesman can probably drive!\n\n-- Joan McGalliard (jem@latcs1.oz.au)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12519,29,'\n\"Your stupidity, Allen, is simply not up to par.\"\n-- Dave Mack (mack@inco.UUCP)\n\n\"Yours is.\"\n-- Allen Gwinn (allen@sulaco.sigma.com), in alt.flame\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12520,29,'\nA selection from the Taoist Writings:\n\n\"Lao-Tan asked Confucius: `What do you mean by benevolence and righteousness?\'\n Confucius said:  `To be in one\'s inmost heart in kindly sympathy with all \n things; to love all men and allow no selfish thoughts: this is the nature\n of benevolence and righteousness.\'\"\n-- Kwang-tzu\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12521,29,'\n\"Jesus saves...but Gretzky gets the rebound!\"\n-- Daniel Hinojosa (hinojosa@hp-sdd)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12522,29,'\n\"Anything created must necessarily be inferior to the essence of the creator.\"\n-- Claude Shouse (shouse@macomw.ARPA)\n\n\"Einstein\'s mother must have been one heck of a physicist.\"\n-- Joseph C. Wang (joe@athena.mit.edu)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12523,29,'\n\"Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will\nfade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines.\"\n-- Bertrand Russell\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12524,29,'\n\"Lying lips are abomination to the Lord; but they that deal truly are his \n delight.\n A soft answer turneth away wrath; but grievous words stir up anger.\n He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto\n him.\n Be not a witness against thy neighbor without cause; and deceive not with \n thy lips.\n Death and life are in the power of the tongue.\"\n-- Proverbs, some selections from the Jewish Scripture\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12525,29,'\n\"As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and\nI thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life -- so I became a scientist.\nThis is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.\" \n-- Matt Cartmill\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12526,29,'\nHeisengberg might have been here.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12527,29,'\n\"Any excuse will serve a tyrant.\"\n-- Aesop\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12528,29,'\n\"Experience has proved that some people indeed know everything.\"\n-- Russell Baker\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12529,29,'\nHow many Zen Buddhist does it take to change a light bulb?\n\nTwo.  One to change it and one not to change it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12530,29,'\n\"I prefer the blunted cudgels of the followers of the Serpent God.\"\n-- Sean Doran the Younger\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12531,29,'\n\"If I do not want others to quote me, I do not speak.\"  \n-- Phil Wayne\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12532,29,'\n\"my terminal is a lethal teaspoon.\"\n-- Patricia O Tuama\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12533,29,'\n\"I am ... a woman ... and ... technically a parasitic uterine growth\"\n-- Sean Doran the Younger [allegedly]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12534,29,'\n\"Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers\' every time\nsomeone writes `bible thumpers?\'\n-- Joel M. Snyder, jms@mis.arizona.edu\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12535,29,'\n\"Money is the root of all money.\"\n-- the moving finger\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12536,29,'\n\"...Greg Nowak:  `Another flame from greg\' - need I say more?\"\n-- Jonathan D. Trudel, trudel@caip.rutgers.edu\n\n\"No.  You need to say less.\"\n-- Richard Sexton, richard@gryphon.COM\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12537,29,'\n\"And it\'s my opinion, and that\'s only my opinion, you are a lunatic.  Just\nbecause there are a few hunderd other people sharing your lunacy with you\ndoes not make you any saner.  Doomed, eh?\"\n-- Oleg Kiselev,oleg@CS.UCLA.EDU\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12538,29,'\n\"Obedience.  A religion of slaves.  A religion of intellectual death.  I like\nit.  Don\'t ask questions, don\'t think, obey the Word of the Lord -- as it\nhas been conveniently brought to you by a man in a Rolls with a heavy Rolex\non his wrist.  I like that job!  Where can I sign up?\"\n-- Oleg Kiselev,oleg@CS.UCLA.EDU\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12539,29,'\n\"Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is to a \ncockatoo.\"\n-- George Bernard Shaw\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12540,29,'\n\"Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and \nthose inside desperate to get out.\"\n-- Montaigne\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12541,29,'\n\"For a male and female to live continuously together is...  biologically \nspeaking, an extremely unnatural condition.\"\n-- Robert Briffault\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12542,29,'\n\"Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.\"\n-- Baskins\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12543,29,'\nA man is not complete until he is married -- then he is finished.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12544,29,'\nMarriage is the sole cause of divorce.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12545,29,'\nMarriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.  Second marriage is \nthe triumph of hope over experience.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12546,29,'\n\"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain.\"\n-- G. Fitch\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12547,29,'\n\"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.\"\n-- Mark Twain\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12548,29,'\n\"I am convinced that the manufacturers of carpet odor removing powder have \n included encapsulated time released cat urine in their products.  This \n technology must be what prevented its distribution during my mom\'s reign.  My \n carpet smells like piss, and I don\'t have a cat.  Better go by some more.\"\n-- timw@zeb.USWest.COM, in alt.conspiracy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12549,29,'\n\"If there isn\'t a population problem, why is the government putting cancer in \nthe cigarettes?\"\n-- the elder Steptoe, c. 1970\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12550,29,'\n\"If you don\'t want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do:  Pour a little\n Lavoris in the toilet.\"\n-- Comedian Jay Leno\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12551,29,'\n\"Here\'s something to think about:  How come you never see a headline like\n `Psychic Wins Lottery.\'\"\n-- Comedian Jay Leno\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12552,29,'\n\"Well hello there Charlie Brown, you blockhead.\"\n-- Lucy Van Pelt\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12553,29,'\n\"Time is an illusion.  Lunchtime doubly so.\"\n-- Ford Prefect, _Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy_\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12554,29,'\n\"Ignorance is the soil in which belief in miracles grows.\"\n-- Robert G. Ingersoll\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12555,29,'\n\"Let every man teach his son, teach his daughter, that labor is honorable.\"\n-- Robert G. Ingersoll\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12556,29,'\n\"I have not the slightest confidence in \'spiritual manifestations.\'\"\n-- Robert G. Ingersoll\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12557,29,'\n\"It is hard to overstate the debt that we owe to men and women of genius.\"\n-- Robert G. Ingersoll\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12558,29,'\n\"Joy is wealth and love is the legal tender of the soul.\"\n-- Robert G. Ingersoll\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12559,29,'\n\"The hands that help are better far than the lips that pray.\"\n-- Robert G. Ingersoll\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12560,29,'\n\"It is the creationists who blasphemously are claiming that God is cheating\n us in a stupid way.\"\n-- J. W. Nienhuys\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12561,29,'\n\"No, no, I don\'t mind being called the smartest man in the world.  I just wish \n it wasn\'t this one.\"\n-- Adrian Veidt/Ozymandias, WATCHMEN \n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12562,29,'\n\"Be *excellent* to each other.\"\n-- Bill, or Ted, in Bill and Ted\'s Excellent Adventure\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12563,29,'\nThe Seventh Edition licensing procedures are, I suppose, still in effect, \nthough I doubt that tapes are available from AT&T.  At any rate, whatever \nrestrictions the license imposes still exist.  These restrictions were and \nare reasonable for places that just want to run the system, but don\'t allow \nmany of the things that Minix was written for, like study of the source in \nclasses, or by individuals not in a university or company.\n\nI\'ve always thought that Minix was a fine idea, and competently done.\n\nAs for the size of v7, wc -l /usr/sys/*/*.[chs] is 19271.\n\n-- Dennis Ritchie, 1989\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12564,29,'\n\"Our vision is to speed up time, eventually eliminating it.\" -- Alex Schure\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12565,29,'\n\"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips\n over, pinning you underneath.  At night, the ice weasels come.\"\n--Matt Groening\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12566,29,'\n\"I\'m not afraid of dying, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.\"\n-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12567,29,'\n\"The Street finds its own uses for technology.\"\n-- William Gibson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12568,29,'\n\"I see little divinity about them or you.  You talk to me of Christianity\nwhen you are in the act of hanging your enemies.  Was there ever such\nblasphemous nonsense!\"\n-- Shaw, \"The Devil\'s Disciple\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12569,29,'\n\"You and I as individuals can, by borrowing, live beyond our means, but\nonly for a limited period of time.  Why should we think that collectively,\nas a nation, we are not bound by that same limitation?\"\n-- Ronald Reagan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12570,29,'\n\"He did decide, though, that with more time and a great deal of mental effort,\nhe could probably turn the activity into an acceptable perversion.\"\n-- Mick Farren, _When Gravity Fails_\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12571,29,'\n\"Conversion, fastidious Goddess, loves blood better than brick, and feasts\nmost subtly on the human will.\"\n-- Virginia Woolf, \"Mrs. Dalloway\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12572,29,'\nIt\'s time to boot, do your boot ROMs know where your disk controllers are?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12573,29,'\n\"What the scientists have in their briefcases is terrifying.\"\n-- Nikita Khrushchev\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12574,29,'\n\"...a most excellent barbarian ... Genghis Kahn!\"\n-- _Bill And Ted\'s Excellent Adventure_\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12575,29,'\n\"Pull the trigger and you\'re garbage.\"\n-- Lady Blue\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12576,29,'\n\"Oh what wouldn\'t I give to be spat at in the face...\"\n-- a prisoner in \"Life of Brian\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12577,29,'\n\"Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy\nof him that brought her birth.\"\n-- Milton\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12578,29,'\n\"If you can\'t debate me, then there is no way in hell you\'ll out-insult me.\"\n-- Scott Legrand (Scott.Legrand@hogbbs.Fidonet.Org)\n\n\"You may be wrong here, little one.\"\n-- R. W. F. Clark (RWC102@PSUVM)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12579,29,'\n\t\"Yes, I am a real piece of work.  One thing we learn at Ulowell is\n how to flame useless hacking non-EE\'s like you.  I am superior to you in \n every way by training and expertise in the technical field.  Anyone can learn\n how to hack, but Engineering doesn\'t come nearly as easily.  Actually, I\'m \n not trying to offend all you CS majors out there, but I think EE is one of the\n hardest majors/grad majors to pass.  Fortunately, I am making it.\"\n-- \"Warrior Diagnostics\" (wardiag@sky.COM)\n\n\"Being both an EE and an asshole at the same time must be a terrible burden\n for you.  This isn\'t really a flame, just a casual observation.  Makes me\n glad I was a CS major, life is really pleasant for me.  Have fun with your \n chosen mode of existence!\"\n-- Jim Morrison (morrisj@mist.cs.orst.edu)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12580,29,'\n\"BYTE editors are men who seperate the wheat from the chaff, and then\n print the chaff.\"\n-- Lionel Hummel (uiucdcs!hummel), derived from a quote by Adlai Stevenson, Sr.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12581,29,'\n\t\t     THE \"FUN WITH USENET\" MANIFESTO\nVery little happens on Usenet without some sort of response from some other \nreader.  Fun With Usenet postings are no exception.  Since there are some who \nmight question the rationale of some of the excerpts included therein, I have \nwritten up a list of guidelines that sum up the philosophy behind these \npostings.\n\n\tOne.  I never cut out words in the middle of a quote without a VERY \ngood reason, and I never cut them out without including ellipses.  For \ninstance, \"I am not a goob\" might become \"I am ... a goob\", but that\'s too \nmundane to bother with.  \"I\'m flame proof\" might (and has) become \n\"I\'m ...a... p...oof\" but that\'s REALLY stretching it.\n\n\tTwo.  If I cut words off the beginning or end of a quote, I don\'t\nput ellipses, but neither do I capitalize something that wasn\'t capitalized\nbefore the cut. \"I don\'t think that the Church of Ubizmo is a wonderful\nplace\" would turn into \"the Church of Ubizmo is a wonderful place\".  Imagine\nthe posting as a tape-recording of the poster\'s thoughts.  If I can set\nup the quote via fast-forwarding and stopping the tape, and without splicing,\nI don\'t put ellipses in.  And by the way, I love using this mechanism for\nturning things around.  If you think something stinks, say so - don\'t say you\ndon\'t think it\'s wonderful.   ...\n-- D. J. McCarthy (dmccart@cadape.UUCP)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12582,29,'\n\"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary\nsaftey deserve neither liberty not saftey.\"\n-- Benjamin Franklin, 1759\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12583,29,'\n\"I am, therefore I am.\"\n-- Akira\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12584,29,'\n\"Stan and I thought that this experiment was so stupid, we decided to finance \n it ourselves.\"\n-- Martin Fleischmann, co-discoverer of room-temperature fusion (?)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12585,29,'\n\"I have more information in one place than anybody in the world.\"  \n-- Jerry Pournelle, an absurd notion, apparently about the BIX BBS\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12586,29,'\n\"It\'s what you learn after you know it all that counts.\"\n-- John Wooden\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12587,29,'\n#define BITCOUNT(x)\t(((BX_(x)+(BX_(x)>>4)) & 0x0F0F0F0F) ');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12588,29,' 255)\n#define  BX_(x)\t\t((x) - (((x)>>1)&0x77777777)\t\t\t\\\n\t\t\t     - (((x)>>2)&0x33333333)\t\t\t\\\n\t\t\t     - (((x)>>3)&0x11111111))\n\n-- really weird C code to count the number of bits in a word\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12589,29,'\n\"If you can write a nation\'s stories, you needn\'t worry about who makes its \n laws.  Today, television tells most of the stories to most of the people \n most of the time.\"\n-- George Gerbner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12590,29,'\n\"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists\n in trying to adapt the world to himself.  Therefore all progress depends on \n the unreasonable man.\"\n-- George Bernard Shaw\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12591,29,'\n\"We want to create puppets that pull their own strings.\"\n-- Ann Marion\n\n\"Would this make them Marionettes?\"\n-- Jeff Daiell\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12592,29,'\nOn the subject of C program indentation:\n\"In My Egotistical Opinion, most people\'s C programs should be indented\n six feet downward and covered with dirt.\"\n-- Blair P. Houghton\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12593,29,'\nThere was, it appeared, a mysterious rite of initiation through which, in\none way or another, almost every member of the team passed.  The term that\nthe old hands used for this rite -- West invented the term, not the practice --\nwas `signing up.\'  By signing up for the project you agreed to do whatever\nwas necessary for success.  You agreed to forsake, if necessary, family,\nhobbies, and friends -- if you had any of these left (and you might not, if\nyou had signed up too many times before).\n-- Tracy Kidder, _The Soul of a New Machine_\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12594,29,'\n\"By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began\nto suspect \"Hungry.\"\n-- a Larson cartoon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12595,29,'\n\"But don\'t you see, the color of wine in a crystal glass can be spiritual.\n The look in a face, the music of a violin.  A Paris theater can be infused\n with the spiritual for all its solidity.\"\n -- Lestat, _The Vampire Lestat_, Anne Rice\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12596,29,'\n\"Love your country but never trust its government.\"\n-- from a hand-painted road sign in central Pennsylvania\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12597,29,'\n      I bought the latest computer;\n      it came fully loaded.\n      It was guaranteed for 90 days,\n      but in 30 was outmoded!\n        - The Wall Street Journal passed along by Big Red Computer\'s SCARLETT\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12598,29,'\nTo update Voltaire, \"I may kill all msgs from you, but I\'ll fight for \nyour right to post it, and I\'ll let it reside on my disks\". \n-- Doug Thompson (doug@isishq.FIDONET.ORG)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12599,29,'\n\"Though a program be but three lines long,\nsomeday it will have to be maintained.\"\n-- The Tao of Programming\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12600,29,'\n\"Turn on, tune up, rock out.\"\n-- Billy Gibbons\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12601,29,'\n         EARTH          \n     smog  |   bricks  \n AIR  --  mud  --  FIRE\nsoda water |   tequila \n         WATER        \n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12602,29,'\n\"Of course power tools and alcohol don\'t mix.  Everyone knows power tools aren\'t\nsoluble in alcohol...\"\n-- Crazy Nigel\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12603,29,'\n\"Life sucks, but death doesn\'t put out at all....\"\n-- Thomas J. Kopp\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12604,29,'\n\"There is no Father Christmas.  It\'s just a marketing ploy \nto make low income parents\' lives a misery.\"\n\"... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child,\nstreaked with tears because of what you just said.\"\n\"I want you to picture the face of its mother, because one\nweek\'s dole won\'t pay for one Master of the Universe\nBattlecruiser!\"\n- Filthy Rich and Catflap, 1986.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12605,29,'\n   n = ((n >>  1) & 0x55555555) | ((n <<  1) & 0xaaaaaaaa);\n   n = ((n >>  2) & 0x33333333) | ((n <<  2) & 0xcccccccc);\n   n = ((n >>  4) & 0x0f0f0f0f) | ((n <<  4) & 0xf0f0f0f0);\n   n = ((n >>  8) & 0x00ff00ff) | ((n <<  8) & 0xff00ff00);\n   n = ((n >> 16) & 0x0000ffff) | ((n << 16) & 0xffff0000);\n\n-- Yet another mystical \'C\' gem. This one reverses the bits in a word.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12606,29,'\n\"All over the place, from the popular culture to the propaganda system, there is\nconstant pressure to make people feel that they are helpless, that the only role\nthey can have is to ratify decisions and to consume.\"\n-- Noam Chomsky\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12607,29,'\n\"A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple\nsystem that worked.\"\n-- John Gall, _Systemantics_\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12608,29,'\n\"In my opinion, Richard Stallman wouldn\'t recognise terrorism if it\ncame up and bit him on his Internet.\"\n-- Ross M. Greenberg\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12609,29,'\nI made it a rule to forbear all direct contradictions to the sentiments of \nothers, and all positive assertion of my own.  I even forbade myself the use \nof every word or expression in the language that imported a fixed opinion, \nsuch as \"certainly\", \"undoubtedly\", etc.   I adopted instead of them \"I \nconceive\", \"I apprehend\", or \"I imagine\" a thing to be so or so; or \"so it \nappears to me at present\".\n\nWhen another asserted something that I thought an error, I denied myself the \npleasure of contradicting him abruptly, and of showing him immediately some \nabsurdity in his proposition.  In answering I began by observing that in \ncertain cases or circumstances his opinion would be right, but in the present\ncase there appeared or semed to me some difference, etc.\n\nI soon found the advantage of this change in my manner; the conversations I \nengaged in went on more pleasantly.  The modest way in which I proposed my \nopinions procured them a readier reception and less contradiction.  I had \nless mortification when I was found to be in the wrong, and I more easily \nprevailed with others to give up their mistakes and join with me when I \nhappened to be in the right.\n-- Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12610,29,'\n\"If I ever get around to writing that language depompisifier, it will change\nalmost all occurences of the word \"paradigm\" into \"example\" or \"model.\"\n-- Herbie Blashtfalt\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12611,29,'\n\"Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can\'t like it.\"\n-- Marvin the paranoid android\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12612,29,'\nContemptuous lights flashed flashed across the computer\'s console.\n-- Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12613,29,'\n\"There must be some mistake,\" he said, \"are you not a greater computer than\nthe Milliard Gargantubrain which can count all the atoms in a star in a\nmillisecond?\"\n\"The Milliard Gargantubrain?\" said Deep Thought with unconcealed contempt.\n\"A mere abacus.  Mention it not.\"\n-- Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12614,29,'\n\"But are you not,\" he said, \"a more fiendish disputant than the Great Hyperlobic\nOmni-Cognate Neutron Wrangler of Ciceronicus Twelve, the Magic and \nIndefatigable?\"\n\n\"The Great Hyperlobic Omni-Cognate Neutron Wrangler,\" said Deep Thought,\nthoroughly rolling the r\'s, \"could talk all four legs off an Arcturan\nMega-Donkey -- but only I could persuade it to go for a walk afterward.\"\n-- Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12615,29,'\nIf builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, Jolt Cola\nwould be a Fortune-500 company.\n\nIf builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, you\'d be\nable to buy a nice little colonial split-level at Babbages for $34.95.\n\nIf programmers wrote programs the way builders build buildings, we\'d still\nbe using autocoder and running compile decks.\n\n-- Peter da Silva and Karl Lehenbauer, a different perspective\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12616,29,'\nTo err is human, to moo bovine.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12617,29,'\n\"America is a stronger nation for the ACLU\'s uncompromising effort.\"\n-- President John F. Kennedy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12618,29,'\n\"The simple rights, the civil liberties from generations of struggle must not\nbe just fine words for patriotic holidays, words we subvert on weekdays, but\nliving, honored rules of conduct amongst us...I\'m glad the American Civil\nLiberties Union gets indignant, and I hope this will always be so.\"\n-- Senator Adlai E. Stevenson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12619,29,'\n\"The ACLU has stood foursquare against the recurring tides of hysteria that\n>from time to time threaten freedoms everyhere... Indeed, it is difficult\nto appreciate how far our freedoms might have eroded had it not been for the\nUnion\'s valiant representation in the courts of the constitutional rights\nof people of all persuasions, no matter how unpopular or even despised\nby the majority they were at the time.\"\n-- former Supreme Court Chief Justice Earl Warren\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12620,29,'\n\"The strength of the Constitution lies entirely in the determination of each\ncitizen to defend it.  Only if every single citizen feels duty bound to do\nhis share in this defense are the constitutional rights secure.\"\n-- Albert Einstein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12621,29,'\n\"Well I don\'t see why I have to make one man miserable when I can make so many \nmen happy.\"\n-- Ellyn Mustard, about marriage\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12622,29,'\n\"And it should be the law: If you use the word `paradigm\' without knowing what \nthe dictionary says it means, you go to jail. No exceptions.\"\n-- David Jones @ Megatest Corporation\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12623,29,'\n\"Luke, I\'m yer father, eh.  Come over to the dark side, you hoser.\"\n-- Dave Thomas, \"Strange Brew\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12624,29,'\n\"Let\'s not be too tough on our own ignorance.  It\'s the thing that makes\n America great.  If America weren\'t incomparably ignorant, how could we\n have tolerated the last eight years?\"\n-- Frank Zappa, Feb 1, 1989\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12625,29,'\n\"The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through\nthree distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and\nSophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases.\n\"For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question \'How can\nwe eat?\' the second by the question \'Why do we eat?\' and the third by\nthe question \'Where shall we have lunch?\'\"\n-- Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12626,29,'\n\"Don\'t think; let the machine do it for you!\"\n-- E. C. Berkeley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12627,29,'\n\"It follows that any commander in chief who undertakes to carry out a plan\n which he considers defective is at fault; he must put forth his reasons,\n insist of the plan being changed, and finally tender his resignation rather\nthan be the instrument of his army\'s downfall.\"\n-- Napoleon, \"Military Maxims and Thought\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12628,29,'\n\"(The Chief Programmer) personally defines the functional and performance\n specifications, designs the program, codes it, tests it, and writes its\n documentation... He needs great talent, ten years experience and\n considerable systems and applications knowledge, whether in applied\n mathematics, business data handling, or whatever.\"\n-- Fred P. Brooks, _The Mythical Man Month_\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12629,29,'\n\"It ain\'t over until it\'s over.\"\n-- Casey Stengel\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12630,29,'\n\"If anything can go wrong, it will.\"\n-- Edsel Murphy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12631,29,'\n\"Yo baby yo baby yo.\"\n-- Eddie Murphy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12632,29,'\n\"You must learn to run your kayak by a sort of ju-jitsu.  You must learn to\n tell what the river will do to you, and given those parameters see how you\n can live with it.  You must absorb its force and convert it to your users\n as best you can.  Even with the quickness and agility of a kayak, you are\n not faster than the river, nor stronger, and you can beat it only by\n understanding it.\"\n-- Strung, Curtis and Perry, _Whitewater_\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12633,29,'\nEveryone who comes in here wants three things:\n\t1. They want it quick.\n\t2. They want it good.\n\t3. They want it cheap.\nI tell \'em to pick two and call me back.\n-- sign on the back wall of a small printing company in Delaware\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12634,29,'\n\"More software projects have gone awry for lack of calendar time than for all\n other causes combined.\"\n-- Fred Brooks, Jr., _The Mythical Man Month_\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12635,29,'\npanic: kernel trap (ignored)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12636,29,'\n\"Nuclear war can ruin your whole compile.\"\n-- Karl Lehenbauer\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12637,29,'\n\"Remember, extremism in the nondefense of moderation is not a virtue.\"\n-- Peter Neumann, about usenet\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12638,29,'\n\"We dedicated ourselves to a powerful idea -- organic law rather than naked\n power.  There seems to be universal acceptance of that idea in the nation.\"\n-- Supreme Court Justice Potter Steart\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12639,29,'\n\"What man has done, man can aspire to do.\"\n-- Jerry Pournelle, about space flight\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12640,29,'\n\"Well, it don\'t make the sun shine, but at least it don\'t deepen the shit.\"\n-- Straiter Empy, in _Riddley_Walker_ by Russell Hoban\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12641,29,'\n\"If you can, help others.  If you can\'t, at least don\'t hurt others.\"\n-- the Dalai Lama\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12642,29,'\nTo the systems programmer, users and applications serve only to provide a\ntest load.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12643,29,'\n\"Just think, with VLSI we can have 100 ENIACS on a chip!\"\n-- Alan Perlis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12644,29,'\n\"...Local prohibitions cannot block advances in military and commercial\n technology... Democratic movements for local restraint can only restrain\n the world\'s democracies, not the world as a whole.\"\n-- K. Eric Drexler\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12645,29,'\n\"The rotter who simpers that he sees no difference between a five-dollar bill \nand a whip deserves to learn the difference on his own back -- as, I think, he \nwill.\"\n-- Francisco d\'Anconia, in Ayn Rand\'s _Atlas Shrugged_\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12646,29,'\n\"If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom; and\n the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money it values more, it will\n lose that, too.\"\n-- W. Somerset Maugham\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12647,29,'\n\"Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway so I don\'t know why I bother\n to say it, oh God, I\'m so depressed.  Here\'s another of those self-satisfied\n doors.  Life!  Don\'t talk to me about life.\"\n-- Marvin the Paranoid Android\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12648,29,'\nOne of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with\nZaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just\nto get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn\'t\nbe bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending\nto be so outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn\'t understand\nhat was going on, and really being genuinely stupid.  He was reknowned for \nbeing quite clever and quite clearly was so -- but not all the time, which\nobviously worried him, hence the act.  He preferred people to be puzzled\nrather than contemptuous.  This above all appeared to Trillian to be\ngenuinely stupid, but she could no longer be bothered to argue about.\n-- Douglas Adams, _The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy_\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12649,29,'\nFar back in the mists of ancient time, in the great and glorious days of the\nformer Galactic Empire, life was wild, rich and largely tax free.\n\nMighty starships plied their way between exotic suns, seeking adventure and\nreward among the furthest reaches of Galactic space.  In those days, spirits\nwere brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women\nand small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures\nfrom Alpha Centauri.  And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty\ndeeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before -- and thus\nwas the Empire forged.\n-- Douglas Adams, _The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy_\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12650,29,'\n\"Gort, klaatu nikto barada.\"\n-- The Day the Earth Stood Still\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12651,29,'\n> From MAILER-DAEMON@Think.COM Thu Mar  2 13:59:11 1989\n> Subject: Returned mail: unknown mailer error 255\n\n\"Dale, your address no longer functions.  Can you fix it at your end?\"\n-- Bill Wolfe (wtwolfe@hubcap.clemson.edu)\n\n\"Bill, Your brain no longer functions.  Can you fix it at your end?\"\n-- Karl A. Nyberg (nyberg@ajpo.sei.cmu.edu)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12652,29,'\n\"Don\'t drop acid, take it pass-fail!\"\n-- Bryan Michael Wendt\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12653,29,'\n\"I got a question for ya.  Ya got a minute?\"\n-- two programmers passing in the hall\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12654,29,'\nI took a fish head to the movies and I didn\'t have to pay.\n-- Fish Heads, Saturday Night Live, 1977.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12655,29,'\nWhat hath Bob wrought?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12656,29,'\n\"I don\'t know where we come from,\n Don\'t know where we\'re going to,\n And if all this should have a reason,\n We would be the last to know.\n\n So let\'s just hope there is a promised land,\n And until then,\n ...as best as you can.\"\n-- Steppenwolf, \"Rock Me Baby\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12657,29,'\n\"Help Mr. Wizard!\"\n-- Tennessee Tuxedo\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12658,29,'\n\"The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance.\n He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him.\n But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are\n given to administer we presently imagine we own.\"\n-- H.G. Wells\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12659,29,'\n\"Unlike most net.puritans, however, I feel that what OTHER consenting computers\n do in the privacy of their own phone connections is their own business.\"\n-- John Woods, jfw@eddie.mit.edu\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12660,29,'\n\"Don\'t talk to me about disclaimers!  I invented disclaimers!\"\n-- The Censored Hacker\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12661,29,'\n\'On this point we want to be perfectly clear: socialism has nothing to do\nwith equalizing.  Socialism cannot ensure conditions of life and \nconsumption in accordance with the principle \"From each according to his \nability, to each according to his needs.\"  This will be under communism.\nSocialism has a different criterion for distributing social benefits:\n\"From each according to his ability, to each according to his work.\"\'\n-- Mikhail Gorbachev, _Perestroika_\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12662,29,'\n\"Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor TV reception.\"\n-- The mayor of Tucson, Arizona, 1989\n[apparently, good TV reception is a basic necessity -- at least in Tucson  -kl]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12663,29,'\n\"All the system\'s paths must be topologically and circularly interrelated for \n conceptually definitive, locally transformable, polyhedronal understanding to \n be attained in our spontaneous -- ergo, most economical -- geodesiccally \n structured thoughts.\"\n-- R. Buckminster Fuller [...and a total nonsequitur as far as I can tell.  -kl]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12664,29,'\n\"One thing they don\'t tell you about doing experimental physics is that\n sometimes you must work under adverse conditions... like a state of sheer\n terror.\"\n-- W. K. Hartmann\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12665,29,'\n\"It\'s when they say 2 + 2 = 5 that I begin to argue.\"\n-- Eric Pepke\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12666,29,'\nComparing information and knowledge is like asking whether the fatness of a\npig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule.\"\n-- David Guaspari\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12667,29,'\n\"None of our men are \"experts.\"  We have most unfortunately found it necessary \nto get rid of a man as soon as he thinks himself an expert -- because no one \never considers himself expert if he really knows his job.  A man who knows a \njob sees so much more to be done than he has done, that he is always pressing \nforward and never gives up an instant of thought to how good and how efficient \nhe is.  Thinking always ahead, thinking always of trying to do more, brings a \nstate of mind in which nothing is impossible. The moment one gets into the\n\"expert\" state of mind a great number of things become impossible.\"\n-- From Henry Ford Sr., \"My Life and Work,\" p. 86 (1922):\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12668,29,'\n\"The NY Times is read by the people who run the country.  The Washington Post\nis read by the people who think they run the country.   The National Enquirer\nis read by the people who think Elvis is alive and running the country...\"\n-- Robert J Woodhead (trebor@biar.UUCP)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12669,29,'\n        \"...\'fire\' does not matter, \'earth\' and \'air\' and \'water\' do not\nmatter.  \'I\' do not matter.  No word matters.  But man forgets reality\nand remembers words.  The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his\nfellows esteem him.  He looks upon the great transformations of the\nworld, but he does not see them as they were seen when man looked upon\nreality for the first time.  Their names come to his lips and he smiles\nas he tastes them, thinking he knows them in the naming.\"\n-- Siddartha, _Lord_of_Light_ by Roger Zelazny\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12670,29,'\n\"Irrigation of the land with sewater desalinated by fusion power is ancient.\nIt\'s called \'rain\'.\"\n-- Michael McClary, in alt.fusion\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12671,29,'\n\"The bad reputation UNIX has gotten is totally undeserved, laid on by people\n who don\'t understand, who have not gotten in there and tried anything.\"\n-- Jim Joyce, former computer science lecturer at the University of California\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12672,29,'\n\"We scientists, whose tragic destiny it has been to make the methods of\nannihilation ever more gruesome and more effective, must consider it our solemn\nand transcendent duty to do all in our power in preventing these weapons from\nbeing used for the brutal purpose for which they were invented.\" \n-- Albert Einstein, Bulletin of Atomic Scientists, September 1948\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12673,30,'17th Rule of Friendship:\n\tA friend will refrain from telling you he picked up the same amount of\n\tlife insurance coverage you did for half the price when yours is\n\tnoncancellable.\n\t\t-- Esquire, May 1977\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12674,30,'\n186,282 miles per second:\n\tIt isn\'t just a good idea, it\'s the law!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12675,30,'\n18th Rule of Friendship:\n        A friend will let you hold the ladder while he goes up on the roof\n        to install your new aerial, which is the biggest son-of-a-bitch you\n        ever saw.\n                -- Esquire, May 1977\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12676,30,'\n2180, U.S. History question:\n\tWhat 20th Century U.S. President was almost impeached and what\n\toffice did he later hold?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12677,30,'\n3rd Law of Computing:\n\tAnything that can go wr\nfortune: Segmentation violation -- Core dumped\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12678,30,'\n667:\n\tThe neighbor of the beast.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12679,30,'\nA hypothetical paradox:\n\tWhat would happen in a battle between an Enterprise security team,\n\twho always get killed soon after appearing, and a squad of Imperial\n\tStormtroopers, who can\'t hit the broad side of a planet?\n\t\t-- Tom Galloway\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12680,30,'\nA Law of Computer Programming:\n\tMake it possible for programmers to write in English\n\tand you will find that programmers cannot write in English.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12681,30,'\nA musician, an artist, an architect:\n\tthe man or woman who is not one of these is not a Christian.\n\t\t-- William Blake\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12682,30,'\nA new koan:\n\tIf you have some ice cream, I will give it to you.\n\tIf you have no ice cream, I will take it away from you.\nIt is an ice cream koan.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12683,30,'\nAbbott\'s Admonitions:\n\t(1) If you have to ask, you\'re not entitled to know.\n\t(2) If you don\'t like the answer, you shouldn\'t have asked the question.\n\t\t-- Charles Abbot, dean, University of Virginia\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12684,30,'\nAbsent, adj.:\n\tExposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed; slandered.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12685,30,'\nAbsentee, n.:\n\tA person with an income who has had the forethought to remove\n\thimself from the sphere of exaction.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12686,30,'\nAbstainer, n.:\n\tA weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a\n\tpleasure.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12687,30,'\nAbsurdity, n.:\n\tA statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one\'s own opinion.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12688,30,'\nAcademy:\n\tA modern school where football is taught.\nInstitute:\n\tAn archaic school where football is not taught.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12689,30,'\nAcceptance testing:\n\tAn unsuccessful attempt to find bugs.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12690,30,'\nAccident, n.:\n\tA condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of\n\tbody is better.\n\t\t-- Foolish Dictionary\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12691,30,'\nAccordion, n.:\n\tA bagpipe with pleats.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12692,30,'\nAccuracy, n.:\n\tThe vice of being right\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12693,30,'\nAcquaintance, n:\n\tA person whom we know well enough to borrow from but not well\n\tenough to lend to.  A degree of friendship called slight when the\n\tobject is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12694,30,'\nADA:\n\tSomething you need only know the name of to be an Expert in\n\tComputing.  Useful in sentences like, \"We had better develop\n\tan ADA awareness.\n\t\t-- \"Datamation\", January 15, 1984\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12695,30,'\nAdler\'s Distinction:\n\tLanguage is all that separates us from the lower animals,\n\tand from the bureaucrats.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12696,30,'\nAdmiration, n.:\n\tOur polite recognition of another\'s resemblance to ourselves.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12697,30,'\nAdore, v.:\n\tTo venerate expectantly.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12698,30,'\nAdult, n.:\n\tOne old enough to know better.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12699,30,'\nAdvertising Rule:\n\tIn writing a patent-medicine advertisement, first convince the\n\treader that he has the disease he is reading about; secondly, \n\tthat it is curable.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12700,30,'\nAfternoon, n.:\n\tThat part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12701,30,'\nAge, n.:\n\tThat period of life in which we compound for the vices that we\n\tstill cherish by reviling those that we no longer have the enterprise\n\tto commit.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12702,30,'\nAgnes\' Law:\n\tAlmost everything in life is easier to get into than out of.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12703,30,'\nAir Force Inertia Axiom:\n\tConsistency is always easier to defend than correctness.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12704,30,'\nair, n.:\n\tA nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the\n\tfattening of the poor.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12705,30,'\nAlaska:\n\tA prelude to \"No.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12706,30,'\nAlbrecht\'s Law:\n\tSocial innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well-being.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12707,30,'\nAlden\'s Laws:\n\t(1)  Giving away baby clothes and furniture is the major cause\n\t     of pregnancy.\n\t(2)  Always be backlit.\n\t(3)  Sit down whenever possible.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12708,30,'\nalgorithm, n.:\n\tTrendy dance for hip programmers.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12709,30,'\nalimony, n:\n\tHaving an ex you can bank on.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12710,30,'\nAll new:\n\tParts not interchangeable with previous model.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12711,30,'\nAllen\'s Axiom:\n\tWhen all else fails, read the instructions.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12712,30,'\nAlliance, n.:\n\tIn international politics, the union of two thieves who have\n\ttheir hands so deeply inserted in each other\'s pocket that they cannot\n\tseparately plunder a third.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12713,30,'\nAlone, adj.:\n\tIn bad company.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12714,30,'\nAmbidextrous, adj.:\n\tAble to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12715,30,'\nAmbiguity:\n\tTelling the truth when you don\'t mean to.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12716,30,'\nAmbition, n:\n\tAn overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while\n\tliving and made ridiculous by friends when dead.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12717,30,'\nAmoebit:\n\tAmoeba/rabbit cross; it can multiply and divide at the same time.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12718,30,'\nAndrea\'s Admonition:\n\tNever bestow profanity upon a driver who has wronged you.\n\tIf you think his window is closed and he can\'t hear you,\n\tit isn\'t and he can.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12719,30,'\nAndrophobia:\n\tFear of men.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12720,30,'\nAnoint, v.:\n\tTo grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently\n\tslippery.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12721,30,'\nAnthony\'s Law of Force:\n\tDon\'t force it; get a larger hammer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12722,30,'\nAnthony\'s Law of the Workshop:\n\tAny tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible\n\tcorner of the workshop.\n\nCorollary:\n\tOn the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike\n\tyour toes.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12723,30,'\nAntonym, n.:\n\tThe opposite of the word you\'re trying to think of.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12724,30,'\nAphasia:\n\tLoss of speech in social scientists when asked\n\tat parties, \"But of what use is your research?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12725,30,'\naphorism, n.:\n\tA concise, clever statement.\nafterism, n.:\n\tA concise, clever statement you don\'t think of until too late.\n\t\t-- James Alexander Thom\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12726,30,'\nAppendix:\n\tA portion of a book, for which nobody yet has discovered any use.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12727,30,'\nApplause, n:\n\tThe echo of a platitude from the mouth of a fool.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12728,30,'\naquadextrous, adj.:\n\tPossessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off\n\twith your toes.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12729,30,'\nArbitrary systems, pl.n.:\n\tSystems about which nothing general can be said, save \"nothing\n\tgeneral can be said.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12730,30,'\nArithmetic:\n\tAn obscure art no longer practiced in the world\'s developed countries.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12731,30,'\nArmadillo:\n\tTo provide weapons to a Spanish pickle.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12732,30,'\nArmor\'s Axiom:\n\tVirtue is the failure to achieve vice.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12733,30,'\nArmstrong\'s Collection Law:\n\tIf the check is truly in the mail,\n\tit is surely made out to someone else.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12734,30,'\nArnold\'s Addendum:\n\tAnything not fitting into these categories causes cancer in rats.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12735,30,'\nArnold\'s Laws of Documentation:\n\t(1) If it should exist, it doesn\'t.\n\t(2) If it does exist, it\'s out of date.\n\t(3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the\n\t    first two laws.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12736,30,'\nArthur\'s Laws of Love:\n\t(1) People to whom you are attracted invariably think you\n\t    remind them of someone else.\n\t(2) The love letter you finally got the courage to send will be\n\t    delayed in the mail long enough for you to make a fool of\n\t    yourself in person.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12737,30,'\nASCII:\n\tThe control code for all beginning programmers and those who would\n\tbecome computer literate.  Etymologically, the term has come down as\n\ta contraction of the often-repeated phrase \"ascii and you shall\n\treceive.\"\n\t\t-- Robb Russon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12738,30,'\nAtlanta:\n\tAn entire city surrounded by an airport.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12739,30,'\nAuction:\n\tA gyp off the old block.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12740,30,'\naudophile, n:\n\tSomeone who listens to the equipment instead of the music.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12741,30,'\nAuthentic:\n\tIndubitably true, in somebody\'s opinion.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12742,30,'\nAutomobile, n.:\n\tA four-wheeled vehicle that runs up hills and down pedestrians.