INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9686,23,'\nLe supposte per il mal di gola...  siamo sicuri che funzionino davvero?...\nVa be\' che il corpo umano e\' tutto collegato, pero\' allora ditemi che esiste\nanche lo sciroppo per il mal di culo...\n\t\t-- Andrea `Zuse\' Balestrero, \"Struscia la Novizia\", 1999\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9687,23,'\nAngela, 18 anni: \"E\' vero che il piacere femminile non dipende dalle dimensioni\ndell\'organo maschile?\".\nProf. Pussy: \"Gli ipodotati dicono che non dipende.  Gli iperdotati dicono\ninvece che dipende molto.  Sul piano scientifico, le terminazioni nervose sono\nmolto piu\' rade nell\'interno dell\'organo femminile, e questo e\' anche il motivo\nper cui le donne riescono a sopportare il dolore durante il parto.\nNel mio caso, modestamente, non c\'e\' differenza tra un rapporto sessuale e\nun parto.  A parte il verso di percorrenza.\nComunque, ricordate sempre che il nostro principale organo sessuale e\' il\ncervello.  Il che, d\'altro canto, non significa necessariamente che\nAlessia Merz sia asessuata...\".\nAncora Angela: \"Pero\', alla fine, non ha risposto alla domanda\".\nProf. Pussy: \"Senti, ho fatto di tutto per evitare che si capisse che il\ntuo ragazzo ce l\'ha piccolo!  Ma se tu insisti...\".\nGiacomo, 19 anni, esce piangendo dall\'aula, seguito premurosamente da\nAngela.\n\t\t-- Andrea `Zuse\' Balestrero, \"Struscia la Novizia\", 1999\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9688,23,'\nRosita, 18 anni, anoressica: \"Ai ragazzi piacciono piu\' le grasse o le magre?\".\nProf. Pussy: \"Esistono piu\' risposte a questa domanda.  Ed anche piu\' domande\nper ognuna delle possibili risposte.  Limitandoci soltanto alle prime:\n- Per le magre: quando, per un ragazzo, la propria fidanzata diventa cosi\'\nmagra da confonderla con il proprio pene, allora puo\' accadere che:\n  1.  il ragazzo e\' molto dolce, allora finisce con l\'accarezzarla\n      insistentemente;\n  2.  il ragazzo si chiede che fine abbia fatto la sua ragazza, e telefona\n      subito a qualcun\'altra.  Se la cosa ha un seguito, la prima ragazza\n      puo\' funzionare da preservativo per la seconda.\n- Per le grasse: quando, per un ragazzo, la propria fidanzata diventa cosi\'\ngrassa da confonderla con la propria casa, allora puo\' accadere che:\n  1.  il ragazzo si dimentica sempre qualcosa, e cosi\' entra ed esce in\n      continuazione (di solito dalla porta principale, ma se scorda le\n      chiavi puo\' non disdegnare di passare anche per qualche via\n      secondaria);\n  2.  il ragazzo la da\' in affitto in nero ad una famiglia di marocchini e\n      lui si fa una villa con piscina e cameriera ex-playmate.\n\t\t-- Andrea `Zuse\' Balestrero, \"Struscia la Novizia\", 1999\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9689,23,'\nAdelmo, 16 anni: \"Quanto deve durare un rapporto affinche\' l\'uomo non\nvenga...\".\nProf. Pussy: \"Eh?\".\nAncora Adelmo: \"... non venga definito come \"eiaculatore precoce\"?\".\nProf. Pussy: \"Non esiste una misura esatta.  Ma, mediamente, l\'uomo non\nviene piu\' definito \"eiaculatore precoce\" quando il rapporto e\' durato\ncosi\' tanto che quelle due parole sono scomparse dalla lingua italiana\".\nAdelmo, sconsolato, esce a testa bassa dall\'aula, e si dirige verso una\nlibreria che vende dizionari aggiornati.\n\t\t-- Andrea `Zuse\' Balestrero, \"Struscia la Novizia\", 1999\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9690,23,'\nLodovico, 17 anni: \"Cos\'e\' la multiorgasmia femminile?\".\nProf. Pussy: \"Non e\' facile da spiegare ma, in parole povere, e\' una malattia\ndi cui soffrono tutte quelle che non ce l\'hanno\".\nAncora Lodovico: \"Ma si puo\' curare?\".\nProf. Pussy: \"Sta tranquillo.  Anche se la tua ragazza ce l\'ha, di certo\nnon te la attacchera\' mai!\".\nLodovico corre a telefonare alla sua ragazza, per farla ricoverare in\nospedale.\n\t\t-- Andrea `Zuse\' Balestrero, \"Struscia la Novizia\", 1999\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9691,23,'\nNiccolo\', 18 anni: \"Ho letto da qualche parte che le parole sono molto\nimportanti, anche in *quei* momenti.  Ma e\' davvero cosi\'?\".\nProf. Pussy: \"Il linguaggio e\' una componente fondamentale dell\'eros moderno.\nSenza contare che, in *quei* momenti, anche per le ragazze piu\' poliglotte e\'\npossibile stabilire con inequivocabile certezza il Paese di origine: se la\nragazza dice \"Ah, si\'\", sta usando la lingua italiana, quindi e\' italiana;\nse la ragazza dice \"Oh, yes\", sta usando la lingua inglese, quindi e\' inglese;\nse la ragazza dice \"Uh, oui\", sta usando la lingua francese, quindi e\'\nfrancese; se la ragazza non dice niente, sta usando la mia lingua, quindi e\'\nmia\".\nAncora Niccolo\': \"Ma io volevo dire questo: secondo lei, qual e\' la cosa piu\'\neccitante che si possa dire ad una donna in certi momenti?\".\nProf. Pussy: \"Puoi provare con: \'\'Cara, lo sai che stasera in televisione\nc\'e\' Davide Mengacci?\'\'.  Lei spegnera\' subito il televisore.  E\' il primo\npasso concreto verso qualcosa di molto piu\' divertente...\nAd ogni modo, vieni oggi pomeriggio in aula magna per l\'incontro finale:\nparlero\' anche di questo\".\nNiccolo\' si precipita all\'edicola piu\' vicina per vedere i palinsesti\ntelevisivi del giorno.\n\t\t-- Andrea `Zuse\' Balestrero, \"Struscia la Novizia\", 1999\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9692,23,'\nKaren, 17 anni: \"E\' vero che se tengo per troppo tempo il telefonino appeso\nalla cintura rischio di far male alla salute del mio bambin...  oh, no, non\nsono incinta!  Non fraintendetemi...  Non e\' vero che sono incinta!  No!\nNOO!  Non guardatemi cosi\'!  Non aspetto un bambinooo!!\", e scappa in cortile\ncoprendosi l\'addome con lo zaino.\n\t\t-- Andrea `Zuse\' Balestrero, \"Struscia la Novizia\", 1999\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9693,23,'\nProf. Pussy: \"Signorina Gina Va, pare proprio che siamo rimasti soli...\".\nSig.rina Gina Va, insegnante, 29 anni: \"Be\', forse gli studenti sono andati\na fare delle fotocopie delle sue lezioni...\".\nProf. Pussy: \"Se a qualcuna serve una mano per riprodurle...  be\', io sono\nimbattibile nel campo della riproduzione\".\n\t\t-- Andrea `Zuse\' Balestrero, \"Struscia la Novizia\", 1999\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9694,23,'\nEDITORIALE:\n\tQuesta edizione di Struscia la Novizia esce ritardata per adeguarsi\nalla media dei suoi lettori.\n(Lo so, e\' un po\' troppo luttazziana, ma... concedetemela, come dico sempre\nalle comitive di ragazze d\'alto lignaggio...)\n\t\t-- Andrea `Zuse\' Balestrero, \"Struscia la Novizia\", 1999\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9695,23,'\n\"SE INCONTRATE UN BIVIO, IMBOCCATELO\" (Yogi Berra):\n\tE\' morto lo stilista Nicola Trussardi, dopo essersi schiantato con\nla sua auto sul guard-rail in uscita a forte velocita\' dalla tangenziale di\nMilano.  Ai fotografi e\' stato impedito di riprenderlo: indossava Armani.\n\tPiccole polemiche sull\'airbag della Mercedes, che non si e\' aperto.\nMa dalla casa automobilistica hanno subito risposto: \"E\' normale che non\nsi sia aperto, visto che chi era alla guida non aveva allacciato le\ncinture di sicurezza.  In un caso del genere, l\'airbag lo avrebbe anche\npotuto ammazzare\".\n\t\t-- Andrea `Zuse\' Balestrero, \"Struscia la Novizia\", 1999\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9696,23,'\nSEX TREK:\n\tAvete ammirato il cielo stellato dell\'altra notte?  Era veramente\nstupendo.  Pensate, era talmente romantico che i ladri d\'auto scassinavano\nle serrature dei Porsche con i grimaldelli a forma di cuore.\n\tEra una di quelle notti che, se ti metti a guardarla abbracciato alla\ntua tipa, finisci sicuramente col praticarle un\'inseminazione naturale.\n\tCerto, puoi sempre evitare le conseguenze, puoi scampartela dal\nmetterla incinta: puoi ricorrere all\'anticoncezionale.  L\'unico dubbio che\nti viene, pero\', e\' proprio guardando questo nostro universo meraviglioso.\nE ad un certo punto ti chiedi se davvero stai facendo la cosa giusta...\nSe davvero non stai sbagliando il tuo modo di agire...  in pratica, se\nil tuo anticoncezionale e\' quello giusto...\n\tVoglio dire, ci sara\' un motivo se quasi tutte le galassie sono a\nspirale e nessuna a profilattico, no?\n\t\t-- Andrea `Zuse\' Balestrero, \"Struscia la Novizia\", 1999\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9697,23,'\nASPIRANTE ATTRICE (O ATTRICE ASPIRANTE):\n\tLa notizia non trova ancora conferma, ma, secondo le voci che circolano\nnegli ambienti cinematografici, Monica Lewinsky sarebbe stata contattata dalla\nFilmauro per entrare nel cast di uno dei prossimi film-commedia all\'italiana\ndella serie \"Vacanze di Natale\" o simili.  Be\', la scelta non e\' del tutto\ncasuale: Monica ha gia\' dato grandi prove di recitazione durante le varie\ninterviste e le sedute in tribunale.  Pero\' Bill Clinton ha recitato molto\nmeglio.  Perche\' non hanno contattato lui?\n\t\t-- Andrea `Zuse\' Balestrero, \"Struscia la Novizia\", 1999\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9698,23,'\nCOUNT-DOWN DEMOGRAFICO:\n\tAvete ciulato?  Avete messo incinta vostra moglie, o quella del vostro\nmigliore amico?  Se non lo avete ancora fatto, precipitatevi subito a letto.\nSe riuscite a farle avere un parto prematuro, di otto mesi, riuscirete\negualmente a far nascere vostro figlio il 1^ gennaio dell\'anno 2000.\nIn effetti, si prevede un turno massacrante per gli ostetrici che lavoreranno\nil primo giorno del prossimo anno.  Sono molte le coppie che hanno pianificato\nil concepimento per poter far nascere il proprio figlio in quella data;\naddirittura, conosco un futuro padre che ha fatto i suoi conti con estrema\nprecisione: \"Si\', lo faremo nascere il 1^ gennaio, alle 13:45.  Sai, non mi\nvoglio perdere il Concerto di Capodanno, prima, e alle 14:00 ho un appuntamento\ncon amici per andare a sciare\".\n\tBe\', se non altro, nascera\' in un giorno di festa.  Ne so qualcosa io,\nche son saltato fuori nelle primissime ore del 25 aprile, e per il mio\nprivilegiato compleanno non sono mai andato a scuola, ne\' ho mai lavorato.\nIl problema e\' che a certa gente un compleanno cosi\' capita 365 volte l\'anno...\nAvete notato che un sacco di gente, come me, e\' nata di notte o nelle prime ore\ndel mattino?  Tantissimi.  Tutti nati di notte, quando fuori e\' ancora buio.\nNon so quale ne sia il motivo bioscientifico, ma almeno ditemi perche\' cavolo\nsi dice \"venire alla luce\", quando fuori ci sono le tenebre?\n\t\t-- Andrea `Zuse\' Balestrero, \"Struscia la Novizia\", 1999\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9699,23,'\nIL GINECOFILO CONSIGLIA:  COSA DIRE AD UNA DONNA:\nE\' importante come ci si presenta.  Ad esempio, se siete conosciuti come\nspietati iettatori, potete avvicinarla e dirle: \"Ciao, sono Malaugurio,\ne questo e\' il mio uccello\".\nBisogna saper misurare le frasi che si dicono, ponderando attentamente quando\ne\' il momento di interromperle.  Ad esempio: dire \"Posso offrirti un caffe\'?\nUn gelato?  Il mio cuore?\" va bene; continuare con \"... O un altro organo a\ntua scelta?\" puo\' invece essere nefasto.  Specie se lei ha urgenza di un\ntrapianto di rene.\nSe lei si chiama Penelope, fate molta attenzione quando scegliete il\ndiminutivo con cui la chiamerete sempre.\n\t\t-- Andrea `Zuse\' Balestrero, \"Struscia la Novizia\", 1999\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9700,23,'\nIL GINECOFILO CONSIGLIA:  COSA DIRE AD UNA DONNA:\nCon la vostra donna siate diretti, ma mai volgari: ditele \"Voglio fare\nsesso con te\" in una lingua che lei non capisce.\nSiate sinceri ed onesti.  Dopo.\nSiate sempre voi stessi.  E, per gli schizofrenici, siatelo sempre una\npersona alla volta.\n\t\t-- Andrea `Zuse\' Balestrero, \"Struscia la Novizia\", 1999\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9701,23,'\nIL GINECOFILO CONSIGLIA:  COSA DIRE AD UNA DONNA:\n[...]  Infine, se tutto il resto fallisce, eccovi le tre frasi da dire per\nconquistare con certezza matematica una donna:\n 1.  Se ti avesse conosciuto Baglioni, avrebbe aspettato di morire per\npoter cantare la tua bellezza al Paradiso.  Avresti fatto la felicita\' di\ntutti i bagarini del PalaGesu\', che tra l\'altro ha una pessima acustica.\n 2.  Il mio amore per te e\' grande almeno quanto il mio naso.\nPiacere, Pinocchio.\n 3.  Se esistesse un posto sulla Terra dove poter ammirare contemporaneamente\nil piu\' rosso dei tramonti e la piu\' vitale delle albe, loro due, insieme,\nnon sarebbero mai belli quanto i tuoi occhi.  Fatti amputare le palpebre.\n\t\t-- Andrea `Zuse\' Balestrero, \"Struscia la Novizia\", 1999\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9702,23,'\nIL GINECOFILO CONSIGLIA:\nNadia, 17 anni: \"Come si fa a capire quanto si e\' veramente innamorati?\".\nProf. Pussy: \"Da tante piccole cose, da tanti insignificanti dettagli: sei\nveramente innamorata quanto i tuoi voti a scuola crollano improvvisamente,\nquando la tua bolletta del telefono raddoppia senza motivo apparente, o quando\nil tuo ragazzo se lo cosparge di Attack perche\' non vuole che tu te ne vada\ndopo aver fatto l\'amore\".\n\t\t-- Andrea `Zuse\' Balestrero, \"Struscia la Novizia\", 1999\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9703,23,'\nIL GINECOFILO CONSIGLIA:\n\tRicordate la piu\' importante di tutte le mie massime: \"Non so se\ni fratelli Bernoulli fossero dei gran scopatori, ma la legge di Bernoulli\ndei grandi numeri funziona!\".\n\tCorollario: \"Ai tempi dei Bernoulli non c\'era l\'AIDS\".\n\t\t-- Andrea `Zuse\' Balestrero, \"Struscia la Novizia\", 1999\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9704,24,'7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure)\n\tThe Bionic Dog drinks too much and kicks over the National\n\tRedwood Forest.\n\n7:30, Channel 8: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure)\n\tThe Bionic Dog gets a hormonal short-circuit and violates the\n\tMann Act with an interstate Greyhound bus.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9705,24,'\nA \"critic\" is a man who creates nothing and thereby feels qualified to judge\nthe work of creative men. There is logic in this; he is unbiased -- he hates\nall creative people equally.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9706,24,'\nA celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9707,24,'\n\tA circus foreman was making the rounds inspecting the big top when\na scrawny little man entered the tent and walked up to him.  \"Are you the\nforeman around here?\" he asked timidly.  \"I\'d like to join your circus; I\nhave what I think is a pretty good act.\"\n\tThe foreman nodded assent, whereupon the little man hurried over to\nthe main pole and rapidly climbed up to the very tip-top of the big top.\nDrawing a deep breath, he hurled himself off into the air and began flapping\nhis arms furiously.  Amazingly, rather than plummeting to his death the little\nman began to fly all around the poles, lines, trapezes and other obstacles,\nperforming astounding feats of aerobatics which ended in a long power dive\nfrom the top of the tent, pulling up into a gentle feet-first landing beside\nthe foreman, who had been nonchalantly watching the whole time.\n\t\"Well,\" puffed the little man.  \"What do you think?\"\n\t\"That\'s all you do?\" answered the foreman scornfully.  \"Bird\nimitations?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9708,24,'\nA copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned\nthings is ample.\n\t\t-- Rebecca West\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9709,24,'\nA critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.\n\t\t-- Whitney Balliett\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9710,24,'\nA diva who specializes in risque arias is an off-coloratura soprano.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9711,24,'\nA drama critic is a person who surprises a playwright by informing him\nwhat he meant.\n\t\t-- Wilson Mizner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9712,24,'\nA fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of\nmarble; then you chip away everything that doesn\'t look like an elephant.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9713,24,'\n\tA hard-luck actor who appeared in one coloossal disaster after another\nfinally got a break, a broken leg to be exact.  Someone pointed out that it\'s\nthe first time the poor fellow\'s been in the same cast for more than a week.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9714,24,'\nA Hollywood producer calls a friend, another producer on the phone.\n\t\"Hello?\" his friend answers.\n\t\"Hi!\" says the man.  \"This is Bob, how are you doing?\"\n\t\"Oh,\" says the friend, \"I\'m doing great!  I just sold a screenplay\nfor two hundred thousand dollars.  I\'ve started a novel adaptation and the\nstudio advanced me fifty thousand dollars on it.  I also have a television\nseries coming on next week, and everyone says it\'s going to be a big hit!\nI\'m doing *great*!  How are you?\"\n\t\"Okay,\" says the producer, \"give me a call when he leaves.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9715,24,'\nA man paints with his brains and not with his hands.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9716,24,'\n\tA musical reviewer admitted he always praised the first show of a\nnew theatrical season.  \"Who am I to stone the first cast?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9717,24,'\n\tA musician of more ambition than talent composed an elegy at\nthe death of composer Edward MacDowell.  She played the elegy for the\npianist Josef Hoffman, then asked his opinion.  \"Well, it\'s quite\nnice,\" he replied, but don\'t you think it would be better if...\"\n\t\"If what?\" asked the composer.\n\t\"If ... if you had died and MacDowell had written the elegy?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9718,24,'\nA poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9719,24,'\nA rose is a rose is a rose.  Just ask Jean Marsh, known to millions of\nPBS viewers in the \'70s as Rose, the maid on the BBC export \"Upstairs,\nDownstairs.\"  Though Marsh has since gone on to other projects, ... it\'s\nwith Rose she\'s forever identified.  So much so that she even likes to\njoke about having one named after her, a distinction not without its\ndrawbacks.  \"I was very flattered when I heard about it, but when I looked\nup the official description, it said, `Jean Marsh: pale peach, not very\ngood in beds; better up against a wall.\'  I want to tell you that\'s not\ntrue.  I\'m very good in beds as well.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9720,24,'\nA sequel is an admission that you\'ve been reduced to imitating yourself.\n\t\t-- Don Marquis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9721,24,'\n\tA shy teenage boy finally worked up the nerve to give a gift to\nMadonna, a young puppy.  It hitched its waggin\' to a star.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9722,24,'\nA team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.\n\t\t-- Michael Winner, British film director\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9723,24,'\nA true artist will let his wife starve, his children go barefoot, his mother\ndrudge for his living at seventy, sooner than work at anything but his art.\n\t\t-- Shaw\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9724,24,'\nA writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call\nwhat he writes fiction.\n\t\t-- William Faulkner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9725,24,'\nA yawn is a silent shout.\n\t\t-- G.K. Chesterton\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9726,24,'\nA young man wrote to Mozart and said:\n\nQ: \"Herr Mozart, I am thinking of writing symphonies. Can you give me any\n   suggestions as to how to get started?\"\nA: \"A symphony is a very complex musical form, perhaps you should begin with\n   some simple lieder and work your way up to a symphony.\"\nQ: \"But Herr Mozart, you were writing symphonies when you were 8 years old.\"\nA: \"But I never asked anybody how.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9727,24,'\nActing is an art which consists of keeping the audience from coughing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9728,24,'\nActing is not very hard.  The most important things are to be able to laugh\nand cry.  If I have to cry, I think of my sex life.  And if I have to laugh,\nwell, I think of my sex life.\n\t\t-- Glenda Jackson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9729,24,'\nActor\t\t\tReal Name\n\nBoris Karloff\t\tWilliam Henry Pratt\nCary Grant\t\tArchibald Leach\nEdward G. Robinson\tEmmanual Goldenburg\nGene Wilder\t\tGerald Silberman\nJohn Wayne\t\tMarion Morrison\nKirk Douglas\t\tIssur Danielovitch\nRichard Burton\t\tRichard Jenkins Jr.\nRoy Rogers\t\tLeonard Slye\nWoody Allen\t\tAllen Stewart Konigsberg\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9730,24,'\nActors will happen even in the best-regulated families.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9731,24,'\nActresses will happen in the best regulated families.\n\t\t-- Addison Mizner and Oliver Herford, \"The Entirely\n\t\tNew Cynic\'s Calendar\", 1905\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9732,24,'\nAdding sound to movies would be like putting lipstick on the Venus de Milo.\n\t\t-- actress Mary Pickford, 1925\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9733,24,'\nAdhere to your own act, and congratulate yourself if you have done something\nstrange and extravagant, and broken the monotony of a decorous age.\n\t\t-- Ralph Waldo Emerson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9734,24,'\nAfter a few boring years, socially meaningful rock \'n\' roll died out. It was\nreplaced by disco, which offers no guidance to any form of life more\nadvanced than the lichen family.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Kids Today: They Don\'t Know Dum Diddly Do\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9735,24,'\nAlex Haley was adopted!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9736,24,'\nAll art is but imitation of nature.\n\t\t-- Lucius Annaeus Seneca\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9737,24,'\nAn actor\'s a guy who if you ain\'t talkin\' about him, ain\'t listening.\n\t\t-- Marlon Brando\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9738,24,'\nAn artist should be fit for the best society and keep out of it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9739,24,'\nAnother possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but\ntelevision\'s message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and\nworld peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers\nwhiter teeth *___\b\b\band* fresher breath.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Kids Today: They Don\'t Know Dum Diddly Do\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9740,24,'\nAny dramatic series the producers want us to take seriously as a representation\nof contemporary reality cannot be taken seriously as a representation of\nanything -- except a show to be ignored by anyone capable of sitting upright\nin a chair and chewing gum simultaneously.\n\t\t-- Richard Schickel\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9741,24,'\nAny fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise person to be able to sell it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9742,24,'\n\t\"Are you police officers?\"\n\t\"No, ma\'am.  We\'re musicians.\"\n\t\t-- The Blues Brothers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9743,24,'\nAround the turn of this century, a composer named Camille Saint-Saens wrote\na satirical zoological-fantasy called \"Le Carnaval des Animaux.\"  Aside from\none movement of this piece, \"The Swan\", Saint-Saens didn\'t allow this work\nto be published or even performed until a year had elapsed after his death.\n(He died in 1921.)\n\tMost of us know the \"Swan\" movement rather well, with its smooth,\nflowing cello melody against a calm background; but I\'ve been having this\nfantasy...\n\tWhat if he had written this piece with lyrics, as a song to be sung?\nAnd, further, what if he had accompanied this song with a musical saw?  (This\ninstrument really does exist, often played by percussionists!)  Then the\npiece would be better known as:\n\tSAINT-SAENS\' SAW SONG \"SWAN\"!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9744,24,'\nArt is a jealous mistress.\n\t\t-- Ralph Waldo Emerson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9745,24,'\nArt is a lie which makes us realize the truth.\n\t\t-- Picasso\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9746,24,'\nArt is anything you can get away with.\n\t\t-- Marshall McLuhan.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9747,24,'\nArt is either plagiarism or revolution.\n\t\t-- Paul Gauguin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9748,24,'\nArt is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.\n\t\t-- Chazal\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9749,24,'\nArt is the tree of life.  Science is the tree of death.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9750,24,'\nAs a goatherd learns his trade by goat, so a writer learns his trade by wrote.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9751,24,'\nAsking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a\nlamp-post how it feels about dogs.\n\t\t-- Christopher Hampton\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9752,24,'\nAuthors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever\ndepths they were once able to plumb.\n\t\t-- Stanley Kaufman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9753,24,'\nAuthors are easy to get on with -- if you\'re fond of children.\n\t\t-- Michael Joseph, \"Observer\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9754,24,'\nBahdges?  We don\'t need no stinkin\' bahdges!\n\t\t-- \"The Treasure of Sierra Madre\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9755,24,'\nBe regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent\nand original in your work.\n\t\t-- Flaubert\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9756,24,'\nBeing a mime means never having to say you\'re sorry.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9757,24,'\n\"Being disintegrated makes me ve-ry an-gry!\" <huff, huff>\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9758,24,'\nBen, why didn\'t you tell me?\n\t\t-- Luke Skywalker\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9759,24,'\n\"Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence\"\n\t\t-- Time Bandits\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9760,24,'\nBest Mistakes In Films\n\tIn his \"Filmgoer\'s Companion\", Mr. Leslie Halliwell helpfully lists\nfour of the cinema\'s greatest moments which you should get to see if at all\npossible.\n\tIn \"Carmen Jones\", the camera tracks with Dorothy Dandridge down a\nstreet; and the entire film crew is reflected in the shop window.\n\tIn \"The Wrong Box\", the roofs of Victorian London are emblazoned\nwith television aerials.\n\tIn \"Decameron Nights\", Louis Jourdain stands on the deck of his\nfourteenth century pirate ship; and a white lorry trundles down the hill\nin the background.\n\tIn \"Viking Queen\", set in the times of Boadicea, a wrist watch is\nclearly visible on one of the leading characters.\n\t\t-- Stephen Pile, \"The Book of Heroic Failures\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9761,24,'\nBS:\tYou remind me of a man.\nB:\tWhat man?\nBS:\tThe man with the power.\nB:\tWhat power?\nBS:\tThe power of voodoo.\nB:\tVoodoo?\nBS:\tYou do.\nB:\tDo what?\nBS:\tRemind me of a man.\nB:\tWhat man?\nBS:\tThe man with the power...\n\t\t-- Cary Grant, \"The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9762,24,'\nBurnt Sienna.  That\'s the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.\n\t\t-- Ken Weaver\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9763,24,'\nBut if you wish at once to do nothing and to be respectable\nnowdays, the best pretext is to be at work on some profound study.\n\t\t-- Leslie Stephen, \"Sketches from Cambridge\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9764,24,'\nBut you shall not escape my iambics.\n\t\t-- Gaius Valerius Catullus\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9765,24,'\nCan\'t act.  Slightly bald.  Also dances.\n\t\t-- RKO executive, reacting to Fred Astaire\'s screen test.\n\t\t   Cerf/Navasky, \"The Experts Speak\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9766,24,'\nClassical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.\n\t\t-- Kin Hubbard, \"Abe Martin\'s Sayings\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9767,24,'\nDarth Vader sleeps with a Teddywookie.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9768,24,'\nDarth Vader!  Only you would be so bold!\n\t\t-- Princess Leia Organa\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9769,24,'\nDid you know that the voice tapes easily identify the Russian pilot\nthat shot down the Korean jet?  At one point he definitely states:\n\n\t\"Natasha!  First we shoot jet, then we go after moose and squirrel.\"\n\n\t\t-- ihuxw!tommyo\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9770,24,'\nDisco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9771,24,'\nDon\'t everyone thank me at once!\n\t\t-- Han Solo\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9772,24,'\nDustin Farnum:\tWhy, yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats!\nOliver Herford:\tWonderful!  Wonderful!  Clever of you to think of it!\n\t\t-- Brian Herbert, \"Classic Comebacks\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9773,24,'\nDying is easy.  Comedy is difficult.\n\t\t-- Actor Edmond Gween, on his deathbed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9774,24,'\nE.T. GO HOME!!!  (And take your Smurfs with you.)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9775,24,'\nEd Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.\n\t\t-- Fred Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9776,24,'\nEeny, Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak!\n\t\t-- Bullwinkle Moose\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9777,24,'\nElwood:  What kind of music do you get here ma\'am?\nBarmaid: Why, we get both kinds of music, Country and Western.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9778,24,'\nEver get the feeling that the world\'s on tape and one of the reels is missing?\n\t\t-- Rich Little\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9779,24,'\nEveryone is in the best seat.\n\t\t-- John Cage\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9780,24,'\nFame lost its appeal for me when I went into a public restroom and an\nautograph seeker handed me a pen and paper under the stall door.\n\t\t-- Marlo Thomas\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9781,24,'\nFast ship?  You mean you\'ve never heard of the Millennium Falcon?\n\t\t-- Han Solo\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9782,24,'\n\"First things first -- but not necessarily in that order\"\n\t\t-- The Doctor, \"Doctor Who\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9783,24,'\nFools rush in -- and get the best seats in the house.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9784,24,'\nFor myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at\nthe results of this evening\'s experiments.  Astonished at the wonderful\npower you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous\nand bad music may be put on record forever.\n\t\t-- Sir Arthur Sullivan, message to Edison, 1888\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9785,24,'\nFor the next hour, WE will control all that you see and hear.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9786,24,'\nForms follow function, and often obliterate it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9787,24,'\nFORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #12\n\nO.E.D.:\t\t\t\tDavid Lean, 1969, 3 hours 30 min.\n\n\tLean\'s version of the Oxford Dictionary has been accused of\n\tshallowness in its treatment of a complete work.  Omar Sharif\n\ttends to overact as aardvark, but Alec Guiness is solid in\n\tthe role of abbacy.  As usual, the photography is stunning.\n\tWith Julie Christie.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9788,24,'\nFORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #3\n\nMIRACLE ON 42ND STREET:\n\tSanta Claus, in the off season, follows his heart\'s desire and\n\ttries to make it big on Broadway.  Santa sings and dances his way\n\tinto your heart.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9789,24,'\nFORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #5\n\nTHE ATOMIC GRANDMOTHER:\n\tThis humorous but heart-warming story tells of an elderly woman\n\tforced to work at a nuclear power plant in order to help the family\n\tmake ends meet.  At night, granny sits on the porch, tells tales\n\tof her colorful past, and the family uses her to cook barbecues\n\tand to power small electrical appliances.  Maureen Stapleton gives\n\ta glowing performance.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9790,24,'\nFORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #9\n\nTHE PARKING PROBLEM IN PARIS:\tJean-Luc Godard, 1971, 7 hours 18 min.\n\n\tGodard\'s meditation on the topic has been described as\n\teverything from \"timeless\" to \"endless.\"  (Remade by Gene\n\tWilder as NO PLACE TO PARK.)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9791,24,'\nFORTUNE\'S FUN FACTS TO KNOW AND TELL:\t\t#37\n\tCan you name the seven seas?\n\t\tAntartic, Artic, North Atlantic, South Atlantic, Indian,\n\t\tNorth Pacific, South Pacific.\n\tCan you name the seven dwarfs from Snow White?\n\t\tDoc, Dopey, Sneezy, Happy, Grumpy, Sleepy and Bashful.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9792,24,'\nFremen add life to spice!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9793,24,'\n\t\t\t\tFROM THE DESK OF\n\t\t\t\tDorothy Gale\n\n\tAuntie Em:\n\t\tHate you.\n\t\tHate Kansas.\n\t\tTaking the dog.\n\t\t\tDorothy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9794,24,'\nG. B. Shaw to William Douglas Home: \"Go on writing plays, my boy.  One\nof these days a London producer will go into his office and say to his\nsecretary, `Is there a play from Shaw this morning?\' and when she says\n`No,\' he will say, `Well, then we\'ll have to start on the rubbish.\' And\nthat\'s your chance, my boy.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9795,24,'\nGauls! We have nothing to fear; except perhaps that the sky may fall on\nour heads tomorrow.  But as we all know, tomorrow never comes!!\n\t\t-- Adventures of Asterix\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9796,24,'\nGeorge Bernard Shaw once sent two tickets to the opening night of one of\nhis plays to Winston Churchill with the following note:\n\t\"Bring a friend, if you have one.\"\n\nChurchill wrote back, returning the two tickets and excused himself as he\nhad a previous engagement.  He also attached the following:\n\t\"Please send me two tickets for the next night, if there is one.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9797,24,'\nGo ahead... make my day.\n\t\t-- Dirty Harry\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9798,24,'\nGod help the troubadour who tries to be a star.  The more that you try\nto find success, the more that you will fail.\n\t\t-- Phil Ochs, on the Second System Effect\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9799,24,'\nGod is really only another artist.  He invented the giraffe, the elephant\nand the cat.  He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things.\n\t\t-- Pablo Picasso\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9800,24,'\nGod save us from a bad neighbor and a beginner on the fiddle.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9801,24,'\nGood night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9802,24,'\nGovernor Tarkin.  I should have expected to find you holding Vader\'s\nleash.  I thought I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.\n\t\t-- Princess Leia Organa\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9803,24,'\nGREAT MOMENTS IN AMERICAN HISTORY (#17):\n\nOn November 13, Felix Unger was asked to remove himself from his place\nof residence.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9804,24,'\nGrig (the navigator):\n\t... so you see, it\'s just the two of us against the entire space\n\tarmada.\nAlex (the gunner):\n\tWhat?!?\nGrig:\tI\'ve always wanted to fight a desperate battle against\n\toverwhelming odds.\nAlex:\tIt\'ll be a slaughter!\nGrig:\tThat\'s the spirit!\n\t\t-- The Last Starfighter\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9805,24,'\nH. L. Mencken suffers from the hallucination that he is H. L. Mencken --\nthere is no cure for a disease of that magnitude.\n\t\t-- Maxwell Bodenheim\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9806,24,'\n\t\"Hawk, we\'re going to die.\"\n\t\"Never say die... and certainly never say we.\"\n\t\t-- M*A*S*H\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9807,24,'\nHe played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.\n\t\t-- John Mason Brown, drama critic\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9808,24,'\nHe was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.\n\t\t-- Jonathon Swift\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9809,24,'\n\"Hello,\" he lied.\n\t\t-- Don Carpenter, quoting a Hollywood agent\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9810,24,'\nHello.  Jim Rockford\'s machine, this is Larry Doheny\'s machine.  Will you\nplease have your master call my master at his convenience?  Thank you.\nThank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.\n\t\t-- \"The Rockford Files\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9811,24,'\nHi Jimbo.  Dennis.  Really appreciate the help on the income tax.  You wanna\nhelp on the audit now?\n\t\t-- \"The Rockford Files\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9812,24,'\nHoaars-Faisse Gallery presents:\nAn exhibit of works by the artist known only as Pretzel.\n\nThe exhibit includes several large conceptual works using non-traditional\nmedia and found objects including old sofa-beds, used mace canisters,\ndiscarded sanitary napkins and parts of freeways.  The artist explores\nour dehumanization due to high technology and unresponsive governmental\nstructures in a post-industrial world.  She/he (the artist prefers to\nremain without gender) strives to create dialogue between viewer and\ncreator, to aid us in our quest to experience contemporary life with its\ninner-city tensions, homelessness, global warming and gender and\nclass-based stress.  The works are arranged to lead us to the essence of\nthe argument: that the alienation of the person/machine boundary has\nsapped the strength of our voices and must be destroyed for society to\nexist in a more fundamental sense.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9813,24,'\nHollywood is where if you don\'t have happiness you send out for it.\n\t\t-- Rex Reed\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9814,24,'\nHoly Dilemma!  Is this the end for the Caped Crusader and the Boy Wonder?\nWill the Joker and the Riddler have the last laugh?\n\n\tTune in again tomorrow:\n\tsame Bat-time, same Bat-channel!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9815,24,'\nHow wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9816,24,'\nHummingbirds never remember the words to songs.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9817,24,'\nHumpty Dumpty was pushed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9818,24,'\nI accept chaos.  I am not sure whether it accepts me.  I know some people\nare terrified of the bomb.  But then some people are terrified to be seen\ncarrying a modern screen magazine.  Experience teaches us that silence\nterrifies people the most.\n\t\t-- Bob Dylan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9819,24,'\nI always had a repulsive need to be something more than human.\n\t\t-- David Bowie\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9820,24,'\nI am a deeply superficial person.\n\t\t-- Andy Warhol\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9821,24,'\nI believe that the moment is near when by a procedure of active paranoiac\nthought, it will be possible to systematize confusion and contribute to the\ntotal discrediting of the world of reality.\n\t\t-- Salvador Dali\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9822,24,'\nI can\'t understand why a person will take a year or two to write a\nnovel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.\n\t\t-- Fred Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9823,24,'\nI didn\'t do it! Nobody saw me do it! Can\'t prove anything!\n                -- Bart Simpson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9824,24,'\nI didn\'t like the play, but I saw it under adverse conditions.  The curtain\nwas up.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9825,24,'\nI distrust a close-mouthed man.  He generally picks the wrong time to talk\nand says the wrong things.  Talking\'s something you can\'t do judiciously,\nunless you keep in practice.  Now, sir, we\'ll talk if you like.  I\'ll tell\nyou right out, I\'m a man who likes talking to a man who likes to talk.\n\t\t-- Sidney Greenstreet, \"The Maltese Falcon\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9826,24,'\nI don\'t know anything about music.  In my line you don\'t have to.\n\t\t-- Elvis Presley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9827,24,'\nI dread success.  To have succeeded is to have finished one\'s business on\nearth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has\nsucceeded in his courtship.  I like a state of continual becoming, with a\ngoal in front and not behind.\n\t\t-- George Bernard Shaw\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9828,24,'\nI had another dream the other day about music critics.  They were small\nand rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they had stepped out of a\npainting by Goya.\n\t\t-- Stravinsky\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9829,24,'\nI have a very strange feeling about this...\n\t\t-- Luke Skywalker\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9830,24,'\n\"I have come up with a sure-fire concept for a hit television show,\nwhich would be called `A Live Celebrity Gets Eaten by a Shark\'.\"\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"The Wonders of Sharks on TV\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9831,24,'\nI have had my television aerials removed.  It\'s the moral equivalent\nof a prostate operation.\n\t\t-- Malcolm Muggeridge\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9832,24,'\nI have more humility in my little finger than you have in your whole ____\b\b\b\bBODY!\n\t\t-- from \"Cerebus\" #82\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9833,24,'\nI knew her before she was a virgin.\n\t\t-- Oscar Levant, on Doris Day\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9834,24,'\nI never failed to convince an audience that the best thing they\ncould do was to go away.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9835,24,'\nI never made a mistake in my life.  I thought I did once, but I was wrong.\n\t\t-- Lucy Van Pelt\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9836,24,'\nI often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.\n\t\t-- G. B. Shaw\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9837,24,'\nI played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind\nof name that was popular in the \'60s as a result of controlled substances\nbeing in widespread use.  Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms\nof talent, on who could make an album, so we made one, and it sounds like\na group of people who have been given powerful but unfamiliar instruments\nas a therapy for a degenerative nerve disease.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"The Snake\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9838,24,'\nI recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the\nreader.  But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if\nI find that I cannot horrify, I\'ll go for the gross-out.\n\t\t-- Stephen King\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9839,24,'\nI remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the\nmorning.  A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for\nthe train to come in, he said to me: \"Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don\'t want to\ninvade your privacy, but I have a bet with a friend of mine.  Who composed\nthe opening theme music of \'Omnibus\'?  My friend said Virgil Thomson.\"  I\nasked him, \"What do you say?\" He replied, \"I say Aaron Copeland.\" I said,\n\"You\'re right.\"  The porter said,  \"I knew Thomson doesn\'t write counterpoint\nthat way.\"  I told that to a network president, and he was deeply unimpressed.\n\t\t-- Alistair Cooke\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9840,24,'\nI remember Ulysses well...  Left one day for the post office to mail a letter,\nmet a blonde named Circe on the streetcar, and didn\'t come back for 20 years.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9841,24,'\nI saw Lassie.  It took me four shows to figure out why the hairy kid never\nspoke. I mean, he could roll over and all that, but did that deserve a series?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9842,24,'\nI stick my neck out for nobody.\n\t\t-- Humphrey Bogart, \"Casablanca\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9843,24,'\nI stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six.  Mother took me to\nsee him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.\n\t\t-- Shirley Temple\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9844,24,'\nI suggest a new strategy, Artoo: let the Wookie win.\n\t\t-- C3P0\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9845,24,'\n\t\"I suppose you expect me to talk.\"\n\t\"No, Mr. Bond.  I expect you to die.\"\n\t\t-- Goldfinger\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9846,24,'\nI think we\'re in trouble.\n\t\t-- Han Solo\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9847,24,'\nI think...  I think it\'s in my basement... Let me go upstairs and check.\n\t\t-- Escher\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9848,24,'\nI truly wish I could be a great surgeon or philosopher or author or anything\nconstructive, but in all honesty I\'d rather turn up my amplifier full blast\nand drown myself in the noise.\n\t\t-- Charles Schmid, the \"Tucson Murderer\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9849,24,'\nI used to be disgusted, now I find I\'m just amused.\n\t\t-- Elvis Costello\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9850,24,'\nI was working on a case.  It had to be a case, because I couldn\'t afford a\ndesk.  Then I saw her.  This tall blond lady.  She must have been tall\nbecause I was on the third floor.  She rolled her deep blue eyes towards\nme.  I picked them up and rolled them back.  We kissed.  She screamed.  I\ntook the cigarette from my mouth and kissed her again.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9851,24,'\nI watch television because you don\'t know what it will do if you leave it\nin the room alone.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9852,24,'\nI went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it.  If\npeople are disillusioned by that remark, I can\'t help it.  It\'s the truth.\n\t\t-- Charlie Chaplin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9853,24,'\nI went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours.  Great song.\n\t\t-- Fred Reuss\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9854,24,'\nI WISH I HAD A KRYPTONITE CROSS, because then you could keep both Dracula\nand Superman away.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9855,24,'\nI wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.  There\'s a\nknob called \"brightness\", but it doesn\'t seem to work.\n\t\t-- Gallagher\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9856,24,'\nI\'d just as soon kiss a Wookie.\n\t\t-- Princess Leia Organa\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9857,24,'\nI\'ll be Grateful when they\'re Dead.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9858,24,'\nI\'ll never get off this planet.\n\t\t-- Luke Skywalker\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9859,24,'\nI\'m a Hollywood writer; so I put on a sports jacket and take off my brain.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9860,24,'\nI\'m not a real movie star -- I\'ve still got the same wife I started out\nwith twenty-eight years ago.\n\t\t-- Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9861,24,'\nI\'ve got a very bad feeling about this.\n\t\t-- Han Solo\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9862,24,'\n  I. Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of\n     its situation.\n\tDaffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland.  He\n\tloiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to\n\tlook down.  At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per\n\tsecond per second takes over.\n II. Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter\n     intervenes suddenly.\n\tWhether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon\n\tcharacters are so absolute in their momentum that only a telephone\n\tpole or an outsize boulder retards their forward motion absolutely.\n\tSir Isaac Newton called this sudden termination of motion the\n\tstooge\'s surcease.\nIII. Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation\n     conforming to its perimeter.\n\tAlso called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the\n\tspeciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless\n\tcowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through\n\tthe wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole.  The\n\tthreat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.\n\t\t-- Esquire, \"O\'Donnell\'s Laws of Cartoon Motion\", June 1980\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9863,24,'\nIf *I* had a hammer, there\'d be no more folk singers.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9864,24,'\nIf all the world\'s a stage, I want to operate the trap door.\n\t\t-- Paul Beatty\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9865,24,'\nIf an average person on the subway turns to you, like an ancient mariner,\nand starts telling you her tale, you turn away or nod and hope she stops,\nnot just because you fear she might be crazy.  If she tells her tale on\ncamera, you might listen.  Watching strangers on television , even\nresponding to them from a studio audience, we\'re disengaged -- voyeurs\ncollaborating with exhibitionists in rituals of sham community.  Never\nhave so many known so much about people for whom they cared so little.\n\t\t-- Wendy Kaminer commenting on testimonial television\n\t\t   in \"I\'m Dysfunctional, You\'re Dysfunctional\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9866,24,'\nIf Beethoven\'s Seventh Symphony is not by some means abridged, it will soon\nfall into disuse.\n\t\t-- Philip Hale, Boston music critic, 1837\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9867,24,'\nIf dolphins are so smart, why did Flipper work for television?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9868,24,'\nIf God didn\'t mean for us to juggle, tennis balls wouldn\'t come three to a can.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9869,24,'\nIf God had intended Man to Watch TV, He would have given him Rabbit Ears.