INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14338,33,'\nTo be happy one must be a) well fed, unhounded by sordid cares, at ease in\nZion, b) full of a comfortable feeling of superiority to the masses of one\'s\nfellow men, and c) delicately and unceasingly amused according to one\'s taste.\nIt is my contention that, if this definition be accepted, there is no country\nin the world wherein a man constituted as I am -- a man of my peculiar\nweaknesses, vanities, appetites, and aversions -- can be so happy as he can\nbe in the United States.  Going further, I lay down the doctrine that it is\na sheer physical impossibility for such a man to live in the United States\nand not be happy.\n\t\t-- H.L. Mencken, \"On Being An American\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14339,33,'\nTo know Edina is to reject it.\n\t\t-- Dudley Riggs, \"The Year the Grinch Stole the Election\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14340,33,'\nToto, I don\'t think we\'re in Kansas anymore.\n\t\t-- Judy Garland, \"Wizard of Oz\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14341,33,'\nTourists -- have some fun with New York\'s hard-boiled cabbies.  When you\nget to your destination, say to your driver, \"Pay?  I was hitch-hiking.\"\n\t\t-- David Letterman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14342,33,'\nTraffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.\n\t\t-- David Letterman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14343,33,'\nTraveling through New England, a motorist stopped for gas in a tiny village.\n\"What\'s this place called?\" he asked the station attendant.\n\t\"All depends,\" the native drawled.  \"Do you mean by them that has\nto live in this dad-blamed, moth-eaten, dust-covered, one-hoss dump, or\nby them that\'s merely enjoying its quaint and picturesque rustic charms\nfor a short spell?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14344,33,'\nVisit beautiful Vergas, Minnesota.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14345,33,'\nVisit beautiful Wisconsin Dells.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14346,33,'\nVisit[1] the beautiful Smoky Mountains!\n\n[1] visit, v.:\n\tCome for a week, spend too much money and pay lots of hidden taxes,\n\tthen leave.  We\'ll be happy to see your money again next year.\n\tYou can save time by simply sending the money, if you\'re too busy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14347,33,'\nWe don\'t care how they do it in New York.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14348,33,'\nWelcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the men are strong, the women are pretty,\nand the children are above-average.\n\t\t-- Garrison Keillor\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14349,33,'\nWhat kind of sordid business are you on now?  I mean, man, whither\ngoest thou?  Whither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car in the night?\n\t\t-- Jack Kerouac\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14350,33,'\nWhatever doesn\'t succeed in two months and a half in California will\nnever succeed.\n\t\t-- Rev. Henry Durant, founder of the University of California\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14351,33,'\nWhen a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.\n\t\t-- Samuel Johnson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14352,33,'\nWhen does summertime come to Minnesota, you ask?  Well, last year, I\nthink it was a Tuesday.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14353,33,'\nWhen I first arrived in this country I had only fifteen cents in my pocket\nand a willingness to compromise.\n\t\t-- Weber cartoon caption\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14354,33,'\nWhen I saw a sign on the freeway that said, \"Los Angeles 445 miles,\" I said\nto myself, \"I\'ve got to get out of this lane.\"\n\t\t-- Franklyn Ajaye\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14355,33,'\nWhen you become used to never being alone, you may consider yourself\nAmericanized.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14356,33,'\nWould the last person to leave Michigan please turn out the lights?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14357,33,'\nYawd [noun, Bostonese]:  the campus of Have Id.\n\t\t-- Webster\'s Unafraid Dictionary\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14358,33,'\nYes, I\'ve now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those\nL-shaped ones.  Unfortunately, it\'s a lower case l.\n\t\t-- Rita Rudner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14359,33,'\nYou always have the option of pitching baseballs at empty spray paint cans\nin a cul-de-sac in a Cleveland suburb.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14360,33,'\nYou don\'t move to Edina, you achieve Edina.\n\t\t-- Guindon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14361,33,'\nYou know you\'re in a small town when...\n\tYou don\'t use turn signals because everybody knows where you\'re going.\n\tYou\'re born on June 13 and your family receives gifts from the local\n\t\tmerchants because you\'re the first baby of the year.\n\tEveryone knows whose credit is good, and whose wife isn\'t.\n\tYou speak to each dog you pass, by name... and he wags his tail.\n\tYou dial the wrong number, and talk for 15 minutes anyway.\n\tYou write a check on the wrong bank and it covers you anyway.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14362,34,'1893 The ideal brain tonic\n1900 Drink Coca-Cola -- delicious and refreshing -- 5 cents at all\n\tsoda fountains\n1905 Is the favorite drink for LADIES when thirsty -- weary -- despondent\n1905 Refreshes the weary, brightens the intellect and clears the brain\n1906 The drink of QUALITY\n1907 Good to the last drop\n1907 It satisfies the thirst and pleases the palate\n1907 Refreshing as a summer breeze.  Delightful as a Dip in the Sea\n1908 The Drink that Cheers but does not inebriate\n1917 There\'s a delicious freshness to the taste of Coca-Cola\n1919 It satisfies thirst\n1919 The taste is the test\n1922 Every glass holds the answer to thirst\n1922 Thirst knows no season\n1925 Enjoy the sociable drink\n\t\t-- Coca-Cola slogans\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14363,34,'\n1925 With a drink so good, \'tis folly to be thirsty\n1929 The high sign of refreshment\n1929 The pause that refreshes\n1930 It had to be good to get where it is\n1932 The drink that makes a pause refreshing\n1935 The pause that brings friends together\n1937 STOP for a pause... GO refreshed\n1938 The best friend thirst ever had\n1939 Thirst stops here\n1942 It\'s the real thing\n1947 Have a Coke\n1961 Zing! what a REFRESHING NEW FEELING\n1963 Things go better with Coke\n1969 Face Uncle Sam with a Coke in your hand\n1979 Have a Coke and a smile\n1982 Coke is it!\n\t\t-- Coca-Cola slogans\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14364,34,'\n\tA couple of kids tried using pickles instead of paddles for a Ping-Pong\ngame.  They had the volley of the Dills.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14365,34,'\n\tA farm in the country side had several turkeys, it was known as the\nhouse of seven gobbles.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14366,34,'\nA gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart that looks at her watch.\n\t\t-- James Beard\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14367,34,'\n\tA new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job.  He\nkept favoring curry.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14368,34,'\nA waist is a terrible thing to mind.\n\t\t-- Ziggy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14369,34,'\n\tA wife started serving chopped meat, Monday hamburger, Tuesday meat\nloaf, Wednesday tartar steak, and Thursday meatballs.  On Friday morning her\nhusband snarled, \"How now, ground cow?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14370,34,'\nActor:\tSo what do you do for a living?\nDoris:\tI work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving\n\tdishes for Chinese restaurants.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen, \"Without Feathers\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14371,34,'\nActually, my goal is to have a sandwich named after me.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14372,34,'\n\t\"And what will you do when you grow up to be as big as me?\"\nasked the father of his little son.\n\t\"Diet.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14373,34,'\nAnything is good if it\'s made of chocolate.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14374,34,'\nAnything that is good and useful is made of chocolate.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14375,34,'\nAs he had feared, his orders had been forgotten and everyone had brought\nthe potato salad.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14376,34,'\nAs with most fine things, chocolate has its season.  There is a simple\nmemory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time\nto order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A,\nE, or U is the proper time for chocolate.\n\t\t-- Sandra Boynton, \"Chocolate: The Consuming Passion\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14377,34,'\nBe careful when you bite into your hamburger.\n\t\t-- Derek Bok\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14378,34,'\nBOO!  We changed Coke again!  BLEAH!  BLEAH! \n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14379,34,'\nBoycott meat -- suck your thumb.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14380,34,'\nCarob works on the principle that, when mixed with the right combination of\nfats and sugar, it can duplicate chocolate in color and texture.  Of course,\nthe same can be said of dirt.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14381,34,'\nCheese -- milk\'s leap toward immortality.\n\t\t-- Clifton Fadiman, \"Any Number Can Play\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14382,34,'\nChinese saying: \"He who speak with forked tongue, not need chopsticks.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14383,34,'\nConsider the following axioms carefully:\n\t\"Everything\'s better when it sits on a Ritz.\"\n\tand\n\t\"Everything\'s better with Blue Bonnet on it.\"\nWhat happens if one spreads Blue Bonnet margarine on a Ritz cracker?  The\nthought is frightening.  Is this how God came into being?  Try not to\nconsider the fact that \"Things go better with Coke\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14384,34,'\nDear Mister Language Person: I am curious about the expression, \"Part of\nthis complete breakfast\".  The way it comes up is, my 5-year-old will be\nwatching TV cartoon shows in the morning, and they\'ll show a commercial for\na children\'s compressed breakfast compound such as \"Froot Loops\" or \"Lucky\nCharms\", and they always show it sitting on a table next to some actual food\nsuch as eggs, and the announcer always says: \"Part of this complete\nbreakfast\".  Don\'t that really mean, \"Adjacent to this complete breakfast\",\nor \"On the same table as this complete breakfast\"?  And couldn\'t they make\nessentially the same claim if, instead of Froot Loops, they put a can of\nshaving cream there, or a dead bat?\n\nAnswer: Yes.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Tips for Writer\'s\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14385,34,'\nDeath before dishonor.  But neither before breakfast.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14386,34,'\nDid you hear that Captain Crunch, Sugar Bear, Tony the Tiger, and\nSnap, Crackle and Pop were all murdered recently...\n\nPolice suspect the work of a cereal killer!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14387,34,'\nDieters live life in the fasting lane.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14388,34,'\nDinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14389,34,'\nDo not drink coffee in early A.M.  It will keep you awake until noon.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14390,34,'\nDo not worry about which side your bread is buttered on: you eat BOTH sides.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14391,34,'\nDo you feel personally responsible for the world food shortage?\nEvery time you go to the beach, does the tide come in?\nHave you ever eaten an entire moose?\nCan you see your neck?\nDo joggers take laps around you for exercise?\nIf so, welcome to National Fat Week.\nThis week we\'ll eat without guilt, and kick off our membership campaign,\n\t...by force-feeding a box of cornstarch to a skinny person.\n\t\t-- Garfield\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14392,34,'\n\tDuring the American Revolution, a Britisher tried to raid a farm.  He\nstumbled across a rock on the ground and fell, whereupon an agressive Rhode\nIsland Red hopped on top.  Seeing this, the farmer commented, \"Chicken catch\na Tory!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14393,34,'\nEat as much as you like -- just don\'t swallow it.\n\t\t-- Harry Secombe\'s diet\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14394,34,'\nEat drink and be merry!  Tommorrow you may be in Utah.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14395,34,'\nEat drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14396,34,'\nEat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14397,34,'\nEat right, stay fit, and die anyway.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14398,34,'\n\"Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you may work.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14399,34,'\nEating chocolate is like being in love without the aggravation.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14400,34,'\nEven a blind pig stumbles upon a few acorns.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14401,34,'\nEven a cabbage may look at a king.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14402,34,'\nEvery time I lose weight, it finds me again!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14403,34,'\nEverything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening.\n\t\t-- Alexander Woollcott\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14404,34,'\nEverything is worth precisely as much as a belch, the difference being\nthat a belch is more satisfying.\n\t\t-- Ingmar Bergman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14405,34,'\nFat Liberation: because a waist is a terrible thing to mind.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14406,34,'\nFat people of the world unite, we\'ve got nothing to lose!