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12743,30,'\nBachelor:\n\tA guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12744,30,'\nBachelor:\n\tA man who chases women and never Mrs. one.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12745,30,'\nBackward conditioning:\n\tPutting saliva in a dog\'s mouth in an attempt to make a bell ring.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12746,30,'\nBagbiter:\n\t1. n.; Equipment or program that fails, usually intermittently.  2.\nadj.: Failing hardware or software.  \"This bagbiting system won\'t let me get\nout of spacewar.\" Usage: verges on obscenity.  Grammatically separable; one\nmay speak of \"biting the bag\".  Synonyms: LOSER, LOSING, CRETINOUS,\nBLETCHEROUS, BARFUCIOUS, CHOMPER, CHOMPING.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12747,30,'\nBagdikian\'s Observation:\n\tTrying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper\n\tis like trying to play Bach\'s \"St. Matthew Passion\" on a ukelele.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12748,30,'\nBaker\'s First Law of Federal Geometry:\n\tA block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides by\n\tgovernors.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12749,30,'\nBallistophobia:\n\tFear of bullets;\nOtophobia:\n\tFear of opening one\'s eyes.\nPeccatophobia:\n\tFear of sinning.\nTaphephobia:\n\tFear of being buried alive.\nSitophobia:\n\tFear of food.\nTrichophobbia:\n\tFear of hair.\nVestiphobia:\n\tFear of clothing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12750,30,'\nBanacek\'s Eighteenth Polish Proverb:\n\tThe hippo has no sting, but the wise man would rather be sat upon\n\tby the bee.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12751,30,'\nBanectomy, n.:\n\tThe removal of bruises on a banana.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12752,30,'\nBarach\'s Rule:\n\tAn alcoholic is a person who drinks more than his own physician.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12753,30,'\nBarbara\'s Rules of Bitter Experience:\n\t(1) When you empty a drawer for his clothes\n\t    and a shelf for his toiletries, the relationship ends.\n\t(2) When you finally buy pretty stationary\n\t    to continue the correspondence, he stops writing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12754,30,'\nBarker\'s Proof:\n\tProofreading is more effective after publication.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12755,30,'\nBarometer, n.:\n\tAn ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we\n\tare having.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12756,30,'\nBarth\'s Distinction:\n\tThere are two types of people: those who divide people into two\n\ttypes, and those who don\'t.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12757,30,'\nBaruch\'s Observation:\n\tIf all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12758,30,'\nBasic Definitions of Science:\n\tIf it\'s green or wiggles, it\'s biology.\n\tIf it stinks, it\'s chemistry.\n\tIf it doesn\'t work, it\'s physics.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12759,30,'\nBASIC, n.:\n\tA programming language.  Related to certain social diseases in\n\tthat those who have it will not admit it in polite company.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12760,30,'\nBathquake, n.:\n\tThe violent quake that rattles the entire house when the water\n\tfaucet is turned on to a certain point.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12761,30,'\nBattle, n.:\n\tA method of untying with the teeth a political knot that\n\twill not yield to the tongue.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12762,30,'\nBeauty, n.:\n\tThe power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12763,30,'\nBeauty:\n\tWhat\'s in your eye when you have a bee in your hand.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12764,30,'\nBegathon, n.:\n\tA multi-day event on public television, used to raise money so\n\tyou won\'t have to watch commercials.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12765,30,'\nBeifeld\'s Principle:\n\tThe probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive\n\tyoung female increases by pyramidical progression when he\n\tis already in the company of (1) a date, (2) his wife, (3) a\n\tbetter-looking and richer male friend.\n\t\t-- R. Beifeld\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12766,30,'\nbelief, n:\n\tSomething you do not believe.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12767,30,'\nBennett\'s Laws of Horticulture:\n\t(1) Houses are for people to live in.\n\t(2) Gardens are for plants to live in.\n\t(3) There is no such thing as a houseplant.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12768,30,'\nBenson\'s Dogma:\n\tASCII is our god, and Unix is his profit.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12769,30,'\nBershere\'s Formula for Failure:\n\tThere are only two kinds of people who fail: those who\n\tlisten to nobody... and those who listen to everybody.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12770,30,'\nbeta test, v:\n\tTo voluntarily entrust one\'s data, one\'s livelihood and one\'s\n\tsanity to hardware or software intended to destroy all three.\n\tIn earlier days, virgins were often selected to beta test volcanos.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12771,30,'\nBierman\'s Laws of Contracts:\n\t(1) In any given document, you can\'t cover all the \"what if\'s\".\n\t(2) Lawyers stay in business resolving all the unresolved \"what if\'s\".\n\t(3) Every resolved \"what if\" creates two unresolved \"what if\'s\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12772,30,'\nBilbo\'s First Law:\n\tYou cannot count friends that are all packed up in barrels.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12773,30,'\nBinary, adj.:\n\tPossessing the ability to have friends of both sexes.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12774,30,'\nBing\'s Rule:\n\tDon\'t try to stem the tide -- move the beach.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12775,30,'\nBipolar, adj.:\n\tRefers to someone who has homes in Nome, Alaska, and Buffalo, New York.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12776,30,'\nbirth, n:\n\tThe first and direst of all disasters.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12777,30,'\nbit, n:\n\tA unit of measure applied to color.  Twenty-four-bit color\n\trefers to expensive $3 color as opposed to the cheaper 25\n\tcent, or two-bit, color that use to be available a few years ago.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12778,30,'\nBizoos, n.:\n\tThe millions of tiny individual bumps that make up a basketball.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12779,30,'\nblithwapping:\n\tUsing anything BUT a hammer to hammer a nail into the\n\twall, such as shoes, lamp bases, doorstops, etc.\n\t\t-- \"Sniglets\", Rich Hall & Friends\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12780,30,'\nBloom\'s Seventh Law of Litigation:\n\tThe judge\'s jokes are always funny.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12781,30,'\nBlore\'s Razor:\n\tGiven a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12782,30,'\nBlutarsky\'s Axiom:\n\tNothing is impossible for the man who will not listen to reason.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12783,30,'\nBoling\'s postulate:\n\tIf you\'re feeling good, don\'t worry.  You\'ll get over it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12784,30,'\nBolub\'s Fourth Law of Computerdom:\n\tProject teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so\n\tvividly manifests their lack of progress.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12785,30,'\nBombeck\'s Rule of Medicine:\n\tNever go to a doctor whose office plants have died.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12786,30,'\nBoob\'s Law:\n\tYou always find something in the last place you look.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12787,30,'\nBooker\'s Law:\n\tAn ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12788,30,'\nBore, n.:\n\tA guy who wraps up a two-minute idea in a two-hour vocabulary.\n\t\t-- Walter Winchell\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12789,30,'\nBore, n.:\n\tA person who talks when you wish him to listen.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12790,30,'\nBoren\'s Laws:\n\t(1) When in charge, ponder.\n\t(2) When in trouble, delegate.\n\t(3) When in doubt, mumble.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12791,30,'\nboss, n:\n\tAccording to the Oxford English Dictionary, in the Middle Ages the\n\twords \"boss\" and \"botch\" were largely synonymous, except that boss,\n\tin addition to meaning \"a supervisor of workers\" also meant \"an\n\tornamental stud.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12792,30,'\nBoucher\'s Observation:\n\tHe who blows his own horn always plays the music\n\tseveral octaves higher than originally written.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12793,30,'\nBower\'s Law:\n\tTalent goes where the action is.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12794,30,'\nBowie\'s Theorem:\n\tIf an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12795,30,'\nboy, n:\n\tA noise with dirt on it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12796,30,'\nBradley\'s Bromide:\n\tIf computers get too powerful, we can organize\n\tthem into a committee -- that will do them in.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12797,30,'\nBrady\'s First Law of Problem Solving:\n\tWhen confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more\n\teasily by reducing it to the question, \"How would the Lone Ranger\n\thave handled this?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12798,30,'\nbrain, n:\n\tThe apparatus with which we think that we think.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12799,30,'\nbrain, v: [as in \"to brain\"]\n\tTo rebuke bluntly, but not pointedly; to dispel a source\n\tof error in an opponent.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12800,30,'\nbrain-damaged, generalization of \"Honeywell Brain Damage\" (HBD), a\ntheoretical disease invented to explain certain utter cretinisms in\nMultics, adj:\n\tObviously wrong; cretinous; demented.  There is an implication\n\tthat the person responsible must have suffered brain damage,\n\tbecause he/she should have known better.  Calling something\n\tbrain-damaged is bad; it also implies it is unusable.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12801,30,'\nBride, n.:\n\tA woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12802,30,'\nbriefcase, n:\n\tA trial where the jury gets together and forms a lynching party.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12803,30,'\nbroad-mindedness, n:\n\tThe result of flattening high-mindedness out.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12804,30,'\nBrogan\'s Constant:\n\tPeople tend to congregate in the back of the church and the\n\tfront of the bus.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12805,30,'\nbrokee, n:\n\tSomeone who buys stocks on the advice of a broker.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12806,30,'\nBrontosaurus Principle:\n\tOrganizations can grow faster than their brains can manage them\n\tin relation to their environment and to their own physiology:  when\n\tthis occurs, they are an endangered species.\n\t\t-- Thomas K. Connellan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12807,30,'\nBrook\'s Law:\n\tAdding manpower to a late software project makes it later.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12808,30,'\nBrooke\'s Law:\n\tWhenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool\n\tdiscovers something which either abolishes the system or\n\texpands it beyond recognition.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12809,30,'\nBubble Memory, n.:\n\tA derogatory term, usually referring to a person\'s intelligence.\n\tSee also \"vacuum tube\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12810,30,'\nBucy\'s Law:\n\tNothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12811,30,'\nBug, n.:\n\tAn aspect of a computer program which exists because the\n\tprogrammer was thinking about Jumbo Jacks or stock options when s/he\n\twrote the program.\n\nFortunately, the second-to-last bug has just been fixed.\n\t\t-- Ray Simard\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12812,30,'\nbug, n:\n\tA son of a glitch.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12813,30,'\nbug, n:\n\tAn elusive creature living in a program that makes it incorrect.\n\tThe activity of \"debugging\", or removing bugs from a program, ends\n\twhen people get tired of doing it, not when the bugs are removed.\n\t\t-- \"Datamation\", January 15, 1984\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12814,30,'\nBugs, pl. n.:\n\tSmall living things that small living boys throw on small living girls.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12815,30,'\nBumper sticker:\n\tAll the parts falling off this car are of the very finest\n\tBritish manufacture.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12816,30,'\nBunker\'s Admonition:\n\tYou cannot buy beer; you can only rent it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12817,30,'\nBurbulation:\n\tThe obsessive act of opening and closing a refrigerator door in\n\tan attempt to catch it before the automatic light comes on.\n\t\t-- \"Sniglets\", Rich Hall & Friends\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12818,30,'\nBureau Termination, Law of:\n\tWhen a government bureau is scheduled to be phased out,\n\tthe number of employees in that bureau will double within\n\t12 months after the decision is made.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12819,30,'\nbureaucracy, n:\n\tA method for transforming energy into solid waste.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12820,30,'\nBureaucrat, n.:\n\tA person who cuts red tape sideways.\n\t\t-- J. McCabe\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12821,30,'\nbureaucrat, n:\n\tA politician who has tenure.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12822,30,'\nBurke\'s Postulates:\n\tAnything is possible if you don\'t know what you are talking about.\n\tDon\'t create a problem for which you do not have the answer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12823,30,'\nBurn\'s Hog Weighing Method:\n\t(1) Get a perfectly symmetrical plank and balance it across a sawhorse.\n\t(2) Put the hog on one end of the plank.\n\t(3) Pile rocks on the other end until the plank is again perfectly\n\t    balanced.\n\t(4) Carefully guess the weight of the rocks.\n\t\t-- Robert Burns\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12824,30,'\nbuzzword, n:\n\tThe fly in the ointment of computer literacy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12825,30,'\nbyob, v:\n\tBelieving Your Own Bull\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12826,30,'\nC, n:\n\tA programming language that is sort of like Pascal except more like\n\tassembly except that it isn\'t very much like either one, or anything\n\telse.  It is either the best language available to the art today, or\n\tit isn\'t.\n\t\t-- Ray Simard\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12827,30,'\nCabbage, n.:\n\tA familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as\n\ta man\'s head.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12828,30,'\nCache:\n\tA very expensive part of the memory system of a computer that no one\n\tis supposed to know is there.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12829,30,'\nCahn\'s Axiom:\n\tWhen all else fails, read the instructions.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12830,30,'\nCampbell\'s Law:\n\tNature abhors a vacuous experimenter.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12831,30,'\nCanada Bill Jones\'s Motto:\n\tIt\'s morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.\n\nCanada Bill Jones\'s Supplement:\n\tA Smith and Wesson beats four aces.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12832,30,'\nCanonical, adj.:\n\tThe usual or standard state or manner of something.  A true story:\nOne Bob Sjoberg, new at the MIT AI Lab, expressed some annoyance at the use\nof jargon.  Over his loud objections, we made a point of using jargon as\nmuch as possible in his presence, and eventually it began to sink in.\nFinally, in one conversation, he used the word \"canonical\" in jargon-like\nfashion without thinking.\n\tSteele: \"Aha!  We\'ve finally got you talking jargon too!\"\n\tStallman: \"What did he say?\"\n\tSteele: \"He just used `canonical\' in the canonical way.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12833,30,'\nCaptain Penny\'s Law:\n\tYou can fool all of the people some of the time, and\n\tsome of the people all of the time, but you Can\'t Fool Mom.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12834,30,'\nCarperpetuation (kar\' pur pet u a shun), n.:\n\tThe act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a\n\tdozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then\n\tputting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12835,30,'\nCarson\'s Consolation:\n\tNothing is ever a complete failure.\n\tIt can always be used as a bad example.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12836,30,'\nCarson\'s Observation on Footwear:\n\tIf the shoe fits, buy the other one too.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12837,30,'\nCarswell\'s Corollary:\n\tWhenever man comes up with a better mousetrap,\n\tnature invariably comes up with a better mouse.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12838,30,'\nCat, n.:\n\tLapwarmer with built-in buzzer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12839,30,'\ncerebral atrophy, n:\n\tThe phenomena which occurs as brain cells become weak and sick, and\nimpair the brain\'s performance.  An abundance of these \"bad\" cells can cause\nsymptoms related to senility, apathy, depression, and overall poor academic\nperformance.  A certain small number of brain cells will deteriorate due to\neverday activity, but large amounts are weakened by intense mental effort\nand the assimilation of difficult concepts.  Many college students become\nvictims of this dread disorder due to poor habits such as overstudying.\n\ncerebral darwinism, n:\n\tThe theory that the effects of cerebral atrophy can be reversed\nthrough the purging action of heavy alcohol consumption.  Large amounts of\nalcohol cause many brain cells to perish due to oxygen deprivation.  Through\nthe process of natural selection, the weak and sick brain cells will die\nfirst, leaving only the healthy cells.  This wonderful process leaves the\nimbiber with a healthier, more vibrant brain, and increases mental capacity.\nThus, the devastating effects of cerebral atrophy are reversed, and academic\nperformance actually increases beyond previous levels.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12840,30,'\nChamberlain\'s Laws:\n\t(1) The big guys always win.\n\t(2) Everything tastes more or less like chicken.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12841,30,'\ncharacter density, n.:\n\tThe number of very weird people in the office.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12842,30,'\nCharity, n.:\n\tA thing that begins at home and usually stays there.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12843,30,'\ncheckuary, n:\n\tThe thirteenth month of the year.  Begins New Year\'s Day and ends\n\twhen a person stops absentmindedly writing the old year on his checks.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12844,30,'\nChef, n.:\n\tAny cook who swears in French.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12845,30,'\nCheit\'s Lament:\n\tIf you help a friend in need, he is sure to remember you--\n\tthe next time he\'s in need.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12846,30,'\nChemicals, n.:\n\tNoxious substances from which modern foods are made.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12847,30,'\nCheops\' Law:\n\tNothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12848,30,'\nChicago Transit Authority Rider\'s Rule #36:\n\tNever ever ask the tough looking gentleman wearing El Rukn headgear\n\twhere he got his \"pyramid powered pizza warmer\".\n\t\t-- Chicago Reader 3/27/81\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12849,30,'\nChicago Transit Authority Rider\'s Rule #84:\n\tThe CTA has complimentary pop-up timers available on request\n\tfor overheated passengers.  When your timer pops up, the driver will\n\tcheerfully baste you.\n\t\t-- Chicago Reader 5/28/82\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12850,30,'\nChicken Soup:\n\tAn ancient miracle drug containing equal parts of aureomycin,\n\tcocaine, interferon, and TLC.  The only ailment chicken soup\n\tcan\'t cure is neurotic dependence on one\'s mother.\n\t\t-- Arthur Naiman, \"Every Goy\'s Guide to Yiddish\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12851,30,'\nChism\'s Law of Completion:\n\tThe amount of time required to complete a government project is\n\tprecisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12852,30,'\nChisolm\'s First Corollary to Murphy\'s Second Law:\n\tWhen things just can\'t possibly get any worse, they will.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12853,30,'\nChristmas:\n\tA day set apart by some as a time for turkey, presents, cranberry \n\tsalads, family get-togethers; for others, noted as having the best\n\tresponse time of the entire year.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12854,30,'\nChurchill\'s Commentary on Man:\n\tMan will occasionally stumble over the truth,\n\tbut most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12855,30,'\nCinemuck, n.:\n\tThe combination of popcorn, soda, and melted chocolate which\n\tcovers the floors of movie theaters.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12856,30,'\nclairvoyant, n.:\n\tA person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that\n\twhich is invisible to her patron -- namely, that he is a blockhead.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12857,30,'\nClarke\'s Conclusion:\n\tNever let your sense of morals interfere with doing the right thing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12858,30,'\nClay\'s Conclusion:\n\tCreativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12859,30,'\nclone, n:\n\t1. An exact duplicate, as in \"our product is a clone of their\n\tproduct.\"  2. A shoddy, spurious copy, as in \"their product\n\tis a clone of our product.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12860,30,'\nClovis\' Consideration of an Atmospheric Anomaly:\n\tThe perversity of nature is nowhere better demonstrated\n\tthan by the fact that, when exposed to the same atmosphere,\n\tbread becomes hard while crackers become soft.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12861,30,'\nCOBOL:\n\tAn exercise in Artificial Inelegance.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12862,30,'\nCOBOL:\n\tCompletely Over and Beyond reason Or Logic.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12863,30,'\nCohen\'s Law:\n\tThere is no bottom to worse.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12864,30,'\nCohn\'s Law:\n\tThe more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less\n\ttime you have to do anything.  Stability is achieved when you spend\n\tall your time reporting on the nothing you are doing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12865,30,'\nCold, adj.:\n\tWhen the politicians walk around with their hands in their own pockets.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12866,30,'\nCole\'s Law:\n\tThinly sliced cabbage.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12867,30,'\nCollaboration, n.:\n\tA literary partnership based on the false assumption that the\n\tother fellow can spell.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12868,30,'\nCollege:\n\tThe fountains of knowledge, where everyone goes to drink.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12869,30,'\nColvard\'s Logical Premises:\n\tAll probabilities are 50');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12870,30,'.\n\tEither a thing will happen or it won\'t.\n\nColvard\'s Unconscionable Commentary:\n\tThis is especially true when dealing with someone you\'re attracted to.\n\nGrelb\'s Commentary:\n\tLikelihoods, however, are 90');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12871,30,' against you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12872,30,'\nCommand, n.:\n\tStatement presented by a human and accepted by a computer in\n\tsuch a manner as to make the human feel as if he is in control.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12873,30,'\ncomment:\n\tA superfluous element of a source program included so the\n\tprogrammer can remember what the hell it was he was doing\n\tsix months later.  Only the weak-minded need them, according\n\tto those who think they aren\'t.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12874,30,'\nCommitment, n.:\n\t[The difference between involvement and] Commitment can be\n\tillustrated by a breakfast of ham and eggs.  The chicken was\n\tinvolved, the pig was committed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12875,30,'\nCommittee Rules:\n\t(1) Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.\n\t(2) Don\'t say anything until the meeting is half over; this\n\t    stamps you as being wise.\n\t(3) Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the\n\t    others.\n\t(4) When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.\n\t(5) Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you\n\t    popular -- it\'s what everyone is waiting for.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12876,30,'\nCommittee, n.:\n\tA group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group\n\tdecide that nothing can be done.\n\t\t-- Fred Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12877,30,'\nCommoner\'s three laws of ecology:\n\t(1) No action is without side-effects.\n\t(2) Nothing ever goes away.\n\t(3) There is no free lunch.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12878,30,'\nComplex system:\n\tOne with real problems and imaginary profits.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12879,30,'\nCompliment, n.:\n\tWhen you say something to another which everyone knows isn\'t true.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12880,30,'\ncompuberty, n:\n\tThe uncomfortable period of emotional and hormonal changes a\n\tcomputer experiences when the operating system is upgraded and\n\ta sun4 is put online sharing files.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12881,30,'\nComputer science:\n\t(1) A study akin to numerology and astrology, but lacking the\n\t   precision of the former and the success of the latter.\n\t(2) The protracted value analysis of algorithms.\n\t(3) The costly enumeration of the obvious.\n\t(4) The boring art of coping with a large number of trivialities.\n\t(5) Tautology harnessed in the service of Man at the speed of light.\n\t(6) The Post-Turing decline in formal systems theory.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12882,30,'\nComputer, n.:\n\tAn electronic entity which performs sequences of useful steps in a\n\ttotally understandable, rigorously logical manner.  If you believe\n\tthis, see me about a bridge I have for sale in Manhattan.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12883,30,'\nConcept, n.:\n\tAny \"idea\" for which an outside consultant billed you more than\n\t$25,000.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12884,30,'\nConference, n.:\n\tA special meeting in which the boss gathers subordinates to hear\n\twhat they have to say, so long as it doesn\'t conflict with what\n\the\'s already decided to do.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12885,30,'\nConfidant, confidante, n:\n\tOne entrusted by A with the secrets of B, confided to himself by C.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12886,30,'\nConfirmed bachelor:\n\tA man who goes through life without a hitch.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12887,30,'\nConjecture: All odd numbers are prime.\n\tMathematician\'s Proof:\n\t\t3 is prime.  5 is prime.  7 is prime.  By induction, all\n\t\todd numbers are prime.\n\tPhysicist\'s Proof:\n\t\t3 is prime.  5 is prime.  7 is prime.  9 is experimental\n\t\terror.  11 is prime.  13 is prime ...\n\tEngineer\'s Proof:\n\t\t3 is prime.  5 is prime.  7 is prime.  9 is prime.\n\t\t11 is prime.  13 is prime ...\n\tComputer Scientists\'s Proof:\n\t\t3 is prime.  3 is prime.  3 is prime.  3 is prime...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12888,30,'\nConnector Conspiracy, n:\n\t[probably came into prominence with the appearance of the KL-10,\n\tnone of whose connectors match anything else] The tendency of\n\tmanufacturers (or, by extension, programmers or purveyors of anything)\n\tto come up with new products which don\'t fit together with the old\n\tstuff, thereby making you buy either all new stuff or expensive\n\tinterface devices.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12889,30,'\nConsent decree:\n\tA document in which a hapless company consents never to commit\n\tin the future whatever heinous violations of Federal law it\n\tnever admitted to in the first place.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12890,30,'\nConsultant, n.:\n\t(1) Someone you pay to take the watch off your wrist and tell\n\tyou what time it is. (2) (For resume use) The working title\n\tof anyone who doesn\'t currently hold a job. Motto: Have\n\tCalculator, Will Travel.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12891,30,'\nConsultant, n.:\n\t[From con \"to defraud, dupe, swindle,\" or, possibly, French con\n\t(vulgar) \"a person of little merit\" + sult elliptical form of\n\t\"insult.\"]  A tipster disguised as an oracle, especially one who\n\thas learned to decamp at high speed in spite of a large briefcase\n\tand heavy wallet.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12892,30,'\nConsultant, n.:\n\tAn ordinary man a long way from home.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12893,30,'\nconsultant, n.:\n\tSomeone who knowns 101 ways to make love, but can\'t get a date.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12894,30,'\nConsultant, n.:\n\tSomeone who\'d rather climb a tree and tell a lie than stand on\n\tthe ground and tell the truth.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12895,30,'\nConsultation, n.:\n\tMedical term meaning \"to share the wealth.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12896,30,'\nConversation, n.:\n\tA vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath\n\tis called the listener.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12897,30,'\nConway\'s Law:\n\tIn any organization there will always be one person who knows\n\twhat is going on.\n\n\tThis person must be fired.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12898,30,'\nCopying machine, n.:\n\tA device that shreds paper, flashes mysteriously coded messages,\n\tand makes duplicates for everyone in the office who isn\'t\n\tinterested in reading them.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12899,30,'\nCoronation, n.:\n\tThe ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and visible\n\tsigns of his divine right to be blown skyhigh with a dynamite bomb.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12900,30,'\nCorrespondence Corollary:\n\tAn experiment may be considered a success if no more than half\n\tyour data must be discarded to obtain correspondence with your theory.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12901,30,'\nCorry\'s Law:\n\tPaper is always strongest at the perforations.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12902,30,'\ncourt, n.:\n\tA place where they dispense with justice.\n\t\t-- Arthur Train\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12903,30,'\nCoward, n.:\n\tOne who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12904,30,'\nCreditor, n.:\n\tA man who has a better memory than a debtor.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12905,30,'\nCrenna\'s Law of Political Accountability:\n\tIf you are the first to know about something bad, you are going to be\n\theld responsible for acting on it, regardless of your formal duties.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12906,30,'\ncritic, n.:\n\tA person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries\n\tto please him.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12907,30,'\nCroll\'s Query:\n\tIf tin whistles are made of tin, what are foghorns made of?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12908,30,'\nCropp\'s Law:\n\tThe amount of work done varies inversly with the time spent in the\n\toffice.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12909,30,'\nCruickshank\'s Law of Committees:\n\tIf a committee is allowed to discuss a bad idea long enough, it\n\twill inevitably decide to implement the idea simply because so\n\tmuch work has already been done on it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12910,30,'\ncursor address, n:\n\t\"Hello, cursor!\"\n\t\t-- Stan Kelly-Bootle, \"The Devil\'s DP Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12911,30,'\nCursor, n.:\n\tOne whose program will not run.\n\t\t-- Robb Russon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12912,30,'\ncurtation, n.:\n\tThe enforced compression of a string in the fixed-length field\nenvironment.\n\tThe problem of fitting extremely variable-length strings such as names,\naddresses, and item descriptions into fixed-length records is no trivial\nmatter.  Neglect of the subtle art of curtation has probably alienated more\npeople than any other aspect of data processing.  You order Mozart\'s \"Don\nGiovanni\" from your record club, and they invoice you $24.95 for MOZ DONG.\nThe witless mapping of the sublime onto the ridiculous!  Equally puzzling is\nthe curtation that produces the same eight characters, THE BEST, whether you\norder \"The Best of Wagner\", \"The Best of Schubert\", or \"The Best of the Turds\".\nSimilarly, wine lovers buying from computerized wineries twirl their glasses,\ncheck their delivery notes, and inform their friends, \"A rather innocent,\npossibly overtruncated CAB SAUV 69 TAL.\"  The squeezing of fruit into 10\ncolumns has yielded such memorable obscenities as COX OR PIP.  The examples\ncited are real, and the curtational methodology which produced them is still\nwith us.\n\nMOZ DONG n.\n\tCurtation of Don Giovanni by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and Lorenzo da\nPonte, as performed by the computerized billing ensemble of the Internat\'l\nPreview Society, Great Neck (sic), N.Y.\n\t\t-- Stan Kelly-Bootle, \"The Devil\'s DP Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12913,30,'\nCutler Webster\'s Law:\n\tThere are two sides to every argument, unless a person\n\tis personally involved, in which case there is only one.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12914,30,'\nCynic, n.:\n\tA blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not\n\tas they ought to be.  Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking\n\tout a cynic\'s eyes to improve his vision.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12915,30,'\nCynic, n.:\n\tExperienced.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12916,30,'\nCynic, n.:\n\tOne who looks through rose-colored glasses with a jaundiced eye.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12917,30,'\nData, n.:\n\tAn accrual of straws on the backs of theories.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12918,30,'\nData, n.:\n\tComputerspeak for \"information\".  Properly pronounced\n\tthe way Bostonians pronounce the word for a female child.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12919,30,'\nDavis\' Law of Traffic Density:\n\tThe density of rush-hour traffic is directly proportional to\n\t1.5 times the amount of extra time you allow to arrive on time.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12920,30,'\nDavis\'s Dictum:\n\tProblems that go away by themselves, come back by themselves.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12921,30,'\nDawn, n.:\n\tThe time when men of reason go to bed.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12922,30,'\nDeadwood, n.:\n\tAnyone in your company who is more senior than you are.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12923,30,'\nDeath wish, n.:\n\tThe only wish that always comes true, whether or not one wishes it to.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12924,30,'\nDecision maker, n.:\n\tThe person in your office who was unable to form a task force\n\tbefore the music stopped.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12925,30,'\ndefault, n.:\n\t[Possibly from Black English \"De fault wid dis system is you,\n\tmon.\"] The vain attempt to avoid errors by inactivity.  \"Nothing will\n\tcome of nothing: speak again.\" -- King Lear.\n\t\t-- Stan Kelly-Bootle, \"The Devil\'s DP Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12926,30,'\nDefault, n.:\n\tThe hardware\'s, of course.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12927,30,'\nDeja vu:\n\tFrench., already seen; unoriginal; trite.\n\tPsychol., The illusion of having previously experienced\n\tsomething actually being encountered for the first time.\n\tPsychol., The illusion of having previously experienced\n\tsomething actually being encountered for the first time.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12928,30,'\nDeliberation, n.:\n\tThe act of examining one\'s bread to determine which side it is\n\tbuttered on.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12929,30,'\nDentist, n.:\n\tA Prestidigitator who, putting metal in one\'s mouth, pulls\n\tcoins out of one\'s pockets.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12930,30,'\nDenver, n.:\n\tA smallish city located just below the `O\' in Colorado.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12931,30,'\ndesign, v.:\n\tWhat you regret not doing later on.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12932,30,'\nDeVries\' Dilemma:\n\tIf you hit two keys on the typewriter, the one you don\'t want\n\thits the paper.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12933,30,'\nDibble\'s First Law of Sociology:\n\tSome do, some don\'t.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12934,30,'\nDie, v.:\n\tTo stop sinning suddenly.\n\t\t-- Elbert Hubbard\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12935,30,'\nDinner suggestion #302 (Hacker\'s De-lite):\n\t1 tin imported Brisling sardines in tomato sauce\n\t1 pouch Chocolate Malt Carnation Instant Breakfast\n\t1 carton milk\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12936,30,'\ndiplomacy, n:\n\tLying in state.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12937,30,'\nDirksen\'s Three Laws of Politics:\n\t(1) Get elected.\n\t(2) Get re-elected.\n\t(3) Don\'t get mad, get even.\n\t\t-- Sen. Everett Dirksen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12938,30,'\ndisbar, n:\n\tAs distinguished from some other bar.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12939,30,'\nDistinctive, adj.:\n\tA different color or shape than our competitors.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12940,30,'\nDistress, n.:\n\tA disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12941,30,'\ndivorce, n:\n\tA change of wife.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12942,30,'\nDocumentation:\n\tInstructions translated from Swedish by Japanese for English\n\tspeaking persons.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12943,30,'\ndouble-blind experiment, n:\n\tAn experiment in which the chief researcher believes he is\n\tfooling both the subject and the lab assistant.  Often accompanied\n\tby a strong belief in the tooth fairy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12944,30,'\nDow\'s Law:\n\tIn a hierarchical organization, the higher the level,\n\tthe greater the confusion.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12945,30,'\nDrakenberg\'s Discovery:\n\tIf you can\'t seem to find your glasses,\n\tit\'s probably because you don\'t have them on.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12946,30,'\nDrew\'s Law of Highway Biology:\n\tThe first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front\n\tof your eyes.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12947,30,'\ndrug, n:\n\tA substance that, injected into a rat, produces a scientific paper.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12948,30,'\nDucharme\'s Precept:\n\tOpportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.\n\nDucharme\'s Axiom:\n\tIf you view your problem closely enough you will recognize\n\tyourself as part of the problem.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12949,30,'\nDuty, n:\n\tWhat one expects from others.\n\t\t-- Oscar Wilde\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12950,30,'\nEagleson\'s Law:\n\tAny code of your own that you haven\'t looked at for six or more\n\tmonths, might as well have been written by someone else.  (Eagleson\n\tis an optimist, the real number is more like three weeks.)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12951,30,'\neconomics, n.:\n\tEconomics is the study of the value and meaning of J.K. Galbraith.\n\t\t-- Mike Harding, \"The Armchair Anarchist\'s Almanac\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12952,30,'\nEconomies of scale:\n\tThe notion that bigger is better.  In particular, that if you want\n\ta certain amount of computer power, it is much better to buy one\n\tbiggie than a bunch of smallies.  Accepted as an article of faith\n\tby people who love big machines and all that complexity.  Rejected\n\tas an article of faith by those who love small machines and all\n\tthose limitations.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12953,30,'\neconomist, n:\n\tSomeone who\'s good with figures, but doesn\'t have enough\n\tpersonality to become an accountant.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12954,30,'\nEgotism, n:\n\tDoing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.\n\nEgotist, n:\n\tA person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12955,30,'\nEhrman\'s Commentary:\n\t(1) Things will get worse before they get better.\n\t(2) Who said things would get better?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12956,30,'\nElbonics, n.:\n\tThe actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie\n\ttheatre.\n\t\t-- \"Sniglets\", Rich Hall & Friends\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12957,30,'\nElectrocution, n.:\n\tBurning at the stake with all the modern improvements.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12958,30,'\nElephant, n.:\n\tA mouse built to government specifications.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12959,30,'\nEleventh Law of Acoustics:\n\tIn a minimum-phase system there is an inextricable link between\n\tfrequency response, phase response and transient response, as they\n\tare all merely transforms of one another.  This combined with\n\tminimalization of open-loop errors in output amplifiers and correct\n\tcompensation for non-linear passive crossover network loading can\n\tlead to a significant decrease in system resolution lost.  However,\n\tof course, this all means jack when you listen to Pink Floyd.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12960,30,'\nEmacs, n.:\n\tA slow-moving parody of a text editor.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12961,30,'\nEmerson\'s Law of Contrariness:\n\tOur chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we\n\tcan.  Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12962,30,'\nEncyclopedia Salesmen:\n\tInvite them all in.  Nip out the back door.  Phone the police\n\tand tell them your house is being burgled.\n\t\t-- Mike Harding, \"The Armchair Anarchist\'s Almanac\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12963,30,'\nEndless Loop, n.:\n\tsee Loop, Endless.\nLoop, Endless, n.:\n\tsee Endless Loop.\n\t\t-- Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12964,30,'\nEngram, n.:\n\t1. The physical manifestation of human memory -- \"the engram.\"\n2. A particular memory in physical form.  [Usage note:  this term is no longer\nin common use.  Prior to Wilson and Magruder\'s historic discovery, the nature\nof the engram was a topic of intense speculation among neuroscientists,\npsychologists, and even computer scientists.  In 1994 Professors M. R. Wilson\nand W. V. Magruder, both of Mount St. Coax University in Palo Alto, proved\nconclusively that the mammalian brain is hardwired to interpret a set of\nthirty seven genetically transmitted cooperating TECO macros.  Human memory\nwas shown to reside in 1 million Q-registers as Huffman coded uppercase-only\nASCII strings.  Interest in the engram has declined substantially since that\ntime.]\n\t\t-- New Century Unabridged English Dictionary,\n\t\t   3rd edition, 2007 A.D.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12965,30,'\nenhance, v.:\n\tTo tamper with an image, usually to its detriment.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12966,30,'\nEntreprenuer, n.:\n\tA high-rolling risk taker who would rather\n\tbe a spectacular failure than a dismal success.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12967,30,'\nEnvy, n.:\n\tWishing you\'d been born with an unfair advantage,\n\tinstead of having to try and acquire one.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12968,30,'\nEpperson\'s law:\n\tWhen a man says it\'s a silly, childish game, it\'s probably\n\tsomething his wife can beat him at.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12969,30,'\nEtymology, n.:\n\tSome early etymological scholars came up with derivations that\n\twere hard for the public to believe.  The term \"etymology\" was formed\n\tfrom the Latin \"etus\" (\"eaten\"), the root \"mal\" (\"bad\"), and \"logy\"\n\t(\"study of\").  It meant \"the study of things that are hard to swallow.\"\n\t\t-- Mike Kellen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12970,30,'\nEvery Horse has an Infinite Number of Legs (proof by intimidation):\n\nHorses have an even number of legs.  Behind they have two legs, and in\nfront they have fore-legs.  This makes six legs, which is certainly an\nodd number of legs for a horse.  But the only number that is both even\nand odd is infinity.  Therefore, horses have an infinite number of\nlegs.  Now to show this for the general case, suppose that somewhere,\nthere is a horse that has a finite number of legs.  But that is a horse\nof another color, and by the lemma [\"All horses are the same color\"],\nthat does not exist.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12971,30,'\nEvery program has (at least) two purposes:\n\tthe one for which it was written and another for which it wasn\'t.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12972,30,'\nExpense Accounts, n.:\n\tCorporate food stamps.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12973,30,'\nExperience, n.:\n\tSomething you don\'t get until just after you need it.\n\t\t-- Olivier\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12974,30,'\nExpert, n.:\n\tSomeone who comes from out of town and shows slides.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12975,30,'\nExtract from Official Sweepstakes Rules:\n\n\t\tNO PURCHASE REQUIRED TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE\n\nTo claim your prize without purchase, do the following: (a) Carefully\ncut out your computer-printed name and address from upper right hand\ncorner of the Prize Claim Form. (b) Affix computer-printed name and\naddress -- with glue or cellophane tape (no staples or paper clips) --\nto a 3x5 inch index card.  (c) Also cut out the \"No\" paragraph (lower\nleft hand corner of Prize Claim Form) and affix it to the 3x5 card\nbelow your address label. (d) Then print on your 3x5 card, above your\ncomputer-printed name and address the words \"CARTER & VAN PEEL\nSWEEPSTAKES\" (Use all capital letters.)  (e) Finally place 3x5 card\n(without bending) into a plain envelope [NOTE: do NOT use the the\nOfficial Prize Claim and CVP Perfume Reply Envelope or you may be\ndisqualified], and mail to: CVP, Box 1320, Westbury, NY 11595.  Print\nthis address correctly.  Comply with above instructions carefully and\ncompletely or you may be disqualified from receiving your prize.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12976,30,'\nFairy Tale, n.:\n\tA horror story to prepare children for the newspapers.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12977,30,'\nFakir, n:\n\tA psychologist whose charismatic data have inspired almost\n\treligious devotion in his followers, even though the sources\n\tseem to have shinnied up a rope and vanished.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12978,30,'\nfalsie salesman, n:\n\tFuller bust man.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12979,30,'\nFamous last words:\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12980,30,'\nFamous last words:\n\t(1) \"Don\'t worry, I can handle it.\"\n\t(2) \"You and what army?\"\n\t(3) \"If you were as smart as you think you are, you wouldn\'t be\n\t     a cop.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12981,30,'\nFamous last words:\n\t(1) Don\'t unplug it, it will just take a moment to fix.\n\t(2) Let\'s take the shortcut, he can\'t see us from there.\n\t(3) What happens if you touch these two wires tog--\n\t(4) We won\'t need reservations.\n\t(5) It\'s always sunny there this time of the year.\n\t(6) Don\'t worry, it\'s not loaded.\n\t(7) They\'d never (be stupid enough to) make him a manager.\n\t(8) Don\'t worry!  Women love it!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12982,30,'\nFamous quotations:\n\t\" \"\n\t\t-- Charlie Chaplin\n\n\t\" \"\n\t\t-- Harpo Marx\n\n\t\" \"\n\t\t-- Marcel Marceau\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12983,30,'\nFamous, adj.:\n\tConspicuously miserable.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12984,30,'\nfeature, n:\n\tA surprising property of a program.  Occasionaly documented.  To\n\tcall a property a feature sometimes means the author did not\n\tconsider that case, and the program makes an unexpected, though\n\tnot necessarily wrong response.  See BUG.  \"That\'s not a bug, it\'s\n\ta feature!\"  A bug can be changed to a feature by documenting it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12985,30,'\nfenderberg, n.:\n\tThe large glacial deposits that form on the insides\n\tof car fenders during snowstorms.\n\t\t-- \"Sniglets\", Rich Hall & Friends\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12986,30,'\nFerguson\'s Precept:\n\tA crisis is when you can\'t say \"let\'s forget the whole thing.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12987,30,'\nFidelity, n.:\n\tA virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12988,30,'\nFifth Law of Applied Terror:\n\tIf you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.\n\nCorollary:\n\tIf you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12989,30,'\nFifth Law of Procrastination:\n\tProcrastination avoids boredom; one never has the feeling that\n\tthere is nothing important to do.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12990,30,'\nFile cabinet:\n\tA four drawer, manually activated trash compactor.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12991,30,'\nfilibuster, n.:\n\tThrowing your wait around.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12992,30,'\nFinagle\'s Creed:\n\tScience is true.  Don\'t be misled by facts.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12993,30,'\nFinagle\'s Eighth Law:\n\tIf an experiment works, something has gone wrong.\n\nFinagle\'s Ninth Law:\n\tNo matter what results are expected, someone is always willing to\n\tfake it.\n\nFinagle\'s Tenth Law:\n\tNo matter what the result someone is always eager to misinterpret it.\n\nFinagle\'s Eleventh Law:\n\tNo matter what occurs, someone believes it happened according to\n\this pet theory.