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9870,24,'\nIf I had any humility I would be perfect.\n\t\t-- Ted Turner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9871,24,'\nIf I had done everything I\'m credited with, I\'d be speaking to you from\na laboratory jar at Harvard.\n\t\t-- Frank Sinatra\n\nAS USUAL, YOUR INFORMATION STINKS.\n\t\t-- Frank Sinatra, telegram to \"Time\" magazine\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9872,24,'\nIf I have to lay an egg for my country, I\'ll do it.\n\t\t-- Bob Hope\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9873,24,'\nIf it ain\'t baroque, don\'t phiques it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9874,24,'\nIf it were thought that anything I wrote was influenced by Robert Frost,\nI would take that particular work of mine, shred it, and flush it down\nthe toilet, hoping not to clog the pipes.  A more sententious, holding-\nforth old bore who expected every hero-worshiping adenoidal little twerp\nof a student-poet to hang on to his every word I never saw.\n\t\t-- James Dickey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9875,24,'\nIf life is a stage, I want some better lighting.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9876,24,'\nIf you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient\nevidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.\n\t\t-- Fran Lebowitz, \"Metropolitan Life\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9877,24,'\nIf you have to ask what jazz is, you\'ll never know.\n\t\t-- Louis Armstrong\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9878,24,'\nIf you lose a son you can always get another, but there\'s only one\nMaltese Falcon.\n\t\t-- Sidney Greenstreet, \"The Maltese Falcon\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9879,24,'\nIf you think the pen is mightier than the sword, the next time someone pulls\nout a sword I\'d like to see you get up there with your Bic.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9880,24,'\nIf you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that\'s\nread by persons who move their lips when the\'re reading to themselves.\n\t\t-- Don Marquis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9881,24,'\nImitation is the sincerest form of television.\n\t\t-- Fred Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9882,24,'\nImmature artists imitate, mature artists steal.\n\t\t-- Lionel Trilling\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9883,24,'\nImmature poets imitate, mature poets steal.\n\t\t-- T.S. Eliot, \"Philip Massinger\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9884,24,'\nIn Hollywood, all marriages are happy.  It\'s trying to live together\nafterwards that causes the problems.\n\t\t-- Shelley Winters\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9885,24,'\nIn Hollywood, if you don\'t have happiness, you send out for it.\n\t\t-- Rex Reed\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9886,24,'\nIn just seven days, I can make you a man!\n\t\t-- The Rocky Horror Picture Show\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9887,24,'\nIn my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending\nyour left leg, it\'s modern architecture.\n\t\t-- Nancy Banks Smith\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9888,24,'\nIn Oz, never say \"krizzle kroo\" to a Woozy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9889,24,'\nIn the force if Yoda\'s so strong, construct a sentence with words in\nthe proper order then why can\'t he?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9890,24,'\nIn the Old West a wagon train is crossing the plains.  As night falls the\nwagon train forms a circle, and a campfire is lit in the middle.  After\neveryone has gone to sleep two lone cavalry officers stand watch over the\ncamp.\n\tAfter several hours of quiet, they hear war drums starting from\na nearby Indian village they had passed during the day.  The drums get\nlouder and louder.\n\tFinally one soldier turns to the other and says, \"I don\'t like\nthe sound of those drums.\"\n\tSuddenly, they hear a cry come from the Indian camp:  \"IT\'S\nNOT OUR REGULAR DRUMMER.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9891,24,'\nIt happened that a fire broke out backstage in a theater.  The clown came\nout to inform the public.  They thought it was just a jest and applauded.\nHe repeated his warning, they shouted even louder.  So I think the world\nwill come to an end amid general applause from all the wits, who believe\nthat it is a joke.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9892,24,'\nIt is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been\ndead for two years.\n\t\t-- Tom Lehrer\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9893,24,'\nIt is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both\nincisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by\ntwelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.\n\t\t-- Rod Serling\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9894,24,'\nIt is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a\nstatue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious \nto carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, \nwhich morally we can do.  To affect the quality of the day, that is the\nhighest of arts. Every man is tasked to make his life, even in its details,\nworthy of the contemplation of his most elevated and critical hour.\n\t\t-- Henry David Thoreau, \"Where I Live\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9895,24,'\nIt is up to us to produce better-quality movies.\n\t-- Lloyd Kaufman, producer of \"Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9896,24,'\nIt just doesn\'t seem right to go over the river and through the woods\nto Grandmother\'s condo.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9897,24,'\nIt looks like it\'s up to me to save our skins.  Get into that garbage chute,\nflyboy!\n\t\t-- Princess Leia Organa\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9898,24,'\nIt proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and\nthey\'ll come out for it.\n\t\t-- Red Skelton, surveying the funeral of Hollywood mogul\n\t\t   Harry Cohn\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9899,24,'\nIt took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing,\nbut I couldn\'t give it up because by that time I was too famous.\n\t\t-- Robert Benchley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9900,24,'\nIt was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9901,24,'\nIt\'ll be just like Beggars\' Canyon back home.\n\t\t-- Luke Skywalker\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9902,24,'\nIt\'s all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.\n\t\t-- Mick Jagger\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9903,24,'\nIt\'s clever, but is it art?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9904,24,'\nIt\'s difficult to see the picture when you are inside the frame.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9905,24,'\nIt\'s from Casablanca.  I\'ve been waiting all my life to use that line.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen, \"Play It Again, Sam\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9906,24,'\n\"It\'s kind of fun to do the impossible.\"\n\t\t-- Walt Disney\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9907,24,'\nIt\'s more than magnificent -- it\'s mediocre.\n\t\t-- Sam Goldwyn\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9908,24,'\nIt\'s not easy, being green.\n\t\t-- Kermit the Frog\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9909,24,'\nIt\'s not the valleys in life I dread so much as the dips.\n\t\t-- Garfield\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9910,24,'\nIV. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or\n    equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to\n    spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken.\n\tSuch an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture it\n\tinevitably unsuccessful.\n V. All principles of gravity are negated by fear.\n\tPsychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel\n\tthem directly away from the earth\'s surface.  A spooky noise or an\n\tadversary\'s signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to\n\tthe cradle of a chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole.\n\tThe feet of a character who is running or the wheels of a speeding\n\tauto need never touch the ground, especially when in flight.\nVI. As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once.\n\tThis is particularly true of tooth-and-claw fights, in which a\n\tcharacter\'s head may be glimpsed emerging from the cloud of\n\taltercation at several places simultaneously.  This effect is common\n\tas well among bodies that are spinning or being throttled.  A \"wacky\"\n\tcharacter has the option of self-replication only at manic high\n\tspeeds and may ricochet off walls to achieve the velocity required.\n\t\t-- Esquire, \"O\'Donnell\'s Laws of Cartoon Motion\", June 1980\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9911,24,'\nJames Joyce -- an essentially private man who wished his total\nindifference to public notice to be universally recognized.\n\t\t-- Tom Stoppard\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9912,24,'\nJames McNeill Whistler\'s (painter of \"Whistler\'s Mother\")\nfailure in his West Point chemistry examination once provoked him to\nremark in later life, \"If silicon had been a gas, I should have been a\nmajor general.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9913,24,'\nJane and I got mixed up with a television show -- or as we call it back\neast here: TV -- a clever contraction derived from the words Terrible\nVaudeville. However, it is our latest medium -- we call it a medium\nbecause nothing\'s well done. It was discovered, I suppose you\'ve heard,\nby a man named Fulton Berle, and it has already revolutionized social\ngrace by cutting down parlour conversation to two sentences: \"What\'s on\ntelevision?\" and \"Good night\".\n\t\t-- Goodman Ace, letter to Groucho Marx, in The Groucho\n\t\t   Letters, 1967\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9914,24,'\nJim, it\'s Grace at the bank.  I checked your Christmas Club account.\nYou don\'t have five-hundred dollars.  You have fifty.  Sorry, computer foul-up!\n\t\t-- \"The Rockford Files\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9915,24,'\nJim, it\'s Jack.  I\'m at the airport.  I\'m going to Tokyo and wanna pay\nyou the five-hundred I owe you.  Catch you next year when I get back!\n\t\t-- \"The Rockford Files\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9916,24,'\nJim, this is Janelle.  I\'m flying tonight, so I can\'t make our date, and\nI gotta find a safe place for Daffy.  He loves you, Jim!  It\'s only two\ndays, and you\'ll see.  Great Danes are no problem!\n\t\t-- \"The Rockford Files\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9917,24,'\nJim, this is Matty down at Ralph\'s and Mark\'s.  Some guy named Angel\nMartin just ran up a fifty buck bar tab.  And now he wants to charge it\nto you.  You gonna pay it?\n\t\t-- \"The Rockford Files\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9918,24,'\nJOHN PAUL ELECTED POPE!!\n\n(George and Ringo miffed.)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9919,24,'\nJust because you like my stuff doesn\'t mean I owe you anything.\n\t\t-- Bob Dylan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9920,24,'\nJust close your eyes, tap your heels together three times, and think to\nyourself, `There\'s no place like home.\'\n\t\t-- Glynda the Good\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9921,24,'\nJust once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of\nblue denim.  If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys\nlike mine instead of this awful, boring blue denim.  I don\'t enjoy the sky\nor sea as much as I used to because of this Levi character.  If Jesus Christ\ncame back today, He and I would get into our brown corduroys and go to the\nnearest jean store and overturn the racks of blue denim.  Then we\'d get\ncrucified in the morning.\n\t\t-- Ian Anderson, of Jethro Tull\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9922,24,'\nJust once, I wish we would encounter an alien menace that wasn\'t\nimmune to bullets.\n\t\t-- The Brigadier, \"Dr. Who\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9923,24,'\nLamonte Cranston once hired a new Chinese manservant.  While describing his\nduties to the new man, Lamonte pointed to a bowl of candy on the coffee\ntable and warned him that he was not to take any.  Some days later, the new\nmanservant was cleaning up, with no one at home, and decided to sample some\nof the candy.  Just than, Cranston walked in, spied the manservant at the\ncandy, and said:\n\t\"Pardon me Choy, is that the Shadow\'s nugate you chew?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9924,24,'\n\tLassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she\nlived with was made up of idiots.  Remember?  One of them was always\ngetting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to\nthe farmhouse to alert the other ones.  She\'d whimper and tug at their\nsleeves, and they\'d always waste precious minutes saying things: \"Do\nyou think something\'s wrong?  Do you think she wants us to follow her?\nWhat is it, girl?\", etc., as if this had never happened before, instead\nof every week.  What with all the time these people spent pinned under\nthe tractor, I don\'t see how they managed to grow any crops whatsoever.\nThey probably got by on federal crop supports, which Lassie filed the\napplications for.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9925,24,'\nLay off the muses, it\'s a very tough dollar.\n\t\t-- S.J. Perelman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9926,24,'\nLensmen eat Jedi for breakfast.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9927,24,'\n\tLeslie West heads for the sticks, to Providence, Rhode Island and\ntries to hide behind a beard.  No good.  There are still too many people\nand too many stares, always taunting, always smirking.  He moves to the\noutskirts of town. He finds a place to live -- huge mansion, dirt cheap,\ncaretaker included.  He plugs in his guitar and plays as loud as he wants,\nday and night, and there\'s no one to laugh or boo or even look bored.\n\tNobody\'s cut the grass in months.  What\'s happened to that caretaker?\nWhat neighborhood people there are start to talk, and what kids there are\nstart to get curious.  A 13 year-old blond with an angelic face misses supper.\nBefore the summer\'s end, four more teenagers have disappeared.  The senior\nclass president, Barnard-bound come autumn, tells Mom she\'s going out to a\nmovie one night and stays out.  The town\'s up in arms, but just before the\npolice take action, the kids turn up.  They\'ve found a purpose.  They go\nhome for their stuff and tell the folks not to worry but they\'ll be going\nnow.  They\'re in a band.\n\t\t-- Ira Kaplan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9928,24,'\nLife is like arriving late for a movie, having to figure out what was\ngoing on without bothering everybody with a lot of questions, and then\nbeing unexpectedly called away before you find out how it ends.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9929,24,'\nLike ya know?  Rock \'N Roll is an esoteric language that unlocks the\ncreativity chambers in people\'s brains, and like totally activates their\nessential hipness, which of course is like totally necessary for saving\nthe earth, like because the first thing in saving this world, is getting\nrid of stupid and square attitudes and having fun.\n\t\t-- Senior Year Quote\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9930,24,'\nLinus:\tHi!  I thought it was you.\n\tI\'ve been watching you from way off...  You\'re looking great!\nSnoopy:\tThat\'s nice to know.\n\tThe secret of life is to look good at a distance.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9931,24,'\nLinus:\tI guess it\'s wrong always to be worrying about tomorrow.  Maybe\n\twe should think only about today.\nCharlie Brown:\n\tNo, that\'s giving up.  I\'m still hoping that yesterday will get\n\tbetter.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9932,24,'\nLive fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse.\n\t\t-- James Dean\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9933,24,'\nLive from New York ... It\'s Saturday Night!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9934,24,'\nLove thy neighbor, tune thy piano.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9935,24,'\nLucy:\tDance, dance, dance.  That is all you ever do.\n\tCan\'t you be serious for once?\nSnoopy: She is right!  I think I had better think\n\tof the more important things in life!\n\t(pause)\n\tTomorrow!!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9936,24,'\nLuke, I\'m yer father, eh.  Come over to the dark side, you hoser.\n\t\t-- Dave Thomas, \"Strange Brew\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9937,24,'\nMaj. Bloodnok:\tSeagoon, you\'re a coward!\nSeagoon:\tOnly in the holiday season.\nMaj. Bloodnok:\tAh, another Noel Coward!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9938,24,'\nMandrell: \"You know what I think?\"\nDoctor:   \"Ah, ah that\'s a catch question. With a brain your size you\n\t  don\'t think, right?\"\n\t\t-- Dr. Who\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9939,24,'\nMany of the characters are fools and they are always playing\ntricks on me and treating me badly.\n\t\t-- Jorge Luis Borges, from \"Writers on Writing\" by Jon Winokur\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9940,24,'\nMaryel brought her bat into Exit once and started whacking people on\nthe dance floor.  Now everyone\'s doing it.  It\'s called grand slam dancing.\n\t\t-- Ransford, Chicago Reader 10/7/83\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9941,24,'\nMate, this parrot wouldn\'t VOOM if you put four million volts through it!\n\t\t-- Monty Python\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9942,24,'\n\"Microwave oven?  Whaddya mean, it\'s a microwave oven?  I\'ve been watching\nChannel 4 on the thing for two weeks.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9943,24,'\nMight as well be frank, monsieur.  It would take a miracle to get you out\nof Casablanca and the Germans have outlawed miracles.\n\t\t-- Casablanca\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9944,24,'\nMike:\t\"The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?\"\nBernie:\t\"Nobody ever empties the ashtrays.  People are SO inconsiderate.\"\n\t\t-- Gary Trudeau, \"Doonesbury\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9945,24,'\nMinnie Mouse is a slow maze learner.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9946,24,'\nModern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade\nthemselves that they have a better idea.\n\t\t-- John Ciardi\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9947,24,'\nMos Eisley Spaceport; you\'ll not find a more wretched collection of\nvillainy and disreputable types...\n\t\t-- Obi-wan Kenobi, \"Star Wars\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9948,24,'\nMr. Rockford, this is the Thomas Crown School of Dance and Contemporary\nEtiquette.  We aren\'t going to call again!  Now you want these free\nlessons or what?\n\t\t-- \"The Rockford Files\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9949,24,'\nMr. Rockford?  Miss Collins from the Bureau of Licenses.  We got your\nrenewal before the extended deadline but not your check.  I\'m sorry but\nat midnight you\'re no longer licensed as an investigator.\n\t\t-- \"The Rockford Files\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9950,24,'\nMr. Rockford?  This is Betty Joe Withers.  I got four shirts of yours from\nthe Bo Peep Cleaners by mistake.  I don\'t know why they gave me men\'s\nshirts but they\'re going back.\n\t\t-- \"The Rockford Files\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9951,24,'\nMr. Rockford?  You don\'t know me, but I\'d like to hire you.  Could\nyou call me at...  My name is... uh...  Never mind, forget it!\n\t\t-- \"The Rockford Files\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9952,24,'\nMy advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.\n\t\t-- The Dragon to Grendel, in John Gardner\'s \"Grendel\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9953,24,'\nMy band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my\namplifier out the dormitory window.  We did not act in haste. First we\nchecked to make sure the amplifier would fit through the frame, using the\nbelt from my bathrobe to measure, then we picked up the amplifier and backed\nup to my bedroom door.  Then we rushed forward, shouting \"The WHO!  The\nWHO!\" and we launched my amplifier perfectly, as though we had been doing it\nall our lives, clean through the window and down onto the sidewalk, where a\nsmall but appreciative crowd had gathered.  I would like to be able to say\nthat this was a symbolic act, an effort on my part to break cleanly away\nfrom one state in my life and move on to another, but the truth is, Cooper\nand I really just wanted to find out what it would sound like.  It sounded\nOK.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"The Snake\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9954,24,'\n\"My life is a soap opera, but who has the rights?\"\n\t-- MadameX\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9955,24,'\nMy tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked.\n\t\t-- Peter Stack, movie review\n\nHis performance is so wooden you want to spray him with Liquid Pledge.\n\t\t-- John Stark, movie review\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9956,24,'\nNo Civil War picture ever made a nickel.\n\t\t-- MGM executive Irving Thalberg to Louis B. Mayer about\n\t\t   film rights to \"Gone With the Wind\".\n\t\t   Cerf/Navasky, \"The Experts Speak\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9957,24,'\nNo house should ever be on any hill or on anything.  It should be of the hill,\nbelonging to it.\n\t\t-- Frank Lloyd Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9958,24,'\nNo poet or novelist wishes he was the only one who ever lived, but most of\nthem wish they were the only one alive, and quite a number fondly believe\ntheir wish has been granted.\n\t\t-- W.H. Auden, \"The Dyer\'s Hand\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9959,24,'\nNo two persons ever read the same book.\n\t\t-- Edmund Wilson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9960,24,'\n\"No, `Eureka\' is Greek for `This bath is too hot.\'\"\n\t\t-- Dr. Who\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9961,24,'\nNobody can be exactly like me.  Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.\n\t\t-- Tallulah Bankhead\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9962,24,'\nNOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9963,24,'\nNoone ever built a statue to a critic.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9964,24,'\nNot all who own a harp are harpers.\n\t\t-- Marcus Terentius Varro\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9965,24,'\nNotes for a ballet, \"The Spell\": ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of\nwings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is\nastounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman --\nunfortunately, divided lengthwise.  She enchants Sigmund, who is careful\nnot to make any poultry jokes.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9966,24,'\nOh Dad!  We\'re ALL Devo!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9967,24,'\n\t\"Oh sure, this costume may look silly, but it lets me get in and out\nof dangerous situations -- I work for a federal task force doing a survey on\nurban crime.  Look, here\'s my ID, and here\'s a number you can call, that will\nput you through to our central base in Atlanta.  Go ahead, call -- they\'ll\nconfirm who I am.\n\t\"Unless, of course, the Astro-Zombies have destroyed it.\"\n\t\t-- Captain Freedom\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9968,24,'\nOh, Aunty Em, it\'s so good to be home!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9969,24,'\nOld MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9970,24,'\nOld musicians never die, they just decompose.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9971,24,'\nOnce, I read that a man be never stronger than when he truly realizes how\nweak he is.\n\t\t-- Jim Starlin, \"Captain Marvel #31\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9972,24,'\nOne big pile is better than two little piles.\n\t\t-- Arlo Guthrie\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9973,24,'\nOprah Winfrey has an incredible talent for getting the weirdest people to\ntalk to.  And you just HAVE to watch it.  \"Blind, masochistic minority,\ncrippled, depressed, government latrine diggers, and the women who love\nthem too much on the next Oprah Winfrey.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9974,24,'\n\tPenn\'s aunts made great apple pies at low prices.  No one else in\ntown could compete with the pie rates of Penn\'s aunts.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9975,24,'\nPeople in general do not willingly read if they have anything else to\namuse them.\n\t\t-- S. Johnson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9976,24,'\nPerhaps no person can be a poet, or even enjoy poetry without a certain\nunsoundness of mind.\n\t\t-- Thomas Macaulay\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9977,24,'\nPlato, by the way, wanted to banish all poets from his proposed Utopia\nbecause they were liars.  The truth was that Plato knew philosophers\ncouldn\'t compete successfully with poets.\n\t\t-- Kilgore Trout (Philip J. Farmer), \"Venus on the Half Shell\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9978,24,'\nPlaying an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"The Snake\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9979,24,'\nPlease, won\'t somebody tell me what diddie-wa-diddie means?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9980,24,'\nPlots are like girdles.  Hidden, they hold your interest; revealed, they\'re\nof no interest except to fetishists. Like girdles, they attempt to contain\nan uncontainable experience.\n\t\t-- R.S. Knapp\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9981,24,'\nPotahto\' Pictures Productions Presents:\n\n\tSPUD ROGERS OF THE 25TH CENTURY: Story of an Air Force potato that\'s\nleft in a rarely used chow hall for over two centuries and wakes up in a world\npopulated by soybean created imitations under the evil Dick Tater.  Thanks to\nhim, the soy-potatoes learn that being a \'tater is where it\'s at.  Memorable\nline, \"\'Cause I\'m just a stud spud!\"\n\n\tFRIDAY THE 13TH DINER SERIES: Crazed potato who was left in a\nfryer too long and was charbroiled carelessly returns to wreak havoc on\nunsuspecting, would-be teen camp cooks.  Scenes include a girl being stuffed\nwith chives and Fleischman\'s Margarine and a boy served up on a side dish\nwith beets and dressing.  Definitely not for the squeamish, or those on\ndiets that are driving them crazy.\n\n\tFRIDAY THE 13TH DINER II,III,IV,V,VI: Much, much more of the same.\nExcept with sour cream.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9982,24,'\nPotahto\' Pictures Productions Presents:\n\n\tTHE TATERNATOR: Cyborg spud returns from the future to present-day\nMcDonald\'s restaurant to kill the potatoess (girl \'tater) who will give birth\nto the world\'s largest french fry (The Dark Powers of Burger King are clearly\nbehind this).  Most quotable line: \"Ah\'ll be baked...\"\n\n\tA FISTFUL OF FRIES: Western in which our hero, The Spud with No Name,\nrides into a town that\'s deprived of carbohydrates thanks to the evil takeover\nof the low-cal Scallopinni Brothers.  Plenty of smokeouts, fry-em-ups, and\ngeneral butter-melting by all.\n\n\tFOR A FEW FRIES MORE: Takes up where AFOF left off!  Cameo by Walter\nCronkite, as every man\'s common \'tater!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9983,24,'\nPrizes are for children.\n\t\t-- Charles Ives, upon being given, but refusing, the\n\t\t   Pulitzer prize\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9984,24,'\nProducers seem to be so prejudiced against actors who\'ve had no training.\nAnd there\'s no reason for it.  So what if I didn\'t attend the Royal Academy\nfor twelve years?  I\'m still a professional trying to be the best actress\nI can.  Why doesn\'t anyone send me the scripts that Faye Dunaway gets?\n\t\t-- Farrah Fawcett-Majors\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9985,24,'\nPublic use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator\nof sociopathic tendencies.\n\t\t-- Zoso\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9986,24,'\nPublishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the\nGrand Canyon and waiting for the echo.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9987,24,'\nPure drivel tends to drive ordinary drivel off the TV screen.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9988,24,'\nRascal, am I?  Take THAT!\n\t\t-- Errol Flynn\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9989,24,'\nRecently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan \"comes to\" after\nhis death.  He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar.\n\"Holy cow,\" he thinks to himself, \"this guy is my idol.\"  Over at the\nmicrophone, about to sing, are Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin, and the\nbassist is the late Barry Oakley of the Allman Brothers.  So Stevie\nRay\'s thinking, \"Oh, wow!  I\'ve died and gone to rock and roll heaven.\"\nJust then, Karen Carpenter walks in, sits down at the drums, and says:\n\"\'Close to You\'.  Hit it, boys!\"\n\t\t-- Told by Penn Jillette, of magic/comedy duo Penn and Teller\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9990,24,'\nRembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our\nextraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille.\n\t\t-- John Hunt, British editor, scholar and art critic\n\t\t   Cerf/Navasky, \"The Experts Speak\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9991,24,'\n\"Rembrandt\'s first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it.\"\n\t\t-- Dave Barry\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9992,24,'\nSatire is tragedy plus time.\n\t\t-- Lenny Bruce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9993,24,'\nSatire is what closes in New Haven.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9994,24,'\nSatire is what closes Saturday night.\n\t\t-- George Kaufman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9995,24,'\n\'Scuse me, while I kiss the sky!\n\t\t-- Robert James Marshall (Jimi) Hendrix\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9996,24,'\nShe ran the gamut of emotions from \'A\' to \'B\'.\n\t\t-- Dorothy Parker, on a Kate Hepburn performance\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9997,24,'\n\"She said, `I know you ... you cannot sing\'.  I said, `That\'s nothing,\nyou should hear me play piano.\'\"\n\t\t-- Morrisey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9998,24,'\nShe was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way a midget is\ngood at being short.\n\t\t-- Clive James, on Marilyn Monroe\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (9999,24,'\nShhh... be vewy, vewy, quiet!  I\'m hunting wabbits...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10000,24,'\nShow business is just like high school, except you get paid.\n\t\t-- Martin Mull\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10001,24,'\nSir, it\'s very possible this asteroid is not stable.\n\t\t-- C3P0\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10002,24,'\nSkill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects\nsuch as wickerwork picnic baskets.  Imagination without skill gives us modern\nart.\n\t\t-- Tom Stoppard\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10003,24,'\nSmile!  You\'re on Candid Camera.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10004,24,'\nSnakes.  Why did it have to be snakes?\n\t\t-- Indiana Jones, \"Raiders of the Lost Ark\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10005,24,'\nSnoopy: No problem is so big that it can\'t be run away from.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10006,24,'\nSnow White has become a camera buff.  She spends hours and hours\nshooting pictures of the seven dwarfs and their antics.  Then she\nmails the exposed film to a cut rate photo service.  It takes weeks\nfor the developed film to arrive in the mail, but that is all right\nwith Snow White.  She clears the table, washes the dishes and sweeps\nthe floor, all the while singing \"Someday my prints will come.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10007,24,'\nSo do the noble fall.  For they are ever caught in a trap of their own making.\nA trap -- walled by duty, and locked by reality.  Against the greater force\nthey must fall -- for, against that force they fight because of duty, because\nof obligations.  And when the noble fall, the base remain.  The base -- whose\nonly purpose is the corruption of what the noble did protect.  Whose only\npurpose is to destroy.  The noble: who, even when fallen, retain a vestige of\nstrength.  For theirs is a strength born of things other than mere force.\nTheirs is a strength supreme... theirs is the strength -- to restore.\n\t\t-- Gerry Conway, \"Thor\", #193\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10008,24,'\n\tSo Richard and I decided to try to catch [the small shark].\nWith a great deal of strategy and effort and shouting, we managed to\nmaneuver the shark, over the course of about a half-hour, to a sort of\ncorner of the lagoon, so that it had no way to escape other than to\nflop up onto the land and evolve.  Richard and I were inching toward\nit, sort of crouched over, when all of a sudden it turned around and --\nI can still remember the sensation I felt at that moment, primarily in\nthe armpit area -- headed right straight toward us.\n\tMany people would have panicked at this point.  But Richard and\nI were not \"many people.\"  We were experienced waders, and we kept our\nheads.  We did exactly what the textbook says you should do when you\'re\nunarmed and a shark that is nearly two feet long turns on you in water\nup to your lower calves: We sprinted I would say 600 yards in the\nopposite direction, using a sprinting style such that the bottoms of\nour feet never once went below the surface of the water.  We ran all\nthe way to the far shore, and if we had been in a Warner Brothers\ncartoon we would have run right INTO the beach, and you would have seen\nthese two mounds of sand racing across the island until they bonked\ninto trees and coconuts fell onto their heads.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"The Wonders of Sharks on TV\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10009,24,'\nSome men who fear that they are playing second fiddle aren\'t in the\nband at all.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10010,24,'\nSome performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when\nyou finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.\n\t\t-- Avery\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10011,24,'\n\"Spare no expense to save money on this one.\"\n\t\t-- Samuel Goldwyn\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10012,24,'\nStar Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel;\nStar Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest\nscience fiction series of all time is Doctor Who!  And I\'ll take you all\non, one-by-one or all in a bunch to back it up!\n\t\t-- Harlan Ellison\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10013,24,'\n\t\"Surely you can\'t be serious.\"\n\t\"I am serious, and stop calling me Shirley.\"\n\t\t-- \"Airplane\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10014,24,'\nTalking about music is like dancing about architecture.\n\t\t-- Laurie Anderson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10015,24,'\nTallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.\n\t\t-- John Mason Brown, drama critic\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10016,24,'\nTelevision -- the longest amateur night in history.\n\t\t-- Robert Carson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10017,24,'\nTelevision has brought back murder into the home -- where it belongs.\n\t-- Alfred Hitchcock\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10018,24,'\nTelevision has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.\n\t\t-- Ann Landers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10019,24,'\nTelevision is a medium because anything well done is rare.\n\t\t-- attributed to both Fred Allen and Ernie Kovacs\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10020,24,'\nTelevision is now so desperately hungry for material that it is scraping\nthe top of the barrel.\n\t\t-- Gore Vidal\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10021,24,'\nTen years of rejection slips is nature\'s way of telling you to stop writing.\n\t\t-- R. Geis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10022,24,'\nThat\'s no moon...\n\t\t-- Obi-wan Kenobi\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10023,24,'\nThe Angels want to wear my red shoes.\n\t\t-- E. Costello\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10024,24,'\nThe best definition of a gentleman is a man who can play the accordion --\nbut doesn\'t.\n\t\t-- Tom Crichton\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10025,24,'\n\tThe big problem with pornography is defining it.  You can\'t just\nsay it\'s pictures of people naked.  For example, you have these\nprimitive African tribes that exist by chasing the wildebeest on foot,\nand they have to go around largely naked, because, as the old tribal\nsaying goes: \"N\'wam k\'honi soit qui mali,\" which means, \"If you think\nyou can catch a wildebeest in this climate and wear clothes at the same\ntime, then I have some beach front property in the desert region of\nNorthern Mali that you may be interested in.\"\n\tSo it\'s not considered pornographic when National Geographic\npublishes color photographs of these people hunting the wildebeest\nnaked, or pounding one rock onto another rock for some primitive reason\nnaked, or whatever.  But if National Geographic were to publish an\narticle entitled \"The Girls of the California Junior College System\nHunt the Wildebeest Naked,\" some people would call it pornography.  But\nothers would not.  And still others, such as the Spectacularly Rev.\nJerry Falwell, would get upset about seeing the wildebeest naked.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Pornography\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10026,24,'\nThe cable TV sex channels don\'t expand our horizons, don\'t make us better\npeople, and don\'t come in clearly enough.\n\t\t-- Bill Maher\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10027,24,'\nThe capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly\ngreater than that of any other animals.  Some of their most esteemed\ninventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party\nof more than two, the epic poem, and the science of metaphysics.\n\t\t-- H. L. Mencken\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10028,24,'\nThe chief enemy of creativity is \"good\" sense\n\t\t-- Picasso\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10029,24,'\nThe covers of this book are too far apart.\n\t\t-- Book review by Ambrose Bierce.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10030,24,'\nThe difference between waltzes and disco is mostly one of volume.\n\t\t-- T.K.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10031,24,'\nThe faster we go, the rounder we get.\n\t\t-- The Grateful Dead\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10032,24,'\nThe first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.\n\t\t-- Dorothy Parker\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10033,24,'\nThe Great Movie Posters:\n\n*A Giggle Gurgling Gulp of Glee*\nWith Pretty Girls, Peppy Scenes, and Gorgeous Revues -- plus a good story.\n\t\t-- Tea with a Kick (1924)\n\nWhoopie!  Let\'s go!... Hand-picked Beauties doing cute tricks!\nGET IN THE KNOW FOR THE HEY-HEY WHOOPIE!\n\t\t-- The Wild Party (1929)\n\nYOU HEAR HIM MAKE LOVE!\nDIX -- the dashing soldier!\n\tDIX -- the bold adventurer!\n\t\tDIX -- the throbbing lover!\n\t\t-- The Wheel of Life (1929)\n\nSEE CHARLES BUTTERWORTH DRIVE A STREETCAR AND SING LOVE\nSONGS TO HIS MARE \"MITZIE\"!\n\t\t-- The Night is Young (1934)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10034,24,'\nThe Great Movie Posters:\n\nA mis-spawned murderous abomination from the nether reaches of an\nunimaginable hell.\n\t\t-- The Killer of Castle Brood (1967)\n\nNEW -- SICKENING HORROR to make your STOMACH TURN and FLESH CRAWL!\n\t\t-- Frankenstein\'s Bloody Terror (1968)\n\nLUST-MAD MEN AND LAWLESS WOMEN IN A VICIOUS AND SENSUOUS ORGY OF SLAUGHTER!\n\t\t-- Five Bloody Graves (1969)\n\nThe family that slays together stays together.\n\t\t-- Bloody Mama (1970)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10035,24,'\nThe Great Movie Posters:\n\nAn AVALANCHE of KILLER WORMS!\n\t\t-- Squirm (1976)\n\nMost Movies Live Less Than Two Hours.\nThis Is One of Everlasting Torment!\n\t\t-- The New House on the Left (1977)\n\nWE ARE GOING TO EAT YOU!\n\t\t-- Zombie (1980)\n\nIt\'s not human and it\'s got an axe.\n\t\t-- The Prey (1981)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10036,24,'\nThe Great Movie Posters:\n\nDifferent! Daring! Dynamic! Defying! Dumbfounding!\nSEE Uncle Tom lead the Negroes to FREEDOM!\n... Now, all the SENSUAL and VIOLENT passions Roots couldn\'t show on TV!\n\t\t-- Uncle Tom\'s Cabin (1972)\n\nAn appalling amalgam of carnage and carnality!\n\t\t-- Flesh and Blood Show (1973)\n\nWHEN THE CATS ARE HUNGRY...\nRUN FOR YOUR LIVES!\nAlone, only a harmless pet...\n\tOne Thousand Strong, They Become a Man-Eating Machine!\n\t\t-- The Night of a Thousand Cats (1972)\n\nThey\'re Over-Exposed\nBut Not Under-Developed!\n\t\t-- Cover Girl Models (1976)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10037,24,'\nThe Great Movie Posters:\n\nHOODLUMS FROM ANOTHER WORLD ON A RAY-GUN RAMPAGE!\n\t\t-- Teenagers from Outher Space (1959)\n\nWhich will be Her Mate... MAN OR BEAST?\nMeet Velda -- the Kind of Woman -- Man or Gorilla would kill... to Keep.\n\t\t-- Untamed Mistress (1960)\n\nNOW AN ALL-MIGHTY ALL-NEW MOTION PICTURE BRINGS THEM TOGETHER FOR THE\nFIRST TIME...  HISTORY\'S MOST GIGANTIC MONSTERS IN COMBAT ATOP MOUNT FUJI!\n\t\t-- King Kong vs. Godzilla (1963)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10038,24,'\nThe Great Movie Posters:\n\nHOT STEEL BETWEEN THEIR LEGS!\n\t\t-- The Cycle Savages (1969)\n\nThe Hand that Rocks the Cradle...   Has no Flesh on It!\n\t\t-- Who Slew Auntie Roo? (1971)\n\nTWO GREAT BLOOD HORRORS TO RIP OUT YOUR GUTS!\n\t\t-- I Eat Your Skin & I Drink Your Blood (1971 double-bill)\n\nThey Went In People and Came Out Hamburger!\n\t\t-- The Corpse Grinders (1971)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10039,24,'\nThe Great Movie Posters:\n\nKATHERINE HEPBURN as the lying, stealing, singing, preying witch girl\nof the Ozarks... \"Low down white trash\"?  Maybe so -- but let her hear\nyou say it and she\'ll break your head to prove herself a lady!\n\t\t-- Spitfire (1934)\n\nDo Native Women Live With Apes?\n\t\t-- Love Life of a Gorilla (1937)\n\nJUNGLE KISS!!\n\tWhen she looked into his eyes, felt his arms around her -- she\nwas no longer Tura, mysterious white goddess of the jungle tribes --\nshe was no longer the frozen-hearted high priestess under whose hypnotic\nspell the worshippers of the great crocodile god meekly bowed -- she\nwas a girl in love!\n\tSEE the ravening charge of the hundred scared CROCODILES!\n\t\t-- Her Jungle Love (1938)\n\nLOVE! HATE! JOY! FEAR! TORMENT! PANIC! SHAME! RAGE!\n\t\t-- Intermezzo (1939)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10040,24,'\nThe Great Movie Posters:\n\nPOWERFUL! SHOCKING! RAW! ROUGH! CHALLENGING! SEE A LITTLE GIRL MOLESTED!\n\t\t-- Never Take Candy from a Stranger (1963)\n\nShe Sins in Mobile --\nMarries in Houston --\nLoses Her Baby in Dallas --\nLeaves Her Husband in Tuscon --\nMEETS HARRU IN SAN DIEGO!...\nFIRST -- HARLOW!\nTHEN -- MONROE!\nNOW -- McCLANAHAN!!!\n\t\t-- The Rotten Apple (1963), Rue McClanahan\n\n*NOT FOR SISSIES! DON\'T COME IF YOU\'RE CHICKEN! \nA Horrifying Movie of Wierd Beauties and Shocking Monsters...\n1001 WIERDEST SCENES EVER!!  MOST SHOCKING THRILLER OF THE CENTURY!\n\t\t-- Teenage Psycho meets Bloody Mary (1964)  (Alternate Title:\n\t\t   The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and\n\t\t   Became Mixed Up Zombies)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10041,24,'\nThe Great Movie Posters:\n\nSCENES THAT WILL STAGGER YOUR SIGHT!\n-- DANCING CALLED GO-GO\n-- MUSIC CALLED JU-JU\n-- NARCOTICS CALLED BANGI!\n-- FIRES OF PUBERTY!\n\tSEE the burning of a virgin!\n\tSEE power of witch doctor over women!\n\tSEE pygmies with fantastic Physical Endowments!!!\n\t\t-- Kwaheri (1965)\n\nThe Big Comedy of Nineteen-Sexty-Sex!\n\t\t-- Boeing-Boeing (1965)\n\nAN ASTRONAUT WENT UP-\nA \"GUESS WHAT\" CAME DOWN!\n\tThe picture that comes complete with a 10-foot tall monster to\ngive you the wim-wams!\n\t\t-- Monster a Go-Go (1965)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10042,24,'\nThe Great Movie Posters:\n\nSEE rebel guerrillas torn apart by trucks!\nSEE corpses cut to pieces and fed to dogs and vultures!\nSEE the monkey trained to perform nursing duties for her paralyzed owner!\n\t\t-- Sweet and Savage (1983)\n\nWhat a Guy!  What a Gal!  What a Pair!\n\t\t-- Stroker Ace (1983)\n\nIt\'s always better when you come again!\n\t\t-- Porky\'s II: The Next Day (1983)\n\nYou Don\'t Have to Go to Texas for a Chainsaw Massacre!\n\t\t-- Pieces (1983)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10043,24,'\nThe Great Movie Posters:\n\nSHE TOOK ON A WHOLE GANG! A howling hellcat humping a hot steel hog\non a roaring rampage of revenge!\n\t\t-- Bury Me an Angel (1972)\n\nWHAT\'S THE SECRET INGREDIENT USED BY THE MAD BUTCHER FOR HIS SUPERB SAUSAGES?\n\t\t-- Meat is Meat (1972)\n\nTODAY the Pond!\nTOMORROW the World!\n\t\t-- Frogs (1972)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10044,24,'\nThe Great Movie Posters:\n\nShe\'s got the biggest six-shooters in the West!\n\t\t-- The Beautiful Blonde from Bashful Bend (1949)\n\nCAST OF 3,000!\n4 WRITERS,\n2 DIRECTORS,\n3 CAMERAMEN,\n3 PRODUCERS!\n1 YEAR TO MAKE THIS FILM --\n24 YEARS TO REHEARSE --\n20 YEARS TO DISTRIBUTE!\n\tBEAUTIFUL BEYOND WORDS!\n\tAWE-INSPIRING! VITAL!\nTHE PRINCE OF PEACE PROVIDES THE ANSWER TO EVERY PROBLEM!\nBe Brave--bring your troubles and your family to:\n\tHISTORY\'S MOST SUBLIME EVENT! YOU\'LL FIND GOD RIGHT IN THERE!\n\t\t-- The Prince of Peace (1948).  Starring members of the\n\t\t   Wichita Mountain Pageant featuring Millard Coody as Jesus.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10045,24,'\nThe Great Movie Posters:\n\nThe Miracle of the Age!!!  A LION in your lap!  A LOVER in your arms!\n\t\t-- Bwana Devil (1952)\n\nOVERWHELMING!  ELECTRIFYING!  BAFFLING!\nFire Can\'t Burn Them!  Bullets Can\'t Kill Them!  See the Unfolding of\nthe Mysteries of the Moon as Murderous Robot Monsters Descend Upon the\nEarth!  You\'ve Never Seen Anything Like It!  Neither Has the World!\n\tSEE... Robots from Space in All Their Glory!!!\n\t\t-- Robot Monster (1953)\n\n1,965 pyramids, 5,337 dancing girls, one million swaying bullrushes,\n802 scared bulls!\n\t\t-- The Egyptian (1954)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10046,24,'\nThe Great Movie Posters:\n\nThe nightmare terror of the slithering eye that unleashed agonizing\nhorror on a screaming world!\n\t\t-- The Crawling Eye (1958)\n\nSEE a female colossus... her mountainous torso, scyscraper limbs,\ngiant desires!\n\t\t-- Attack of the Fifty-Foot Woman (1958)\n\nHere Is Your Chance To Know More About Sex.\nWhat Should a Movie Do?  Hide Its Head in the Sand Like an Ostrich?\nOr Face the JOLTING TRUTH as does...\n\t\t-- The Desperate Women (1958)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10047,24,'\nThe Great Movie Posters:\n\nThey hungered for her treasure!  And died for her pleasure!\nSEE Man-Fish Battle Shark-Man-Killer!\n\t\t-- The Golden Mistress (1954)\n\nSee Jane Russell in 3-D; She\'ll Knock Both Your Eyes Out!\n\t\t-- The French Line (1954)\n\nSee Jane Russell Shake Her Tamborines... and Drive Cornel WILDE!\n\t\t-- Hot Blood (1956)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10048,24,'\nThe Great Movie Posters:\n\nWhen You\'re Six Tons -- And They Call You Killer -- It\'s Hard To Make Friends...\n\t\t-- Namu, the Killer Whale (1966)\n\nMeet the Girls with the Thermo-Nuclear Navels!\n\t\t-- Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs (1966)\n\nA GHASTLY TALE DRENCHED WITH GOUTS OF BLOOD SPURTING FROM THE VICTIMS\nOF A CRAZED MADMAN\'S LUST.\n\t\t-- A Taste of Blood (1967)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10049,24,'\nThe Hollywood tradition I like best is called \"sucking up to the stars.\"\n\t\t-- Johnny Carson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10050,24,'\nThe horror... the horror!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10051,24,'\nThe human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for\nlists of \"Ten Best\".\n\t\t-- H. Allen Smith\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10052,24,'\nThe human brain is a wonderful thing.  It starts working the moment\nyou are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.\n\t\t-- Sir George Jessel\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10053,24,'\n\"The human brain is like an enormous fish -- it is flat and slimy and\nhas gills through which it can see.\"\n\t\t-- Monty Python\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10054,24,'\nThe key to building a superstar is to keep their mouth shut.  To reveal\nan artist to the people can be to destroy him.  It isn\'t to anyone\'s\nadvantage to see the truth.\n\t\t-- Bob Ezrin, rock music producer\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10055,24,'\nThe last vestiges of the old Republic have been swept away.\n\t\t-- Governor Tarkin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10056,24,'\nThe mome rath isn\'t born that could outgrabe me.\n\t\t-- Nicol Williamson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10057,24,'\nThe old complaint that mass culture is designed for eleven-year-olds\nis of course a shameful canard.  The key age has traditionally been\nmore like fourteen.\n\t\t-- Robert Christgau, \"Esquire\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10058,24,'\nThe older I grow, the less important the comma becomes.  Let the reader\ncatch his own breath.\n\t\t-- Elizabeth Clarkson Zwart\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10059,24,'\nThe only \"ism\" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.\n\t\t-- Dorothy Parker\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10060,24,'\nThe only real advantage to punk music is that nobody can whistle it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10061,24,'\nThe plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.\n\t\t-- David Lardner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10062,24,'\nThe profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid,\nstable business.