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14407,34,'\nFood for thought is no substitute for the real thing.\n\t\t-- Walt Kelly, \"Potluck Pogo\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14408,34,'\nFor those of you who have been unfortunate enough to never have tasted the\n\'Great Chieftain O\' the Pudden Race\' (i.e. haggis) here is an easy to follow\nrecipe which results in a dish remarkably similar to the above mentioned\nprotected species.\n\tIngredients:\n\t  1 Sheep\'s Pluck (heart, lungs, liver) and bag\n\t  2 teacupsful toasted oatmeal\n\t  1 teaspoonful salt\n\t  8 oz. shredded suet\n\t  2 small onions\n\t1/2 teaspoonful black pepper\n    \n\tScrape and clean bag in cold, then warm, water.  Soak in salt water\novernight.  Wash pluck, then boil for 2 hours with windpipe draining over\nthe side of pot.  Retain 1 pint of stock.  Cut off windpipe, remove surplus\ngristle, chop or mince heart and lungs, and grate best part of liver (about\nhalf only).  Parboil and chop onions, mix all together with oatmeal, suet,\nsalt, pepper and stock to moisten.  Pack the mixture into bag, allowing for\nswelling.  Boil for three hours, pricking regularly all over.  If bag not\navailable, steam in greased basin covered by greaseproof paper and cloth for\nfour to five hours.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14409,34,'\nFortune\'s Contribution of the Month to the Animal Rights Debate:\n\n\tI\'ll stay out of animals\' way if they\'ll stay out of mine.\n\t\"Hey you, get off my plate\"\n\t\t-- Roger Midnight\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14410,34,'\nFortune\'s diet truths:\n1:  Forget what the cookbooks say, plain yogurt tastes nothing like sour cream.\n2:  Any recipe calling for soybeans tastes like mud.\n3:  Carob is not an acceptable substitute for chocolate.  In fact, carob is not\n    an acceptable substitute for anything, except, perhaps, brown shoe polish.\n4:  There is no such thing as a \"fun salad.\"  So let\'s stop pretending and see\n    salads for what they are:  God\'s punishment for being fat.\n5:  Fruit salad without maraschino cherries and marshmallows is about as\n    appealing as tepid beer.\n6:  A world lacking gravy is a tragic place!\n7:  You should immediately pass up any recipes entitled \"luscious and\n    low-cal.\"  Also skip dishes featuring \"lively liver.\"  They aren\'t and\n    it isn\'t.\n8:  Wearing a blindfold often makes many diet foods more palatable.\n9:  Fresh fruit is not dessert.  CAKE is dessert!\n10: Okra tastes slightly worse than its name implies.\n11: A plain baked potato isn\'t worth the effort involved in chewing and\n    swallowing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14411,34,'\nGod must have loved calories, she made so many of them.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14412,34,'\nGREAT MOMENTS IN HISTORY (#7):  November 23, 1915\n\nPancake make-up is invented; most people continue to prefer syrup.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14413,34,'\nHas anyone ever tasted an \"end\"?  Are they really bitter?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14414,34,'\n\t\t        Has your family tried \'em?\n\n\t\t\t   POWDERMILK BISCUITS\n\n\t\t Heavens, they\'re tasty and expeditious!\n\n\t    They\'re made from whole wheat, to give shy persons\n\t   the strength to get up and do what needs to be done.\n\n\t\t\t   POWDERMILK BISCUITS\n\n\tBuy them ready-made in the big blue box with the picture of\n\tthe biscuit on the front, or in the brown bag with the dark\n\t\t     stains that indicate freshness.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14415,34,'\nHave a taco.\n\t\t-- P.S. Beagle\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14416,34,'\nHome on the Range was originally written in beef-flat.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14417,34,'\nHors d\'oeuvres -- a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.\n\t\t-- Jack Benny\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14418,34,'\n\t\"How did you spend the weekend?\" asked the pretty brunette secretary\nof her blonde companion.\n\t\"Fishing through the ice,\" she replied.\n\t\"Fishing through the ice?   Whatever for?\"\n\t\"Olives.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14419,34,'\nHow many hors d\'oeuvres you are allowed to take off a tray being carried by\na waiter at a nice party?\n\tTwo, but there are ways around it, depending on the style of the hors\nd\'oeuvre.  If they\'re those little pastry things where you can\'t tell what\'s\ninside, you take one, bite off about two-thirds of it, then say:  \"This is\ncheese!  I hate cheese!\"  Then you put the rest of it back on the tray and\nbite another one and go, \"Darn it!  Another cheese!\" and so on.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"The Stuff of Etiquette\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14420,34,'\nI am so optimistic about beef prices that I\'ve just leased a pot roast\nwith an option to buy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14421,34,'\nI brake for chezlogs!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14422,34,'\nI couldn\'t remember when I had been so disappointed.  Except perhaps the\ntime I found out that M&Ms really DO melt in your hand.\n\t\t-- Peter Oakley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14423,34,'\nI don\'t care for the Sugar Smacks commercial.  I don\'t like the idea of\na frog jumping on my Breakfast.\n\t\t-- Lowell, Chicago Reader 10/15/82\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14424,34,'\nI don\'t care where I sit as long as I get fed.\n\t\t-- Calvin Trillin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14425,34,'\nI don\'t even butter my bread.  I consider that cooking.\n\t\t-- Katherine Cebrian\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14426,34,'\nI don\'t have an eating problem.  I eat.  I get fat.  I buy new clothes.\nNo problem.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14427,34,'\n\"I don\'t like spinach, and I\'m glad I don\'t, because if I liked it I\'d\neat it, and I just hate it.\"\n\t\t-- Clarence Darrow\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14428,34,'\nI have never been one to sacrifice my appetite on the altar of appearance.\n\t\t-- A.M. Readyhough\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14429,34,'\nI have no doubt that it is a part of the destiny of the human race, \nin its gradual improvement, to leave off eating animals.    \n\t\t-- Thoreau\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14430,34,'\nI just ate a whole package of Sweet Tarts and a can of Coke. I think I saw God.\n\t\t-- B. Hathrume Duk\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14431,34,'\nI never met a piece of chocolate I didn\'t like.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14432,34,'\nI never pray before meals -- my mom\'s a good cook.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14433,34,'\n\t\"I thought you were trying to get into shape.\"\n\t\"I am. The shape I\'ve selected is a triangle.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14434,34,'\nI\'m hungry, time to eat lunch.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14435,34,'\nI\'ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I\'ve lost is two weeks.\n\t\t-- Totie Fields\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14436,34,'\nIf at first you fricasee, fry, fry again.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14437,34,'\nIf food be the music of love, eat up, eat up.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14438,34,'\nIf puns were deli meat, this would be the wurst.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14439,34,'\nIf you are what you eat, does that mean Euell Gibbons really was a nut?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14440,34,'\nIf you put your supper dish to your ear you can hear the sounds of a\nrestaurant.\n\t\t-- Snoopy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14441,34,'\nIf you see an onion ring -- answer it!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14442,34,'\nIf you stew apples like cranberries, they taste more like prunes than\nrhubarb does.\n\t\t-- Groucho Marx\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14443,34,'\nIf you waste your time cooking, you\'ll miss the next meal.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14444,34,'\nIf you\'re going to America, bring your own food.\n\t\t-- Fran Lebowitz, \"Social Studies\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14445,34,'\nIf your bread is stale, make toast.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14446,34,'\nIn Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait.\n\t\t-- Josi Simon\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14447,34,'\nIs there life before breakfast?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14448,34,'\nIt is a hard matter, my fellow citizens, to argue with the belly,\nsince it has no ears.\n\t\t-- Marcus Porcius Cato\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14449,34,'\nIT MAKES ME MAD when I go to all the trouble of having Marta cook up about\na hundred drumsticks, then the guy at Marineland says, \"You can\'t throw\nthat chicken to the dolphins. They eat fish.\"\n\nSure they eat fish if that\'s all you give them!  Man, wise up.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14450,34,'\nIt was a brave man that ate the first oyster.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14451,34,'\nIt would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings\nabout toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still\nsafe to eat.\n\t\t-- Robert Fuoss\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14452,34,'\nIt\'s raisins that make Post Raisin Bran so raisiny ...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14453,34,'\nIt\'s so beautifully arranged on the plate -- you know someone\'s fingers\nhave been all over it.\n\t\t-- Julia Child on nouvelle cuisine.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14454,34,'\nJust a few of the perfect excuses for having some strawberry shortcake.\nPick one.\n\n\t (1)\tIt\'s less calories than two pieces of strawberry shortcake.\n\t (2)\tIt\'s cheaper than going to France.\n\t (3)\tIt neutralizes the brownies I had yesterday.\n\t (4)\tLife is short.\n\t (5)\tIt\'s somebody\'s birthday.  I don\'t want them to celebrate alone.\n\t (6)\tIt matches my eyes.\n\t (7)\tWhoever said, \"Let them eat cake.\" must have been talking to me.\n\t (8)\tTo punish myself for eating dessert yesterday.\n\t (9)\tCompensation for all the time I spend in the shower not eating.\n\t(10)\tStrawberry shortcake is evil.  I must help rid the world of it.\n\t(11)\tI\'m getting weak from eating all that healthy stuff.\n\t(12)\tIt\'s the second anniversary of the night I ate plain broccoli.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14455,34,'\nKilling turkeys causes winter.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14456,34,'\nKissing don\'t last, cookery do.\n\t\t-- George Meredith\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14457,34,'\nKitchen activity is highlighted.  Butter up a friend.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14458,34,'\nLast night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up\nthe pillow was gone.\n\t\t-- Tommy Cooper\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14459,34,'\nLast week\'s pet, this week\'s special.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14460,34,'\nLet not the sands of time get in your lunch.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14461,34,'\nLife is like a bowl of soup with hairs floating on it.  You have to\neat it nevertheless.\n\t\t-- Flaubert\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14462,34,'\n\"Life is like a buffet; it\'s not good but there\'s plenty of it.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14463,34,'\nLife is like a tin of sardines.  We\'re, all of us, looking for the key.\n\t\t-- Beyond the Fringe\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14464,34,'\nLife is like an egg stain on your chin -- you can lick it, but it still\nwon\'t go away.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14465,34,'\nLife is like an onion: you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes\nyou weep.\n\t\t-- Carl Sandburg\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14466,34,'\nLife is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer and then you find\nthere is nothing in it.\n\t\t-- James Huneker\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14467,34,'\nLife is too short to stuff a mushroom.\n\t\t-- Storm Jameson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14468,34,'\nLife without caffeine is stimulating enough.\n\t\t-- Sanka Ad\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14469,34,'\nLiving here in Rio, I have lots of coffees to choose from.  And when\nyou\'re on the lam like me, you appreciate a good cup of coffee.\n\t\t-- \"Great Train Robber\" Ronald Biggs\' coffee commercial\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14470,34,'\nLobster:\n\tEveryone loves these delectable crustaceans, but many cooks are\nsqueamish about placing them into boiling water alive, which is the only\nproper method of preparing them.  Frankly, the easiest way to eliminate your\nguilt is to establish theirs by putting them on trial before they\'re cooked.\nThe fact is, lobsters are among the most ferocious predators on the sea\nfloor, and you\'re helping reduce crime in the reefs.  Grasp the lobster\nbehind the head, look it right in its unmistakably guilty eyestalks and say,\n\"Where were you on the night of the 21st?\", then flourish a picture of a\nscallop or a sole and shout, \"Perhaps this will refresh that crude neural\napparatus you call a memory!\"  The lobster will squirm noticeably.  It may\neven take a swipe at you with one of its claws.  Incorrigible.  Pop it into\nthe pot.  Justice has been served, and shortly you and your friends will\nbe, too.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Cooking: The Art of Using Appliances and\n\t\t   Utensils into Excuses and Apologies\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14471,34,'\nMan who arrives at party two hours late will find he has been beaten\nto the punch.