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12994,30,'\nFinagle\'s First Law:\n\tIf an experiment works, something has gone wrong.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12995,30,'\nFinagle\'s First Law:\n\tTo study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start.\n\nFinagle\'s Second Law:\n\tAlways keep a record of data -- it indicates you\'ve been working.\n\nFinagle\'s Fourth Law:\n\tOnce a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes\n\tit worse.\n\nFinagle\'s Fifth Law:\n\tAlways draw your curves, then plot your readings.\n\nFinagle\'s Sixth Law:\n\tDon\'t believe in miracles -- rely on them.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12996,30,'\nFinagle\'s Second Law:\n\tNo matter what the anticipated result, there will always be\n\tsomeone eager to (a) misinterpret it, (b) fake it, or (c) believe it\n\thappened according to his own pet theory.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12997,30,'\nFinagle\'s Seventh Law:\n\tThe perversity of the universe tends toward a maximum.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12998,30,'\nFinagle\'s Third Law:\n\tIn any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct,\n\tbeyond all need of checking, is the mistake\n\nCorollaries:\n\t(1) Nobody whom you ask for help will see it.\n\t(2) The first person who stops by, whose advice you really\n\t    don\'t want to hear, will see it immediately.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (12999,30,'\nFine\'s Corollary:\n\tFunctionality breeds Contempt.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13000,30,'\nFinster\'s Law:\n\tA closed mouth gathers no feet.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13001,30,'\nFirst Law of Bicycling:\n\tNo matter which way you ride, it\'s uphill and against the wind.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13002,30,'\nFirst law of debate:\n\tNever argue with a fool.  People might not know the difference.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13003,30,'\nFirst Law of Procrastination:\n\tProcrastination shortens the job and places the responsibility\n\tfor its termination on someone else (i.e., the authority who\n\timposed the deadline).\n\nFifth Law of Procrastination:\n\tProcrastination avoids boredom; one never has the feeling that\n\tthere is nothing important to do.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13004,30,'\nFirst Law of Socio-Genetics:\n\tCelibacy is not hereditary.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13005,30,'\nFirst Rule of History:\n\tHistory doesn\'t repeat itself -- historians merely repeat each other.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13006,30,'\nFishbowl, n.:\n\tA glass-enclosed isolation cell where newly promoted managers are\n\tkept for observation.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13007,30,'\nFive rules for eternal misery:\n\t(1) Always try to exhort others to look upon you favorably.\n\t(2) Make lots of assumptions about situations and be sure to\n\t    treat these assumptions as though they are reality.\n\t(3) Then treat each new situation as though it\'s a crisis.\n\t(4) Live in the past and future only (become obsessed with\n\t    how much better things might have been or how much worse\n\t    things might become).\n\t(5) Occasionally stomp on yourself for being so stupid as to\n\t    follow the first four rules.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13008,30,'\nflannister, n.:\n\tThe plastic yoke that holds a six-pack of beer together.\n\t\t-- \"Sniglets\", Rich Hall & Friends\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13009,30,'\nFlon\'s Law:\n\tThere is not now, and never will be, a language in\n\twhich it is the least bit difficult to write bad programs.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13010,30,'\nflowchart, n. & v.:\n\t[From flow \"to ripple down in rich profusion, as hair\" + chart\n\"a cryptic hidden-treasure map designed to mislead the uninitiated.\"]\n1. n. The solution, if any, to a class of Mascheroni construction\nproblems in which given algorithms require geometrical representation\nusing only the 35 basic ideograms of the ANSI template.  2. n. Neronic\ndoodling while the system burns.  3. n. A low-cost substitute for\nwallpaper.  4. n.  The innumerate misleading the illiterate.  \"A\nthousand pictures is worth ten lines of code.\" -- The Programmer\'s\nLittle Red Vade Mecum, Mao Tse T\'umps.  5. v.intrans. To produce\nflowcharts with no particular object in mind.  6. v.trans. To obfuscate\n(a problem) with esoteric cartoons.\n\t\t-- Stan Kelly-Bootle, \"The Devil\'s DP Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13011,30,'\nFlugg\'s Law:\n\tWhen you need to knock on wood is when you realize\n\tthat the world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13012,30,'\nFog Lamps, n.:\n\tExcessively (often obnoxiously) bright lamps mounted on the fronts\n\tof automobiles; used on dry, clear nights to indicate that the\n\tdriver\'s brain is in a fog.  See also \"Idiot Lights\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13013,30,'\nFoolproof Operation:\n\tNo provision for adjustment.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13014,30,'\nForecast, n.:\n\tA prediction of the future, based on the past, for\n\twhich the forecaster demands payment in the present.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13015,30,'\nForgetfulness, n.:\n\tA gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for\n\ttheir destitution of conscience.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13016,30,'\nFORTUNE EXPLAINS WHAT JOB REVIEW CATCH PHRASES MEAN:\t#1\nskilled oral communicator:\n\tMumbles inaudibly when attempting to speak.  Talks to self.\n\tArgues with self.  Loses these arguments.\n\nskilled written communicator:\n\tScribbles well.  Memos are invariable illegible, except for\n\tthe portions that attribute recent failures to someone else.\n\ngrowth potential:\n\tWith proper guidance, periodic counselling, and remedial training,\n\tthe reviewee may, given enough time and close supervision, meet\n\tthe minimum requirements expected of him by the company.\n\nkey company figure:\n\tServes as the perfect counter example.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13017,30,'\nFORTUNE EXPLAINS WHAT JOB REVIEW CATCH PHRASES MEAN:\t#4\nconsistent:\n\tReviewee hasn\'t gotten anything right yet, and it is anticipated\n\tthat this pattern will continue throughout the coming year.\n\nan excellent sounding board:\n\tPresent reviewee with any number of alternatives, and implement\n\tthem in the order precisely opposite of his/her specification.\n\na planner and organizer:\n\tUsually manages to put on socks before shoes.  Can match the\n\tanimal tags on his clothing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13018,30,'\nFORTUNE EXPLAINS WHAT JOB REVIEW CATCH PHRASES MEAN:\t#9\nhas management potential:\n\tBecause of his intimate relationship with inanimate objects, the\n\treviewee has been appointed to the critical position of department\n\tpencil monitor.\n\ninspirational:\n\tA true inspiration to others.  (\"There, but for the grace of God,\n\tgo I.\")\n\nadapts to stress:\n\tPasses wind, water, or out depending upon the severity of the\n\tsituation.\n\ngoal oriented:\n\tContinually sets low goals for himself, and usually fails\n\tto meet them.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13019,30,'\nFortune\'s Rules for Memo Wars: #2\n\nGiven the incredible advances in sociocybernetics and telepsychology over\nthe last few years, we are now able to completely understand everything that\nthe author of an memo is trying to say.  Thanks to modern developments\nin electrocommunications like notes, vnews, and electricity, we have an\nincredible level of interunderstanding the likes of which civilization has\nnever known.  Thus, the possibility of your misinterpreting someone else\'s\nmemo is practically nil.  Knowing this, anyone who accuses you of having\ndone so is a liar, and should be treated accordingly.  If you *do* understand\nthe memo in question, but have absolutely nothing of substance to say, then\nyou have an excellent opportunity for a vicious ad hominem attack.  In fact,\nthe only *inappropriate* times for an ad hominem attack are as follows:\n\n\t1: When you agree completely with the author of an memo.\n\t2: When the author of the original memo is much bigger than you are.\n\t3: When replying to one of your own memos.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13020,30,'\nFourth Law of Applied Terror:\n\tThe night before the English History mid-term, your Biology\n\tinstructor will assign 200 pages on planaria.\n\nCorollary:\n\tEvery instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except\n\tstudy for that instructor\'s course.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13021,30,'\nFourth Law of Revision:\n\tIt is usually impractical to worry beforehand about\n\tinterferences -- if you have none, someone will make one for you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13022,30,'\nFourth Law of Thermodynamics:\n\tIf the probability of success is not almost one, it is damn near zero.\n\t\t-- David Ellis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13023,30,'\nFresco\'s Discovery:\n\tIf you knew what you were doing you\'d probably be bored.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13024,30,'\nFried\'s 1st Rule:\n\tIncreased automation of clerical function\n\tinvariably results in increased operational costs.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13025,30,'\nFriends, n.:\n\tPeople who borrow your books and set wet glasses on them.\n\n\tPeople who know you well, but like you anyway.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13026,30,'\nFrobnicate, v.:\n\tTo manipulate or adjust, to tweak.  Derived from FROBNITZ. Usually\nabbreviated to FROB.  Thus one has the saying \"to frob a frob.\" See TWEAK\nand TWIDDLE.  Usage: FROB, TWIDDLE, and TWEAK sometimes connote points along\na continuum.  FROB connotes aimless manipulation; TWIDDLE connotes gross\nmanipulation, often a coarse search for a proper setting; TWEAK connotes\nfine-tuning.  If someone is turning a knob on an oscilloscope, then if he\'s\ncarefully adjusting it he is probably tweaking it; if he is just turning it\nbut looking at the screen he is probably twiddling it; but if he\'s just\ndoing it because turning a knob is fun, he\'s frobbing it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13027,30,'\nFrobnitz, pl. Frobnitzem (frob\'nitsm) n.:\n\tAn unspecified physical object, a widget.  Also refers to electronic\nblack boxes.  This rare form is usually abbreviated to FROTZ, or more\ncommonly to FROB.  Also used are FROBNULE, FROBULE, and FROBNODULE.\nStarting perhaps in 1979, FROBBOZ (fruh-bahz\'), pl. FROBBOTZIM, has also\nbecome very popular, largely due to its exposure via the Adventure spin-off\ncalled Zork (Dungeon).  These can also be applied to non-physical objects,\nsuch as data structures.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13028,30,'\nFuch\'s Warning:\n\tIf you actually look like your passport photo, you aren\'t well\n\tenough to travel.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13029,30,'\nFudd\'s First Law of Opposition:\n\tPush something hard enough and it will fall over.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13030,30,'\nFun experiments:\n\tGet a can of shaving cream, throw it in a freezer for about a week.\n\tThen take it out, peel the metal off and put it where you want...\n\tbedroom, car, etc.  As it thaws, it expands an unbelievable amount.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13031,30,'\nFun Facts, #14:\n\tIn table tennis, whoever gets 21 points first wins.  That\'s how\n\tit once was in baseball -- whoever got 21 runs first won.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13032,30,'\nFun Facts, #63:\n\tThe name California was given to the state by Spanish conquistadores.\n\tIt was the name of an imaginary island, a paradise on earth, in the\n\tSpanish romance, \"Les Serges de Esplandian\", written by Montalvo in\n\t1510.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13033,30,'\nfurbling, v.:\n\tHaving to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank\n\teven when you are the only person in line.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13034,30,'\nGalbraith\'s Law of Human Nature:\n\tFaced with the choice between changing one\'s mind and proving that\n\tthere is no need to do so, almost everybody gets busy on the proof.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13035,30,'\nGenderplex, n.:\n\tThe predicament of a person in a restaurant who is unable to\n\tdetermine his or her designated restroom (e.g., turtles and tortoises).\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13036,30,'\ngenealogy, n.:\n\tAn account of one\'s descent from an ancestor\n\twho did not particularly care to trace his own.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13037,30,'\nGenius, n.:\n\tA chemist who discovers a laundry additive that rhymes with \"bright.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13038,30,'\ngenius, n.:\n\tPerson clever enough to be born in the right place at the right\n\ttime of the right sex and to follow up this advantage by saying\n\tall the right things to all the right people.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13039,30,'\ngenlock, n.:\n\tWhy he stays in the bottle.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13040,30,'\nGerrold\'s Laws of Infernal Dynamics:\n\t(1) An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.\n\t(2) An object at rest will always be in the wrong place.\n\t(3) The energy required to change either one of these states\n\t   will always be more than you wish to expend, but never so\n\t   much as to make the task totally impossible.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13041,30,'\nGetting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.\n\nCorollary:\n\tFollowing the rules will not get the job done.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13042,30,'\nGilbert\'s Discovery:\n\tAny attempt to use the new super glues results in the two pieces\n\tsticking to your thumb and index finger rather than to each other.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13043,30,'\nGinsberg\'s Theorem:\n\t(1) You can\'t win.\n\t(2) You can\'t break even.\n\t(3) You can\'t even quit the game.\n\nFreeman\'s Commentary on Ginsberg\'s theorem:\n\tEvery major philosophy that attempts to make life seem\n\tmeaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg\'s\n\tTheorem.  To wit:\n\n\t(1) Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win.\n\t(2) Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even.\n\t(3) Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the game.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13044,30,'\nGinsburg\'s Law:\n\tAt the precise moment you take off your shoe in a shoe store, your\n\tbig toe will pop out of your sock to see what\'s going on.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13045,30,'\ngleemites, n.:\n\tPetrified deposits of toothpaste found in sinks.\n\t\t-- \"Sniglets\", Rich Hall & Friends\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13046,30,'\nGlib\'s Fourth Law of Unreliability:\n\tInvestment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the\n\tprobable cost of errors, or until someone insists on getting\n\tsome useful work done.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13047,30,'\nGnagloot, n.:\n\tA person who leaves all his ski passes on his jacket just to\n\timpress people.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13048,30,'\nGoda\'s Truism:\n\tBy the time you get to the point where you can make ends meet,\n\tsomebody moves the ends.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13049,30,'\nGodwin\'s Law (prov.  [Usenet]):\n\tAs a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a\n\tcomparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.\" There is a\n\ttradition in many groups that, once this occurs, that thread is\n\tover, and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically lost\n\twhatever argument was in progress.  Godwin\'s Law thus guarantees\n\tthe existence of an upper bound on thread length in those groups.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13050,30,'\nGold\'s Law:\n\tIf the shoe fits, it\'s ugly.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13051,30,'\nGold, n.:\n\tA soft malleable metal relatively scarce in distribution.  It\n\tis mined deep in the earth by poor men who then give it to rich\n\tmen who immediately bury it back in the earth in great prisons,\n\talthough gold hasn\'t done anything to them.\n\t\t-- Mike Harding, \"The Armchair Anarchist\'s Almanac\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13052,30,'\nGoldenstern\'s Rules:\n\t(1) Always hire a rich attorney\n\t(2) Never buy from a rich salesman.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13053,30,'\nGomme\'s Laws:\n\t(1) A backscratcher will always find new itches.\n\t(2) Time accelerates.\n\t(3) The weather at home improves as soon as you go away.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13054,30,'\nGordon\'s first law:\n\tIf a research project is not worth doing, it is not worth doing well.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13055,30,'\nGordon\'s Law:\n\tIf you think you have the solution, the question was poorly phrased.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13056,30,'\ngossip, n.:\n\tHearing something you like about someone you don\'t.\n\t\t-- Earl Wilson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13057,30,'\nGoto, n.:\n\tA programming tool that exists to allow structured programmers\n\tto complain about unstructured programmers.\n\t\t-- Ray Simard\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13058,30,'\nGovernment\'s Law:\n\tThere is an exception to all laws.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13059,30,'\nGrabel\'s Law:\n\t2 is not equal to 3 -- not even for large values of 2.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13060,30,'\nGrandpa Charnock\'s Law:\n\tYou never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.\n\n\t[I thought it was when your kids learned to drive.  Ed.]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13061,30,'\ngrasshopotomaus:\n\tA creature that can leap to tremendous heights... once.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13062,30,'\nGravity:\n\tWhat you get when you eat too much and too fast.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13063,30,'\nGray\'s Law of Programming:\n\t`_\bn+1\' trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same\n\ttime as `_\bn\' tasks.\n\nLogg\'s Rebuttal to Gray\'s Law:\n\t`_\bn+1\' trivial tasks take twice as long as `_\bn\' trivial tasks.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13064,30,'\nGreat American Axiom:\n\tSome is good, more is better, too much is just right.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13065,30,'\nGreen\'s Law of Debate:\n\tAnything is possible if you don\'t know what you\'re talking about.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13066,30,'\nGreener\'s Law:\n\tNever argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13067,30,'\nGrelb\'s Reminder:\n\tEighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above\n\taverage drivers.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13068,30,'\nGriffin\'s Thought:\n\tWhen you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13069,30,'\nGrinnell\'s Law of Labor Laxity:\n\tAt all times, for any task, you have not got enough done today.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13070,30,'\nGuillotine, n.:\n\tA French chopping center.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13071,30,'\nGumperson\'s Law:\n\tThe probability of a given event occurring is inversely\n\tproportional to its desirability.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13072,30,'\nGunter\'s Airborne Discoveries:\n\t(1)  When you are served a meal aboard an aircraft,\n\t     the aircraft will encounter turbulence.\n\t(2)  The strength of the turbulence\n\t     is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13073,30,'\ngurmlish, n.:\n\tThe red warning flag at the top of a club sandwich which\n\tprevents the person from biting into it and puncturing the roof\n\tof his mouth.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13074,30,'\nguru, n.:\n\tA person in T-shirt and sandals who took an elevator ride with\n\ta senior vice-president and is ultimately responsible for the\n\tphone call you are about to receive from your boss.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13075,30,'\nguru, n:\n\tA computer owner who can read the manual.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13076,30,'\ngyroscope, n.:\n\tA wheel or disk mounted to spin rapidly about an axis and also\n\tfree to rotate about one or both of two axes perpindicular to\n\teach other and the axis of spin so that a rotation of one of the\n\ttwo mutually perpendicular axes results from application of\n\ttorque to the other when the wheel is spinning and so that the\n\tentire apparatus offers considerable opposition depending on\n\tthe angular momentum to any torque that would change the direction\n\tof the axis of spin.\n\t\t-- Webster\'s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13077,30,'\nH. L. Mencken\'s Law:\n\tThose who can -- do.\n\tThose who can\'t -- teach.\n\nMartin\'s Extension:\n\tThose who cannot teach -- administrate.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13078,30,'\nHacker\'s Law:\n\tThe belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir\n\ta nation to action is one of mankind\'s oldest illusions.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13079,30,'\nHacker\'s Quicky #313:\n\tSour Cream -n- Onion Potato Chips\n\tMicrowave Egg Roll\n\tChocolate Milk\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13080,30,'\nhacker, n.:\n\tA master byter.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13081,30,'\nhacker, n.:\n\tOriginally, any person with a knack for coercing stubborn inanimate\n\tthings; hence, a person with a happy knack, later contracted by the\n\tmythical philosopher Frisbee Frobenius to the common usage, \'hack\'.\n\tIn olden times, upon completion of some particularly atrocious body\n\tof coding that happened to work well, culpable programmers would gather\n\tin a small circle around a first edition of Knuth\'s Best Volume I by\n\tcandlelight, and proceed to get very drunk while sporadically rending\n\tthe following ditty:\n\n\t\tHacker\'s Fight Song\n\n\t\tHe\'s a Hack!  He\'s a Hack!\n\t\tHe\'s a guy with the happy knack!\n\t\tNever bungles, never shirks,\n\t\tAlways gets his stuff to work!\n\nAll take a drink (important!)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13082,30,'\nHale Mail Rule, The:\n\tWhen you are ready to reply to a letter, you will lack at least\n\tone of the following:\n\t\t(a) A pen or pencil or typewriter.\n\t\t(b) Stationery.\n\t\t(c) Postage stamp.\n\t\t(d) The letter you are answering.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13083,30,'\nhalf-done, n.:\n\tThis is the best way to eat a kosher dill -- when it\'s still crunchy,\n\tlight green, yet full of garlic flavor.  The difference between this\n\tand the typical soggy dark green cucumber corpse is like the\n\tdifference between life and death.\n\n\tYou may find it difficult to find a good half-done kosher dill there\n\tin Seattle, so what you should do is take a cab out to the airport,\n\tfly to New York, take the JFK Express to Jay Street-Borough Hall,\n\ttransfer to an uptown F, get off at East Broadway, walk north on\n\tEssex (along the park), make your first left onto Hester Street, walk\n\tabout fifteen steps, turn ninety degrees left, and stop.  Say to the\n\tman, \"Let me have a nice half-done.\"  Worth the trouble, wasn\'t it?\n\t\t-- Arthur Naiman, \"Every Goy\'s Guide to Yiddish\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13084,30,'\nHand, n.:\n\tA singular instrument worn at the end of a human arm and\n\tcommonly thrust into somebody\'s pocket.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13085,30,'\nhandshaking protocol, n:\n\tA process employed by hostile hardware devices to initate a\n\tterse but civil dialogue, which, in turn, is characterized by\n\toccasional misunderstanding, sulking, and name-calling.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13086,30,'\nHangover, n.:\n\tThe burden of proof.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13087,30,'\nhangover, n.:\n\tThe wrath of grapes.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13088,30,'\nHanlon\'s Razor:\n\tNever attribute to malice that which is adequately explained\n\tby stupidity.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13089,30,'\nHanson\'s Treatment of Time:\n\tThere are never enough hours in a day, but always too many days\n\tbefore Saturday.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13090,30,'\nHappiness, n.:\n\tAn agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13091,30,'\nhard, adj.:\n\tThe quality of your own data; also how it is to believe those\n\tof other people.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13092,30,'\nHardware, n.:\n\tThe parts of a computer system that can be kicked.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13093,30,'\nHarriet\'s Dining Observation:\n\tIn every restaurant, the hardness of the butter pats\n\tincreases in direct proportion to the softness of the bread.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13094,30,'\nHarris\'s Lament:\n\tAll the good ones are taken.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13095,30,'\nHarrisberger\'s Fourth Law of the Lab:\n\tExperience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13096,30,'\nHarrison\'s Postulate:\n\tFor every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13097,30,'\nHartley\'s First Law:\n\tYou can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float\n\ton his back, you\'ve got something.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13098,30,'\nHatred, n.:\n\tA sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another\'s superiority.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13099,30,'\nHawkeye\'s Conclusion:\n\tIt\'s not easy to play the clown when you\'ve got to run the whole\n\tcircus.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13100,30,'\nHeaven, n.:\n\tA place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of\n\ttheir personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you\n\texpound your own.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13101,30,'\nheavy, adj.:\n\tSeduced by the chocolate side of the force.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13102,30,'\nHeller\'s Law:\n\tThe first myth of management is that it exists.\n\nJohnson\'s Corollary:\n\tNobody really knows what is going on anywhere within the\n\torganization.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13103,30,'\nHempstone\'s Question:\n\tIf you have to travel on the Titanic, why not go first class?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13104,30,'\nHerth\'s Law:\n\tHe who turns the other cheek too far gets it in the neck.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13105,30,'\nHewett\'s Observation:\n\tThe rudeness of a bureaucrat is inversely proportional to his or\n\ther position in the governmental hierarchy and to the number of\n\tpeers similarly engaged.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13106,30,'\nHildebrant\'s Principle:\n\tIf you don\'t know where you are going, any road will get you there.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13107,30,'\nHippogriff, n.:\n\tAn animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin.\n\tThe griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle.\n\tThe hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one quarter eagle, which\n\tis two dollars and fifty cents in gold.  The study of zoology is full\n\tof surprises.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13108,30,'\nHistory, n.:\n\tPapa Hegel he say that all we learn from history is that we\n\tlearn nothing from history.  I know people who can\'t even learn from\n\twhat happened this morning.  Hegel must have been taking the long view.\n\t\t-- Chad C. Mulligan, \"The Hipcrime Vocab\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13109,30,'\nHitchcock\'s Staple Principle:\n\tThe stapler runs out of staples only while you are trying to\n\tstaple something.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13110,30,'\nHlade\'s Law:\n\tIf you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person --\n\tthey will find an easier way to do it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13111,30,'\nHoare\'s Law of Large Problems:\n\tInside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13112,30,'\nHoffer\'s Discovery:\n\tThe grand act of a dying institution is to issue a newly\n\trevised, enlarged edition of the policies and procedures manual.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13113,30,'\nHofstadter\'s Law:\n\tIt always takes longer than you expect, even when you take\n\tHofstadter\'s Law into account.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13114,30,'\nHollerith, v.:\n\tWhat thou doest when thy phone is on the fritzeth.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13115,30,'\nhoneymoon, n.:\n\tA short period of doting between dating and debting.\n\t\t-- Ray C. Bandy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13116,30,'\nHonorable, adj.:\n\tAfflicted with an impediment in one\'s reach.  In legislative\n\tbodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as,\n\t\"the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.\"\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13117,30,'\nHorner\'s Five Thumb Postulate:\n\tExperience varies directly with equipment ruined.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13118,30,'\nHorngren\'s Observation:\n\tAmong economists, the real world is often a special case.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13119,30,'\nHousehold hint:\n\tIf you are out of cream for your coffee, mayonnaise makes a\n\tdandy substitute.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13120,30,'\nHOW YOU CAN TELL THAT IT\'S GOING TO BE A ROTTEN DAY:\n\t#1040 Your income tax refund cheque bounces.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13121,30,'\nHOW YOU CAN TELL THAT IT\'S GOING TO BE A ROTTEN DAY:\n\t#15 Your pet rock snaps at you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13122,30,'\nHOW YOU CAN TELL THAT IT\'S GOING TO BE A ROTTEN DAY:\n\t#32: You call your answering service and they\'ve never heard of you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13123,30,'\nHowe\'s Law:\n\tEveryone has a scheme that will not work.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13124,30,'\nHubbard\'s Law:\n\tDon\'t take life too seriously; you won\'t get out of it alive.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13125,30,'\nHurewitz\'s Memory Principle:\n\tThe chance of forgetting something is directly proportional\n\tto... to... uh.....\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13126,30,'\nIBM Pollyanna Principle:\n\tMachines should work.  People should think.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13127,30,'\nIBM\'s original motto:\n\tCogito ergo vendo; vendo ergo sum.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13128,30,'\nIBM:\n\t[International Business Machines Corp.]  Also known as Itty Bitty\n\tMachines or The Lawyer\'s Friend.  The dominant force in computer\n\tmarketing, having supplied worldwide some 75');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13129,30,' of all known hardware\n\tand 10');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13130,30,' of all software.  To protect itself from the litigious envy\n\tof less successful organizations, such as the US government, IBM\n\temploys 68');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13131,30,' of all known ex-Attorneys\' General.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13132,30,'\nIBM:\n\tI\'ve Been Moved\n\tIdiots Become Managers\n\tIdiots Buy More\n\tImpossible to Buy Machine\n\tIncredibly Big Machine\n\tIndustry\'s Biggest Mistake\n\tInternational Brotherhood of Mercenaries\n\tIt Boggles the Mind\n\tIt\'s Better Manually\n\tItty-Bitty Machines\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13133,30,'\nIBM:\n\tIt may be slow, but it\'s hard to use.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13134,30,'\nidiot box, n.:\n\tThe part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the\n\tstamp when they can\'t quite figure it out for themselves.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13135,30,'\nIdiot, n.:\n\tA member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human\n\taffairs has always been dominant and controlling.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13136,30,'\nidleness, n.:\n\tLeisure gone to seed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13137,30,'\nignisecond, n:\n\tThe overlapping moment of time when the hand is locking the car\n\tdoor even as the brain is saying, \"my keys are in there!\"\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13138,30,'\nignorance, n.:\n\tWhen you don\'t know anything, and someone else finds out.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13139,30,'\nIles\'s Law:\n\tThere is always an easier way to do it.  When looking directly\n\tat the easy way, especially for long periods, you will not see it.\n\tNeither will Iles.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13140,30,'\nImbesi\'s Law with Freeman\'s Extension:\n\tIn order for something to become clean, something else must\n\tbecome dirty; but you can get everything dirty without getting\n\tanything clean.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13141,30,'\nImmutability, Three Rules of:\n\t(1)  If a tarpaulin can flap, it will.\n\t(2)  If a small boy can get dirty, he will.\n\t(3)  If a teenager can go out, he will.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13142,30,'\nImpartial, adj.:\n\tUnable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from\n\tespousing either side of a controversy or adopting either of two\n\tconflicting opinions.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13143,30,'\ninbox, n.:\n\tA catch basin for everything you don\'t want to deal with, but\n\tare afraid to throw away.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13144,30,'\nincentive program, n.:\n\tThe system of long and short-term rewards that a corporation uses\n\tto motivate its people.  Still, despite all the experimentation with\n\tprofit sharing, stock options, and the like, the most effective\n\tincentive program to date seems to be \"Do a good job and you get to\n\tkeep it.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13145,30,'\nIncumbent, n.:\n\tPerson of liveliest interest to the outcumbents.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13146,30,'\nindex, n.:\n\tAlphabetical list of words of no possible interest where an\n\talphabetical list of subjects with references ought to be.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13147,30,'\nInfancy, n.:\n\tThe period of our lives when, according to Wordsworth, \"Heaven lies\n\tabout us.\"  The world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13148,30,'\nInformation Center, n.:\n\tA room staffed by professional computer people whose job it is to\n\ttell you why you cannot have the information you require.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13149,30,'\nInformation Processing:\n\tWhat you call data processing when people are so disgusted with\n\tit they won\'t let it be discussed in their presence.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13150,30,'\nIngrate, n.:\n\tA man who bites the hand that feeds him, and then complains of\n\tindigestion.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13151,30,'\nink, n.:\n\tA villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic,\n\tand water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of\n\tidiocy and promote intellectual crime.\n\t\t-- H.L. Mencken\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13152,30,'\ninnovate, v.:\n\tTo annoy people.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13153,30,'\ninsecurity, n.:\n\tFinding out that you\'ve mispronounced for years one of your\n\tfavorite words.\n\n\tRealizing halfway through a joke that you\'re telling it to\n\tthe person who told it to you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13154,30,'\ninterest, n.:\n\tWhat borrowers pay, lenders receive, stockholders own, and\n\tburned out employees must feign.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13155,30,'\nInterpreter, n.:\n\tOne who enables two persons of different languages to\n\tunderstand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to\n\tthe interpreter\'s advantage for the other to have said.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13156,30,'\nintoxicated, adj.:\n\tWhen you feel sophisticated without being able to pronounce it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13157,30,'\nIron Law of Distribution:\n\tThem that has, gets.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13158,30,'\nISO applications:\n\tA solution in search of a problem!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13159,30,'\nIssawi\'s Laws of Progress:\n\tThe Course of Progress:\n\t\tMost things get steadily worse.\n\tThe Path of Progress:\n\t\tA shortcut is the longest distance between two points.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13160,30,'\nIt is fruitless:\n\tto become lachrymose over precipitately departed lactate fluid.\n\n\tto attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with\n\tinnovative maneuvers.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13161,30,'\n\"It\'s in process\":\n\tSo wrapped up in red tape that the situation is almost hopeless.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13162,30,'\nitalic, adj:\n\tSlanted to the right to emphasize key phrases.  Unique to\n\tWestern alphabets; in Eastern languages, the same phrases\n\tare often slanted to the left.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13163,30,'\nJacquin\'s Postulate on Democratic Government:\n\tNo man\'s life, liberty, or property are safe while the\n\tlegislature is in session.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13164,30,'\nJenkinson\'s Law:\n\tIt won\'t work.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13165,30,'\nJim Nasium\'s Law:\n\tIn a large locker room with hundreds of lockers, the few people\n\tusing the facility at any one time will all have lockers next to\n\teach other so that everybody is cramped.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13166,30,'\njob interview, n.:\n\tThe excruciating process during which personnel officers\n\tseparate the wheat from the chaff -- then hire the chaff.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13167,30,'\njob Placement, n.:\n\tTelling your boss what he can do with your job.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13168,30,'\njogger, n.:\n\tAn odd sort of person with a thing for pain.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13169,30,'\nJohnny Carson\'s Definition:\n\tThe smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs\n\tin Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the\n\ttaxi driver behind you blowing his horn.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13170,30,'\nJohnson\'s First Law:\n\tWhen any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the\n\tmost inconvenient possible time.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13171,30,'\nJohnson\'s law:\n\tSystems resemble the organizations that create them.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13172,30,'\nJones\' First Law:\n\tAnyone who makes a significant contribution to any field of\n\tendeavor, and stays in that field long enough, becomes an\n\tobstruction to its progress -- in direct proportion to the\n\timportance of their original contribution.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13173,30,'\nJones\' Motto:\n\tFriends come and go, but enemies accumulate.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13174,30,'\nJones\' Second Law:\n\tThe man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone\n\tto blame it on.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13175,30,'\nJuall\'s Law on Nice Guys:\n\tNice guys don\'t always finish last; sometimes they don\'t finish.\n\tSometimes they don\'t even get a chance to start!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13176,30,'\nJustice, n.:\n\tA decision in your favor.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13177,30,'\nKafka\'s Law:\n\tIn the fight between you and the world, back the world.\n\t\t-- Franz Kafka, \"RS\'s 1974 Expectation of Days\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13178,30,'\nKarlson\'s Theorem of Snack Food Packages:\n\tFor all P, where P is a package of snack food, P is a SINGLE-SERVING\n\tpackage of snack food.\n\nGibson the Cat\'s Corrolary:\n\tFor all L, where L is a package of lunch meat, L is Gibson\'s package\n\tof lunch meat.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13179,30,'\nKatz\' Law:\n\tMen and nations will act rationally when\n\tall other possibilities have been exhausted.\n\nHistory teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have\nexhausted all other alternatives.\n\t\t-- Abba Eban\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13180,30,'\nKaufman\'s First Law of Party Physics:\n\tPopulation density is inversely proportional\n\tto the square of the distance from the keg.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13181,30,'\nKaufman\'s Law:\n\tA policy is a restrictive document to prevent a recurrence\n\tof a single incident, in which that incident is never mentioned.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13182,30,'\nKeep in mind always the four constant Laws of Frisbee:\n\t(1) The most powerful force in the world is that of a disc\n\t   straining to land under a car, just out of reach (this\n\t   force is technically termed \"car suck\").\n\t(2) Never precede any maneuver by a comment more predictive\n\t   than \"Watch this!\"\n\t(3) The probability of a Frisbee hitting something is directly\n\t   proportional to the cost of hitting it.  For instance, a\n\t   Frisbee will always head directly towards a policeman or\n\t   a little old lady rather than the beat up Chevy.\n\t(4) Your best throw happens when no one is watching; when the\n\t   cute girl you\'ve been trying to impress is watching, the\n\t   Frisbee will invariably bounce out of your hand or hit you\n\t   in the head and knock you silly.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13183,30,'\nKennedy\'s Market Theorem:\n\tGiven enough inside information and unlimited credit,\n\tyou\'ve got to go broke.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13184,30,'\nKent\'s Heuristic:\n\tLook for it first where you\'d most like to find it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13185,30,'\nkern, v.:\n\t1. To pack type together as tightly as the kernels on an ear\n\tof corn.  2. In parts of Brooklyn and Queens, N.Y., a small,\n\tmetal object used as part of the monetary system.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13186,30,'\nkernel, n.:\n\tA part of an operating system that preserves the medieval\n\ttraditions of sorcery and black art.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13187,30,'\nKettering\'s Observation:\n\tLogic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13188,30,'\nKime\'s Law for the Reward of Meekness:\n\tTurning the other cheek merely ensures two bruised cheeks.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13189,30,'\nKin, n.:\n\tAn affliction of the blood.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13190,30,'\nKington\'s Law of Perforation:\n\tIf a straight line of holes is made in a piece of paper, such\n\tas a sheet of stamps or a check, that line becomes the strongest\n\tpart of the paper.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13191,30,'\nKinkler\'s First Law:\n\tResponsibility always exceeds authority.\n\nKinkler\'s Second Law:\n\tAll the easy problems have been solved.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13192,30,'\nKliban\'s First Law of Dining:\n\tNever eat anything bigger than your head.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13193,30,'\nKludge, n.:\n\tAn ill-assorted collection of poorly-matching parts, forming a\n\tdistressing whole.\n\t\t-- Jackson Granholm, \"Datamation\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13194,30,'\nKnebel\'s Law:\n\tIt is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading\n\tcauses of statistics.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13195,30,'\nknowledge, n.:\n\tThings you believe.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13196,30,'\nKramer\'s Law:\n\tYou can never tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13197,30,'\nKrogt, n. (chemical symbol: Kr):\n\tThe metallic silver coating found on fast-food game cards.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13198,30,'\nLabor, n.:\n\tOne of the processes by which A acquires property for B.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13199,30,'\nLackland\'s Laws:\n\t(1) Never be first.\n\t(2) Never be last.\n\t(3) Never volunteer for anything\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13200,30,'\nLactomangulation, n.:\n\tManhandling the \"open here\" spout on a milk carton so badly\n\tthat one has to resort to using the \"illegal\" side.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13201,30,'\nLangsam\'s Laws:\n\t(1) Everything depends.\n\t(2) Nothing is always.\n\t(3) Everything is sometimes.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13202,30,'\nLarkinson\'s Law:\n\tAll laws are basically false.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13203,30,'\nlaser, n.:\n\tFailed death ray.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13204,30,'\nLaura\'s Law:\n\tNo child throws up in the bathroom.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13205,30,'\nLaw of Communications:\n\tThe inevitable result of improved and enlarged communications\n\tbetween different levels in a hierarchy is a vastly increased\n\tarea of misunderstanding.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13206,30,'\nLaw of Continuity:\n\tExperiments should be reproducible.  They should all fail the same way.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13207,30,'\nLaw of Procrastination:\n\tProcrastination avoids boredom; one never has\n\tthe feeling that there is nothing important to do.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13208,30,'\nLaw of Selective Gravity:\n\tAn object will fall so as to do the most damage.\n\nJenning\'s Corollary:\n\tThe chance of the bread falling with the buttered side\n\tdown is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.\n\nLaw of the Perversity of Nature:\n\tYou cannot determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13209,30,'\nLaw of the Jungle:\n\tHe who hesitates is lunch.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13210,30,'\nLaws of Computer Programming:\n\t(1) Any given program, when running, is obsolete.\n\t(2) Any given program costs more and takes longer.\n\t(3) If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.\n\t(4) If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.\n\t(5) Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.\n\t(6) The value of a program is proportional the weight of its output.\n\t(7) Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of\n\t\tthe programmer who must maintain it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13211,30,'\nLaws of Serendipity:\n\t(1) In order to discover anything, you must be looking for something.\n\t(2) If you wish to make an improved product, you must already\n\t    be engaged in making an inferior one.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13212,30,'\nlawsuit, n.:\n\tA machine which you go into as a pig and come out as a sausage.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13213,30,'\nLawyer\'s Rule:\n\tWhen the law is against you, argue the facts.\n\tWhen the facts are against you, argue the law.\n\tWhen both are against you, call the other lawyer names.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13214,30,'\nLazlo\'s Chinese Relativity Axiom:\n\tNo matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats --\n\tapproximately one billion Chinese couldn\'t care less.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13215,30,'\nlearning curve, n.:\n\tAn astonishing new theory, discovered by management consultants\n\tin the 1970\'s, asserting that the more you do something the\n\tquicker you can do it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13216,30,'\nLee\'s Law:\n\tMother said there would be days like this,\n\tbut she never said that there\'d be so many!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13217,30,'\nLeibowitz\'s Rule:\n\tWhen hammering a nail, you will never hit your\n\tfinger if you hold the hammer with both hands.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13218,30,'\nLemma:  All horses are the same color.\nProof (by induction):\n\tCase n = 1: In a set with only one horse, it is obvious that all\n\thorses in that set are the same color.\n\tCase n = k: Suppose you have a set of k+1 horses.  Pull one of these\n\thorses out of the set, so that you have k horses.  Suppose that all\n\tof these horses are the same color.  Now put back the horse that you\n\ttook out, and pull out a different one.  Suppose that all of the k\n\thorses now in the set are the same color.  Then the set of k+1 horses\n\tare all the same color.  We have k true => k+1 true; therefore all\n\thorses are the same color.\nTheorem: All horses have an infinite number of legs.\nProof (by intimidation):\n\tEveryone would agree that all horses have an even number of legs.  It\n\tis also well-known that horses have forelegs in front and two legs in\n\tback.  4 + 2 = 6 legs, which is certainly an odd number of legs for a\n\thorse to have!  Now the only number that is both even and odd is\n\tinfinity; therefore all horses have an infinite number of legs.\n\tHowever, suppose that there is a horse somewhere that does not have an\n\tinfinite number of legs.  Well, that would be a horse of a different\n\tcolor; and by the Lemma, it doesn\'t exist.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13219,30,'\nleverage, n.:\n\tEven if someone doesn\'t care what the world thinks\n\tabout them, they always hope their mother doesn\'t find out.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13220,30,'\nLewis\'s Law of Travel:\n\tThe first piece of luggage out of the chute doesn\'t belong to anyone,\n\tever.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13221,30,'\nLiar, n.:\n\tA lawyer with a roving commission.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13222,30,'\nLiar:\n\tone who tells an unpleasant truth.\n\t\t-- Oliver Herford\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13223,30,'\nLie, n.:\n\tA very poor substitute for the truth, but the only one\n\tdiscovered to date.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13224,30,'\nLieberman\'s Law:\n\tEverybody lies, but it doesn\'t matter since nobody listens.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13225,30,'\nlife, n.:\n\tA whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13226,30,'\nlife, n.:\n\tLearning about people the hard way -- by being one.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13227,30,'\nlife, n.:\n\tThat brief interlude between nothingness and eternity.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13228,30,'\nlighthouse, n.:\n\tA tall building on the seashore in which the government\n\tmaintains a lamp and the friend of a politician.