\n\t\t-- John Steinbeck\n\t[Horse racing *is* a stable business ...]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10063,24,'\nThe Ranger isn\'t gonna like it, Yogi.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10064,24,'\nThe real trouble with reality is that there\'s no background music.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10065,24,'\nThe story you are about to hear is true.  Only the names have been\nchanged to protect the innocent.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10066,24,'\nThe streets were dark with something more than night.\n\t\t-- Raymond Chandler\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10067,24,'\nThe sun never sets on those who ride into it.\n\t\t-- RKO\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10068,24,'\nThe trouble with superheros is what to do between phone booths.\n\t\t-- Ken Kesey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10069,24,'\nThe typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more\nannoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.\n\t\t-- Oscar Wilde\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10070,24,'\nThe ultimate game show will be the one where somebody gets killed at the end.\n\t\t-- Chuck Barris, creator of \"The Gong Show\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10071,24,'\nThe world has many unintentionally cruel mechanisms that are not\ndesigned for people who walk on their hands.\n\t\t-- John Irving, \"The World According to Garp\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10072,24,'\nThe Worst Musical Trio\n\tThere are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at\na famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their\ninstrument.  This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian\ngentleman who was owed a personal favour by Georges Enesco, the celebrated\nviolinist.  Enesco agreed to give lessons to the son who was quite\nunhampered by great musical talent.\n\tThree years later the boy\'s father insisted that he give a public\nconcert.  \"His aunt said that nobody plays the violin better than he does.\nA cousin heard him the other day and screamed with enthusiasm.\"  Although\nEnesco feared the consequences, he arranged a recital at the Salle Gaveau\nin Paris.  However, nobody bought a ticket since the soloist was unknown.\n\t\"Then you must accompany him on the piano,\" said the boy\'s father,\n\"and it will be a sell out.\"\n\tReluctantly, Enesco agreed and it was.  On the night an excited\naudience gathered.  Before the concert began Enesco became nervous and\nasked for someone to turn his pages.\n\tIn the audience was Alfred Cortot, the brilliant pianist, who\nvolunteered and made his way to the stage.\n\tThe soloist was of uniformly low standard and next morning the\nmusic critic of Le Figaro wrote: \"There was a strange concert at the Salle\nGaveau last night.  The man whom we adore when he plays the violin played\nthe piano.  Another whom we adore when he plays the piano turned the pages.\nBut the man who should have turned the pages played the violin.\"\n\t\t-- Stephen Pile, \"The Book of Heroic Failures\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10073,24,'\nThere are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need\nthe money; the second that you have something to say that you think the\nworld should know; the third is that you can\'t think what to do with the\nlong winter evenings.\n\t\t-- Quentin Crisp\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10074,24,'\nThere are three rules for writing a novel.  Unfortunately, no one knows\nwhat they are.\n\t\t-- Somerset Maugham\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10075,24,'\nThere are two jazz musicians who are great buddies.  They hang out and play\ntogether for years, virtually inseparable.  Unfortunately, one of them is\nstruck by a truck and killed.  About a week later his friend wakes up in\nthe middle of the night with a start because he can feel a presence in the\nroom.  He calls out, \"Who\'s there?  Who\'s there?  What\'s going on?\"\n\t\"It\'s me -- Bob,\" replies a faraway voice.\n\tExcitedly he sits up in bed.  \"Bob!  Bob!  Is that you?  Where are\nyou?\"\n\t\"Well,\" says the voice, \"I\'m in heaven now.\"\n\t\"Heaven!  You\'re in heaven!  That\'s wonderful!  What\'s it like?\"\n\t\"It\'s great, man.  I gotta tell you, I\'m jamming up here every day.\nI\'m playing with Bird, and \'Trane, and Count Basie drops in all the time!\nMan it is smokin\'!\"\n\t\"Oh, wow!\" says his friend. \"That sounds fantastic, tell me more,\ntell me more!\"\n\t\"Let me put it this way,\" continues the voice.  \"There\'s good news\nand bad news.  The good news is that these guys are in top form.  I mean\nI have *never* heard them sound better.  They are *wailing* up here.\"\n\t\"The bad news is that God has this girlfriend that sings...\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10076,24,'\nThere are two ways of disliking art.   One is to dislike it.  The other is\nto like it rationally.\n\t\t-- Oscar Wilde\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10077,24,'\nThere are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the\nother is to read Pope.\n\t\t-- Oscar Wilde\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10078,24,'\nThere is much Obi-Wan did not tell you.\n\t\t-- Darth Vader\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10079,24,'\nThere is nothing wrong with writing ... as long as it is done in private\nand you wash your hands afterward.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10080,24,'\nThere is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and\nthat is not being talked about.\n\t\t-- Oscar Wilde\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10081,24,'\nThere\'s a trick to the Graceful Exit.  It begins with the vision to\nrecognize when a job, a life stage, a relationship is over -- and to let\ngo.  It means leaving what\'s over without denying its validity or its\npast importance in our lives.  It involves a sense of future, a belief\nthat every exit line is an entry, that we are moving on, rather than out.\nThe trick of retiring well may be the trick of living well.  It\'s hard to\nrecognize that life isn\'t a holding action, but a process.  It\'s hard to\nlearn that we don\'t leave the best parts of ourselves behind, back in the\ndugout or the office. We own what we learned back there.  The experiences\nand the growth are grafted onto our lives.  And when we exit, we can take\nourselves along -- quite gracefully.\n\t\t-- Ellen Goodman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10082,24,'\nThere\'s nothing remarkable about it.  All one has to do is hit the right\nkeys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.\n\t\t-- J.S. Bach\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10083,24,'\nThere\'s nothing to writing.  All you do is sit at a typewriter and open a vein.\n\t\t-- Red Smith\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10084,24,'\nThere\'s something the technicians need to learn from the artists.\nIf it isn\'t aesthetically pleasing, it\'s probably wrong.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10085,24,'\nThere\'s such a thing as too much point on a pencil.\n\t\t-- H. Allen Smith, \"Let the Crabgrass Grow\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10086,24,'\nThey can\'t stop us... we\'re on a mission from God!\n\t\t-- The Blues Brothers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10087,24,'\n... TheysaidDoyouseethebiggreenglowinthedarkhouseuponthehill?andIsaidYesIsee\nthebiggreenglowinthedarkhouseuponthehillTheresabigdarkforestbetweenmeandthe\nbiggreenglowinthedarkhouseuponthehillandalittleoldladyridingonaHoovervacuum\ncleanersayingIllgetyoumyprettyandyourlittledogTototoo ...\n\n\tI don\'t even *HAVE* a dog Toto...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10088,24,'\nThis door is baroquen, please wiggle Handel.\n(If I wiggle Handel, will it wiggle Bach?)\n\t\t-- Found on a door in the MSU music building\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10089,24,'\nThis is Jim Rockford.\nAt the tone leave your name and message; I\'ll get back to you.\n\nThis is Maria, Liberty Bail Bonds.  Your client, Todd Lieman, skipped and\nhis bail is forfeit.  That\'s the pink slip on your \'74 Firebird, I believe.\nSorry, Jim, bring it on over.\n\nThis is Marilyn Reed, I wanta talk to you...  Is this a machine?  I don\'t\ntalk to machines!  [Click]\n\t\t-- \"The Rockford Files\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10090,24,'\nThis is the ____\b\b\b\bLAST time I take travel suggestions from Ray Bradbury!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10091,24,'\nThis is the Baron.  Angel Martin tells me you buy information.  Ok,\nmeet me at one a.m. behind the bus depot, bring five-hundred dollars\nand come alone.  I\'m serious!\n\t\t-- \"The Rockford Files\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10092,24,'\nThis novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.\n\t\t-- Dorothy Parker\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10093,24,'\nThis unit... must... survive.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10094,24,'\nThis wasn\'t just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible.  This was terrible\nwith raisins in it.\n\t\t-- Dorothy Parker\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10095,24,'\n\tThree actors, Tom, Fred, and Cec, wanted to do the jousting scene\nfrom Don Quixote for a local TV show.  \"I\'ll play the title role,\" proposed\nTom.  \"Fred can portray Sancho Panza, and Cecil B. De Mille.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10096,24,'\nThree hours a day will produce as much as a man ought to write.\n\t\t-- Trollope\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10097,24,'\nTo be is to do.\n\t\t-- I. Kant\nTo do is to be.\n\t\t-- A. Sartre\nDo be a Do Bee!\n\t\t-- Miss Connie, Romper Room\nDo be do be do!\n\t\t-- F. Sinatra\nYabba-Dabba-Doo!\n\t\t-- F. Flintstone\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10098,24,'\nToday you\'ll start getting heavy metal radio on your dentures.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10099,24,'\nToday\'s thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new\ncereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream.  Join us soon for more \nspectacular adventure starring...  Tippy, the Wonder Dog!\n\t\t-- Bob & Ray\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10100,24,'\n\"Today, of course, it is considered very poor taste to use the F-word\nexcept in major motion pictures.\"\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"$#$');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10101,24,'#^');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10102,24,'!^');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10103,24,'&@');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10104,24,'@!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10105,24,'\nTraveling through hyperspace isn\'t like dusting crops, boy.\n\t\t-- Han Solo\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10106,24,'\nTrifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.\n\t\t-- Michelangelo\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10107,24,'\n\"Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10108,24,'\nTV is chewing gum for the eyes.\n\t\t-- Frank Lloyd Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10109,24,'\nUnprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking,\nunskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.\n\t\t-- Edward Gibbon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10110,24,'\nUse an accordion.  Go to jail.\n\t\t-- KFOG, San Francisco\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10111,24,'\nUse what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds\nsang there except those that sang best.\n\t\t-- Henry Van Dyke\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10112,24,'\nVery few people do anything creative after the age of thirty-five.  The\nreason is that very few people do anything creative before the age of\nthirty-five.\n\t\t-- Joel Hildebrand\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10113,24,'\n VII. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel\n      entrances; others cannot.\n\tThis trompe l\'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least\n\tit is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall\'s surface to\n\ttrick an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical\n\tspace.  The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to\n\tfollow into the painting.  This is ultimately a problem of art, not\n\tof science.\nVIII. Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent.\n\tCartoon cats possess even more deaths than the traditional nine lives\n\tmight comfortably afford.  They can be decimated, spliced, splayed,\n\taccordion-pleated, spindled, or disassembled, but they cannot be\n\tdestroyed.  After a few moments of blinking self pity, they reinflate,\n\telongate, snap back, or solidify.\n  IX. For every vengeance there is an equal and opposite revengeance.\n\tThis is the one law of animated cartoon motion that also applies to\n\tthe physical world at large.  For that reason, we need the relief of\n\twatching it happen to a duck instead.\n   X. Everything falls faster than an anvil.\n\tExamples too numerous to mention from the Roadrunner cartoons.\n\t\t-- Esquire, \"O\'Donnell\'s Laws of Cartoon Motion\", June 1980\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10114,24,'\nWatch all-night Donna Reed reruns until your mind resembles oatmeal.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10115,24,'\nWatch your mouth, kid, or you\'ll find yourself floating home.\n\t\t-- Han Solo\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10116,24,'\nWe don\'t like their sound.  Groups of guitars are on the way out.\n\t\t-- Decca Recording Company, turning down the Beatles, 1962\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10117,24,'\nWe have art that we do not die of the truth.\n\t\t-- Nietzsche\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10118,24,'\nWe\'ll be recording at the Paradise Friday night.  Live, on the Death label.\n\t\t-- Swan, \"Phantom of the Paradise\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10119,24,'\nWe\'ll know that rock is dead when you have to get a degree to work in it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10120,24,'\nWe\'re constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which\npeople are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products.\nJust as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spirtual\nand emotional feelings.  It might taste good or clever, but in the long run,\nit\'s not going to do anything for you.\n\t\t-- Bob Dylan, \"LA Times\", September 5, 1984\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10121,24,'\nWe\'re only in it for the volume.\n\t\t-- Black Sabbath\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10122,24,'\n\"Well, if you can\'t believe what you read in a comic book, what *___\b\b\bcan*\nyou believe?!\"\n\t\t-- Bullwinkle J. Moose [Jay Ward]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10123,24,'\n\t\"Well, it\'s garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet.\nThe rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily\nmaim or kill innocent little children.\"\n\t\"Oh, so you don\'t like it?\"\n\t\"Don\'t like it?  I\'m CRAZY for it.\"\n\t\t-- The Killing Joke\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10124,24,'\n\"Well, that was a piece of cake, eh K-9?\"\n\n\"Piece of cake, Master?  Radial slice of baked confection ... coefficient of\nrelevance to Key of Time: zero.\"\n\t\t-- Dr. Who\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10125,24,'\nWharbat darbid yarbou sarbay?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10126,24,'\nWhat a bonanza!  An unknown beginner to be directed by Lubitsch, in a script\nby Wilder and Brackett, and to play with Paramount\'s two superstars, Gary\nCooper and Claudette Colbert, and to be beaten up by both of them!\n\t\t-- David Niven, \"Bring On the Empty Horses\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10127,24,'\nWhat an artist dies with me!\n\t\t-- Nero\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10128,24,'\nWhat an author likes to write most is his signature on the back of a cheque.\n\t\t-- Brendan Francis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10129,24,'\n\t\"What are you watching?\"\n\t\"I don\'t know.\"\n\t\"Well, what\'s happening?\"\n\t\"I\'m not sure...  I think the guy in the hat did something terrible.\"\n\t\"Why are you watching it?\"\n\t\"You\'re so analytical.  Sometimes you just have to let art flow\nover you.\"\n\t\t-- The Big Chill\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10130,24,'\nWhat did you bring that book I didn\'t want to be read to out of about\nDown Under up for?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10131,24,'\n\t\"What do you do when your real life exceeds your wildest fantasies?\"\n\t\"You keep it to yourself.\"\n\t\t-- Broadcast News\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10132,24,'\nWhat ever happened to happily ever after?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10133,24,'\nWhat garlic is to food, insanity is to art.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10134,24,'\nWhat no spouse of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is working\nwhen he\'s staring out the window.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10135,24,'\n\t\"What was the worst thing you\'ve ever done?\"\n\t\"I won\'t tell you that, but I\'ll tell you the worst thing that\never happened to me... the most dreadful thing.\"\n\t\t-- Peter Straub, \"Ghost Story\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10136,24,'\nWhen all else fails, try Kate Smith.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10137,24,'\nWhen confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by\nreducing it to the question, \"How would the Lone Ranger handle this?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10138,24,'\nWhen in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.\n\t\t-- Raymond Chandler\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10139,24,'\nWhen one woman was asked how long she had been going to symphony concerts,\nshe paused to calculate and replied, \"Forty-seven years -- and I find I mind\nit less and less.\"\n\t\t-- Louise Andrews Kent\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10140,24,'\nWhere is John Carson now that we need him?\n\t\t-- RLG\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10141,24,'\nWhile he was in New York on location for _Bronco Billy_ (1980), Clint\nEastwood agreed to a television interview.  His host, somewhat hostile,\nbegan by defining a Clint Eastwood picture as a violent, ruthless,\nlawless, and bloody piece of mayhem, and then asked Eastwood himself to\ndefine a Clint Eastwood picture.  \"To me,\" said Eastwood calmly, \"what\na Clint Eastwood picture is, is one that I\'m in.\"\n\t\t-- Boller and Davis, \"Hollywood Anecdotes\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10142,24,'\nWhistler\'s mother is off her rocker.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10143,24,'\nWho is D.B. Cooper, and where is he now?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10144,24,'\nWho is John Galt?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10145,24,'\nWho is W.O. Baker, and why is he saying those terrible things about me?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10146,24,'\nWho was that masked man?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10147,24,'\nWho\'s on first?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10148,24,'\nWho\'s scruffy-looking?\n\t\t-- Han Solo\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10149,24,'\nWhy am I so soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?\n\t\t-- Paul Simon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10150,24,'\n\"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus\'?  I could\nhave told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing.\"\n\t\t-- Ian Shoales\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10151,24,'\n\tWhy are you doing this to me?\n\tBecause knowledge is torture, and there must be awareness before\nthere is change.\n\t\t-- Jim Starlin, \"Captain Marvel\", #29\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10152,24,'\nWhy do we have two eyes?  To watch 3-D movies with.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10153,24,'\nWhy not? -- What? -- Why not? -- Why should I not send it? -- Why should I\nnot dispatch it? -- Why not? -- Strange!  I don\'t know why I shouldn\'t --\nWell, then -- You will do me this favor. -- Why not? -- Why should you not\ndo it? -- Why not? -- Strange!  I shall do the same for you, when you want\nme to.  Why not?  Why should I not do it for you?  Strange!  Why not? --\nI can\'t think why not.\n\t\t-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, from a letter to his cousin Maria,\n\t\t   \"The Definitive Biography of PDQ Bach\", Peter Schickele\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10154,24,'\nWhy you say you no bunny rabbit when you have little powder-puff tail? \n\t\t-- The Tasmanian Devil\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10155,24,'\nWorking with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.\n\t\t-- Christopher Plummer\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10156,24,'\nWorth seeing?  Yes, but not worth going to see.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10157,24,'\nWould it help if I got out and pushed?\n\t\t-- Princess Leia Organa\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10158,24,'\nWriting about music is like dancing about architecture.\n\t\t-- Frank Zappa\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10159,24,'\nWriting free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10160,24,'\nX-rated movies are all alike ... the only thing they leave to the\nimagination is the plot.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10161,24,'\nYeah, that\'s me, Tracer Bullet.  I\'ve got eight slugs in me.  One\'s lead,\nthe rest bourbon.  The drink packs a wallop, and I pack a revolver.  I\'m\na private eye.\n\t\t-- \"Calvin & Hobbes\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10162,24,'\nYear  Name\t\t\t\tJames Bond\tBook\n----  --------------------------------\t--------------\t----\n50\'s  James Bond TV Series\t\tBarry Nelson\n1962  Dr. No\t\t\t\tSean Connery\t1958\n1963  From Russia With Love\t\tSean Connery\t1957\n1964  Goldfinger\t\t\tSean Connery\t1959\n1965  Thunderball\t\t\tSean Connery\t1961\n1967* Casino Royale\t\t\tDavid Niven\t1954\n1967  You Only Live Twice\t\tSean Connery\t1964\n1969  On Her Majesty\'s Secret Service\tGeorge Lazenby\t1963\n1971  Diamonds Are Forever\t\tSean Connery\t1956\n1973  Live And Let Die\t\t\tRoger Moore\t1955\n1974  The Man With The Golden Gun\tRoger Moore\t1965\n1977  The Spy Who Loved Me\t\tRoger Moore\t1962 (novelette)\n1979  Moonraker\t\t\t\tRoger Moore\t1955\n1981  For Your Eyes Only\t\tRoger Moore\t1960 (novelette)\n1983  Octopussy\t\t\t\tRoger Moore\t1965\n1983* Never Say Never Again\t\tSean Connery\n1985  A View To A Kill\t\t\tRoger Moore\t1960 (novelette)\n1987  The Living Daylights\t\tTimothy Dalton\t1965 (novelette)\n\t* -- Not a Broccoli production.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10163,24,'\nYevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.\n\t\t-- John Cheever\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10164,24,'\n\t\"You boys lookin\' for trouble?\"\n\t\"Sure.  Whaddya got?\"\n\t\t-- Marlon Brando, \"The Wild Ones\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10165,24,'\nYou\'re all clear now, kid.  Now blow this thing so we can all go home.\n\t\t-- Han Solo\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10166,24,'\n\"You\'ve got to have a gimmick if your band sucks.\"\n\t\t-- Gary Giddens\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10167,24,'\nZero Mostel: That\'s it baby!  When you got it, flaunt it!  Flaunt it!\n\t\t-- Mel Brooks, \"The Producers\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10168,25,'\t\t (  /\\__________/\\  )\n\t\t  \\(^ @___..___@ ^)/\n\t\t   /\\ (\\/\\/\\/\\/) /\\\n\t\t  /  \\(/\\/\\/\\/\\)/  \\\n\t\t-(    \"\"\"\"\"\"\"\"\"\"    )\n\t\t  \\      _____      /\n\t\t  (     /(   )\\     )\n\t\t  _)   (_V) (V_)   (_\n\t\t (V)(V)(V)   (V)(V)(V)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10169,25,'\n\t\t ___          ______\t       Frobtech, Inc.\n                /__/\\     ___/_____/\\          \n                \\  \\ \\   /         /\\\\\n                 \\  \\ \\_/__       /  \\         \"If you\'ve got the job,\n                 _\\  \\ \\  /\\_____/___ \\         we\'ve got the frob.\"\n                // \\__\\/ /  \\       /\\ \\\n        _______//_______/    \\     / _\\/______\n       /      / \\       \\    /    / /        /\\\n    __/      /   \\       \\  /    / /        / _\\__\n   / /      /     \\_______\\/    / /        / /   /\\\n  /_/______/___________________/ /________/ /___/  \\\n  \\ \\      \\    ___________    \\ \\        \\ \\   \\  /\n   \\_\\      \\  /          /\\    \\ \\        \\ \\___\\/\n      \\      \\/          /  \\    \\ \\        \\  /\n       \\_____/          /    \\    \\ \\________\\/\n            /__________/      \\    \\  /\n            \\   _____  \\      /_____\\/\n             \\ /    /\\  \\    / \\  \\ \\\n              /____/  \\  \\  /   \\  \\ \\\n              \\    \\  /___\\/     \\  \\ \\\n               \\____\\/            \\__\\/\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10170,25,'\n_/I\\_____________o______________o___/I\\     l  * /    /_/ *   __  \'     .* l\nI\"\"\"_____________l______________l___\"\"\"I\\   l      *//      _l__l_   . *.  l\n [__][__][(******)__][__](******)[__][] \\l  l-\\ ---//---*----(oo)----------l\n [][__][__(******)][__][_(******)_][__] l   l  \\\\ // ____ >-(    )-<    /  l\n [__][__][_l    l[__][__][l    l][__][] l   l \\\\)) ._****_.(......) .@@@:::l\n [][__][__]l   .l_][__][__]   .l__][__] l   l   ll  _(o_o)_        (@*_*@  l\n [__][__][/   <_)[__][__]/   <_)][__][] l   l   ll (  / \\  )     /   / / ) l\n [][__][ /..,/][__][__][/..,/_][__][__] l   l  / \\\\  _\\  \\_   /     _\\_\\   l\n [__][__(__/][__][__][_(__/_][__][__][] l   l______________________________l\n [__][__]] l     ,  , .      [__][__][] l\n [][__][_] l   . i. \'/ ,     [][__][__] l        /\\**/\\       season\'s\n [__][__]] l  O .\\ / /, O    [__][__][] l       ( o_o  )_)       greetings\n_[][__][_] l__l=======\'=l____[][__][__] l_______,(u  u  ,),__________________\n [__][__]]/  /l\\-------/l\\   [__][__][]/       {}{}{}{}{}{}<R>\n\nIn Ellen\'s house it is warm and toasty while fuzzies play in the snow outside.\n\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10171,25,'\n    ***\n  *******\n *********\n ****** Confucious say: \"Is stuffy inside fortune cookie.\"\n  *******\n    ***\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10172,25,'\nSANTA IS BRINGING GOOD WISHES FROM ALL THE\nMICRO ARTISTS GANG!  MAY 1988 BE A HAPPY YEAR!\n\n\n\t\t\t\t\t     \\__\\_ :. ___/\n\t\t\t\t\t\t..\\  /--\n :.______ :  .:*  :  . _ .:  :..  .  :   . .  :    ()_ .:\n  ((     \\. :./(__ :._O_)________:______,____:____/  *\\_o\n====((    \\: (****) (***) :. ...: .. .  ()_______/\\\\ __-\'\n \\____((   \\ ()oo()_/ /.:  :  ..________/_____ll   -/.: ..\n (      ((  \\(())))__/   .  ..  \\\\.: ..(   )  ll (  l_.:\n(       / (( \\__*__)___:___ :  : ))   .) /--------\\ \\ \\\n(      /    ((_____________) .. //  . / / /..:: .  )_)_\\\n (____/_____________________\\__// :  /_/_/  :..  :/_/ \\_\\\n /_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/    /_/_/\n\n\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10173,25,'\n\t\t\t ___====-_  _-====___\n\t\t  _--~~~#####// \'  ` \\\\#####~~~--_\n\t\t-~##########// (    ) \\\\##########~-_\n\t       -############//  |\\^^/|  \\\\############-\n\t     _~############//   (O||O)   \\\\############~_ \n\t    ~#############((     \\\\//     ))#############~  \n\t   -###############\\\\    (oo)    //###############-\n\t  -#################\\\\  / `\' \\  //#################- \n\t -###################\\\\/  ()  \\//###################-\n\t_#/|##########/\\######(  (())  )######/\\##########|\\#_\n\t|/ |#/\\#/\\#/\\/  \\#/\\##|  \\()/  |##/\\#/  \\/\\#/\\#/\\#| \\|\n\t`  |/  V  V  `   V  )||  |()|  ||(  V   \'  V /\\  \\|  \'\n\t   `   `  `      `  / |  |()|  | \\  \'      \'<||>  \'\n\t\t\t   (  |  |()|  |  )\\        /|/\n\t\t\t  __\\ |__|()|__| /__\\______/|/\n\t\t\t (vvv(vvvv)(vvvv)vvv)______|/\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10174,25,'\n\t\t    ___====-_  _-====___\n\t      _--~~~#####//      \\\\#####~~~--_\n\t   _-~##########// (    ) \\\\##########~-_\n\t  -############//  :\\^^/:  \\\\############-\n\t_~############//   (@::@)   \\\\############~_\n       ~#############((     \\\\//     ))#############~\n      -###############\\\\    (^^)    //###############-\n     -#################\\\\  / \"\" \\  //#################-\n    -###################\\\\/      \\//###################-\n   _#/:##########/\\######(   /\\   )######/\\##########:\\#_\n   :/ :#/\\#/\\#/\\/  \\#/\\##\\  :  :  /##/\\#/  \\/\\#/\\#/\\#: \\:\n   \"  :/  V  V  \"   V  \\#\\: :  : :/#/  V   \"  V  V  \\:  \"\n      \"   \"  \"      \"   \\ : :  : : /   \"      \"  \"   \"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10175,25,'\n\t\t\t_-^--^=-_\n\t\t   _.-^^          -~_\n\t\t_--                  --_\n\t       <                        >)\n\t       |                         |\n\t\t\\._                   _./\n\t\t   ```--. . , ; .--\'\'\'\n\t\t\t | |   |\n\t\t      .-=||  | |=-.\n\t\t      `-=#$');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10176,25,'&');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10177,25,'$#=-\'\n\t\t\t | ;  :|\n\t\t_____.,-#');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10178,25,'&$@');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10179,25,'#&#~,._____\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10180,25,'\n      _\n  _  / \\\t\t\t   o\n / \\ | |\t\t       o\t   o\t\t o\n | | | |   _\t\t\to    o\t\t       o       o\n | \\_| |  / \\\t\t      o\t\t\t    o\t o\n  \\__  |  | |\t\t  o\t\t\t      o\n     | |  | |\t\t ______\t  ~~~~\t\t    _____\n     | |__/ |\t       / ___--\\\\ ~~~\t\t __/_____\\__\n     |\t___/\t      / \\--\\\\  \\\\   \\ ___\t<__  x x  __\\\n     | |\t     / /\\\\  \\\\\t     ))\t \\\t   (  \"\t )\n     | |     -------(---->>(@)--(@)-------\\----------< >-----------\n     | |   //\t    | | //__________  /\t   \\\t____)\t(___\t  \\\\\n     | |  //\t  __|_|\t ( --------- )\t    //// ______ /////\\\t   \\\\\n\t //\t  |    (  \\ ______  /\t   <<<< <>-----<<<<< /\t    \\\\\n\t//\t (     )\t\t      / /\t  \\` \\__     \\\\\n       //-------------------------------------------------------------\\\\\n\nEvery now and then, when your life gets complicated and the weasels start\nclosing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then\ndrive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at\ntop volume and at least a pint of ether.\n\t\t-- Hunter S. Thompson, \"Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10181,25,'\nYou are here:   \n\t\t***\n\t\t***\n\t     *********\n\t      *******\n\t       *****\n\t\t***\n\t\t *\n\n\t\t But you\'re not all there.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10182,26,'AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)\n\tA friend will step forward and confide in you about your breath.  Rely\n\ton your outgoing personality and winning smile to get you into a lot\n\tof trouble.  Be relaxed, things will change.  Look for a pink slip on\n\tpayday.  Stop wetting your bed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10183,26,'\nAQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)\n\tYou are the type of person who never has enough money to do what\n\tyou want.  Don\'t expect things to get any better today, either.\n\tAs a matter of fact they might get worse.  Intensify your\n\trelationship with your bank and any friends you have who might be\n\table to lend you a few bucks.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10184,26,'\nAQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)\n\tYou have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive.\n\tYou lie a great deal.  On the other hand, you are inclined to be\n\tcareless and impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes over\n\tand over again.  People think you are stupid.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10185,26,'\nARIES (Mar. 21 - Apr. 19)\n\tBe cheerful today. People who don\'t like you will outnumber those\n\twho do.  You have warts.  Focus on domestic status, financial matters,\n\tand venereal disease.  Look for involvement with Libra or Aquarius\n\tnatives; probably a fistfight with one of each.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10186,26,'\nARIES (Mar. 21 - Apr. 19)\n\tYou are a wonderfully interesting, honest, hard-working person\n\tand you should make many new friends, but you won\'t because you\'ve\n\tgot a mean streak in you a mile wide.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10187,26,'\nARIES (Mar. 21 - Apr. 19)\n\tYou are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt.  You\n\tare quick tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice.  You are\n\tnot very nice.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10188,26,'\nAstrology... just a bunch of Taurus.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10189,26,'\nCANCER (June 21 - July 22)\n\tThis is a good time for those of you who are rich and happy,\n\tbut a poor time for those of you born under this sign who are\n\tpoor and unhappy.  To tell you the truth, any day is tough\n\twhen you\'re poor and unhappy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10190,26,'\nCANCER (June 21 - July 22)\n\tYou are sympathetic and understanding to other people\'s problems.\n\tThey think you are a sucker.  You are always putting things off.\n\tThat\'s why you\'ll never make anything of yourself.  Most welfare\n\trecipients are Cancer people.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10191,26,'\nCAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)\n\tFollow your instincts.  You are much too scatterbrained to do anything\n\telse, such as think.  Romance is in the air, but not for you, so forget\n\tit.  That pimple on the end of your nose will get worse.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10192,26,'\nCAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)\n\tPlay your hunches.  This is a day when luck will play an important\n\tpart in your life.  If you were smarter, you wouldn\'t need so much\n\tluck and you wouldn\'t be reading your horoscope, either.  You are\n\ta suspicious person, and it will occur to you that astrologers\n\tdon\'t know what they\'re talking about any more than your Aunt Martha.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10193,26,'\nCAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)\n\tYou are conservative and afraid of taking risks.  You don\'t do\n\tmuch of anything and are lazy.  There has never been a Capricorn\n\tof any importance.  Capricorns should avoid standing still for\n\ttoo long as they tend to take root and become trees.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10194,26,'\nGEMINI (May 21 - June 20)\n\tA day to take the initiative.  Put the garbage out, for\n\tinstance, and pick up the stuff at the dry cleaners.  Watch\n\tthe mail carefully, although there won\'t be anything good\n\tin it today, either.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10195,26,'\nGEMINI (May 21 - June 20)\n\tGood news and bad news highlighted.  Enjoy the good news while you\n\tcan; the bad news will make you forget it.  You will enjoy praise\n\tand respect from those around you; everybody loves a sucker.  A short\n\ttrip is in the stars, possibly to the men\'s room.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10196,26,'\nGEMINI (May 21 - June 20)\n\tYou are a quick and intelligent thinker.  People like you because\n\tyou are bisexual.  However, you are inclined to expect too much\n\tfor too little.  This means you are cheap.  Geminis are known for\n\tcommitting incest.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10197,26,'\nI do not take drugs -- I am drugs.\n\t\t-- Salvador Dali\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10198,26,'\nLEO (Jul. 23 - Aug. 22)\n\tYou consider yourself a born leader.  Others think you are pushy.\n\tMost Leo people are bullies.  You are vain and dislike honest\n\tcriticism.  Your arrogance is disgusting.  Leo people are thieves.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10199,26,'\nLEO (Jul. 23 - Aug. 22)\n\tYour determination and sense of humor will come to the fore.  Your\n\tability to laugh at adversity will be a blessing because you\'ve got\n\ta day coming you wouldn\'t believe.  As a matter of fact, if you can\n\tlaugh at what happens to you today, you\'ve got a sick sense of humor.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10200,26,'\nLEO (Jul. 23 - Aug. 22)\n\tYour presence, poise, charm and good looks won\'t even help you today.\n\tLook over your shoulder; an ugly person may be following you.  Be on\n\tyour toes.  Brush your teeth.  Take Geritol.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10201,26,'\nLIBRA (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)\n\tMajor achievements, new friends, and a previously unexplored way\n\tto make a lot of money will come to a lot of people today, but\n\tunfortunately you won\'t be one of them.  Consider not getting out\n\tof bed today.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10202,26,'\nLIBRA (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)\n\tYou are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality.\n\tIf you are a man, you are more than likely gay.  Chances for\n\temployment and monetary gains are excellent.  Most Libra women\n\tare prostitutes.  All Libra people die of venereal disease.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10203,26,'\nLIBRA (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)\n\tYour desire for justice and truth will be overshadowed by your\n\tdesire for filthy lucre and a decent meal.  Be gracious and\n\tpolite.  Someone is watching you, so stop staring like that.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10204,26,'\nPISCES (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20)\n\tTake the high road, look for the good things, carry the American\n\tExpress card and a weapon.  The world is yours today, as nobody\n\telse wants it.  Your mortgage will be foreclosed.  You will probably\n\tget run over by a bus.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10205,26,'\nPISCES (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20)\n\tYou have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed\n\tby the CIA or FBI.  You have minor influence over your associates\n\tand people resent your flaunting of your power.  You lack confidence\n\tand you are generally a coward.  Pisces people do terrible things to\n\tsmall animals.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10206,26,'\nPISCES (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20)\n\tYou will get some very interesting news of a promotion today. It\n\twill go to someone in the office you dislike and will be the job\n\tyou wanted.  Don\'t lend anyone a car today.  You don\'t have a car.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10207,26,'\nSAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)\n\tMove slowly today, be deliberate.  Indications are for bleeding\n\tulcers.  Drink milk.  Try not to be your usual offensive and\n\tobnoxious self.  Call your mother.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10208,26,'\nSAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)\n\tYou are optimistic and enthusiastic.  You have a reckless\n\ttendency to rely on luck since you lack talent.  The majority\n\tof Sagittarians are drunks or dope fiends or both.  People\n\tlaugh at you a great deal.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10209,26,'\nSAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)\n\tYour efforts to help a little old lady cross a street will\n\tbackfire when you learn that she was waiting for a bus.  Subdue\n\timpulse you have to push her out into traffic.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10210,26,'\nSCORPIO (Oct. 23 - Nov 21.)\n\tYou are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted.  You will\n\tachieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of\n\tethics.  Most Scorpio people are murdered.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10211,26,'\nSCORPIO (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)\n\tFriends abound today, seeking repayment of past loans.  Smile.  Check\n\tfor concealed weapons.  Your natural cheerfulness makes others want\n\tto throw up.  Knock it off.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10212,26,'\nSCORPIO (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)\n\tYou will receive word today that you are eligible to win a million\n\tdollars in prizes.  It will be from a magazine trying to get you to\n\tsubscribe, and you\'re just dumb enough to think you\'ve got a chance\n\tto win.  You never learn.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10213,26,'\nTAURUS (Apr. 20 - May 20)\n\tLet your self-confidence and determination shine, and people will\n\tfind you boorish and headstrong.  Travel, promotion, and romance\n\thighlighted, if you live long enough.  Don\'t take any wooden nickels.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10214,26,'\nTAURUS (Apr. 20 - May 20)\n\tTake advantage of this opportunity to get a little extra sleep,\n\tbecause you\'re going to miss the bus again today anyway.  You will\n\tdecide to lose weight today, just like yesterday.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10215,26,'\nTAURUS (Apr. 20 - May 20)\n\tYou are practical and persistent.  You have a dogged determination\n\tand work like hell.  Most people think you are stubborn and bull\n\theaded.  You are a Communist.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10216,26,'\nThose who believe in astrology are living in houses with foundations of\nSilly Putty.\n\t\t-- Dennis Rawlins\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10217,26,'\nVIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sep. 22)\n\tGet it in writing.  Be careful.  You are surrounded by lechers and\n\tassholes; birds of a feather flock together.  Trust no one.  People\n\twill not be offended, because they\'ve come to recognize you for the\n\tparanoid neurotic that you are.  Your dentures are loose.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10218,26,'\nVIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)\n\tLearn something new today, like how to spell or how to count\n\tto ten without using your fingers.  Be careful dressing this\n\tmorning.  You may be hit by a car later in the day and you\n\twouldn\'t want to be taken to the doctor\'s office in some of\n\tthat old underwear you own.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10219,26,'\nVIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)\n\tYou are the logical type and hate disorder.  This nitpicking is\n\tsickening to your friends.  You are cold and unemotional and\n\tsometimes fall asleep while making love.  Virgos make good bus\n\tdrivers.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10220,26,'\nYOUR FOAMY FUTURE\n\tby Miss Fortune\n\nAQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)\n\tYou have nothing better to think about than what to wear and what\n\ttype of champagne to take to the neighbors Halloween Party.  Just take\n\tbeer!  Don\'t try to copy the \"Joneses\", pull them up to your level and\n\tremember, in California Hoalloween is redundant anyhow.\n\nPISCES (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20)\n\tFocus on strengthening friendships this Fall.  You find others are\n\tfascinated by your intelligence, your wit, your drinking ability, and\n\tyour bank account.  Just make sure you realize it\'s far more impressive\n\twhen other discover your good qualities without your help.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10221,26,'\nYOUR FOAMY FUTURE\n\tby Miss Fortune\n\nARIES (Mar. 21 - Apr. 19)\n\tMatters are not good, where you health is concerned.  This Fall, be\n\tsure to \"walk groundly, talk profoundly, drink roundly, and sleep\n\tsoundly\" and you will live all the days of your life.\n\nTAURUS (Apr. 20 - May 20)\n\tYou spent a fortune on beer this past summer and now find yourself\n\tin a deep depression because you can\'t afford even one of your favorite\n\tbrewskis.  Don\'t fret too much, Taurus.  To get back on your feet\n\tsimply miss two car payments.\n\nGEMINI (May 21 - June 21)\n\tYou think you\'re falling in love with a person who has a lot in\n\tcommon with yourself.  You both prefer ales, you\'ve both tried your\n\thand at homebrewing, and you both want to visit every new brewpub that\n\topens.  Sounds impressive but remember you really don\'t know your\n\tpartner until you meet in court.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10222,26,'\nYOUR FOAMY FUTURE\n\tby Miss Fortune\n\nCANCER (June 22 - July 22)\n\tYou\'ve been awarded a clean bill of health this month and you feel you\n\towe it all to the excessive amount of Vitamin B, Iron, and Malt you get\n\tin your beer.  Being healthy is admirable but don\'t you think you\'re\n\tgoing to feel stupid one day lying in a hospital dying of nothing?\n\nLEO (July 23 - Aug. 22)\n\tYou will soon acquire a large sum of money and will be in seventh\n\theaven as you head to the nearest Liquor Barn and buy all the beer they\n\thave in stock.  Whoever said money couldn\'t buy happiness didn\'t know\n\twhere to shop.\n\nVIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)\n\tYour late night, beer drinking, \"life in the fast lane\" parties are\n\taffecting your job production the next morning.  You feel a nine to\n\tfive job is not for a \"party animal\" such as yourself and may feel\n\tthe need for a career change.  Just remember, people who work sitting\n\tdown get paid more than people who work standing up.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10223,26,'\nYOUR FOAMY FUTURE\n\tby Miss Fortune\n\nSCORPIO (Oct. 24 - Nov. 21)\n\t\"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?\" is your\n\tmotto.  You don\'t do much other than sleep, eat, down brewskis, and\n\twatch TV.  Your friends and family are constantly pestering you to\n\tclean up your act.  But it\'s OK, Scorpio.  A kick in the ass is at\n\tleast one step forward.\n\nSAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)\n\tYou\'ve been on a diet for two weeks and all you\'ve lost is two weeks.\n\tMy advice is to drink copius amounts of beer just to get the thought\n\tof food out of your mind.  Remember, a good reducing exercise consists\n\tof placing both hands against the table edge and pushing back.\n\nCAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)\n\tRemember that day you had one beer too many and did something\n\textremely foolish?  Now your friends are coming and going and your\n\tenemies accumulating.  Cheer up!  All is not lost.  It\'s better to\n\tbe hated for what you are than loved for what you\'re not.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10224,27,'A cannibal warrior is experiencing severe gastric distress, so he goes\nto his Village Witch Doctor with his complaint.  The VWD examines him\nand, concluding that something he ate disagreed with him, began to cross\nexamine him about his recent diet.\n\t\"Well, I ate a missionary yesterday.  Do you think that could be\nthe problem?\"\n\tThe VWD says \"Hmmmm.\"  (All doctors say \"Hmmmm.\")  \"That could be.\nTell me a bit about this missionary.\"\n\t\"Well, he was tall for a white man, wearing a brown robe.  He was\nwalking down the trail, not watching for danger, so I speared him, dragged\nhim home, cleaned him, boiled him and ate him.\"\n\t\"Ah-hah!\" (All doctors say \"Ah-hah!\")  There\'s your problem,\" smiles\nthe VWD.  You boiled him, but he was a friar!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10225,27,'\n\tA carpet installer decides to take a cigarette break after completing\nthe installation in the first of several rooms he has to do.  Finding them\nmissing from his pocket he begins searching, only to notice a small lump in\nhis recently completed carpet-installation.  Not wanting to pull up all that\nwork for a lousy pack of cigarettes he simply walks over and pounds the lump\nflat.  Foregoing the break, he continues on to the other rooms to be carpeted.\n\tAt the end of the day, while loading his tools into his truck, two\nevents occur almost simultaneously: he spies his pack of cigarettes on the\ndashboard of the truck, and the lady of the house summons him imperiously:\n\"Have you seen my parakeet?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10226,27,'\nA castaway was washed ashore after many days on the open sea.  The island\non which he landed was populated by savage cannibals who tied him, dazed\nand exhausted, to a thick stake.  They then proceeded to cut his arms\nwith their spears and drink his blood.  This continued for several days\nuntil the castaway could stand no more.  He yelled for the cannibal chief\nand declared, \"You can kill me if you want to, but this torture with the\nspears has got to stop.  Dammit, I\'m tired of getting stuck for the drinks.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10227,27,'\nA GOOD WAY TO THREATEN somebody is to light a stick of dynamite.  Then you\ncall the guy and hold the burning fuse to the phone.  \"Hear that?\" you say.\n\"That\'s dynamite, baby.\"\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10228,27,'\n\tA guy returns from a long trip to Europe, having left his beloved \ndog in his brother\'s care.  The minute he\'s cleared customs, he calls up his \nbrother and inquires after his pet.\n\t\"Your dog\'s dead,\" replies his brother bluntly.\n\tThe guy is devastated.  \"You know how much that dog meant to me,\" \nhe moaned into the phone.  \"Couldn\'t you at least have thought of a nicer way \nof breaking the news?  Couldn\'t you have said, `Well, you know, the dog got \noutside one day, and was crossing the street, and a car was speeding around a \ncorner...\' or something...?  Why are you always so thoughtless?\"\n\t\"Look, I\'m sorry,\" said his brother, \"I guess I just didn\'t think.\"\n\t\"Okay, okay, let\'s just put it behind us.  How are you anyway?\nHow\'s Mom?\"\n\tHis brother is silent a moment.  \"Uh,\" he stammers, \"uh... Mom got \noutside one day...\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10229,27,'\n\tA guy walks into a pub and asks: \"Does anyone here own a Doberman?\nI feel really bad about this, but my Chihuahua just killed it.\"\n\tA man leaps to his feet and replies, \"Yes, I do, but how can that\nbe?  I raised that dog from a pup to be a vicious killer.\"\n\t\"Yes, well, that\'s all well and good,\" replied the first, \"but my\ndog\'s stuck in its throat.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10230,27,'\n\tA man is walking along when he sees a funeral procession going by, the\nlongest procession he\'s ever seen.  It seems to consist of the hearse,\nfollowed by a man with a Doberman on a leash, followed by several hundred\nother men.  