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14472,34,'\nMOCK APPLE PIE (No Apples Needed)\n\n  Pastry to two crust 9-inch pie\t36 RITZ Crackers\n2 cups water\t\t\t\t 2 cups sugar\n2 teaspoons cream of tartar\t\t 2 tablespoons lemon juice\n  Grated rind of one lemon\t\t   Butter or margarine\n  Cinnamon\n\nRoll out bottom crust of pastry and fit into 9-inch pie plate.  Break\nRITZ Crackers coarsely into pastry-lined plate.  Combine water, sugar\nand cream of tartar in saucepan, boil gently for 15 minutes.  Add lemon\njuice and rind.  Cool.  Pour this syrup over Crackers, dot generously\nwith butter or margarine and sprinkle with cinnamon.  Cover with top\ncrust.  Trim and flute edges together.  Cut slits in top crust to let\nsteam escape.  Bake in a hot oven (425 F) 30 to 35 minutes, until crust\nis crisp and golden.  Serve warm.  Cut into 6 to 8 slices.\n\t\t-- Found lurking on a Ritz Crackers box\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14473,34,'\nMost people eat as though they were fattening themselves for market.\n\t\t-- E.W. Howe\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14474,34,'\nMountain Dew and doughnuts...  because breakfast is the most important meal\nof the day.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14475,34,'\nMy doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.  Unless there\nare three other people.\n\t\t-- Orson Welles\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14476,34,'\nMy favorite sandwich is peanut butter, baloney, cheddar cheese, lettuce\nand mayonnaise on toasted bread with catsup on the side.\n\t\t-- Senator Hubert Humphrey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14477,34,'\nMy weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14478,34,'\nNever drink coke in a moving elevator.  The elevator\'s motion coupled with\nthe chemicals in coke produce hallucinations.  People tend to change into\nlizards and attack without warning, and large bats usually fly in the\nwindow.  Additionally, you begin to believe that elevators have windows.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14479,34,'\nNever eat anything bigger than your head.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14480,34,'\nNever eat more than you can lift.\n\t\t-- Miss Piggy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14481,34,'\nNo man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after\neating one peanut.\n\t\t-- Channing Pollock\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14482,34,'\nNothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.\n\t\t-- Charlie Brown\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14483,34,'\nNow that you\'ve read Fortune\'s diet truths, you\'ll be prepared the next\ntime some housewife or boutique-owner-turned-diet-expert appears on TV\nto plug her latest book.  And, if you still feel a twinge of guilt for\neating coffee cake while listening to her exhortations, ask yourself\nthe following questions:\n\n\t(1) Do I dare trust a person who actually considers alfalfa sprouts a\n\t    food?\n\t(2) Was the author\'s sole motive in writing this book to get rich\n\t    exploiting the forlorn hopes of chubby people like me?\n\t(3) Would a longer life be worthwhile if it had to be lived as\n\t    prescribed ... without French-fried onion rings, pizza with\n\t    double cheese, or the occasional Mai-Tai?  (Remember, living\n\t    right doesn\'t really make you live longer, it just *seems* like\n\t    longer.)\n\nThat, and another piece of coffee cake, should do the trick.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14484,34,'\nPeanut Blossoms\n\n4 cups sugar           16 tbsp. milk\n4 cups brown sugar     4 tsp. vanilla\n4 cups shortening      14 cups flour\n8 eggs                 4 tsp. soda\n4 cups peanut butter   4 tsp. salt\n\nShape dough into balls.  Roll in sugar and bake on ungreased cookie\nsheet at 375 F. for 10-12 minutes.  Immediately top each cookie with a\nHershey\'s kiss or star pressing down firmly to crack cookie.  Makes a\nheck of a lot.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14485,34,'\nPete:\tWaiter, this meat is bad.\nWaiter:\tWho told you?\nPete:\tA little swallow.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14486,34,'\nPeter\'s hungry, time to eat lunch.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14487,34,'\nPreserve wildlife -- pickle a squirrel today!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14488,34,'\nPrunes give you a run for your money.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14489,34,'\nPut a pot of chili on the stove to simmer.  Let it simmer.  Meanwhile,\nbroil a good steak.  Eat the steak.  Let the chili simmer.  Ignore it.\n\t\t-- Recipe for chili from Allan Shrivers, former governor\n\t\t   of Texas.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14490,34,'\nPut cats in the coffee and mice in the tea!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14491,34,'\nRemember, DESSERT is spelled with two `s\'s while DESERT is spelled with\none, because EVERYONE wants two desserts, but NO ONE wants two deserts.\n\t\t-- Miss Oglethorp, Gr. 5, PS. 59\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14492,34,'\nRULES OF EATING -- THE BRONX DIETER\'S CREED\n\t(1)  Never eat on an empty stomach.\n\t(2)  Never leave the table hungry.\n\t(3)  When traveling, never leave a country hungry.\n\t(4)  Enjoy your food.\n\t(5)  Enjoy your companion\'s food.\n\t(6)  Really taste your food.  It may take several portions to\n\t     accomplish this, especially if subtly seasoned.\n\t(7)  Really feel your food.  Texture is important.  Compare,\n\t     for example, the texture of a turnip to that of a\n\t     brownie.  Which feels better against your cheeks?\n\t(8)  Never eat between snacks, unless it\'s a meal.\n\t(9)  Don\'t feel you must finish everything on your plate.  You\n\t     can always eat it later.\n\t(10) Avoid any wine with a childproof cap.\n\t(11) Avoid blue food.\n\t\t-- Richard Smith, \"The Bronx Diet\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14493,34,'\nSacred cows make great hamburgers.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14494,34,'\nSave gas, don\'t eat beans.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14495,34,'\nSeeing is deceiving.  It\'s eating that\'s believing.\n\t\t-- James Thurber\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14496,34,'\nSo much food; so little time!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14497,34,'\nSome circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in\nthe milk.\n\t\t-- Thoreau\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14498,34,'\nThe basic menu item, in fact the ONLY menu item, would be a food unit called\nthe \"patty,\" consisting of -- this would be guaranteed in writing -- \"100\npercent animal matter of some kind.\" All patties would be heated up and then\ncooled back down in electronic devices immediately before serving.  The\nBreakfast Patty would be a patty on a bun with lettuce, tomato, onion, egg,\nBa-Ko-Bits, Cheez Whiz, a Special Sauce made by pouring ketchup out of a\nbottle and a little slip of paper stating: \"Inspected by Number 12.\"  The\nLunch or Dinner Patty would be any Breakfast Patties that didn\'t get sold in\nthe morning. The Seafood Lover\'s Patty would be any patties that were\nstarting to emit a serious aroma.  Patties that were too rank even to be\nSeafood Lover\'s Patties would be compressed into wads and sold as \"Nuggets.\"\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"\'Mister Mediocre\' Restaurants\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14499,34,'\nThe black bear used to be one of the most commonly seen large animals\nbecause in Yosemite and Sequoia national parks they lived off of garbage\nand tourist handouts.  This bear has learned to open car doors in\nYosemite, where damage to automobiles caused by bears runs into the tens\nof thousands of dollars a year.  Campaigns to bearproof all garbage\ncontainers in wild areas have been difficult, because as one biologist\nput it, \"There is a considerable overlap between the intelligence levels\nof the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14500,34,'\nThe chicken that clucks the loudest is the one most likely to show up\nat the steam fitters\' picnic.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14501,34,'\nThe cow is nothing but a machine which makes grass fit for us people to eat.\n\t\t-- John McNulty\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14502,34,'\n\t   THE DAILY PLANET\n\n\tSUPERMAN SAVES DESSERT!\n\tPlans to \"Eat it later\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14503,34,'\nThe early bird gets the coffee left over from the night before.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14504,34,'\nThe History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through\nthree distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry, and\nSophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why, and Where phases.  For\ninstance, the first phase is characterized by the question \"How can we eat?\"\nthe second by \"Why do we eat?\" and the third by \"Where shall we have lunch?\".\n\t\t-- Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14505,34,'\nThe Kosher Dill was invented in 1723 by Joe Kosher and Sam Dill.  It is\nthe single most popular pickle variety today, enjoyed throughout the free\nworld by man, woman and child alike.  An astounding 350 billion kosher\ndills are eaten each year, averaging out to almost 1/4 pickle per person\nper day.  New York Times food critic Mimi Sheraton says \"The kosher dill\nreally changed my life.  I used to enjoy eating McDonald\'s hamburgers and\ndrinking Iron City Lite, and then I encountered the kosher dill pickle.\nI realized that there was far more to haute cuisine then I\'d ever imagined.\nAnd now, just look at me.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14506,34,'\nThe men sat sipping their tea in silence.  After a while the klutz said,\n\t\"Life is like a bowl of sour cream.\"\n\t\"Like a bowl of sour cream?\" asked the other.  \"Why?\"\n\t\"How should I know?  What am I, a philosopher?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14507,34,'\nThe most exquisite peak in culinary art is conquered when you do right by a\nham, for a ham, in the very nature of the process it has undergone since last\nit walked on its own feet, combines in its flavor the tang of smoky autumnal\nwoods, the maternal softness of earthy fields delivered of their crop children,\nthe wineyness of a late sun, the intimate kiss of fertilizing rain, and the\nbite of fire.  You must slice it thin, almost as thin as this page you hold\nin your hands.  The making of a ham dinner, like the making of a gentleman,\nstarts a long, long time before the event.\n\t\t-- W.B. Courtney, \"Reflections of Maryland Country Ham\",\n\t\t   from \"Congress Eate It Up\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14508,34,'\nThe most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served\nthe family nothing but leftovers.  The original meal has never been found.\n\t\t-- Calvin Trillin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14509,34,'\n\"The National Association of Theater Concessionaires reported that in\n1986, 60');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14510,34,' of all candy sold in movie theaters was sold to Roger Ebert.\"\n\t\t-- D. Letterman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14511,34,'\nThe number of feet in a yard is directly proportional to the success\nof the barbecue.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14512,34,'\nThe number of licorice gumballs you get out of a gumball machine\nincreases in direct proportion to how much you hate licorice.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14513,34,'\nThe only thing better than love is milk.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14514,34,'\nThe reason it\'s called \"Grape Nuts\" is that it contains \"dextrose\", which is\nalso sometimes called \"grape sugar,\" and also because \"Grape Nuts\" is\ncatchier, in terms of marketing, than \"A Cross Between Gerbil Food and\nGravel,\" which is what it tastes like.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Tips for Writer\'s\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14515,34,'\nThe scene: in a vast, painted desert, a cowboy faces his horse.\n\nCowboy:\t\"Well, you\'ve been a pretty good hoss, I guess.  Hardworkin\'.\n\tNot the fastest critter I ever come acrost, but...\"\n\nHorse:  \"No, stupid, not feed*back*.  I said I wanted a feed*bag*.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14516,34,'\nThe trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later\nyou\'re hungry again.\n\t\t-- George Miller\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14517,34,'\nThe way to a man\'s stomach is through his esophagus.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14518,34,'\nThere are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be\noffered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a\nseries of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of\nfood, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection\nincreases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the\naffection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no\ncircumstances can the food be omitted.\n\t\t-- Miss Manners\' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behaviour\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14519,34,'\nThere are times when truth is stranger than fiction and lunch time is one\nof them.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14520,34,'\nThere are twenty-five people left in the world, and twenty-seven of\nthem are hamburgers.\n\t\t-- Ed Sanders\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14521,34,'\nThere is more simplicity in the man who eats caviar on impulse than in the\nman who eats Grape-Nuts on principle.\n\t\t-- G.K. Chesterton\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14522,34,'\nThere is no sincerer love than the love of food.\n\t\t-- George Bernard Shaw\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14523,34,'\nThere\'s always free cheese in a mousetrap.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14524,34,'\nThere\'s nothing like the face of a kid eating a Hershey bar.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14525,34,'\nThirteen at a table is unlucky only when the hostess has only twelve chops.\n\t\t-- Groucho Marx\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14526,34,'\nThis is Betty Frenel.  I don\'t know who to call but I can\'t reach my\nFood-a-holics partner.  I\'m at Vido\'s on my second pizza with sausage\nand mushroom.  