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13229,30,'\nlike:\n\tWhen being alive at the same time is a wonderful coincidence.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13230,30,'\nLinus\' Law:\n\tThere is no heavier burden than a great potential.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13231,30,'\nlisp, v.:\n\tTo call a spade a thpade.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13232,30,'\nLockwood\'s Long Shot:\n\tThe chances of getting eaten up by a lion on Main Street\n\taren\'t one in a million, but once would be enough.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13233,30,'\nlove,  n.:\n\tLove ties in a knot in the end of the rope.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13234,30,'\nlove, n.:\n\tWhen it\'s growing, you don\'t mind watering it with a few tears.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13235,30,'\nlove, n.:\n\tWhen you don\'t want someone too close--because you\'re very sensitive\n\tto pleasure.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13236,30,'\nlove, n.:\n\tWhen you like to think of someone on days that begin with a morning.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13237,30,'\nlove, n.:\n\tWhen, if asked to choose between your lover\n\tand happiness, you\'d skip happiness in a heartbeat.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13238,30,'\nlove, v.:\n\tI\'ll let you play with my life if you\'ll let me play with yours.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13239,30,'\nLowery\'s Law:\n\tIf it jams -- force it.  If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13240,30,'\nLubarsky\'s Law of Cybernetic Entomology:\n\tThere\'s always one more bug.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13241,30,'\nLunatic Asylum, n.:\n\tThe place where optimism most flourishes.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13242,30,'\nMachine-Independent, adj.:\n\tDoes not run on any existing machine.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13243,30,'\nMad, adj.:\n\tAffected with a high degree of intellectual independence ...\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13244,30,'\nMadison\'s Inquiry:\n\tIf you have to travel on the Titanic, why not go first class?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13245,30,'\nMAFIA, n:\n\t[Acronym for Mechanized Applications in Forced Insurance\nAccounting.] An extensive network with many on-line and offshore\nsubsystems running under OS, DOS, and IOS.  MAFIA documentation is\nrather scanty, and the MAFIA sales office exhibits that testy\nreluctance to bona fide inquiries which is the hallmark of so many DP\noperations.  From the little that has seeped out, it would appear that\nMAFIA operates under a non-standard protocol, OMERTA, a tight-lipped\nvariant of SNA, in which extended handshakes also perform complex\nsecurity functions.  The known timesharing aspects of MAFIA point to a\nmore than usually autocratic operating system.  Screen prompts carry an\nimperative, nonrefusable weighting (most menus offer simple YES/YES\noptions, defaulting to YES) that precludes indifference or delay.\nUniquely, all editing under MAFIA is performed centrally, using a\npowerful rubout feature capable of erasing files, filors, filees, and\nentire nodal aggravations.\n\t\t-- Stan Kelly-Bootle, \"The Devil\'s DP Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13246,30,'\nMagary\'s Principle:\n\tWhen there is a public outcry to cut deadwood and fat from any\n\tgovernment bureaucracy, it is the deadwood and the fat that do\n\tthe cutting, and the public\'s services are cut.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13247,30,'\nMagnet, n.:\n\tSomething acted upon by magnetism.\n\nMagnetism, n.:\n\tSomething acting upon a magnet.\n\nThe two definition immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of\none thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with\na great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13248,30,'\nMagnocartic, adj.:\n\tAny automobile that, when left unattended, attracts shopping carts.\n\t\t-- Sniglets, \"Rich Hall & Friends\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13249,30,'\nMagpie, n.:\n\tA bird whose theivish disposition suggested to someone that it\n\tmight be taught to talk.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13250,30,'\nMaier\'s Law:\n\tIf the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.\n\t\t-- N.R. Maier, \"American Psychologist\", March 1960\n\nCorollaries:\n\t(1) The bigger the theory, the better.\n\t(2) The experiment may be considered a success if no more than\n\t    50');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13251,30,' of the observed measurements must be discarded to\n\t    obtain a correspondence with the theory.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13252,30,'\nMain\'s Law:\n\tFor every action there is an equal and opposite government program.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13253,30,'\nMaintainer\'s Motto:\n\tIf we can\'t fix it, it ain\'t broke.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13254,30,'\nMajor premise:\n\tSixty men can do sixty times as much work as one man.\nMinor premise:\n\tA man can dig a posthole in sixty seconds.\nConclusion:\n\tSixty men can dig a posthole in one second.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n\nSecondary Conclusion:\n\tDo you realize how many holes there would be if people\n\twould just take the time to take the dirt out of them?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13255,30,'\nMajority, n.:\n\tThat quality that distinguishes a crime from a law.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13256,30,'\nMale, n.:\n\tA member of the unconsidered, or negligible sex.  The male of the\n\thuman race is commonly known to the female as Mere Man.  The genus\n\thas two varieties:  good providers and bad providers.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13257,30,'\nMalek\'s Law:\n\tAny simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13258,30,'\nmalpractice, n.:\n\tThe reason surgeons wear masks.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13259,30,'\nmanagement, n.:\n\tThe art of getting other people to do all the work.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13260,30,'\nmanic-depressive, adj.:\n\tEasy glum, easy glow.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13261,30,'\nManly\'s Maxim:\n\tLogic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion\n\twith confidence.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13262,30,'\nmanual, n.:\n\tA unit of documentation.  There are always three or more on a given\n\titem.  One is on the shelf; someone has the others.  The information\n\tyou need in in the others.\n\t\t-- Ray Simard\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13263,30,'\nMark\'s Dental-Chair Discovery:\n\tDentists are incapable of asking questions that require a\n\tsimple yes or no answer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13264,30,'\nmarriage, n.:\n\tAn old, established institution, entered into by two people deeply\n\tin love and desiring to make a committment to each other expressing\n\tthat love.  In short, committment to an institution.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13265,30,'\nmarriage, n.:\n\tConvertible bonds.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13266,30,'\nMarriage, n.:\n\tThe evil aye.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13267,30,'\nMarxist Law of Distribution of Wealth:\n\tShortages will be divided equally among the peasants.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13268,30,'\nMaryann\'s Law:\n\tYou can always find what you\'re not looking for.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13269,30,'\nMaslow\'s Maxim:\n\tIf the only tool you have is a hammer, you treat everything like \n\ta nail.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13270,30,'\nMason\'s First Law of Synergism:\n\tThe one day you\'d sell your soul for something, souls are a glut.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13271,30,'\nmathematician, n.:\n\tSome one who believes imaginary things appear right before your _\bi\'s.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13272,30,'\nMatz\'s Law:\n\tA conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13273,30,'\nMay\'s Law:\n\tThe quality of correlation is inversly proportional to the density\n\tof control.  (The fewer the data points, the smoother the curves.)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13274,30,'\nMcEwan\'s Rule of Relative Importance:\n\tWhen traveling with a herd of elephants, don\'t be the first to\n\tlie down and rest.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13275,30,'\nMcGowan\'s Madison Avenue Axiom:\n\tIf an item is advertised as \"under $50\", you can bet it\'s not $19.95.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13276,30,'\nMeade\'s Maxim:\n\tAlways remember that you are absolutely unique, just like everyone else.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13277,30,'\nMeader\'s Law:\n\tWhatever happens to you, it will previously\n\thave happened to everyone you know, only more so.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13278,30,'\nmeeting, n.:\n\tAn assembly of people coming together to decide what person or\n\tdepartment not represented in the room must solve a problem.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13279,30,'\nmeetings, n.:\n\tA place where minutes are kept and hours are lost.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13280,30,'\nmemo, n.:\n\tAn interoffice communication too often written more for the benefit\n\tof the person who sends it than the person who receives it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13281,30,'\nMencken and Nathan\'s Fifteenth Law of The Average American:\n\tThe worst actress in the company is always the manager\'s wife.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13282,30,'\nMencken and Nathan\'s Ninth Law of The Average American:\n\tThe quality of a champagne is judged by the amount of noise the\n\tcork makes when it is popped.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13283,30,'\nMencken and Nathan\'s Second Law of The Average American:\n\tAll the postmasters in small towns read all the postcards.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13284,30,'\nMencken and Nathan\'s Sixteenth Law of The Average American:\n\tMilking a cow is an operation demanding a special talent that\n\tis possessed only by yokels, and no person born in a large city can\n\tnever hope to acquire it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13285,30,'\nMenu, n.:\n\tA list of dishes which the restaurant has just run out of.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13286,30,'\nMeskimen\'s Law:\n\tThere\'s never time to do it right, but there\'s always time to\n\tdo it over.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13287,30,'\nmeterologist, n.:\n\tOne who doubts the established fact that it is\n\tbound to rain if you forget your umbrella.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13288,30,'\nmethionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylserylleucylphenylalanylalanylglutamin-\nylleucyllysylglutamylarginyllysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolyl-\nphenylalanylvalylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamylglu-\ntaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucylisoleucylglutamylalanyl-\nglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamylleucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylala-\nnylserylaspartylprolylleucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylgluta-\nminylasparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanylalanylalanylgly-\ncylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinylphenylalanylglutamylmethionyl-\nleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginylglutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleu-\ncylprolylisoleucylglycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylva-\nlylphenylalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamylphenylalanyltyro-\nsylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalylglycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleu-\ncylvalylalanylaspartylvalylprolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphe-\nnylalanylarginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginylvalylala-\nnylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolylprolylaspartylalanylas-\npartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginylglutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosyl-\nglycylarginylglycyltyrosylthreonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycyl-\nvalylthreonylglycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolylleu-\ncylasparaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysylglutamyltyrosylasparagi-\nnylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucylglutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylse-\nrylalanylprolylaspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanyl-\nglycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanylisoleucylvalylly-\nsylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidylasparaginylisoleucylglutamylpro-\nlylglutamyllysylmethionylleucylalanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalyl-\nglutaminylprolylmethionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine, n.:\n\tThe chemical name for tryptophan synthetase A protein, a\n\t1,913-letter enzyme with 267 amino acids.\n\t\t-- Mrs. Byrne\'s Dictionary of Unusual, Obscure, and\n\t\t   Preposterous Words\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13289,30,'\nMicro Credo:\n\tNever trust a computer bigger than you can lift.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13290,30,'\nmicro:\n\tThinker toys.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13291,30,'\nMiksch\'s Law:\n\tIf a string has one end, then it has another end.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13292,30,'\nMiller\'s Slogan:\n\tLose a few, lose a few.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13293,30,'\nmillihelen, n.:\n\tThe amount of beauty required to launch one ship.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13294,30,'\nMinicomputer:\n\tA computer that can be afforded on the budget of a middle-level manager.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13295,30,'\nMIPS:\n\tMeaningless Indicator of Processor Speed\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13296,30,'\nMisfortune, n.:\n\tThe kind of fortune that never misses.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13297,30,'\nMIT:\n\tThe Georgia Tech of the North\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13298,30,'\nMitchell\'s Law of Committees:\n\tAny simple problem can be made insoluble if enough meetings are\n\theld to discuss it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13299,30,'\nmittsquinter, adj.:\n\tA ballplayer who looks into his glove after missing the ball, as\n\tif, somehow, the cause of the error lies there.\n\t\t-- \"Sniglets\", Rich Hall & Friends\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13300,30,'\nMix\'s Law:\n\tThere is nothing more permanent than a temporary building.\n\tThere is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13301,30,'\nmixed emotions:\n\tWatching a bus-load of lawyers plunge off a cliff.\n\tWith five empty seats.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13302,30,'\nmixed emotions:\n\tWatching your mother-in-law back off a cliff...\n\tin your brand new Mercedes.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13303,30,'\nmodem, adj.:\n\tUp-to-date, new-fangled, as in \"Thoroughly Modem Millie.\"  An\n\tunfortunate byproduct of kerning.\n\n\t[That\'s sic!]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13304,30,'\nmodesty, n.:\n\tBeing comfortable that others will discover your greatness.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13305,30,'\nModesty:\n\tThe gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be\n\taware of it.\n\t\t-- Oliver Herford\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13306,30,'\nMolecule, n.:\n\tThe ultimate, indivisible unit of matter.  It is distinguished\n\tfrom the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a\n\tcloser resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of\n\tmatter ... The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and the\n\tatom in that it is an ion ...\n\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13307,30,'\nMollison\'s Bureaucracy Hypothesis:\n\tIf an idea can survive a bureaucratic review and be implemented\n\tit wasn\'t worth doing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13308,30,'\nmomentum, n.:\n\tWhat you give a person when they are going away.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13309,30,'\nMoon, n.:\n\t1. A celestial object whose phase is very important to hackers.  See \n\tPHASE OF THE MOON.  2. Dave Moon (MOON@MC).\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13310,30,'\nMoore\'s Constant:\n\tEverybody sets out to do something, and everybody\n\tdoes something, but no one does what he sets out to do.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13311,30,'\nmophobia, n.:\n\tFear of being verbally abused by a Mississippian.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13312,30,'\nMorton\'s Law:\n\tIf rats are experimented upon, they will develop cancer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13313,30,'\nMosher\'s Law of Software Engineering:\n\tDon\'t worry if it doesn\'t work right.  If everything did, you\'d\n\tbe out of a job.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13314,30,'\nMr. Cole\'s Axiom:\n\tThe sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the\n\tpopulation is growing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13315,30,'\nmummy, n.:\n\tAn Egyptian who was pressed for time.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13316,30,'\nMurphy\'s Law of Research:\n\tEnough research will tend to support your theory.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13317,30,'\nMurphy\'s Laws:\n\t(1) If anything can go wrong, it will.\n\t(2) Nothing is as easy as it looks.\n\t(3) Everything takes longer than you think it will.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13318,30,'\nMurray\'s Rule:\n\tAny country with \"democratic\" in the title isn\'t.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13319,30,'\nMustgo, n.:\n\tAny item of food that has been sitting in the refrigerator so\n\tlong it has become a science project.\n\t\t-- Sniglets, \"Rich Hall & Friends\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13320,30,'\nMy father taught me three things:\n\t(1) Never mix whiskey with anything but water.\n\t(2) Never try to draw to an inside straight.\n\t(3) Never discuss business with anyone who refuses to give his name.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13321,30,'\nNachman\'s Rule:\n\tWhen it comes to foreign food, the less authentic the better.\n\t\t-- Gerald Nachman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13322,30,'\nnarcolepulacyi, n.:\n\tThe contagious action of yawning, causing everyone in sight\n\tto also yawn.\n\t\t-- \"Sniglets\", Rich Hall & Friends\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13323,30,'\nnerd pack, n.:\n\tPlastic pouch worn in breast pocket to keep pens from soiling\n\tclothes.  Nerd\'s position in engineering hierarchy can be measured\n\tby number of pens, grease pencils, and rulers bristling\tin his pack.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13324,30,'\nneutron bomb, n.:\n\tAn explosive device of limited military value because, as\n\tit only destroys people without destroying property, it\n\tmust be used in conjunction with bombs that destroy property.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13325,30,'\nnew, adj.:\n\tDifferent color from previous model.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13326,30,'\nNewlan\'s Truism:\n\tAn \"acceptable\" level of unemployment means that the \n\tgovernment economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13327,30,'\nNewman\'s Discovery:\n\tYour best dreams may not come true; fortunately, neither will\n\tyour worst dreams.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13328,30,'\nNewton\'s Law of Gravitation:\n\tWhat goes up must come down.  But don\'t expect it to come down where\n\tyou can find it.  Murphy\'s Law applies to Newton\'s.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13329,30,'\nNewton\'s Little-Known Seventh Law:\n\tA bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13330,30,'\nNick the Greek\'s Law of Life:\n\tAll things considered, life is 9 to 5 against.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13331,30,'\nNinety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules:\n\tThe first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of\n\tthe time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13332,30,'\nno brainer:\n\tA decision which, viewed through the retrospectoscope,\n\tis \"obvious\" to those who failed to make it originally.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13333,30,'\nno maintenance:\n\tImpossible to fix.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13334,30,'\nnolo contendere:\n\tA legal term meaning: \"I didn\'t do it, judge, and I\'ll never do\n\tit again.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13335,30,'\nnominal egg:\n\tNew Yorkerese for expensive.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13336,30,'\nNon-Reciprocal Laws of Expectations:\n\tNegative expectations yield negative results.\n\tPositive expectations yield negative results.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13337,30,'\nNouvelle cuisine, n.:\n\tFrench for \"not enough food\".\n\nContinental breakfast, n.:\n\tEnglish for \"not enough food\".\n\nTapas, n.:\n\tSpanish for \"not enough food\".\n\nDim Sum, n.:\n\tChinese for more food than you\'ve ever seen in your entire life.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13338,30,'\nNovember, n.:\n\tThe eleventh twelfth of a weariness.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13339,30,'\nNovinson\'s Revolutionary Discovery:\n\tWhen comes the revolution, things will be different --\n\tnot better, just different.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13340,30,'\nNowlan\'s Theory:\n\tHe who hesitates is not only lost, but several miles from\n\tthe next freeway exit.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13341,30,'\nNusbaum\'s Rule:\n\tThe more pretentious the corporate name, the smaller the\n\torganization.  (For instance, the Murphy Center for the\n\tCodification of Human and Organizational Law, contrasted\n\tto IBM, GM, and AT&T.)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13342,30,'\nO\'Brian\'s Law:\n\tEverything is always done for the wrong reasons.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13343,30,'\nO\'Reilly\'s Law of the Kitchen:\n\tCleanliness is next to impossible\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13344,30,'\nO\'Toole\'s commentary on Murphy\'s Law:\n\tMurphy was an optimist.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13345,30,'\nOccam\'s eraser:\n\tThe philosophical principle that even the simplest\n\tsolution is bound to have something wrong with it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13346,30,'\nOffice Automation:\n\tThe use of computers to improve efficiency in the office\n\tby removing anyone you would want to talk with over coffee.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13347,30,'\nOfficial Project Stages:\n\t(1) Uncritical Acceptance\n\t(2) Wild Enthusiasm\n\t(3) Dejected Disillusionment\n\t(4) Total Confusion\n\t(5) Search for the Guilty\n\t(6) Punishment of the Innocent\n\t(7) Promotion of the Non-participants\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13348,30,'\nOgden\'s Law:\n\tThe sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13349,30,'\nOld Japanese proverb:\n\tThere are two kinds of fools -- those who never climb Mt. Fuji,\n\tand those who climb it twice.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13350,30,'\nOld timer, n.:\n\tOne who remembers when charity was a virtue and not an organization.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13351,30,'\nOliver\'s Law:\n\tExperience is something you don\'t get until just after you need it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13352,30,'\nOlmstead\'s Law:\n\tAfter all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13353,30,'\nomnibiblious, adj.:\n\tIndifferent to type of drink.  Ex: \"Oh, you can get me anything.\n\tI\'m omnibiblious.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13354,30,'\nOn ability:\n\tA dwarf is small, even if he stands on a mountain top;\n\ta colossus keeps his height, even if he stands in a well.\n\t\t-- Lucius Annaeus Seneca, 4BC - 65AD\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13355,30,'\nOn the subject of C program indentation:\n\t\"In My Egotistical Opinion, most people\'s C programs should be\n\tindented six feet downward and covered with dirt.\"\n\t\t-- Blair P. Houghton\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13356,30,'\nOn-line, adj.:\n\tThe idea that a human being should always be accessible to a computer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13357,30,'\nOnce, adv.:\n\tEnough.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13358,30,'\nOne Page Principle:\n\tA specification that will not fit on one page of 8.5x11 inch\n\tpaper cannot be understood.\n\t\t-- Mark Ardis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13359,30,'\n\"One size fits all\":\n\tDoesn\'t fit anyone.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13360,30,'\nOne-Shot Case Study, n.:\n\tThe scientific equivalent of the four-leaf clover, from which it is\n\tconcluded all clovers possess four leaves and are sometimes green.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13361,30,'\nOptimism, n.:\n\tThe belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, good,\n\tbad, and everything right that is wrong.  It is held with greatest\n\ttenacity by those accustomed to falling into adversity, and most\n\tacceptably expounded with the grin that apes a smile.  Being a blind\n\tfaith, it is inaccessible to the light of disproof -- an intellectual\n\tdisorder, yielding to no treatment but death.  It is hereditary, but\n\tnot contagious.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13362,30,'\noptimist, n.:\n\tA proponent of the belief that black is white.\n\n\tA pessimist asked God for relief.\n\t\"Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness,\" said God.\n\t\"No,\" replied the petitioner, \"I wish you to create something that\nwould justify them.\"\n\t\"The world is all created,\" said God, \"but you have overlooked\nsomething -- the mortality of the optimist.\"\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13363,30,'\noptimist, n:\n\tA bagpiper with a beeper.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13364,30,'\nOregano, n.:\n\tThe ancient Italian art of pizza folding.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13365,30,'\nOsborn\'s Law:\n\tVariables won\'t; constants aren\'t.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13366,30,'\nOzman\'s Laws:\n\t(1)  If someone says he will do something \"without fail,\" he won\'t.\n\t(2)  The more people talk on the phone, the less money they make.\n\t(3)  People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn\'t.\n\t(4)  Pizza always burns the roof of your mouth.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13367,30,'\npain, n.:\n\tOne thing, at least it proves that you\'re alive!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13368,30,'\nPainting, n.:\n\tThe art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and\n\texposing them to the critic.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13369,30,'\nPandora\'s Rule:\n\tNever open a box you didn\'t close.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13370,30,'\nPaprika Measure:\n\t2 dashes    ==  1smidgen\n\t2 smidgens  ==  1 pinch\n\t3 pinches   ==  1 soupcon\n\t2 soupcons  ==  2 much paprika\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13371,30,'\nparanoia, n.:\n\tA healthy understanding of the way the universe works.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13372,30,'\nPardo\'s First Postulate:\n\tAnything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.\n\nArnold\'s Addendum:\n\tEverything else causes cancer in rats.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13373,30,'\nParkinson\'s Fifth Law:\n\tIf there is a way to delay in important decision, the good\n\tbureaucracy, public or private, will find it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13374,30,'\nParkinson\'s Fourth Law:\n\tThe number of people in any working group tends to increase\n\tregardless of the amount of work to be done.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13375,30,'\nparty, n.:\n\tA gathering where you meet people who drink\n\tso much you can\'t even remember their names.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13376,30,'\nPascal Users:\n\tThe Pascal system will be replaced next Tuesday by Cobol.\n\tPlease modify your programs accordingly.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13377,30,'\nPascal Users:\n\tTo show respect for the 313th anniversary (tomorrow) of the\n\tdeath of Blaise Pascal, your programs will be run at half speed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13378,30,'\nPascal:\n\tA programming language named after a man who would turn over\n\tin his grave if he knew about it.\n\t\t-- Datamation, January 15, 1984\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13379,30,'\nPassword:\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13380,30,'\nPatageometry, n.:\n\tThe study of those mathematical properties that are invariant\n\tunder brain transplants.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13381,30,'\npatent:\n\tA method of publicizing inventions so others can copy them.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13382,30,'\nPaul\'s Law:\n\tIn America, it\'s not how much an item costs, it\'s how much you save.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13383,30,'\nPaul\'s Law:\n\tYou can\'t fall off the floor.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13384,30,'\npaycheck:\n\tThe weekly $5.27 that remains after deductions for federal\n\twithholding, state withholding, city withholding, FICA,\n\tmedical/dental, long-term disability, unemployment insurance,\n\tChristmas Club, and payroll savings plan contributions.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13385,30,'\nPeace, n.:\n\tIn international affairs, a period of cheating between two\n\tperiods of fighting.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13386,30,'\nPecor\'s Health-Food Principle:\n\tNever eat rutabaga on any day of the week that has a \"y\" in it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13387,30,'\nPedaeration, n.:\n\tThe perfect body heat achieved by having one leg under the\n\tsheet and one hanging off the edge of the bed.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13388,30,'\npediddel:\n\tA car with only one working headlight.\n\t\t-- \"Sniglets\", Rich Hall & Friends\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13389,30,'\nPeers\'s Law:\n\tThe solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13390,30,'\nPenguin Trivia #46:\n\tAnimals who are not penguins can only wish they were.\n\t\t-- Chicago Reader 10/15/82\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13391,30,'\npension:\n\tA federally insured chain letter.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13392,30,'\nPeople\'s Action Rules:\n\t(1) Some people who can, shouldn\'t.\n\t(2) Some people who should, won\'t.\n\t(3) Some people who shouldn\'t, will.\n\t(4) Some people who can\'t, will try, regardless.\n\t(5) Some people who shouldn\'t, but try, will then blame others.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13393,30,'\nperfect guest:\n\tOne who makes his host feel at home.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13394,30,'\nPerformance:\n\tA statement of the speed at which a computer system works.  Or\n\trather, might work under certain circumstances.  Or was rumored\n\tto be working over in Jersey about a month ago.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13395,30,'\npessimist:\n\tA man who spends all his time worrying about how he can keep the\n\twolf from the door.\n\noptimist:\n\tA man who refuses to see the wolf until he seizes the seat of\n\this pants.\n\nopportunist:\n\tA man who invites the wolf in and appears the next day in a fur coat.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13396,30,'\nPeter\'s Law of Substitution:\n\tLook after the molehills, and the\n\tmountains will look after themselves.\n\nPeter\'s Principle of Success:\n\tGet up one time more than you\'re knocked down.\n\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13397,30,'\nPeterson\'s Admonition:\n\tWhen you think you\'re going down for the third time --\n\tjust remember that you may have counted wrong.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13398,30,'\nPeterson\'s Rules:\n\t(1) Trucks that overturn on freeways are filled with something sticky.\n\t(2) No cute baby in a carriage is ever a girl when called one.\n\t(3) Things that tick are not always clocks.\n\t(4) Suicide only works when you\'re bluffing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13399,30,'\npetribar:\n\tAny sun-bleached prehistoric candy that has been sitting in\n\tthe window of a vending machine too long.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13400,30,'\n\tPhases of a Project:\n(1)\tExultation.\n(2)\tDisenchantment.\n(3)\tConfusion.\n(4)\tSearch for the Guilty.\n(5)\tPunishment for the Innocent.\n(6)\tDistinction for the Uninvolved.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13401,30,'\nphilosophy:\n\tThe ability to bear with calmness the misfortunes of our friends.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13402,30,'\nphilosophy:\n\tUnintelligible answers to insoluble problems.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13403,30,'\nphosflink:\n\tTo flick a bulb on and off when it burns out (as if, somehow, that\n\twill bring it back to life).\n\t\t-- \"Sniglets\", Rich Hall & Friends\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13404,30,'\nPickle\'s Law:\n\tIf Congress must do a painful thing,\n\tthe thing must be done in an odd-number year.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13405,30,'\npixel, n.:\n\tA mischievous, magical spirit associated with screen displays.\n\tThe computer industry has frequently borrowed from mythology:\n\tWitness the sprites in computer graphics, the demons in artificial\n\tintelligence, and the trolls in the marketing department.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13406,30,'\nPlease take note:\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13407,30,'\nPohl\'s law:\n\tNothing is so good that somebody, somewhere, will not hate it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13408,30,'\npoisoned coffee, n.:\n\tGrounds for divorce.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13409,30,'\npolitics, n.:\n\tA strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.\n\tThe conduct of public affairs for private advantage.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13410,30,'\nPollyanna\'s Educational Constant:\n\tThe hyperactive child is never absent.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13411,30,'\npolygon:\n\tDead parrot.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13412,30,'\nPoorman\'s Rule:\n\tWhen you pull a plastic garbage bag from its handy dispenser package,\n\tyou always get hold of the closed end and try to pull it open.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13413,30,'\nPortable, adj.:\n\tSurvives system reboot.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13414,30,'\nPositive, adj.:\n\tMistaken at the top of one\'s voice.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13415,30,'\npoverty, n.:\n\tAn unfortunate state that persists as long\n\tas anyone lacks anything he would like to have.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13416,30,'\nPower, n.:\n\tThe only narcotic regulated by the SEC instead of the FDA.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13417,30,'\nprairies, n.:\n\tVast plains covered by treeless forests.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13418,30,'\nPrejudice:\n\tA vagrant opinion without visible means of support.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13419,30,'\nPreudhomme\'s Law of Window Cleaning:\n\tIt\'s on the other side.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13420,30,'\nPrice\'s Advice:\n\tIt\'s all a game -- play it to have fun.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13421,30,'\nPriority:\n\tA statement of the importance of a user or a program.  Often\n\texpressed as a relative priority, indicating that the user doesn\'t\n\tcare when the work is completed so long as he is treated less\n\tbadly than someone else.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13422,30,'\nproblem drinker, n.:\n\tA man who never buys.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13423,30,'\nprogram, n.:\n\tA magic spell cast over a computer allowing it to turn one\'s input\n\tinto error messages.  tr.v. To engage in a pastime similar to banging\n\tone\'s head against a wall, but with fewer opportunities for reward.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13424,30,'\nprogram, n.:\n\tAny task that can\'t be completed in one telephone call or one\n\tday.  Once a task is defined as a program (\"training program,\"\n\t\"sales program,\" or \"marketing program\"), its implementation\n\talways justifies hiring at least three more people.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13425,30,'\nProgramming Department:\n\tMistakes made while you wait.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13426,30,'\nprogress, n.:\n\tMedieval man thought disease was caused by invisible demons\n\tinvading the body and taking possession of it.\n\n\tModern man knows disease is caused by microscopic bacteria\n\tand viruses invading the body and causing it to malfunction.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13427,30,'\nProof techniques #2: Proof by Oddity.\n\tSAMPLE: To prove that horses have an infinite number of legs.\n(1) Horses have an even number of legs.\n(2) They have two legs in back and fore legs in front.\n(3) This makes a total of six legs, which certainly is an odd number of\n    legs for a horse.\n(4) But the only number that is both odd and even is infinity. \n(5) Therefore, horses must have an infinite number of legs.\n\nTopics is be covered in future issues include proof by:\n\tIntimidation\n\tGesticulation (handwaving)\n\t\"Try it; it works\"\n\tConstipation (I was just sitting there and ...)\n\tBlatant assertion\n\tChanging all the 2\'s to _\bn\'s\n\tMutual consent\n\tLack of a counterexample, and\n\t\"It stands to reason\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13428,30,'\nprototype, n.:\n\tFirst stage in the life cycle of a computer product, followed by\n\tpre-alpha, alpha, beta, release version, corrected release version,\n\tupgrade, corrected upgrade, etc.  Unlike its successors, the\n\tprototype is not expected to work.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13429,30,'\nPryor\'s Observation:\n\tHow long you live has nothing to do \n\twith how long you are going to be dead.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13430,30,'\nPudder\'s Law:\n\tAnything that begins well will end badly.\n\t(Note: The converse of Pudder\'s law is not true.)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13431,30,'\npurpitation, n.:\n\tTo take something off the grocery shelf, decide you\n\tdon\'t want it, and then put it in another section.\n\t\t-- \"Sniglets\", Rich Hall & Friends\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13432,30,'\nPutt\'s Law:\n\tTechnology is dominated by two types of people:\n\t\tThose who understand what they do not manage.\n\t\tThose who manage what they do not understand.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13433,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t \"It\'s not the despair... I can stand the despair.  It\'s the hope.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13434,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"A child of 5 could understand this!  Fetch me a child of 5.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13435,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"A university faculty is 500 egotists with a common parking problem.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13436,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"Do you smell something burning or is it me?\"\n\t\t-- Joan of Arc\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13437,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"Don\'t let your mind wander -- it\'s too little to be let out alone.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13438,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"East is east... and let\'s keep it that way.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13439,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"Even the Statue of Liberty shaves her pits.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13440,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"Every morning I read the obituaries; if my name\'s not there,\n\tI go to work.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13441,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"Everything I am today I owe to people, whom it is now\n\tto late to punish.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13442,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"He eats like a bird... five times his own weight each day.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13443,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"He\'s on the same bus, but he\'s sure as hell got a different\n\tticket.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13444,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I ain\'t broke, but I\'m badly bent.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13445,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I am not sure what this is, but an \'F\' would only dignify it.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13446,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I don\'t think they could put him in a mental hospital.  On the\n\tother hand, if he were already in, I don\'t think they\'d let him out.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13447,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I drive my car quietly, for it goes without saying.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13448,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I haven\'t come far enough, and don\'t call me baby.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13449,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I may not be able to walk, but I drive from the sitting posistion.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13450,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I never met a man I couldn\'t drink handsome.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13451,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13452,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I sprinkled some baking powder over a couple of potatoes, but it\n\tdidn\'t work.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13453,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I thought I saw a unicorn on the way over, but it was just a\n\thorse with one of the horns broken off.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13454,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I tried buying a goat instead of a lawn tractor; had to return\n\tit though.  Couldn\'t figure out a way to connect the snow blower.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13455,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I used to be an idealist, but I got mugged by reality.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13456,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I used to be lost in the shuffle, now I just shuffle along with\n\tthe lost.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13457,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I used to get high on life but lately I\'ve built up a resistance.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13458,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I used to go to UCLA, but then my Dad got a job.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13459,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I used to jog, but the ice kept bouncing out of my glass.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13460,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I won\'t say he\'s untruthful, but his wife has to call the\n\tdog for dinner.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13461,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I\'d never marry a woman who didn\'t like pizza... I might play\n\tgolf with her, but I wouldn\'t marry her!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13462,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I\'ll listen to reason when it comes out on CD.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13463,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I\'m just a boy named \'su\'...\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13464,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I\'m not really for apathy, but I\'m not against it either...\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13465,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I\'m on a seafood diet -- I see food and I eat it.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13466,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I\'ve always wanted to work in the Federal Mint.  And then go on\n\tstrike.  To make less money.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13467,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I\'ve got one last thing to say before I go; give me back\n\tall of my stuff.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13468,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"I\'ve just learned about his illness.  Let\'s hope it\'s nothing\n\ttrivial.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13469,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"If he learns from his mistakes, pretty soon he\'ll know everything.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13470,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"If I could walk that way, I wouldn\'t need the cologne, now would I?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13471,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"If I\'m what I eat, I\'m a chocolate chip cookie.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13472,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"If you keep an open mind people will throw a lot of garbage in it.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13473,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"In the shopping mall of the mind, he\'s in the toy department.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13474,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"It seems to me that your antenna doesn\'t bring in too many\n\tstations anymore.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13475,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his\n\thands in his own pockets.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13476,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"It wouldn\'t have been anything, even if it were gonna be a thing.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13477,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"It\'s a cold bowl of chili, when love don\'t work out.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13478,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"It\'s been Monday all week today.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13479,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"It\'s been real and it\'s been fun, but it hasn\'t been real fun.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13480,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"It\'s hard to tell whether he has an ace up his sleeve or if\n\tthe ace is missing from his deck altogether.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13481,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"It\'s sort of a threat, you see.  I\'ve never been very good at\n\tthem myself, but I\'m told they can be very effective.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13482,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"Just how much can I get away with and still go to heaven?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13483,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"Lack of planning on your part doesn\'t consitute an emergency\n\ton my part.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13484,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"Like this rose, our love will wilt and die.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13485,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"My life is a soap opera, but who gets the movie rights?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13486,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"My shampoo lasts longer than my relationships.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13487,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"Of course it\'s the murder weapon.  Who would frame someone with\n\ta fake?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13488,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"Of course there\'s no reason for it, it\'s just our policy.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13489,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"Oh, no, no...  I\'m not beautiful.  Just very, very pretty.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13490,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"Our parents were never our age.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13491,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"Overweight is when you step on your dog\'s tail and it dies.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13492,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"Say, you look pretty athletic.  What say we put a pair of tennis\n\tshoes on you and run you into the wall?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13493,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"She\'s about as smart as bait.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13494,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"Sure, I turned down a drink once.  Didn\'t understand the question.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13495,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"The baby was so ugly they had to hang a pork chop around its\n\tneck to get the dog to play with it.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13496,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"The elder gods went to Suggoth and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13497,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"There may be no excuse for laziness, but I\'m sure looking.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13498,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"This is a one line proof... if we start sufficiently far to the\n\tleft.