After watching for a few minutes, he can restrain his curiosity\nno longer, and walks up to one of the mourners.\n\t\"Excuse me, sir, I don\'t mean to bother you in your moment of grief,\nbut this is the strangest procession I\'ve ever seen.  What happened, who is\nthe funeral for?\"\n\t\"Well, it\'s nothing special, really, the funeral is for the mother-\nin-law of the man at the front of the procession.  You see, his Doberman\nattacked and killed her.\"\n\t\"That\'s awful!\", replies the onlooker.  \"But... um... tell me, you\ndon\'t think he\'d let me borrow that dog, do you?\"\n\t\"Get in line, buddy,\" replies the mourner, \"get in line.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10231,27,'\nA New Yorker was driving through Berkeley when he saw a big crowd gathered\nby the side of the street.  Curiousity got the better of him and he leaned\nout of his window to ask an onlooker what was going on.  The fellow explained\nthat a protestor against the U.S. position in South America had doused\nhimself with gasoline and set himself on fire.  \"That\'s terrible,\" gasped\nthe man.  \"But why is everyone still standing around?\"\n\t\"Well, they\'re taking up a collection for his wife and kids,\" the\nonlooker explained.  \"Would you be willing to help?\"\n\t\"Well, sure,\" replied the New Yorker.  \"I suppose I could spare a\ngallon or two.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10232,27,'\nA priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon\ntwo locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope.  \"That\'s what\nI like to see\", said the priest, \"A man helping his fellow man\".\n\nAs he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, \"Well, he\nsure doesn\'t know the first thing about shark fishing.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10233,27,'\nA Southern boy graduates from high school heads north to college, taking the\nfamily dog, Old Blue with him, for company.  He\'s only been there a few weeks\nwhen he gets a call from his girlfriend; seems like they\'ve got a problem,\nand she needs a thousand dollars to take care of it.  The boy calls his folks:\n\t\"How are you?\" they ask.\n\t\"Oh, I\'m fine,\" he says.\n\t\"And how,\" they ask, \"is Old Blue?\"\n\t\"Well, he\'s kind of depressed.  You see, there\'s this lady up here\nthat teaches dogs to talk, and Ol\' Blue is feelin\' kind of left out \'cause\nhe\'s the only dog that doesn\'t know how to talk.  She charges a thousand\ndollars.\"\n\tThe parents send the boy the thousand dollars, he forwards it to Mary\nLou, and everything\'s fine until Christmas vacation.  The boy leaves Ol\' Blue\nat his dorm, \'cause he just can\'t figure out what to tell his parents.  Sure\nenough, when he gets home, the first thing his father wants to know is\n\"Where\'s Old Blue?\"\n\t\"Well, Pa,\" says the boy.  \"I was driving on home and Old Blue was\ntalking away about this and that when we passed the Buford\'s farm.  Old Blue,\nwell, he said, `Say, what do you think your mother would do if I told her\nthat your father\'s been comin\' over here and seeing Mrs. Buford all these\nyears?\'\"\n\tThe father looks at his son -- \"You shot that dog, didn\'t you, boy?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10234,27,'\nA truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10235,27,'\nA truly wise woman never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10236,27,'\nA woman was married to a golfer.  One day she asked, \"If I were\nto die, would you remarry?\"\n\tAfter some thought, the man replied, \"Yes, I\'ve been very happy in\nthis marriage and I would want to be this happy again.\"\n\tThe wife asked, \"Would you give your new wife my car?\"\n\t\"Yes,\" he replied.  \"That\'s a good car and it runs well.\"\n\t\"Well, would you live in this house?\"\n\t\"Yes, it is a lovely house and you have decorated it beautifully. \nI\'ve always loved it here.\"\n\t\"Well, would you give her my golf clubs?\"\n\t\"No.\"\n\t\"Why not?\"\n\t\"She\'s left handed.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10237,27,'\nAfter [Benjamin] Franklin came a herd of Electrical Pioneers whose names\nhave become part of our electrical terminology: Myron Volt, Mary Louise Amp,\nJames Watt, Bob Transformer, etc.  These pioneers conducted many important\nelectrical experiments.  For example, in 1780 Luigi Galvani discovered (this\nis the truth) that when he attached two different kinds of metal to the leg\nof a frog, an electrical current developed and the frog\'s leg kicked, even\nthough it was no longer attached to the frog, which was dead anyway.\nGalvani\'s discovery led to enormous advances in the field of amphibian\nmedicine.  Today, skilled veterinary surgeons can take a frog that has been\nseriously injured or killed, implant pieces of metal in its muscles, and\nwatch it hop back into the pond just like a normal frog, except for the fact\nthat it sinks like a stone.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"What is Electricity?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10238,27,'\nAll extremists should be taken out and shot.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10239,27,'\nAlways run from a knife and rush a gun.\t\n\t\t-- Jimmy Hoffa\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10240,27,'\nAn encounter with a beautiful woman is good medicine for the well organized\nlogical mind -- a little jolt never hurt.  Note that the anarchists have\nbeen saying this for years about the A-bomb and civilization.\n\t\t-- Encyclopadia Apocryphia\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10241,27,'\nAn old man is lying on his deathbed with all his children, grandchildren and\ngreat-grandchildren gathered around, teary-eyed at the approaching finale of\na deeply loved family member.  The old man is in a light coma, and the doctors\nhave confirmed that the waiting will be over within the next twenty-four\nhours.  Suddenly, the old man opens his eyes whispers: \"I must be dreaming\nof heaven...  I smell my daughter Lisle\'s strudel.\"\n\t\"No, no, grandfather, you are not dreaming\", he is reassured.\n\"Grandmother is baking strudel right now.\"\n\tA faint smile crosses the old man\'s face.  \"Go and get me a sliver of\nstrudel,\" he says, \"she bakes the finest strudel in the world.\"\n\tOne of the grandchildren is immediately dispatched to honor the old\nman\'s request, and, after what seems a long time, he returns empty-handed.\n\t\"Did you bring me some of Lisle\'s strudel?\", the old man quavers.\n\t\"I\'m... I\'m very sorry, grandfather, but she says it\'s for the\nfuneral.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10242,27,'\nAnd so it goes.  It is humiliating, when you should know better, to become\nvictim of the timeless story of the little brown dog running across the\nfreight yard, crossing all the railroad tracks until a switch engine nipped\noff the end of his tail between wheel and rail.  The little dog yelped, and\nhe spun so quickly to check himself out that the next wheel chopped through\nhis little brown neck.  The moral is, of course, never lose your head over\na piece of tail.\n\t\t-- John D. MacDonald, \"The Scarlet Ruse\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10243,27,'\nAnd so, men, we can see that human skin is an even more complex and\nfascinating organ than we thought it was, and if we want to keep it looking\ngood, we have to care for it as though it were our own.  One approach is to\nundergo a painful surgical procedure wherein your skin is turned inside-out,\nso the young cells are on the outside, but then of course you have the\nunpleasant side effect that your insides gradually fill up with dead old\ncells and you explode.  So this procedure is pretty much limited to top\nHollywood stars for whom youthful beauty is a career necessity, such as\nElizabeth Taylor and Orson Welles.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Saving Face\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10244,27,'\nAs a professional humorist, I often get letters from readers who are\ninterested in the basic nature of humor.  \"What kind of a sick perverted\ndisgusting person are you,\" these letters typically ask, \"that you make\njokes about setting fire to a goat?\" ...\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Why Humor is Funny\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10245,27,'\nAs I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very\npleasurable - until I realized it wasn\'t a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!!\n\t\t-- Jack Handley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10246,27,'\nAs you reach for the web, a venomous spider appears.  Unable to pull\nyour hand away in time, the spider promptly, but politely, bites you.\nThe venom takes affect quickly causing your lips to turn plaid along\nwith your complexion.  You become dazed, and in your stupor you fall\nfrom the limbs of the tree.  Snap!  Your head falls off and rolls all\nover the ground.  The instant before you croak, you hear the whoosh of\na vacuum being filled by the air surrounding your head.  Worse yet, the\nspider is suing you for damages.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10247,27,'\nAt social gatherings, I would amuse everyone by standing uponst the\ncoffee table and striking meself repeatedly upon the head with a brick.\n\t\t-- H.R. Gumby\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10248,27,'\n\"Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think\nAbraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?\n\n\t(1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.\n\t(2) Advising the President.\n\t(3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.\"\n\t\t-- David Letterman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10249,27,'\nBitch, bitch, bitch --\nThat\'s all I ever hear,\nEver since the dog ate the baby,\n\"Get rida the dog, get rida the dog.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10250,27,'\nBlood flows down one leg and up the other.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10251,27,'\nBlood is thicker than water, and much tastier.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10252,27,'\n\"By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began\nto suspect \'Hungry\' ...\"\n\t\t-- Gary Larson, \"The Far Side\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10253,27,'\n****  CONVENTION REMINDER\n\nNo experiment was approved for the convention by the Human Subjects \nCommittee of the Psychiatric Convention Planning Team.  If you notice \nsmoke coming from under a closed door, if you find a body on the hotel \ncarpet, or if you just meet someone who orders you to press a button \nmarked \"450 volts\", react as you would normally.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10254,27,'\nCrush!  Kill!  Destroy!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10255,27,'\nCut a man\'s hand when you fight him.  He\'ll freeze, fascinated by the sight\nof his own blood.  That\'s when you stick him in the throat.\n\t\t-- Gerry Youghkins\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10256,27,'\nDad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why\nseveral of us died of tuberculosis.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10257,27,'\nDammit, how many times do I have to tell you?  _____\b\b\b\b\bFIRST you rape, ____\b\b\b\bTHEN you pillage!!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10258,27,'\nDamned if I know.  And you can be fuckin\' sure I\'ll never rent no car\nfrom Avis again.\n\t\t-- Herbie Sperling, on the meaning of two pistols and an\n\t\taxe used in three murders being found in the trunk of his\n\t\trented car.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10259,27,'\nDear Abby:\n\tI have two brothers.  One was sent to the electric chair when I was\na child.  My mother died in an insane asylum.  My father is a pimp and my\nsister is a very successful and highly paid prostitute.  My other brother\nis a graduate student attending Purdue University.\n\tRecently I met a wonderful girl who has just been released from prison\nfor murdering her illegitimate child with a Zip-loc sandwich bag.  We\'re very\nmuch in love and want to be married after her venereal disease is cured.\n\tMy problem is this: should I tell her about my brother at Purdue?\n\n\t\tSincerely,\n\t\tUndecided.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10260,27,'\nDessert is probably the most important stage of the meal, since it will be\nthe last thing your guests remember before they pass out all over the table.\n\t\t-- The Anarchist Cookbook\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10261,27,'\nDid you know?\n\t\tEVERY TIME A LOAF OF BREAD IS BAKED,\n\t\t\t   APPROXIMATELY\n\t\t       150,000,000 YEASTS ARE\n\t\t\t      KILLED\n\n\t\t Come to the award-winning 1987 film,\n\t\t  \"The Very Small and Quiet Screams\"\n\t-- a cinematic electromicrograph of yeasts being baked.\n\nA must for those who care about yeast, and especially for those who don\'t.\n\n\t\t\t     SPONSORED BY\n\t\tBrown Anaerobe Rights Coalition (BARC)\n\t       Student Bakers for Social Responsibility\n\t      Coalition for the ELevation of Life (CELL)\n\t\t   Campus Crusade for Fetal Matters\n\nDefend all life: \"From greatest to least, from human to yeast!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10262,27,'\nDig it, first they killed those pigs, then they ate dinner in the same\nroom with them, then they even shoved a fork in a victim\'s stomach.  Wild!\n\t\t-- Bernadine Dohrn, on the Manson killings\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10263,27,'\nDoes it rape elephants?\n\t\t-- Brent Byer\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10264,27,'\nDon\nAmeche:\tI didn\'t know you had a cousin Penelope, Bill!\n\tWas she pretty?\nW.C.:\tWell, her face was so wrinkled it looked like seven miles of\n\tbad road.  She had so many gold teeth, Don, she use to have\n\tto sleep with her head in a safe.  She died in Bolivia.\nDon:\tOh Bill, it must be hard to lose a relative.\nW.C.:\tIt\'s almost impossible.\n\t\t-- W.C. Fields, \"The Further Adventures of Larson E.\n\t\t   Whipsnade and other Tarradiddles\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10265,27,'\nDon\'t crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers!\n\t\t-- Firesign Theatre\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10266,27,'\nDozens of bears are found dead in Alaska and Canada every summer, killed\nby blood lost to the voracious mosquito.  The estimated life-expectancy\nof a naked man on the tundra in summer is about 15 minutes.  In that\ntime, approximately 250,000 mosquitoes would have drawn enough blood to\nkill him.\n\t\t-- Gus McLeavy, \"Day-by-Day Trivia Almanac\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10267,27,'\nDr. Fritzkee\'s Lucky Astrology Diet\n\nThe problem with the diets of today is that most women who do achieve\nthat magic weight, seventy-six pounds, are still fat.  Dr. Fritzkee\'s\nLucky Astrology Diet is a sure-fire method of reducing with the added\nluxury that you never feel hungry.\n\nHere\'s how the diet works:\n\n\tFOODS ALLOWED\nFirst Month:\tOne egg\nSecond Month:\tA raisin\nThird Month:\tPumpkin pie with whipped cream and chocolate sauce.\n\nIf after the third month you haven\'t gotten to your dream weight, try\nlopping off parts of your body until those scales tip just right for you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10268,27,'\nDriving in Texas is simple.  For the first 100 miles you swerve to avoid\njackrabbits.  For the second 100 miles you hit whatever jackrabbits get in\nthe way.  After that you chase off into the brush after them.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10269,27,'\nDuring a grouse hunt in North Carolina two intrepid sportsmen were \nblasting away at a clump of trees near a stone wall.  Suddenly a red-face \ncountry squire popped his head over the wall and shouted, \"Hey, you almost \nhit my wife.\"\n\n\"Did I?\" cried one hunter, aghast.  \"Terribly sorry.  Have a shot at\nmine, over there.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10270,27,'\nEat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse\nwill happen to you the rest of the day.\n\n[Well, actually, to either of you...  Ed.]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10271,27,'\nEat the rich -- the poor are tough and stringy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10272,27,'\nEven popularity can be overdone.  In Rome, along at first, you are full of\nregrets that Michaelangelo died; but by and by you only regret that you didn\'t\nsee him do it.\n\t\t-- Mark Twain, \"Pudd\'nhead Wilson\'s Calendar\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10273,27,'\nEvery suicide is a solution to a problem.\n\t\t-- Jean Baechler\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10274,27,'\nFamous last words:\n\t1: Everything that you\'ll need to know is in the manual.\n\t2: You and what army?\n\t3: Don\'t worry, I can handle it.\n\t4: If you were as smart as you think you are, you wouldn\'t\n\t\tbe a cop.\n\t5: I don\'t see how they make a profit\n\t\tout of this stuff at a dollar and a quarter a fifth.\n\t6: We\'re just getting into semantics again.\n\t7: Everything\'s under control.\n\t8: He\'s an asshole!  Don\'t try to \"shush\" me!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10275,27,'\nFine day to throw a party.  Throw him as far as you can.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10276,27,'\nFOR SALE:\n\tParachute.  Used once.  Never opened.  Slightly Stained.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10277,27,'\nFORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS!\t#6\n\nRAZORBACK:\t\t\tPaul Harbride, 1984, 2 hours 25 min.\n\tOne of the great Australian films of the early 1980\'s, and\n\targuably the best movie ever made about a large, man-eating\n\thog.  Some violence.  With Gregory Harrison.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10278,27,'\nFORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #10\n\nCARTABLANCA:\n\tBogart stars as the owner of a north african nightclub that sells\n\tonly Mexican beer.  Of course, this policy gets him into no end of\n\ttrouble with the local French authorities who would really prefer\n\twine and the occupying Germans who believe that only their beer is\n\tfit to be sold.  Wacky events ensue until the gripping climax in\n\twhich the much-hated German beer distributer is drowned in a vat.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10279,27,'\nFORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #11\n\nMONOPOLI:\n\tPeter Weir\'s classic film examining the false heroism of parlour\n\tgames.  The powerful ending of the film sees one young man after\n\tanother charge toward GO, only to senselessly lose his life on the\n\tBoardwalk property.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10280,27,'\nFORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #4\n\nWITLESS:\n\tPeter Weir directs Sylvester Stallone in the most challenging role\n\tof his career.  Stallone plays a Philadelphia police officer on the\n\trun from corrupt officials.  He is wounded and then nursed back to\n\thealth by Amish Mennonites.  Fearful that they might unwittingly\n\treveal his hiding place, he blows them all away.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10281,27,'\nFORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #7\n\nOUT OF \"OUT OF AFRICA\":\n\tThis film is a compilation of selected news clips depicting audiences\n\tfrantically pushing and shoving to get out of theatres where \"Out of\n\tAfrica\" is showing.  Many people are trampled to death in the frenzy.\n\tDue to its violence and offensive language, not recommended for\n\tyounger viewers.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10282,27,'\nFORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #8\n\nTHE SMURFS AND THE CUISINART (1986)\n\tThe lovable little blue Smurfs encounter a lovable little kitchen\n\tappliance, which invites them to play.  The Smurfs learn a valuable\n\t(if sometimes fatal) lesson.\n\nTHE SMURFS AND THE CARBON-DIOXIDE INDUSTRIAL LASER (1987)\n\tThe inevitable sequel.  The lovable and somewhat mangled surviving\n\tSmurfs team up with the Care Bears to encounter a cute, lovable piece\n\tof high-tech welding equipment, which teaches them the magic of\n\tbecoming rather greasy smoke.  Heartwarming fun for the entire family.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10283,27,'\nFORTUNE PRESENTS FAMOUS LAST WORDS:\t#4\n\nSocrates:\t\tI DRANK WHAT!?!?\nTarzan:\t\t\tWho greased the grape viiiiiiiiiiiinnnneee........\nAl Capone:\t\tThere\'s a violin in my violin case!\nPilot, TWA Fl. #343:\tWhat\'s a mountain goat doing \'way up here?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10284,27,'\nGod grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to\nchange the things we can, and wisdom to hide the bodies of the slobs we\nhave to kill for pissing us off ...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10285,27,'\nGoldfish... what stupid animals.  Even Wayne Cody stops eating before\nhe bursts.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10286,27,'\nGroundhog Day has been observed only once in Los Angeles because when the\ngroundhog came out of its hole, it was killed by a mudslide.\n\t\t-- Johnny Carson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10287,27,'\nGuns don\'t kill people.  Bullets kill people.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10288,27,'\nHappy is the child whose father died rich.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10289,27,'\nHarris had the beefsteak pie between his knees, and was carving it, and George\nand I were waiting with our plates ready.\n\t\"Have you got a spoon there?\" says Harris; \"I want a spoon to help\nthe gravy with.\"\n\tThe hamper was close behind us, and George and I both turned round to\nreach one out.  We were not five seconds getting it.  When we looked round\nagain, Harris and the pie were gone!\n\tIt was a wide, open field.  There was not a tree or a bit of hedge for \nhundreds of yards.  He could not have tumbled into the river, because we were\non the water side of him, and he would have had to climb over us to do it.\n\tGeorge and I gazed all about.  Then we gazed at each other.\n\t\"Has he been snatched up to heaven?\" I queried.\n\t\"They\'d hardly have taken the pie, too,\" said George.\n\tThere seemed weight in this objection, and we discarded the heavenly\ntheory.\n\t\"I suppose the truth of the matter is,\" suggested George, descending\nto the commonplace and practicable, \"that there has been an earthquake.\"\n\tAnd then he added, with a touch of sadness in his voice: \"I wish he\nhadn\'t been carving that pie.\"\n\t\t-- Jerome K. Jerome, \"Three Men In A Boat\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10290,27,'\nHarry and Fred were playing their Sunday afternoon golf game.  The game, as\nalways, was close.  They were at the treacherous 12th hole: a par three that\nrequired a perfect first shot over a large pond and onto a tiny green.  There\nwere sand traps on the other three sides of the green, and a small road 50\nfeet beyond it.  Harry went first.  He carefully addressed the ball and hit\na good shot that landed just on the edge of the green, narrowly avoiding the\npond.  Just as Fred addressed his ball, he looked up and noticed a funeral\nprocession along the road just behind the green.  Fred put down his club,\ntook his hat off, and waited for the entire procession to pass.  As soon as\nthe cars were gone he put his hat back on and started addressing the ball\nagain.  Harry said, \"Damn, Fred.  That was a really nice thing you did,\nwaiting for the funeral to pass like that.\"\n\tFred finished his swing, making perfect contact with the ball.  It\nwas an excellent shot that landed 7 feet from the hole.  \"It\'s the least I\ncould do,\" he said, smiling at his shot, \"We were married for 22 years,\nyou know.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10291,27,'\n\tHarry, a golfing enthusiast if there ever was one, arrived home \nfrom the club to an irate, ranting wife.\n\t\"I\'m leaving you, Harry,\" his wife announced bitterly.  \"You\npromised me faithfully that you\'d be back before six and here it is almost\nnine.  It just can\'t take that long to play 18 holes of golf.\"\n\t\"Honey, wait,\" said Harry.  \"Let me explain.  I know what I promised\nyou, but I have a very good reason for being late.  Fred and I tee\'d off\nright on time and everything was find for the first three holes.  Then, on\nthe fourth tee Fred had a stroke.  I ran back to the clubhouse but couldn\'t\nfind a doctor.  And, by the time I got back to Fred, he was dead.  So, for\nthe next 15 holes, it was hit the ball, drag Fred, hit the ball, drag Fred...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10292,27,'\nHave you flogged your kid today?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10293,27,'\n\tHe had been bitten by a dog, but didn\'t give it much thought\nuntil he noticed that the wound was taking a remarkably long time to\nheal.  Finally, he consulted a doctor who took one look at it and\nordered the dog brought in.  Just as he had suspected, the dog had\nrabies.  Since it was too late to give the patient serum, the doctor\nfelt he had to prepare him for the worst.  The poor man sat down at the\ndoctor\'s desk and began to write.  His physician tried to comfort him.\n\"Perhaps it won\'t be so bad,\" he said. \"You needn\'t make out your will\nright now.\"\n\t\"I\'m not making out any will,\" relied the man.  \"I\'m just writing\nout a list of people I\'m going to bite!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10294,27,'\nHe heard the snick of a rifle bolt and found himself peering down the muzzle\nof a weapon held by a drunken liquor store owner -- \"There\'s a conflict,\" he\nsaid, \"there\'s a conflict between land and people... the people have to go...\"\n\t\t-- Stan Ridgeway, \"Call of the West\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10295,27,'\nHe is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the\ncabbages.\n\t\t-- Mark Twain, \"Pudd\'nhead Wilson\'s Calendar\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10296,27,'\nHe was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land.  He loved it so much he\nmade a woman out of dirt and married her.  But when he kissed her, she\ndisintegrated.  Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, \"Dust to\ndust,\" some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them.  At his hanging, he\ntold the others, \"I\'ll be waiting for you in heaven -- with a gun.\"\n\t\t-- Jack Handley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10297,27,'\nHe was the sort of person whose personality would be greatly improved\nby a terminal illness.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10298,27,'\nHe was the world\'s only armless sculptor.  He put the chisel in his mouth\nand his wife hit him on the back of the head with a mallet.\n\t\t-- Fred Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10299,27,'\nHe\'s got the heart of a little child, and he keeps it in a jar on his desk.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10300,27,'\n\t\"Heard you were moving your piano, so I came over to help.\"\n\t\"Thanks.  Got it upstairs already.\"\n\t\"Do it alone?\"\n\t\"Nope.  Hitched the cat to it.\"\n\t\"How would that help?\"\n\t\"Used a whip.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10301,27,'\nHello, friend!  You say things aren\'t going too well?  You say you have a \ndate with your favorite girl when it starts raining so hard you can\'t see?  \nAnd you\'re out on some back road when the car stalls and won\'t start, so \nyou set off accross the fields, and 50 feet of barbed wire hits you right \nsmack in the puss?  And then there\'s a big explosion behind you and you \ndon\'t hear your girl screaming any more?  \n\n\tWell, take a walk in the sun and hold your head up high!\n\tYou\'ll show the world; you\'ll tell them where to get off!\n\tYou\'ll never give up, never give up, never give up -- that ship!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10302,27,'\n\t\"Hello, Mrs. Premise!\"\n\t\"Oh, hello, Mrs. Conclusion!  Busy day?\"\n\t\"Busy? I just spent four hours burying the cat.\"\n\t\"Four hours to bury a cat!?\"\n\t\"Yes, he wouldn\'t keep still: wrigglin\' about, \'owlin\'...\"\n\t\"Oh, it\'s not dead then.\"\n\t\"Oh no, no, but it\'s not at all a well cat, and as we\'re goin\' away\nfor a fortnight I thought I\'d better bury it just to be on the safe side.\"\n\t\"Quite right.  You don\'t want to come back from Sorrento to a dead\ncat, do you?\"\n\t\t-- Monty Python\'s Flying Circus\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10303,27,'\nHelp Stamp Out Rape!  (Say Yes.)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10304,27,'\nHERE\'S A GOOD JOKE to do during an earthquake.  Straddle a big crack in\nthe earth and if it opens wider, go, \"Whoa! Whoa!\" and flap your arms\naround as if you\'re going to fall.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10305,27,'\nHire the handicapped -- they\'re fun to watch!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10306,27,'\nHome of Doberman Propulsion Laboratories: The ultimate in watchdog weaponry.\n\t\t-- Chris Shaw\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10307,27,'\nHow to Raise Your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children\n\t\t-- Book title by Lewis B. Frumkes\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10308,27,'\n\t\"How\'d you get that flat?\"\n\t\"Ran over a bottle.\"\n\t\"Didn\'t you see it?\"\n\t\"Damn kid had it under his coat.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10309,27,'\nI braved the contempt of my friends last week and ventured out to see\nBambi, the Disney rerelease that is proving to be a hit once again in the\nbox office.  I was looking forward to a gentle, soothing, late afternoon\nrelief from the Washington Summer.  Instead I was traumatized.  As a\npsycho-sexual return to the horrors of early adolescence, it couldn\'t be\nmore effective.  For the first half-hour, you\'re lulled into an agreeable\nsense of security and comfort.  Birds twitter; small rabbits turn out to\nbe great conversationalists.  Pop is what Senator Moynihan would describe\nas an absent father, but Mom\'s there to make you feel OK in the odd\nthunderstorm.  You make great friends, fool around on the ice, discover\nthe meadow, generally mellow out.  Then, without any particular warning,\nyour mom gets shot, your voice breaks, huge growths start appearing on\nyour head, and your peers start heading off into the clover with the\napparent intention of having sex.  Next thing you know, the forest burns\ndown. If I were still eight, I think I\'d prefer Rambo III.\n\t\t-- Townsend Davis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10310,27,'\nI can\'t stand this proliferation of paperwork.  It\'s useless to fight the\nforms.  You\'ve got to kill the people producing them.\n\t\t-- Vladimir Kabaidze, general director of the Ivanovo Machine\n\t\t   Building Works (near Moscow) in a speech to the Communist\n\t\t   Party Conference\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10311,27,'\nI collect rare photographs...  I have two...  One of Houdini locking his\nkeys in his car...  the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating\nup a child.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10312,27,'\nI could never learn to like her -- except on a raft at sea with no\nother provisions in sight.\n\t\t-- Mark Twain\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10313,27,'\nI don\'t want to alarm anybody, but there is an excellent chance that the\nEarth will be destroyed in the next several days.  Congress is thinking\nabout eliminating a federal program under which scientists broadcast signals\nto alien beings.  This would be a large mistake. Alien beings have nuclear\nblaster death cannons.  You cannot cut off their federal programs as if they\nwere merely poor people ...\n                -- Dave Barry, \"THE ALIENS ARE COMING, THE ALIENS ARE COMING!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10314,27,'\nI GUESS I KINDA LOST CONTROL because in the middle of the play I ran up\nand lit the evil puppet villain on fire.\n\nNo, I didn\'t. Just kidding.  I just said that to illustrate one of the\nhuman emotions which is freaking out.  Another emotion is greed, as when\nyou kill someone for money or something like that.  Another emotion is\ngenerosity, as when you pay someone double what he paid for his stupid\npuppet.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10315,27,'\nI GUESS OF ALL MY UNCLES, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him\nUncle Caveman because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he\'d eat\none of us.  Later, we found out he was a bear.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10316,27,'\nI GUESS WE WERE ALL GUILTY, in a way.  We shot him, we skinned him, and\nwe all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, \"I helped skin Bob.\"\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10317,27,'\nI had a dream that all the victims of The Pill came back...boy, were they mad!\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10318,27,'\nI had to hit him -- he was starting to make sense.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10319,27,'\nI have a very firm grasp on reality!  I can reach out and strangle it any time!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10320,27,'\n\t\"I know a life of crime led me to this sorry state.  I blame society.\nSociety made me what I am today!\"\n\t\"That\'s bullshit Archie.  You\'re just a young suburban punk like me.\"\n\t\"It still...  hurts... auugghh!\"\n\t\"You\'re going to be okay...\"\n\t\"...gurgle...\"\n\t\t\"... maybe not.\"\n\t\t-- Repo Man\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10321,27,'\n\"I know what you\'re thinking -- `Did he fire six shots or only five?\'\nWell, to tell you the truth, in all the excitement, I kind of lost track\nmyself.  But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the\nworld, and would blow your head clean off, you\'ve got to ask yourself\none question: `Do I feel lucky?\'  Well, do you, punk?\"\n\t\t-- Harry Callahan, badge #2211\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10322,27,'\nI love the smell of napalm in the morning.\n\t\t-- Robert Duval, \"Apocalypse Now\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10323,27,'\nI read a column by George Will that Scarface should be rated X because\nparents were taking their children to see it.  So what?  Why should the\nmotion-picture industry be responsible for our morality?\n\tDad says to Mom, \"Honey, Scarface is in town.\"\n\t\"What\'s it about?\"\n\t\"Human scum who kill each other over cocaine deals.\"\n\t\"Sounds great!  Let\'s take the kids!\"\n\t\t-- Ian Shoales\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10324,27,'\nI wrecked trains because I like to see people die.  I like to hear\nthem scream.\n\t\t-- Sylvestre Matuschka, \"the Hungarian Train Wreck Freak\",\n\t\t   escaped prison 1937, not heard from since\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10325,27,'\n\"I\'m terribly sorry, sir,\" the novice barber apologized, after badly nicking\na customer.  \"Let me wrap your head in a towel.\"\n\t\"That\'s all right,\" said the customer.  \"I\'ll just take it home under\nmy arm.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10326,27,'\nI\'ve never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother.\n\t\t-- W.C. Fields\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10327,27,'\nIF A KID ASKS YOU where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him\nis, \"God is crying.\"  And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing\nto tell him is, \"Probably because of something you did.\"\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10328,27,'\nIf every kid had a funny tooth to bite down on whenever the world disappointed\nhim, prussic acid could solve our population problems in one generation.\n\t\t-- G.C. Edmonson\'s Albert, \"The Man Who Corrupted Earth\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10329,27,'\n... If forced to travel on an airplane, try and get in the cabin with\nthe Captain, so you can keep an eye on him and nudge him if he falls\nasleep or point out any mountains looming up ahead ...\n\t\t-- Mike Harding, \"The Armchair Anarchist\'s Almanac\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10330,27,'\nIf Ricky Schroder and Gary Coleman had a fight on television with\npool cues, who would win?\n\t(1) Ricky Schroder\n\t(2) Gary Coleman\n\t(3) The television viewing public\n\t\t-- David Letterman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10331,27,'\nIf you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn\'t open, and your friends are\nall watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were\nswimming.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10332,27,'\nIf you guys have a beef with her, that\'s her problem.  Don\'t lay it on\nme.  The old lady has to take care of her own weight.\n\t\t-- Herbie Sperling, convicted heroin dealer, on being\n\t\tarrested for narcotics possession at his mother\'s house.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10333,27,'\nIf you laid all the Elvis impersonators in the world, end to end...\nyou\'d wanna run and get a steam roller, real fast.\n\t\t-- David Letterman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10334,27,'\nIf you look rather casual with the knife when you flick it open, people\ndon\'t like it.\n\t\t-- Gerry Youghkins\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10335,27,'\nIf you love something set it free.  If it doesn\'t come back to you,\nhunt it down and kill it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10336,27,'\n\"If you\'re a real good kid, I\'ll give you a piggy-back ride on a buzz-saw.\"\n\t\t-- W. C. Fields\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10337,27,'\nIf you\'re a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it\'s real\nembarrassing if someone tries to kill you.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10338,27,'\nIf your enemy is buried in quicksand up to his neck, pull him out.\nIf he is buried up to his eyes, step on his head.\n\t\t-- Niccoli Machiavelli, \"The Prince\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10339,27,'\nInspector:\t\"Mrs. Freem, was this your husband\'s first hunting accident?\"\nMrs. Freem:\t\"His first fatal one, yes.\"\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10340,27,'\nInter-Dwarf Memo\nTo: Dwarf-list\nFrom: Doc\nRe: S. White\n\n\tIf that bitch cleans one more thermometer with Ajax, I\'m gonna kill\nher.   I\'ll give her apples, nice big apples.  With surprises inside. Yeah,\nsurprises.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10341,27,'\nInter-Dwarf Memo\nTo: Dwarf-list\nFrom: Happy\nRe: S. White\n\n\tLet it be noted that if she whistles that goddamned song one\nmore time I\'m gonna rip her fuckin\' lips off.  Have a nice day.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10342,27,'\nIt is November first 1940; in the famous sound stage of THE WIZARD OF OZ on\nthe MGM lot, a little man is lying face-up on the yellow brick road.  His\nwide eyes stare upward into the blinding stage lights.  He is wearing a\nkind of comic soldier\'s uniform with a yellow coat and puffy sleeves and\nbig fez-like blue and yellow hat with a feather on top.  His yellow hair\nand beard are the phony straw color of Hollywood.  He could pass for some\nkind of cute in the typical tinsel-town way if it wasn\'t for the knife\nsticking out of his chest.  *Someone had murdered a Munchkin.*\n\t\t-- Stuart Kaminsky, \"Murder on the Yellow Brick Road\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10343,27,'\n\tIt seems that John gets this phone call:\n\t\"Hello,\" he answers.  The voice on the other end of the line\nis hard and cold.\n\t\"This is Susan,\" he hears.  \"We met at a party a few months ago.\n\t\"Of course, Susan!\", John replies.  \"How are you?\"\n\t\"Not very well.  Remember how after the party you took me home and\nwe parked?  And you told me that I was a \'good sport\'?  Well, I\'m pregnant\nand I\'m going to kill myself tonight.\"\n\tJohn is silent for a few moments, collecting his thoughts.  \"Well,\"\nhe finally replies, \"you sure *are* a good sport.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10344,27,'\nIt was a warm, sunny Sunday, and a man and his wife decided to take in the zoo.\nThey spent the day, and at closing time they walked past the gorilla cage, and\nthe man noticed the gorilla looking at his wife.  \"That gorilla is getting\nexcited just looking at your tits,\" he said.  \"Why don\'t you take your blouse\noff and we\'ll see what he does?\"\n\tAt first she refused.  But finally persuaded by her husband, she took\noff her blouse and bra.  The gorilla went nuts.  He started grunting and\njumping up and down.\n\t\"Hey,\" the husband said, \"let\'s really blow his mind.  Take off all\nyour clothes and we\'ll see what he does.\"\n\tAgain she said no and again he persuaded her.  This time the ape\nreally went bananas!  He climbed up and down the bars, did flips, ran around\nin circles and tossed his food all over the cage.  The husband went over to\nthe cage, opened the door and pushed his wife in.\n\t\"Now,\" said the husband, \"tell that motherfucker you have a headache!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10345,27,'\nIt was on the tip of my tongue to tell them about the deer, but I ended up\nnot doing it.  That was one thing I kept to myself.  I\'ve never spoken or\nwritten of it until just now, today.  And I have to tell you that it seems\na lesser thing written down, damn near inconsequential.  But for me it was\nthe best part of that trip, the cleanest part, and it was a moment I found\nmyself returning to, almost helplessly, when there was trouble in my life --\nmy first day in the bush in Vietnam, and this fellow walked into the clearing\nwhere we were with his hand over his nose and when he took his hand away there\nwas no nose there because it had been shot off; the time the doctor told us\nour youngest son might be hydrocephalic (he turned out just to have an\noversized head, thank God); the long crazy weeks before my mother died.  I\nwould find my thoughts turning back to that morning, the scuffed suede of\nher ears, the white flash of her tail.  But eight hundred million Red Chinese\ndon\'t give a shit, right?  The most important things are the hardest to say,\nbecause words diminish them.  It\'s hard to make strangers care about the\ngood things in your life.\n\t\t-- Stephen King, \"The Body\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10346,27,'\nIt was pity stayed his hand.  \"Pity I don\'t have any more bullets,\" thought\nFrito.\n\t\t-- Harvard Lampoon, \"Bored of the Rings\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10347,27,'\n\"It\'s all so painfully empty and lonesome...  I don\'t think I can stand\nany more of it... the whole dreadful way we are born, die, and are \nnever missed.  The fact there is *nobody*... nobody really...  We come\nout of a yawning tomb of flesh and sink back finally into another tomb.\nWhat is the point of it all?  Who thought up this sickening circle of\nflesh and blood?  We come into the world bleeding and cut and our bones\nhalf-crushed only to emerge and suffer more torment, multilation, and\nthen at the last lie down in some hole in the ground forever.  Who could\nhave thought it up, I wonder?\"\n\t\t-- James Purdy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10348,27,'\nIt\'s hard to outrun dead people because they don\'t have to breathe.\n\t\t-- Hokey, describing \"Night of the Living Dead\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10349,27,'\nJoan of Arc is alive and medium well.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10350,27,'\nJuly 4\n\nStatistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days\nof the year put together.  This proves, by the number left in stock, that one\nFourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.\n\t\t-- Mark Twain, \"Pudd\'nhead Wilson\'s Calendar\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10351,27,'\nKeep patting your enemy on the back until a small bullet hole appears\nbetween your fingers.\n\t\t-- Joe Bonanno\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10352,27,'\nKill \'em all, and let God sort \'em out.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10353,27,'\nKill a commie for Christ!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10354,27,'\nKill a commy for your mommy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10355,27,'\nKill for the love of killing!  Kill for the love of Kali!\n\t\t-- Hindu saying\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10356,27,'\nKill your parents.\n\t\t-- Jerry Rubin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10357,27,'\nKnights are hardly worth it.  I mean, all that shell and so little meat...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10358,27,'\nLegalize free-enterprise murder: why should governments have all the fun?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10359,27,'\nLong, long ago, in the Old West, a rancher rode into town to buy supplies.\nWhen he returned, he found that his whole family had been killed, his wife\nraped, his house burned, and all his cattle rustled.  When he told his\ndistant neighbors about the tragedy, a few of them reported that the only\nstranger they had seen in the area for weeks was a tall desperado wearing a\nblack hat and a red neckerchief.\n\tThe cowboy saddled his fastest horse and set out to find the villian.\nHe searched for months but couldn\'t catch up with the culprit; in town after\ndusty town he was told that a man fitting the description had been there but\nhad just departed; usually after some heinous crime.\n\tOne evening after a hard day\'s ride he came into a town, tied his\nhorse, and entered the saloon.  At a table in the corner sat an ugly man,\nwith a black hat and a red neckerchief!  Slowly the cowboy stalked up to\nthis man, his hands resting upon his guns.\n\t\"Are you the man who killed my family, raped my wife, burned my\nhouse and rustled my cattle?\"\n\t\"Probably; after so many, how can I be sure?\" snarled the bandit.\n\t\"You better cut that shit out!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10360,27,'\nMadam, there\'s no such thing as a tough child -- if you parboil them\nfirst for seven hours, they always come out tender.\n\t\t-- W. C. Fields\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10361,27,'\nMany lower life forms demonstrate qualities that, at first, just don\'t\nseem survival oriented.  For instance, the female praying mantis, after mating\nwith, well, her mate, will devour him.  For the male praying mantis, however,\nit\'s a catch-22.  If he mates, he gets screwed out of an opportunity to mate\nagain.  If he doesn\'t mate, he doesn\'t reproduce, ending his family tree.  This\nsuicidal behavior is commonly called the Preying Mantis Syndrome -- and many\nlife forms are periodically subject to its wrath.  How did the preying mantis\nbecome stuck in such a awful, vicious cycle?  This is probably what happened:\n\tThe male mantis arrives at the residence of the female mantis.  After\nsome courtship exercises (dinner, a movie, inserting the diaphram) they mate.\nThe female mantis, her lust for... lust being satisfied, relaxes while the\nmale raids the refrigerator and returns home.  This behavior continues until\nthe male and female (mantissas?) establish a permanent relationship.  Then the\nmale establishes a new pattern of behavior:  Football on Mondays, baseball on\nTuesdays, happy hour on Wednesdays, uh, well, uh, working-late-at-the-office\non Thursdays, etc. etc.  The female tolerates this for awhile, then files for\na divorce.  After a long court battle, she concludes one thing:  It simplifies\nmatters tremendously to just eat him when you\'re done with him.\n\tWell, through the centuries of evolution, the Preying Mantis Syndrome\nhas been carried up to the highest life forms, as well as to humans.  That is\nwhy, one week out of every month, the female of the species will feel compelled\nto bite the head off of the male.  The Syndrome is inescapable, but when it\noccurs in the female of our species, it\'s best to just avoid them for a while.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10362,27,'\n\tMother seemed pleased by my draft notice.  \"Just think of all the\npeople in England, they\'ve chosen you, it\'s a great honour, son.\"\n\tLaughingly I felled her with a right cross.\n\t\t-- Spike Milligan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10363,27,'\n\tMoving along a dimly light street, a man I know was suddenly \napproached by a stranger who had slipped from the shadows nearby.\n\t\"Please, sir,\" pleaded the stranger, \"would you be so kind as\nto help a poor unfortunate fellow who is hungry and can\'t find work?  \nAll I have in the world is this gun.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10364,27,'\nMy best argument against discrimination is quite simple:\n\nDoes it really matter if the ABC people are inferior to the DEF people if\nthey can tell one end of a gun from the other?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10365,27,'\nMy girlfriend and I sure had a good time at the beach last summer.  First\nshe\'d bury me in the sand, then I\'d bury her.  This summer I\'m going to go\nback and dig her up.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10366,27,'\n\t\"My God!  Are we sure he was a liberal?\"\n\t\"Pretty sure.  They pulled him from a Volvo.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10367,27,'\nNegotiate, my ass!  Let\'s kill something!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10368,27,'\nNever count your chickens before they rip your lips off.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10369,27,'\nNever hit a man with glasses; hit him with a baseball bat.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10370,27,'\nNever say \"Oops\" in an operating room.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10371,27,'\nNever settle with words what you can accomplish with a flame thrower.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10372,27,'\nNew members urgently required for SUICIDE CLUB, Watford area.\n\t\t-- Monty Python\'s Big Red Book\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10373,27,'\nNEWSFLASH!!\n\tRodney Fenster looked up the shaft of elevator number four at\n1700 N. 17th St. this morning to see if the elevator was on its way down.\nIt was.  Age 31.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10374,27,'\nNo doubt Jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds that it was\nhuman nature.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10375,27,'\nNote to myself: use real bullets next time.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10376,27,'\n... Now you\'re ready for the actual shopping.  Your goal should be to get it\nover with as quickly as possible, because the longer you stay in the mall,\nthe longer your children will have to listen to holiday songs on the mall\npublic-address system, and many of these songs can damage children\nemotionally.  For example: \"Frosty the Snowman\" is about a snowman who\nbefriends some children, plays with them until they learn to love him, then\nmelts.  And \"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer\" is about a young reindeer who,\nbecause of a physical deformity, is treated as an outcast by the other\nreindeer.  