Jim, come and get me!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14527,34,'\nThis is National Non-Dairy Creamer Week.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14528,34,'\n\t... This striving for excellence extends into people\'s personal\nlives as well.  When \'80s people buy something, they buy the best one, as\ndetermined by (1) price and (2) lack of availability. Eighties people buy\nimported dental floss.  They buy gourmet baking soda.  If an \'80s couple\ngoes to a restaurant where they have made a reservation three weeks in\nadvance, and they are informed that their table is available, they stalk\nout immediately, because they know it is not an excellent restaurant.  If\nit were, it would have an enormous crowd of excellence-oriented people\nlike themselves waiting, their beepers going off like crickets in the\nnight.  An excellent restaurant wouldn\'t have a table ready immediately\nfor anybody below the rank of Liza Minnelli.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"In Search of Excellence\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14529,34,'\n\tTo lose weight, eat less; to gain weight, eat more; if you merely\nwish to maintain, do whatever you were doing.\n\tThe Bronx diet is a legitimate system of food therapy showing that\nfood SHOULD be used a crutch and which food could be the most effective in\npromoting spiritual and emotional satisfaction.  For the first time, an\neater could instantly grasp the connection between relieving depression and\nMallomars, and understand why a lover\'s quarrel isn\'t so bad if there\'s a\npint of ice cream nearby.\n\t\t-- Richard Smith, \"The Bronx Diet\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14530,34,'\nTo see the butcher slap the steak, before he laid it on the block,\nand give his knife a sharpening, was to forget breakfast instantly.  It was\nagreeable, too -- it really was -- to see him cut it off, so smooth and juicy.\nThere was nothing savage in the act, although the knife was large and keen;\nit was a piece of art, high art; there was delicacy of touch, clearness of\ntone, skilful handling of the subject, fine shading.  It was the triumph of\nmind over matter; quite.\n\t\t-- Dickens, \"Martin Chuzzlewit\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14531,34,'\nTom\'s hungry, time to eat lunch.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14532,34,'\nToo Late\n\tA large number of turkies [sic] went to San Francisco yesterday by\nthe two o\'clock boats.  If their object in going down was to participate in\nthe Thanksgiving festivities of that city, they would arrive \"the day after\nthe affair,\" and of course be sadly disappointed thereby.\n\t\t-- Sacramento Daily Union, November 29, 1861\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14533,34,'\nTwo peanuts were walking through the New York.  One was assaulted.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14534,34,'\nVegetables are what food eats.\nFruit are vegetables that fool you by tasting good.\nFish are fast moving vegetables.\nMushrooms are what grows on vegetables when food\'s done with them.\n\t\t-- Meat Eater\'s Credo, according to Jim Williams\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14535,34,'\nVegeterians beware!  You are what you eat.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14536,34,'\nWaiter:\t\"Tea or coffee, gentlemen?\"\n1st customer: \"I\'ll have tea.\"\n2nd customer: \"Me, too -- and be sure the glass is clean!\"\n\t(Waiter exits, returns)\nWaiter: \"Two teas.  Which one asked for the clean glass?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14537,34,'\nWake up and smell the coffee.\n\t\t-- Ann Landers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14538,34,'\nWhat foods these morsels be!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14539,34,'\nWhat is food to one, is to others bitter poison.\n\t\t-- Titus Lucretius Carus\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14540,34,'\nWhat is important is food, money and opportunities for scoring off one\'s\nenemies.  Give a man these three things and you won\'t hear much squawking\nout of him.\n\t\t-- Brian O\'Nolan, \"The Best of Myles\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14541,34,'\nWhen a person goes on a diet, the first thing he loses is his temper.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14542,34,'\nWhen all else fails, EAT!!!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14543,34,'\nWhen my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional\ncheese dip.\n\t\t-- Ignatius Reilly\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14544,34,'\n\t\"When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,\" said Piglet at last,\n\"what\'s the first thing you say to yourself?\"\n\t\"What\'s for breakfast?\" said Pooh.  \"What do you say, Piglet?\"\n\t\"I say, I wonder what\'s going to happen exciting today?\" said Piglet.\n\tPooh nodded thoughtfully.  \"It\'s the same thing,\" he said.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14545,34,'\nWhen you\'re dining out and you suspect something\'s wrong, you\'re probably right.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14546,34,'\nWhere do you go to get anorexia?\n\t\t-- Shelley Winters\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14547,34,'\nWhile it may be true that a watched pot never boils, the one you don\'t\nkeep an eye on can make an awful mess of your stove.\n\t\t-- Edward Stevenson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14548,34,'\nWhoever tells a lie cannot be pure in heart -- and only the pure in heart\ncan make a good soup.\n\t\t-- Ludwig Van Beethoven\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14549,34,'\nWhy do so many foods come packaged in plastic?  It\'s quite uncanny.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14550,34,'\nWhy do they call a fast a fast, when it goes so slow?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14551,34,'\nWithout coffee he could not work, or at least he could not have worked in the\nway he did.  In addition to paper and pens, he took with him everywhere as an\nindispensable article of equipment the coffee machine, which was no less\nimportant to him than his table or his white robe.\n\t\t-- Stefan Zweigs, Biography of Balzac\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14552,34,'\nWithout ice cream life and fame are meaningless.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14553,34,'\nYou can always tell the Christmas season is here when you start getting\nincredibly dense, tinfoil-and-ribbon- wrapped lumps in the mail. Fruitcakes\nmake ideal gifts because the Postal Service has been unable to find a way to\ndamage them.  They last forever, largely because nobody ever eats them.  In\nfact, many smart people save the fruitcakes they receive and send them back\nto the original givers the next year; some fruitcakes have been passed back\nand forth for hundreds of years.\n\nThe easiest way to make a fruitcake is to buy a darkish cake, then pound\nsome old, hard fruit into it with a mallet.  Be sure to wear safety glasses.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Simple, Homespun Gifts\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14554,34,'\nYou don\'t sew with a fork, so I see no reason to eat with knitting needles.\n\t\t-- Miss Piggy, on eating Chinese Food\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14555,34,'\nYou first parents of the human race... who ruined yourself for an apple,\nwhat might you have done for a truffled turkey?\n\t\t-- Brillat-savarin, \"Physiologie du Gout\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14556,34,'\nYou know you have a small apartment when Rice Krispies echo.\n\t\t-- S. Rickly Christian\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14557,34,'\nYou know you\'re a little fat if you have stretch marks on your car.\n\t\t-- Cyrus, Chicago Reader 1/22/82\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14558,34,'\nYou must dine in our cafeteria.  You can eat dirt cheap there!!!!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14559,34,'\nYou should tip the waiter $10, minus $2 if he tells you his name, another $2\nif he claims it will be His Pleasure to serve you and another $2 for each\n\"special\" he describes involving confusing terms such as \"shallots,\" and $4\nif the menu contains the word \"fixin\'s.\" In many restaurants, this means the\nwaiter will actually owe you money. If you are traveling with a child aged\nsix months to three years, you should leave an additional amount equal to\ntwice the bill to compensate for the fact that they will have to take the\nbanquette out and burn it because the cracks are wedged solid with gobbets\nmade of partially chewed former restaurant rolls saturated with baby spit.\n\nIn New York, tip the taxicab driver $40 if he does not mention his hemorrhoids.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"The Stuff of Etiquette\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14560,34,'\nYour mind is the part of you that says,\n\t\"Why\'n\'tcha eat that piece of cake?\"\n... and then, twenty minutes later, says,\n\t\"Y\'know, if I were you, I wouldn\'t have done that!\"\n\t\t-- Steven and Ondrea Levine\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14561,35,'A day for firm decisions!!!!!  Or is it?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14562,35,'\nA few hours grace before the madness begins again.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14563,35,'\nA gift of a flower will soon be made to you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14564,35,'\nA long-forgotten loved one will appear soon.\n\nBuy the negatives at any price.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14565,35,'\nA tall, dark stranger will have more fun than you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14566,35,'\nA visit to a fresh place will bring strange work.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14567,35,'\nA visit to a strange place will bring fresh work.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14568,35,'\nA vivid and creative mind characterizes you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14569,35,'\nAbandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14570,35,'\nAccent on helpful side of your nature.  Drain the moat.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14571,35,'\nAdvancement in position.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14572,35,'\nAfter your lover has gone you will still have PEANUT BUTTER!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14573,35,'\nAfternoon very favorable for romance.  Try a single person for a change.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14574,35,'\nAlimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14575,35,'\nAll the troubles you have will pass away very quickly.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14576,35,'\nAmong the lucky, you are the chosen one.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14577,35,'\nAn avocado-tone refrigerator would look good on your resume.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14578,35,'\nAn exotic journey in downtown Newark is in your future.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14579,35,'\nAnother good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14580,35,'\nAre you a turtle?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14581,35,'\nAre you ever going to do the dishes?  Or will you change your major to biology?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14582,35,'\nAre you making all this up as you go along?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14583,35,'\nAre you sure the back door is locked?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14584,35,'\nArtistic ventures highlighted.  Rob a museum.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14585,35,'\nAvert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14586,35,'\nAvoid gunfire in the bathroom tonight.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14587,35,'\nAvoid reality at all costs.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14588,35,'\nBank error in your favor.  Collect $200.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14589,35,'\nBe careful!  Is it classified?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14590,35,'\nBe careful!  UGLY strikes 9 out of 10!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14591,35,'\nBe cautious in your daily affairs.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14592,35,'\nBe cheerful while you are alive.\n\t\t-- Phathotep, 24th Century B.C.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14593,35,'\nBe different: conform.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14594,35,'\nBe free and open and breezy!  Enjoy!  Things won\'t get any better so\nget used to it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14595,35,'\nBe security conscious -- National defense is at stake.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14596,35,'\nBeauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14597,35,'\nBest of all is never to have been born.  Second best is to die soon.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14598,35,'\nBetter hope the life-inspector doesn\'t come around while you have your\nlife in such a mess.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14599,35,'\nBeware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14600,35,'\nBeware of a tall black man with one blond shoe.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14601,35,'\nBeware of a tall blond man with one black shoe.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14602,35,'\nBeware of Bigfoot!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14603,35,'\nBeware of low-flying butterflies.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14604,35,'\nBeware the one behind you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14605,35,'\nBlow it out your ear.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14606,35,'\nBreak into jail and claim police brutality.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14607,35,'\nBridge ahead.  Pay troll.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14608,35,'\nCaution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14609,35,'\nCaution: Keep out of reach of children.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14610,35,'\nCelebrate Hannibal Day this year.  Take an elephant to lunch.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14611,35,'\nChange your thoughts and you change your world.