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13499,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"Unlucky?  If I bought a pumpkin farm, they\'d cancel Halloween.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13500,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"What do you mean, you had the dog fixed?   Just what made you\n\tthink he was broken!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13501,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"What I like most about myself is that I\'m so understanding\n\twhen I mess things up.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13502,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"What women and psychologists call `dropping your armor\', we call\n\t\"baring your neck.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13503,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"When she hauled ass, it took three trips.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13504,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"Who?  Me?  No, no, NO!!  But I do sell rugs.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13505,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"Wouldn\'t it be wonderful if real life supported control-Z?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13506,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"You want me to put *holes* in my ears and hang things from them?\n\tHow...  tribal.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13507,30,'\nQOTD:\n\t\"You\'re so dumb you don\'t even have wisdom teeth.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13508,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tAll I want is a little more than I\'ll ever get.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13509,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tAll I want is more than my fair share.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13510,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tFlash!  Flash!  I love you! ...but we only have fourteen hours to\n\tsave the earth!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13511,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tHow can I miss you if you won\'t go away?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13512,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tI looked out my window, and saw Kyle Pettys\' car upside down,\n\tthen I thought \'One of us is in real trouble\'.\n\t\t-- Davey Allison, on a 150 m.p.h. crash\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13513,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tI love your outfit, does it come in your size?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13514,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tI opened Pandora\'s box, let the cat out of the bag and put the\n\tball in their court.\n\t\t-- Hon. J. Hacker (The Ministry of Administrative Affairs)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13515,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tI\'m not a nerd -- I\'m \"socially challenged\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13516,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tI\'m not bald -- I\'m \"hair challenged\".\n\n\t[I thought that was \"differently haired\". Ed.]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13517,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tI\'ve heard about civil Engineers, but I\'ve never met one.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13518,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tIf it\'s too loud, you\'re too old.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13519,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tIf you\'re looking for trouble, I can offer you a wide selection.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13520,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tLudwig Boltzmann, who spend much of his life studying statistical\n\tmechanics died in 1906 by his own hand.  Paul Ehrenfest, carrying\n\ton the work, died similarly in 1933.  Now it is our turn.\n\t\t-- Goodstein, States of Matter \n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13521,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tMoney isn\'t everything, but at least it keeps the kids in touch.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13522,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tMy mother was the travel agent for guilt trips.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13523,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tOn a scale of 1 to 10 I\'d say...  oh, somewhere in there.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13524,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tSacred cows make great hamburgers.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13525,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tSilence is the only virtue he has left.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13526,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tSome people have one of those days.  I\'ve had one of those lives.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13527,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tTalent does what it can, genius what it must.\n\tI do what I get paid to do.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13528,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tTalk about willing people... over half of them are willing to work\n\tand the others are more than willing to watch them.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13529,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tThe forest may be quiet, but that doesn\'t mean\n\tthe snakes have gone away.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13530,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tThe only easy way to tell a hamster from a gerbil is that the\n\tgerbil has more dark meat.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13531,30,'\nQOTD:\n\tY\'know how s\'m people treat th\'r body like a TEMPLE?\n\tWell, I treat mine like \'n AMUSEMENT PARK...  S\'great...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13532,30,'\nQuality control, n.:\n\tAssuring that the quality of a product does not get out of hand\n\tand add to the cost of its manufacture or design.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13533,30,'\nQuality Control, n.:\n\tThe process of testing one out of every 1,000 units coming off\n\ta production line to make sure that at least one out of 100 works.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13534,30,'\nquark:\n\tThe sound made by a well bred duck.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13535,30,'\nQuigley\'s Law:\n\tWhoever has any authority over you, no matter how small, will\n\tatttempt to use it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13536,30,'\nQWERT (kwirt) n. [MW < OW qwertyuiop, a thirteenth]   1. a unit of weight\nequal to 13 poiuyt  avoirdupois  (or 1.69 kiloliks), commonly used in\nstructural engineering  2. [Colloq.] one thirteenth the load that a fully\ngrown sligo can carry.  3. [Anat.] a painful  irritation  of  the dermis\nin the region of the anus  4. [Slang] person who excites in others the\nsymptoms of a qwert.\n\t\t-- Webster\'s Middle World Dictionary, 4th ed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13537,30,'\nRalph\'s Observation:\n\tIt is a mistake to let any mechanical object realise that you\n\tare in a hurry.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13538,30,'\nRandom, n.:\n\tAs in number, predictable.  As in memory access, unpredictable.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13539,30,'\nRay\'s Rule of Precision:\n\tMeasure with a micrometer.  Mark with chalk.  Cut with an axe.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13540,30,'\nRe: Graphics:\n\tA picture is worth 10K words -- but only those to describe\n\tthe picture.  Hardly any sets of 10K words can be adequately\n\tdescribed with pictures.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13541,30,'\nReal Time, adj.:\n\tHere and now, as opposed to fake time, which only occurs there and then.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13542,30,'\nReal World, The, n.:\n\t1. In programming, those institutions at which programming may\nbe used in the same sentence as FORTRAN, COBOL, RPG, IBM, etc.  2. To\nprogrammers, the location of non-programmers and activities not related\nto programming.  3. A universe in which the standard dress is shirt and\ntie and in which a person\'s working hours are defined as 9 to 5.  4.\nThe location of the status quo.  5. Anywhere outside a university.\n\"Poor fellow, he\'s left MIT and gone into the real world.\"  Used\npejoratively by those not in residence there.  In conversation, talking\nof someone who has entered the real world is not unlike talking about a\ndeceased person.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13543,30,'\nReappraisal, n.:\n\tAn abrupt change of mind after being found out.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13544,30,'\nReception area, n.:\n\tThe purgatory where office visitors are condemned to spend\n\tinnumerable hours reading dog-eared back issues of trade\n\tmagazines like Modern Plastics, Chain Saw Age, and Chicken World,\n\twhile the receptionist blithely reads her own trade magazine --\n\tCosmopolitan.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13545,30,'\nRecursion n.:\n\tSee Recursion.\n\t\t-- Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13546,30,'\nReformed, n.:\n\tA synagogue that closes for the Jewish holidays.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13547,30,'\nRegression analysis:\n\tMathematical techniques for trying to understand why things are\n\tgetting worse.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13548,30,'\nReichel\'s Law:\n\tA body on vacation tends to remain on vacation unless acted upon by\n\tan outside force.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13549,30,'\nReisner\'s Rule of Conceptual Inertia:\n\tIf you think big enough, you\'ll never have to do it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13550,30,'\nReliable source, n.:\n\tThe guy you just met.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13551,30,'\nRenning\'s Maxim:\n\tMan is the highest animal.  Man does the classifying.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13552,30,'\nReporter, n.:\n\tA writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a\n\ttempest of words.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13553,30,'\nReputation, adj.:\n\tWhat others are not thinking about you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13554,30,'\nResearch, n.:\n\tConsider Columbus:\n\tHe didn\'t know where he was going.\n\tWhen he got there he didn\'t know where he was.\n\tWhen he got back he didn\'t know where he had been.\n\tAnd he did it all on someone else\'s money.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13555,30,'\nResponsibility:\n\tEveryone says that having power is a great responsibility.  This is\na lot of bunk.  Responsibility is when someone can blame you if something\ngoes wrong.  When you have power you are surrounded by people whose job it\nis to take the blame for your mistakes.  If they\'re smart, that is.\n\t\t-- Cerebus, \"On Governing\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13556,30,'\nRevolution, n.:\n\tA form of government abroad.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13557,30,'\nRevolution, n.:\n\tIn politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13558,30,'\nrevolutionary, adj.:\n\tRepackaged.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13559,30,'\nRhode\'s Law:\n\tWhen any principle, law, tenet, probability, happening, circumstance,\n\tor result can in no way be directly, indirectly, empirically, or\n\tcircuitously proven, derived, implied, inferred, induced, deducted,\n\testimated, or scientifically guessed, it will always for the purpose\n\tof convenience, expediency, political advantage, material gain, or\n\tpersonal comfort, or any combination of the above, or none of the\n\tabove, be unilaterally and unequivocally assumed, proclaimed, and\n\tadhered to as absolute truth to be undeniably, universally, immutably,\n\tand infinitely so, until such time as it becomes advantageous to\n\tassume otherwise, maybe.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13560,30,'\nRitchie\'s Rule:\n\t(1) Everything has some value -- if you use the right currency.\n\t(2) Paint splashes last longer than the paint job.\n\t(3) Search and ye shall find -- but make sure it was lost.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13561,30,'\nRobot, n.:\n\tUniversity administrator.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13562,30,'\nRobustness, adj.:\n\tNever having to say you\'re sorry.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13563,30,'\nRocky\'s Lemma of Innovation Prevention:\n\tUnless the results are known in advance, funding agencies will\n\treject the proposal.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13564,30,'\nRudd\'s Discovery:\n\tYou know that any senator or congressman could go home and make\n\t$300,000 to $400,000, but they don\'t.  Why?  Because they can\n\tstay in Washington and make it there.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13565,30,'\nRudin\'s Law:\n\tIf there is a wrong way to do something, most people will\n\tdo it every time.\n\nRudin\'s Second Law:\n\tIn a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative\n\tcourses of action, people tend to choose the worst possible\n\tcourse.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13566,30,'\nrugged, adj.:\n\tToo heavy to lift.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13567,30,'\nRule #1:\n\tThe Boss is always right.\n\nRule #2:\n\tIf the Boss is wrong, see Rule #1.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13568,30,'\nRule of Creative Research:\n\t(1) Never draw what you can copy.\n\t(2) Never copy what you can trace.\n\t(3) Never trace what you can cut out and paste down.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13569,30,'\nRule of Defactualization:\n\tInformation deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13570,30,'\nRule of Feline Frustration:\n\tWhen your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly\n\tcontent and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the\n\tbathroom.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13571,30,'\nRule of the Great:\n\tWhen people you greatly admire appear to be thinking deep\n\tthoughts, they probably are thinking about lunch.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13572,30,'\nRules for Academic Deans:\n\t(1)  HIDE!!!!\n\t(2)  If they find you, LIE!!!!\n\t\t-- Father Damian C. Fandal\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13573,30,'\nRules for driving in New York:\n\t(1) Anything done while honking your horn is legal.\n\t(2) You may park anywhere if you turn your four-way flashers on.\n\t(3) A red light means the next six cars may go through the\n\t    intersection.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13574,30,'\nRules for Writers:\n\tAvoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.  Don\'t use no double\nnegatives.  Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate;\nand never where it isn\'t.  Reserve the apostrophe for it\'s proper use and\nomit it when its not needed.  No sentence fragments. Avoid commas, that are\nunnecessary.  Eschew dialect, irregardless.  And don\'t start a sentence with\na conjunction.  Hyphenate between sy-llables and avoid un-necessary hyphens.\nWrite all adverbial forms correct.  Don\'t use contractions in formal writing.\nWriting carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.  It is incumbent on\nus to avoid archaisms.  Steer clear of incorrect forms of verbs that have\nsnuck in the language.  Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.  If I\'ve\ntold you once, I\'ve told you a thousand times, resist hyperbole.  Also,\navoid awkward or affected alliteration.  Don\'t string too many prepositional\nphrases together unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of\ndeath.  \"Avoid overuse of \'quotation \"marks.\"\'\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13575,30,'\nRune\'s Rule:\n\tIf you don\'t care where you are, you ain\'t lost.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13576,30,'\nRyan\'s Law:\n\tMake three correct guesses consecutively\n\tand you will establish yourself as an expert.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13577,30,'\nSacher\'s Observation:\n\tSome people grow with responsibility -- others merely swell.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13578,30,'\nSatellite Safety Tip #14:\n\tIf you see a bright streak in the sky coming at you, duck.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13579,30,'\nSattinger\'s Law:\n\tIt works better if you plug it in.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13580,30,'\nSavage\'s Law of Expediency:\n\tYou want it bad, you\'ll get it bad.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13581,30,'\nscenario, n.:\n\tAn imagined sequence of events that provides the context in\n\twhich a business decision is made.  Scenarios always come in\n\tsets of three: best case, worst case, and just in case.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13582,30,'\nSchapiro\'s Explanation:\n\tThe grass is always greener on the other side -- but that\'s\n\tbecause they use more manure.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13583,30,'\nSchlattwhapper, n.:\n\tThe window shade that allows itself to be pulled down,\n\thesitates for a second, then snaps up in your face.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13584,30,'\nSchmidt\'s Observation:\n\tAll things being equal, a fat person uses more soap\n\tthan a thin person.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13585,30,'\nScott\'s First Law:\n\tNo matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right.\n\nScott\'s Second Law:\n\tWhen an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found\n\tto have been wrong in the first place.\nCorollary:\n\tAfter the correction has been found in error, it will be\n\timpossible to fit the original quantity back into the\n\tequation.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13586,30,'\nscribline, n.:\n\tThe blank area on the back of credit cards where one\'s signature goes.\n\t\t-- \"Sniglets\", Rich Hall & Friends\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13587,30,'\nSecond Law of Business Meetings:\n\tIf there are two possible ways to spell a person\'s name, you\n\twill pick the wrong one.\n\nCorollary:\n\tIf there is only one way to spell a name,\n\tyou will spell it wrong, anyway.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13588,30,'\nSecond Law of Final Exams:\n\tIn your toughest final -- for the first time all year -- the most\n\tdistractingly attractive student in the class will sit next to you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13589,30,'\nSecretary\'s Revenge:\n\tFiling almost everything under \"the\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13590,30,'\nSeleznick\'s Theory of Holistic Medicine:\n\tIce Cream cures all ills.  Temporarily.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13591,30,'\nSelf Test for Paranoia:\n\tYou know you have it when you can\'t think of anything that\'s\n\tyour own fault.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13592,30,'\nSenate, n.:\n\tA body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and misdemeanors.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13593,30,'\nsenility, n.:\n\tThe state of mind of elderly persons with whom one happens to disagree.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13594,30,'\nserendipity, n.:\n\tThe process by which human knowledge is advanced.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13595,30,'\nSerocki\'s Stricture:\n\tMarriage is always a bachelor\'s last option.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13596,30,'\nShannon\'s Observation:\n\tNothing is so frustrating as a bad situation that is beginning to\n\timprove.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13597,30,'\nshare, n.:\n\tTo give in, endure humiliation.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13598,30,'\nShaw\'s Principle:\n\tBuild a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will\n\twant to use it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13599,30,'\nShedenhelm\'s Law:\n\tAll trails have more uphill sections than they have downhill sections.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13600,30,'\nShick\'s Law:\n\tThere is no problem a good miracle can\'t solve.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13601,30,'\nSilverman\'s Law:\n\tIf Murphy\'s Law can go wrong, it will.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13602,30,'\nSimon\'s Law:\n\tEverything put together falls apart sooner or later.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13603,30,'\nSkinner\'s Constant (or Flannagan\'s Finagling Factor):\n\tThat quantity which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to,\n\tor subtracted from the answer you got, gives you the answer you\n\tshould have gotten.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13604,30,'\nSlick\'s Three Laws of the Universe:\n\t(1)  Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.\n\t(2)  A quarter-ounce of chocolate = four pounds of fat.\n\t(3)  There are two types of dirt:  the dark kind, which is\n\t    attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is\n\t    attracted to dark objects.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13605,30,'\nSlous\' Contention:\n\tIf you do a job too well, you\'ll get stuck with it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13606,30,'\nSlurm, n.:\n\tThe slime that accumulates on the underside of a soap bar when\n\tit sits in the dish too long.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13607,30,'\nSnacktrek, n.:\n\tThe peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly\n\treturning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have\n\tmaterialized.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13608,30,'\nsnappy repartee:\n\tWhat you\'d say if you had another chance.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13609,30,'\nSodd\'s Second Law:\n\tSooner or later, the worst possible set of circumstances is\n\tbound to occur.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13610,30,'\nSoftware, n.:\n\tFormal evening attire for female computer analysts.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13611,30,'\nSome points to remember [about animals]:\n\t(1) Don\'t go to sleep under big animals, e.g., elephants, rhinoceri,\n\t    hippopotamuses;\n\t(2) Don\'t put animals with sharp teeth or poisonous fangs down the\n\t    front of your clothes;\n\t(3) Don\'t pat certain animals, e.g., crocodiles and scorpions or dogs\n\t    you have just kicked.\n\t\t-- Mike Harding, \"The Armchair Anarchist\'s Almanac\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13612,30,'\nspagmumps, n.:\n\tAny of the millions of Styrofoam wads that accompany mail-order items.\n\t\t-- \"Sniglets\", Rich Hall & Friends\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13613,30,'\nSpeer\'s 1st Law of Proofreading:\n\tThe visibility of an error is inversely proportional to the\n\tnumber of times you have looked at it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13614,30,'\nSpence\'s Admonition:\n\tNever stow away on a kamikaze plane.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13615,30,'\nSpirtle, n.:\n\tThe fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands right in your eye.\n\t\t-- Sniglets, \"Rich Hall & Friends\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13616,30,'\nSpouse, n.:\n\tSomeone who\'ll stand by you through all the trouble you\n\twouldn\'t have had if you\'d stayed single.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13617,30,'\nsquatcho, n.:\n\tThe button at the top of a baseball cap.\n\t\t-- \"Sniglets\", Rich Hall & Friends\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13618,30,'\nstandards, n.:\n\tThe principles we use to reject other people\'s code.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13619,30,'\nstatistics, n.:\n\tA system for expressing your political prejudices in convincing\n\tscientific guise.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13620,30,'\nSteckel\'s Rule to Success:\n\tGood enough is never good enough.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13621,30,'\nSteele\'s Law:\n\tThere exist tasks which cannot be done by more than ten men\n\tor fewer than one hundred.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13622,30,'\nSteele\'s Plagiarism of Somebody\'s Philosophy:\n\tEverybody should believe in something -- I believe I\'ll have\n\tanother drink.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13623,30,'\nSteinbach\'s Guideline for Systems Programming:\n\tNever test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13624,30,'\nStenderup\'s Law:\n\tThe sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13625,30,'\nStock\'s Observation:\n\tYou no sooner get your head above water but what someone pulls\n\tyour flippers off.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13626,30,'\nStone\'s Law:\n\tOne man\'s \"simple\" is another man\'s \"huh?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13627,30,'\nstrategy, n.:\n\tA comprehensive plan of inaction.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13628,30,'\nStrategy:\n\tA long-range plan whose merit cannot be evaluated until sometime\n\tafter those creating it have left the organization.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13629,30,'\nStult\'s Report:\n\tOur problems are mostly behind us.  What we have to do now is\n\tfight the solutions.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13630,30,'\nStupid, n.:\n\tLosing $25 on the game and $25 on the instant replay.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13631,30,'\nSturgeon\'s Law:\n\t90');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13632,30,' of everything is crud.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13633,30,'\nsugar daddy, n.:\n\tA man who can afford to raise cain.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13634,30,'\nSUN Microsystems:\n\tThe Network IS the Load Average.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13635,30,'\nsunset, n.:\n\tPronounced atmospheric scattering of shorter wavelengths,\n\tresulting in selective transmission below 650 nanometers with\n\tprogressively reducing solar elevation.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13636,30,'\nsushi, n.:\n\tWhen that-which-may-still-be-alive is put on top of rice and\n\tstrapped on with electrical tape.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13637,30,'\nSushido, n.:\n\tThe way of the tuna.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13638,30,'\nSwahili, n.:\n\tThe language used by the National Enquirer to print their retractions.\n\t\t-- Johnny Hart\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13639,30,'\nSweater, n.:\n\tA garment worn by a child when its mother feels chilly.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13640,30,'\nSwipple\'s Rule of Order:\n\tHe who shouts the loudest has the floor.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13641,30,'\nsystem-independent, adj.:\n\tWorks equally poorly on all systems.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13642,30,'\nT-shirt of the Day:\n\tHead for the Mountains\n\t\t-- courtesy Anheuser-Busch beer\n\nFollowup T-shirt of the Day (on the same scenic background):\n\tIf you liked the mountains, head for the Busch!\n\t\t-- courtesy someone else\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13643,30,'\nT-shirt Of The Day:\n\tI\'m the person your mother warned you about.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13644,30,'\nT-shirt:\n\tLife is *not* a Cabaret, and stop calling me chum!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13645,30,'\nTact, n.:\n\tThe unsaid part of what you\'re thinking.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13646,30,'\ntake forceful action:\n\tDo something that should have been done a long time ago.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13647,30,'\ntax office, n.:\n\tDen of inequity.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13648,30,'\nTaxes, n.:\n\tOf life\'s two certainties, the only one for which you can get\n\tan extension.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13649,30,'\ntaxidermist, n.:\n\tA man who mounts animals.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13650,30,'\nTCP/IP Slang Glossary, #1:\n\nGong, n: Medieval term for privy, or what pased for them in that era.\nToday used whimsically to describe the aftermath of a bogon attack. Think\nof our community as the Galapagos of the English language.\n\n\"Vogons may read you bad poetry, but bogons make you study obsolete RFCs.\"\n\t\t-- Dave Mills\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13651,30,'\nteamwork, n.:\n\tHaving someone to blame.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13652,30,'\nTechnicality, n.:\n\tIn an English court a man named Home was tried for slander in having\n\taccused a neighbor of murder.  His exact words were: \"Sir Thomas Holt\n\thath taken a cleaver and stricken his cook upon the head, so that one\n\tside of his head fell on one shoulder and the other side upon the\n\tother shoulder.\"  The defendant was acquitted by instruction of the\n\tcourt, the learned judges holding that the words did not charge murder,\n\tfor they did not affirm the death of the cook, that being only an\n\tinference.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13653,30,'\nTelephone, n.:\n\tAn invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages\n\tof making a disagreeable person keep his distance.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13654,30,'\ntelepression, n.:\n\tThe deep-seated guilt which stems from knowing that you did not try\n\thard enough to look up the number on your own and instead put the\n\tburden on the directory assistant.\n\t\t-- \"Sniglets\", Rich Hall & Friends\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13655,30,'\nTeutonic:\n\tNot enough gin.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13656,30,'\nThe 357.73 Theory:\n\tAuditors always reject expense accounts\n\twith a bottom line divisible by 5.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13657,30,'\nThe Abrams\' Principle:\n\tThe shortest distance between two points is off the wall.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13658,30,'\nThe Ancient Doctrine of Mind Over Matter:\n\tI don\'t mind... and you don\'t matter.\n\t\t-- As revealed to reporter G. Rivera by Swami Havabanana\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13659,30,'\nThe Beatles:\n\tPaul McCartney\'s old back-up band.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13660,30,'\nThe Briggs-Chase Law of Program Development:\n\tTo determine how long it will take to write and debug a\n\tprogram, take your best estimate, multiply that by two, add\n\tone, and convert to the next higher units.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13661,30,'\nThe Consultant\'s Curse:\n\tWhen the customer has beaten upon you long enough, give him\n\twhat he asks for, instead of what he needs.  This is very strong\n\tmedicine, and is normally only required once.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13662,30,'\nThe distinction between Jewish and goyish can be quite subtle, as the\nfollowing quote from Lenny Bruce illustrates:\n\n\t\"I\'m Jewish.  Count Basie\'s Jewish.  Ray Charles is Jewish.\nEddie Cantor\'s goyish.  The B\'nai Brith is goyish.  The Hadassah is\nJewish.  Marine Corps -- heavy goyish, dangerous.\n\n\t\"Kool-Aid is goyish.  All Drake\'s Cakes are goyish.\nPumpernickel is Jewish and, as you know, white bread is very goyish.\nInstant potatoes -- goyish.  Black cherry soda\'s very Jewish.\nMacaroons are ____\b\b\b\bvery Jewish.  Fruit salad is Jewish.  Lime Jell-O is\ngoyish.  Lime soda is ____\b\b\b\bvery goyish.  Trailer parks are so goyish that\nJews won\'t go near them ...\"\n\t\t-- Arthur Naiman, \"Every Goy\'s Guide to Yiddish\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13663,30,'\nThe Fifth Rule:\n\tYou have taken yourself too seriously.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13664,30,'\nThe First Rule of Program Optimization:\n\tDon\'t do it.\n\nThe Second Rule of Program Optimization (for experts only!):\n\tDon\'t do it yet.\n\t\t-- Michael Jackson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13665,30,'\nThe five rules of Socialism:\n\t(1) Don\'t think.\n\t(2) If you do think, don\'t speak.\n\t(3) If you think and speak, don\'t write.\n\t(4) If you think, speak and write, don\'t sign.\n\t(5) If you think, speak, write and sign, don\'t be surprised.\n\t\t-- being told in Poland, 1987\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13666,30,'\nThe Following Subsume All Physical and Human Laws:\n\t(1) You can\'t push on a string.\n\t(2) Ain\'t no free lunches.\n\t(3) Them as has, gets.\n\t(4) You can\'t win them all, but you sure as hell can lose them all.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13667,30,'\nThe Golden Rule of Arts and Sciences:\n\tHe who has the gold makes the rules.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13668,30,'\nThe Gordian Maxim:\n\tIf a string has one end, it has another.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13669,30,'\nThe Great Bald Swamp Hedgehog:\n\tThe Great Bald Swamp Hedgehog of Billericay displays, in courtship,\n\this single prickle and does impressions of Holiday Inn desk clerks.\n\tSince this means him standing motionless for enormous periods of\n\ttime he is often eaten in full display by The Great Bald Swamp\n\tHedgehog Eater.\n\t\t-- Mike Harding, \"The Armchair Anarchist\'s Almanac\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13670,30,'\nThe Heineken Uncertainty Principle:\n\tYou can never be sure how many beers you had last night.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13671,30,'\nThe history of warfare is similarly subdivided, although here the phases\nare Retribution, Anticipation, and Diplomacy.  Thus:\n\nRetribution:\n\tI\'m going to kill you because you killed my brother.\nAnticipation:\n\tI\'m going to kill you because I killed your brother.\nDiplomacy:\n\tI\'m going to kill my brother and then kill you on the\n\tpretext that your brother did it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13672,30,'\nThe Illiterati Programus Canto 1:\n\tA program is a lot like a nose: Sometimes it runs, and\n\tsometimes it blows.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13673,30,'\nThe Kennedy Constant:\n\tDon\'t get mad -- get even.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13674,30,'\nThe Law of the Letter:\n\tThe best way to inspire fresh thoughts is to seal the envelope.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13675,30,'\nThe Marines:\n\tThe few, the proud, the dead on the beach.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13676,30,'\nThe Marines:\n\tThe few, the proud, the not very bright.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13677,30,'\nThe Modelski Chain Rule:\n(1)\tLook intently at the problem for several minutes.  Scratch your\n\thead at 20-30 second intervals.  Try solving the problem on your\n\tHewlett-Packard.\n(2)\tFailing this, look around at the class.  Select a particularly\n\tbright-looking individual.\n(3)\tProcure a large chain.\n(4)\tWalk over to the selected student and threaten to beat him severely\n\twith the chain unless he gives you the answer to the problem.\n\tGenerally, he will.  It may also be a good idea to give him a sound\n\tthrashing anyway, just to show you mean business.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13678,30,'\nThe most dangerous organization in America today is:\n\t(a) The KKK\n\t(b) The American Nazi Party\n\t(c) The Delta Frequent Flyer Club\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13679,30,'\nThe Official MBA Handbook on business cards:\n\tAvoid overly pretentious job titles such as \"Lord of the Realm,\n\tDefender of the Faith, Emperor of India\" or \"Director of Corporate\n\tPlanning.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13680,30,'\nThe Official MBA Handbook on doing company business on an airplane:\n\tDo not work openly on top-secret company cost documents unless\n\tyou have previously ascertained that the passenger next to you\n\tis blind, a rock musician on mood-ameliorating drugs, or the\n\tunfortunate possessor of a forty-seventh chromosome.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13681,30,'\nThe Official MBA Handbook on the use of sunlamps:\n\tUse a sunlamp only on weekends.  That way, if the office wise guy\n\tremarks on the sudden appearance of your tan, you can fabricate\n\tsome story about a sun-stroked weekend at some island Shangri-La\n\tlike Caneel Bay.  Nothing is more transparent than leaving the\n\toffice at 11:45 on a Tuesday night, only to return an Aztec sun\n\tgod at 8:15 the next morning.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13682,30,'\nThe Phone Booth Rule:\n\tA lone dime always gets the number nearly right.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13683,30,'\nThe qotc (quote of the con) was Liz\'s:\n\t\"My brain is paged out to my liver.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13684,30,'\nThe real man\'s Bloody Mary:\n\tIngredients: vodka, tomato juice, Tobasco, Worcestershire \n\tsauce, A-1 steak sauce, ice, salt, pepper, celery.\n\n\tFill a large tumbler with vodka.\n\tThrow all the other ingredients away.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13685,30,'\nThe Roman Rule:\n\tThe one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the\n\tone who is doing it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13686,30,'\nThe rules:\n\t (1) Thou shalt not worship other computer systems.\n\t (2) Thou shalt not impersonate Liberace or eat watermelon while\n\t      sitting at the console keyboard.\n\t (3) Thou shalt not slap users on the face, nor staple their silly\n\t     little card decks together.\n\t (4) Thou shalt not get physically involved with the computer system,\n\t     especially if you\'re already married.\n\t (5) Thou shalt not use magnetic tapes as frisbees, nor use a disk\n\t     pack as a stool to reach another disk pack.\n\t (6) Thou shalt not stare at the blinking lights for more than one\n\t     eight hour shift.\n\t (7) Thou shalt not tell users that you accidentally destroyed their\n\t     files/backup just to see the look on their little faces.\n\t (8) Thou shalt not enjoy cancelling a job.\n\t (9) Thou shalt not display firearms in the computer room.\n\t(10) Thou shalt not push buttons \"just to see what happens\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13687,30,'\nThe Second Law of Thermodynamics:\n\tIf you think things are in a mess now, just wait!\n\t\t-- Jim Warner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13688,30,'\nThe Seventh Commandments for Technicians:\n\tWork thou not on energized equipment, for if thou dost, thy fellow\n\tworkers will surely buy beers for thy widow and console her in other\n\tways.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13689,30,'\nThe Sixth Commandment of Frisbee:\n\tThe greatest single aid to distance is for the disc to be going in a\n\tdirection you did not want.   (Goes the wrong way = Goes a long way.)\n\t\t-- Dan Roddick\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13690,30,'\nThe Third Law of Photography:\n\tIf you did manage to get any good shots, they will be ruined\n\twhen someone inadvertently opens the darkroom door and all of\n\tthe dark leaks out.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13691,30,'\nThe three biggest software lies:\n\t(1) *Of course* we\'ll give you a copy of the source.\n\t(2) *Of course* the third party vendor we bought that from\n\t    will fix the microcode.\n\t(3) Beta test site?  No, *of course* you\'re not a beta test site.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13692,30,'\nThe three laws of thermodynamics:\n\t(1) You can\'t get anything without working for it.\n\t(2) The most you can accomplish by working is to break even.\n\t(3) You can only break even at absolute zero.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13693,30,'\nTheorem: a cat has nine tails.\nProof:\n\tNo cat has eight tails. A cat has one tail more than no cat.\n\tTherefore, a cat has nine tails.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13694,30,'\nTheorem: All positive integers are equal.\nProof: Sufficient to show that for any two positive integers, A and B, A = B.\n\tFurther, it is sufficient to show that for all N > 0, if A and B\n\t(positive integers) satisfy (MAX(A, B) = N) then A = B.\n\nProceed by induction:\n\tIf N = 1, then A and B, being positive integers, must both be 1.\n\tSo A = B.\n\nAssume that the theorem is true for some value k.  Take A and B with\n\tMAX(A, B) = k+1.  Then  MAX((A-1), (B-1)) = k.  And hence\n\t(A-1) = (B-1).  Consequently, A = B.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13695,30,'\nTheory of Selective Supervision:\n\tThe one time in the day that you lean back and relax is\n\tthe one time the boss walks through the office.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13696,30,'\ntheory, n.:\n\tSystem of ideas meant to explain something, chosen with a view to\n\toriginality, controversialism, incomprehensibility, and how good\n\tit will look in print.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13697,30,'\nThere are three ways to get something done:\n\t(1) Do it yourself.\n\t(2) Hire someone to do it for you.\n\t(3) Forbid your kids to do it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13698,30,'\nThose lovable Brits department:\n\tThey also have trouble pronouncing `vitamin\'.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13699,30,'\nThree rules for sounding like an expert:\n\t(1) Oversimplify your explanations to the point of uselessness.\n\t(2) Always point out second-order effects, but never point out\n\t    when they can be ignored.\n\t(3) Come up with three rules of your own.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13700,30,'\nThyme\'s Law:\n\tEverything goes wrong at once.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13701,30,'\ntimesharing, n:\n\tAn access method whereby one computer abuses many people.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13702,30,'\nTip of the Day:\n\tNever fry bacon in the nude.\n\n\t[Correction: always fry bacon in the nude; you\'ll learn not to burn it]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13703,30,'\nTIPS FOR PERFORMERS:\n\tPlaying cards have the top half upside-down to help cheaters.\n\tThere are a finite number of jokes in the universe.\n\tSinging is a trick to get people to listen to music longer than\n\t\tthey would ordinarily.\n\tThere is no music in space.\n\tPeople will pay to watch people make sounds.\n\tEverything on stage should be larger than in real life.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13704,30,'\ntoday, n.:\n\tA nice place to visit, but you can\'t stay here for long.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13705,30,'\ntoilet toup\'\bee, n.:\n\tAny shag carpet that causes the lid to become top-heavy, thus\n\tcreating endless annoyance to male users.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13706,30,'\nToni\'s Solution to a Guilt-Free Life:\n\tIf you have to lie to someone, it\'s their fault.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13707,30,'\ntransfer, n.:\n\tA promotion you receive on the condition that you leave town.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13708,30,'\ntransparent, adj.:\n\tBeing or pertaining to an existing, nontangible object.\n\t\"It\'s there, but you can\'t see it\"\n\t\t-- IBM System/360 announcement, 1964.\n\nvirtual, adj.:\n\tBeing or pertaining to a tangible, nonexistent object.\n\t\"I can see it, but it\'s not there.\"\n\t\t-- Lady Macbeth.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13709,30,'\ntravel, n.:\n\tSomething that makes you feel like you\'re getting somewhere.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13710,30,'\n\"Trust me\":\n\tTranslation of the Latin \"caveat emptor.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13711,30,'\nTruthful, adj.:\n\tDumb and illiterate.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13712,30,'\nTsort\'s Constant:\n\t1.67563, or precisely 1,237.98712567 times the difference between\nthe distance to the sun and the weight of a small orange.\n\t\t-- Terry Pratchett, \"The Light Fantastic\" (slightly modified)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13713,30,'\nTurnaucka\'s Law:\n\tThe attention span of a computer is only as long as its\n\telectrical cord.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13714,30,'\nTussman\'s Law:\n\tNothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13715,30,'\nU.S. of A.:\n\t\"Don\'t speak to the bus driver.\"\nGermany:\n\t\"It is strictly forbidden for passengers to speak to the driver.\"\nEngland:\n\t\"You are requested to refrain from speaking to the driver.\"\nScotland:\n\t\"What have you got to gain by speaking to the driver?\"\nItaly:\n\t\"Don\'t answer the driver.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13716,30,'\nUdall\'s Fourth Law:\n\tAny change or reform you make is going to have consequences you\n\tdon\'t like.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13717,30,'\nUncle Ed\'s Rule of Thumb:\n\tNever use your thumb for a rule.\n\tYou\'ll either hit it with a hammer or get a splinter in it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13718,30,'\nUnderlying Principle of Socio-Genetics:\n\tSuperiority is recessive.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13719,30,'\nunderstand, v.:\n\tTo reach a point, in your investigation of some subject, at which\n\tyou cease to examine what is really present, and operate on the\n\tbasis of your own internal model instead.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13720,30,'\nUnfair animal names:\n\n-- tsetse fly\t\t\t-- bullhead\n-- booby\t\t\t-- duck-billed platypus\n-- sapsucker\t\t\t-- Clarence\n\t\t-- Gary Larson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13721,30,'\nunfair competition, n.:\n\tSelling cheaper than we do.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13722,30,'\nunion, n.:\n\tA dues-paying club workers wield to strike management.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13723,30,'\nUniverse, n.:\n\tThe problem.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13724,30,'\nUniversity, n.:\n\tLike a software house, except the software\'s free, and it\'s usable,\n\tand it works, and if it breaks they\'ll quickly tell you how to fix\n\tit, and ...\n\n\t[Okay, okay, I\'ll leave it in, but I think you\'re destroying\n\t the credibility of the entire fortune program.  Ed.]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13725,30,'\nUnnamed Law:\n\tIf it happens, it must be possible.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13726,30,'\nuntold wealth, n.:\n\tWhat you left out on April 15th.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13727,30,'\nUser n.:\n\tA programmer who will believe anything you tell him.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13728,30,'\nuser, n.:\n\tThe word computer professionals use when they mean \"idiot.\"\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Claw Your Way to the Top\"\n\n[I always thought \"computer professional\" was the phrase hackers used\n when they meant \"idiot.\"  Ed.]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13729,30,'\nvacation, n.:\n\tA two-week binge of rest and relaxation so intense that\n\tit takes another 50 weeks of your restrained workaday\n\tlife-style to recuperate.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13730,30,'\nVail\'s Second Axiom:\n\tThe amount of work to be done increases in proportion to the\n\tamount of work already completed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13731,30,'\nVan Roy\'s Law:\n\tAn unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13732,30,'\nVan Roy\'s Law:\n\tHonesty is the best policy - there\'s less competition.\n\nVan Roy\'s Truism:\n\tLife is a whole series of circumstances beyond your control.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13733,30,'\nVanilla, adj.:\n\tOrdinary flavor, standard.  See FLAVOR.  When used of food,\n\tvery often does not mean that the food is flavored with vanilla\n\textract!  For example, \"vanilla-flavored won ton soup\" (or simply\n\t\"vanilla won ton soup\") means ordinary won ton soup, as opposed to hot\n\tand sour won ton soup.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13734,30,'\nVelilind\'s Laws of Experimentation:\n\t(1) If reproducibility may be a problem, conduct the test only once.\n\t(2) If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data points.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13735,30,'\nViking, n.:\n\t1. Daring Scandinavian seafarers, explorers, adventurers,\n\tentrepreneurs world-famous for their aggressive, nautical import\n\tbusiness, highly leveraged takeovers and blue eyes.\n\t2. Bloodthirsty sea pirates who ravaged northern Europe beginning\n\tin the 9th century.\n\nHagar\'s note: The first definition is much preferred; the second is used\nonly by malcontents, the envious, and disgruntled owners of waterfront\nproperty.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13736,30,'\nVMS, n.:\n\tThe world\'s foremost multi-user adventure game.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13737,30,'\nvolcano, n.:\n\tA mountain with hiccups.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13738,30,'\nVolley Theory:\n\tIt is better to have lobbed and lost than never to have lobbed at all.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13739,30,'\nvuja de:\n\tThe feeling that you\'ve *never*, *ever* been in this situation before.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13740,30,'\nWalters\' Rule:\n\tAll airline flights depart from the gates most distant from\n\tthe center of the terminal.  Nobody ever had a reservation\n\ton a plane that left Gate 1.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13741,30,'\nWatson\'s Law:\n\tThe reliability of machinery is inversely proportional to the\n\tnumber and significance of any persons watching it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13742,30,'\n\"We\'ll look into it\":\n\tBy the time the wheels make a full turn, we\n\tassume you will have forgotten about it, too.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13743,30,'\nwe:\n\tThe single most important word in the world.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13744,30,'\nweapon, n.:\n\tAn index of the lack of development of a culture.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13745,30,'\nWedding, n:\n\tA ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes\n\tto become nothing and nothing undertakes to become supportable.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13746,30,'\nWeed\'s Axiom:\n\tNever ask two questions in a business letter.\n\tThe reply will discuss the one in which you are\n\tleast interested and say nothing about the other.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13747,30,'\nWeiler\'s Law:\n\tNothing is impossible for the man who doesn\'t have to do it himself.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13748,30,'\nWeinberg\'s First Law:\n\tProgress is only made on alternate Fridays.