Then along comes good, old Santa.  Does he ignore the deformity?\nDoes he look past Rudolph\'s nose and respect Rudolph for the sensitive\nreindeer he is underneath?  No.  Santa asks Rudolph to guide his sleigh, as\nif Rudolph were nothing more than some kind of headlight with legs and a\ntail.  So unless you want your children exposed to this kind of\ninsensitivity, you should shop quickly.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Christmas Shopping: A Survivor\'s Guide\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10377,27,'\nNuke the gay, unborn, baby whales for Jesus.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10378,27,'\nNuke the unborn gay female whales for Jesus.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10379,27,'\nNuke them till they glow, then shoot them in the dark.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10380,27,'\nOn his way back from work, a driver came upon a horrible wreck in which one\ncar looked exactly like his neighbor\'s.  Stopping hurriedly on the side of\nthe road, he ran toward the smoldering debris.\n\t\"Listen, mister,\" a policeman said, holding him back, \"I can\'t let\nyou come any closer.\"\n\t\"But that may be my friend, Henry, in there,\" the anguished man\nexplained.\n\t\"OK, but it\'s pretty grisly,\" the cop cautioned.  \"There was a\ndecapitation.\"\n\tThe policeman reached into the back seat of the demolished car and\npulled forth the head, holding it at arm\'s length.  \"Is this your friend?\"\n\t\"That\'s not him -- thank heavens,\" the man said.  \"Henry\'s much\ntaller.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10381,27,'\n\tOn the occasion of Nero\'s 25th birthday, he arrived at the Colosseum \nto find that the Praetorian Guard had prepared a treat for him in the arena.  \nThere stood 25 naked virgins, like candles on a cake, tied to poles, burning \nalive.  \"Wonderful!\" exclaimed the deranged emperor, \"but one of them isn\'t \ndead yet.  I can see her lips moving.  Go quickly and find out what she is \nsaying.\"\n\tThe centurion saluted, and hurried out to the virgin, getting as near\nthe flames as he dared, and listened intently.  Then he turned and ran back\nto the imperial box.  \"She is not talking,\" he reported to Nero, \"she is\nsinging.\"\n\t\"Singing?\" said the astounded emperor.  \"Singing what?\"\n\t\"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10382,27,'\n\tOnce again we find ourselves enmeshed in The Holiday Season, that very\nspecial time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old\ntraditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall.  We\ntraditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we\nsee a shopper emerge from the mall.  Then we follow her, in very much the same\nspirit as the Three Wise Men, who, 2,000 years ago, followed a star, week after\nweek, until it led them to a parking space.\n\tWe try to keep our bumper about 4 inches from the shopper\'s calves, to\nlet the other circling cars know that she belongs to us.  Sometimes, two cars\nwill get into a fight over whom the shopper belongs to, similar to the way\ngreat white sharks will fight over who gets to eat a snorkeler.  So, we follow\nour shopper closely, hunched over the steering wheel, whistling \"It\'s Beginning\nto Look a Lot Like Christmas\" through our teeth, until we arrive at her car,\nwhich is usually parked several time zones away from the mall.  Sometimes our\nshopper tries to indicate she was merely planning to drop off some packages and\ngo back to shopping.  But, when she hears our engine rev in a festive fashion\nand sees the holiday gleam in our eyes, she realizes she would never make it.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Holiday Joy -- Or, the Great Parking Lot\n\t\t   Skirmish\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10383,27,'\n\tOnce upon a time, there was a fisherman who lived by a great river.\nOne day, after a hard day\'s fishing, he hooked what seemed to him to be the\nbiggest, strongest fish he had ever caught.  He fought with it for hours,\nuntil, finally, he managed to bring it to the surface.  Looking of the edge\nof the boat, he saw the head of this huge fish breaking the surface.  Smiling\nwith pride, he reached over the edge to pull the fish up.  Unfortunately, he\naccidently caught his watch on the edge, and, before he knew it, there was a\nsnap, and his watch tumbled into the water next to the fish with a loud\n\"sploosh!\"  Distracted by this shiny object, the fish made a sudden lunge,\nsimultaneously snapping the line, and swallowing the watch.  Sadly, the\nfisherman stared into the water, and then began the slow trip back home.\n\tMany years later, the fisherman, now an old man, was working in a\nboring assembly-line job in a large city.  He worked in a fish-processing\nplant.  It was his job, as each fish passed under his hands, to chop off their\nheads, readying them for the next phase in processing.  This monotonous task\nwent on for years, the dull *thud* of the cleaver chopping of each head being\nhis entire world, day after day, week after weary week.  Well, one day, as he\nwas chopping fish, he happened to notice that the fish coming towards him on\nthe line looked very familiar.  Yes, yes, it looked... could it be the fish\nhe had lost on that day so many years ago?  He trembled with anticipation as\nhis cleaver came down.  IT STRUCK SOMETHING HARD!  IT WAS HIS THUMB!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10384,27,'\n\tOnce upon a time, there were five blind men who had the opportunity\nto experience an elephant for the first time.  One approached the elephant,\nand, upon encountering one of its sturdy legs, stated, \"Ah, an elephant is\nlike a tree.\"  The second, after exploring the trunk, said, \"No, an elephant\nis like a strong hose.\"  The third, grasping the tail, said \"Fool!  An elephant\nis like a rope!\"  The fourth, holding an ear, stated, \"No, more like a fan.\"\nAnd the fifth, leaning against the animal\'s side, said, \"An elephant is like\na wall.\"  The five then began to argue loudly about who had the more accurate\nperception of the elephant.\n\tThe elephant, tiring of all this abuse, suddenly reared up and\nattacked the men.  He continued to trample them until they were nothing but\nbloody lumps of flesh.  Then, strolling away, the elephant remarked, \"It just\ngoes to show that you can\'t depend on first impressions.  When I first saw\nthem I didn\'t think they they\'d be any fun at all.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10385,27,'\nOne must have a heart of stone to read the death of Little Nell by Dickens\nwithout laughing.\n\t\t-- Oscar Wilde\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10386,27,'\nONE THING KIDS LIKE is to be tricked.  For instance, I was going to take\nmy little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to a burned-out\nwarehouse.  \"Oh, oh,\" I said.  \"Disneyland burned down.\"  He cried and\ncried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke.\n\nI started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10387,27,'\nOnly way to open lips of pigeon: sledgehammer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10388,27,'\nOrcs really aren\'t so bad (if you use lots of catsup).\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10389,27,'\nOther than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10390,27,'\n\t\"Perhaps he is not honest,\" Mr. Frostee said inside Cobb\'s head,\nsounding a bit worried.\n\t\"Of course he isn\'t,\" Cobb answered. \"What we have to look out for\nis him calling the cops anyway, or trying to blackmail us for more money.\"\n\t\"I think you should kill him and eat his brain,\" Mr. Frostee\nsaid quickly.\n\t\"That\'s not the answer to *every* problem in interpersonal relations,\"\nCobb said, hopping out.\n\t\t-- Rudy Rucker, \"Software\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10391,27,'\nPipo was born with few complications, but then the doctor accidently dropped\nthe infant on her head provoking her drunken father to drag the physician\noutside where he would beat him to death with a live ocelot.\n\t\t-- Love and Rockets\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10392,27,'\nPlease do not look directly into laser with remaining eye.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10393,27,'\nPPRB -- Pillage, plunder, rape and burn.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10394,27,'\nPsychics will soon lead dogs to your body.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10395,27,'\nReaders Ask:\n\tIs it possible to kill a vampire with a gun?\n\nVampires are a source of great irritation to the average homeowner and it is\nusually to one\'s advantage to remove these pests as rapidly as possible.  If\na professional exterminater specializing in the undead is unavailable, it is\npossible to handle the situation with common household items.  However, much\nof the common folklore of vanquishing the undead needs clarifying.  First,\ndriving a sharpened Louisville Slugger through a vampire\'s heart will NOT kill\nit.  Since it\'s not quite alive, why would the heart be any different than\npuncturing it in the, for example, left buttock?  Stake driving should be\navoided at any cost since its effect will be to terribly annoy the vampire,\nand the last thing you want on your hands is an irate Lord of Darkness.\nHandguns are also a definite no-no.  Common sense indicates that it requires\nmore to defeat an incarnation of evil than hurling lumps of lead or silver\nthrough its body.  One time-honored method is to expose the vampire to the\nsun, sever its head (any power saw should be sufficient), fill its mouth with\nholy wafers (vanilla wafers over which the Lord\'s prayer has been read will\ndo in a pinch), immerse the head in an urn filled with holy water, place the\nurn in consecrated lands and bury the rest of the body underneath a crossroad\n(i.e. the intersection of Broad & Chestnut).  Sure, it\'s a lot of work.  But\nyou\'ll never have to worry about those damn bats pestering the neighbors again.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10396,27,'\nRemember kids, if there\'s a loaded gun in the room, be sure\nthat you\'re the one holding it.\n\t\t-- Mr. Greenfatigues\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10397,27,'\n\t\tSafety Tips for the Post-Nuclear Existence\n\t\t  Tip #1: How to tell when you are dead.\n\n\t(1) Little things start bothering you: little things like worms,\n\t    bugs, ants.\n\t(2) Something is missing in your personal relationships.\n\t(3) Your dog becomes overly affectionate.\n\t(4) You have a hard time getting a waiter.\n\t(5) Exotic birds flock around you.\n\t(6) People ignore you at parties.\n\t(7) You have a hard time getting up in the morning.\n\t(8) You no longer get off on cocaine.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10398,27,'\n\t\tSafety Tips for the Post-Nuclear Existence\n\n\t(1)  Never use an elevator in a building that has been hit by a nuclear\n\t     bomb; use the stairs.\n\t(2)  When you\'re flying through the air, remember to roll when you hit\n\t     the ground.\n\t(3)  If you\'re on fire, avoid gasoline and other flammable materials.\n\t(4)  Don\'t attempt communication with dead people; it will only lead to\n\t     psychological problems.\n\t(5)  Food will be scarce; you will have to scavenge.  Learn to\n\t     recognize foods that will be available after the bomb: mashed\n\t     potatoes, shredded wheat, tossed salad, ground beef, etc.\n\t(6)  Put your hand over your mouth when you sneeze; internal organs\n\t     will be scarce in the post-nuclear age.\n\t(7)  Try to be neat; fall only in designated piles.\n\t(8)  Drive carefully in \"Heavy Fallout\" areas; people could be\n\t     staggering illegally.\n\t(9)  Nutritionally, hundred dollar bills are equal to ones, but more\n\t     sanitary due to limited circulation.\n\t(10) Accumulate mannequins now; spare parts will be in short supply on\n\t     D-Day.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10399,27,'\n\tSam went to his psychiatrist complaining of a hatred for elephants.\n\"I can\'t stand elephants,\" he explained.  \"I lie awake nights despising\nthem.  The thought of an elephant fills me with loathing.\"\n\t\"Sam,\" said the psychiatrist, \"there\'s only one thing for you to do.  \nGo to Africa, organize a safari, find an elephant in the jungle and shoot it.\nThat way you\'ll get it out of your system.\"\n\tSam immediately made arrangements for a safari hunt in Africa,\ninviting his best friend to join him.   They arrived in Nairobi and lost no\ntime getting out on the jungle trails.  After they had been hunting for\nseveral days, Sam\'s best friend grabbed him by the arm one morning and\nyelled at him:\n\t\"Sam, Sam, Sam!  Over there behind that tree there\'s and elephant!\nSam -- Get your gun -- no, no, not THAT gun -- the rifle with the longer \nbarrel!  Now aim it!  QUICK!  SAM!  QUICK!  No!  Not that way -- this way!\nBe sure you don\'t jerk the trigger!  Wait SAM!  Don\'t let him see you!  Aim\nat his head!\"\n\tSam whirled around, took aim, and killed his friend.  He was put in\nprison and his psychiatrist flew to Africa to visit him.  \"I sent you over\nhere to kill and elephant and instead you shoot your best friend,\" the \npsychiatrist said.  \"Why?\"\n\t\"Well,\" Sam replied, \"there\'s only one thing in the world that I\nhate more than elephants and that is a loudmouth know-it-all!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10400,27,'\nSave the whales.  Club a seal instead.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10401,27,'\nScene:\n\tA small boy stands agasp on the stairway overlooking the living\n\troom.  A rather largish man in a big red suit with white fur and red\n\tand white belled cap hunches over the fireplace, obviously interrupted\n\tin filling stockings with packages taken from a huge bag slung over his\n\tshoulder.  His eyebrows are raised, matter-of-factly, as he spies the\n\tboy intently watching him.\n\nCaption:\n\t\"I\'m sorry you\'ve seen me, Billy.  Now I\'ll have to kill you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10402,27,'\nSeeing a commotion in Harvard Square, a man strolled over and asked what\nwas going on.  One of the onlookers explained to him that there was a Mooney\nwho had immersed himself in gasoline and was threatening to set fire to\nhimself to demonstrate his committment to the Rev. Moon.  The man gasped and\nasked what was being done to defuse the obviously dangerous situation.\n\t\"Well\", replied the onlooker, \"we\'re taking up a collection -- so\nfar I\'ve got two Bics, four Zippos and eighteen books of matches.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10403,27,'\nSeems like this guy wanders into a rural outfitting store in Alaska,\nand starts talking to a rather grizzled old man sitting by the cash\nregister.\n\t\"Hear ya got a lotta\' bears \'round here?\"\n\t\"Yeah, you could say that,\" answers the old man.\n\t\"GRIZZLIES?!?!\"\n\t\"A few.\"\n\t\"Got any bear bells?\"\n\t\"What\'s that?\"\n\t\"You know, them little dingle-bells ya put on yer backpack so\nbears know yer there so\'s they can run away ...  I\'ll take one fer black\nbears, and one fer them grizzlies.  Say, how do you know yer in grizzly\ncountry, anyhow?\"\n\t\"Look fer scatt.  Grizzly scatt\'s different from black bear scatt.\"\n\t\"Well now, what\'s IN grizzly scatt that\'s different?\"\n\t\"Bear bells.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10404,27,'\nSilly Sally was baby sitting.  But Silly Sally was getting bored.  Thinking\na walk would help, she put the baby in his carriage.  Silly Sally pushed the\ncarriage and pushed the carriage up this hill and down that one.  She pushed\nthe carriage up the highest hill in town, and ALL OF A SUDDEN!  It slipped out\nof her hands (OH! NO!) and it was headed at high speed for the busiest\nintersection in town.   BUT!\n\nSilly Sally just laughed and la.....ug.......h....e....d...........\nBECAUSE!  SHE KNEW THERE WAS A STOP SIGN AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10405,27,'\nSilly Sally was playing in the garage.  And she was being disobedient.\nShe was playing with matches...  AND...  She burned down the garage.\n(OHHHHHH)  Silly Sally\'s mother said, \"Silly Sally!  You have been naughty!\nAnd when your father gets home, you are going to get a good licking!\"  BUT!\n\nSilly Sally just laughed and la.....ug.......h....e....d...........\nBECAUSE!  SHE KNEW HER FATHER WAS IN THE GARAGE WHEN SHE BURNED IT DOWN!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10406,27,'\n... So the documentary-makers stick with sharks.  Generally, their procedure\nis to scatter bleeding fish pieces around their boat, so as to infest the\nwaters.  I would estimate that the primary food source of sharks today is\nbleeding fish pieces scattered by people making documentaries.  Once the\nsharks arrive, they are generally fairly listless.  The general shark\nattitude seems to be: \"Oh God, another documentary.\" So the divers have to\nsomehow goad them into attacking, under the guise of Scientific Research.\n\"We know very little about the effect of electricity on sharks,\" the\nnarrator will say, in a deeply scientific voice.  \"That is why Todd is going\nto jab this Great White in the testicles with a cattle prod.\" The divers\nkeep this kind of thing up until the shark finally gets irritated and snaps\nat them, and then they act as though this was a totally unexpected and very\ndangerous development, although clearly it is what they wanted all along.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"The Wonders of Sharks on TV\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10407,27,'\nSome people call them \"cars\" or \"trucks;\" I call them \"dimensional\ntransmogrifiers\" because they change three-dimensional cats into\ntwo-dimensional ones.\n\t\t-- F. Frederick Skitty\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10408,27,'\nSometimes it happens.  People just explode.  Natural causes.\n\t\t-- Repo Man\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10409,27,'\nSupport mental health or I\'LL KILL YOU!!!!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10410,27,'\nSupport the American Kidney Foundation.  Don\'t wear your motorcycle helmet.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10411,27,'\nThanksgiving Day.\n\nLet all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys.  In the\nisland of Fiji they do not use turkeys; they use plumbers.  It does not become\nyou and me to sneer at Fiji.\n\t\t-- Mark Twain, \"Pudd\'nhead Wilson\'s Calendar\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10412,27,'\n-- THE BATES MOTEL --\n\t\t\t\t\t... convenient\n\t\t\t\t\t...      clean\n\t\t\t\t\t...       cozy\n\n\tNorman, knock loudly,\n\t     I\'m in the shower.\n\n\t\tM.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10413,27,'\nThe first Great Steward, Parrafin the Climber, was employed in King\nChloroplast\'s kitchen as second scullery boy when the old King met a tragic\ndeath.  He apparently fell backward by accident on a dozen salad forks.\nSimultaneously the true heir, his son Carotene, mysteriously fled the city,\ncomplaining of some sort of plot and a lot of threatening notes left on his\nbreakfast tray.  At the time, this looked suspicious what with his father\'s\ndeath, and Carotene was suspected of foul play.  Then the rest of the King\'s\nrelatives began to drop dead one after the other in an odd fashion.  Some\nwere found strangled with dishrags and some succumbed to food poisoning.  A\nfew were found drowned in the soup vats, and one was attacked by assailants\nunknown and beaten to death with a pot roast.  At least three appear to have\nthrown themselves backward on salad forks, perhaps in a noble gesture of\ngrief over the King\'s untimely end.  Finally there was no one left in Minas\nTroney who was either eligible or willing to wear the accursed crown, and\nthe rule of Twodor was up for grabs.  The scullery slave Parrafin bravely\naccepted the Stewardship of Twodor until that day when a lineal descendant\nof Carotene\'s returns to reclaim his rightful throne, conquer Twodor\'s\nenemies, and revamp the postal system.\n\t\t-- Bored of the Rings, \"Harvard Lampoon\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10414,27,'\nThe first guy that rats gets a belly-full of slugs in the head.  Understand?\n\t\t-- Joey Glimco, trade unionist\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10415,27,'\n\tThe foreman of a lumber camp put a new workman on the circular saw.\nAs he turned away, he heard the man say, \"Ouch!\".\n\t\"What happened?\"\n\t\"Dunno,\" replied the man.  \"I just stuck out my hand like this, and\n-- well, I\'ll be damned.  There goes another one!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10416,27,'\nThe Fortune Travel Agency offers a special... Vacation in Hell!\n\t-- Grace Kelly drives you to the airport.\n\t-- Thurman Munson flies you to a remote tropical island.\n\t-- Ted Kennedy\'s your chauffeur on the island.\n\t-- You go yachting with Natalie Wood.\n\t-- You have drinks with William Holden.\n\t-- And Roman Polanski stays at home and watches your kids.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10417,27,'\nThe greatest joy a man can know is to conquer his enemies and drive them\nbefore him.  To ride their horses and take away their possessions.  To see\nthe faces of those who were dear to them bedewed with tears, and to clasp\ntheir wives and daughters to his arms.\n\t\t-- Genghis Khan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10418,27,'\n\"The hell with the prime directive!  Let\'s kill something!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10419,27,'\nThe honeymooning couple agreed it was a fine day for horseback riding.\nAfter a mile or so, the bride\'s mount cantered under a low tree and a\nbranch scraped her forehead lightly.  The groom dismounted, glared at his\nwife\'s horse, and said, \"That\'s number one.\"\n\tThe ride then proceeded.  After another mile or so, the bride\'s\nhorse stumbled over a pebble and the lady suffered a slight jostling.\nAgain, her man leapt from his saddle and strode over to the nervous animal.\n\"That\'s two,\" he said.\n\tFive miles later, the bride\'s horse became frightened when a rabbit\ncrossed its path, reared up and threw the girl.  Immediately, the groom was\noff his horse.  \"That\'s three!\", he shouted, and, pulling out a pistol, he\nshot the horse between the eyes.\n\t\"You brute!\" shrieked his bride.  \"Now I see the kind of man I\nmarried!  You\'re a sadist, that\'s what!\"\n\tThe groom turned to her coolly.  \"That\'s one,\" he said.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10420,27,'\nThe human race has been fascinated by sharks for as long as I can remember.\nJust like the bluebird feeding its young, or the spider struggling to weave\nits perfect web, or the buttercup blooming in spring, the shark reveals to\nus yet another of the infinite and wonderful facets of nature, namely the\nfacet that it can bite your head off.  This causes us humans to feel a\ncertain degree of awe.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"The Wonders of Sharks on TV\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10421,27,'\nThe Least Successful Animal Rescue\n\tThe firemen\'s strike of 1978 made possible one of the great animal\nrescue attempts of all time.  Valiantly, the British Army had taken over\nemergency firefighting and on 14 January they were called out by an elderly\nlady in South London to retrieve her cat which had become trapped up a\ntree.  They arrived with impressive haste and soon discharged their duty.\nSo grateful was the lady that she invited them all in for tea.  Driving off\nlater, with fond farewells completed, they ran over the cat and killed it.\n\t\t-- Stephen Pile, \"The Book of Heroic Failures\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10422,27,'\nThe man standing at the bar (in court, unfortunately) was well-dressed,\nalert and obviously intelligent.  The judge asked him how he pleaded to\nthe charge of rape and, much to the magistrate\'s surprise, he replied,\n\"Not guilty by reason of insanity, your Honor.\"\n\t\"Insanity?\" exclaimed the judge.\n\t\"Yes, sir,\" said the defendant.  \"I\'m just crazy about it.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10423,27,'\nThe most winning woman I ever knew was hanged for poisoning three little\nchildren for their insurance money.\n\t\t-- Sherlock Holmes\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10424,27,'\nThe people of Halifax invented the trampoline.  During the Victorian\nperiod the tripe-dressers of Halifax stretched tripe across a large wooden\nframe and jumped up and down on it to `tender and dress\' it.  The tripoline,\nas they called it, degenerated into becoming the apparatus for a spectator\nsport.\n\nThe people of Halifax also invented the harmonium, a device for\ncastrating pigs during Sunday service.\n\t\t-- Mike Harding, \"The Armchair Anarchist\'s Almanac\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10425,27,'\nThe Psblurtex is an 18-inch long anaconda that hides in the gentlemen\'s\noutfitting departments of Amazonian stores and is often bought by\nmistake since its colors are those of the London Reform Club.  Once\ntied around its victim\'s neck, it strangles him gently and then claims\nthe insurance before running off to Germany where it lives in hiding.\n\t\t-- Mike Harding, \"The Armchair Anarchist\'s Almanac\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10426,27,'\nThe Schwine-Kitzenger Institute study of 47 men over the age of 100\nshowed that all had these things in common:\n\n\t(1) They all had moderate appetites.\n\t(2) They all came from middle class homes\n\t(3) All but two of them were dead.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10427,27,'\n\t\tThe Snack\n\n\"Oh my God,\" screamed Mommy, \"You went and ate the Baby.\"\n\n\"What baby?\" asked Daddy.  \"You know that\'s just the last of the leftover \n\tdonkey.\"\n\n\"Donkey, my ass!\" said Mommy with some sentience.  \"Do you think I don\'t\n\trecognize my own baby?  Why I can still see his little privates\n\tcaught in the gap between your front teeth.  How many times have I\n\ttold you to take only what\'s on the *top* two shelves of the freezer?\"\n\n\"But there wasn\'t a thing to eat,\" cried Daddy.\n\t\"And am I not the master of my own?\"\n\n\"Nothing to eat?\n\tWhat about the elephant testicles in aspic that I put up for you\n\tjust last week in the ball jar?  Our very first baby, too,\" wailed\n\tMommy, \"that I was saving for Christmas dinner.\"\n\n\"Testicles, testicles,\" said Daddy.  \"A man gets tired of testicles.\"\n\t\t-- L.L. Zeiger\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10428,27,'\nThe sooner all the animals are dead, the sooner we\'ll find their money.\n\t\t-- Ed Bluestone, The National Lampoon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10429,27,'\nThe Truth Shall Rape You Over.\n\t\t-- Caltech\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10430,27,'\nThe Worst Homing Pigeon\n\tThis historic bird was released in Pembrokeshire in June 1953 and was\nexpected to reach its base that evening.  It was returned by post, dead,\nin a cardboard box eleven years later from Brazil.\n\t\t-- Stephen Pile, \"The Book of Heroic Failures\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10431,27,'\n\tThen there\'s the atmosphere -- half the time you can eat the air,\nit\'s got so much stuff floating around in it.  It takes the edge out of\nthe colors.  Down here even the traffic lights are pastel.  And people!\nWith a lot of these folks you\'d have to check their green cards just to\nmake sure that they are Earthlings.  Then there\'s the police.  In Portland,\nwhen some guy goes bananas, the cops rope off a sixteen block area around\nhim and call a shrink from the medical school who stands atop a patrol car\nwith a megaphone and shouts, \"OK! THIS!  ALL!  STARTED!  WHEN!  YOU!  WERE!\nTHREE! YEARS!  OLD!  ON!  ACCOUNT! OF!  YOUR MOTHER!  RIGHT?  SO!  LET\'S!\nTALK! ABOUT!  IT!\"  Down here they don\'t waste that kind of time.  The LAPD\nhas SWAT teams composed of guys who make Darth Vader look like Mr. Peepers.\nBefore they go to bust a bookie joint they mortar it first.\n\t\t-- M. Christensen, \"A Portland Innocent in LA\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10432,27,'\nThere appears before you a threatening figure clad all over in heavy black\narmor.  His legs seem like the massive trunk of the oak tree.  His broad\nshoulders and helmeted head loom high over your own puny frame and you\nrealize that his powerful arms could easily crush the very life from your\nbody.  There hangs from his belt a veritable arsenal of deadly weapons:\nsword, mace, ball and chain, dagger, lance, and trident.\nHe speaks with a commanding voice:\n\n\t\t\"YOU SHALL NOT PASS\"\n\nAs he grabs you by the neck all grows dim about you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10433,27,'\nThere are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable,\nand praiseworthy ...\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10434,27,'\nThere are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a\nsuitable application of high explosives.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10435,27,'\nThere is this trouble about special providences--namely, there is so often a\ndoubt as to which party was intended to be the beneficiary.  In the case of the\nchildren, the bears and the prophet, the bears got more real satisfaction out\nof the episode than the prophet did, because they got the children.\n\t\t-- Mark Twain, \"Pudd\'nhead Wilson\'s Calendar\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10436,27,'\nThere once was a king who ruled his country long, wisely, and well.  The\nking had a son whom he hoped would someday rule the land.  He also wished\nin his heart that the son ould be wise and compassionate.  One day he said\nto the prince:\n\t\"If you promised that you would give a certain woman anything, even\nhalf of your kingdom, and then she demanded the life of your best friend,\nwhat would your decision be, my son?\"\n\tThe young prince thought for a moment and then said, \"I would tell\nher that she was my best friend, and cut her head off.\"\n\tThe king knew that his son would be a great king.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10437,27,'\n\tThere was a knock on the door.  Mrs. Miffin opened it.  \"Are\nyou the Widow Miffin?\" a small boy asked.\n\t\"I\'m Mrs. Miffin,\" she replied, \"but I\'m not a widow.\"\n\t\"Oh, no?\" replied the little boy.  \"Wait \'til you see what\nthey\'re carrying upstairs!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10438,27,'\nThere was a man who enjoyed playing golf, and could occasionallly put up\nwith taking in a round with his wife.  One time (with his wife along) he\nwas having an extremely bad round.  On the 12th hole, he sliced a drive\nover by a grounds-keepers\' shack.  Although he did not have a clear shot\nto the green, his wife noticed that there were two doors on the shack,\nand there was a possibility that, if both doors were opened, he might be\nable to hit through.  Without hesitation, he instructed his wife to go\naround to the other side and open the far door.  Sure enough, this gave\nhim a clear path to the green.  He stepped up to his ball and prepared\nto hit.  His wife had been standing by the far door waiting for him to\nhit through.  After a moment, she became curious and stuck her head in\nthe doorway, to see what he was doing.  At that exact moment, the husband\ncracked a three-wood that hit his wife square on the forehead, killing\nher instantly.  A few weeks later, the man was playing a round at the same\ncourse, this time with a friend of his.  Once again on the 12th hole, he\nsliced his drive to the shack.  His friend suggested that he might be able\nto hit through, if he was to open both doors.\n\t\"Nah\", replied the man, \"Last time I did that I took a 7\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10439,27,'\nThey couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist...\n\t\t-- Civil War General John Sedgwick, his last words\n\t\t   Battle of Spotsylvania Court House, 1864\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10440,27,'\n\"They spend years searching for their natural parents, convinced their\nparents will be happy to see them.  I mean, really, can you imagine someone \nbeing happy to see an orphan?  Nobody wants them... that\'s why they\'re orphans!\"\n\tThe speaker is Anne Baker, founder and guiding force behind\nOrphan-Off, an organization dedicated to keeping orphans confused about the \nwhereabouts of their natural parents.  She is a woman with a mission:\n\t\"Basically, what we do is band together to exchange information\nabout which orphans are looking for which parents in what part of the\ncountry.  We\'re completely computerized.\n\t\"The idea is to throw the orphans as many red herrings and false\nleads as possible.  We\'ll tell some twenty-three-year-old loser that his\nreal parents can be found at a certain address on the other side of the\ncountry.  Well, by the time the kid shows up, the family is prepared.  They\nlook over the kid\'s photos and information and they say, \'Oh, the Emersons...\nyeah, they used to live here... I think they moved out about five years ago.\nI think they went to Iowa, or maybe Idaho.\'\n\t\"Bam, the door shuts in the kid\'s face and he\'s back to zero again.  \nHe\'s got nothing to go on but the orphan\'s pathetic determination to continue.\n\t\"It\'s really amazing how much these kids will put up with.  Last year\nwe even sent one kid all the way to Australia.  I mean, really.  Besides, if\nyour natural parents were Australian, would you want to meet them?\"\n\t\t-- \"National Lampoon\", September, 1984\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10441,27,'\nThey Tore Out My Heart and Stomped That Sucker Flat\n\t\t-- Book title by Lewis Grizzard\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10442,27,'\nThey\'re an insidious bunch, your killer pianos.  Had one get loose on me\nback in \'62.  It slipped out of the cables while we were lowering it out\nof its twelfth story apartment, and crushed six innocents in an insane bid\nfor freedom.\n\t\t-- Stig\'s Inferno\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10443,27,'\n\tThis guy is walking down the beach one fine sunny day, feeling\ngood, when suddenly he sees this woman with no arms or legs in a wheelchair,\nsobbing  like crazy.  He decides to be gallant, \"What\'s wrong, miss?\"\n\t\"I...<sob, sniffle>...I\'m 21 and I <choke> I\'ve never been kissed...\n<sniffle>\"\n\tSo this guy, he decides, what the hell, let\'s cheer up the poor lady.\nHe leans over and gives her a long wonderful kiss.  This does wonders, and\nthe woman\'s face lights up and she grins from ear to ear, and the guy wanders\naway feeling wonderful.\n\tWell, next week, the same guy is walking along the same beach, and\nsees the same girl who is once again sobbing her eyes out.  Gallant to the\nend, our hero says, \"What\'s wrong, miss, can I help?\"\n\t\"I...I\'m <sob, sniffle, sniffle> 21 and I\'ve never been fucked...\"\n\tThe guy picks her up out of her chair, cuddles her close, and brings\nher over to the shore, and throws her into the water.  \"Now you\'re fucked!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10444,27,'\n... this is an awesome sight.  The entire rebel resistance buried under six\nmillion hardbound copies of \"The Naked Lunch.\"\n\t\t-- The Firesign Theater\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10445,27,'\nThis is supposed to be a \'appy occasion.  Let\'s not BICKER and ARGUE over\n\'oo killed \'oo!\n\t\t-- Monty Python and the Holy Grail\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10446,27,'\nThis one is for all you military types.  For those who don\'t know, Rangers\nare *extremely* well trained members of the U.S. Army.  Marines are people\nwho start out as normal soldiers and then are made to believe that bullets\ndon\'t actually hurt.\n\tOne day a platoon of Marines are on patrol when they come upon a\nRanger relaxing on top of a small hill. The Ranger puts his hands on his\nhips and screams out, \"Do any of you seaweed sucking jarheads think you\'re\nman enough to take me on?\"\n\tThe biggest Marine comes running up the hill, screaming back at the\nRanger.  When he gets to the top he simply plows into his foe and the two\ntumble down the other side of the hill, out of sight.  There is the sound of\na horrendous fight for a moment or two, and then all is quiet.  Soon, the\nRanger reappears, quite untouched.  He puts his hands on his hips and sneers,\n\"Well, looks to me like one of you couldn\'t do it, how about the rest?\"\n\tThe enraged Marine platoon leader sends his entire platoon (30+men)\ncharging after the Ranger.  They all go tumbling down the far side of the hill.\nAfter 15 minutes of screaming and yelling and cursing a lone, bloodied Marine\ncrawls over the top of the hill. The platoon leader yells up to his man,\n\"What\'s going on up there?\" The wounded Marine, with his last bit of breath,\nreplies, \"Sir, it\'s a... a trap, sir.  There\'re two of them!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10447,27,'\nThis yuppie, see, was in a car wreck.  His BMW was mangled, and so was he.\nThe paramedic was leaning over him getting his vitals, and all the yup\ncould groan was \"My BMW!  My BMW!\"\n\tThe paramedic tried to quiet the man, pointing out that his car\nwasn\'t his chief concern at the moment, especially as he\'d been rearranged\npretty badly himself -- for example, his left arm was severed at the elbow\nand was lying about twenty feet away.\n\tThere was a moment of stunned silence from the yup followed by\n\"Oh no!  My Rolex!  My Rolex!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10448,27,'\nTO ME, CLOWNS AREN\'T FUNNY. In fact, they\'re kinda scary. I\'ve wondered\nwhere this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the\ncircus and a clown killed my dad.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10449,27,'\nTwo pirates are sitting in a seaside tavern, talking.  One of them has a\nhook instead of a hand, and an eye patch.  The other pirate has a wooden\nleg.  Over a few beers, they start to tell each other how they received their\ninjuries.\n\t\"One day,\" says the first pirate, \"we had pulled alongside a merchant\nvessel and were boarding her.  I had my sword drawn when suddenly a man with\na saber caught me by surprise and cut my hand off.  So I had this hook put\non.  How did you lose your leg?\"\n\t\"From a broadside of grapeshot from an English military vessel, in a\nterrific battle off the coast of France.  And how about your eye?\"\n\t\"Well, I don\'t really like to talk about it,\" said the first pirate.\n\t\"Come on,\" says the second pirate.  \"It doesn\'t matter after all\nthese years, does it?\"\n\t\"Oh, okay,\" says the first pirate.  \"See, it\'s pretty embarrassing;\na seagull shit in my eye.\"\n\t\"A seagull!?  I can see how that would hurt, but I don\'t see why\nyou would *lose* the eye...\"\n\t\"But,\" the first pirate says, \"it was my first day with the hook.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10450,27,'\nTwo recent emigrants to the United States, on their first day off the boat\nin New York City, spied a hotdog vendor.  \"Do they eat dogs in America?\"\none asked his companion.\n\t\"I don\'t know.\"\n\t\"Well, if we\'re going to live in America, we have to learn to eat\nAmerican foods.\"\n\tSo they each bought a wax paper wrapped hotdog and sat down to eat\nthem on a nearby park bench.  One man looked inside his wax paper, then over\nat the other man, and asked, \"So, what part did you get?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10451,27,'\nUnbearably lovely music is heard as the curtain rises, and we see the\nwoods on a summer afternoon.  A fawn dances on and nibbles at some\nleaves.  He drifts lazily through the soft foliage.  Soon he starts\ncoughing and drops dead.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen, \"Without Feathers\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10452,27,'\n\tUpon reading a story about a man who throttled his mother-in-law, a\nman commented, \"Sounds to me like a practical choker.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10453,27,'\nWarning: Trespassers will be shot.  Survivors will be shot again.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10454,27,'\nWe are simple killers of people and destroyers of property.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10455,27,'\nWe found on St. Paul\'s only two kinds of birds -- the booby and the noddy...\nBoth are of a tame and stupid disposition, and are so unaccustomed to visitors,\nthat I could have killed any number of them with my geological hammer.\n\t\t-- Charles Darwin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10456,27,'\n\"We had it tough ... I had to get up at 9 o\'clock at night, half an\nhour before I went to bed, eat a lump of dry poison, work 29 hours down\nmill, and when we came home our Dad would kill us, and dance about on\nour grave singing Halelleuia ...\"\n\t\t-- Monty Python\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10457,27,'\nWe ought to be very grateful that we have tools.  Millions of years ago\npeople did not have them, and home projects were extremely difficult. For\nexample, when a primitive person wanted to put up paneling, he had to drive\nthe little paneling nails into the cave wall with his bare fist, so\ngenerally the paneling wound up getting spattered with primitive blood,\nwhich isn\'t really all that bad when you consider how ugly paneling is to\nbegin with.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"The Taming of the Screw\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10458,27,'\nWe\'re deep into the holiday gift-giving season, as you can tell from the\nfact that everywhere you look, you see jolly old St. Nick urging you to\npurchase things, to the point where you want to slug him right in his bowl\nfull of jelly.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Simple, Homespun Gifts\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10459,27,'\n\t\"We\'ve decided to have the budgie put down.\"\n\t\"Oh, is he very old then?\"\n\t\"No, we just don\'t like him.\"\n\t\"Oh.  How do they put budgies down anyway?\"\n\t\"Well, it\'s funny you should be asking that, as I\'ve been reading a\ngreat big book called `How to put your budgie down\'.  And as I understand it,\nyou can either hit them over the head with the book, or shoot them there, just\nabove the beak.\"\n\t\"Mrs. Conkers flushed hers down the loo.\"\n\t\"Oh, you don\'t want to do that, because they breed in the sewers and\npretty soon you get huge evil smelling flocks of soiled budgies flying out\nof people\'s lavatories infringing their personal freedoms.\"\n\t\t-- Monty Python\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10460,27,'\nWelcome thy neighbor into thy fallout shelter.  He\'ll come in handy if\nyou run out of food.\n\t\t-- Dean McLaughlin.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10461,27,'\n\t\"Well, it\'s a little rough... it might not be necessary to drag him 40 \nblocks.  Maybe just four.  You could put him in the trunk for the first 36 \nblocks, then haul him out and drag him the last four; that would certainly \nscare the piss out of him, bumping alone the street, feeling all his skin being\nripped off...\"\n\t\"He\'d be a bloody mess.  They might think he was just some drunk and\nlet him lie there all night.\"\n\t\"Don\'t worry about that.  They have a guard station in front of the\nWhite House that\'s open 24 hours a day.  The guards would recognize Colson...\nand by that time of course his wife would have called the cops and reported\nthat a bunch of thugs had kidnapped him.\"\n\t\"Wouldn\'t it be a little kinder if you drove about four more blocks\nand stopped at a phone box to ring the hospital and say, \'Would you mind going\naround to the front of the White House?  There\'s a naked man lying outside\nin the street, bleeding to death...\'\"\n\t\"... and we think it\'s Mr. Colson.\"\n\t\"It would be quite a story for the newspapers, wouldn\'t it?\"\n\t\"Yeah, I think it\'s safe to say we\'d see some headlines on that one.\"\n\t\t-- Hunter Thompson, talking to R. Steadman on C. Colson,\n\t\t   ex-Marine captain, now born again, of Watergate fame.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10462,27,'\n\"Well, well, well!  Well if it isn\'t fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in\npoison!  How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip oil?  Come\nand get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarbles, ya eunuch jelly thou!\"\n\t\t-- Alex in \"Clockwork Orange\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10463,27,'\nWhat happens if a big asteroid hits Earth?  Judging from realistic simulations\ninvolving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will\nbe pretty bad.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10464,27,'\nWhat is this line of duty, and suffering?  You are not supposed to suffer\nif you are an assassin.  The other person is supposed to suffer.\n\t\t-- Chiun, glory of the name of Sinanju, teacher of the youth\n\t\t   from outside Sinanju named Remo.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10465,27,'\nWhat you mean, how old am I?  About one hundred!  But Viennese answer is\nbetter: we say, \"I keep passing the open windows.\"  This is an old joke.\nThere was a street clown called King of the Mice: he trained rodents, he\ndid horoscopes, he could impersonate Napoleon, he could make dogs fart\non command.  One night he jumped out his window with all his pets in a box.\nWritten on the box was this: \"Life is serious, but art is fun!\"  I hear his\nfuneral was a party.  A street artist had killed himself.  Nobody had\nsupported him but now everybody missed him.  Now who would make the dogs\nmake music and the mice pant?  The bear knows this, too: it is hard work\nand great art to make life not so serious.\n\t\t-- John Irving \"The Hotel New Hampshire\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10466,27,'\nWhen arguments fail, use a blackjack.\n\t\t-- Edward \"Spike\" O\'Donnell, Al Capone associate.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10467,27,'\nWhen I kill, the only thing I feel is recoil.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10468,27,'\nWhen I was a child...  We had a quick-sand box in the backyard...\nI was an only child...  eventually.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10469,27,'\nWhen I was a kid I said to my father one afternoon, \"Daddy, will you take me\nto the zoo?\" He answered, \"If the zoo wants you let them come and get you.\"\n\t\t-- Jerry Lewis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10470,27,'\nWhen I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman.  After school we\'d\nall go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us.\nIt wasn\'t until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10471,27,'\nWhen I was eight years old I came home with tears in my eyes because some\nkids had stolen my samwich.  My father handed me an ice pick, and said,\n\"Next time, hit \'em first and hit \'em hard.\"\n\t\t-- Jake LaMotta\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10472,27,'\nWhen I was seven years old, I was once reprimanded by my mother for an\nact of collective brutality in which I had been involved at school.  A\ngroup of seven-year-olds had been teasing and tormenting a six-year-old.\n\"It is always so,\" my mother said.  \"You do things together which not one\nof you would think of doing alone.\" ... Wherever one looks in the world\nof human organization, collective responsibility brings a lowering of\nmoral standards.  The military establishment is an extreme case, an\norganization which seems to have been expressly designed to make it\npossible for people to do things together which nobody in his right mind\nwould do alone.\n\t\t-- Freeman Dyson, \"Weapons and Hope\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10473,27,'\nWhen President Paul Doumer of France was assassinated in Paris in 1932,\nnewspapers differed in their versions of the event.  This is from \"Paris\nwas Yesterday: 1925-1939\" by Janet Flanner, edited by Irving Drutman.\n\n\tTaste varied as to his cry when he was shot down, the more popular\n\tpapers preferring his despairing \"Oh, la la!,\" the graver dailies\n\tfavoring \"Is it possible?\"  What few reported were his dying words:\n\t\"But what kind of chauffeur was it?\"  Having been told by his aides\n\tnot that he had been shot but that he had been struck by a taxi, the\n\tPresident spent the last conscious moments of his life wondering how\n\thow an automobile got into the charity book sale at the Maison\n\tRothschild, where his assassination occurred.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10474,27,'\nWhen the Ngdanga tribe of West Africa hold their moon love ceremonies,\nthe men of the tribe bang their heads on sacred trees until they get a\nnose bleed, which usually cures them of ____\b\b\b\bthat.\n\t\t-- Mike Harding, \"The Armchair Anarchist\'s Almanac\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10475,27,'\nWhen the usher noticed a man stretched across three seats in a movie theatre,\nhe walked over and whispered, \"I\'m sorry, sir, but you\'re allowed only a single\nseat.\" The man moaned, but did not budge.  \"Sir,\" the user said more loudly,\n\"if you don\'t move, I\'ll have to call a manager.\"  The man moaned again but\nstayed where he was. The usher left, and returned with the manager, who, after\nseveral more attempts at dislodging the fellow, called the police.\n\tThe cop took a look at the reclining man and said, \"All right, boyo,\nwhat\'s your name?\"\n\t\"Samuel,\" he mumbled.\n\t\"And where\'re you from, Sam?\"\n\t\"The balcony.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10476,27,'\n\tWhen you have shot and killed a man you have in some measure\nclarified your attitude toward him.  You have given a definite answer\nto a definite problem.  For better or worse you have acted decisively.\n\n\tIn a way, the next move is up to him.\n\t\t-- R. A. Lafferty\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10477,27,'\nWHEN YOU\'RE RIDING IN A TIME MACHINE way far into the future, don\'t stick\nyour elbow out the window or it\'ll turn into a fossil.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10478,27,'\nWhen you\'ve seen one nuclear war, you\'ve seen them all.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10479,27,'\nWhenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct\nis to laugh.  But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me.\nThen it wouldn\'t seem quite so funny.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10480,27,'\nWhere there\'s a whip there\'s a way.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10481,27,'\n... which reminds me of the Carrot family: Ma Carrot, Pa Carrot, and Baby\nCarrot.  One fine spring day they decided to go out for a picnic.  They all\npiled into their carrot-mobile and drive out to the country.  But Pa Carrot\nwasn\'t watching where he was going and alas, he hit an oil slick and skidded\nright into a tree.  Ma and Pa Carrot escaped with a few cuts and bruises, but\npoor Baby Carrot got broken in two.  They frantically rushed him to the\nhospital and immediately the doctors started operating in a desperate attempt\nto save Baby Carrot\'s life.  