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14612,35,'\nCheer Up!  Things are getting worse at a slower rate.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14613,35,'\nChess tonight.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14614,35,'\nChicken Little only has to be right once.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14615,35,'\nChicken Little was right.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14616,35,'\nCold hands, no gloves.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14617,35,'\nCommunicate!  It can\'t make things any worse.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14618,35,'\nCourage is your greatest present need.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14619,35,'\nDay of inquiry.  You will be subpoenaed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14620,35,'\nDo not overtax your powers.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14621,35,'\nDo not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14622,35,'\nDo nothing unless you must, and when you must act -- hesitate.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14623,35,'\nDo something unusual today.  Pay a bill.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14624,35,'\nDo what comes naturally.  Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14625,35,'\nDomestic happiness and faithful friends.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14626,35,'\nDon\'t feed the bats tonight.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14627,35,'\nDon\'t get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14628,35,'\nDon\'t get to bragging.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14629,35,'\nDon\'t go surfing in South Dakota for a while.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14630,35,'\nDon\'t hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14631,35,'\nDon\'t kiss an elephant on the lips today.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14632,35,'\nDon\'t let your mind wander -- it\'s too little to be let out alone.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14633,35,'\nDon\'t look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14634,35,'\nDon\'t look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14635,35,'\nDon\'t look now, but there is a multi-legged creature on your shoulder.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14636,35,'\nDon\'t plan any hasty moves.  You\'ll be evicted soon anyway.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14637,35,'\nDon\'t read any sky-writing for the next two weeks.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14638,35,'\nDon\'t read everything you believe.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14639,35,'\nDon\'t relax!  It\'s only your tension that\'s holding you together.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14640,35,'\nDon\'t tell any big lies today.  Small ones can be just as effective.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14641,35,'\nDon\'t worry so loud, your roommate can\'t think.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14642,35,'\nDon\'t Worry, Be Happy.\n\t\t-- Meher Baba\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14643,35,'\nDon\'t worry.  Life\'s too long.\n\t\t-- Vincent Sardi, Jr.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14644,35,'\nDon\'t you feel more like you do now than you did when you came in?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14645,35,'\nDon\'t you wish you had more energy... or less ambition?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14646,35,'\nEverything that you know is wrong, but you can be straightened out.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14647,35,'\nEverything will be just tickety-boo today.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14648,35,'\nExcellent day for putting Slinkies on an escalator.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14649,35,'\nExcellent day to have a rotten day.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14650,35,'\nExcellent time to become a missing person.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14651,35,'\nExecutive ability is prominent in your make-up.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14652,35,'\nExercise caution in your daily affairs.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14653,35,'\nExpect a letter from a friend who will ask a favor of you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14654,35,'\nExpect the worst, it\'s the least you can do.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14655,35,'\nFine day for friends.\nSo-so day for you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14656,35,'\nFine day to work off excess energy.  Steal something heavy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14657,35,'\nFortune: You will be attacked next Wednesday at 3:15 p.m. by six samurai\nsword wielding purple fish glued to Harley-Davidson motorcycles.\n\nOh, and have a nice day!\n\t\t-- Bryce Nesbitt \'84\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14658,35,'\nFuture looks spotty.  You will spill soup in late evening.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14659,35,'\nGenerosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14660,35,'\nGive him an evasive answer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14661,35,'\nGive thought to your reputation.  Consider changing name and moving to\na new town.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14662,35,'\nGive your very best today.  Heaven knows it\'s little enough.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14663,35,'\nGo to a movie tonight.  Darkness becomes you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14664,35,'\nGood day for a change of scene.  Repaper the bedroom wall.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14665,35,'\nGood day for overcoming obstacles.  Try a steeplechase.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14666,35,'\nGood day to deal with people in high places; particularly lonely stewardesses.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14667,35,'\nGood day to let down old friends who need help.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14668,35,'\nGood news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14669,35,'\nGood news.  Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14670,35,'\nGood night to spend with family, but avoid arguments with your mate\'s\nnew lover.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14671,35,'\nGreen light in A.M. for new projects.  Red light in P.M. for traffic tickets.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14672,35,'\nHope that the day after you die is a nice day.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14673,35,'\nIf you can read this, you\'re too close.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14674,35,'\nIf you learn one useless thing every day, in a single year you\'ll learn\n365 useless things.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14675,35,'\nIf you sow your wild oats, hope for a crop failure.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14676,35,'\nIf you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14677,35,'\nIf you think last Tuesday was a drag, wait till you see what happens tomorrow!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14678,35,'\nIf your life was a horse, you\'d have to shoot it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14679,35,'\nIn the stairway of life, you\'d best take the elevator.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14680,35,'\nIncreased knowledge will help you now.  Have mate\'s phone bugged.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14681,35,'\nIs that really YOU that is reading this?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14682,35,'\nIs this really happening?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14683,35,'\nIt is so very hard to be an \non-your-own-take-care-of-yourself-because-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you\ngrown-up.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14684,35,'\nIt may or may not be worthwhile, but it still has to be done.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14685,35,'\nIt was all so different before everything changed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14686,35,'\nIt\'s a very *__\b\bUN*lucky week in which to be took dead.\n\t\t-- Churchy La Femme\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14687,35,'\nIt\'s all in the mind, ya know.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14688,35,'\nIt\'s lucky you\'re going so slowly, because you\'re going in the wrong direction.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14689,35,'\nJust because the message may never be received does not mean it is\nnot worth sending.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14690,35,'\nJust to have it is enough.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14691,35,'\nKeep emotionally active.  Cater to your favorite neurosis.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14692,35,'\nKeep it short for pithy sake.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14693,35,'\nLady Luck brings added income today.  Lady friend takes it away tonight.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14694,35,'\nLearn to pause -- or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14695,35,'\nLet me put it this way: today is going to be a learning experience.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14696,35,'\nLife is to you a dashing and bold adventure.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14697,35,'\n\"Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can\'t like it.\"\n\t\t-- Marvin, \"Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14698,35,'\nLive in a world of your own, but always welcome visitors.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14699,35,'\nLiving your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14700,35,'\nLong life is in store for you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14701,35,'\nLook afar and see the end from the beginning.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14702,35,'\nLove is in the offing.  Be affectionate to one who adores you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14703,35,'\nMake a wish, it might come true.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14704,35,'\nMany changes of mind and mood; do not hesitate too long.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14705,35,'\nNever be led astray onto the path of virtue.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14706,35,'\nNever commit yourself!  Let someone else commit you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14707,35,'\nNever give an inch!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14708,35,'\nNever look up when dragons fly overhead.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14709,35,'\nNever reveal your best argument.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14710,35,'\nNext Friday will not be your lucky day.  As a matter of fact, you don\'t\nhave a lucky day this year.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14711,35,'\nObviously the only rational solution to your problem is suicide.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14712,35,'\nOf course you have a purpose -- to find a purpose.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14713,35,'\nPeople are beginning to notice you.  Try dressing before you leave the house.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14714,35,'\nPerfect day for scrubbing the floor and other exciting things.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14715,35,'\nQuestionable day.\n\nAsk somebody something.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14716,35,'\nReply hazy, ask again later.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14717,35,'\nSave energy: be apathetic.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14718,35,'\nShips are safe in harbor, but they were never meant to stay there.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14719,35,'\nSlow day.  Practice crawling.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14720,35,'\nSnow Day -- stay home.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14721,35,'\nSo this it it.  We\'re going to die.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14722,35,'\nSo you\'re back... about time...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14723,35,'\nSomeone is speaking well of you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14724,35,'\nSomeone is speaking well of you.\n\nHow unusual!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14725,35,'\nSomeone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14726,35,'\nStay away from flying saucers today.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14727,35,'\nStay away from hurricanes for a while.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14728,35,'\nStay the curse.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14729,35,'\nThat secret you\'ve been guarding, isn\'t.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14730,35,'\nThe time is right to make new friends.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14731,35,'\nThe whole world is a tuxedo and you are a pair of brown shoes.\n\t\t-- George Gobel\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14732,35,'\nThere is a 20');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14733,35,' chance of tomorrow.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14734,35,'\nThere is a fly on your nose.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14735,35,'\nThere was a phone call for you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14736,35,'\nThere will be big changes for you but you will be happy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14737,35,'\nThings will be bright in P.M.  A cop will shine a light in your face.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14738,35,'\nThink twice before speaking, but don\'t say \"think think click click\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14739,35,'\nThis life is yours.  Some of it was given to you; the rest, you made yourself.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14740,35,'\nThis will be a memorable month -- no matter how hard you try to forget it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14741,35,'\nTime to be aggressive.  