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13749,30,'\nWeinberg\'s Principle:\n\tAn expert is a person who avoids the small errors while\n\tsweeping on to the grand fallacy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13750,30,'\nWeinberg\'s Second Law:\n\tIf builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs,\n\tthen the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13751,30,'\nWeiner\'s Law of Libraries:\n\tThere are no answers, only cross references.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13752,30,'\nwell-adjusted, adj.:\n\tThe ability to play bridge or golf as if they were games.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13753,30,'\nWestheimer\'s Discovery:\n\tA couple of months in the laboratory can frequently save a\n\tcouple of hours in the library.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13754,30,'\nWhen asked the definition of \"pi\":\nThe Mathematician:\n\tPi is the number expressing the relationship between the\n\tcircumference of a circle and its diameter.\nThe Physicist:\n\tPi is 3.1415927, plus or minus 0.000000005.\nThe Engineer:\n\tPi is about 3.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13755,30,'\nWhistler\'s Law:\n\tYou never know who is right, but you always know who is in charge.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13756,30,'\nWhite\'s Statement:\n\tDon\'t lose heart!\n\nOwen\'s Commentary on White\'s Statement:\n\t...they might want to cut it out...\n\nByrd\'s Addition to Owen\'s Commentary:\n\t...and they want to avoid a lengthy search.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13757,30,'\nWhitehead\'s Law:\n\tThe obvious answer is always overlooked.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13758,30,'\nWiker\'s Law:\n\tGovernment expands to absorb revenue and then some.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13759,30,'\nWilcox\'s Law:\n\tA pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13760,30,'\n\t\tWilliam Safire\'s Rules for Writers:\n\nRemember to never split an infinitive.  The passive voice should never be\nused.  Do not put statements in the negative form.  Verbs have to agree with\ntheir subjects.  Proofread carefully to see if you words out.  If you reread\nyour work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be\navoided by rereading and editing.  A writer must not shift your point of\nview.  And don\'t start a sentence with a conjunction.  (Remember, too, a\npreposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.) Don\'t overuse\nexclamation marks!!  Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long\nsentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.  Writing carefully,\ndangling participles must be avoided.  If any word is improper at the end of\na sentence, a linking verb is.  Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing\nmetaphors.  Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.  Everyone should be\ncareful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.\nAlways pick on the correct idiom.  The adverb always follows the verb.  Last\nbut not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13761,30,'\nWilliams and Holland\'s Law:\n\tIf enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical\n\tmethods.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13762,30,'\nWilner\'s Observation:\n\tAll conversations with a potato should be conducted in private.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13763,30,'\nWit, n.:\n\tThe salt with which the American Humorist spoils his cookery\n\t... by leaving it out.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13764,30,'\nwok, n.:\n\tSomething to thwow at a wabbit.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13765,30,'\nwolf, n.:\n\tA man who knows all the ankles.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13766,30,'\nWombat\'s Laws of Computer Selection:\n\t(1) If it doesn\'t run Unix, forget it.\n\t(2) Any computer design over 10 years old is obsolete.\n\t(3) Anything made by IBM is junk. (See number 2)\n\t(4) The minimum acceptable CPU power for a single user is a\n\t    VAX/780 with a floating point accelerator.\n\t(5) Any computer with a mouse is worthless.\n\t\t-- Rich Kulawiec\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13767,30,'\nWoodward\'s Law:\n\tA theory is better than its explanation.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13768,30,'\nWoolsey-Swanson Rule:\n\tPeople would rather live with a problem they cannot\n\tsolve rather than accept a solution they cannot understand.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13769,30,'\nWork Rule: Leave of Absence (for an Operation):\n\tWe are no longer allowing this practice.  We wish to discourage any\nthoughts that you may not need all of whatever you have, and you should not\nconsider having anything removed.  We hired you as you are, and to have\nanything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13770,30,'\nwork, n.:\n\tThe blessed respite from screaming kids and\n\tsoap operas for which you actually get paid.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13771,30,'\nWorst Month of 1981 for Downhill Skiing:\n\tAugust.  The lift lines are the shortest, though.\n\t\t-- Steve Rubenstein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13772,30,'\nWorst Month of the Year:\n\tFebruary.  February has only 28 days in it, which means that if\n\tyou rent an apartment, you are paying for three full days you\n\tdon\'t get.  Try to avoid Februarys whenever possible.\n\t\t-- Steve Rubenstein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13773,30,'\nWorst Response To A Crisis, 1985:\n\tFrom a readers\' Q and A column in TV GUIDE: \"If we get involved\n\tin a nuclear war, would the electromagnetic pulses from exploding bombs\n\tdamage my videotapes?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13774,30,'\nWorst Vegetable of the Year:\n\tThe brussels sprout.  This is also the worst vegetable of next year.\n\t\t-- Steve Rubenstein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13775,30,'\nwrite-protect tab, n.:\n\tA small sticker created to cover the unsightly notch carelessly left\n\tby disk manufacturers.  The use of the tab creates an error message\n\tonce in a while, but its aesthetic value far outweighs the momentary\n\tinconvenience.\n\t\t-- Robb Russon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13776,30,'\nWYSIWYG:\n\tWhat You See Is What You Get.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13777,30,'\nXIIdigitation, n.:\n\tThe practice of trying to determine the year a movie was made\n\tby deciphering the Roman numerals at the end of the credits.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13778,30,'\nYear, n.:\n\tA period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13779,30,'\nYinkel, n.:\n\tA person who combs his hair over his bald spot, hoping no one\n\twill notice.\n\t\t-- Rich Hall, \"Sniglets\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13780,30,'\nyo-yo, n.:\n\tSomething that is occasionally up but normally down.\n\t(see also Computer).\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13781,30,'\nZall\'s Laws:\n\t(1) Any time you get a mouthful of hot soup, the next thing you do\n\t   will be wrong.\n\t(2) How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom\n\t   door you\'re on.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13782,30,'\nzeal, n.:\n\tQuality seen in new graduates -- if you\'re quick.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13783,30,'\nZero Defects, n.:\n\tThe result of shutting down a production line.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13784,30,'\nZymurgy\'s Law of Volunteer Labor:\n\tPeople are always available for work in the past tense.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13785,31,'1/2 oz. gin\n1/2 oz. vodka\n1/2 oz. rum (preferably dark)\n3/4 oz. tequilla\n1/2 oz. triple sec\n1/2 oz. orange juice\n3/4 oz. sour mix\n1/2 oz. cola\nshake with ice and strain into frosted glass.\n\t\tLong Island Iced Tea\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13786,31,'\n6 oz. orange juice\n1 oz. vodka\n1/2 oz. Galliano\n\t\tHarvey Wallbangers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13787,31,'\nA beer delayed is a beer denied.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13788,31,'\nA couple more shots of whiskey, women \'round here start looking good.\n\n\t\t[something about a 10 being a 4 after a six-pack?  Ed.]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13789,31,'\nA guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, carries it to the bathroom and dumps it\ninto a urinal.  Over the course of the next few hours, he goes back to the bar\nand repeats this sequence -- several times.  Finally the bartender got so\ncurious that he leaned over the bar and asked him what he was doing.\n\nReplied the customer, \"Avoiding the middleman.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13790,31,'\nA prohibitionist is the sort of man one wouldn\'t care to drink with\n-- even if he drank.\n\t\t-- H.L. Mencken\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13791,31,'\nAbsinthe makes the tart grow fonder.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13792,31,'\nAlcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.\n\t\t-- George Bernard Shaw\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13793,31,'\nAlcohol, hashish, prussic acid, strychnine are weak dilutions. The surest\npoison is time.\n\t\t-- Emerson, \"Society and Solitude\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13794,31,'\nAlcoholics Anonymous is when you get to drink under someone else\'s name.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13795,31,'\nAlways store beer in a dark place.\n\t\t-- Lazarus Long\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13796,31,'\nAn alcoholic is someone you don\'t like who drinks as much as you do.\n\t\t-- Dylan Thomas\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13797,31,'\nAnd you can\'t get any Watney\'s Red Barrel,\nbecause the bars close every time you\'re thirsty...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13798,31,'\n... at least I thought I was dancing, \'til somebody stepped on my hand.\n\t\t-- J. B. White\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13799,31,'\nBe wary of strong drink.  It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss.\n\t\t-- Lazarus Long, \"Time Enough for Love\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13800,31,'\nBecause the wine remembers.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13801,31,'\nBeer & Pretzels -- Breakfast of Champions.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13802,31,'\nBeer -- it\'s not just for breakfast anymore.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13803,31,'\nBeggar to well-dressed businessman:\n\t\"Could you spare $20.95 for a fifth of Chivas?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13804,31,'\nBest Beer: A panel of tasters assembled by the Consumer\'s Union in 1969\njudged Coors and Miller\'s High Life to be among the very best. Those who\ndoubt that beer is a serious subject might ponder its effect on American\nhistory. For example, New England\'s first colonists decided to drop anchor\nat Plymouth Rock instead of continuing on to Virginia because, as one of\nthem put it, \"We could not now take time for further consideration, our\nvictuals being spent and especially our beer.\"\n\t-- Felton & Fowler\'s Best, Worst & Most Unusual\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13805,31,'\nBooze is the answer.  I don\'t remember the question.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13806,31,'\nBrandy-and-water spoils two good things.\n\t\t-- Charles Lamb\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13807,31,'\nBut, officer, he\'s not drunk, I just saw his fingers twitch!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13808,31,'\nCerebus:\tI\'d love to lick apricot brandy out of your navel.\nJaka:\t\tLook, Cerebus-- Jaka has to tell you ... something\nCerebus:\tIf Cerebus had a navel, would you lick apricot brandy out of it?\nJaka:\t\tUgh!\nCerebus:\tYou don\'t like apricot brandy?\n\t\t-- Cerebus #6, \"The Secret\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13809,31,'\nClaret is the liquor for boys; port for men; but he who aspires to be a hero\n... must drink brandy.\n\t\t-- Samuel Johnson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13810,31,'\nClimbing onto a bar stool, a piece of string asked for a beer.\n\t\"Wait a minute.  Aren\'t you a string?\"\n\t\"Well, yes, I am.\"\n\t\"Sorry.  We don\'t serve strings here.\"\n\tThe determined string left the bar and stopped a passer-by.  \"Excuse,\nme,\" it said, \"would you shred my ends and tie me up like a pretzel?\"  The\npasser-by obliged, and the string re-entered the bar.  \"May I have a beer,\nplease?\" it asked the bartender.\n\tThe barkeep set a beer in front of the string, then suddenly stopped.\n\"Hey, aren\'t you the string I just threw out of here?\"\n\t\"No, I\'m a frayed knot.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13811,31,'\nCoach: Can I draw you a beer, Norm?\nNorm:  No, I know what they look like.  Just pour me one.\n\t\t-- Cheers, No Help Wanted\n\nCoach: How about a beer, Norm?\nNorm:  Hey I\'m high on life, Coach.  Of course, beer is my life.\n\t\t-- Cheers, No Help Wanted\n\nCoach: How\'s a beer sound, Norm?\nNorm:  I dunno.  I usually finish them before they get a word in.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Fortune and Men\'s Weights\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13812,31,'\nCoach: How\'s it going, Norm?\nNorm:  Daddy\'s rich and Momma\'s good lookin\'.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Truce or Consequences\n\nSam:   What\'s up, Norm?\nNorm:  My nipples.  It\'s freezing out there.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Coach Returns to Action\n\nCoach: What\'s the story, Norm?\nNorm:  Thirsty guy walks into a bar.  You finish it.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Endless Slumper\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13813,31,'\nCoach: What would you say to a beer, Normie?\nNorm:  Daddy wuvs you.\n\t\t-- Cheers, The Mail Goes to Jail\n\nSam:  What\'d you like, Normie?\nNorm: A reason to live.  Gimme another beer.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Behind Every Great Man\n\nSam:  What will you have, Norm?\nNorm: Well, I\'m in a gambling mood, Sammy.  I\'ll take a glass of whatever\n      comes out of that tap.\nSam:  Oh, looks like beer, Norm.\nNorm: Call me Mister Lucky.\n\t\t-- Cheers, The Executive\'s Executioner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13814,31,'\nCoach: What\'s up, Norm?\nNorm:  Corners of my mouth, Coach.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Fortune and Men\'s Weights\n\nCoach:  What\'s shaking, Norm?\nNorm:   All four cheeks and a couple of chins, Coach.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Snow Job\n\nCoach:  Beer, Normie?\nNorm:   Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week.  Eh, why not, I\'m still young.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Snow Job\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13815,31,'\nCome quickly, I am tasting stars!\n\t\t-- Dom Perignon, upon discovering champagne.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13816,31,'\nCome, landlord, fill the flowing bowl until it does run over,\nTonight we will all merry be -- tomorrow we\'ll get sober.\n\t\t-- John Fletcher, \"The Bloody Brother\", II, 2\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13817,31,'\nDon\'t drink when you drive -- you might hit a bump and spill it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13818,31,'\nDon\'t smoke the next cigarette.  Repeat.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13819,31,'\nDrink Canada Dry!  You might not succeed, but it *__\b\bis* fun trying.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13820,31,'\nDrinking coffee for instant relaxation?  That\'s like drinking alcohol for\ninstant motor skills.\n\t\t-- Marc Price\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13821,31,'\nDrinking is not a spectator sport.\n\t\t-- Jim Brosnan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13822,31,'\nDrinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin\nwith, that it\'s compounding a felony.\n\t\t-- Robert Benchley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13823,31,'\nDrunks are rarely amusing unless they know some good songs and lose a\nlot a poker.\n\t\t-- Karyl Roosevelt\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13824,31,'\nEggnog is a traditional holiday drink invented by the English.  Many\npeople wonder where the word \"eggnog\" comes from.  The first syllable\ncomes from the English word \"egg\", meaning \"egg\".  I don\'t know where\nthe \"nog\" comes from.\n\nTo make eggnog, you\'ll need rum, whiskey, wine gin and, if they are in\nseason, eggs...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13825,31,'\nELECTRIC JELL-O\n\n2   boxes JELL-O brand gelatin\t2 packages Knox brand unflavored gelatin\n2   cups fruit (any variety)\t2+ cups water\n1/2 bottle Everclear brand grain alcohol\n\nMix JELL-O and Knox gelatin into 2 cups of boiling water.  Stir \'til\n\tfully dissolved.\nPour hot mixture into a flat pan.  (JELL-O molds won\'t work.)\nStir in grain alcohol instead of usual cold water.  Remove any congealing\n\tglops of slime. (Alcohol has an unusual effect on excess JELL-O.)\nPour in fruit to desired taste, and to absorb any excess alcohol.\nMix in some cold water to dilute the alcohol and make it easier to eat for\n\tthe faint of heart.\nRefrigerate overnight to allow mixture to fully harden. (About 8-12 hours.)\nCut into squares and enjoy!\n\nWARNING:\n\tKeep ingredients away from open flame.  Not recommended for\n\tchildren under eight years of age.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13826,31,'\nEvery morning is a Smirnoff morning.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13827,31,'\nExcellent day for drinking heavily.  Spike the office water cooler.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13828,31,'\n\tFestivity Level 1: Your guests are chatting amiably with each\nother, admiring your Christmas-tree ornaments, singing carols around\nthe upright piano, sipping at their drinks and nibbling hors d\'oeuvres.\n\n\tFestivity Level 2: Your guests are talking loudly -- sometimes\nto each other, and sometimes to nobody at all, rearranging your\nChristmas-tree ornaments, singing \"I Gotta Be Me\" around the upright\npiano, gulping their drinks and wolfing down hors d\'oeuvres.\n\n\tFestivity Level 3: Your guests are arguing violently with\ninanimate objects, singing \"I can\'t get no satisfaction,\" gulping down\nother peoples\' drinks, wolfing down Christmas tree ornaments and\nplacing hors d\'oeuvres in the upright piano to see what happens when\nthe little hammers strike.\n\n\tFestivity Level 4: Your guests, hors d\'oeuvres smeared all over\ntheir naked bodies are performing a ritual dance around the burning\nChristmas tree.  The piano is missing.\n\n\tYou want to keep your party somewhere around level 3, unless\nyou rent your home and own Firearms, in which case you can go to level\n4.  The best way to get to level 3 is egg-nog.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13829,31,'\nFishing, with me, has always been an excuse to drink in the daytime.\n\t\t-- Jimmy Cannon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13830,31,'\nFortune finishes the great quotations, #17\n\n\t\"This bud of love, by summer\'s ripening breath,\n\tMay prove a beauteous flower when next we meet.\"\n\tJuliet, this bud\'s for you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13831,31,'\nFORTUNE\'S FAVORITE RECIPES: #8\n\tChristmas Rum Cake\n\n1 or 2 quarts rum\t\t1 tbsp. baking powder\n1 cup butter\t\t\t1 tsp. soda\n1 tsp. sugar\t\t\t1 tbsp. lemon juice\n2 large eggs\t\t\t2 cups brown sugar\n2 cups dried assorted fruit\t3 cups chopped English walnuts\n\nBefore you start, sample the rum to check for quality.  Good, isn\'t it?  Now\nselect a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc.  Check the rum again.  It\nmust be just right.  Be sure the rum is of the highest quality.  Pour one cup\nof rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can.  Repeat. With an electric\nmixer, beat one cup butter in a large fluffy bowl.  Add 1 seaspoon of tugar\nand beat again.  Meanwhile, make sure the rum teh absolutely highest quality.\nSample another cup.  Open second quart as necessary.  Add 2 orge laggs, 2 cups\nof fried druit and beat untill high.  If the fried druit gets stuck in the\nbeaters, just pry it loose with a screwdriver.  Sample the rum again, checking\nfor toncisticity.  Next sift 3 cups of baking powder, a pinch of rum, a\nseaspoon of toda and a cup of pepper or salt (it really doesn\'t matter).\nSample some more.  Sift 912 pint of lemon juice.  Fold in schopped butter and\nstrained chups.  Add bablespoon of brown gugar, or whatever color you have.\nMix mell.  Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 gredees and rake until\npoothtick comes out crean.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13832,31,'\nFORTUNE\'S PARTY TIPS\t\t#14\n\nTired of finding that other people are helping themselves to your good\nliquor at BYOB parties?  Take along a candle, which you insert and\nlight after you\'ve opened the bottle.  No one ever expects anything\ndrinkable to be in a bottle which has a candle stuck in its neck.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13833,31,'\nGlogg (a traditional Scandinavian holiday drink):\n\tfifth of dry red wine\n\tfifth of Aquavit\n\t1 and 1/2 inch piece of cinnamon\n\t10 cardamom seeds\n\t1 cup raisins\n\t4 dried figs\n\t1 cup blanched or flaked almonds\n\ta few pieces of dried orange peel\n\t5 cloves\n\t1/2 lb. sugar cubes\n\tHeat up the wine and hard stuff (which may be substituted with wine\nfor the faint of heart) in a big pot after adding all the other stuff EXCEPT\nthe sugar cubes.  Just when it reaches boiling, put the sugar in a wire\nstrainer, moisten it in the hot brew, lift it out and ignite it with a match.\nDip the sugar several times in the liquid until it is all dissolved.  Serve\nhot in cups with a few raisins and almonds in each cup.\n\tN.B. Aquavit may be hard to find and expensive to boot.  Use it only\nif you really have a deep-seated desire to be fussy, or if you are of Swedish\nextraction.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13834,31,'\nHalley\'s Comet: It came, we saw, we drank.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13835,31,'\nHarry\'s bar has a new cocktail.  It\'s called MRS punch.  They make it with\nmilk, rum and sugar and it\'s wonderful.  The milk is for vitality and the \nsugar is for pep.  They put in the rum so that people will know what to do\nwith all that pep and vitality.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13836,31,'\nHaving a wonderful wine, wish you were beer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13837,31,'\nHaving wandered helplessly into a blinding snowstorm Sam was greatly\nrelieved to see a sturdy Saint Bernard dog bounding toward him with\nthe traditional keg of brandy strapped to his collar.\n\t\"At last,\" cried Sam, \"man\'s best friend -- and a great big dog, too!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13838,31,'\nHe knew the tavernes well in every toun.\n\t\t-- Geoffrey Chaucer\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13839,31,'\nHe\'s just like Capistrano, always ready for a few swallows.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13840,31,'\n\"Hey!  Who took the cork off my lunch??!\"\n\t\t-- W. C. Fields\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13841,31,'\nHOGAN\'S HEROES DRINKING GAME --\n\tTake a shot every time:\n\n-- Sergeant Schultz says, \"I knoooooowww nooooothing!\"\n-- General Burkhalter or Major Hochstetter intimidate/insult Colonel Klink.\n-- Colonel Klink falls for Colonel Hogan\'s flattery.\n-- One of the prisoners sneaks out of camp (one shot for each prisoner to go).\n-- Colonel Klink snaps to attention after answering the phone (two shots\n\tif it\'s one of our heroes on the other end).\n-- One of the Germans is threatened with being sent to the Russian front.\n-- Corporal Newkirk calls up a German in his phoney German accent, and\n\ttricks him (two shots if it\'s Colonel Klink).\n-- Hogan has a romantic interlude with a beautiful girl from the underground.\n-- Colonel Klink relates how he\'s never had an escape from Stalag 13.\n-- Sergeant Schultz gives up a secret (two shots if he\'s bribed with food).\n-- The prisoners listen to the Germans\' conversation by a hidden transmitter.\n-- Sergeant Schultz \"captures\" one of the prisoners after an escape.\n-- Lebeau pronounces \"colonel\" as \"cuh-loh-`nell\".\n-- Carter builds some kind of device (two shots if it\'s not explosive).\n-- Lebeau wears his apron.\n-- Hogan says \"We\'ve got no choice\" when someone claims that the plan is\n\timpossible.\n-- The prisoners capture an important German, and sneak him out the tunnel.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13842,31,'\nI can\'t die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver.\n\t\t-- Phil Harris\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13843,31,'\nI distrust a man who says when.  If he\'s got to be careful not to drink\ntoo much, it\'s because he\'s not to be trusted when he does.\n\t\t-- Sidney Greenstreet, \"The Maltese Falcon\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13844,31,'\nI don\'t drink, I don\'t like it, it makes me feel too good.\n\t\t-- K. Coates\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13845,31,'\nI drink to make other people interesting.\n\t\t-- George Jean Nathan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13846,31,'\nI gave up Smoking, Drinking and Sex.  It was the most *__________\b\b\b\b\b\b\b\b\b\bhorrifying* 20\nminutes of my life!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13847,31,'\nI have just had eighteen whiskeys in a row.  I do believe that is a record.\n\t\t-- Dylan Thomas, his last words\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13848,31,'\nI have to think hard to name an interesting man who does not drink.\n\t\t-- Richard Burton\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13849,31,'\nI kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day.\nI haven\'t had time for tobacco since.\n\t\t-- Arturo Toscanini\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13850,31,'\nI may not be able to walk, but I drive from a sitting position.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13851,31,'\nI must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.\n\t\t-- Alexander Woolcott\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13852,31,'\nI never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers; what I said was all\nsaloonkeepers were Democrats.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13853,31,'\nI never take work home with me; I always leave it in some bar along the way.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13854,31,'\nI suppose that in a few hours I will sober up. That\'s such a sad\nthought. I think I\'ll have a few more drinks to prepare myself.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13855,31,'\nI used to have a drinking problem.  Now I love the stuff.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13856,31,'\nI will not drink!\nBut if I do...\nI will not get drunk!\nBut if I do...\nI will not in public!\nBut if I do...\nI will not fall down!\nBut if I do...\nI will fall face down so that they cannot see my company badge.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13857,31,'\nI wish you were a Scotch on the rocks.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13858,31,'\nI\'d like to meet the guy who invented beer and see what he\'s working on now.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13859,31,'\nI\'d rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.\n\t\t-- Fred Allen\n\n[Also attributed to S. Clay Wilson.  Ed.]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13860,31,'\nI\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol\nthat some thinkle peep I am.\nIt\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13861,31,'\nI\'ve always felt sorry for people that don\'t drink -- remember,\nwhen they wake up, that\'s as good as they\'re gonna feel all day!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13862,31,'\nI\'ve always made it a solemn practice to never drink anything stronger\nthan tequila before breakfast.\n\t\t-- R. Nesson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13863,31,'\nI\'ve never been drunk, but often I\'ve been overserved.\n\t\t-- George Gobel\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13864,31,'\nIf God had intended Man to Smoke, He would have set him on Fire.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13865,31,'\nIf God had intended Men to Smoke, He would have put Chimneys in their Heads.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13866,31,'\nIf I knew what brand [of whiskey] he drinks, I would send a barrel or\nso to my other generals.\n\t\t-- Abraham Lincoln, on General Grant\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13867,31,'\nIf people drank ink instead of Schlitz, they\'d be better off.\n\t\t-- Edward E. Hippensteel\n\n[What brand of ink?  Ed.]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13868,31,'\nIf you don\'t drink it, someone else will.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13869,31,'\nIf you drink, don\'t park.  Accidents make people.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13870,31,'\nIn 1967, the Soviet Government minted a beautiful silver ruble with Lenin\nin a very familiar pose -- arms raised above him, leading the country to\nrevolution.  But, it was clear to everybody, that if you looked at it from\nbehind, it was clear that Lenin was pointing to 11:00, when the Vodka\nshops opened, and was actually saying, \"Comrades, forward to the Vodka shops.\n\nIt became fashionable, when one wanted to have a drink, to take out the\nruble and say, \"Oh my goodness, Comrades, Lenin tells me we should go.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13871,31,'\nIn a bottle, the neck is always at the top.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13872,31,'\nIn a gathering of two or more people, when a lighted cigarette is\nplaced in an ashtray, the smoke will waft into the face of the non-smoker.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13873,31,'\nIn a whiskey it\'s age, in a cigarette it\'s taste and in a sports car\nit\'s impossible.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13874,31,'\nIn vino veritas.\n\t[In wine there is truth.]\n\t\t-- Pliny\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13875,31,'\nIt has been said that Public Relations is the art of winning friends\nand getting people under the influence.\n\t\t-- Jeremy Tunstall\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13876,31,'\nIt\'s a brave man who, when things are at their darkest, can kick back and party!\n\t\t-- Dennis Quaid, \"Inner Space\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13877,31,'\nIt\'s gonna be alright,\nIt\'s almost midnight,\nAnd I\'ve got two more bottles of wine.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13878,31,'\nIt\'s the same old story; boy meets beer, boy drinks beer... boy gets\nanother beer.\n\t\t-- Cheers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13879,31,'\nIt\'s useless to try to hold some people to anything they say while they\'re\nmadly in love, drunk, or running for office.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13880,31,'\nKeep America beautiful.  Swallow your beer cans.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13881,31,'\nKiss a non-smoker; taste the difference.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13882,31,'\nKissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13883,31,'\nLady Astor was giving a costume ball and Winston Churchill asked her what\ndisguise she would recommend for him.  She replied, \"Why don\'t you come\nsober, Mr. Prime Minister?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13884,31,'\nLet the worthy citizens of Chicago get their liquor the best way\nthey can. I\'m sick of the job.  It\'s a thankless one and full of grief.\n\t\t-- Al Capone\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13885,31,'\nLife, like beer, is merely borrowed.\n\t\t-- Don Reed\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13886,31,'\nLook at it this way: Your daughter just named the fresh turkey you brought\nhome \"Cuddles\", so you\'re going out to buy a canned ham.  And you\'re still\ndrinking ordinary scotch?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13887,31,'\nLook at it this way: Your wife\'s spending $280 a month on meditation lessons to\nforget $26,000 of college education. And you\'re still drinking ordinary scotch?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13888,31,'\nMarvin the Nature Lover spied a grasshopper hopping along in the grass,\nand in a mood for communing with nature, rare even among full-fledged\nNature Lovers, he spoke to the grasshopper, saying: \"Hello, friend\ngrasshopper.  Did you know they\'ve named a drink after you?\"\n\t\"Really?\" replied the grasshopper, obviously pleased.  \"They\'ve\nnamed a drink Fred?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13889,31,'\n\"Mind if I smoke?\"\n\t\"I don\'t care if you burst into flames and die!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13890,31,'\n\"Mind if I smoke?\"\n\t\"Yes, I\'d like to see that, does it come out of your ears or what?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13891,31,'\nMy mother drinks to forget she drinks.\n\t\t-- Crazy Jimmy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13892,31,'\nMy uncle was the town drunk -- and we lived in Chicago.\n\t\t-- George Gobel\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13893,31,'\nNever delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13894,31,'\nNever drink from your finger bowl -- it contains only water.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13895,31,'\nNo, I don\'t have a drinking problem.\n\nI drink, I get drunk, I fall down.\n\nNo problem!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13896,31,'\n[Norm comes in with an attractive woman.]\n\nCoach:  Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?\nNorm:   With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Norman\'s Conquest\n\nCoach:  What\'s up, Normie?\nNorm:   The temperature under my collar, Coach.\n\t\t-- Cheers, I\'ll Be Seeing You (Part 2)\n\nCoach:  What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?\nNorm:   Going down?\n\t\t-- Cheers, Diane Meets Mom\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13897,31,'\n[Norm goes into the bar at Vic\'s Bowl-A-Rama.]\n\nOff-screen crowd:  Norm!\nSam:   How the hell do they know him here?\nCliff: He\'s got a life, you know.\n\t\t-- Cheers, From Beer to Eternity\n\nWoody: What can I do for you, Mr. Peterson?\nNorm:  Elope with my wife.\n\t\t-- Cheers, The Triangle\n\nWoody: How\'s life, Mr. Peterson?\nNorm:  Oh, I\'m waiting for the movie.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Take My Shirt... Please?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13898,31,'\n[Norm is angry.]\n\nWoody: What can I get you, Mr. Peterson?\nNorm:  Clifford Clavin\'s head.\n\t\t-- Cheers, The Triangle\n\nSam:  Hey, what\'s happening, Norm?\nNorm: Well, it\'s a dog-eat-dog world, Sammy,\n      and I\'m wearing Milk-Bone underwear.\n\t\t-- Cheers, The Peterson Principle\n\nSam:  How\'s life in the fast lane, Normie?\nNorm: Beats me, I can\'t find the on-ramp.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Diane Chambers Day\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13899,31,'\n[Norm returns from the hospital.]\n\nCoach:  What\'s up, Norm?\nNorm:   Everything that\'s supposed to be.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Diane Meets Mom\n\nSam:  What\'s new, Normie?\nNorm: Terrorists, Sam.  They\'ve taken over my stomach.  They\'re demanding beer.\n\t\t-- Cheers, The Heart is a Lonely Snipehunter\n\nCoach: What\'ll it be, Normie?\nNorm:  Just the usual, Coach.  I\'ll have a froth of beer and a snorkel.\n\t\t-- Cheers, King of the Hill\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13900,31,'\n[Norm tries to prove that he is not Anton Kreitzer.]\nNorm:  Afternoon, everybody!\nAll:   Anton!\n\t\t-- Cheers, The Two Faces of Norm\n\nWoody: What\'s going on, Mr. Peterson?\nNorm:  A flashing sign in my gut that says, ``Insert beer here.\'\'\n\t\t-- Cheers, Call Me, Irresponsible\n\nSam:  What can I get you, Norm?\nNorm: [scratching his beard] Got any flea powder?  Ah, just kidding.\n      Gimme a beer; I think I\'ll just drown the little suckers.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Two Girls for Every Boyd\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13901,31,'\nNorm:  Gentlemen, start your taps.\n\t\t-- Cheers, The Coach\'s Daughter\n\nCoach: How\'s life treating you, Norm?\nNorm:  Like it caught me in bed with his wife.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Any Friend of Diane\'s\n\nCoach: How\'s life, Norm?\nNorm:  Not for the squeamish, Coach.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Friends, Romans, and Accountants\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13902,31,'\nNorm:  Hey, everybody.\nAll:   [silence; everybody is mad at Norm for being rich.]\nNorm:  [Carries on both sides of the conversation himself.]\n       Norm!   (Norman.)\n       How are you feeling today, Norm?\n       Rich and thirsty.  Pour me a beer.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Tan \'n Wash\n\nWoody: What\'s the latest, Mr. Peterson?\nNorm:  Zsa-Zsa marries a millionaire, Peterson drinks a beer.\n       Film at eleven.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Knights of the Scimitar\n\nWoody: How are you today, Mr. Peterson?\nNorm:  Never been better, Woody. ... Just once I\'d like to be better.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Chambers vs. Malone\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13903,31,'\nNot all men who drink are poets.  Some of us drink because we aren\'t poets.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13904,31,'\nNot drinking, chasing women, or doing drugs won\'t make you live longer --\nit just seems that way.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13905,31,'\nNOTICE:\n\tAnyone seen smoking will be assumed to be on fire and will\n\tbe summarily put out.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13906,31,'\nNow is the time for drinking; now the time to beat the earth with\nunfettered foot.\n\t\t-- Quintus Horatius Flaccus (Horace)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13907,31,'\nOf course power tools and alcohol don\'t mix.  Everyone knows power\ntools aren\'t soluble in alcohol...\n\t\t-- Crazy Nigel\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13908,31,'\nOld Grandad is dead but his spirits live on.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13909,31,'\nOnce ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were\nforced to live on nothing but food and water for days.\n\t\t-- W. C. Fields, \"My Little Chickadee\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13910,31,'\nOne difference between a man and a machine is that a machine is quiet\nwhen well oiled.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13911,31,'\nOne dusty July afternoon, somewhere around the turn of the century, Patrick\nMalone was in Mulcahey\'s Bar, bending an elbow with the other street car\nconductors from the Brooklyn Traction Company.  While they were discussing the\nmerits of a local ring hero, the bar goes silent.  Malone turns around to see\nhis wife, with a face grim as death, stalking to the bar.\n\tSlapping a four-bit piece down on the bar, she draws herself up to her\nfull five feet five inches and says to Mulcahey, \"Give me what himself has\nbeen havin\' all these years.\"\n\tMulcahey looks at Malone, who shrugs, and then back at Margaret Mary\nMalone.  He sets out a glass and pours her a triple shot of Rye.  The bar is\ntotally silent as they watch the woman pick up the glass and knock back the\ndrink.  She slams the glass down on the bar, gasps, shudders slightly, and\npasses out; falling straight back, stiff as a board, saved from sudden contact\nwith the barroom floor by the ample belly of Seamus Fogerty.\n\tSometime later, she comes to on the pool table, a jacket under her\nhead.  Her bloodshot eyes fell upon her husband, who says, \"And all these\nyears you\'ve been thinkin\' I\'ve been enjoying meself.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13912,31,'\nOnly Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups --\nalcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.\n\t\t-- Alex Levine\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13913,31,'\nPLEASE DON\'T SMOKE HERE!\n\nPenalty: An early, lingering death from cancer,\n\t emphysema, or other smoking-caused ailment.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13914,31,'\nPolice:\tGood evening, are you the host?\nHost:\tNo.\nPolice:\tWe\'ve been getting complaints about this party.\nHost:\tAbout the drugs?\nPolice:\tNo.\nHost:\tAbout the guns, then?  Is somebody complaining about the guns?\nPolice:\tNo, the noise.\nHost:\tOh, the noise.  Well that makes sense because there are no guns\n\tor drugs here.  (An enormous explosion is heard in the\n\tbackground.)  Or fireworks.  Who\'s complaining about the noise?\n\tThe neighbors?\nPolice:\tNo, the neighbors fled inland hours ago.  Most of the recent\n\tcomplaints have come from Pittsburgh.  Do you think you could\n\task the host to quiet things down?\nHost:\tNo Problem.  (At this point, a Volkswagon bug with primitive\n\treligious symbols drawn on the doors emerges from the living\n\troom and roars down the hall, past the police and onto the\n\tlawn, where it smashes into a tree.  Eight guests tumble out\n\tonto the grass, moaning.)  See?  Things are starting to wind\n\tdown.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13915,31,'\nPreserve Wildlife!  Throw a party today!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13916,31,'\nRecipe for a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster:\n\t(1) Take the juice from one bottle of Ol\' Janx Spirit\n\t(2) Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of\n\t\tSantraginus V  (Oh, those Santraginean fish!)\n\t(3) Allow 3 cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the\n\t\tmixture (properly iced or the benzine is lost.)\n\t(4) Allow four liters of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it.\n\t(5) Over the back of a silver spoon, float a measure of\n\t\tQualactin Hypermint extract.\n\t(6) Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger.  Watch it dissolve.\n\t(7) Sprinkle Zamphuor.\n\t(8) Add an olive.\n\t(9) Drink... but... very carefully...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13917,31,'\nRiffle West Virginia is so small that the Boy Scout had to double as the\ntown drunk.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13918,31,'\nRomance, like alcohol, should be enjoyed, but should not be allowed to\nbecome necessary.\n\t\t-- Edgar Friedenberg\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13919,31,'\nSaid the attractive, cigar-smoking housewife to her girl-friend: \"I got\nstarted one night when George came home and found one burning in the ashtray.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13920,31,'\nSam:   What do you know there, Norm?\nNorm:  How to sit.  How to drink.  Want to quiz me?\n\t\t-- Cheers, Loverboyd\n\nSam:   Hey, how\'s life treating you there, Norm?\nNorm:  Beats me. ...  Then it kicks me and leaves me for dead.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Loverboyd\n\nWoody: How would a beer feel, Mr. Peterson?\nNorm:  Pretty nervous if I was in the room.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Loverboyd\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13921,31,'\nSam:   What\'s the good word, Norm?\nNorm:  Plop, plop, fizz, fizz.\nSam:   Oh no, not the Hungry Heifer...\nNorm:  Yeah, yeah, yeah...\nSam:   One heartburn cocktail coming up.\n\t\t-- Cheers, I\'ll Gladly Pay You Tuesday\n\nSam:   Whaddya say, Norm?\nNorm:  Well, I never met a beer I didn\'t drink.  And down it goes.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Love Thy Neighbor\n\nWoody:  What\'s your pleasure, Mr. Peterson?\nNorm:   Boxer shorts and loose shoes.  But I\'ll settle for a beer.\n\t\t-- Cheers, The Bar Stoolie\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13922,31,'\nSam:  What do you say, Norm?\nNorm: Any cheap, tawdry thing that\'ll get me a beer.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Birth, Death, Love and Rice\n\nSam:  What do you say to a beer, Normie?\nNorm: Hiya, sailor.  New in town?\n\t\t-- Cheers, Woody Goes Belly Up\n\nNorm: [coming in from the rain] Evening, everybody.\nAll:  Norm!  (Norman.)\nSam:  Still pouring, Norm?\nNorm: That\'s funny, I was about to ask you the same thing.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Diane\'s Nightmare\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13923,31,'\nSam:  What\'s going on, Normie?\nNorm: My birthday, Sammy.  Give me a beer, stick a candle in\n      it, and I\'ll blow out my liver.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Where Have All the Floorboards Gone\n\nWoody: Hey, Mr. P.  How goes the search for Mr. Clavin?\nNorm:  Not as well as the search for Mr. Donut.\n       Found him every couple of blocks.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Head Over Hill\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13924,31,'\nSam:  What\'s new, Norm?\nNorm: Most of my wife.\n\t\t-- Cheers, The Spy Who Came in for a Cold One\n\nCoach: Beer, Norm?\nNorm:  Naah, I\'d probably just drink it.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Now Pitching, Sam Malone\n\nCoach: What\'s doing, Norm?\nNorm:  Well, science is seeking a cure for thirst.  I happen\n       to be the guinea pig.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Let Me Count the Ways\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13925,31,'\nShow respect for age.  Drink good Scotch for a change.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13926,31,'\nSleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.\n\t\t-- W.C. Fields\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13927,31,'\nSMOKING IS NOW ALLOWED !!!\n\tAnyone wishing to smoke, however, must file, in triplicate, the\n\tU.S. government Environmental Impact Narrative Statement (EINS),\n\tdescribing in detail the type of combustion proposed, impact on\n\tthe environment, and anticipated opposition.  Statements must be\n\tfiled 30 days in advance.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13928,31,'\nSmoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.\n\t\t-- Fletcher Knebel\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13929,31,'\nSmoking is, as far as I\'m concerned, the entire point of being an adult.\n\t\t-- Fran Lebowitz\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13930,31,'\nSmoking Prohibited.  Absolutely no ifs, ands, or butts.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13931,31,'\nSo, is the glass half empty, half full, or just twice as\nlarge as it needs to be?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13932,31,'\nSome people have no respect for age unless it\'s bottled.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13933,31,'\nSometimes I simply feel that the whole world is a cigarette and I\'m the\nonly ashtray.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13934,31,'\n\tSplit\t\t1/4 bottle\t.187 liters\n\tHalf\t\t1/2 bottle\n\tBottle\t\t750 milliliters\n\tMagnum\t\t2 bottles\t1.5 liters\n\tJeroboam\t4 bottles\n\tRehoboam\t6 bottles\tNot available in the US\n\tMethuselah\t8 bottles\n\tSalmanazar\t12 bottles\n\tBalthazar\t16 bottles\n\tNebuchadnezzar\t20 bottles\t15 liters\n\tSovereign\t34 bottles\t26 liters\n\n\tThe Sovereign is a new bottle, made for the launching of the\nlargest cruise ship in the world.  The bottle alone cost 8,000 dollars\nto produce and they only made 8 of them.\n\tMost of the funny names come from Biblical people.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13935,31,'\nSymptom:\t\tDrinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, beer is\n\t\t\tunusually pale and clear.\nProblem:\t\tGlass empty.\nAction Required:\tFind someone who will buy you another beer.\n\nSymptom:\t\tDrinking fails to give taste and satisfaction,\n\t\t\tand the front of your shirt is wet.\nFault:\t\t\tMouth not open when drinking or glass applied to\n\t\t\twrong part of face.\nAction Required:\tBuy another beer and practice in front of mirror.\n\t\t\tDrink as many as needed to perfect drinking technique.\n\t\t-- Bar Troubleshooting\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13936,31,'\nSymptom:\t\tEverything has gone dark.\nFault:\t\t\tThe Bar is closing.\nAction Required:\tPanic.\n\nSymptom:\t\tYou awaken to find your bed hard, cold and wet.\n\t\t\tYou cannot see the bathroom light.\nFault:\t\t\tYou have spent the night in the gutter.\nAction Required:\tCheck your watch to see if bars are open yet.  If not,\n\t\t\ttreat yourself to a lie-in.\n\t\t-- Bar Troubleshooting\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13937,31,'\nSymptom:\t\tFeet cold and wet, glass empty.\nFault:\t\t\tGlass being held at incorrect angle.\nAction Required:\tTurn glass other way up so that open end points\n\t\t\ttoward ceiling.\n\nSymptom:\t\tFeet warm and wet.\nFault:\t\t\tImproper bladder control.\nAction Required:\tGo stand next to nearest dog.  After a while complain\n\t\t\tto the owner about its lack of house training and\n\t\t\tdemand a beer as compensation.\n\t\t-- Bar Troubleshooting\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13938,31,'\nSymptom:\t\tFloor blurred.\nFault:\t\t\tYou are looking through bottom of empty glass.\nAction Required:\tFind someone who will buy you another beer.\n\nSymptom:\t\tFloor moving.\nFault:\t\t\tYou are being carried out.\nAction Required:\tFind out if you are taken to another bar.  If not,\n\t\t\tcomplain loudly that you are being kidnapped.\n\t\t-- Bar Troubleshooting\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13939,31,'\nSymptom:\t\tFloor swaying.\nFault:\t\t\tExcessive air turbulence, perhaps due to air-hockey\n\t\t\tgame in progress.\nAction Required:\tInsert broom handle down back of jacket.\n\nSymptom:\t\tEverything has gone dim, strange taste of peanuts\n\t\t\tand pretzels or cigarette butts in mouth.\nFault:\t\t\tYou have fallen forward.\nAction Required:\tSee above.\n\nSymptom:\t\tOpposite wall covered with acoustic tile and several\n\t\t\tflourescent light strips.\nFault:\t\t\tYou have fallen over backward.\nAction Required:\tIf your glass is full and no one is standing on your\n\t\t\tdrinking arm, stay put.  If not, get someone to help\n\t\t\tyou get up, lash yourself to bar.\n\t\t-- Bar Troubleshooting\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13940,31,'\nTake me drunk, I\'m home again!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13941,31,'\nThe best audience is intelligent, well-educated and a little drunk.\n\t\t-- Maurice Baring\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13942,31,'\nThe best way to preserve a right is to exercise it, and the right to\nsmoke is a right worth dying for.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13943,31,'\nThe Celts invented two things, Whiskey and self-destruction.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13944,31,'\nThe church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I will\nwalk carefully.\n\t\t-- Russian Proverb\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13945,31,'\nThe cost of living has just gone up another dollar a quart.\n\t\t-- W.C. Fields\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13946,31,'\nThe father, passing through his son\'s college town late one evening on a\nbusiness trip, thought he would pay his boy a suprise visit.  