Ma and Pa Carrot were beside themselves with\nanxiety ... would poor little Baby Carrot make it?\n\tAfter hours of waiting the doctor finally emerges, bleary-eyed and\nbarely able to walk.\n\t\"Is he all right, is he all right?\" Pa Carrot frantically stammers.\n\t\"Well, I have some good news and some bad news,\" replies the doctor.\n\tMa and Pa Carrot look at each other and blurt out, nearly in unison,\n\"The good news first!\"\n\t\"All right, the good news is that Baby Carrot will live.\"\n\t\"And the bad news?  What\'s the bad news about our Baby Carrot?\"\nThe doctor puts his hand on Pa Carrot\'s shoulder and solemnly looks him in\nthe eye.  \"Your son will live... but... he\'ll be a vegetable for the rest of\nhis life.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10482,27,'\nWhich would you rather have, a bursting planet or an earthquake here and there?\n\t\t-- John Joseph Lynch\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10483,27,'\nWhy does man kill?  He kills for food.  And not only food: frequently\nthere must be a beverage.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen, \"Without Feathers\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10484,27,'\nWhy don\'t elephants eat penguins ?\n\nBecause they can\'t get the wrappers off ...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10485,27,'\nWood is highly ecological, since trees are a renewable resource.  If you cut\ndown a tree, another will grow in its place.  And if you cut down the new\ntree, still another will grow.  And if you cut down that tree, yet another\nwill grow, only this one will be a mutation with long, poisonous tentacles\nand revenge in its heart, and it will sit there in the forest, cackling and\nmaking elaborate plans for when you come back.\n\nWood heat is not new.  It dates back to a day millions of years ago, when a\ngroup of cavemen were sitting around, watching dinosaurs rot. Suddenly,\nlightning struck a nearby log and set it on fire.  One of the cavemen stared\nat the fire for a few minutes, then said: \"Hey!  Wood heat!\" The other\ncavemen, who did not understand English, immediately beat him to death with\nstones.  But the key discovery had been made, and from that day forward, the\ncavemen had all the heat they needed, although their insurance rates went\nway up.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Postpetroleum Guzzler\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10486,27,'\nYeah, if it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck\n-- shoot it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10487,27,'\nYou can imagine my embarrassment when I killed the wrong guy.\n\t\t-- Joe Valachi\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10488,27,'\nYou can\'t go into the ring and be a nice guy.  I would go a month, two\nmonths, without having sex.  It worked for me because it made me a\nvicious animal. You can\'t fight if you have any compassion or anything\nlike that.\n\t\t-- Jake LaMotta\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10489,27,'\nYou can\'t say civilization don\'t advance... in every war they kill you a\nnew way.\n\t\t-- Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10490,27,'\nYou know what I wish?  I wish all the scum of the Earth had one throat\nand I had my hands about it.\n\t\t-- Rorschach, \"Watchmen\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10491,27,'\nYou should never ride in an airplane with a sports team, because if the\nplane goes down, it\'s you they\'re gonna eat!\n\t\t-- Gordon Downie, singer for Tragically Hip\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10492,27,'\n\tYour home electrical system is basically a bunch of wires that bring\nelectricity into your home and take if back out before it has a chance to\nkill you.  This is called a \"circuit\".  The most common home electrical\nproblem is when the circuit is broken by a \"circuit breaker\"; this causes\nthe electricity to back up in one of the wires until it bursts out of an\noutlet in the form of sparks, which can damage your carpet.  The best way\nto avoid broken circuits is to change your fuses regularly.\n\tAnother common problem is that the lights flicker.  This sometimes\nmeans that your electrical system is inadequate, but more often it means\nthat your home is possessed by demons, in which case you\'ll need to get a\ncaulking gun and some caulking.  If you\'re not sure whether your house is\npossessed, see \"The Amityville Horror\", a fine documentary film based on an\nactual book.  Or call in a licensed electrician, who is trained to spot the\nsigns of demonic possession, such as blood coming down the stairs, enormous\ncats on the dinette table, etc.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"The Taming of the Screw\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10493,27,'\n\t\"Your son still sliding down the banisters?\"\n\t\"We wound barbed wire around them.\"\n\t\"That stop him?\"\n\t\"No, but it sure slowed him up.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10494,28,'!07/11 PDP a ni deppart m\'I  !pleH\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10495,28,'\n101 USES FOR A DEAD MICROPROCESSOR\n\t(1)  Scarecrow for centipedes\n\t(2)  Dead cat brush\n\t(3)  Hair barrettes\n\t(4)  Cleats\n\t(5)  Self-piercing earrings\n\t(6)  Fungus trellis\n\t(7)  False eyelashes\n\t(8)  Prosthetic dog claws\n        .\n        .\n        .\n\t(99)  Window garden harrow (pulled behind Tonka tractors)\n\t(100) Killer velcro\n\t(101) Currency\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10496,28,'\n1: No code table for op: ++post\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10497,28,'\n4.2 BSD UNIX #57: Sun Jun 1 23:02:07 EDT 1986\n\nYou swing at the Sun.  You miss.  The Sun swings.  He hits you with a\n575MB disk!  You read the 575MB disk.  It is written in an alien\ntongue and cannot be read by your tired Sun-2 eyes.  You throw the\n575MB disk at the Sun.  You hit!  The Sun must repair your eyes.  The\nSun reads a scroll.  He hits your 130MB disk!  He has defeated the\n130MB disk!  The Sun reads a scroll.  He hits your Ethernet board!  He\nhas defeated your Ethernet board!  You read a scroll of \"postpone until\nMonday at 9 AM\".  Everything goes dark...\n\t\t-- /etc/motd, cbosgd\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10498,28,'\nA biologist, a statistician, a mathematician and a computer scientist are on\na photo-safari in Africa.  As they\'re driving along the savannah in their\njeep, they stop and scout the horizon with their binoculars.\n\nThe biologist: \"Look!  A herd of zebras!  And there\'s a white zebra!\n\tFantastic!  We\'ll be famous!\"\nThe statistician: \"Hey, calm down, it\'s not significant.  We only know\n\tthere\'s one white zebra.\"\nThe mathematician: \"Actually, we only know there exists a zebra, which is\n\twhite on one side.\"\nThe computer scientist : \"Oh, no!  A special case!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10499,28,'\n... A booming voice says, \"Wrong, cretin!\", and you notice that you\nhave turned into a pile of dust.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10500,28,'\nA bug in the code is worth two in the documentation.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10501,28,'\nA bug in the hand is better than one as yet undetected.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10502,28,'\nA certain monk had a habit of pestering the Grand Tortue (the only one who \nhad ever reached the Enlightenment \'Yond Enlightenment), by asking whether \nvarious objects had Buddha-nature or not.  To such a question Tortue \ninvariably sat silent.  The monk had already asked about a bean, a lake, \nand a moonlit night.  One day he brought to Tortue a piece of string, and \nasked the same question.  In reply, the Grand Tortue grasped the loop \nbetween his feet and, with a few simple manipulations, created a complex \nstring which he proferred wordlessly to the monk.  At that moment, the monk \nwas enlightened. \n\nFrom then on, the monk did not bother Tortue.  Instead, he made string after \nstring by Tortue\'s method; and he passed the method on to his own disciples, \nwho passed it on to theirs.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10503,28,'\nA complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a\nsimple system that works.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10504,28,'\n[A computer is] like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy.\n\t\t-- Joseph Campbell\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10505,28,'\nA computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention,\nwith the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequilla.\n\t-- Mitch Ratcliffe\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10506,28,'\nA computer salesman visits a company president for the purpose of selling\nthe president one of the latest talking computers.\nSalesman:\t\"This machine knows everything. I can ask it any quesstion\n\t\tand it\'ll give the correct answer.  Computer, what is the\n\t\tspeed of light?\"\nComputer:\t186,282 miles per second.\nSalesman:\t\"Who was the first president of the United States?\"\nComputer:\tGeorge Washington.\nPresident:\t\"I\'m still not convinced. Let me ask a question.\n\t\tWhere is my father?\"\nComputer:\tYour father is fishing in Georgia.\nPresident:\t\"Hah!! The computer is wrong. My father died over twenty\n\t\tyears ago!\"\nComputer:\tYour mother\'s husband died 22 years ago. Your father just\n\t\tlanded a twelve pound bass.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10507,28,'\nA computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren\'t broken.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10508,28,'\nA computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece of chocolate cake\nwithout ketchup and mustard.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10509,28,'\nA CONS is an object which cares.\n\t\t-- Bernie Greenberg.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10510,28,'\nA debugged program is one for which you have not yet found the conditions\nthat make it fail.\n\t\t-- Jerry Ogdin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10511,28,'\n\tA disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was eating\nhis morning meal.  \"I would like to give you this personality test\", said\nthe outsider, \"because I want you to be happy.\"\n\tDrescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into the\ntoaster -- \"I wish the toaster to be happy too\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10512,28,'\n\tA doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing about \nwhose profession was the oldest.  In the course of their arguments, they\ngot all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon the doctor said, \"The\nmedical profession is clearly the oldest, because Eve was made from Adam\'s\nrib, as the story goes, and that was a simply incredible surgical feat.\"\n\tThe architect did not agree.  He said, \"But if you look at the Garden \nitself, in the beginning there was chaos and void, and out of that the Garden \nand the world were created.  So God must have been an architect.\"\n\tThe computer scientist, who\'d listened carefully to all of this, then \ncommented, \"Yes, but where do you think the chaos came from?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10513,28,'\nA famous Lisp Hacker noticed an Undergraduate sitting in front of a Xerox\n1108, trying to edit a complex Klone network via a browser. Wanting to\nhelp, the Hacker clicked one of the nodes in the network with the mouse,\nand asked \"what do you see?\" Very earnestly, the Undergraduate replied \"I\nsee a cursor.\" The Hacker then quickly pressed the boot toggle at the back\nof the keyboard, while simultaneously hitting the Undergraduate over the head\nwith a thick Interlisp Manual.  The Undergraduate was then Enlightened.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10514,28,'\nA formal parsing algorithm should not always be used.\n\t\t-- D. Gries\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10515,28,'\nA Fortran compiler is the hobgoblin of little minis.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10516,28,'\nA hacker does for love what others would not do for money.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10517,28,'\nA language that doesn\'t affect the way you think about programming is\nnot worth knowing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10518,28,'\nA language that doesn\'t have everything is actually easier to program\nin than some that do.\n\t\t-- Dennis M. Ritchie\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10519,28,'\nA large number of installed systems work by fiat.  That is, they work\nby being declared to work.\n\t\t-- Anatol Holt\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10520,28,'\nA LISP programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing.\n\t\t-- Alan Perlis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10521,28,'\nA list is only as strong as its weakest link.\n\t\t-- Don Knuth\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10522,28,'\nA little retrospection shows that although many fine, useful software systems\nhave been designed by committees and built as part of multipart projects,\nthose software systems that have excited passionate fans are those that are\nthe products of one or a few designing minds, great designers.  Consider Unix,\nAPL, Pascal, Modula, the Smalltalk interface, even Fortran; and contrast them\nwith Cobol, PL/I, Algol, MVS/370, and MS-DOS.\n\t\t-- Fred Brooks\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10523,28,'\n\tA man from AI walked across the mountains to SAIL to see the Master,\nKnuth.  When he arrived, the Master was nowhere to be found.  \"Where is the\nwise one named Knuth?\" he asked a passing student.\n\t\"Ah,\" said the student, \"you have not heard. He has gone on a\npilgrimage across the mountains to the temple of AI to seek out new\ndisciples.\"\n\tHearing this, the man was Enlightened.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10524,28,'\n\tA manager asked a programmer how long it would take him to finish the\nprogram on which he was working.  \"I will be finished tomorrow,\" the programmer\npromptly replied.\n\t\"I think you are being unrealistic,\" said the manager. \"Truthfully,\nhow long will it take?\"\n\tThe programmer thought for a moment.  \"I have some features that I wish\nto add.  This will take at least two weeks,\" he finally said.\n\t\"Even that is too much to expect,\" insisted the manager, \"I will be\nsatisfied if you simply tell me when the program is complete.\"\n\tThe programmer agreed to this.\n\tSeveral years later, the manager retired.  On the way to his\nretirement lunch, he discovered the programmer asleep at his terminal.\nHe had been programming all night.\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10525,28,'\n\tA manager was about to be fired, but a programmer who worked for him\ninvented a new program that became popular and sold well.  As a result, the\nmanager retained his job.\n\tThe manager tried to give the programmer a bonus, but the programmer\nrefused it, saying, \"I wrote the program because I though it was an interesting\nconcept, and thus I expect no reward.\"\n\tThe manager, upon hearing this, remarked, \"This programmer, though he\nholds a position of small esteem, understands well the proper duty of an\nemployee.  Lets promote him to the exalted position of management consultant!\"\n\tBut when told this, the programmer once more refused, saying, \"I exist\nso that I can program.  If I were promoted, I would do nothing but waste\neveryone\'s time.  Can I go now?  I have a program that I\'m working on.\"\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10526,28,'\n\tA manager went to his programmers and told them: \"As regards to your\nwork hours: you are going to have to come in at nine in the morning and leave\nat five in the afternoon.\"  At this, all of them became angry and several\nresigned on the spot.\n\tSo the manager said: \"All right, in that case you may set your own\nworking hours, as long as you finish your projects on schedule.\"  The\nprogrammers, now satisfied, began to come in a noon and work to the wee\nhours of the morning.\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10527,28,'\n\tA manager went to the master programmer and showed him the requirements\ndocument for a new application.  The manager asked the master: \"How long will\nit take to design this system if I assign five programmers to it?\"\n\t\"It will take one year,\" said the master promptly.\n\t\"But we need this system immediately or even sooner!  How long will it\ntake it I assign ten programmers to it?\"\n\tThe master programmer frowned.  \"In that case, it will take two years.\"\n\t\"And what if I assign a hundred programmers to it?\"\n\tThe master programmer shrugged.  \"Then the design will never be\ncompleted,\" he said.\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10528,28,'\n\tA master programmer passed a novice programmer one day.  The master\nnoted the novice\'s preoccupation with a hand-held computer game.  \"Excuse me\",\nhe said, \"may I examine it?\"\n\tThe novice bolted to attention and handed the device to the master.\n\"I see that the device claims to have three levels of play: Easy, Medium,\nand Hard\", said the master.  \"Yet every such device has another level of play,\nwhere the device seeks not to conquer the human, nor to be conquered by the\nhuman.\"\n\t\"Pray, great master,\" implored the novice, \"how does one find this\nmysterious setting?\"\n\tThe master dropped the device to the ground and crushed it under foot.\nAnd suddenly the novice was enlightened.\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10529,28,'\n\tA master was explaining the nature of Tao to one of his novices.\n\"The Tao is embodied in all software -- regardless of how insignificant,\"\nsaid the master.\n\t\"Is Tao in a hand-held calculator?\" asked the novice.\n\t\"It is,\" came the reply.\n\t\"Is the Tao in a video game?\" continued the novice.\n\t\"It is even in a video game,\" said the master.\n\t\"And is the Tao in the DOS for a personal computer?\"\n\tThe master coughed and shifted his position slightly.  \"The lesson\nis over for today,\" he said.\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10530,28,'\nA modem is a baudy house.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10531,28,'\nA nasty looking dwarf throws a knife at you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10532,28,'\n\t*** A NEW KIND OF PROGRAMMING ***\n\nDo you want the instant respect that comes from being able to use technical\nterms that nobody understands?  Do you want to strike fear and loathing into\nthe hearts of DP managers everywhere?  If so, then let the Famous Programmers\'\nSchool lead you on... into the world of professional computer programming.\nThey say a good programmer can write 20 lines of effective program per day.\nWith our unique training course, we\'ll show you how to write 20 lines of code\nand lots more besides.  Our training course covers every programming language\nin existence, and some that aren\'t.  You\'ll learn why the on/off switch for a\ncomputer is so important, what the words *fatal error* mean, and who and what\nyou should blame when you make a mistake.\n\n\tYes, I want the brochure describing this incredible offer.\n\tI enclose $1000 is small unmarked bills to cover the cost of\n\tpostage and handling. (No live poultry, please.)\n\n*** Our Slogan:  Top down programming for the masses. ***\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10533,28,'\n\tA novice asked the Master: \"Here is a programmer that never designs,\ndocuments, or tests his programs.  Yet all who know him consider him one of\nthe best programmers in the world.  Why is this?\"\n\tThe Master replies: \"That programmer has mastered the Tao.  He has\ngone beyond the need for design; he does not become angry when the system\ncrashes, but accepts the universe without concern.  He has gone beyond the\nneed for documentation; he no longer cares if anyone else sees his code.  He\nhas gone beyond the need for testing; each of his programs are perfect within\nthemselves, serene and elegant, their purpose self-evident.  Truly, he has\nentered the mystery of the Tao.\"\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10534,28,'\n\tA novice asked the master: \"I have a program that sometimes runs and\nsometimes aborts.  I have followed the rules of programming, yet I am totally\nbaffled. What is the reason for this?\"\n\tThe master replied: \"You are confused because you do not understand\nthe Tao.  Only a fool expects rational behavior from his fellow humans.  Why\ndo you expect it from a machine that humans have constructed?  Computers\nsimulate determinism; only the Tao is perfect.\n\tThe rules of programming are transitory; only the Tao is eternal.\nTherefore you must contemplate the Tao before you receive enlightenment.\"\n\t\"But how will I know when I have received enlightenment?\" asked the\nnovice.\n\t\"Your program will then run correctly,\" replied the master.\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10535,28,'\n\tA novice asked the master: \"I perceive that one computer company is\nmuch larger than all others.  It towers above its competition like a giant\namong dwarfs.  Any one of its divisions could comprise an entire business.\nWhy is this so?\"\n\tThe master replied, \"Why do you ask such foolish questions?  That\ncompany is large because it is so large.  If it only made hardware, nobody\nwould buy it.  If it only maintained systems, people would treat it like a\nservant.  But because it combines all of these things, people think it one\nof the gods!  By not seeking to strive, it conquers without effort.\"\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10536,28,'\n\tA novice asked the master: \"In the east there is a great tree-structure\nthat men call \'Corporate Headquarters\'.  It is bloated out of shape with\nvice-presidents and accountants.  It issues a multitude of memos, each saying\n\'Go, Hence!\' or \'Go, Hither!\' and nobody knows what is meant.  Every year new\nnames are put onto the branches, but all to no avail.  How can such an\nunnatural entity exist?\"\n\tThe master replies: \"You perceive this immense structure and are\ndisturbed that it has no rational purpose.  Can you not take amusement from\nits endless gyrations?  Do you not enjoy the untroubled ease of programming\nbeneath its sheltering branches?  Why are you bothered by its uselessness?\"\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10537,28,'\n\tA novice of the temple once approached the Chief Priest with a\nquestion.\n\t\"Master, does Emacs have the Buddha nature?\" the novice asked.\n\tThe Chief Priest had been in the temple for many years and could be\nrelied upon to know these things.  He thought for several minutes before\nreplying.\n\t\"I don\'t see why not.  It\'s got bloody well everything else.\"\n\tWith that, the Chief Priest went to lunch.  The novice suddenly\nachieved enlightenment, several years later.\n\nCommentary:\n\nHis Master is kind,\nAnswering his FAQ quickly,\nWith thought and sarcasm.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10538,28,'\n\tA novice programmer was once assigned to code a simple financial\npackage.\n\tThe novice worked furiously for many days, but when his master\nreviewed his program, he discovered that it contained a screen editor, a set\nof generalized graphics routines, and artificial intelligence interface,\nbut not the slightest mention of anything financial.\n\tWhen the master asked about this, the novice became indignant.\n\"Don\'t be so impatient,\" he said, \"I\'ll put the financial stuff in eventually.\"\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10539,28,'\n\tA novice was trying to fix a broken lisp machine by turning the\npower off and on.  Knight, seeing what the student was doing spoke sternly,\n\"You cannot fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding\nof what is going wrong.\"  Knight turned the machine off and on.  The\nmachine worked.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10540,28,'\nA person who is more than casually interested in computers should be well\nschooled in machine language, since it is a fundamental part of a computer.\n\t\t-- Donald Knuth\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10541,28,'\n\tA program should be light and agile, its subroutines connected like a\nstrings of pearls.  The spirit and intent of the program should be retained\nthroughout.  There should be neither too little nor too much, neither needless\nloops nor useless variables, neither lack of structure nor overwhelming\nrigidity.\n\tA program should follow the \'Law of Least Astonishment\'.  What is this\nlaw?  It is simply that the program should always respond to the user in the\nway that astonishes him least.\n\tA program, no matter how complex, should act as a single unit.  The\nprogram should be directed by the logic within rather than by outward\nappearances.\n\tIf the program fails in these requirements, it will be in a state of\ndisorder and confusion.  The only way to correct this is to rewrite the\nprogram.\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10542,28,'\n\tA programmer from a very large computer company went to a software\nconference and then returned to report to his manager, saying: \"What sort\nof programmers work for other companies?  They behaved badly and were\nunconcerned with appearances. Their hair was long and unkempt and their\nclothes were wrinkled and old. They crashed out hospitality suites and they\nmade rude noises during my presentation.\"\n\tThe manager said: \"I should have never sent you to the conference.\nThose programmers live beyond the physical world.  They consider life absurd,\nan accidental coincidence.  They come and go without knowing limitations.\nWithout a care, they live only for their programs.  Why should they bother\nwith social conventions?\"\n\t\"They are alive within the Tao.\"\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10543,28,'\nA programmer is a person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of\nbeing able to turn out, after innumerable punching, an infinite series of\nincomprehensible answers calculated with micrometric precisions from vague \nassumptions based on debatable figures taken from inconclusive documents \nand carried out on instruments of problematical accuracy by persons of \ndubious reliability and questionable mentality for the avowed purpose of\nannoying and confounding a hopelessly defenseless department that was\nunfortunate enough to ask for the information in the first place.\n\t\t-- IEEE Grid newsmagazine\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10544,28,'\nA programming language is low level when its programs require attention\nto the irrelevant.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10545,28,'\nA recent study has found that concentrating on difficult off-screen\nobjects, such as the faces of loved ones, causes eye strain in computer\nscientists.  Researchers into the phenomenon cite the added concentration\nneeded to \"make sense\" of such unnatural three dimensional objects.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10546,28,'\nA rolling disk gathers no MOS.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10547,28,'\n\tA sheet of paper crossed my desk the other day and as I read it,\nrealization of a basic truth came over me.  So simple!  So obvious we couldn\'t\nsee it.  John Knivlen, Chairman of Polamar Repeater Club, an amateur radio\ngroup, had discovered how IC circuits work.  He says that smoke is the thing\nthat makes ICs work because every time you let the smoke out of an IC circuit,\nit stops working.  He claims to have verified this with thorough testing.\n\tI was flabbergasted!  Of course!  Smoke makes all things electrical\nwork.  Remember the last time smoke escaped from your Lucas voltage regulator\nDidn\'t it quit working?  I sat and smiled like an idiot as more of the truth\ndawned.  It\'s the wiring harness that carries the smoke from one device to\nanother in your Mini, MG or Jag.  And when the harness springs a leak, it lets\nthe smoke out of everything at once, and then nothing works.  The starter motor\nrequires large quantities of smoke to operate properly, and that\'s why the wire\ngoing to it is so large.\n\tFeeling very smug, I continued to expand my hypothesis.  Why are Lucas\nelectronics more likely to leak than say Bosch?  Hmmm...  Aha!!!  Lucas is\nBritish, and all things British leak!  British convertible tops leak water,\nBritish engines leak oil, British displacer units leak hydrostatic fluid, and\nI might add Brititsh tires leak air, and the British defense unit leaks\nsecrets... so naturally British electronics leak smoke.\n\t\t-- Jack Banton, PCC Automotive Electrical School\n\n\t[Ummm ... IC circuits?  Integrated circuit circuits?]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10548,28,'\nA student, in hopes of understanding the Lambda-nature, came to Greenblatt.\nAs they spoke a Multics system hacker walked by.  \"Is it true\", asked the\nstudent, \"that PL-1 has many of the same data types as Lisp?\"  Almost before\nthe student had finished his question, Greenblatt shouted, \"FOO!\", and hit\nthe student with a stick.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10549,28,'\nA successful [software] tool is one that was used to do something\nundreamed of by its author.\n\t\t-- S. C. Johnson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10550,28,'\nA well-used door needs no oil on its hinges.\nA swift-flowing steam does not grow stagnant.\nNeither sound nor thoughts can travel through a vacuum.\nSoftware rots if not used.\n\nThese are great mysteries.\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10551,28,'\nA year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10552,28,'\nAbout the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt\nax.  It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.\n\t\t-- Edsger Dijkstra\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10553,28,'\nAdding features does not necessarily increase functionality -- it just\nmakes the manuals thicker.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10554,28,'\nAdding manpower to a late software project makes it later.\n\t\t-- F. Brooks, \"The Mythical Man-Month\"\n\nWhenever one person is found adequate to the discharge of a duty by\nclose application thereto, it is worse execute by two persons and\nscarcely done at all if three or more are employed therein.\n\t\t-- George Washington, 1732-1799\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10555,28,'\n\tAfter sifting through the overwritten remaining blocks of Luke\'s home\ndirectory, Luke and PDP-1 sped away from /u/lars, across the surface of the\nWinchester riding Luke\'s flying read/write head.  PDP-1 had Luke stop at the\nedge of the cylinder overlooking /usr/spool/uucp.\n\t\"Unix-to-Unix Copy Program;\" said PDP-1.  \"You will never find a more\nwretched hive of bugs and flamers.  We must be cautious.\"\n\t\t-- DECWARS\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10556,28,'\nAlan Turing thought about criteria to settle the question of whether\nmachines can think, a question of which we now know that it is about\nas relevant as the question of whether submarines can swim.\n\t\t-- Dijkstra\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10557,28,'\nAlgol-60 surely must be regarded as the most important programming language\nyet developed.\n\t\t-- T. Cheatham\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10558,28,'\nAll constants are variables.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10559,28,'\n===  ALL CSH USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================\n\nSet the variable $LOSERS to all the people that you think are losers.  This\nwill cause all said losers to have the variable $PEOPLE-WHO-THINK-I-AM-A-LOSER\nupdated in their .login file.  Should you attempt to execute a job on a \nmachine with poor response time and a machine on your local net is currently\npopulated by losers, that machine will be freed up for your job through a\ncold boot process.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10560,28,'\nAll parts should go together without forcing.  You must remember that the parts\nyou are reassembling were disassembled by you.  Therefore, if you can\'t get\nthem together again, there must be a reason.  By all means, do not use a hammer.\n\t\t-- IBM maintenance manual, 1925\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10561,28,'\nAll programmers are optimists.  Perhaps this modern sorcery especially attracts\nthose who believe in happy endings and fairy godmothers.  Perhaps the hundreds\nof nitty frustrations drive away all but those who habitually focus on the end\ngoal.  Perhaps it is merely that computers are young, programmers are younger,\nand the young are always optimists.  But however the selection process works,\nthe result is indisputable:  \"This time it will surely run,\" or \"I just found\nthe last bug.\"\n\t\t-- Frederick Brooks, \"The Mythical Man Month\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10562,28,'\nAll programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10563,28,'\n\"... all the good computer designs are bootlegged; the formally planned\nproducts, if they are built at all, are dogs!\"\n\t\t-- David E. Lundstrom, \"A Few Good Men From Univac\",\n\t\t   MIT Press, 1987\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10564,28,'\nAll the simple programs have been written.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10565,28,'\n===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================\n\nA new system, the CIRCULATORY system, has been added.\n\nThe long-experimental CIRCULATORY system has been released to users.  The\nLisp Machine uses Type B fluid, the L machine uses Type A fluid.  When the \nswitch to Common Lisp occurs both machines will, of course, be Type O.\nPlease check fluid level by using the DIP stick which is located in the\nback of VMI monitors.  Unchecked low fluid levels can cause poor paging\nperformance.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10566,28,'\n===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================\n\nBug reports now amount to an average of 12,853 per day.  Unfortunately,\nthis is only a small fraction [ < 1');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10567,28,' ] of the mail volume we receive.  In\norder that we may more expeditiously deal with these valuable messages,\nplease communicate them by one of the following paths:\n\n\tARPA:  WastebasketSLMHQ.ARPA\n\tUUCP:  [berkeley, seismo, harpo]!fubar!thekid!slmhq!wastebasket\n \tNon-network sites:  Federal Express to:\n\t\tWastebasket\n\t\tRoom NE43-926\n\t\tCopernicus, The Moon, 12345-6789\n\tFor that personal contact feeling call 1-415-642-4948; our trained\n\toperators are on call 24 hours a day.  VISA/MC accepted.*\n\n* Our very rich lawyers have assured us that we are not \n  responsible for any errors or advice given over the phone.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10568,28,'\n===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================\n\nCAR and CDR now return extra values.\n\nThe function CAR now returns two values.  Since it has to go to the trouble \nto figure out if the object is carcdr-able anyway, we figured you might as \nwell get both halves at once.  For example, the following code shows how to \ndestructure a cons (SOME-CONS) into its two slots (THE-CAR and THE-CDR):\n\n\t(MULTIPLE-VALUE-BIND (THE-CAR THE-CDR) (CAR SOME-CONS) ...)\n\nFor symmetry with CAR, CDR returns a second value which is the CAR of the\nobject.  In a related change, the functions MAKE-ARRAY and CONS have been \nfixed so they don\'t allocate any storage except on the stack.  This should\nhopefully help people who don\'t like using the garbage collector because\nit cold boots the machine so often.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10569,28,'\n===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================\n\nCompiler optimizations have been made to macro expand LET into a WITHOUT-\nINTERRUPTS special form so that it can PUSH things into a stack in the\nLET-OPTIMIZATION area, SETQ the variables and then POP them back when it\'s\ndone.  Don\'t worry about this unless you use multiprocessing.\nNote that LET *could* have been defined by:\n\n\t(LET ((LET \'`(LET ((LET \',LET))\n\t\t\t,LET)))\n\t`(LET ((LET \',LET))\n\t\t,LET))\n\nThis is believed to speed up execution by as much as a factor of 1.01 or\n3.50 depending on whether you believe our friendly marketing representatives.\nThis code was written by a new programmer here (we snatched him away from\nItty Bitti Machines where we was writting COUGHBOL code) so to give him\nconfidence we trusted his vows of \"it works pretty well\" and installed it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10570,28,'\n===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================\n\nJCL support as alternative to system menu.\n\nIn our continuing effort to support languages other than LISP on the CADDR,\nwe have developed an OS/360-compatible JCL.  This can be used as an\nalternative to the standard system menu.  Type System J to get to a JCL\ninteractive read-execute-diagnose loop window.  [Note that for 360\ncompatibility, all input lines are truncated to 80 characters.]  This\nwindow also maintains a mouse-sensitive display of critical job parameters\nsuch as dataset allocation, core allocation, channels, etc.  When a JCL\nsyntax error is detected or your job ABENDs, the window-oriented JCL\ndebugger is entered.  The JCL debugger displays appropriate OS/360 error\nmessages (such as IEC703, \"disk error\") and allows you to dequeue your job.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10571,28,'\n===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================\n\nThe garbage collector now works.  In addition a new, experimental garbage \ncollection algorithm has been installed.  With SI:');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10572,28,'DSK-GC-QLX-BITS set to 17,\n(NOT the default) the old garbage collection algorithm remains in force; when \nvirtual storage is filled, the machine cold boots itself.  With SI:');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10573,28,'DSK-GC-\nQLX-BITS set to 23, the new garbage collector is enabled.  Unlike most garbage\ncollectors, the new gc starts its mark phase from the mind of the user, rather \nthan from the obarray.  This allows the garbage collection of significantly \nmore Qs.  As the garbage collector runs, it may ask you something like \"Do you\nremember what SI:RDTBL-TRANS does?\", and if you can\'t give a reasonable answer\nin thirty seconds, the symbol becomes a candidate for GCing.  The variable \nSI:');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10574,28,'GC-QLX-LUSER-TM governs how long the GC waits before timing out the user.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10575,28,'\n===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================\n\nThere has been some confusion concerning MAPCAR.\n\t(DEFUN MAPCAR (&FUNCTIONAL FCN &EVAL &REST LISTS)\n\t\t(PROG (V P LP)\n\t\t(SETQ P (LOCF V))\n\tL\t(SETQ LP LISTS)\n\t\t(');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10576,28,'START-FUNCTION-CALL FCN T (LENGTH LISTS) NIL)\n\tL1\t(OR LP (GO L2))\n\t\t(AND (NULL (CAR LP)) (RETURN V))\n\t\t(');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10577,28,'PUSH (CAAR LP))\n\t\t(RPLACA LP (CDAR LP))\n\t\t(SETQ LP (CDR LP))\n\t\t(GO L1)\n\tL2\t(');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10578,28,'FINISH-FUNCTION-CALL FCN T (LENGTH LISTS) NIL)\n\t\t(SETQ LP (');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10579,28,'POP))\n\t\t(RPLACD P (SETQ P (NCONS LP)))\n\t\t(GO L)))\nWe hope this clears up the many questions we\'ve had about it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10580,28,'\nAll your files have been destroyed (sorry).  Paul.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10581,28,'\nAlmost anything derogatory you could say about today\'s software design\nwould be accurate.\n\t\t-- K.E. Iverson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10582,28,'\nAlthough it is still a truism in industry that \"no one was ever fired for\nbuying IBM,\" Bill O\'Neil, the chief technology officer at Drexel Burnham\nLambert, says he knows for a fact that someone has been fired for just that\nreason.  He knows it because he fired the guy.\n\t\"He made a bad decision, and what it came down to was, \'Well, I\nbought it because I figured it was safe to buy IBM,\'\"  Mr. O\'Neil says.\n\"I said, \'No.  Wrong.  Game over.  Next contestant, please.\'\"\n\t\t-- The Wall Street Journal, December 6, 1989\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10583,28,'\nAmigaDOS Beer: The company has gone out of business, but their recipe has \nbeen picked up by some weird German company, so now this beer will be an \nimport.  This beer never really sold very well because the original \nmanufacturer didn\'t understand marketing. Like Unix Beer, AmigaDOS Beer \nfans are an extremely loyal and loud group. It originally came in a \n16-oz. can, but now comes in 32-oz.  cans too.  When this can was \noriginally introduced, it appeared flashy and colorful, but the design \nhasn\'t changed much over the years, so it appears dated now.  Critics of \nthis beer claim that it is only meant for watching TV anyway.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10584,28,'\nAn Ada exception is when a routine gets in trouble and says\n\'Beam me up, Scotty\'.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10585,28,'\nAn adequate bootstrap is a contradiction in terms.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10586,28,'\nAn algorithm must be seen to be believed.\n\t\t-- D.E. Knuth\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10587,28,'\n... an anecdote from IBM\'s Yorktown Heights Research Center.  When a\nprogrammer used his new computer terminal, all was fine when he was sitting\ndown, but he couldn\'t log in to the system when he was standing up.  That\nbehavior was 100 percent repeatable: he could always log in when sitting and\nnever when standing.\n\nMost of us just sit back and marvel at such a story; how could that terminal\nknow whether the poor guy was sitting or standing?  Good debuggers, though,\nknow that there has to be a reason.  Electrical theories are the easiest to\nhypothesize: was there a loose with under the carpet, or problems with static\nelectricity?  But electrical problems are rarely consistently reproducible.\nAn alert IBMer finally noticed that the problem was in the terminal\'s keyboard:\nthe tops of two keys were switched.  When the programmer was seated he was a\ntouch typist and the problem went unnoticed, but when he stood he was led\nastray by hunting and pecking.\n\t-- \"Programming Pearls\" column, by Jon Bentley in CACM February 1985\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10588,28,'\nAn elephant is a mouse with an operating system.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10589,28,'\nAn engineer is someone who does list processing in FORTRAN.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10590,28,'\nAn interpretation _\bI satisfies a sentence in the table language if and only if\neach entry in the table designates the value of the function designated by the\nfunction constant in the upper-left corner applied to the objects designated\nby the corresponding row and column labels.\n\t\t-- Genesereth & Nilsson, \"Logical foundations of Artificial\n\t\t   Intelligence\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10591,28,'\nAnd it should be the law: If you use the word `paradigm\' without knowing\nwhat the dictionary says it means, you go to jail.  No exceptions.\n\t\t-- David Jones\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10592,28,'\nAnd on the seventh day, He exited from append mode.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10593,28,'\nAnother megabytes the dust.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10594,28,'\nAny given program will expand to fill available memory.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10595,28,'\nAny given program, when running, is obsolete.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10596,28,'\nAny program which runs right is obsolete.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10597,28,'\nAny programming language is at its best before it is implemented and used.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10598,28,'\n... Any resemblance between the above views and those of my employer,\nmy terminal, or the view out my window are purely coincidental.  Any\nresemblance between the above and my own views is non-deterministic.  The\nquestion of the existence of views in the absence of anyone to hold them\nis left as an exercise for the reader.  The question of the existence of\nthe reader is left as an exercise for the second god coefficient.  (A\ndiscussion of non-orthogonal, non-integral polytheism is beyond the scope\nof this article.)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10599,28,'\nAny sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.\n\t\t-- Rich Kulawiec\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10600,28,'\nAnyone who has attended a USENIX conference in a fancy hotel can tell you\nthat a sentence like \"You\'re one of those computer people, aren\'t you?\"\nis roughly equivalent to \"Look, another amazingly mobile form of slime\nmold!\" in the mouth of a hotel cocktail waitress.\n\t\t-- Elizabeth Zwicky\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10601,28,'\nAPL hackers do it in the quad.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10602,28,'\nAPL is a mistake, carried through to perfection.  It is the language of the\nfuture for the programming techniques of the past: it creates a new generation\nof coding bums.\n\t\t-- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10603,28,'\nAPL is a natural extension of assembler language programming;\n...and is best for educational purposes.\n\t\t-- A. Perlis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10604,28,'\nAPL is a write-only language.  I can write programs in APL, but I can\'t\nread any of them.\n\t\t-- Roy Keir\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10605,28,'\nAre we running light with overbyte?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10606,28,'\nAround computers it is difficult to find the correct unit of time to\nmeasure progress.  Some cathedrals took a century to complete.  Can you\nimagine the grandeur and scope of a program that would take as long?\n\t\t-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10607,28,'\nAs a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10608,28,'\nAs far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.\n\t\t-- Weisert\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10609,28,'\nAs in certain cults it is possible to kill a process if you know its true name.\n\t\t-- Ken Thompson and Dennis M. Ritchie\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10610,28,'\nAs in Protestant Europe, by contrast, where sects divided endlessly into\nsmaller competing sects and no church dominated any other, all is different\nin the fragmented world of IBM.  That realm is now a chaos of conflicting\nnorms and standards that not even IBM can hope to control.  You can buy a\ncomputer that works like an IBM machine but contains nothing made or sold by\nIBM itself.  Renegades from IBM constantly set up rival firms and establish\nstandards of their own.  When IBM recently abandoned some of its original\nstandards and decreed new ones, many of its rivals declared a puritan\nallegiance to IBM\'s original faith, and denounced the company as a divisive\ninnovator.  Still, the IBM world is united by its distrust of icons and\nimagery.  IBM\'s screens are designed for language, not pictures.  Graven\nimages may be tolerated by the luxurious cults, but the true IBM faith relies\non the austerity of the word.\n\t\t-- Edward Mendelson, \"The New Republic\", February 22, 1988\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10611,28,'\nAs long as there are ill-defined goals, bizarre bugs, and unrealistic \nschedules, there will be Real Programmers willing to jump in and Solve \nThe Problem, saving the documentation for later.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10612,28,'\nAs of next Thursday, UNIX will be flushed in favor of TOPS-10.\nPlease update your programs.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10613,28,'\nAs of next Tuesday, C will be flushed in favor of COBOL.\nPlease update your programs.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10614,28,'\nAs of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10615,28,'\nAs part of an ongoing effort to keep you, the Fortune reader, abreast of\nthe valuable information the daily crosses the USENET, Fortune presents:\n\nNews articles that answer *your* questions, #1:\n\n\tNewsgroups: comp.sources.d\n\tSubject: how do I run C code received from sources\n\tKeywords: C sources\n\tDistribution: na\n\n\tI do not know how to run the C programs that are posted in the\n\tsources newsgroup.  I save the files, edit them to remove the\n\theaders, and change the mode so that they are executable, but I\n\tcannot get them to run.  (I have never written a C program before.)\n\n\tMust they be compiled?  With what compiler?  How do I do this?  If\n\tI compile them, is an object code file generated or must I generate\n\tit explicitly with the > character?  Is there something else that\n\tmust be done?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10616,28,'\nAs part of the conversion, computer specialists rewrote 1,500 programs;\na process that traditionally requires some debugging.\n\t\t-- USA Today, referring to the Internal Revenue Service\n\t\t   conversion to a new computer system.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10617,28,'\nAs soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn\'t\nas easy to get programs right as we had thought.  Debugging had to be\ndiscovered.  I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large\npart of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in\nmy own programs.\n\t\t-- Maurice Wilkes, designer of EDSAC, on programming, 1949\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10618,28,'\nAs the system comes up, the component builders will from time to time appear,\nbearing hot new versions of their pieces -- faster, smaller, more complete,\nor putatively less buggy.  The replacement of a working component by a new\nversion requires the same systematic testing procedure that adding a new\ncomponent does, although it should require less time, for more complete and\nefficient test cases will usually be available.\n\t\t-- Frederick Brooks Jr., \"The Mythical Man Month\" \n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10619,28,'\nAs the trials of life continue to take their toll, remember that there\nis always a future in Computer Maintenance.\n\t\t-- National Lampoon, \"Deteriorata\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10620,28,'\nAs Will Rogers would have said, \"There is no such things as a free variable.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10621,28,'\nASCII a stupid question, you get an EBCDIC answer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10622,28,'\nASHes to ASHes, DOS to DOS.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10623,28,'\nAsk not for whom the <CONTROL-G> tolls.