Go after a tattooed Virgo.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14742,35,'\nToday is National Existential Ennui Awareness Day.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14743,35,'\nToday is the first day of the rest of the mess.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14744,35,'\nToday is the first day of the rest of your life.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14745,35,'\nToday is the last day of your life so far.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14746,35,'\nToday is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14747,35,'\nToday is what happened to yesterday.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14748,35,'\nToday\'s weirdness is tomorrow\'s reason why.\n\t\t-- Hunter S. Thompson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14749,35,'\nTomorrow will be cancelled due to lack of interest.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14750,35,'\nTomorrow, this will be part of the unchangeable past but fortunately,\nit can still be changed today.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14751,35,'\nTomorrow, you can be anywhere.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14752,35,'\nTonight you will pay the wages of sin; Don\'t forget to leave a tip.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14753,35,'\nTonight\'s the night: Sleep in a eucalyptus tree.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14754,35,'\nTroubled day for virgins over 16 who are beautiful and wealthy and live\nin eucalyptus trees.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14755,35,'\nTruth will out this morning.  (Which may really mess things up.)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14756,35,'\nTry the Moo Shu Pork.  It is especially good today.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14757,35,'\nTry to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14758,35,'\nTry to have as good a life as you can under the circumstances.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14759,35,'\nTry to relax and enjoy the crisis.\n\t\t-- Ashleigh Brilliant\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14760,35,'\nTry to value useful qualities in one who loves you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14761,35,'\nTuesday After Lunch is the cosmic time of the week.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14762,35,'\nTuesday is the Wednesday of the rest of your life.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14763,35,'\nWhat happened last night can happen again.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14764,35,'\nWhile you recently had your problems on the run, they\'ve regrouped and\nare making another attack.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14765,35,'\nWrite yourself a threatening letter and pen a defiant reply.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14766,35,'\nYou are a bundle of energy, always on the go.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14767,35,'\nYou are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14768,35,'\nYou are a very redundant person, that\'s what kind of person you are.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14769,35,'\nYou are always busy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14770,35,'\nYou are as I am with You.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14771,35,'\nYou are capable of planning your future.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14772,35,'\nYou are confused; but this is your normal state.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14773,35,'\nYou are deeply attached to your friends and acquaintances.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14774,35,'\nYou are destined to become the commandant of the fighting men of the\ndepartment of transportation.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14775,35,'\nYou are dishonest, but never to the point of hurting a friend.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14776,35,'\nYou are fairminded, just and loving.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14777,35,'\nYou are farsighted, a good planner, an ardent lover, and a faithful friend.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14778,35,'\nYou are fighting for survival in your own sweet and gentle way.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14779,35,'\nYou are going to have a new love affair.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14780,35,'\nYou are magnetic in your bearing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14781,35,'\nYou are not dead yet.  But watch for further reports.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14782,35,'\nYou are number 6!  Who is number one?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14783,35,'\nYou are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14784,35,'\nYou are scrupulously honest, frank, and straightforward.  Therefore you\nhave few friends.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14785,35,'\nYou are sick, twisted and perverted.  I like that in a person.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14786,35,'\nYou are so boring that when I see you my feet go to sleep.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14787,35,'\nYou are standing on my toes.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14788,35,'\nYou are taking yourself far too seriously.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14789,35,'\nYou are the only person to ever get this message.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14790,35,'\nYou are wise, witty, and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading\nthis sort of trash.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14791,35,'\nYou attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14792,35,'\nYou can create your own opportunities this week.  Blackmail a senior executive.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14793,35,'\nYou can do very well in speculation where land or anything to do with dirt\nis concerned.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14794,35,'\nYou can rent this space for only $5 a week.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14795,35,'\nYou could live a better life, if you had a better mind and a better body.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14796,35,'\nYou definitely intend to start living sometime soon.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14797,35,'\nYou dialed 5483.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14798,35,'\nYou display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14799,35,'\nYou don\'t become a failure until you\'re satisfied with being one.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14800,35,'\nYou enjoy the company of other people.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14801,35,'\nYou feel a whole lot more like you do now than you did when you used to.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14802,35,'\nYou fill a much-needed gap.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14803,35,'\nYou get along very well with everyone except animals and people.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14804,35,'\nYou had some happiness once, but your parents moved away, and you had to\nleave it behind.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14805,35,'\nYou have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14806,35,'\nYou have a deep interest in all that is artistic.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14807,35,'\nYou have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy. \nA pity that it\'s totally undeserved.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14808,35,'\nYou have a strong appeal for members of the opposite sex.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14809,35,'\nYou have a strong appeal for members of your own sex.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14810,35,'\nYou have a strong desire for a home and your family interests come first.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14811,35,'\nYou have a truly strong individuality.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14812,35,'\nYou have a will that can be influenced by all with whom you come in contact.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14813,35,'\nYou have an ability to sense and know higher truth.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14814,35,'\nYou have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14815,35,'\nYou have an unusual equipment for success.  Be sure to use it properly.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14816,35,'\nYou have an unusual magnetic personality.  Don\'t walk too close to\nmetal objects which are not fastened down.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14817,35,'\nYou have an unusual understanding of the problems of human relationships.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14818,35,'\nYou have been selected for a secret mission.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14819,35,'\nYou have Egyptian flu: you\'re going to be a mummy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14820,35,'\nYou have had a long-term stimulation relative to business.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14821,35,'\nYou have literary talent that you should take pains to develop.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14822,35,'\nYou have many friends and very few living enemies.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14823,35,'\nYou have no real enemies.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14824,35,'\nYou have taken yourself too seriously.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14825,35,'\nYou have the body of a 19 year old.  Please return it before it gets wrinkled.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14826,35,'\nYou have the capacity to learn from mistakes.  You\'ll learn a lot today.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14827,35,'\nYou have the power to influence all with whom you come in contact.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14828,35,'\nYou learn to write as if to someone else because NEXT YEAR YOU WILL BE\n\"SOMEONE ELSE.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14829,35,'\nYou like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14830,35,'\nYou look like a million dollars.  All green and wrinkled.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14831,35,'\nYou look tired.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14832,35,'\nYou love peace.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14833,35,'\nYou love your home and want it to be beautiful.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14834,35,'\nYou may be gone tomorrow, but that doesn\'t mean that you weren\'t here today.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14835,35,'\nYou may be infinitely smaller than some things, but you\'re infinitely \nlarger than others.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14836,35,'\nYou may be recognized soon.  Hide.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14837,35,'\nYou may get an opportunity for advancement today.  Watch it!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14838,35,'\nYou may worry about your hair-do today, but tomorrow much peanut butter will\nbe sold.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14839,35,'\nYou need more time; and you probably always will.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14840,35,'\nYou need no longer worry about the future.  This time tomorrow you\'ll be dead.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14841,35,'\nYou never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14842,35,'\nYou never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14843,35,'\nYou now have Asian Flu.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14844,35,'\nYou own a dog, but you can only feed a cat.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14845,35,'\nYou plan things that you do not even attempt because of your extreme caution.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14846,35,'\nYou possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14847,35,'\nYou prefer the company of the opposite sex, but are well liked by your own.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14848,35,'\nYou recoil from the crude; you tend naturally toward the exquisite.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14849,35,'\nYou seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14850,35,'\nYou shall be rewarded for a dastardly deed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14851,35,'\nYou should emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far.  Especially\nif they are dead.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14852,35,'\nYou should go home.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14853,35,'\nYou single-handedly fought your way into this hopeless mess.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14854,35,'\nYou teach best what you most need to learn.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14855,35,'\nYou too can wear a nose mitten.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14856,35,'\nYou two ought to be more careful--your love could drag on for years and years.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14857,35,'\nYou will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14858,35,'\nYou will always have good luck in your personal affairs.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14859,35,'\nYou will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14860,35,'\nYou will be a winner today.  Pick a fight with a four-year-old.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14861,35,'\nYou will be advanced socially, without any special effort on your part.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14862,35,'\nYou will be aided greatly by a person whom you thought to be unimportant.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14863,35,'\nYou will be attacked by a beast who has the body of a wolf, the tail of\na lion, and the face of Donald Duck.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14864,35,'\nYou will be audited by the Internal Revenue Service.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14865,35,'\nYou will be awarded a medal for disregarding safety in saving someone.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14866,35,'\nYou will be awarded some great honor.