Arriving at the\nlad\'s fraternity house, dad rapped loudly on the door.  After several minutes\nof knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second-floor window,\n\t\"Whaddaya want?\"\n\t\"Does Ramsey Duncan live here?\" asked the father.\n\t\"Yeah,\" replied the voice.  \"Dump him on the front porch.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13947,31,'\nThe mark of a good party is that you wake up the next morning wanting to\nchange your name and start a new life in different city.\n\t\t-- Vance Bourjaily, \"Esquire\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13948,31,'\nThe search for the perfect martini is a fraud.  The perfect martini is\na belt of gin from the bottle; anything else is the decadent trappings\nof civilization.\n\t\t-- T.K.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13949,31,'\nThe telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer\nthem a drink.\n\t\t-- Fran Lebowitz, \"Interview\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13950,31,'\nThe verdict of a jury is the a priori opinion of that juror who smokes\nthe worst cigars.\n\t\t-- H. L. Mencken\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13951,31,'\nThe voluptuous blond was chatting with her handsome escort in a posh \nrestaurant when their waiter, stumbling as he brought their drinks, \ndumped a martini on the rocks down the back of the blonde\'s dress.  She\nsprang to her feet with a wild rebel yell, dashed wildly around the table,\nthen galloped wriggling from the room followed by her distraught boyfriend.\nA man seated on the other side of the room with a date of his own beckoned\nto the waiter and said, \"We\'ll have two of whatever she was drinking.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13952,31,'\nThe water was not fit to drink.  To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey.\nBy diligent effort, I learned to like it.\n\t\t-- Winston Churchill\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13953,31,'\n\"The whole world is about three drinks behind.\"\n\t\t-- Humphrey Bogart\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13954,31,'\nThe wise and intelligent are coming belatedly to realize that alcohol, and\nnot the dog, is man\'s best friend.  Rover is taking a beating -- and he should.\n\t\t-- W.C. Fields\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13955,31,'\nThere are more old drunkards than old doctors.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13956,31,'\nThere are only two kinds of tequila.  Good and better.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13957,31,'\nThere are two problems with a major hangover.  You feel\nlike you are going to die and you\'re afraid that you won\'t.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13958,31,'\nThere be sober men a\'plenty, and drunkards barely twenty; there are men\nof over ninety who have never yet kissed a girl.  But give me the rambling\nrover, from Orkney down to Dover, we will roam the whole world over, and\ntogether we\'ll face the world.\n\t\t-- Andy Stewart, \"After the Hush\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13959,31,'\nThere is nothing wrong with abstinence, in moderation.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13960,31,'\nThere will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when\nthe boss asks for a lift home from the office.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13961,31,'\nThese days the necessities of life cost you about three times what they\nused to, and half the time they aren\'t even fit to drink.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13962,31,'\nThey took some of the Van Goghs, most of the jewels, and all of the Chivas!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13963,31,'\nTo be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13964,31,'\nTo one large turkey add one gallon of vermouth and a demijohn of Angostura\nbitters.  Shake.\n\t\t-- F. Scott Fitzgerald, recipe for turkey cocktail.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13965,31,'\nToo ripped.  Gotta go.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13966,31,'\nToothpaste never hurts the taste of good scotch.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13967,31,'\nTwo friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his \nbarstool and lay motionless on the floor.\n\t\"One thing about Jim,\" the other said to the bartender, \"he sure\nknows when to stop.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13968,31,'\nVermouth always makes me brilliant unless it makes me idiotic.\n\t\t-- E.F. Benson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13969,31,'\nWe don\'t smoke and we don\'t chew, and we don\'t go with girls that do.\n\t\t-- Walter Summers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13970,31,'\nWhat scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch?\n\t\t-- J.D. Farley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13971,31,'\nWhen all else fails, pour a pint of Guinness in the gas tank, advance\nthe spark 20 degrees, cry \"God Save the Queen!\", and pull the starter knob.\n\t\t-- MG \"Series MGA\" Workshop Manual\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13972,31,'\nWhen I drink, *everybody* drinks!\" a man shouted to the assembled bar patrons.\nA loud general cheer went up.  After downing his whiskey, he hopped onto a\nbarstool and shouted \"When I take another drink, *everybody* takes another\ndrink!\"  The announcement produced another cheer and another round of drinks.\n\tAs soon as he had downed his second drink, the fellow hopped back\nonto the stool.  \"And when I pay,\" he bellowed, slapping five dollars onto\nthe bar, \"*everybody* pays!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13973,31,'\nWhen I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year.  I\nhave found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with\nslightly over half that quantity of beer.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Postpetroleum Guzzler\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13974,31,'\nWhen I sell liquor, it\'s called bootlegging; when my patrons serve\nit on silver trays on Lake Shore Drive, it\'s called hospitality.\n\t\t-- Al Capone\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13975,31,'\nWhen the cup is full, carry it level.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13976,31,'\nWhen the going gets tough, the tough go grab a beer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13977,31,'\n\tWhile riding in a train between London and Birmingham, a woman\ninquired of Oscar Wilde, \"You don\'t mind if I smoke, do you?\"\n\tWilde gave her a sidelong glance and replied, \"I don\'t mind if\nyou burn, madam.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13978,31,'\nWho needs friends when you can sit alone in your room and drink?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13979,31,'\nWhy on earth do people buy old bottles of wine when they can get a\nfresh one for a quarter of the price?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13980,31,'\nWoman on Street:\tSir, you are drunk; very, very drunk.\nWinston Churchill:\tMadame, you are ugly; very, very ugly.\n\t\t\tI shall be sober in the morning.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13981,31,'\nWonderful day.  Your hangover just makes it seem terrible.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13982,31,'\nWoody:  What\'s the story, Mr. Peterson?\nNorm:   The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery.\n        Let\'s just cut to the happy ending.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Airport V\n\nWoody:  Hey, Mr. Peterson, there\'s a cold one waiting for you.\nNorm:   I know, and if she calls, I\'m not here.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Bar Wars II: The Woodman Strikes Back\n\nSam:  Beer, Norm?\nNorm: Have I gotten that predictable?  Good.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Don\'t Paint Your Chickens\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13983,31,'\nWoody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?\nNorm:  Yep, now let\'s get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?\n\t\t-- Cheers, Feeble Attraction\n\nSam:  What are you up to Norm?\nNorm: My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Bar Wars III: The Return of Tecumseh\n\nWoody: Nice cold beer coming up, Mr. Peterson.\nNorm:  You mean, `Nice cold beer going *down* Mr. Peterson.\'\n\t\t-- Cheers, Loverboyd\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13984,31,'\nWoody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, what do you say to a cold one?\nNorm:  See you later, Vera, I\'ll be at Cheers.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Norm\'s Last Hurrah\n\nSam:   Well, look at you.  You look like the cat that swallowed the canary.\nNorm:  And I need a beer to wash him down.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Norm\'s Last Hurrah\n\nWoody:  Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson?\nNorm:   No, I\'d like a dead cat in a glass.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Little Carla, Happy at Last, Part 2\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13985,31,'\nWoody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, what\'s up?\nNorm:  The warranty on my liver.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Breaking In Is Hard to Do\n\nSam:  What can I do for you, Norm?\nNorm: Open up those beer taps and, oh, take the day off, Sam.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Veggie-Boyd\n\nWoody: What\'s going on, Mr. Peterson?\nNorm:  Another layer for the winter, Wood.\n\t\t-- Cheers, It\'s a Wonderful Wife\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13986,31,'\nWoody: How are you feeling today, Mr. Peterson?\nNorm:  Poor.\nWoody: Oh, I\'m sorry to hear that.\nNorm:  No, I meant `pour\'.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Strange Bedfellows, Part 3\n\nWoody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, what\'s the story?\nNorm:  Boy meets beer.  Boy drinks beer.  Boy gets another beer.\n\t\t-- Cheers, The Proposal\n\nPaul:  Hey Norm, how\'s the world been treating you?\nNorm:  Like a baby treats a diaper.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Tan \'n Wash\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13987,31,'\nWoody: What\'s going on, Mr. Peterson?\nNorm:  Let\'s talk about what\'s going *in* Mr. Peterson.  A beer, Woody.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Paint Your Office\n\nSam:  How\'s life treating you?\nNorm: It\'s not, Sammy, but that doesn\'t mean you can\'t.\n\t\t-- Cheers, A Kiss is Still a Kiss\n\nWoody:  Can I pour you a draft, Mr. Peterson?\nNorm:   A little early, isn\'t it Woody?\nWoody:  For a beer?\nNorm:   No, for stupid questions.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Let Sleeping Drakes Lie\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13988,31,'\nWoody: What\'s happening, Mr. Peterson?\nNorm:  The question is, Woody, why is it happening to me?\n\t\t-- Cheers, Strange Bedfellows, Part 1\n\nWoody: What\'s going down, Mr. Peterson?\nNorm:  My cheeks on this barstool.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Strange Bedfellows, Part 2\n\nWoody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, can I pour you a beer?\nNorm:  Well, okay, Woody, but be sure to stop me at one. ...\n       Eh, make that one-thirty.\n\t\t-- Cheers, Strange Bedfellows, Part 2\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13989,31,'\nWork is the curse of the drinking classes.\n\t\t-- Mike Romanoff\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13990,31,'\nYou can\'t fall off the floor.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13991,31,'\nYou\'re not an alcoholic unless you go to the meetings.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13992,31,'\nYou\'re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.\n\t\t-- Dean Martin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13993,32,'A book is the work of a mind, doing its work in the way that a mind deems\nbest.  That\'s dangerous.  Is the work of some mere individual mind likely to\nserve the aims of collectively accepted compromises, which are known in the\nschools as \'standards\'?  Any mind that would audaciously put itself forth to\nwork all alone is surely a bad example for the students, and probably, if\nnot downright antisocial, at least a little off-center, self-indulgent,\nelitist.  ... It\'s just good pedagogy, therefore, to stay away from such\nstuff, and use instead, if film-strips and rap-sessions must be\nsupplemented, \'texts,\' selected, or prepared, or adapted, by real\nprofessionals.  Those texts are called \'reading material.\'  They are the\nacademic equivalent of the \'listening material\' that fills waiting-rooms,\nand the \'eating material\' that you can buy in thousands of convenient eating\nresource centers along the roads.\n\t\t-- The Underground Grammarian\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13994,32,'\nA definition of teaching: casting fake pearls before real swine.\n\t\t-- Bill Cain, \"Stand Up Tragedy\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13995,32,'\nA fool\'s brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and\nart into pedantry.  Hence University education.\n\t\t-- G. B. Shaw\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13996,32,'\nA good question is never answered.  It is not a bolt to be tightened\ninto place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the\nhope of greening the landscape of idea.\n\t\t-- John Ciardi\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13997,32,'\nA grammarian\'s life is always in tense.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13998,32,'\nA great many people think they are thinking when they are merely\nrearranging their prejudices.\n\t\t-- William James\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (13999,32,'\nA mother mouse was taking her large brood for a stroll across the kitchen\nfloor one day when the local cat, by a feat of stealth unusual even for\nits species, managed to trap them in a corner.  The children cowered,\nterrified by this fearsome beast, plaintively crying, \"Help, Mother!\nSave us!  Save us!  We\'re scared, Mother!\"\n\tMother Mouse, with the hopeless valor of a parent protecting its\nchildren, turned with her teeth bared to the cat, towering huge above them,\nand suddenly began to bark in a fashion that would have done any Doberman\nproud.  The startled cat fled in fear for its life.\n\tAs her grateful offspring flocked around her shouting \"Oh, Mother,\nyou saved us!\" and \"Yay!  You scared the cat away!\" she turned to them\npurposefully and declared, \"You see how useful it is to know a second\nlanguage?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14000,32,'\nA Parable of Modern Research:\n\n\tBob has lost his keys in a room which is dark except for one\nbrightly lit corner.\n\t\"Why are you looking under the light, you lost them in the dark!\"\n\t\"I can only see here.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14001,32,'\nA pencil with no point needs no eraser.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14002,32,'\n\t A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling\n\t\t\t  by Mark Twain\n\n\tFor example, in Year 1 that useless letter \"c\" would be dropped\nto be replased either by \"k\" or \"s\", and likewise \"x\" would no longer\nbe part of the alphabet.  The only kase in which \"c\" would be retained\nwould be the \"ch\" formation, which will be dealt with later.  Year 2\nmight reform \"w\" spelling, so that \"which\" and \"one\" would take the\nsame konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish \"y\" replasing it with\n\"i\" and Iear 4 might fiks the \"g/j\" anomali wonse and for all.\n\tJenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear\nwith Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12\nor so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.\nBai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi\nridandant letez \"c\", \"y\" and \"x\" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz\nov ould doderez -- tu riplais \"ch\", \"sh\", and \"th\" rispektivli.\n\tFainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud\nhev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14003,32,'\nA professor is one who talks in someone else\'s sleep.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14004,32,'\n\tA reader reports that when the patient died, the attending doctor\nrecorded the following on the patient\'s chart:  \"Patient failed to fulfill\nhis wellness potential.\"\n\tAnother doctor reports that in a recent issue of the *American Journal\nof Family Practice* fleas were called \"hematophagous arthropod vectors.\"\n\tA reader reports that the Army calls them \"vertically deployed anti-\npersonnel devices.\"  You probably call them bombs.\n\tAt McClellan Air Force base in Sacramento, California, civilian\nmechanics were placed on \"non-duty, non-pay status.\"  That is, they were fired.\n\tAfter taking the trip of a lifetime, our reader sent his twelve rolls\nof film to Kodak for developing (or \"processing,\" as Kodak likes to call it)\nonly to receive the following notice:  \"We must report that during the handling\nof your twelve 35mm Kodachrome slide orders, the films were involved in an\nunusual laboratory experience.\"  The use of the passive is a particularly nice\ntouch, don\'t you think?  Nobody did anything to the films; they just had a bad\nexperience.  Of course our reader can always go back to Tibet and take his \npictures all over again, using the twelve replacement rolls Kodak so generously\nsent him.\n\t\t-- Quarterly Review of Doublespeak (NCTE)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14005,32,'\nA student who changes the course of history is probably taking an exam.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14006,32,'\nA synonym is a word you use when you can\'t spell the word you first\nthought of.\n\t\t-- Burt Bacharach\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14007,32,'\nA tautology is a thing which is tautological.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14008,32,'\nA university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest\nin students.\n\t\t-- John Ciardi\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14009,32,'\n\"A University without students is like an ointment without a fly.\"\n\t-- Ed Nather, professor of astronomy at UT Austin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14010,32,'\nAbout all some men accomplish in life is to send a son to Harvard.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14011,32,'\nAbstract:\n\tThis study examined the incidence of neckwear tightness among a group\nof 94 white-collar working men and the effect of a tight business-shirt collar\nand tie on the visual performance of 22 male subjects.  Of the white-collar\nmen measured, 67');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14012,32,' were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than\ntheir neck circumference.  The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was\nevaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test.  Results of the CFF\ntest indicated that tight neckwear significantly decreased the visual\nperformance of the subjects and that visual performance did not improve\nimmediately when tight neckwear was removed.\n\t\t-- Langan, L.M. and Watkins, S.M. \"Pressure of Menswear on the\n\t\t   Neck in Relation to Visual Performance.\"  Human Factors 29,\n\t\t   #1 (Feb. 1987), pp. 67-71.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14013,32,'\nAcademic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics,\nbecause the stakes are so low.\n\t\t-- Wallace Sayre\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14014,32,'\nAcademicians care, that\'s who.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14015,32,'\n=============== ALL FRESHMEN PLEASE NOTE ===============\n\nTo minimize scheduling confusion, please realize that if you are taking one\ncourse which is offered at only one time on a given day, and another which is\noffered at all times on that day, the second class will be arranged as to \nafford maximum inconvenience to the student.  For example, if you happen\nto work on campus, you will have 1-2 hours between classes.  If you commute,\nthere will be a minimum of 6 hours between the two classes.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14016,32,'\nAn investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.\n\t\t-- Benjamin Franklin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14017,32,'\nAny two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.\n\t\t-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14018,32,'\nAs Gen. de Gaulle occassionally acknowledges America to be the daughter\nof Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.\n\t\t-- J.F. Kennedy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14019,32,'\nAs long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14020,32,'\nBriefly stated, the findings are that when presented with an array of\ndata or a sequence of events in which they are instructed to discover\nan underlying order, subjects show strong tendencies to perceive order\nand causality in random arrays, to perceive a pattern or correlation\nwhich seems a priori intuitively correct even when the actual correlation\nin the data is counterintuitive, to jump to conclusions about the correct\nhypothesis, to seek and to use only positive or confirmatory evidence, to\nconstrue evidence liberally as confirmatory, to fail to generate or to\nassess alternative hypotheses, and having thus managed to expose themselves\nonly to confirmatory instances, to be fallaciously confident of the validity\nof their judgments (Jahoda, 1969; Einhorn and Hogarth, 1978).  In the\nanalyzing of past events, these tendencies are exacerbated by failure to\nappreciate the pitfalls of post hoc analyses.\n\t\t-- A. Benjamin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14021,32,'\nBritish education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive\nit.  If you can\'t there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps.\n\t\t-- Peter Ustinov\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14022,32,'\n... But if we laugh with derision, we will never understand.  Human\nintellectual capacity has not altered for thousands of years so far as\nwe can tell.  If intelligent people invested intense energy in issues\nthat now seem foolish to us, then the failure lies in our understanding\nof their world, not in their distorted perceptions.  Even the standard\nexample of ancient nonsense -- the debate about angels on pinheads --\nmakes sense once you realize that theologians were not discussing\nwhether five or eighteen would fit, but whether a pin could house a\nfinite or an infinite number.\n\t\t-- S. J. Gould, \"Wide Hats and Narrow Minds\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14023,32,'\nCampus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points.\n\t\t-- M. M. Johnston\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14024,32,'\nComparing information and knowledge is like asking whether the fatness\nof a pig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule.\"\n\t\t-- David Guaspari\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14025,32,'\nDear Freshman,\n\tYou don\'t know who I am and frankly shouldn\'t care, but\nunknown to you we have something in common.  We are both rather\nprone to mistakes.  I was elected Student Government President by\nmistake, and you came to school here by mistake.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14026,32,'\nDear Miss Manners:\n\tMy home economics teacher says that one must never place one\'s\nelbows on the table.  However, I have read that one elbow, in between\ncourses, is all right.  Which is correct?\n\nGentle Reader:\n\tFor the purpose of answering examinations in your home economics\nclass, your teacher is correct.  Catching on to this principle of\neducation may be of even greater importance to you now than learning\ncorrect current table manners, vital as Miss Manners believes that is.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14027,32,'\nDepartment chairmen never die, they just lose their faculties.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14028,32,'\nDid you know the University of Iowa closed down after someone stole the book?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14029,32,'\nDo not clog intellect\'s sluices with bits of knowledge of questionable uses.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14030,32,'\nDo you know the difference between education and experience?  Education\nis what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get\nwhen you don\'t.\n\t\t-- Pete Seeger\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14031,32,'\nDo you think that illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14032,32,'\nEducation and religion are two things not regulated by supply and\ndemand.  The less of either the people have, the less they want.\n\t\t-- Charlotte Observer, 1897\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14033,32,'\nEducation is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to\ntime that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.\n\t\t-- Oscar Wilde, \"The Critic as Artist\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14034,32,'\nEducation is learning what you didn\'t even know you didn\'t know.\n\t\t-- Daniel J. Boorstin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14035,32,'\nEducation is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.\n\t\t-- Irwin Edman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14036,32,'\nEducation is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.\n\t\t-- B.F. Skinner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14037,32,'\nEducational television should be absolutely forbidden.  It can only lead\nto unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters\nof the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with\nroyal-blue chickens.\n\t\t-- Fran Lebowitz, \"Social Studies\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14038,32,'\nEloquence is logic on fire.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14039,32,'\nEncyclopedia for sale by father.  Son knows everything.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14040,32,'\nEngineering:    \"How will this work?\"\nScience:        \"Why will this work?\"\nManagement:     \"When will this work?\"\nLiberal Arts:   \"Do you want fries with that?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14041,32,'\nEven if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak\nit to?\n\t\t-- Clarence Darrow\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14042,32,'\nEverywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers.  My\nopinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.  There\'s many a bestseller\nthat could have been prevented by a good teacher.\n\t\t-- Flannery O\'Connor\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14043,32,'\nExaminations are formidable even to the best prepared, for\neven the greatest fool may ask more the the wisest man can answer.\n\t\t-- C.C. Colton\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14044,32,'\nExperience is the worst teacher.  It always gives the test first and\nthe instruction afterward.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14045,32,'\nF u cn rd ths u cnt spl wrth a dm!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14046,32,'\nf u cn rd ths, itn tyg h myxbl cd.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14047,32,'\nf u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14048,32,'\nf u cn rd ths, u r prbbly a lsy spllr.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14049,32,'\nFortune\'s Guide to Freshman Notetaking:\n\nWHEN THE PROFESSOR SAYS:\t\t\tYOU WRITE:\n\nProbably the greatest quality of the poetry\tJohn Milton -- born 1608\nof John Milton, who was born in 1608, is the\ncombination of beauty and power.  Few have\nexcelled him in the use of the English language,\nor for that matter, in lucidity of verse form,\n\'Paradise Lost\' being said to be the greatest\nsingle poem ever written.\"\n\nCurrent historians have come to\t\t\tMost of the problems that now\ndoubt the complete advantageousness\t\tface the United States are\nof some of Roosevelt\'s policies...\t\tdirectly traceable to the\n\t\t\t\t\t\tbungling and greed of President\n\t\t\t\t\t\tRoosevelt.\n\n... it is possible that we simply do\t\tProfessor Mitchell is a\nnot understand the Russian viewpoint...\t\tcommunist.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14050,32,'\nFourteen years in the professor dodge has taught me that one can argue\ningeniously on behalf of any theory, applied to any piece of literature.\nThis is rarely harmful, because normally no-one reads such essays.\n\t\t-- Robert Parker, quoted in \"Murder Ink\",  ed. D. Wynn\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14051,32,'\nGoing to church does not make a person religious, nor does going to school\nmake a person educated, any more than going to a garage makes a person a car.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14052,32,'\nGood day to avoid cops.  Crawl to school.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14053,32,'\nGood teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.\n\t\t-- Gail Godwin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14054,32,'\nGraduate life: It\'s not just a job.  It\'s an indenture.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14055,32,'\nGraduate students and most professors are no smarter than undergrads.\nThey\'re just older.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14056,32,'\nHe that teaches himself has a fool for a master.\n\t\t-- Benjamin Franklin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14057,32,'\n\"He was a modest, good-humored boy.  It was Oxford that made him insufferable.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14058,32,'\nHe who writes with no misspelled words has prevented a first suspicion\non the limits of his scholarship or, in the social world, of his general\neducation and culture.\n\t\t-- Julia Norton McCorkle\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14059,32,'\n[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had\na complete set.\n\t\t-- Ring Lardner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14060,32,'\nHigher education helps your earning capacity.  Ask any college professor.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14061,32,'\nHistory books which contain no lies are extremely dull.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14062,32,'\nHistory is nothing but a collection of fables and useless trifles,\ncluttered up with a mass of unnecessary figures and proper names.\n\t\t-- Leo Tolstoy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14063,32,'\nHow do you explain school to a higher intelligence?\n\t\t-- Elliot, \"E.T.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14064,32,'\nI am a bookaholic.  If you are a decent person, you will not sell me\nanother book.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14065,32,'\n\"I am not sure what this is, but an `F\' would only dignify it.\"\n\t\t-- English Professor\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14066,32,'\nI am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone\nhas printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.\n\t\t-- Professor Lowd, English, Ohio University\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14067,32,'\nI appreciate the fact that this draft was done in haste, but some of the\nsentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for you are\nloitering in taverns or asleep beside the highway.\n\t\t-- Dr. Dwight Van de Vate, Professor of Philosophy,\n\t\t   University of Tennessee at Knoxville\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14068,32,'\nI came out of twelve years of college and I didn\'t even know how to sew.\nAll I could do was account -- I couldn\'t even account for myself.\n\t\t-- Firesign Theatre\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14069,32,'\nI came to MIT to get an education for myself and a diploma for my mother.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14070,32,'\nI have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to\nmake it shorter.\n\t\t-- Blaise Pascal\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14071,32,'\n\"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ...\"\n\t\t-- Prof. Romas Aleliunas, CS 435\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14072,32,'\nI heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting:\na man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.\n\t\t-- Dwight D. Eisenhower\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14073,32,'\nI respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.\n\t\t-- Wilson Mizner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14074,32,'\nI think your opinions are reasonable, except for the one about my mental\ninstability.\n\t\t-- Psychology Professor, Farifield University\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14075,32,'\n\"I\'m returning this note to you, instead of your paper, because it (your paper)\npresently occupies the bottom of my bird cage.\"\n\t\t-- English Professor, Providence College\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14076,32,'\nIf any man wishes to be humbled and mortified, let him become president\nof Harvard.\n\t\t-- Edward Holyoke\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14077,32,'\nIf he had only learnt a little less, how infinitely better he might have\ntaught much more!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14078,32,'\nIf ignorance is bliss, why aren\'t there more happy people?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14079,32,'\nIf little else, the brain is an educational toy.\n\t\t-- Tom Robbins\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14080,32,'\nIf someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.\n\t\t-- Pope John Paul I\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14081,32,'\nIf the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get\nthe police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude.  See in\ncollege how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural\nmethod of teaching what each wishes to learn, and insisting that you shall\nlearn what you have no taste or capacity for.  The college, which should\nbe a place of delightful labor, is made odious and unhealthy, and the\nyoung men are tempted to frivolous amusements to rally their jaded spirits.\nI would have the studies elective.  Scholarship is to be created not\nby compulsion, but by awakening a pure interest in knowledge.  The wise\ninstructor accomplishes this by opening to his pupils precisely the\nattractions the study has for himself.  The marking is a system for schools,\nnot for the college; for boys, not for men; and it is an ungracious work to\nput on a professor.\n\t\t-- Ralph Waldo Emerson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14082,32,'\nIf truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?\n\t\t-- Lily Tomlin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14083,32,'\nIf we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.\n\t\t-- Wittgenstein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14084,32,'\nIf while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel\nin a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary\nqualifications, that field\'s employment market is glutted.\n\t\t-- Marguerite Emmons\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14085,32,'\nIf you are too busy to read, then you are too busy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14086,32,'\nIf you can\'t read this, blame a teacher.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14087,32,'\nIf you resist reading what you disagree with, how will you ever acquire\ndeeper insights into what you believe?  The things most worth reading\nare precisely those that challenge our convictions.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14088,32,'\nIf you think education is expensive, try ignorance.\n\t\t-- Derek Bok, president of Harvard\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14089,32,'\nIf you took all the students that felt asleep in class and laid them end to\nend, they\'d be a lot more comfortable.\n\t\t-- \"Graffiti in the Big Ten\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14090,32,'\n\"If you understand what you\'re doing, you\'re not learning anything.\"\n\t\t-- A. L.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14091,32,'\nIgnorance is never out of style.  It was in fashion yesterday, it is the\nrage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.\n\t\t-- Franklin K. Dane\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14092,32,'\nIgnorance is when you don\'t know anything and somebody finds it out.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14093,32,'\nIgnorance must certainly be bliss or there wouldn\'t be so many people\nso resolutely pursuing it. \n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14094,32,'\nIlliterate?  Write today, for free help!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14095,32,'\n\tIn a forest a fox bumps into a little rabbit, and says, \"Hi,\nJunior, what are you up to?\"\n\t\"I\'m writing a dissertation on how rabbits eat foxes,\" said the\nrabbit.\n\t\"Come now, friend rabbit, you know that\'s impossible!  No one\nwill publish such rubbish!\"\n\t\"Well, follow me and I\'ll show you.\"\n\tThey both go into the rabbit\'s dwelling and after a while the\nrabbit emerges with a satisfied expression on his face.  Comes along a\nwolf.  \"Hello, little buddy, what are we doing these days?\"\n\t\"I\'m writing the 2\'nd chapter of my thesis, on how rabbits devour\nwolves.\"\n\t\"Are you crazy?  Where\'s your academic honesty?\"\n\t\"Come with me and I\'ll show you.\"\n\tAs before, the rabbit comes out with a satisfied look on his face\nand a diploma in his paw.  Finally, the camera pans into the rabbit\'s cave\nand, as everybody should have guessed by now, we see a mean-looking, huge\nlion, sitting, picking his teeth and belching, next to some furry, bloody\nremnants of the wolf and the fox.\n\n\tThe moral: It\'s not the contents of your thesis that are\nimportant -- it\'s your PhD advisor that really counts.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14096,32,'\nIn California, Bill Honig, the Superintendent of Public Instruction, said he\nthought the general public should have a voice in defining what an excellent\nteacher should know.  \"I would not leave the definition of math,\" Dr. Honig\nsaid, \"up to the mathematicians.\"\n\t\t-- The New York Times, October 22, 1985\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14097,32,'\nInstead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don\'t\nthey pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning\nanything?  If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five\nyears we would have the smartest race of people on earth.\n\t\t-- The Best of Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14098,32,'\nIowa State -- the high school after high school!\n\t\t-- Crow T. Robot\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14099,32,'\nIt has been said [by Anatole France], \"it is not by amusing oneself\nthat one learns,\" and, in reply: \"it is *____\b\b\b\bonly* by amusing oneself that\none can learn.\"\n\t\t-- Edward Kasner and James R. Newman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14100,32,'\nIt has long been an article of our folklore that too much knowledge or skill,\nor especially consummate expertise, is a bad thing.  It dehumanizes those who\nachieve it, and makes difficult their commerce with just plain folks, in whom\ngood old common sense has not been obliterated by mere book learning or fancy\nnotions.  This popular delusion flourishes now more than ever, for we are all\ninfected with it in the schools, where educationists have elevated it from\nfolklore to Article of Belief.  It enhances their self-esteem and lightens\ntheir labors by providing theoretical justification for deciding that\nappreciation, or even simple awareness, is more to be prized than knowledge,\nand relating (to self and others), more than skill, in which minimum\ncompetence will be quite enough.\n\t\t-- The Underground Grammarian\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14101,32,'\n\tIt is a profoundly erroneous truism, repeated by all copy-books and\nby eminent people when they are making speeches, that we should cultivate\nthe habit of thinking about what we are doing.  The precise opposite is the\ncase.  Civilization advances by extending the numbers of important operations\nwhich we can perform without thinking about them.  Operations of thought are\nlike cavalry charges in battle -- they are strictly limited in number, they\nrequire fresh horses, and must only be made at decisive moments.\n\t\t-- Alfred North Whitehead\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14102,32,'\n\t\t\tIt\'s grad exam time...\nCOMPUTER SCIENCE\n\tInside your desk you\'ll find a listing of the DEC/VMS operating\nsystem in IBM 1710 machine code. Show what changes are necessary to convert\nthis code into a UNIX Berkeley 7 operating system.  Prove that these fixes are\nbug free and run correctly. You should gain at least 150');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14103,32,' efficiency in the\nnew system.  (You should take no more than 10 minutes on this question.)\n\nMATHEMATICS\n\tIf X equals PI times R^2, construct a formula showing how long\nit would take a fire ant to drill a hole through a dill pickle, if the\nlength-girth ratio of the ant to the pickle were 98.17:1.\n\nGENERAL KNOWLEDGE\nDescribe the Universe.  Give three examples.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14104,32,'\n\t\t\tIt\'s grad exam time...\nMEDICINE\n\tYou have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a\nbottle of Scotch.  Remove your appendix.  Do not suture until your work has\nbeen inspected.  (You have 15 minutes.)\n\nHISTORY\n\tDescribe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present\nday, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political,\neconomic, religious and philisophical impact upon Europe, Asia, America, and\nAfrica.  Be brief, concise, and specific.\n\nBIOLOGY\n\tCreate life.  Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture\nif this form of life had been created 500 million years ago or earlier, with\nspecial attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14105,32,'\nIt\'s is not, it isn\'t ain\'t, and it\'s it\'s, not its, if you mean it\nis.  If you don\'t, it\'s its.  Then too, it\'s hers.  It isn\'t her\'s.  It\nisn\'t our\'s either.  It\'s ours, and likewise yours and theirs.\n\t\t-- Oxford University Press, Edpress News\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14106,32,'\nJoe Cool always spends the first two weeks at college sailing his frisbee.\n\t\t-- Snoopy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14107,32,'\nLearned men are the cisterns of knowledge, not the fountainheads.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14108,32,'\nLearning at some schools is like drinking from a firehose.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14109,32,'\nLearning without thought is labor lost;\nthought without learning is perilous.\n\t\t-- Confucius\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14110,32,'\nMaybe ain\'t ain\'t so correct, but I notice that lots of folks who ain\'t\nusing ain\'t ain\'t eatin\' well.\n\t\t-- Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14111,32,'\nMost seminars have a happy ending.  Everyone\'s glad when they\'re over.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14112,32,'\nMy father, a good man, told me, \"Never lose your ignorance; you cannot\nreplace it.\"\n\t\t-- Erich Maria Remarque\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14113,32,'\nNever have so many understood so little about so much.\n\t\t-- James Burke\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14114,32,'\nNever let your schooling interfere with your education.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14115,32,'\nNo discipline is ever requisite to force attendance upon lectures which are\nreally worth the attending.\n\t\t-- Adam Smith, \"The Wealth of Nations\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14116,32,'\nNo matter who you are, some scholar can show you the great idea you had\nwas had by someone before you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14117,32,'\nNo wonder you\'re tired!  You understood so much today.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14118,32,'\nNormally our rules are rigid; we tend to discretion, if for no other reason\nthan self-protection.  We never recommend any of our graduates, although we\ncheerfully provide information as to those who have failed their courses.\n\t\t-- Jack Vance, \"Freitzke\'s Turn\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14119,32,'\nNot only is this incomprehensible, but the ink is ugly and the paper\nis from the wrong kind of tree.\n\t\t-- Professor, EECS, George Washington University\n\nI\'m looking forward to working with you on this next year.\n\t\t-- Professor, Harvard, on a  senior thesis.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14120,32,'\n\t\t`O\' LEVEL COUNTER CULTURE\nTimewarp allowed: 3 hours.  Do not scrawl situationalist graffiti in the\nmargins or stub your rollups in the inkwells.  Orange may be worn.  Credit\nwill be given to candidates who self-actualise.\n\n\t(1) Compare and contrast Pink Floyd with Black Sabbath and say why\n\t    neither has street credibility.\n\t(2) \"Even Buddha would have been hard pushed to reach Nirvana squatting\n\t    on a juggernaut route.\"  Consider the dialectic of inner truth\n\t    and inner city.\n\t(3) Discuss degree of hassle involved in paranoia about being sucked\n\t    into a black hole.\n\t(4) \"The Egomaniac\'s Liberation Front were a bunch of revisionist\n\t    ripoff merchants.\"  Comment on this insult.\n\t(5) Account for the lack of references to brown rice in Dylan\'s lyrics.\n\t(6) \"Castenada was a bit of a bozo.\"  How far is this a fair summing\n\t    up of western dualism?\n\t(7) Hermann Hesse was a Pisces.  Discuss.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14121,32,'\n\"OK, now let\'s look at four dimensions on the blackboard.\"\n\t\t-- Dr. Joy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14122,32,'\nOK, so you\'re a Ph.D.  Just don\'t touch anything.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14123,32,'\nOne cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs -- but it is amazing\nhow many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.\n\t\t-- Professor Charles P. Issawi\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14124,32,'\nPeriphrasis is the putting of things in a round-about way.  \"The cost may be\nupwards of a figure rather below 10m#.\" is a periphrasis for The cost may be\nnearly 10m#.  \"In Paris there reigns a complete absence of really reliable\nnews\" is a periphrasis for There is no reliable news in Paris.  \"Rarely does\nthe \'Little Summer\' linger until November, but at times its stay has been\nprolonged until quite late in the year\'s penultimate month\" contains a\nperiphrasis for November, and another for lingers.  \"The answer is in the\nnegative\" is a periphrasis for No.  \"Was made the recipient of\" is a\nperiphrasis for Was presented with.  The periphrasis style is hardly possible\non any considerable scale without much use of abstract nouns such as \"basis,\ncase, character, connexion, dearth, description, duration, framework, lack,\nnature, reference, regard, respect\".  The existence of abstract nouns is a\nproof that abstract thought has occurred; abstract thought is a mark of\ncivilized man; and so it has come about that periphrasis and civilization are\nby many held to be inseparable.  These good people feel that there is an almost\nindecent nakedness, a reversion to barbarism, in saying No news is good news\ninstead of \"The absence of intelligence is an indication of satisfactory\ndevelopments.\"\n\t\t-- Fowler\'s English Usage\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14125,32,'\n\"Plaese porrf raed.\"\n\t\t-- Prof. Michael O\'Longhlin, S.U.N.Y. Purchase\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14126,32,'\nPractice is the best of all instructors.\n\t\t-- Publilius\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14127,32,'\nPrinceton\'s taste is sweet like a strawberry tart.  Harvard\'s is a subtle\ntaste, like whiskey, coffee, or tobacco.  It may even be a bad habit, for\nall I know.\n\t\t-- Prof. J.H. Finley \'25\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14128,32,'\nProfessor Gorden Newell threw another shutout in last week\'s Chem Eng. 130\nmidterm.  Once again a student did not receive a single point on his exam.\nNewell has now tossed 5 shutouts this quarter.  Newell\'s earned exam average\nhas now dropped to a phenomenal 30');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14129,32,'.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14130,32,'\nReading is thinking with someone else\'s head instead of one\'s own.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14131,32,'\nReading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14132,32,'\nReporter:   \"How did you like school when you were growing up, Yogi?\"\nYogi Berra: \"Closed.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14133,32,'\nRules for Good Grammar #4.\n\t (1) Don\'t use no double negatives.\n\t (2) Make each pronoun agree with their antecedents.\n\t (3) Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.\n\t (4) About them sentence fragments.\n\t (5) When dangling, watch your participles.\n\t (6) Verbs has got to agree with their subjects.\n\t (7) Just between you and i, case is important.\n\t (8) Don\'t write run-on sentences when they are hard to read.\n\t (9) Don\'t use commas, which aren\'t necessary.\n\t(10) Try to not ever split infinitives.\n\t(11) It is important to use your apostrophe\'s correctly.\n\t(12) Proofread your writing to see if you any words out.\n\t(13) Correct speling is essential.\n\t(14) A preposition is something you never end a sentence with.\n\t(15) While a transcendant vocabulary is laudable, one must be eternally\n\t     careful so that the calculated objective of communication does not\n\t     become ensconsed in obscurity.  In other words, eschew obfuscation.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14134,32,'\nSmartness runs in my family.  When I went to school I was so smart my\nteacher was in my class for five years.\n\t\t-- George Burns\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14135,32,'\nSome scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books.\n\t\t-- Folk saying\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14136,32,'\n\"Speed is subsittute fo accurancy.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14137,32,'\nSpelling is a lossed art.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14138,32,'\nSuddenly, Professor Liebowitz realizes he has come to the seminar\nwithout his duck ...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14139,32,'\nTeachers have class.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14140,32,'\nThe \'A\' is for content, the \'minus\' is for not typing it.  Don\'t ever do\nthis to my eyes again.\n\t\t-- Professor Ronald Brady, Philosophy, Ramapo State College\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14141,32,'\nThe alarm clock that is louder than God\'s own belongs to the roommate with\nthe earliest class.