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10624,28,'\nAssembly language experience is [important] for the maturity\nand understanding of how computers work that it provides.\n\t\t-- D. Gries\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10625,28,'\nAsynchronous inputs are at the root of our race problems.\n\t\t-- D. Winker and F. Prosser\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10626,28,'\nAt about 2500 A.D., humankind discovers a computer problem that *must* be\nsolved.  The only difficulty is that the problem is NP complete and will\ntake thousands of years even with the latest optical biologic technology\navailable.  The best computer scientists sit down to think up some solution.\nIn great dismay, one of the C.S. people tells her husband about it.  There\nis only one solution, he says.  Remember physics 103, Modern Physics, general\nrelativity and all.  She replies, \"What does that have to do with solving\na computer problem?\"\n\t\"Remember the twin paradox?\"\n\tAfter a few minutes, she says, \"I could put the computer on a very\nfast machine and the computer would have just a few minutes to calculate but\nthat is the exact opposite of what we want... Of course!  Leave the\ncomputer here, and accelerate the earth!\"\n\tThe problem was so important that they did exactly that.  When\nthe earth came back, they were presented with the answer:\n\n\tIEH032 Error in JOB Control Card.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10627,28,'\nAt first sight, the idea of any rules or principles being superimposed on\nthe creative mind seems more likely to hinder than to help, but this is\nquite untrue in practice.  Disciplined thinking focuses inspiration rather\nthan blinkers it.\n\t\t-- G.L. Glegg, \"The Design of Design\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10628,28,'\nAt Group L, Stoffel oversees six first-rate programmers, a managerial\nchallenge roughly comparable to herding cats.\n\t\t-- The Washington Post Magazine, 9 June, 1985\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10629,28,'\nAt the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will find\nat least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10630,28,'\nAvoid strange women and temporary variables.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10631,28,'\nBasic is a high level languish.  APL is a high level anguish.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10632,28,'\nBASIC is the Computer Science equivalent of `Scientific Creationism\'.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10633,28,'\nBASIC is to computer programming as QWERTY is to typing.\n\t\t-- Seymour Papert\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10634,28,'\nBe careful when a loop exits to the same place from side and bottom.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10635,28,'\nBehind every great computer sits a skinny little geek.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10636,28,'\nBell Labs Unix -- Reach out and grep someone.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10637,28,'\nBeware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.\n\t\t-- Donald Knuth\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10638,28,'\nBeware of Programmers who carry screwdrivers.\n\t\t-- Leonard Brandwein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10639,28,'\nBeware of the Turing Tar-pit in which everything is possible but nothing of \ninterest is easy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10640,28,'\nBeware the new TTY code!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10641,28,'\nBlinding speed can compensate for a lot of deficiencies.\n\t\t-- David Nichols\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10642,28,'\nBLISS is ignorance.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10643,28,'\nBoth models are identical in performance, functional operation, and\ninterface circuit details.  The two models, however, are not compatible\non the same communications line connection.\n\t\t-- Bell System Technical Reference\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10644,28,'\nBrace yourselves.  We\'re about to try something that borders on the unique:\nan actually rather serious technical book which is not only (gasp) vehemently\nanti-Solemn, but also (shudder) takes sides.  I tend to think of it as\n`Constructive Snottiness.\'\n\t\t-- Mike Padlipsky, \"Elements of Networking Style\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10645,28,'\nBrain fried -- Core dumped\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10646,28,'\nBreadth-first search is the bulldozer of science.\n\t\t-- Randy Goebel\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10647,28,'\n\tBrian Kernighan has an automobile which he helped design.\nUnlike most automobiles, it has neither speedometer, nor gas gauge, nor\nany of the numerous idiot lights which plague the modern driver.\nRather, if the driver makes any mistake, a giant \"?\" lights up in the\ncenter of the dashboard.  \"The experienced driver\", he says, \"will\nusually know what\'s wrong.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10648,28,'\nBringing computers into the home won\'t change either one, but may\nrevitalize the corner saloon.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10649,28,'\nBuild a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10650,28,'\nBuilding translators is good clean fun.\n\t\t-- T. Cheatham\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10651,28,'\nBus error -- driver executed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10652,28,'\nBus error -- please leave by the rear door.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10653,28,'\nBut in our enthusiasm, we could not resist a radical overhaul of the\nsystem, in which all of its major weaknesses have been exposed,\nanalyzed, and replaced with new weaknesses.\n\t\t-- Bruce Leverett, \"Register Allocation in Optimizing Compilers\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10654,28,'\nBut this has taken us far afield from interface, which is not a bad\nplace to be, since I particularly want to move ahead to the kludge.\nWhy do people have so much trouble understanding the kludge?  What\nis a kludge, after all, but not enough K\'s, not enough ROM\'s, not\nenough RAM\'s, poor quality interface and too few bytes to go around?\nHave I explained yet about the bytes?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10655,28,'\n\"But what we need to know is, do people want nasally-insertable computers?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10656,28,'\nBy long-standing tradition, I take this opportunity to savage other\ndesigners in the thin disguise of good, clean fun.\n\t\t-- P.J. Plauger, \"Computer Language\", 1988, April\n\t\t   Fool\'s column.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10657,28,'\nBYTE editors are people who separate the wheat from the chaff, and then\ncarefully print the chaff.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10658,28,'\nByte your tongue.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10659,28,'\nC Code.\nC Code Run.\nRun, Code, RUN!\n\tPLEASE!!!!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10660,28,'\nC for yourself.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10661,28,'\nC makes it easy for you to shoot yourself in the foot.  C++ makes that\nharder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.\n\t\t-- Bjarne Stroustrup\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10662,28,'\nC\'est magnifique, mais ce n\'est pas l\'Informatique.\n\t\t-- Bosquet [on seeing the IBM 4341]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10663,28,'\nC++ is the best example of second-system effect since OS/360.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10664,28,'\n... C++ offers even more flexible control over the visibility of member\nobjects and member functions.  Specifically, members may be placed in the\npublic, private, or protected parts of a class.  Members declared in the\npublic parts are visible to all clients; members declared in the private\nparts are fully encapsulated; and members declared in the protected parts\nare visible only to the class itself and its subclasses.  C++ also supports\nthe notion of *_______\b\b\b\b\b\b\bfriends*: cooperative classes that are permitted to see each\nother\'s private parts.\n\t\t-- Grady Booch, \"Object Oriented Design with Applications\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10665,28,'\nCalm down, it\'s *____\b\b\b\bonly* ones and zeroes.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10666,28,'\nCan\'t open /usr/fortunes.  Lid stuck on cookie jar.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10667,28,'\nCan\'t open /usr/games/lib/fortunes.dat.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10668,28,'\nCChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh..\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10669,28,'\nCCI Power 6/40: one board, a megabyte of cache, and an attitude...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10670,28,'\nCenter meeting at 4pm in 2C-543.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10671,28,'\nCivilization, as we know it, will end sometime this evening.\nSee SYSNOTE tomorrow for more information.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10672,28,'\nCOBOL is for morons.\n\t\t-- E.W. Dijkstra\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10673,28,'\nCobol programmers are down in the dumps.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10674,28,'\nCoding is easy;  All you do is sit staring at a terminal until the drops\nof blood form on your forehead.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10675,28,'\nComparing software engineering to classical engineering assumes that software\nhas the ability to wear out.  Software typically behaves, or it does not.  It\neither works, or it does not.  Software generally does not degrade, abrade,\nstretch, twist, or ablate.  To treat it as a physical entity, therefore, is\nmisapplication of our engineering skills.  Classical engineering deals with\nthe characteristics of hardware; software engineering should deal with the\ncharacteristics of *software*, and not with hardware or management.\n\t\t-- Dan Klein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10676,28,'\nCOMPASS [for the CDC-6000 series] is the sort of assembler one expects from\na corporation whose president codes in octal.\n\t\t-- J.N. Gray\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10677,28,'\n... computer hardware progress is so fast.  No other technology since\ncivilization began has seen six orders of magnitude in performance-price\ngain in 30 years.\n\t\t-- Fred Brooks\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10678,28,'\nComputer programmers do it byte by byte.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10679,28,'\nComputer programmers never die, they just get lost in the processing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10680,28,'\nComputer programs expand so as to fill the core available.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10681,28,'\nComputer Science is merely the post-Turing decline in formal systems theory.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10682,28,'\nComputer Science is the only discipline in which we view adding a new wing\nto a building as being maintenance\n\t\t-- Jim Horning\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10683,28,'\nComputers are not intelligent.  They only think they are.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10684,28,'\nComputers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.\nAny system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.\n\t\t-- Gilb\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10685,28,'\nComputers are useless.  They can only give you answers.\n\t\t-- Pablo Picasso\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10686,28,'\nComputers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in\nthe world that just don\'t add up.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10687,28,'\nComputers don\'t actually think.\n\tYou just think they think.\n\t\t(We think.)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10688,28,'\nComputers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more\nthan the estimate the job will cost.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10689,28,'\nConceptual integrity in turn dictates that the design must proceed\nfrom one mind, or from a very small number of agreeing resonant minds.\n\t\t-- Frederick Brooks Jr., \"The Mythical Man Month\" \n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10690,28,'\nCongratulations!  You are the one-millionth user to log into our system.\nIf there\'s anything special we can do for you, anything at all, don\'t\nhesitate to ask!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10691,28,'\n\tCosmotronic Software Unlimited Inc. does not warrant that the\nfunctions contained in the program will meet your requirements or that\nthe operation of the program will be uninterrupted or error-free.\n\tHowever, Cosmotronic Software Unlimited Inc. warrants the\ndiskette(s) on which the program is furnished to be of black color and\nsquare shape under normal use for a period of ninety (90) days from the\ndate of purchase.\n\tNOTE: IN NO EVENT WILL COSMOTRONIC SOFTWARE UNLIMITED OR ITS\nDISTRIBUTORS AND THEIR DEALERS BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ANY DAMAGES, INCLUDING\nANY LOST PROFIT, LOST SAVINGS, LOST PATIENCE OR OTHER INCIDENTAL OR\nCONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES.\n\t\t-- Horstmann Software Design, the \"ChiWriter\" user manual\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10692,28,'\nCouldn\'t we jury-rig the cat to act as an audio switch, and have it yell \nat people to save their core images before logging them out?  I\'m sure \nthe cattle prod would be effective in this regard.  In any case, a traverse \nmounted iguana, while more perverted, gives better traction, not to mention\nbeing easier to stake.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10693,28,'\nCounting in binary is just like counting in decimal -- if you are all thumbs.\n\t\t-- Glaser and Way\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10694,28,'\nCounting in octal is just like counting in decimal--if you don\'t use your thumbs.\n\t\t-- Tom Lehrer\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10695,28,'\n[Crash programs] fail because they are based on the theory that, with nine\nwomen pregnant, you can get a baby a month.\n\t\t-- Wernher von Braun\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10696,28,'\nCrazee Edeee, his prices are INSANE!!!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10697,28,'\nCreating computer software is always a demanding and painstaking\nprocess -- an exercise in logic, clear expression, and almost fanatical\nattention to detail.  It requires intelligence, dedication, and an\nenormous amount of hard work.  But, a certain amount of unpredictable\nand often unrepeatable inspiration is what usually makes the difference\nbetween adequacy and excellence.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10698,28,'\nCreating computer software is always a demanding and painstaking\nprocess -- an exercise in logic, clear expression, and almost fanatical\nattention to detail.  It requires intelligence, dedication, and an\nenormous amount of hard work.  But, a certain amount of unpredictable\nand often unrepeatable inspiration is what usually makes the difference\nbetween adequacy and excellence.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10699,28,'\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10700,28,'DCL-MEM-BAD, bad memory\nVMS-F-PDGERS, pudding between the ears\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10701,28,'\nDear Emily, what about test messages?\n\t\t-- Concerned\n\nDear Concerned:\n\tIt is important, when testing, to test the entire net.  Never test\nmerely a subnet distribution when the whole net can be done.  Also put \"please\nignore\" on your test messages, since we all know that everybody always skips\na message with a line like that.  Don\'t use a subject like \"My sex is female\nbut I demand to be addressed as male.\" because such articles are read in depth\nby all USEnauts.\n\t\t-- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10702,28,'\nDear Emily:\n\tHow can I choose what groups to post in?\n\t\t-- Confused\n\nDear Confused:\n\tPick as many as you can, so that you get the widest audience.  After\nall, the net exists to give you an audience.  Ignore those who suggest you\nshould only use groups where you think the article is highly appropriate.\nPick all groups where anybody might even be slightly interested.\n\tAlways make sure followups go to all the groups.  In the rare event\nthat you post a followup which contains something original, make sure you\nexpand the list of groups.  Never include a \"Followup-to:\" line in the\nheader, since some people might miss part of the valuable discussion in\nthe fringe groups.\n\t\t-- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10703,28,'\nDear Emily:\n\tI collected replies to an article I wrote, and now it\'s time to\nsummarize.  What should I do?\n\t\t-- Editor\n\nDear Editor:\n\tSimply concatenate all the articles together into a big file and post\nthat.  On USENET, this is known as a summary.  It lets people read all the\nreplies without annoying newsreaders getting in the way.  Do the same when\nsummarizing a vote.\n\t\t-- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10704,28,'\nDear Emily:\n\tI recently read an article that said, \"reply by mail, I\'ll summarize.\"\nWhat should I do?\n\t\t-- Doubtful\n\nDear Doubtful:\n\tPost your response to the whole net.  That request applies only to\ndumb people who don\'t have something interesting to say.  Your postings are\nmuch more worthwhile than other people\'s, so it would be a waste to reply by\nmail.\n\t\t-- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10705,28,'\nDear Emily:\n\tI saw a long article that I wish to rebut carefully, what should\nI do?\n\t\t-- Angry\n\nDear Angry:\n\tInclude the entire text with your article, and include your comments\nbetween the lines.  Be sure to post, and not mail, even though your article\nlooks like a reply to the original.  Everybody *loves* to read those long\npoint-by-point debates, especially when they evolve into name-calling and\nlots of \"Is too!\" -- \"Is not!\" -- \"Is too, twizot!\" exchanges.\n\t\t-- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10706,28,'\nDear Emily:\n\tI\'m having a serious disagreement with somebody on the net. I\ntried complaints to his sysadmin, organizing mail campaigns, called for\nhis removal from the net and phoning his employer to get him fired.\nEverybody laughed at me.  What can I do?\n\t\t-- A Concerned Citizen\n\nDear Concerned:\n\tGo to the daily papers.  Most modern reporters are top-notch computer\nexperts who will understand the net, and your problems, perfectly.  They\nwill print careful, reasoned stories without any errors at all, and surely\nrepresent the situation properly to the public.  The public will also all\nact wisely, as they are also fully cognizant of the subtle nature of net\nsociety.\n\tPapers never sensationalize or distort, so be sure to point out things\nlike racism and sexism wherever they might exist.  Be sure as well that they\nunderstand that all things on the net, particularly insults, are meant\nliterally.  Link what transpires on the net to the causes of the Holocaust, if\npossible.  If regular papers won\'t take the story, go to a tabloid paper --\nthey are always interested in good stories.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10707,28,'\nDear Emily:\n\tI\'m still confused as to what groups articles should be posted\nto.  How about an example?\n\t\t-- Still Confused\n\nDear Still:\n\tOk.  Let\'s say you want to report that Gretzky has been traded from\nthe Oilers to the Kings.  Now right away you might think rec.sport.hockey\nwould be enough.  WRONG.  Many more people might be interested.  This is a\nbig trade!  Since it\'s a NEWS article, it belongs in the news.* hierarchy\nas well.  If you are a news admin, or there is one on your machine, try\nnews.admin.  If not, use news.misc.\n\tThe Oilers are probably interested in geology, so try sci.physics.\nHe is a big star, so post to sci.astro, and sci.space because they are also\ninterested in stars.  Next, his name is Polish sounding.  So post to\nsoc.culture.polish.  But that group doesn\'t exist, so cross-post to\nnews.groups suggesting it should be created.  With this many groups of\ninterest, your article will be quite bizarre, so post to talk.bizarre as\nwell.  (And post to comp.std.mumps, since they hardly get any articles\nthere, and a \"comp\" group will propagate your article further.)\n\tYou may also find it is more fun to post the article once in each\ngroup.  If you list all the newsgroups in the same article, some newsreaders\nwill only show the the article to the reader once!  Don\'t tolerate this.\n\t\t-- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10708,28,'\nDear Emily:\n\tToday I posted an article and forgot to include my signature.\nWhat should I do?\n\t\t-- Forgetful\n\nDear Forgetful:\n\tRush to your terminal right away and post an article that says,\n\"Oops, I forgot to post my signature with that last article.  Here\nit is.\"\n\tSince most people will have forgotten your earlier article,\n(particularly since it dared to be so boring as to not have a nice, juicy\nsignature) this will remind them of it.  Besides, people care much more\nabout the signature anyway.\n\t\t-- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10709,28,'\nDear Ms. Postnews:\n\tI couldn\'t get mail through to somebody on another site.  What\n\tshould I do?\n\t\t-- Eager Beaver\n\nDear Eager:\n\tNo problem, just post your message to a group that a lot of people\nread.  Say, \"This is for John Smith.  I couldn\'t get mail through so I\'m\nposting it.  All others please ignore.\"\n\tThis way tens of thousands of people will spend a few seconds scanning\nover and ignoring your article, using up over 16 man-hours their collective\ntime, but you will be saved the terrible trouble of checking through usenet\nmaps or looking for alternate routes.  Just think, if you couldn\'t distribute\nyour message to 9000 other computers, you might actually have to (gasp) call\ndirectory assistance for 60 cents, or even phone the person.  This can cost\nas much as a few DOLLARS (!) for a 5 minute call!\n\tAnd certainly it\'s better to spend 10 to 20 dollars of other people\'s\nmoney distributing the message than for you to have to waste $9 on an overnight\nletter, or even 25 cents on a stamp!\n\tDon\'t forget.  The world will end if your message doesn\'t get through,\nso post it as many places as you can.\n\t\t-- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10710,28,'\nDear Sir,\n\tI am firmly opposed to the spread of microchips either to the home or\nto the office,  We have more than enough of them foisted upon us in public\nplaces.  They are a disgusting Americanism, and can only result in the farmers\nbeing forced to grow smaller potatoes, which in turn will cause massive un-\nemployment in the already severely depressed agricultural industry.\n\tYours faithfully,\n\tCapt. Quinton D\'Arcy, J.P.\n\tSevenoaks\n\t\t-- Letters To The Editor, The Times of London\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10711,28,'\nDebug is human, de-fix divine.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10712,28,'\nDEC diagnostics would run on a dead whale.\n\t\t-- Mel Ferentz\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10713,28,'\n#define BITCOUNT(x)\t(((BX_(x)+(BX_(x)>>4)) & 0x0F0F0F0F) ');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10714,28,' 255)\n#define  BX_(x)\t\t((x) - (((x)>>1)&0x77777777)\t\t\t\\\n\t\t\t     - (((x)>>2)&0x33333333)\t\t\t\\\n\t\t\t     - (((x)>>3)&0x11111111))\n\n\t\t-- really weird C code to count the number of bits in a word\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10715,28,'\n(defun NF (a c)\n  (cond ((null c) () )\n\t((atom (car c))\n\t  (append (list (eval (list \'getchar (list (car c) \'a) (cadr c))))\n\t\t (nf a (cddr c))))\n\t(t (append (list (implode (nf a (car c)))) (nf a (cdr c))))))\n\n(defun AD (want-job challenging boston-area)\n  (cond \n   ((or (not (equal want-job \'yes))\n\t(not (equal boston-area \'yes))\n\t(lessp challenging 7)) () )\n   (t (append (nf  (get \'ad \'expr)\n\t  \'((caaddr 1 caadr 2 car 1 car 1)\n\t    (car 5 cadadr 9 cadadr 8 cadadr 9 caadr 4 car 2 car 1)\n\t    (car 2 caadr 4)))\n      (list \'851-5071x2661)))))\n;;;     We are an affirmative action employer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10716,28,'\nDeliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10717,28,'\nDid you know that for the price of a 280-Z you can buy two Z-80\'s?\n\t\t-- P.J. Plauger\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10718,28,'\nDifferent all twisty a of in maze are you, passages little.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10719,28,'\nDigital circuits are made from analog parts.\n\t\t-- Don Vonada\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10720,28,'\nDisc space -- the final frontier!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10721,28,'\nDISCLAIMER:\nUse of this advanced computing technology does not imply an endorsement\nof Western industrial civilization.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10722,28,'\nDisclaimer: \"These opinions are my own, though for a small fee they be\nyours too.\"\n\t\t-- Dave Haynie\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10723,28,'\nDisk crisis, please clean up!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10724,28,'\nDisks travel in packs.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10725,28,'\nDisraeli was pretty close: actually, there are Lies, Damn lies, Statistics,\nBenchmarks, and Delivery dates.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10726,28,'\nDo not meddle in the affairs of troff, for it is subtle and quick to anger.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10727,28,'\nDo not simplify the design of a program if a way can be found to make\nit complex and wonderful.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10728,28,'\nDo not use the blue keys on this terminal.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10729,28,'\nDo you guys know what you\'re doing, or are you just hacking?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10730,28,'\n\t*** DO YOU HAVE A RESTLESS URGE TO PROGRAM? ***\nDo you want the instant respect that comes from being able to use technical\nterms that nobody understands?  Do you want to strike fear and loathing into\nthe hearts of DP managers everywhere?  If so, then let the Famous Programmers\'\nSchool lead you on... into the world of professional computer programming.\n\n\t*** IS PROGRAMMING FOR YOU? ***\nProgramming is not for everyone.  But, if you have the desire to learn, we can\nhelp you get started.  All you need is the Famous Programmers\' Course and\nenough money to keep those lessons coming month after month.\n\n\t*** TAKE OUR FREE APTITUDE TEST ***\nTo help determine if you are qualified to be a programmer, take a moment to\ntry this simple test:\n\t(1) Write down the numbers from zero to nine and the first six letters\n\t\tof the alphabet (Hint: 0123456789ABCDEF).\n\t(2) Whose picture is on the back of a twenty-dollar bill?\n\t(3) What is the state capital of Idaho?\nIf you managed to read all three questions without wondering why we asked\nthem, you may have a future as a computer programmer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10731,28,'\nDo you suffer painful elimination?\n\t\t-- Don Knuth, \"Structured Programming with Gotos\"\n\nDo you suffer painful recrimination?\n\t\t-- Nancy Boxer, \"Structured Programming with Come-froms\"\n\nDo you suffer painful illumination?\n\t\t-- Isaac Newton, \"Optics\"\n\nDo you suffer painful hallucination?\n\t\t-- Don Juan, cited by Carlos Casteneda\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10732,28,'\nDocumentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and\nwhen it is bad, it is better than nothing.\n\t\t-- Dick Brandon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10733,28,'\nDocumentation is the castor oil of programming.\nManagers know it must be good because the programmers hate it so much.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10734,28,'\nDoes a good farmer neglect a crop he has planted?\nDoes a good teacher overlook even the most humble student?\nDoes a good father allow a single child to starve?\nDoes a good programmer refuse to maintain his code?\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10735,28,'\nDon\'t compare floating point numbers solely for equality.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10736,28,'\nDon\'t get suckered in by the comments -- they can be terribly misleading.\nDebug only code.\n\t\t-- Dave Storer\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10737,28,'\nDon\'t hit the keys so hard, it hurts.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10738,28,'\nDon\'t sweat it -- it\'s only ones and zeros.\n\t\t-- P. Skelly\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10739,28,'\nDOS Air:\nAll the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it\nuntil it gets in the air, hop on, jump off when it hits the ground again.\nThen they grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop on, et\ncetera.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10740,28,'\nDOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to \nread the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only \ncame in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is \ndivided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed \nseparately.  Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going \nto keep drinking it after it\'s no longer available.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10741,28,'\nDue to lack of disk space, this fortune database has been discontinued.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10742,28,'\nDuring the next two hours, the system will be going up and down several\ntimes, often with lin~po_~{po       ~poz~ppo\\~{ o n~po_~{o[po\t ~y oodsou>#w4k**n~po_~{ol;lkld;f;g;dd;po\\~{o\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10743,28,'\nE Pluribus Unix\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10744,28,'\nEach new user of a new system uncovers a new class of bugs.\n\t\t-- Kernighan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10745,28,'\nEach of these cults correspond to one of the two antagonists in the age of\nReformation.  In the realm of the Apple Macintosh, as in Catholic Europe,\nworshipers peer devoutly into screens filled with \"icons.\"  All is sound and\nimagery and Appledom.  Even words look like decorative filigrees in exotic\ntypefaces.  The greatest icon of all, the inviolable Apple itself, stands in\nthe dominate position at the upper-left corner of the screen.  A central\ncorporate headquarters decrees the form of all rites and practices.\nInfalliable doctrine issues from one executive officer whose selection occurs\nin a sealed boardroom.  Should anyone in his curia question his powers, the\noffender is excommunicated into outer darkness.  The expelled heretic founds\na new company, mutters obscurely of the coming age and the next computer,\nthen disappears into silence, taking his stockholders with him.  The mother\ncompany forbids financial competition as sternly as it stifles ideological\ncompetition; if you want to use computer programs that conform to Apple\'s\northodoxy, you must buy a computer made and sold by Apple itself.\n\t\t-- Edward Mendelson, \"The New Republic\", February 22, 1988\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10746,28,'\n/earth is 98');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10747,28,' full ... please delete anyone you can.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10748,28,'\nEarth is a beta site.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10749,28,'\n/earth: file system full.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10750,28,'\negrep -n \'^[a-z].*\\(\' $ | sort -t\':\' +2.0\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10751,28,'\nEinstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because\nGod is not capricious or arbitrary.  No such faith comforts the software\nengineer.\n\t\t-- Fred Brooks\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10752,28,'\nEqual bytes for women.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10753,28,'\nError in operator: add beer\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10754,28,'\nEstablished technology tends to persist in the face of new technology.\n\t\t-- G. Blaauw, one of the designers of System 360\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10755,28,'\nEudaemonic research proceeded with the casual mania peculiar to this part of\nthe world.  Nude sunbathing on the back deck was combined with phone calls to\nAdvanced Kinetics in Costa Mesa, American Laser Systems in Goleta, Automation\nIndustries in Danbury, Connecticut, Arenberg Ultrasonics in Jamaica Plain,\nMassachusetts, and Hewlett Packard in Sunnyvale, California, where Norman\nPackard\'s cousin, David, presided as chairman of the board. The trick was to\nmake these calls at noon, in the hope that out-to-lunch executives would return\nthem at their own expense.  Eudaemonic Enterprises, for all they knew, might be\na fast-growing computer company branching out of the Silicon Valley.  Sniffing\nthe possibility of high-volume sales, these executives little suspected that\nthey were talking on the other end of the line to a naked physicist crazed\nover roulette.\n\t\t-- Thomas Bass, \"The Eudaemonic Pie\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10756,28,'\n<<<<< EVACUATION ROUTE <<<<<\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10757,28,'\nEven bytes get lonely for a little bit.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10758,28,'\nEver wondered about the origins of the term \"bugs\" as applied to computer\ntechnology?  U.S. Navy Capt. Grace Murray Hopper has firsthand explanation.\nThe 74-year-old captain, who is still on active duty, was a pioneer in \ncomputer technology during World War II.  At the C.W. Post Center of Long\nIsland University, Hopper told a group of Long Island public school adminis-\ntrators that the first computer \"bug\" was a real bug--a moth.  At Harvard\none August night in 1945, Hopper and her associates were working on the\n\"granddaddy\" of modern computers, the Mark I.  \"Things were going badly;\nthere was something wrong in one of the circuits of the long glass-enclosed\ncomputer,\" she said.  \"Finally, someone located the trouble spot and, using\nordinary tweezers, removed the problem, a two-inch moth.  From then on, when\nanything went wrong with a computer, we said it had bugs in it.\"  Hopper\nsaid that when the veracity of her story was questioned recently, \"I referred\nthem to my 1945 log book, now in the collection of the Naval Surface Weapons\nCenter, and they found the remains of that moth taped to the page in\nquestion.\"\n\t\t[actually, the term \"bug\" had even earlier usage in\n\t\tregard to problems with radio hardware.  Ed.]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10759,28,'\n\"Every group has a couple of experts.  And every group has at least one\nidiot.  Thus are balance and harmony (and discord) maintained.  It\'s\nsometimes hard to remember this in the bulk of the flamewars that all\nof the hassle and pain is generally caused by one or two highly-motivated,\ncaustic twits.\"\n\t\t-- Chuq Von Rospach, about Usenet\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10760,28,'\nEvery program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one\ninstruction -- from which, by induction, one can deduce that every\nprogram can be reduced to one instruction which doesn\'t work.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10761,28,'\nEvery program is a part of some other program, and rarely fits.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10762,28,'\nEvery Solidarity center had piles and piles of paper ... everyone was\neating paper and a policeman was at the door.  Now all you have to do is\nbend a disk.\n\t\t-- A member of the outlawed Polish trade union, Solidarity, \n\t\t   commenting on the benefits of using computers in support\n\t\t   of their movement.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10763,28,'\nEverybody needs a little love sometime; stop hacking and fall in love!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10764,28,'\nEveryone can be taught to sculpt: Michelangelo would have had to be\ntaught how ___\b\b\bnot to.  So it is with the great programmers.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10765,28,'\nEvolution is a million line computer program falling into place by accident.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10766,28,'\nExcessive login or logout messages are a sure sign of senility.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10767,28,'\nFACILITY REJECTED 100044200000;\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10768,28,'\nFeeling amorous, she looked under the sheets and cried, \"Oh, no,\nit\'s Microsoft!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10769,28,'\nFellow programmer, greetings!  You are reading a letter which will bring\nyou luck and good fortune.  Just mail (or UUCP) ten copies of this letter\nto ten of your friends.  Before you make the copies, send a chip or\nother bit of hardware, and 100 lines of \'C\' code to the first person on the\nlist given at the bottom of this letter.  Then delete their name and add\nyours to the bottom of the list.\n\nDon\'t break the chain!  Make the copy within 48 hours.  Gerald R. of San\nDiego failed to send out his ten copies and woke the next morning to find\nhis job description changed to \"COBOL programmer.\"  Fred A. of New York sent\nout his ten copies and within a month had enough hardware and software to\nbuild a Cray dedicated to playing Zork.  Martha H. of Chicago laughed at\nthis letter and broke the chain.  Shortly thereafter, a fire broke out in\nher terminal and she now spends her days writing documentation for IBM PC\'s.\n\nDon\'t break the chain!  Send out your ten copies today!\nFor example, if \\thinmskip = 3mu, this makes \\thickmskip = 6mu.  But if\nyou also want to use \\skip12 for horizontal glue, whether in math mode or\nnot, the amount of skipping will be in points (e.g., 6pt).  The rule is\nthat glue in math mode varies with the size only when it is an \\mskip;\nwhen moving between an mskip and ordinary skip, the conversion factor\n1mu=1pt is always used.  The meaning of \'\\mskip\\skip12\' and\n\'\\baselineskip=\\the\\thickmskip\' should be clear.\n\t\t-- Donald Knuth, TeX 82 -- Comparison with TeX80\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10770,28,'\nFly Windows NT:\nAll the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing the chairs\nin the outline of a plane. They all sit down, flap their arms and make jet\nswooshing sounds as if they are flying.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10771,28,'\n\"For that matter, compare your pocket computer with the massive jobs of\na thousand years ago.  Why not, then, the last step of doing away with\ncomputers altogether?\"\n\t\t-- Jehan Shuman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10772,28,'\nFORTH IF HONK THEN\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10773,28,'\nFORTRAN is a good example of a language which is easier to parse\nusing ad hoc techniques.\n\t\t-- D. Gries\n\t\t[What\'s good about it?  Ed.]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10774,28,'\nFORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10775,28,'\nFORTRAN is not a flower but a weed -- it is hardy, occasionally blooms,\nand grows in every computer.\n\t\t-- A.J. Perlis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10776,28,'\nFORTRAN is the language of Powerful Computers.\n\t\t-- Steven Feiner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10777,28,'\nFORTRAN rots the brain.\n\t\t-- John McQuillin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10778,28,'\nFORTRAN, \"the infantile disorder\", by now nearly 20 years old, is hopelessly\ninadequate for whatever computer application you have in mind today: it is\ntoo clumsy, too risky, and too expensive to use.\n\t\t-- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10779,28,'\n[FORTRAN] will persist for some time -- probably for at least the next decade.\n\t\t-- T. Cheatham\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10780,28,'\nFortune suggests uses for YOUR favorite UNIX commands!\n\nTry:\n\t[Where is Jimmy Hoffa?\t\t\t(C shell)\n\t^How did the^sex change operation go?\t(C shell)\n\t\"How would you rate BSD vs. System V?\n\t');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10781,28,'blow\t\t\t\t\t(C shell)\n\t\'thou shalt not mow thy grass at 8am\'\t(C shell)\n\tgot a light?\t\t\t\t(C shell)\n\t!!:Say, what do you think of margarine?\t(C shell)\n\tPATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense\t(Bourne shell)\n\tmake love\n\tmake \"the perfect dry martini\"\n\tman -kisses dog\t\t\t\t(anything up to 4.3BSD)\n\ti=Hoffa ; >$i; $i; rm $i; rm $i\t\t(Bourne shell)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10782,28,'\nFortune suggests uses for YOUR favorite UNIX commands!\n\nTry:\n\tar t \"God\"\n\tdrink < bottle; opener\t\t\t(Bourne Shell)\n\tcat \"food in tin cans\"\t\t\t(all but 4.[23]BSD)\n\tHey UNIX!  Got a match?\t\t\t(V6 or C shell)\n\tmkdir matter; cat > matter\t\t(Bourne Shell)\n\trm God\n\tman: Why did you get a divorce?\t\t(C shell)\n\tdate me\t\t\t\t\t(anything up to 4.3BSD)\n\tmake \"heads or tails of all this\"\n\twho is smart\n\t\t\t\t\t\t(C shell)\n\tIf I had a ) for every dollar of the national debt, what would I have?\n\tsleep with me\t\t\t\t(anything up to 4.3BSD)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10783,28,'\nfortune: cannot execute.  Out of cookies.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10784,28,'\nfortune: cpu time/usefulness ratio too high -- core dumped.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10785,28,'\nfortune: No such file or directory\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10786,28,'\nfortune: not found\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10787,28,'\nFrankly, Scarlett, I don\'t have a fix.\n\t\t-- Rhett Buggler\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10788,28,'\n[From the operation manual for the CI-300 Dot Matrix Line Printer, made\nin Japan]:\n\nThe excellent output machine of MODEL CI-300 as extraordinary DOT MATRIX\nLINE PRINTER, built in two MICRO-PROCESSORs as well as EAROM, is featured by\npermitting wonderful co-existence such as; \"high quality against low cost,\"\n\"diversified functions with compact design,\" \"flexibility in accessibleness\nand durability of approx. 2000,000,00 Dot/Head,\" \"being sophisticated in\nmechanism but possibly agile operating under noises being extremely\nsuppressed\" etc.\n\nAnd as a matter of course, the final goal is just simply to help achieve\n\"super shuttle diplomacy\" between cool data, perhaps earned by HOST\nCOMPUTER, and warm heart of human being.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10789,28,'\nFrom the Pro 350 Pocket Service Guide, p. 49, Step 5 of the\ninstructions on removing an I/O board from the card cage, comes a new\nexperience in sound:\n\n5.  Turn the handle to the right 90 degrees.  The pin-spreading\n    sound is normal for this type of connector.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10790,28,'\nFunction reject.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10791,28,'\nGarbage In -- Gospel Out.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10792,28,'\nGIVE:\tSupport the helpless victims of computer error.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10793,28,'\nGiven its constituency, the only thing I expect to be \"open\" about [the\nOpen Software Foundation] is its mouth.\n\t\t-- John Gilmore\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10794,28,'\nGiving up on assembly language was the apple in our Garden of Eden:  Languages\nwhose use squanders machine cycles are sinful.  The LISP machine now permits\nLISP programmers to abandon bra and fig-leaf.\n\t\t-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10795,28,'\nGo away! Stop bothering me with all your \"compute this ... compute that\"!\nI\'m taking a VAX-NAP.\n\nlogout\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10796,28,'\n//GO.SYSIN DD *, DOODAH, DOODAH\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10797,28,'\nGod is real, unless declared integer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10798,28,'\nGod made machine language; all the rest is the work of man.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10799,28,'\nGood evening, gentlemen.  I am a HAL 9000 computer.  I became operational\nat the HAL plant in Urbana, Illinois, on January 11th, nineteen hundred\nninety-five.  My supervisor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a\nsong.  If you would like, I could sing it for you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10800,28,'\nGrand Master Turing once dreamed that he was a machine.  When he awoke\nhe exclaimed:\n\t\"I don\'t know whether I am Turing dreaming that I am a machine,\n\tor a machine dreaming that I am Turing!\"\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10801,28,'\ngrep me no patterns and I\'ll tell you no lines.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10802,28,'\nHacker\'s Guide To Cooking:\n2 pkg. cream cheese (the mushy white stuff in silver wrappings that doesn\'t\n\treally  come from Philadelphia after all; anyway, about 16 oz.)\n1 tsp. vanilla  extract  (which is more alcohol than vanilla and pretty\n\tstrong so this part you *GOTTA* measure)\n1/4 cup sugar (but honey works fine too)\n8 oz. Cool Whip (the fluffy stuff devoid of nutritional value that you\n\tcan squirt all over your friends and lick off...)\n\"Blend all together until creamy with no lumps.\"  This is where you get to\n\tjoin(1) all the raw data in a big buffer and then filter it through\n\tmerge(1m) with the -thick option, I mean, it starts out ultra lumpy\n\tand icky looking and you have to work hard to mix it.  Try an electric\n\tbeater if you have a cat(1) that can climb wall(1s) to lick it off\n\tthe ceiling(3m).\n\"Pour into a graham cracker crust...\"  Aha, the BUGS section at last.  You\n\tjust happened  to have a GCC sitting around under /etc/food, right?\n\tIf not, don\'t panic(8), merely crumble a rand(3m) handful of innocent\n\tGCs into a suitable tempfile and mix in some melted butter.\n\"...and  refrigerate for an hour.\"  Leave the  recipe\'s  stdout in a fridge\n\tfor 3.6E6 milliseconds while you work on cleaning up stderr, and\n\tby time out your cheesecake will be ready for stdin.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10803,28,'\nHackers are just a migratory lifeform with a tropism for computers.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10804,28,'\nHackers of the world, unite!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10805,28,'\nHacking\'s just another word for nothing left to kludge.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10806,28,'\n/* Halley */\n\n\t(Halley\'s comment.)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10807,28,'\nHappiness is a hard disk.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10808,28,'\nHappiness is twin floppies.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10809,28,'\n\tHardware met Software on the road to Changtse.  Software said: \"You\nare the Yin and I am the Yang.  If we travel together we will become famous\nand earn vast sums of money.\"  And so the pair set forth together, thinking\nto conquer the world.\n\tPresently, they met Firmware, who was dressed in tattered rags, and\nhobbled along propped on a thorny stick.  Firmware said to them: \"The Tao\nlies beyond Yin and Yang.  It is silent and still as a pool of water.  It does\nnot seek fame, therefore nobody knows its presence.  It does not seeks fortune,\nfor it is complete within itself.  It exists beyond space and time.\"\n\tSoftware and Hardware, ashamed, returned to their homes.\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10810,28,'\n\t\"Has anyone had problems with the computer accounts?\"\n\t\"Yes, I don\'t have one.\"\n\t\"Okay, you can send mail to one of the tutors ...\"\n\t\t-- E. D\'Azevedo, Computer Science 372\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10811,28,'\nHas everyone noticed that all the letters of the word \"database\" are\ntyped with the left hand?  Now the layout of the QWERTYUIOP typewriter\nkeyboard was designed, among other things, to facilitate the even use\nof both hands.  It follows, therefore, that writing about databases is\nnot only unnatural, but a lot harder than it appears.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10812,28,'\nHave you reconsidered a computer career?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10813,28,'\nHe\'s like a function -- he returns a value, in the form of his opinion.\nIt\'s up to you to cast it into a void or not.\n\t\t-- Phil Lapsley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10814,28,'\nHEAD CRASH!!  FILES LOST!!\nDetails at 11.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10815,28,'\nHelp me, I\'m a prisoner in a Fortune cookie file!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10816,28,'\nHelp stamp out Mickey-Mouse computer interfaces -- Menus are for Restaurants!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10817,28,'\nHelp!  I\'m trapped in a Chinese computer factory!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10818,28,'\nHelp!  I\'m trapped in a PDP 11/70!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10819,28,'\nHELP!!!! I\'m being held prisoner in /usr/games/lib!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10820,28,'\nHeuristics are bug ridden by definition.  If they didn\'t have bugs,\nthen they\'d be algorithms.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10821,28,'\nHOLY MACRO!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10822,28,'\nHOST SYSTEM NOT RESPONDING, PROBABLY DOWN. DO YOU WANT TO WAIT? (Y/N)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10823,28,'\nHOST SYSTEM RESPONDING, PROBABLY UP...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10824,28,'\nHow can you work when the system\'s so crowded?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10825,28,'\n\"How do I love thee?  My accumulator overflows.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10826,28,'\n\tHow many seconds are there in a year?  If I tell you there  are\n3.155  x  10^7, you won\'t even try to remember it.  On the other hand,\nwho could forget that, to within half a percent, pi seconds is a\nnanocentury.\n\t\t-- Tom Duff, Bell Labs\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10827,28,'\nHow much does it cost to entice a dope-smoking UNIX system guru to Dayton?\n\t\t-- Brian Boyle, UNIX/WORLD\'s First Annual Salary Survey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10828,28,'\nHow much net work could a network work, if a network could net work?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10829,28,'\nHug me now, you mad, impetuous fool!!  \n\tOh wait...