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14867,35,'\nYou will be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize... posthumously.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14868,35,'\nYou will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14869,35,'\nYou will be dead within a year.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14870,35,'\nYou will be divorced within a year.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14871,35,'\nYou will be given a post of trust and responsibility.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14872,35,'\nYou will be held hostage by a radical group.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14873,35,'\nYou will be honored for contributing your time and skill to a worthy cause.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14874,35,'\nYou will be imprisoned for contributing your time and skill to a bank robbery.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14875,35,'\nYou will be married within a year, and divorced within two.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14876,35,'\nYou will be married within a year.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14877,35,'\nYou will be misunderstood by everyone.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14878,35,'\nYou will be recognized and honored as a community leader.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14879,35,'\nYou will be reincarnated as a toad; and you will be much happier.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14880,35,'\nYou will be run over by a beer truck.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14881,35,'\nYou will be run over by a bus.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14882,35,'\nYou will be singled out for promotion in your work.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14883,35,'\nYou will be successful in love.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14884,35,'\nYou will be surprised by a loud noise.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14885,35,'\nYou will be surrounded by luxury.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14886,35,'\nYou will be the last person to buy a Chrysler.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14887,35,'\nYou will be the victim of a bizarre joke.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14888,35,'\nYou will be Told about it Tomorrow.  Go Home and Prepare Thyself.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14889,35,'\nYou will be traveling and coming into a fortune.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14890,35,'\nYou will be winged by an anti-aircraft battery.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14891,35,'\nYou will become rich and famous unless you don\'t.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14892,35,'\nYou will contract a rare disease.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14893,35,'\nYou will engage in a profitable business activity.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14894,35,'\nYou will experience a strong urge to do good; but it will pass.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14895,35,'\nYou will feel hungry again in another hour.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14896,35,'\nYou will forget that you ever knew me.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14897,35,'\nYou will gain money by a fattening action.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14898,35,'\nYou will gain money by a speculation or lottery.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14899,35,'\nYou will gain money by an illegal action.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14900,35,'\nYou will gain money by an immoral action.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14901,35,'\nYou will get what you deserve.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14902,35,'\nYou will give someone a piece of your mind, which you can ill afford.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14903,35,'\nYou will have a long and boring life.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14904,35,'\nYou will have a long and unpleasant discussion with your supervisor.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14905,35,'\nYou will have domestic happiness and faithful friends.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14906,35,'\nYou will have good luck and overcome many hardships.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14907,35,'\nYou will have long and healthy life.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14908,35,'\nYou will hear good news from one you thought unfriendly to you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14909,35,'\nYou will inherit millions of dollars.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14910,35,'\nYou will inherit some money or a small piece of land.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14911,35,'\nYou will live a long, healthy, happy life and make bags of money.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14912,35,'\nYou will live to see your grandchildren.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14913,35,'\nYou will lose your present job and have to become a door to door mayonnaise\nsalesman.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14914,35,'\nYou will meet an important person who will help you advance professionally.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14915,35,'\nYou will never know hunger.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14916,35,'\nYou will not be elected to public office this year.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14917,35,'\nYou will obey or molten silver will be poured into your ears.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14918,35,'\nYou will outgrow your usefulness.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14919,35,'\nYou will overcome the attacks of jealous associates.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14920,35,'\nYou will pass away very quickly.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14921,35,'\nYou will pay for your sins.  If you have already paid, please disregard\nthis message.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14922,35,'\nYou will pioneer the first Martian colony.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14923,35,'\nYou will probably marry after a very brief courtship.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14924,35,'\nYou will reach the highest possible point in your business or profession.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14925,35,'\nYou will receive a legacy which will place you above want.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14926,35,'\nYou will remember something that you should not have forgotten.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14927,35,'\nYou will soon forget this.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14928,35,'\nYou will soon meet a person who will play an important role in your life.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14929,35,'\nYou will step on the night soil of many countries.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14930,35,'\nYou will stop at nothing to reach your objective, but only because your\nbrakes are defective.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14931,35,'\nYou will triumph over your enemy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14932,35,'\nYou will visit the Dung Pits of Glive soon.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14933,35,'\nYou will win success in whatever calling you adopt.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14934,35,'\nYou will wish you hadn\'t.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14935,35,'\nYou work very hard.  Don\'t try to think as well.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14936,35,'\nYou worry too much about your job.  Stop it.  You are not paid enough to worry.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14937,35,'\nYou would if you could but you can\'t so you won\'t.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14938,35,'\nYou\'d like to do it instantaneously, but that\'s too slow.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14939,35,'\nYou\'ll be called to a post requiring ability in handling groups of people.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14940,35,'\nYou\'ll be sorry...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14941,35,'\nYou\'ll feel devilish tonight.  Toss dynamite caps under a flamenco dancer\'s\nheel.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14942,35,'\nYou\'ll feel much better once you\'ve given up hope.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14943,35,'\nYou\'ll never be the man your mother was!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14944,35,'\nYou\'ll never see all the places, or read all the books, but fortunately,\nthey\'re not all recommended.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14945,35,'\nYou\'ll wish that you had done some of the hard things when they were easier\nto do.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14946,35,'\nYou\'re a card which will have to be dealt with.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14947,35,'\nYou\'re almost as happy as you think you are.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14948,35,'\nYou\'re at the end of the road again.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14949,35,'\nYou\'re being followed.  Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14950,35,'\nYou\'re currently going through a difficult transition period called \"Life.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14951,35,'\nYou\'re definitely on their list.  The question to ask next is what list it is.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14952,35,'\nYou\'re growing out of some of your problems, but there are others that\nyou\'re growing into.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14953,35,'\nYou\'re not my type.  For that matter, you\'re not even my species!!!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14954,35,'\nYou\'re ugly and your mother dresses you funny.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14955,35,'\nYou\'re working under a slight handicap.  You happen to be human.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14956,35,'\nYou\'ve been leading a dog\'s life.  Stay off the furniture.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14957,35,'\nYour aim is high and to the right.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14958,35,'\nYour aims are high, and you are capable of much.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14959,35,'\nYour analyst has you mixed up with another patient.  Don\'t believe a\nthing he tells you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14960,35,'\nYour best consolation is the hope that the things you failed to get weren\'t\nreally worth having.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14961,35,'\nYour boss climbed the corporate ladder, wrong by wrong.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14962,35,'\nYour boss is a few sandwiches short of a picnic.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14963,35,'\nYour boyfriend takes chocolate from strangers.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14964,35,'\nYour business will assume vast proportions.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14965,35,'\nYour business will go through a period of considerable expansion.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14966,35,'\nYour depth of comprehension may tend to make you lax in worldly ways.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14967,35,'\nYour domestic life may be harmonious.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14968,35,'\nYour fly might be open (but don\'t check it just now).\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14969,35,'\nYour goose is cooked.\n(Your current chick is burned up too!)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14970,35,'\nYour heart is pure, and your mind clear, and your soul devout.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14971,35,'\nYour ignorance cramps my conversation.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14972,35,'\nYour life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14973,35,'\nYour love life will be happy and harmonious.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14974,35,'\nYour love life will be... interesting.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14975,35,'\nYour lover will never wish to leave you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14976,35,'\nYour lucky color has faded.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14977,35,'\nYour lucky number has been disconnected.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14978,35,'\nYour lucky number is 3552664958674928.  Watch for it everywhere.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14979,35,'\nYour mode of life will be changed for the better because of good news soon.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14980,35,'\nYour mode of life will be changed for the better because of new developments.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14981,35,'\nYour motives for doing whatever good deed you may have in mind will be\nmisinterpreted by somebody.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14982,35,'\nYour nature demands love and your happiness depends on it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14983,35,'\nYour object is to save the world, while still leading a pleasant life.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14984,35,'\nYour own qualities will help prevent your advancement in the world.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14985,35,'\nYour present plans will be successful.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14986,35,'\nYour reasoning is excellent -- it\'s only your basic assumptions that are wrong.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14987,35,'\nYour reasoning powers are good, and you are a fairly good planner.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14988,35,'\nYour sister swims out to meet troop ships.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14989,35,'\nYour society will be sought by people of taste and refinement.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14990,35,'\nYour step will soil many countries.