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14142,32,'\nThe average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from\none graveyard to another.\n\t\t-- J. Frank Dobie, \"A Texan in England\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14143,32,'\nThe avocation of assessing the failures of better men can be turned\ninto a comfortable livelihood, providing you back it up with a Ph.D.\n\t\t-- Nelson Algren, \"Writers at Work\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14144,32,'\n\t\"The best thing for being sad,\" replied Merlin, beginning to puff\nand blow, \"is to learn something.  That\'s the only thing that never fails.\nYou may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at\nnight listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love,\nyou may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your\nhonour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for\nit then -- to learn.  Learn why the world wags and what wags it.  That is\nthe only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be\ntortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting.  Learning\nis the only thing for you.  Look what a lot of things there are to learn.\"\n\t\t-- T.H. White, \"The Once and Future King\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14145,32,'\nThe brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up\nin the morning, and does not stop until you get to school.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14146,32,'\nThe college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his\nintellectual nakedness.\n\t\t-- Robert M. Hutchins\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14147,32,'\nThe end of the world will occur at three p.m., this Friday, with\nsymposium to follow.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14148,32,'\nThe future is a race between education and catastrophe.\n\t\t-- H.G. Wells\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14149,32,'\nThe important thing is not to stop questioning.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14150,32,'\nThe man who has never been flogged has never been taught.\n\t\t-- Menander\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14151,32,'\nThe only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.\n\t\t-- Andre Maurois (Emile Herzog)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14152,32,'\nThe only thing we learn from history is that we do not learn.\n\t\t-- Earl Warren\n\nThat men do not learn very much from history is the most important of all\nthe lessons that history has to teach.\n\t\t-- Aldous Huxley\n\nWe learn from history that we do not learn from history.\n\t\t-- Georg Hegel\n\nHISTORY:  Papa Hegel he say that all we learn from history is that we learn\nnothing from history.  I know people who can\'t even learn from what happened\nthis morning.  Hegel must have been taking the long view.\n\t\t-- Chad C. Mulligan, \"The Hipcrime Vocab\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14153,32,'\nThe only thing we learn from history is that we learn nothing from history.\n\t\t-- Hegel\n\nI know guys can\'t learn from yesterday ... Hegel must be taking the long view.\n\t\t-- John Brunner, \"Stand on Zanzibar\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14154,32,'\nThe problem with graduate students, in general, is that they have\nto sleep every few days.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14155,32,'\nThe ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the\nilliterates can read.\n\t\t-- Alberto Moravia\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14156,32,'\nThe real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.\n\t\t-- Christopher Morley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14157,32,'\n\"The student in question is performing minimally for his peer group and\nis an emerging underachiever.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14158,32,'\nThe sum of the intelligence of the world is constant.  The population is,\nof course, growing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14159,32,'\nThe sunlights differ, but there is only one darkness.\n\t\t-- Ursula K. LeGuin, \"The Dispossessed\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14160,32,'\nThe test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed\nideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.\n\t\t-- F. Scott Fitzgerald\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14161,32,'\nThe three best things about going to school are June, July, and August.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14162,32,'\nThe Tree of Learning bears the noblest fruit, but noble fruit tastes bad.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14163,32,'\nThe USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious\nseminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the\nunorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more\nbounteous harvest of gobbledegook than the rest of the world put together.\n\t\t-- Sir Peter Medawar\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14164,32,'\nThe world is coming to an end!  Repent and return those library books!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14165,32,'\nThe world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an\nopen doorway with an open mind.\n\t\t-- E.B. White\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14166,32,'\nThere are no answers, only cross-references.\n\t\t-- Weiner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14167,32,'\nThis is the sort of English up with which I will not put.\n\t\t-- Winston Churchill\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14168,32,'\nThose who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for\nthese only gave life, those the art of living well.\n\t\t-- Aristotle\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14169,32,'\nTime is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.\n\t\t-- Hector Berlioz\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14170,32,'\nTo accuse others for one\'s own misfortunes is a sign of want of education.\nTo accuse oneself shows that one\'s education has begun.  To accuse neither\noneself nor others shows that one\'s education is complete.\n\t\t-- Epictetus\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14171,32,'\nTo craunch a marmoset.\n\t\t-- Pedro Carolino, \"English as She is Spoke\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14172,32,'\nTo teach is to learn twice.\n\t\t-- Joseph Joubert\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14173,32,'\nTo teach is to learn.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14174,32,'\nTry not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.\n\t\t-- Charles Schulz\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14175,32,'\nTrying to get an education here is like trying to get a drink from a fire hose.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14176,32,'\nUniversities are places of knowledge.  The freshman each bring a little\nin with them, and the seniors take none away, so knowledge accumulates.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14177,32,'\nUniversity politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.\n\t\t-- Henry Kissinger\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14178,32,'\nWalt:\tDad, what\'s gradual school?\nGarp:\tGradual school?\nWalt:\tYeah.  Mom says her work\'s more fun now that she\'s teaching\n\tgradual school.\nGarp:\tOh.  Well, gradual school is someplace you go and gradually\n\tfind out that you don\'t want to go to school anymore.\n\t\t-- The World According To Garp\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14179,32,'\n\"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!\"\n\t\t-- Vroomfondel\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14180,32,'\nWe know next to nothing about virtually everything.  It is not necessary\nto know the origin of the universe; it is necessary to want to know.\nCivilization depends not on any particular knowledge, but on the disposition\nto crave knowledge.\n\t\t-- George Will\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14181,32,'\nWe\'re fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable\nthings we did.  I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend\nand myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.\n\t\t-- Waldo D.R. Dobbs\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14182,32,'\n\t\"We\'re running out of adjectives to describe our situation.  We\nhad crisis, then we went into chaos, and now what do we call this?\" said\nNicaraguan economist Francisco Mayorga, who holds a doctorate from Yale.\n\t\t-- The Washington Post, February, 1988\n\nThe New Yorker\'s comment:\n\tAt Harvard they\'d call it a noun.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14183,32,'\nWhat does education often do?  It makes a straight cut ditch of a\nfree meandering brook.\n\t\t-- Henry David Thoreau\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14184,32,'\n\t\tWhat I Did During My Fall Semester\nOn the first day of my fall semester, I got up.\nThen I went to the library to find a thesis topic.\nThen I hung out in front of the Dover.\n\nOn the second day of my fall semester, I got up.\nThen I went to the library to find a thesis topic.\nThen I hung out in front of the Dover.\n\nOn the third day of my fall semester, I got up.\nThen I went to the library to find a thesis topic.\nI found a thesis topic:\n\tHow to keep people from hanging out in front of the Dover.\n\t\t-- Sister Mary Elephant, \"Student Statement for Black Friday\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14185,32,'\nWhat makes you think graduate school is supposed to be satisfying?\n\t\t-- Erica Jong, \"Fear of Flying\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14186,32,'\nWhat passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error.\n\t\t-- Raymond Aron, \"The Opium of the Intellectuals\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14187,32,'\nWhat we do not understand we do not possess.\n\t\t-- Goethe\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14188,32,'\nWhat\'s page one, a preemptive strike?\n\t\t-- Professor Freund, Communication, Ramapo State College\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14189,32,'\nWhen I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into\nthe soul of the boy sitting next to me.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14190,32,'\nWhenever anyone says, \"theoretically,\" they really mean, \"not really.\"\n\t\t-- Dave Parnas\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14191,32,'\nWhere do I find the time for not reading so many books?\n\t\t-- Karl Kraus\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14192,32,'\n\"Whom are you?\" said he, for he had been to night school.\n\t\t-- George Ade\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14193,32,'\n\tWouldn\'t the sentence \"I want to put a hyphen between the words Fish\nand And and And and Chips in my Fish-And-Chips sign\" have been clearer if\nquotation marks had been placed before Fish, and between Fish and and, and\nand and And, and And and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and\nChips, as well as after Chips?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14194,32,'\nYou can\'t expect a boy to be vicious till he\'s been to a good school.\n\t\t-- H.H. Munro\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14195,32,'\nYou don\'t have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.\n\t\t-- J. D. Salinger\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14196,32,'\nYou may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.\n\t\t-- Alfred Kahn\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14197,32,'\n\"You should, without hesitation, pound your typewriter into a plowshare,\nyour paper into fertilizer, and enter agriculture\"\n\t\t-- Business Professor, University of Georgia\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14198,32,'\nYour education begins where what is called your education is over.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14199,33,'\tA German, a Pole and a Czech left camp for a hike through the woods.\nAfter being reported missing a day or two later, rangers found two bears,\none a male, one a female, looking suspiciously overstuffed.  They killed\nthe female, autopsied her, and sure enough, found the German and the Pole.\n\t\"What do you think?\" said the the first ranger.\n\t\"The Czech is in the male,\" replied the second.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14200,33,'\nAberdeen was so small that when the family with the car went\non vacation, the gas station and drive-in theatre had to close.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14201,33,'\nAccording to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in\nAmerica is the city of Pittsburgh.  The city of New York came in twenty-fifth.\nHere in New York we really don\'t care too much.  Because we know that we could\nbeat up their city anytime. \n\t\t-- David Letterman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14202,33,'\n\"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands.\"\n\t\t-- Saint Patrick\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14203,33,'\nAlso, the Scots are said to have invented golf.  Then they had\nto invent Scotch whiskey to take away the pain and frustration.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14204,33,'\nalta, v:\tTo change; make or become different; modify.\nansa, v:\tA spoken or written reply, as to a question.\nbaa, n:\t\tA place people meet to have a few drinks.\nBaaston, n:\tThe capital of Massachusetts.\nbaaba, n:\tOne whose business is to cut or trim hair or beards.\nbeea, n:\tAn alcoholic beverage brewed from malt and hops, often\n\t\t\tfound in baas.\ncaaa, n:\tAn automobile.\ncenta, n:\tA point around which something revolves; axis.  (Or\n\t\t\tsomeone involved with the Knicks.)\nchouda, n:\tA thick seafood soup, often in a milk base.\ndada, n:\tInformation, esp. information organized for analysis or\n\t\t\tcomputation.\n\t\t-- Massachewsetts Unabridged Dictionary\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14205,33,'\nAmerica was discovered by Amerigo Vespucci and was named after him, until\npeople got tired of living in a place called \"Vespuccia\" and changed its\nname to \"America\".\n\t\t-- Mike Harding, \"The Armchair Anarchist\'s Almanac\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14206,33,'\nAmerica, how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?\n\t\t-- Allen Ginsberg\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14207,33,'\nAmerican by birth; Texan by the grace of God.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14208,33,'\nAmericans are people who insist on living in the present, tense.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14209,33,'\nAmericans\' greatest fear is that America will turn out to have been a\nphenomenon, not a civilization.\n\t\t-- Shirley Hazzard, \"Transit of Venus\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14210,33,'\nAn American is a man with two arms and four wheels.\n\t\t-- A Chinese child\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14211,33,'\nAn Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.\n\t\t-- A.P. Herbert\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14212,33,'\nAnything anybody can say about America is true.\n\t\t-- Emmett Grogan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14213,33,'\nArmenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh\nautonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.\n\t\t-- P.J. O\'Rourke\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14214,33,'\nBaseball is a skilled game.  It\'s America\'s game - it, and high taxes.\n\t-- The Best of Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14215,33,'\nBond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them\nseemed to come from Texas.\n\t\t-- Ian Fleming, \"Casino Royale\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14216,33,'\nBoston State House is the hub of the Solar System.  You couldn\'t pry that out\nof a Boston man if you had the tire of all creation straightened out for a\ncrowbar.\n\t\t-- Oliver Wendell Holmes\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14217,33,'\n\tCarol\'s head ached as she trailed behind the unsmiling Calibrees\nalong the block of booths.  She chirruped at Kennicott, \"Let\'s be wild!\nLet\'s ride on the merry-go-round and grab a gold ring!\"\n\tKennicott considered it, and mumbled to Calibree, \"Think you folks\nwould like to stop and try a ride on the merry-go-round?\"\n\tCalibree considered it, and mumbled to his wife, \"Think you\'d like\nto stop and try a ride on the merry-go-round?\"\n\tMrs. Calibree smiled in a washed-out manner, and sighed, \"Oh no,\nI don\'t believe I care to much, but you folks go ahead and try it.\"\n\tCalibree stated to Kennicott, \"No, I don\'t believe we care to a\nwhole lot, but you folks go ahead and try it.\"\n\tKennicott summarized the whole case against wildness: \"Let\'s try\nit some other time, Carrie.\"\n\tShe gave it up.\n\t\t-- Sinclair Lewis, \"Main Street\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14218,33,'\nClimate and Surgery\n\tR C Gilchrist, who was shot by J Sharp twelve days ago, and who\nreceived a derringer ball in the right breast, and who it was supposed at\nthe time could not live many hours, was on the street yesterday and the\nday before -- walking several blocks at a time.  To those who design to be\nriddled with bullets or cut to pieces with Bowie-knives, we cordially\nrecommend our Sacramento climate and Sacramento surgery.\n\t\t-- Sacramento Daily Union, September 11, 1861\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14219,33,'\nDavid Letterman\'s \"Things we can be proud of as Americans\":\n\n\t* Greatest number of citizens who have actually boarded a UFO\n\t* Many newspapers feature \"JUMBLE\"\n\t* Hourly motel rates\n\t* Vast majority of Elvis movies made here\n\t* Didn\'t just give up right away during World War II\n\t\tlike some countries we could mention\n\t* Goatees & Van Dykes thought to be worn only by weenies\n\t* Our well-behaved golf professionals\n\t* Fabulous babes coast to coast\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14220,33,'\nDecemba, n:\tThe 12th month of the year.\nerra, n:\tA mistake.\nfaa, n:\t\tTo, from, or at considerable distance.\nLinder, n:\tA female name.\nmemba, n:\tTo recall to the mind; think of again.\nNew Hampsha, n:\tA state in the northeast United States.\nNew Yaak, n:\tAnother state in the northeast United States.\nNovemba, n:\tThe 11th month of the year.\nOctoba, n:\tThe 10th month of the year.\nova, n:\t\tLocation above or across a specified position.  What the\n\t\t\tseason is when the Knicks quit playing.\n\t\t-- Massachewsetts Unabridged Dictionary\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14221,33,'\nDetroit is Cleveland without the glitter.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14222,33,'\nDo Miami a favor.  When you leave, take someone with you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14223,33,'\nDo you know Montana?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14224,33,'\nDo you know the difference between a yankee and a damyankee?\n\nA yankee comes south to *_____\b\b\b\b\bvisit*.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14225,33,'\nEli and Bessie went to sleep.\nIn the middle of the night, Bessie nudged Eli.\n\t\"Please be so kindly and close the window.  It\'s cold outside!\"\nHalf asleep, Eli murmured,\n\t\"Nu ... so if I\'ll close the window, will it be warm outside?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14226,33,'\nFive people -- an Englishman, Russian, American, Frenchman and Irishman\nwere each asked to write a book on elephants.  Some amount of time later they\nhad all completed their respective books.  The Englishman\'s book was entitled\n\"The Elephant -- How to Collect Them\", the Russian\'s \"The Elephant -- Vol. I\",\nthe American\'s \"The Elephant -- How to Make Money from Them\", the Frenchman\'s\n\"The Elephant -- Its Mating Habits\" and the Irishman\'s \"The Elephant and\nIrish Political History\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14227,33,'\nFor some reason a glaze passes over people\'s faces when you say\n\"Canada\".  Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something.\n\t\t-- Sandra Gotlieb, wife of the Canadian ambassador to the U.S.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14228,33,'\nFortune presents:\n\tUSEFUL PHRASES IN ESPERANTO, #1.\n\n^Cu vi parolas angle?\t\t\tDo you speak English?\nMi ne komprenas.\t\t\tI don\'t understand.\nVi estas la sola esperantisto kiun mi\tYou\'re the only Esperanto speaker\n\trenkontas.\t\t\t\tI\'ve met.\nLa ^ceko estas enpo^stigita.\t\tThe check is in the mail.\nOni ne povas, ^gin netrovi.\t\tYou can\'t miss it.\nMi nur rigardadas.\t\t\tI\'m just looking around.\nNu, ^sajnis bona ideo.\t\t\tWell, it seemed like a good idea.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14229,33,'\nFortune presents:\n\tUSEFUL PHRASES IN ESPERANTO, #2.\n\n^Cu tiu loko estas okupita?\t\tIs this seat taken?\n^Cu vi ofte venas ^ci-tien?\t\tDo you come here often?\n^Cu mi povas havi via telelonnumeron?\tMay I have your phone number?\nMi estas komputilisto.\t\t\tI work with computers.\nMi legas multe da scienca fikcio.\tI read a lot of science fiction.\n^Cu necesas ke vi eliras?\t\tDo you really have to be going?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14230,33,'\nFortune presents:\n\tUSEFUL PHRASES IN ESPERANTO, #5.\n\nMi ^cevalovipus vin se mi havus\t\tI\'d horsewhip you if I had a horse.\n\t^cevalon.\nVere vi ^sercas.\t\t\tYou must be kidding.\nNu, parDOOOOOnu min!\t\t\tWell exCUUUUUSE me!\nKiu invitis vin?\t\t\tWho invited you?\nKion vi diris pri mia patrino?\t\tWhat did you say about my mother?\nBu^so^stopu min per kulero.\t\tGag me with a spoon.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14231,33,'\nGay shlafen:  Yiddish for \"go to sleep\".\n\nNow doesn\'t \"gay shlafen\" have a softer, more soothing sound than the\nharsh, staccato \"go to sleep\"?  Listen to the difference:\n\t\"Go to sleep, you little wretch!\" ... \"Gay shlafen, darling.\"\nObvious, isn\'t it?\n\tClearly the best thing you can do for you children is to start\nspeaking Yiddish right now and never speak another word of English as\nlong as you live.  This will, of course, entail teaching Yiddish to all\nyour friends, business associates, the people at the supermarket, and\nso on, but that\'s just the point.  It has to start with committed\nindividuals and then grow....\n\tSome minor adjustments will have to be made, of course: those\nsigns written in what look like Yiddish letters won\'t be funny when\neverything is written in Yiddish.  And we\'ll have to start driving on\nthe left side of the road so we won\'t be reading the street signs\nbackwards.  But is that too high a price to pay for world peace?\nI think not, my friend, I think not.\n\t\t-- Arthur Naiman, \"Every Goy\'s Guide to Yiddish\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14232,33,'\n\"Gee, Toto, I don\'t think we are in Kansas anymore.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14233,33,'\n\"God gives burdens; also shoulders\"\n\nJimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the\nend of the 1980 election.  At least he said it was a Jewish saying; I\ncan\'t find it anywhere.  I\'m sure he\'s telling the truth though; why\nwould he lie about a thing like that?\n\t\t-- Arthur Naiman, \"Every Goy\'s Guide to Yiddish\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14234,33,'\nGood night, Austin, Texas, wherever you are!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14235,33,'\nHating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and\ncheating on your income tax.\n\t\t-- Mike Royko\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14236,33,'\nHave you seen the latest Japanese camera?  Apparently it is so fast it can\nphotograph an American with his mouth shut!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14237,33,'\nHear about the Californian terrorist that tried to blow up a bus?\nBurned his lips on the exhaust pipe.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14238,33,'\nHear about the young Chinese woman who just won the lottery?\nOne fortunate cookie...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14239,33,'\n\tHere is the fact of the week, maybe even the fact of the month.\nAccording to probably reliable sources, the Coca-Cola people are experiencing\nsevere marketing anxiety in China.\n\tThe words \"Coca-Cola\" translate into Chinese as either (depending\non the inflection) \"wax-fattened mare\" or \"bite the wax tadpole\".\n\tBite the wax tadpole.\n\tThere is a sort of rough justice, is there not?\n\tThe trouble with this fact, as lovely as it is, is that it\'s hard\nto get a whole column out of it. I\'d like to teach the world to bite a wax\ntadpole.  Coke -- it\'s the real wax-fattened mare.  Not bad, but broad\nsatiric vistas do not open up.\n\t\t-- John Carrol, The San Francisco Chronicle\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14240,33,'\n\"His great aim was to escape from civilization, and, as soon as he had\nmoney, he went to Southern California.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14241,33,'\nHistorians have now definitely established that Juan Cabrillo, discoverer\nof California, was not looking for Kansas, thus setting a precedent that\ncontinues to this day.\n\t\t-- Wayne Shannon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14242,33,'\nHoudini escaping from New Jersey!\n\nFilm at eleven.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14243,33,'\nHow many priests are needed for a Boston Mass?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14244,33,'\nI am just a nice, clean-cut Mongolian boy.\n\t-- Yul Brynner, 1956\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14245,33,'\nI am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of\npre-Adamite ancestral descent.  You will understand this when I tell you\nthat I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic\nglobule.  Consequently, my family pride is something inconceivable.  I\ncan\'t help it.  I was born sneering.\n\t\t-- Pooh-Bah, \"The Mikado\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14246,33,'\nI didn\'t know he was dead; I thought he was British.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14247,33,'\nI have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.\n\t\t-- George Bernard Shaw\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14248,33,'\nI shot an arrow in to the air, and it stuck.\n\t\t-- graffito in Los Angeles\n\nOn a clear day,\nU.C.L.A.\n\t\t-- graffito in San Francisco\n\nThere\'s so much pollution in the air now that if it weren\'t for our\nlungs there\'d be no place to put it all.\n\t\t-- Robert Orben\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14249,33,'\nI\'m going through my \"I want to go back to New York\" phase today.  Happens\nevery six months or so.  So, I thought, perhaps unwisely, that I\'d share\nit with you.  \n\n> In New York in the winter it is million degrees below zero and\n  the wind travels at a million miles an hour down 5th avenue. \n> And in LA it\'s 72.\n\n> In New York in the summer it is a million degrees and the humidity\n  is a million percent.\n> And in LA it\'s 72.\n\n> In New York there are a million interesting people.  \n> And in LA there are 72.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14250,33,'\n\"I\'m in Pittsburgh.  Why am I here?\"\n\t\t-- Harold Urey, Nobel Laureate\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14251,33,'\nIf all the Chinese simultaneously jumped into the Pacific off a 10 foot\nplatform erected 10 feet off their coast, it would cause a tidal wave\nthat would destroy everything in this country west of Nebraska.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14252,33,'\nIllinois isn\'t exactly the land that God forgot -- it\'s more like the\nland He\'s trying to ignore.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14253,33,'\nIn 1880 the French captured Detroit but gave it back ... they couldn\'t\nget parts.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14254,33,'\nIn America, it\'s not how much an item costs, it\'s how much you save.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14255,33,'\nIn any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations --\nit\'s cold, half-French, and difficult to stir.\n\t\t-- Stuart Keate\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14256,33,'\nIn California they don\'t throw their garbage away -- they make it into\ntelevision shows.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen, \"Annie Hall\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14257,33,'\nIn Minnesota they ask why all football fields in Iowa have artificial turf.\nIt\'s so the cheerleaders won\'t graze during the game.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14258,33,'\nIndiana is a state dedicated to basketball.  Basketball, soybeans, hogs and\nbasketball.  Berkeley, needless to say, is not nearly as athletic.  Berkeley\nis dedicated to coffee, angst, potholes and coffee.\n\t\t-- Carolyn Jones\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14259,33,'\nInglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations\n\n\tSign on a cabin door of a Soviet Black Sea cruise liner:\n\t\tHelpsavering apparata in emergings behold many whistles!\n\t\tAssociate the stringing apparata about the bosums and meet\n\t\tbehind, flee then to the indifferent lifesaveringshippen\n\t\tobedicing the instructs of the vessel.\n\n\tOn the door in a Belgrade hotel:\n\t\tLet us know about any unficiency as well as leaking on\n\t\tthe service. Our utmost will improve it.\n\n\t\t-- Colin Bowles\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14260,33,'\nInglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations\n\n\tSign on a cathedral in Spain:\n\t\tIt is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if\n\t\tdressed as a man.\n\n\tAbove the enterance to a Cairo bar:\n\t\tUnaccompanied ladies not admitted unless with husband\n\t\tor similar.\n\n\tOn a Bucharest elevator:\n\n\t\tThe lift is being fixed for the next days.\n\t\tDuring that time we regret that you will be unbearable.\n\n\t\t-- Colin Bowles\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14261,33,'\nInglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations\n\n\tVarious signs in Poland:\n\n\t\tRight turn toward immediate outside.\n\n\t\tGo soothingly in the snow, as there lurk the ski demons.\n\n\t\tFive o\'clock tea at all hours.\n\n\tIn a men\'s washroom in Sidney:\n\n\t\tShake excess water from hands, push button to start,\n\t\trub hands rapidly under air outlet and wipe hands\n\t\ton front of shirt.\n\n\t\t-- Colin Bowles, San Francisco Chronicle\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14262,33,'\nIowans ask why Minnesotans don\'t drink more Kool-Aid.  That\'s because\nthey can\'t figure out how to get two quarts of water into one of those\nlittle paper envelopes.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14263,33,'\nIsn\'t it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?\n\t\t-- Herb Caen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14264,33,'\nIt\'s hard to argue that God hated Oklahoma.  If He didn\'t, why is it so\nclose to Texas?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14265,33,'\nIt\'s not Camelot, but it\'s not Cleveland, either.\n\t\t-- Kevin White, Mayor of Boston\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14266,33,'\nIt\'s not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.\n\t\t-- Alexander Korda\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14267,33,'\nIt\'s odd, and a little unsettling, to reflect upon the fact that\nEnglish is the only major language in which \"I\" is capitalized; in many\nother languages \"You\" is capitalized and the \"i\" is lower case.\n\t\t-- Sydney J. Harris\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14268,33,'\nIt\'s really quite a simple choice: Life, Death, or Los Angeles.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14269,33,'\nLearning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else\nfollows in the same way.\n\t\t-- Alan J. Perlis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14270,33,'\nLike so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made\nsense from things she found in gift shops.\n\t\t-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14271,33,'\nLikewise, the national appetizer, brine-cured herring with raw onions,\nwins few friends, Germans excepted.\n\t\t-- Darwin Porter \"Scandinavia On $50 A Day\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14272,33,'\nLiving in LA is like not having a date on Saturday night.\n\t\t-- Candice Bergen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14273,33,'\nLiving in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that\nnobody else wants.\n\t\t-- Andy Warhol\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14274,33,'\nMinnesota --\n\thome of the blonde hair and blue ears.\n\tmosquito supplier to the free world.\n\tcome fall in love with a loon.\n\twhere visitors turn blue with envy.\n\tone day it\'s warm, the rest of the year it\'s cold.\n\tland of many cultures -- mostly throat.\n\twhere the elite meet sleet.\n\tglove it or leave it.\n\tmany are cold, but few are frozen.\n\tland of the ski and home of the crazed.\n\tland of 10,000 Petersons.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14275,33,'\nMoishe Margolies, who weighed all of 105 pounds and stood an even five feet\nin his socks, was taking his first airplane trip. He took a seat next to a\nhulking bruiser of a man who happened to be the heavyweight champion of\nthe world.  Little Moishe was uneasy enough before he even entered the plane,\nbut now the roar of the engines and the great height absolutely terrified him.\nSo frightened did he become that his stomach turned over and he threw up all\nover the muscular giant siting beside him.  Fortunately, at least for Moishe,\nthe man was sound asleep.  But now the little man had another problem.  How in\nthe world would he ever explain the situation to the burly brute when he\nawakened?  The sudden voice of the stewardess on the plane\'s intercom, finally\nwoke the bruiser, and Moishe, his heart in his mouth, rose to the occasion.\n\t\"Feeling better now?\" he asked solicitously.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14276,33,'\nMonterey... is decidedly the pleasantest and most civilized-looking place\nin California ... [it] is also a great place for cock-fighting, gambling\nof all sorts, fandangos, and various kinds of amusements and knavery.\n\t\t-- Richard Henry Dama, \"Two Years Before the Mast\", 1840\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14277,33,'\nMost Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.\n\t\t-- Richard Lewis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14278,33,'\nMy godda bless, never I see sucha people.\n\t\t-- Signor Piozzi, quoted by Cecilia Thrale\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14279,33,'\nNew York is real.  The rest is done with mirrors.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14280,33,'\nNew York now leads the world\'s great cities in the number of people around\nwhom you shouldn\'t make a sudden move.\n\t\t-- David Letterman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14281,33,'\nNo matter what other nations may say about the United States,\nimmigration is still the sincerest form of flattery.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14282,33,'\n\"Now the Lord God planted a garden East of Whittier in a place called\nYorba Linda, and out of the ground he made to grow orange trees that\nwere good for food and the fruits thereof he labeled SUNKIST ...\"\n\t\t-- \"The Begatting of a President\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14283,33,'\nOn the night before her family moved from Kansas to California, the little\ngirl knelt by her bed to say her prayers.  \"God bless Mommy and Daddy and\nKeith and Kim,\" she said.  As she began to get up, she quickly added, \"Oh,\nand God, this is goodbye.  We\'re moving to Hollywood.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14284,33,'\nOn the whole, I\'d rather be in Philadelphia.\n\t\t-- W.C. Fields\' epitaph\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14285,33,'\nOne of the rules of Busmanship, New York style, is never surrender your\nseat to another passenger.  This may seem callous, but it is the best\nway, really.  If one passenger were to give a seat to someone who fainted\nin the aisle, say, the others on the bus would become disoriented and\nimagine they were in Topeka Kansas.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14286,33,'\npaak, n:\tA stadium or inclosed playing field. To put or leave (a\n\t\t\ta vehicle) for a time in a certain location.\npatato, n:\tThe starchy, edible tuber of a widely cultivated plant.\nSeptemba, n:\tThe 9th month of the year.\nshua, n:\tHaving no doubt; certain.\nsista, n:\tA female having the same mother and father as the speaker.\ntamato, n:\tA fleshy, smooth-skinned reddish fruit eaten in salads\n\t\t\tor as a vegetable.\ntroopa, n:\tA state policeman.\nWista, n:\tA city in central Masschewsetts.\nyaad, n:\tA tract of ground adjacent to a building.\n\t\t-- Massachewsetts Unabridged Dictionary\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14287,33,'\nPerhaps, after all, America never has been discovered.  I myself would\nsay that it had merely been detected.\n\t\t-- Oscar Wilde\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14288,33,'\nPhiladelphia is not dull -- it just seems so because it is next to\nexciting Camden, New Jersey.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14289,33,'\nProvidence, New Jersey, is one of the few cities where Velveeta cheese\nappears on the gourmet shelf.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14290,33,'\nRoumanian-Yiddish cooking has killed more Jews than Hitler.\n\t\t-- Zero Mostel\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14291,33,'\nSan Francisco isn\'t what it used to be, and it never was.\n\t\t-- Herb Caen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14292,33,'\nSeattle is so wet that people protect their property with watch-ducks.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14293,33,'\nSeems that a pollster was taking a worldwide opinion poll.\nHer question was, \"Excuse me; what\'s your opinion on the meat shortage?\"\n\nIn Texas, the answer was \"What\'s a shortage?\"\nIn Poland, the answer was \"What\'s meat?\"\nIn the Soviet Union, the answer was \"What\'s an opinion?\"\nIn New York City, the answer was \"What\'s excuse me?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14294,33,'\n\tSome 1500 miles west of the Big Apple we find the Minneapple, a\nhaven of tranquility in troubled times.  It\'s a good town, a civilized town.\nA town where they still know how to get your shirts back by Thursday.  Let\nthe Big Apple have the feats of \"Broadway Joe\" Namath.  We have known the\nstolid but steady Killebrew.  Listening to Cole Porter over a dry martini\nmay well suit those unlucky enough never to have heard the Whoopee John Polka\nBand and never to have shared a pitcher of 3.2 Grain Belt Beer.  The loss is\ntheirs.  And the Big Apple has yet to bake the bagel that can match peanut\nbutter on lefse.  Here is a town where the major urban problem is dutch elm\ndisease and the number one crime is overtime parking.  We boast more theater\nper capita than the Big Apple.  We go to see, not to be seen.  We go even\nwhen we must shovel ten inches of snow from the driveway to get there.  Indeed\nthe winters are fierce.  But then comes the marvel of the Minneapple summer.\nPeople flock to the city\'s lakes to frolic and rejoice at the sight of so\nmuch happy humanity free from the bonds of the traditional down-filled parka.\nHere\'s to the Minneapple.  And to its people.  Our flair for style is balanced\nby a healthy respect for wind chill factors.\n\tAnd we always, always eat our vegetables.\n\tThis is the Minneapple.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14295,33,'\nSomeone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York\nCity.  One is \"Hey, taxi.\"  Two is, \"What train do I take to get to\nBloomingdale\'s?\"  And three is, \"Don\'t worry.  It\'s just a flesh wound.\"\n\t\t-- David Letterman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14296,33,'\n\t\"Somewhere\", said Father Vittorini, \"did Blake not speak of the\nMachineries of Joy?  That is, did not God promote environments, then\nintimidate these Natures by provoking the existence of flesh, toy men and\nwomen, such as are we all?  And thus happily sent forth, at our best, with\ngood grace and fine wit, on calm noons, in fair climes, are we not God\'s\nMachineries of Joy?\"\n\t\"If Blake said that\", said Father Brian, \"he never lived in Dublin.\"\n\t\t-- R. Bradbury, \"The Machineries of Joy\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14297,33,'\nThe Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen\nin the image of Englishmen.\n\t\t-- Winston Churchill, 1942\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14298,33,'\nThe American nation in the sixth ward is a fine people; they love the\neagle -- on the back of a dollar.\n\t\t-- Finlay Peter Dunne\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14299,33,'\nThe Anglo-Saxon conscience does not prevent the Anglo-Saxon from\nsinning, it merely prevents him from enjoying his sin.\n\t\t--Salvador De Madariaga\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14300,33,'\nThe best case:\t   Get salary from America, build a house in England,\n\t\t\tlive with a Japanese wife, and eat Chinese food.\nPretty good case:  Get salary from England, build a house in America,\n\t\t\tlive with a Chinese wife, and eat Japanese food.\nThe worst case:    Get salary from China, build a house in Japan,\n\t\t\tlive with a British wife, and eat American food.\n\t\t--Bungei Shunju, a popular Japanese magazine\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14301,33,'\nThe best thing that comes out of Iowa is I-80.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14302,33,'\nThe big cities of America are becoming Third World countries.\n\t\t-- Nora Ephron\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14303,33,'\nThe British are coming!  The British are coming!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14304,33,'\nThe climate of Bombay is such that its inhabitants have to live elsewhere.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14305,33,'\nThe curse of the Irish is not that they don\'t know the words to a song --\nit\'s that they know them *___\b\b\ball*.\n\t\t-- Susan Dooley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14306,33,'\nThe Czechs announced after Sputnik that they, too, would launch a satellite.\nOf course, it would orbit Sputnik, not Earth!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14307,33,'\nThe difference between America and England is that the English think 100\nmiles is a long distance and the Americans think 100 years is a long time.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14308,33,'\nThe egg cream is psychologically the opposite of circumcision -- it\n*pleasurably* reaffirms your Jewishness.\n\t\t-- Mel Brooks\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14309,33,'\nThe English country gentleman galloping after a fox -- the unspeakable\nin full pursuit of the uneatable.\n\t\t-- Oscar Wilde, \"A Woman of No Importance\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14310,33,'\nThe English have no respect for their language, and will not teach\ntheir children to speak it.\n\t\t-- G. B. Shaw\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14311,33,'\nThe English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest\nabout it.\n\t\t-- James Agate, British film and drama critic\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14312,33,'\n[The French Riviera is] a sunny place for shady people.\n\t\t-- Somerset Maugham\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14313,33,'\nThe geographical center of Boston is in Roxbury.  Due north of the\ncenter we find the South End.  This is not to be confused with South\nBoston which lies directly east from the South End.  North of the South\nEnd is East Boston and southwest of East Boston is the North End.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14314,33,'\nThe goys have proven the following theorem...\n\t\t-- Physicist John von Neumann, at the start of a classroom\n\t\t   lecture.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14315,33,'\n\tThe Martian landed his saucer in Manhattan, and immediately upon \nemerging was approached by a panhandler.  \"Mister,\" said the man, \"can I \nhave a quarter?\"\n\tThe Martian asked, \"What\'s a quarter?\"\n\tThe panhandler thought a minute, brightened, then said, \"You\'re \nright!  Can I have a dollar?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14316,33,'\nThe mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.\n\t\t-- Andy Warhol\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14317,33,'\nThe most common given name in the world is Mohammad; the most common\nfamily name in the world is Chang.  Can you imagine the enormous number\nof people in the world named Mohammad Chang?\n\t\t-- Derek Wills\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14318,33,'\nThe only cultural advantage LA has over NY is that you can make a right\nturn on a red light.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14319,33,'\nThe San Diego Freeway.  Official Parking Lot of the 1984 Olympics!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14320,33,'\nThe trouble is, there is an endless supply of White Men, but there has\nalways been a limited number of Human Beings.\n\t\t-- Little Big Man\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14321,33,'\n\tThe world\'s most avid baseball fan (an Aggie) had arrived at the\nstadium for the first game of the World Series only to realize he had left\nhis ticket at home.  Not wanting to miss any of the first inning, he went\nto the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat.  After an hour\'s\nwait he was just a few feet from the booth when a voice called out, \"Hey,\nDave!\"  The Aggie looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find the owner\nof the voice -- with no success.   Then he realized he had lost his place in\nline and had to wait all over again.  When the fan finally bought his ticket,\nhe was thirsty, so he went to buy a drink.  The line at the concession stand\nwas long, too, but since the game hadn\'t started he decided to wait.  Just as\nhe got to the window, a voice called out, \"Hey, Dave!\"  Again the Aggie tried\nto find the voice -- but no luck.  He was very upset as he got back in line\nfor his drink.  Finally the fan went to his seat, eager for the game to begin.\nAs he waited for the pitch, he heard the voice calling, \"Hey Dave!\" once more.\nFurious, he stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs,  \"My name isn\'t Dave!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14322,33,'\nThen there was the Formosan bartender named Taiwan-On.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14323,33,'\nThere *__\b\bis* intelligent life on Earth, but I leave for Texas on Monday.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14324,33,'\nThere are people who find it odd to eat four or five Chinese meals\nin a row; in China, I often remind them, there are a billion or so\npeople who find nothing odd about it.\n\t\t-- Calvin Trillin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14325,33,'\nThere is nothing wrong with Southern California that a rise in the\nocean level wouldn\'t cure.\n\t\t-- Ross MacDonald\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14326,33,'\nThere must be at least 500,000,000 rats in the United States; of course,\nI never heard the story before.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14327,33,'\n\tThere once was this swami who lived above a delicatessan.  Seems one\nday he decided to stop in downstairs for some fresh liver.  Well, the owner\nof the deli was a bit of a cheap-skate, and decided to pick up a little extra\nchange at his customer\'s expense.  Turning quietly to the counterman, he\nwhispered, \"Weigh down upon the swami\'s liver!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14328,33,'\nThere was this New Yorker that had a lifelong ambition to be an Texan.\nFortunately, he had an Texan friend and went to him for advice.  \"Mike,\nyou know I\'ve always wanted to be a Texan.  You\'re a *____\b\b\b\breal* Texan, what\nshould I do?\"\n\t\"Well,\" answered Mike, \"The first thing you\'ve got to do is look\nlike a Texan.  That means you have to dress right.  The second thing\nyou\'ve got to do is speak in a southern drawl.\"\n\t\"Thanks, Mike, I\'ll give it a try,\" replied the New Yorker.\n\tA few weeks passed and the New Yorker saunters into a store dressed\nin a ten-gallon hat, cowboy boots, Levi jeans and a bandanna.  \"Hey, there,\npardner, I\'d like some beef, not too rare, and some of them fresh biscuits,\"\nhe tells the counterman.\n\tThe guy behind the counter takes a long look at him and then says,\n\"You must be from New York.\"\n\tThe New Yorker blushes, and says, \"Well, yes, I am.  How did\nyou know?\"\n\t\"Because this is a hardware store.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14329,33,'\nThere\'s just something I don\'t like about Virginia; the state.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14330,33,'\nThere\'s something different about us -- different from people of Europe,\nAfrica, Asia ... a deep and abiding belief in the Easter Bunny.\n\t\t-- G. Gordon Liddy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14331,33,'\nThree Midwesterners, a Kansan, a Missourian and an Iowan,\nall appearing on a quiz program, were asked to complete this sentence:\n\"Old MacDonald had a . . .\"\n\n\t\"Old MacDonald had a carburetor,\" answered the Kansan.\n\t\"Sorry, that\'s wrong,\" the game show host said.\n\t\"Old MacDonald had a free brake alignment down at the\n\t\tservice station,\" said the Missourian.\n\t\"Wrong.\"\n\t\"Old MacDonald had a farm,\" said the Iowan.\n\t\"CORRECT!\" shouts the quizmaster.  \"Now for $100,000, spell \'farm.\'\"\n\t\"Easy,\" said the Iowan. \"E-I-E-I-O.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14332,33,'\nTip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.\n\t\t-- Frank Lloyd Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14333,33,'\nTo a Californian, a person must prove himself criminally insane before he\nis allowed to drive a taxi in New York.  For New York cabbies, honesty and\nstopping at red lights are both optional.\n\t-- From \"East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14334,33,'\nTo a Californian, all New Yorkers are cold; even in heat they rarely go\nabove fifty-eight degrees.  If you collapse on a street in New York, plan\nto spend a few days there.\n\t-- From \"East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14335,33,'\nTo a Californian, the basic difference between the people and the pigeons\nin New York is that the pigeons don\'t shit on each other.\n\t-- From \"East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14336,33,'\nTo a New Yorker, all Californians are blond, even the blacks.  There are,\nin fact, whole neighborhoods that are zoned only for blond people.  The\nonly way to tell the difference between California and Sweden is that the\nSwedes speak better English.\"\n\t-- From \"East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14337,33,'\nTo a New Yorker, the only California houses on the market for less than a\nmillion dollars are those on fire.  These generally go for six hundred\nthousand.\n\t-- From \"East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts\n');