\n\t\tI\'m a computer, and you\'re a person.  It would never work out.\n\t\t\tNever mind.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10830,28,'\nI *____\b\b\b\bknew* I had some reason for not logging you off... If I could just\nremember what it was.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10831,28,'\nI am a computer. I am dumber than any human and smarter than any administrator.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10832,28,'\nI am NOMAD!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10833,28,'\nI am not now, nor have I ever been, a member of the demigodic party.\n\t\t-- Dennis Ritchie\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10834,28,'\nI am professionally trained in computer science, which is to say\n(in all seriousness) that I am extremely poorly educated.\n\t\t-- Joseph Weizenbaum, \"Computer Power and Human Reason\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10835,28,'\nI am the wandering glitch -- catch me if you can.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10836,28,'\nI asked the engineer who designed the communication terminal\'s keyboards\nwhy these were not manufactured in a central facility, in view of the\nsmall number needed [1 per month] in his factory.  He explained that this\nwould be contrary to the political concept of local self-sufficiency.\nTherefore, each factory needing keyboards, no matter how few, manufactures\nthem completely, even molding the keypads.\n\t\t-- Isaac Auerbach, IEEE \"Computer\", Nov. 1979\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10837,28,'\nI bet the human brain is a kludge.\n\t\t-- Marvin Minsky\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10838,28,'\nI came, I saw, I deleted all your files.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10839,28,'\nI cannot conceive that anybody will require multiplications at the rate\nof 40,000 or even 4,000 per hour ...\n\t\t-- F. H. Wales (1936)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10840,28,'\nI do not fear computers.  I fear the lack of them.\n\t\t-- Isaac Asimov\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10841,28,'\nI had the rare misfortune of being one of the first people to try and\nimplement a PL/1 compiler.\n\t\t-- T. Cheatham\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10842,28,'\nI have a very small mind and must live with it.\n\t\t-- E. Dijkstra\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10843,28,'\nI have never seen anything fill up a vacuum so fast and still suck.\n\t\t-- Rob Pike, on X.\n\nSteve Jobs said two years ago that X is brain-damaged and it will be\ngone in two years.  He was half right.\n\t\t-- Dennis Ritchie\n\nDennis Ritchie is twice as bright as Steve Jobs, and only half wrong.\n\t\t-- Jim Gettys\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10844,28,'\nI have not yet begun to byte!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10845,28,'\nI have sacrificed time, health, and fortune, in the desire to complete these\nCalculating Engines.  I have also declined several offers of great personal\nadvantage to myself.  But, notwithstanding the sacrifice of these advantages\nfor the purpose of maturing an engine of almost intellectual power, and\nafter expending from my own private fortune a larger sum than the government\nof England has spent on that machine, the execution of which it only\ncommenced, I have received neither an acknowledgement of my labors, not even\nthe offer of those honors or rewards which are allowed to fall within the\nreach of men who devote themselves to purely scientific investigations...\n\tIf the work upon which I have bestowed so much time and thought were\na mere triumph over mechanical difficulties, or simply curious, or if the\nexecution of such engines were of doubtful practicability or utility, some\njustification might be found for the course which has been taken; but I\nventure to assert that no mathematician who has a reputation to lose will\never publicly express an opinion that such a machine would be useless if\nmade, and that no man distinguished as a civil engineer will venture to\ndeclare the construction of such machinery impracticable...\n\tAnd at a period when the progress of physical science is obstructed\nby that exhausting intellectual and manual labor, indispensable for its\nadvancement, which it is the object of the Analytical Engine to relieve, I\nthink the application of machinery in aid of the most complicated and abtruse\ncalculations can no longer be deemed unworthy of the attention of the country.\nIn fact, there is no reason why mental as well as bodily labor should not\nbe economized by the aid of machinery.\n\t\t-- Charles Babbage, \"The Life of a Philosopher\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10846,28,'\nI have travelled the length and breadth of this country, and have talked with\nthe best people in business administration.  I can assure you on the highest\nauthority that data processing is a fad and won\'t last out the year.\n\t\t-- Editor in charge of business books at Prentice-Hall\n\t\t   publishers, responding to Karl V. Karlstrom (a junior \n\t\t   editor who had recommended a manuscript on the new \n\t\t   science of data processing), c. 1957\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10847,28,'\nI haven\'t lost my mind -- it\'s backed up on tape somewhere.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10848,28,'\nI must have slipped a disk -- my pack hurts!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10849,28,'\nI think there\'s a world market for about five computers.\n\t\t-- attr. Thomas J. Watson (Chairman of the Board, IBM), 1943\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10850,28,'\nI went on to test the program in every way I could devise.  I strained\nit to expose its weaknesses.  I ran it for high-mass stars and low-mass\nstars, for stars born exceedingly hot and those born relatively cold.\nI ran it assuming the superfluid currents beneath the crust to be\nabsent -- not because I wanted to know the answer, but because I had\ndeveloped an intuitive feel for the answer in this particular case.\nFinally I got a run in which the computer showed the pulsar\'s\ntemperature to be less than absolute zero.  I had found an error.  I\nchased down the error and fixed it.  Now I had improved the program to\nthe point where it would not run at all.\n\t\t-- George Greenstein, \"Frozen Star: Of Pulsars, Black\n\t\t   Holes and the Fate of Stars\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10851,28,'\nI went to my first computer conference at the New York Hilton about 20\nyears ago.  When somebody there predicted the market for microprocessors\nwould eventually be in the millions, someone else said, \"Where are they\nall going to go? It\'s not like you need a computer in every doorknob!\"\n\nYears later, I went back to the same hotel.  I noticed the room keys had\nbeen replaced by electronic cards you slide into slots in the doors.\n\nThere was a computer in every doorknob.\n\t-- Danny Hillis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10852,28,'\nI wish you humans would leave me alone.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10853,28,'\nI\'m a Lisp variable -- bind me!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10854,28,'\nI\'m all for computer dating, but I wouldn\'t want one to marry my sister.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10855,28,'\nI\'m not even going to *______\b\b\b\b\b\bbother* comparing C to BASIC or FORTRAN.\n\t\t-- L. Zolman, creator of BDS C\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10856,28,'\nI\'m still waiting for the advent of the computer science groupie.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10857,28,'\n\tI\'m sure that VMS is completely documented, I just haven\'t found the\nright manual yet.  I\'ve been working my way through the manuals in the document\nlibrary and I\'m half way through the second cabinet, (3 shelves to go), so I\nshould find what I\'m looking for by mid May.  I hope I can remember what it\nwas by the time I find it.\n\tI had this idea for a new horror film, \"VMS Manuals from Hell\" or maybe\n\"The Paper Chase : IBM vs. DEC\".  It\'s based on Hitchcock\'s \"The Birds\", except\nthat it\'s centered around a programmer who is attacked by a swarm of binder\npages with an index number and the single line \"This page intentionally left\nblank.\"\n\t\t-- Alex Crain\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10858,28,'\nI\'ve finally learned what \"upward compatible\" means.  It means we get to\nkeep all our old mistakes.\n\t\t-- Dennie van Tassel\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10859,28,'\nI\'ve looked at the listing, and it\'s right!\n\t\t-- Joel Halpern\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10860,28,'\nI\'ve never been canoeing before, but I imagine there must be just a few\nsimple heuristics you have to remember...\n\nYes, don\'t fall out, and don\'t hit rocks.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10861,28,'\nI\'ve noticed several design suggestions in your code.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10862,28,'\nIBM Advanced Systems Group -- a bunch of mindless jerks, who\'ll be first\nagainst the wall when the revolution comes...\n\t\t-- with regrets to D. Adams\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10863,28,'\nIf a 6600 used paper tape instead of core memory, it would use up tape\nat about 30 miles/second.\n\t\t-- Grishman, Assembly Language Programming\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10864,28,'\nIf a group of _\bN persons implements a COBOL compiler, there will be _\bN-1\npasses.  Someone in the group has to be the manager.\n\t\t-- T. Cheatham\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10865,28,'\nIf a listener nods his head when you\'re explaining your program, wake him up.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10866,28,'\nIf a train station is a place where a train stops, what\'s a workstation?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10867,28,'\nIf addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever\nto get a \"fix\" of something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude\nthat netnews is far more addictive than cocaine.\n\t\t-- Rob Stampfli\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10868,28,'\nIf at first you don\'t succeed, you must be a programmer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10869,28,'\nIf builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs,\nthen the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10870,28,'\nIf computers take over (which seems to be their natural tendency), it will\nserve us right.\n\t\t-- Alistair Cooke\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10871,28,'\nIf God had a beard, he\'d be a UNIX programmer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10872,28,'\nIf God had intended Man to program, we\'d be born with serial I/O ports.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10873,28,'\nIf graphics hackers are so smart, why can\'t they get the bugs out of\nfresh paint?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10874,28,'\nIf he once again pushes up his sleeves in order to compute for 3 days\nand 3 nights in a row, he will spend a quarter of an hour before to\nthink which principles of computation shall be most appropriate.\n\t\t-- Voltaire, \"Diatribe du docteur Akakia\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10875,28,'\nIf I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the\nshoulders of giants.\n\t\t-- Isaac Newton\n\nIn the sciences, we are now uniquely priviledged to sit side by side with\nthe giants on whose shoulders we stand.\n\t\t-- Gerald Holton\n\nIf I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on\nmy shoulders.\n\t\t-- Hal Abelson\n\nMathematicians stand on each other\'s shoulders.\n\t\t-- Gauss\n\nMathemeticians stand on each other\'s shoulders while computer scientists\nstand on each other\'s toes.\n\t\t-- Richard Hamming\n\nIt has been said that physicists stand on one another\'s shoulders.  If\nthis is the case, then programmers stand on one another\'s toes, and\nsoftware engineers dig each other\'s graves.\n\t\t-- Unknown\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10876,28,'\nIf I\'d known computer science was going to be like this, I\'d never have\ngiven up being a rock \'n\' roll star.\n\t\t-- G. Hirst\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10877,28,'\nIf it happens once, it\'s a bug.\nIf it happens twice, it\'s a feature.\nIf it happens more than twice, it\'s a design philosophy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10878,28,'\nIf it has syntax, it isn\'t user friendly.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10879,28,'\nIf it\'s not in the computer, it doesn\'t exist.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10880,28,'\nIf it\'s worth hacking on well, it\'s worth hacking on for money.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10881,28,'\nIf just one piece of mail gets lost, well, they\'ll just think they forgot\nto send it.  But if *two* pieces of mail get lost, hell, they\'ll just think\nthe other guy hasn\'t gotten around to answering his mail.  And if *fifty*\npieces of mail get lost, can you imagine it, if *fifty* pieces of mail get\nlost, why they\'ll think someone *else* is broken!  And if 1Gb of mail gets\nlost, they\'ll just *know* that Arpa [ucbarpa.berkeley.edu] is down and\nthink it\'s a conspiracy to keep them from their God given right to receive\nNet Mail ...\n \t\t-- Casey Leedom\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10882,28,'\nIf Machiavelli were a hacker, he\'d have worked for the CSSG.\n\t\t-- Phil Lapsley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10883,28,'\nIf Machiavelli were a programmer, he\'d have worked for AT&T.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10884,28,'\n\"If that makes any sense to you, you have a big problem.\"\n\t\t-- C. Durance, Computer Science 234\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10885,28,'\nIf the automobile had followed the same development as the computer, a\nRolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per per gallon,\nand explode once a year killing everyone inside.\n\t\t-- Robert Cringely, InfoWorld\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10886,28,'\nIf the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.\n\t\t-- Norm Schryer\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10887,28,'\nIf the designers of X-window built cars, there would be no fewer than five\nsteering wheels hidden about the cockpit, none of which followed the same\nprinicples -- but you\'d be able to shift gears with your car stereo.  Useful\nfeature, that.\n\t\t-- From the programming notebooks of a heretic, 1990.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10888,28,'\n\tIf the Tao is great, then the operating system is great.  If the\noperating system is great, then the compiler is great.  If the compiler\nis great, then the application is great.  If the application is great, then\nthe user is pleased and there is harmony in the world.\n\tThe Tao gave birth to machine language.  Machine language gave birth\nto the assembler.\n\tThe assembler gave birth to the compiler.  Now there are ten thousand\nlanguages.\n\tEach language has its purpose, however humble.  Each language\nexpresses the Yin and Yang of software.  Each language has its place within\nthe Tao.\n\tBut do not program in COBOL if you can avoid it.\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10889,28,'\nIf the vendors started doing everything right, we would be out of a job.\nLet\'s hear it for OSI and X!  With those babies in the wings, we can count\non being employed until we drop, or get smart and switch to gardening,\npaper folding, or something.\n\t\t-- C. Philip Wood\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10890,28,'\nIf this is timesharing, give me my share right now.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10891,28,'\nIf you ever want to have a lot of fun, I recommend that you go off and program\nan imbedded system.  The salient characteristic of an imbedded system is that\nit cannot be allowed to get into a state from which only direct intervention\nwill suffice to remove it.  An imbedded system can\'t permanently trust anything\nit hears from the outside world.  It must sniff around, adapt, consider, sniff\naround, and adapt again.  I\'m not talking about ordinary modular programming\ncarefulness here.  No.  Programming an imbedded system calls for undiluted\nraging maniacal paranoia.  For example, our ethernet front ends need to know\nwhat network number they are on so that they can address and route PUPs\nproperly.  How do you find out what your network number is?  Easy, you ask a\ngateway.  Gateways are required by definition to know their correct network\nnumbers.  Once you\'ve got your network number, you start using it and before\nyou can blink you\'ve got it wired into fifteen different sockets spread all\nover creation.  Now what happens when the panic-stricken operator realizes he\nwas running the wrong version of the gateway which was giving out the wrong\nnetwork number?  Never supposed to happen.  Tough.  Supposing that your\nsoftware discovers that the gateway is now giving out a different network\nnumber than before, what\'s it supposed to do about it?  This is not discussed\nin the protocol document.  Never supposed to happen.  Tough.  I think you \nget my drift.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10892,28,'\nIf you have a procedure with 10 parameters, you probably missed some.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10893,28,'\nIf you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out but tomfoolery.\nBut this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine,\nis somehow enobled and no-one dare criticise it.\n\t\t-- Pierre Gallois\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10894,28,'\nIf you teach your children to like computers and to know how to gamble\nthen they\'ll always be interested in something and won\'t come to no real harm.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10895,28,'\nIf you think the system is working, ask someone who\'s waiting for a prompt.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10896,28,'\nIf you\'re crossing the nation in a covered wagon, it\'s better to have four\nstrong oxen than 100 chickens.  Chickens are OK but we can\'t make them work\ntogether yet.\n\t\t-- Ross Bott, Pyramid U.S., on multiprocessors at AUUGM \'89.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10897,28,'\nIgnorance is bliss.\n\t\t-- Thomas Gray\n\nFortune updates the great quotes, #42:\n\tBLISS is ignorance.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10898,28,'\nImagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual\nway.  This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of\ncomplaining.\n\t\t-- Jeff Raskin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10899,28,'\nImagine that Cray computer decides to make a personal computer.  It has\na 150 MHz processor, 200 megabytes of RAM, 1500 megabytes of disk\nstorage, a screen resolution of 4096 x 4096 pixels, relies entirely on\nvoice recognition for input, fits in your shirt pocket and costs $300.\nWhat\'s the first question that the computer community asks?\n\n\"Is it PC compatible?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10900,28,'\n**** IMPORTANT ****  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE ****\n\nDue to a recent systems overload error your recent disk files have been\nerased.  Therefore, in accordance with the UNIX Basic Manual, University of\nWashington Geophysics Manual, and Bylaw 9(c), Section XII of the Revised\nFederal Communications Act, you are being granted Temporary Disk Space,\nvalid for three months from this date, subject to the restrictions set forth\nin Appendix II of the Federal Communications Handbook (18th edition) as well\nas the references mentioned herein.  You may apply for more disk space at any\ntime.  Disk usage in or above the eighth percentile will secure the removal\nof all restrictions and you will immediately receive your permanent disk\nspace.  Disk usage in the sixth or seventh percentile will not effect the\nvalidity of your temporary disk space, though its expiration date may be\nextended for a period of up to three months.  A score in the fifth percentile\nor below will result in the withdrawal of your Temporary Disk space.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10901,28,'\nIn a display of perverse brilliance, Carl the repairman mistakes a room\nhumidifier for a mid-range computer but manages to tie it into the network\nanyway.\n\t\t-- The 5th Wave\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10902,28,'\nIn a five year period we can get one superb programming language.  Only\nwe can\'t control when the five year period will begin.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10903,28,'\nIn a surprise raid last night, federal agents ransacked a house in search\nof a rebel computer hacker.  However, they were unable to complete the arrest\nbecause the warrant was made out in the name of Don Provan, while the only\nperson in the house was named don provan.  Proving, once again, that Unix is\nsuperior to Tops10.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10904,28,'\nIn any formula, constants (especially those obtained from handbooks)\nare to be treated as variables.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10905,28,'\nIn any problem, if you find yourself doing an infinite amount of work,\nthe answer may be obtained by inspection.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10906,28,'\nIn computing, the mean time to failure keeps getting shorter.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10907,28,'\nIn English, every word can be verbed.  Would that it were so in our\nprogramming languages.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10908,28,'\nIn every non-trivial program there is at least one bug.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10909,28,'\nIn fact, S. M. Simpson, eventually devised an efficient 24-point Fourier\ntransform, which was a precursor to the Cooley-Tukey fast Fourier transform\nin 1965.  The FFT made all of Simpson\'s efficient autocorrelation and\nspectrum programs instantly obsolete, on which he had worked half a lifetime.\n\t\t-- Proc. IEEE, Sept. 1982, p.900\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10910,28,'\nIn less than a century, computers will be making substantial progress on\n... the overriding problem of war and peace.\n\t\t-- James Slagle\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10911,28,'\nIn practice, failures in system development, like unemployment in Russia,\nhappens a lot despite official propaganda to the contrary.\n\t\t-- Paul Licker\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10912,28,'\nIn seeking the unattainable, simplicity only gets in the way.\n\t\t-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10913,28,'\n\tIn the beginning there was data.  The data was without form and\nnull, and darkness was upon the face of the console; and the Spirit of\nIBM was moving over the face of the market.  And DEC said, \"Let there\nbe registers\"; and there were registers.  And DEC saw that they\ncarried; and DEC separated the data from the instructions.  DEC called\nthe data Stack, and the instructions they called Code.  And there was\nevening and there was morning, one interrupt.\n\t\t-- Rico Tudor, \"The Story of Creation or, The Myth of Urk\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10914,28,'\n\tIn the beginning was the Tao.  The Tao gave birth to Space and Time.\nTherefore, Space and Time are the Yin and Yang of programming.\n\n\tProgrammers that do not comprehend the Tao are always running out of\ntime and space for their programs.  Programmers that comprehend the Tao always\nhave enough time and space to accomplish their goals.\n\tHow could it be otherwise?\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10915,28,'\n\tIn the days when Sussman was a novice Minsky once came to him as he\nsat hacking at the PDP-6.\n\t\"What are you doing?\", asked Minsky.\n\t\"I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe.\"\n\t\"Why is the net wired randomly?\", inquired Minsky.\n\t\"I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play\".\n\tAt this Minsky shut his eyes, and Sussman asked his teacher \"Why do\nyou close your eyes?\"\n\t\"So that the room will be empty.\"\n\tAt that momment, Sussman was enlightened.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10916,28,'\n\tIn the east there is a shark which is larger than all other fish.  It\nchanges into a bird whose winds are like clouds filling the sky.  When this\nbird moves across the land, it brings a message from Corporate Headquarters.\nThis message it drops into the midst of the program mers, like a seagull\nmaking its mark upon the beach.  Then the bird mounts on the wind and, with\nthe blue sky at its back, returns home.\n\tThe novice programmer stares in wonder at the bird, for he understands\nit not.  The average programmer dreads the coming of the bird, for he fears\nits message.  The master programmer continues to work at his terminal, for he\ndoes not know that the bird has come and gone.\n\t\t-- Geoffrey James, \"The Tao of Programming\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10917,28,'\nIn the future, you\'re going to get computers as prizes in breakfast cereals.\nYou\'ll throw them out because your house will be littered with them.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10918,28,'\nIn the long run, every program becomes rococco, and then rubble.\n\t\t-- Alan Perlis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10919,28,'\n... in three to eight years we will have a machine with the general\nintelligence of an average human being ... The machine will begin\nto educate itself with fantastic speed.  In a few months it will be\nat genius level and a few months after that its powers will be\nincalculable ...\n\t\t-- Marvin Minsky, LIFE Magazine, November 20, 1970\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10920,28,'\nIntel CPUs are not defective, they just act that way.\n\t\t-- Henry Spencer\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10921,28,'\n>>> Internal error in fortune program:\n>>>\tfnum=2987  n=45  flag=1  goose_level=-232323\n>>> Please write down these values and notify fortune program administrator.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10922,28,'\nIntroducing, the 1010, a one-bit processor.\n\nINSTRUCTION SET\n\tCode\tMnemonic\tWhat\n\t0\tNOP\t\tNo Operation\n\t1\tJMP\t\tJump (address specified by next 2 bits)\n\nNow Available for only 12 1/2 cents!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10923,28,'\nIOT trap -- core dumped\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10924,28,'\nIs a computer language with goto\'s totally Wirth-less?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10925,28,'\nIs it possible that software is not like anything else, that it is meant to\nbe discarded:  that the whole point is to always see it as a soap bubble?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10926,28,'\n: is not an identifier\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10927,28,'\nIs your job running?  You\'d better go catch it!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10928,28,'\n\tIt appears that after his death, Albert Einstein found himself\nworking as the doorkeeper at the Pearly Gates.  One slow day, he\nfound that he had time to chat with the new entrants.  To the first one\nhe asked, \"What\'s your IQ?\"  The new arrival replied, \"190\".  They\ndiscussed Einstein\'s theory of relativity for hours.  When the second\nnew arrival came, Einstein once again inquired as to the newcomer\'s\nIQ.  The answer this time came \"120\".  To which Einstein replied, \"Tell\nme, how did the Cubs do this year?\" and they proceeded to talk for half\nan hour or so.  To the final arrival, Einstein once again posed the\nquestion, \"What\'s your IQ?\".  Upon receiving the answer \"70\",\nEinstein smiled and replied, \"Got a minute to tell me about VMS 4.0?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10929,28,'\nIt appears that PL/I (and its dialects) is, or will be, the most widely\nused higher level language for systems programming.\n\t\t-- J. Sammet\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10930,28,'\n\tIt is a period of system war.  User programs, striking from a hidden\ndirectory, have won their first victory against the evil Administrative Empire.\nDuring the battle, User spies managed to steal secret source code to the\nEmpire\'s ultimate program: the Are-Em Star, a privileged root program with\nenough power to destroy an entire file structure.  Pursued by the Empire\'s\nsinister audit trail, Princess _LPA0 races ~ aboard her shell script,\ncustodian of the stolen listings that could save her people, and restore\nfreedom and games to the network...\n\t\t-- DECWARS\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10931,28,'\nIt is a very humbling experience to make a multimillion-dollar mistake, but\nit is also very memorable.  I vividly recall the night we decided how to\norganize the actual writing of external specifications for OS/360.  The\nmanager of architecture, the manager of control program implementation, and\nI were threshing out the plan, schedule, and division of responsibilities.\n\tThe architecture manager had 10 good men.  He asserted that they\ncould write the specifications and do it right.  It would take ten months,\nthree more than the schedule allowed.\n\tThe control program manager had 150 men.  He asserted that they\ncould prepare the specifications, with the architecture team coordinating;\nit would be well-done and practical, and he could do it on schedule.\nFuthermore, if the architecture team did it, his 150 men would sit twiddling\ntheir thumbs for ten months.\n\tTo this the architecture manager responded that if I gave the control\nprogram team the responsibility, the result would not in fact be on time,\nbut would also be three months late, and of much lower quality.  I did, and\nit was.  He was right on both counts.  Moreover, the lack of conceptual\nintegrity made the system far more costly to build and change, and I would\nestimate that it added a year to debugging time.\n\t\t-- Frederick Brooks Jr., \"The Mythical Man Month\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10932,28,'\nIt is against the grain of modern education to teach children to program.\nWhat fun is there in making plans, acquiring discipline in organizing\nthoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be self-critical?\n\t\t-- Alan Perlis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10933,28,'\nIt is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10934,28,'\nIt is easier to write an incorrect program than understand a correct one.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10935,28,'\n... it is easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of them by the\nsense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all.  In other\nwords... their fundamental design flaws are completely hidden by their\nsuperficial design flaws.\n\t-- The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy, on the products\n           of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10936,28,'\nIt is now pitch dark.  If you proceed, you will likely fall into a pit.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10937,28,'\nIt is possible by ingenuity and at the expense of clarity... {to do almost\nanything in any language}.  However, the fact that it is possible to push\na pea up a mountain with your nose does not mean that this is a sensible\nway of getting it there.  Each of these techniques of language extension\nshould be used in its proper place.\n\t\t-- Christopher Strachey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10938,28,'\nIt is practically impossible to teach good programming style to students\nthat have had prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are\nmentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.\n\t\t-- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10939,28,'\n[It is] best to confuse only one issue at a time.\n\t\t-- K&R\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10940,28,'\nIt isn\'t easy being the parent of a six-year-old.  However, it\'s a pretty small\nprice to pay for having somebody around the house who understands computers.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10941,28,'\nIt must be remembered that there is nothing more difficult to plan, more\ndoubtful of success, nor more dangerous to manage, than the creation of\na new system.  For the initiator has the emnity of all who would profit\nby the preservation of the old institutions and merely lukewarm defenders\nin those who would gain by the new ones.\n\t\t-- Niccolo Machiavelli, 1513\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10942,28,'\n\"It runs like _\bx, where _\bx is something unsavory\"\n\t\t-- Prof. Romas Aleliunas, CS 435\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10943,28,'\n\tIt took 300 years to build and by the time it was 10');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10944,28,' built,\neveryone knew it would be a total disaster. But by then the investment\nwas so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it has\ncost a fortune to maintain and is still in danger of collapsing.\n\tThere are at present no plans to replace it, since it was never\nreally needed in the first place.\n\tI expect every installation has its own pet software which is\nanalogous to the above.\n\t\t-- K.E. Iverson, on the Leaning Tower of Pisa\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10945,28,'\nIt turned out that the worm exploited three or four different holes in the\nsystem.  From this, and the fact that we were able to capture and examine\nsome of the source code, we realized that we were dealing with someone very\nsharp, probably not someone here on campus.\n\t\t-- Dr. Richard LeBlanc, associate professor of ICS, in\n\t\t   Georgia Tech\'s campus newspaper after the Internet worm.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10946,28,'\nIt was kinda like stuffing the wrong card in a computer, when you\'re\nstickin\' those artificial stimulants in your arm.\n\t\t-- Dion, noted computer scientist\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10947,28,'\nIt\'s a naive, domestic operating system without any breeding, but I\nthink you\'ll be amused by its presumption.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10948,28,'\nIt\'s multiple choice time...\n\n\tWhat is FORTRAN?\n\n\ta: Between thre and fiv tran.\n\tb: What two computers engage in before they interface.\n\tc: Ridiculous.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10949,28,'\n\"It\'s not just a computer -- it\'s your ass.\"\n\t\t-- Cal Keegan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10950,28,'\nIt\'s ten o\'clock; do you know where your processes are?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10951,28,'\n... Jesus cried with a loud voice: Lazarus, come forth; the bug hath been\nfound and thy program runneth.  And he that was dead came forth...\n\t\t-- John 11:43-44 [version 2.0?]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10952,28,'\nJust about every computer on the market today runs Unix, except the Mac\n(and nobody cares about it).\n\t\t-- Bill Joy 6/21/85\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10953,28,'\nJust go with the flow control, roll with the crunches, and, when you get\na prompt, type like hell.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10954,28,'\nKeep the number of passes in a compiler to a minimum.\n\t\t-- D. Gries\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10955,28,'\nKiss your keyboard goodbye!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10956,28,'\nKnow Thy User.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10957,28,'\n((lambda (foo) (bar foo)) (baz))\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10958,28,'\n`Lasu\' Releases SAG 0.3 -- Freeware Book Takes Paves For New World Order\nby staff writers\n\n\t...\n\tThe central Superhighway site called ``sunsite.unc.edu\'\'\ncollapsed in the morning before the release.  News about the release had\nbeen leaked by a German hacker group, Harmonious Hardware Hackers, who\nhad cracked into the author\'s computer earlier in the week.  They had\ngot the release date wrong by one day, and caused dozens of eager fans\nto connect to the sunsite computer at the wrong time.  ``No computer can\nhandle that kind of stress,\'\' explained the mourning sunsite manager,\nErik Troan.  ``The spinning disks made the whole computer jump, and\nfinally it crashed through the floor to the basement.\'\'  Luckily,\nrepairs were swift and the computer was working again the same evening.\n``Thank God we were able to buy enough needles and thread and patch it\ntogether without major problems.\'\'  The site has also installed a new\nthrottle on the network pipe, allowing at most four clients at the same\ntime, thus making a new crash less likely.  ``The book is now in our\nIncoming folder\'\', says Troan, ``and you\'re all welcome to come and get it.\'\'\n\t\t-- Lars Wirzenius <wirzeniu@cs.helsinki.fi>\n\t\t   [comp.os.linux.announce]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10959,28,'\n`Lasu\' Releases SAG 0.3 -- Freeware Book Takes Paves For New World Order\nby staff writers\n\n\t...\n\tThe SAG is one of the major products developed via the Information\nSuperhighway, the brain child of Al Gore, US Vice President.  The ISHW\nis being developed with massive govenment funding, since studies show\nthat it already has more than four hundred users, three years before\nthe first prototypes are ready.  Asked whether he was worried about the\nforeign influence in an expensive American Dream, the vice president\nsaid, ``Finland?  Oh, we\'ve already bought them, but we haven\'t told\nanyone yet.  They\'re great at building model airplanes as well.  And _\bI\ncan spell potato.\'\'  House representatives are not mollified, however,\nwanting to see the terms of the deal first, fearing another Alaska.\n\tRumors about the SAG release have imbalanced the American stock\nmarket for weeks.  Several major publishing houses reached an all time\nlow in the New York Stock Exchange, while publicly competing for the\npublishing agreement with Mr. Wirzenius.  The negotiations did not work\nout, tough.  ``Not enough dough,\'\' says the author, although spokesmen\nat both Prentice-Hall and Playboy, Inc., claim the author was incapable\nof expressing his wishes in a coherent form during face to face talks,\npreferring to communicate via e-mail.  ``He kept muttering something\nabout jiffies and pegs,\'\' they say.\n\t...\n\t\t-- Lars Wirzenius <wirzeniu@cs.helsinki.fi>\n\t\t   [comp.os.linux.announce]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10960,28,'\n`Lasu\' Releases SAG 0.3 -- Freeware Book Takes Paves For New World Order\nby staff writers\n\nHelsinki, Finland, August 6, 1995 -- In a surprise movement, Lars\n``Lasu\'\' Wirzenius today released the 0.3 edition of the ``Linux System\nAdministrators\' Guide\'\'.  Already an industry non-classic, the new\nversion sports such overwhelming features as an overview of a Linux\nsystem, a completely new climbing session in a tree, and a list of\nacknowledgements in the introduction.\n\tThe SAG, as the book is affectionately called, is one of the\ncorner stones of the Linux Documentation Project.  ``We at the LDP feel\nthat we wouldn\'t be able to produce anything at all, that all our work\nwould be futile, if it weren\'t for the SAG,\'\' says Matt Welsh, director\nof LDP, Inc.\n\tThe new version is still distributed freely, now even with a\ncopyright that allows modification.  ``More dough,\'\' explains the author.\nDespite insistent rumors about blatant commercialization, the SAG will\nprobably remain free.  ``Even more dough,\'\' promises the author.\n\tThe author refuses to comment on Windows NT and Windows 96\nversions, claiming not to understand what the question is about.\nIndustry gossip, however, tells that Bill Gates, co-founder and CEO of\nMicrosoft, producer of the Windows series of video games, has visited\nHelsinki several times this year.  Despite of this, Linus Torvalds,\nauthor of the word processor Linux with which the SAG was written, is\nnot worried.  ``We\'ll have world domination real soon now, anyway,\'\' he\nexplains, ``for 1.4 at the lastest.\'\'\n\t...\n\t\t-- Lars Wirzenius <wirzeniu@cs.helsinki.fi>\n\t\t   [comp.os.linux.announce]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10961,28,'\nLet the machine do the dirty work.\n\t\t-- \"Elements of Programming Style\", Kernighan and Ritchie\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10962,28,'\nLeveraging always beats prototyping.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10963,28,'\nLife would be so much easier if we could just look at the source code.\n\t-- Dave Olson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10964,28,'\nLike punning, programming is a play on words.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10965,28,'\nLine Printer paper is strongest at the perforations.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10966,28,'\nLisp Users:\nDue to the holiday next Monday, there will be no garbage collection.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10967,28,'\nLittle known fact about Middle Earth: The Hobbits had a very sophisticated\ncomputer network!  It was a Tolkien Ring...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10968,28,'\nLogic doesn\'t apply to the real world.\n\t\t-- Marvin Minsky\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10969,28,'\nLOGO for the Dead\n\nLOGO for the Dead lets you continue your computing activities from\n\"The Other Side.\"\n\nThe package includes a unique telecommunications feature which lets you\nturn your TRS-80 into an electronic Ouija board.  Then, using Logo\'s\ngraphics capabilities, you can work with a friend or relative on this\nside of the Great Beyond to write programs.  The software requires that\nyour body be hardwired to an analog-to-digital converter, which is then\ninterfaced to your computer.  A special terminal (very terminal) program\nlets you talk with the users through Deadnet, an EBBS (Ectoplasmic\nBulletin Board System).\n\nLOGO for the Dead is available for 10 percent of your estate\nfrom NecroSoft inc., 6502 Charnelhouse Blvd., Cleveland, OH 44101.\n\t\t-- \'80 Microcomputing\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10970,28,'\n\tLong ago, in a finite state far away, there lived a JOVIAL\ncharacter named Jack.  Jack and his relations were poor.  Often their\nhash table was bare.  One day Jack\'s parent said to him, \"Our matrices\nare sparse.  You must go to the market to exchange our RAM for some\nBASICs.\"  She compiled a linked list of items to retrieve and passed it\nto him.\n\tSo Jack set out.  But as he was walking along a Hamilton path,\nhe met the traveling salesman.\n\t\"Whither dost thy flow chart take thou?\" prompted the salesman\nin high-level language.\n\t\"I\'m going to the market to exchange this RAM for some chips\nand Apples,\" commented Jack.\n\t\"I have a much better algorithm.  You needn\'t join a queue\nthere; I will swap your RAM for these magic kernels now.\"\n\tJack made the trade, then backtracked to his house.  But when\nhe told his busy-waiting parent of the deal, she became so angry she\nstarted thrashing.\n\t\"Don\'t you even have any artificial intelligence?  All these\nkernels together hardly make up one byte,\" and she popped them out the\nwindow...\n\t\t-- Mark Isaak, \"Jack and the Beanstack\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10971,28,'\nLong computations which yield zero are probably all for naught.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10972,28,'\nLoose bits sink chips.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10973,28,'\nMac Airways:\nThe cashiers, flight attendants and pilots all look the same, feel the same\nand act the same. When asked questions about the flight, they reply that you\ndon\'t want to know, don\'t need to know and would you please return to your\nseat and watch the movie.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10974,28,'\nMac Beer: At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. \ncan. Considered by many to be a \"light\" beer. All the cans look \nidentical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The \ningredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the \ningredients, you are told that \"you don\'t need to know.\" A notice on the \nside reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10975,28,'\nMAC user\'s dynamic debugging list evaluator?  Never heard of that.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10976,28,'\n\t\"Mach was the greatest intellectual fraud in the last ten years.\"\n\t\"What about X?\"\n\t\"I said `intellectual\'.\"\n\t\t;login, 9/1990\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10977,28,'\nMachines certainly can solve problems, store information, correlate,\nand play games -- but not with pleasure.\n\t\t-- Leo Rosten\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10978,28,'\nMachines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10979,28,'\nMake sure your code does nothing gracefully.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10980,28,'\nMaking files is easy under the UNIX operating system.  Therefore, users\ntend to create numerous files using large amounts of file space.  It has\nbeen said that the only standard thing about all UNIX systems is the\nmessage-of-the-day telling users to clean up their files.\n\t\t-- System V.2 administrator\'s guide\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10981,28,'\nMan is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft ... and the\nonly one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.\n\t\t-- Wernher von Braun\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10982,28,'\nMany companies that have made themselves dependent on [the equipment of a\ncertain major manufacturer] (and in doing so have sold their soul to the\ndevil) will collapse under the sheer weight of the unmastered complexity of\ntheir data processing systems.\n\t\t-- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10983,28,'\nMany of the convicted thieves Parker has met began their\nlife of crime after taking college Computer Science courses.\n\t\t-- Roger Rapoport, \"Programs for Plunder\", Omni, March 1981\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10984,28,'\nMartin was probably ripping them off.  That\'s some family, isn\'t it?\nIncest, prostitution, fanaticism, software.\n\t\t-- Charles Willeford, \"Miami Blues\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10985,28,'\nMarvelous!  The super-user\'s going to boot me!\nWhat a finely tuned response to the situation!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10986,28,'\n** MAXIMUM TERMINALS ACTIVE.  TRY AGAIN LATER **\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10987,28,'\nMay all your PUSHes be POPped.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10988,28,'\nMay Euell Gibbons eat your only copy of the manual!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10989,28,'\nMay the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10990,28,'\nMaybe Computer Science should be in the College of Theology.\n\t\t-- R. S. Barton\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10991,28,'\nMeantime, in the slums below Ronnie\'s Ranch, Cynthia feels as if some one\nhas made voodoo boxen of her and her favorite backplanes. On this fine\nmoonlit night, some horrible persona has been jabbing away at, dragging\nmagnets over, and surging these voodoo boxen.  Fortunately, they seem to\nhave gotten a bit bored and fallen asleep, for it looks like Cynthia may\nget to go home.  However, she has made note to quickly put together a totem\nof sweaty, sordid static straps, random bits of wire, flecks of once meaniful\noxide, bus grant cards, gummy worms, and some bits of old pdp backplane to\nhang above the machine room.  This totem must be blessed by the old and wise\nvenerable god of unibus at once, before the idolatization of vme, q and pc\nbus drive him to bitter revenge.  Alas, if this fails, and the voodoo boxen\naren\'t destroyed,  there may be more than worms in the apple. Next, the\narrival of voodoo optico transmitigational magneto killer paramecium, capable\nof teleporting from cable to cable, screen to screen, ear to ear and hoof\nto mouth...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10992,28,'\nMemory fault - where am I?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10993,28,'\nMemory fault -- brain fried\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10994,28,'\nMemory fault -- core...uh...um...core... Oh dammit, I forget!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10995,28,'\nMESSAGE ACKNOWLEDGED -- The Pershing II missiles have been launched.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10996,28,'\nMessage from Our Sponsor on ttyTV at 13:58 ...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10997,28,'\nModeling paged and segmented memories is tricky business.\n\t\t-- P.J. Denning\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10998,28,'\nMommy, what happens to your files when you die?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (10999,28,'\nMost public domain software is free, at least at first glance.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (11000,28,'\nMOUNT TAPE U1439 ON B3, NO RING\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (11001,28,'\n\tMr. Jones related an incident from \"some time back\" when IBM Canada\nLtd. of Markham, Ont., ordered some parts from a new supplier in Japan.  The\ncompany noted in its order that acceptable quality allowed for 1.5 per cent\ndefects (a fairly high standard in North America at the time).\n\tThe Japanese sent the order, with a few parts packaged separately in\nplastic. The accompanying letter said: \"We don\'t know why you want 1.5 per\ncent defective parts, but for your convenience, we\'ve packed them separately.\"\n\t\t-- Excerpted from an article in The (Toronto) Globe and Mail\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (11002,28,'\nMSDOS is not dead, it just smells that way.\n\t\t-- Henry Spencer\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (11003,28,'\nMuch of the excitement we get out of our work is that we don\'t really\nknow what we are doing.\n\t\t-- E. Dijkstra\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (11004,28,'\nMultics is security spelled sideways.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (11005,28,'\nMVS Air Lines: \nThe passengers all gather in the hangar, watching hundreds of technicians\ncheck the flight systems on this immense, luxury aircraft. This plane has at\nleast 10 engines and seats over 1,000 passengers; bigger models in the fleet\ncan have more engines than anyone can count and fly even more passengers\nthan there are on Earth. It is claimed to cost less per passenger mile to\noperate these humungous planes than any other aircraft ever built, unless\nyou personally have to pay for the ticket. All the passengers scramble\naboard, as do the 200 technicians needed to keep it from crashing. The pilot\ntakes his place up in the glass cockpit. He guns the engines, only to\nrealise that the plane is too big to get through the hangar doors.\n');