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14991,35,'\nYour supervisor is thinking about you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14992,35,'\nYour talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14993,35,'\nYour temporary financial embarrassment will be relieved in a surprising manner.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14994,35,'\nYour true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14995,36,'=======================================================================\n||\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t     ||\n|| The FORTUNE-COOKIE program is soon to be a Major Motion Picture!  ||\n||\t   Watch for it at a theater near you next summer!\t     ||\n||\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t     ||\n=======================================================================\n\tFrancis Ford Coppola presents a George Lucas Production:\n\t\t\t\"Fortune Cookie\"\n\tDirected by Steven Spielberg.\n\tStarring  Harrison Ford  Bette Midler  Marlon Brando\n\t\t  Christopher Reeves  Marilyn Chambers\n\t\t  and Bob Hope as \"The Waiter\".\n\tCostumes Designed by Pierre Cardin.\n\tSpecial Effects by Timothy Leary.\n\tRead the Warner paperback!\n\tInvoke the Unix program!\n\tSoundtrack on XTC Records.\n\tIn 70mm and Dolby Stereo at selected theaters and terminal\n\t\tcenters.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14996,36,'\n3M, under the Scotch brand name, manufactures a fine adhesive for art\nand display work.  This product is called \"Craft Mount\".  3M suggests\nthat to obtain the best results, one should make the bond \"while the\nadhesive is wet, aggressively tacky.\"  I did not know what \"aggressively\ntacky\" meant until I read today\'s fortune.\n\n\t\t[And who said we didn\'t offer equal time, huh? Ed.]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14997,36,'\n\t\tAnswers to Last Fortune\'s Questions:\n\n\t(1) None.  (Moses didn\'t have an ark).\n\t(2) Your mother, by the pigeonhole principle.\n\t(3) I don\'t know.\n\t(4) Who cares?\n\t(5) 6 (or maybe 4, or else 3).  Mr. Alfred J. Duncan of Podunk,\n\t    Montana, submitted an interesting solution to Problem 5.\n\t(6) There is an interesting solution to this problem on page 1029 of my\n\t    book, which you can pick up for $23.95 at finer bookstores and\n\t    bathroom supply outlets (or 99 cents at the table in front of\n\t    Papyrus Books).\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14998,36,'\nBeware of computerized fortune-tellers!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (14999,36,'\nBy necessity, by proclivity, and by delight, we all quote.  In fact, it is as\ndifficult to appropriate the thoughts of others as it is to invent.\n\t\t-- R. Emerson\n\t\t-- Quoted from a fortune cookie program\n\t\t(whose author claims, \"Actually, stealing IS easier.\")\n\t\t[to which I reply, \"You think it\'s easy for me to\n\t\tmisconstrue all these misquotations?!?\"  Ed.]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15000,36,'\nChocolate chip.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15001,36,'\n\t\t\tDELETE A FORTUNE!\nDon\'t some of these fortunes just drive you nuts?!\nWouldn\'t you like to see some of them deleted from the system?\nYou can!  Just mail to `fortune\' with the fortune you hate most,\nand we\'ll make sure it gets expunged.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15002,36,'\nDid you know about the -o option of the fortune program?  It makes a\nselection from a set of offensive and/or obscene fortunes.  Why not\ntry it, and see how offended you are?  The -a (\"all\") option will\nselect a fortune at random from either the offensive or inoffensive\nset, and it is suggested that \"fortune -a\" is the command that you\nshould have in your .profile or .cshrc. file.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15003,36,'\nDo not read this fortune under penalty of law.\nViolators will be prosecuted.\n(Penal Code sec. 2.3.2 (II.a.))\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15004,36,'\nFor 20 dollars, I\'ll give you a good fortune next time ...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15005,36,'\nFor some reason, this fortune reminds everyone of Marvin Zelkowitz.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15006,36,'\nFortune\'s current rates:\n\n\tAnswers\t\t\t\t.10\n\tLong answers\t\t\t.25\n\tAnswers requiring thought\t.50\n\tCorrect answers\t\t\t$1.00\n\n\tDumb looks are still free.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15007,36,'\nGeneric Fortune.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15008,36,'\nGinger snap.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15009,36,'\nHas anyone realized that the purpose of the fortune cookie program is to\ndefuse project tensions?  When did you ever see a cheerful cookie, a\nnon-cynical, or even an informative cookie?\n\tPerhaps inadvertently, we have a channel for our aggressions.  This\nstill begs the question of whether the cookie releases the pressure or only\nserves to blunt the warning signs.\n\n\tLong live the revolution!\n\tHave a nice day.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15010,36,'\nHi there!  This is just a note from me, to you, to tell you, the person\nreading this note, that I can\'t think up any more famous quotes, jokes,\nnor bizarre stories, so you may as well go home.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15011,36,'\nI know you believe you understand what you think this fortune says, but\nI\'m not sure you realize that what you are reading is not what it means.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15012,36,'\nIf it\'s Tuesday, this must be someone else\'s fortune.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15013,36,'\nIf there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15014,36,'\nIf this fortune didn\'t exist, somebody would have invented it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15015,36,'\nIf you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings -- including this one.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15016,36,'\nIgnore previous fortune.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15017,36,'\nIn which level of metalanguage are you now speaking?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15018,36,'\n(null cookie; hope that\'s ok)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15019,36,'\nOatmeal raisin.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15020,36,'\nOreo.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15021,36,'\nPardon this fortune.  Database under reconstruction.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15022,36,'\nPick another fortune cookie.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15023,36,'\nPlease ignore previous fortune.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15024,36,'\nSince before the Earth was formed and before the sun burned hot in space,\ncosmic forces of inexorable power have been working relentlessly toward\nthis moment in space-time -- your receiving this fortune.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15025,36,'\nSorry, no fortune this time.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15026,36,'\nThe fortune program is supported, in part, by user contributions and by\na major grant from the National Endowment for the Inanities.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15027,36,'\nThere is no such thing as fortune.  Try again.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15028,36,'\nThis fortune cookie program out of order.  For those in desperate need,\nplease use the program \"________\b\b\b\b\b\b\b\brandchar\".  This program generates random\ncharacters, and, given enough time, will undoubtedly come up with\nsomething profound.  It will, however, take it no time at all to be\nmore profound than THIS program has ever been.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15029,36,'\nThis Fortune Examined By INSPECTOR NO. 2-14\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15030,36,'\nThis fortune intentionally left blank.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15031,36,'\nThis fortune intentionally not included.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15032,36,'\nThis fortune intentionally says nothing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15033,36,'\nThis fortune is dedicated to your mother, without whose invaluable assistance\nlast night would never have been possible.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15034,36,'\nThis fortune is encrypted -- get your decoder rings ready!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15035,36,'\nThis fortune is false.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15036,36,'\nThis fortune is inoperative.  Please try another.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15037,36,'\nThis fortune soaks up 47 times its own weight in excess memory.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15038,36,'\nThis fortune was brought to you by the people at Hewlett-Packard.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15039,36,'\nThis fortune would be seven words long if it were six words shorter.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15040,36,'\nTHIS IS PLEDGE WEEK FOR THE FORTUNE PROGRAM\n\nIf you like the fortune program, why not support it now with your\ncontribution of a pithy fortunes, clean or obscene?  We cannot continue\nwithout your support.  Less than 14');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15041,36,' of all fortune users are contributors.\nThat means that 86');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15042,36,' of you are getting a free ride.  We can\'t go on like\nthis much longer.  Federal cutbacks mean less money for fortunes, and unless\nuser contributions increase to make up the difference, the fortune program\nwill have to shut down between midnight and 8 a.m.  Don\'t let this happen.\nMail your fortunes right now to \"fortune\".  Just type in your favorite pithy\nsaying.  Do it now before you forget.  Our target is 300 new fortunes by the\nend of the week. Don\'t miss out.  All fortunes will be acknowledged.  If you\ncontribute 30 fortunes or more, you will receive a free subscription to \"The\nFortune Hunter\", our monthly program guide.  If you contribute 50 or more,\nyou will receive a free \"Fortune Hunter\" coffee mug ....\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15043,36,'\nThis is your fortune.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15044,36,'\nVanilla wafer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15045,36,'\nVery few profundities can be expressed in less than 80 characters.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15046,36,'\nWARNING:\n\tReading this fortune can affect the dimensionality of your\n\tmind, change the curvature of your spine, cause the growth\n\tof hair on your palms, and make a difference in the outcome\n\tof your favorite war.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15047,36,'\nWe interrupt this fortune for an important announcement...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15048,36,'\nWhat does it mean if there is no fortune for you?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15049,36,'\nWhen you\'re not looking at it, this fortune is written in FORTRAN.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15050,36,'\nYou will think of something funnier than this to add to the fortunes.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15051,37,'A \'49er walked into the saloon at Bloody Gulch.  He\'d been prospecting for \nmore than a year.  \n\t\"Hey!  Y\'got any wimmen around here?\"\n\t\"Nope,\" the bartender replied, \"But there\'s George in the back room.\"\n\t\"I don\'t go for that kind of thing,\" the prospector scowled.  He\ndowned his drink and left disgustedly.\nA few months passed before the miner found his way down the mountain again.\nHe stumbled into the tavern and asked the bartender, \"Any wimmen pass through\nthis part of town?\"\n\t\"Nope.  Nary a one.  But we still got George in the back room.\"\n\tAngry, the miner shouted, \"I told you I don\'t go for that kind of \nthing,\" and turned on his heel and left.\n\tWithin a year he came back from his mine again.  With a wild look on\nhis face he re-entered the saloon.  Leaning over the bar he whispered to the\nbartender, \"If I was to go into the back room with George, how many people\n\'round here would know?\"\n\t\"Oh,\" the bartender said, scratching his chin, \"\'bout seven, I guess.\"\n\t\"Seven!?\"\n\t\"Yep.  You, me, George, and the four men holdin\' him down.  You see,\nGeorge don\'t go for that kind of thing neither.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15052,37,'\nA genius is a queer who can whistle while he works.\n\t\t-- Bobby Knight\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15053,37,'\nA huge Rambolike fellow walked into a tavern and took a seat in the middle of\nthe bar.  After downing a double in one gulp, he glared at the six men to his\nright and said, \"You\'re all no-good motherfuckers.  Anyone have a problem with\nthat?\"\n\tWhen no one said a word, the brawny fellow ordered another whiskey,\ndowned it in one gulp, turned to the five men on his left and said, \"You\'re\nall cocksuckers.  Anyone have a problem with that?\"\n\tEverybody on the left stared silently into his drink.  Suddenly, a man\non the right stood up and started walking toward the big guy.  \"Hey, asshole!\"\nthe thug bellowed.  \"You got a problem with what I said?\"\n\t\"No problem at all,\" came the reply.  \"I was just sitting at the wrong\nend of the bar.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15054,37,'\nA lisping fag fell off a pleasure yacht and began to scream.  \"Help! Help, I\ncan\'t thwim!\"  One of the other passengers heard the caterwauling and leaned\nover the rail, remarking, \"Really, there\'s no need to scream.  Just reach out\nand grab that buoy near you.\"  To which the floundering sodomite answered,\n\"Buoy!  Oh, thith ith no time for thekth, you degenerate... I\'m dwowning!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15055,37,'\nA man rushed into a bar and breathlessly asked the bartender to pour him\nthree straight scotches.  The bartender complied, and watched as he downed\nthem one after another.\n\t\"Why three scotches?\" the bartender asked as he paused for breath.\n\t\"Well, to be honest, I\'m celebrating my first blow-job.\"\n\t\"Hell, congratulations, the next one\'s on me.\"\n\t\"No, thanks,\" the young man replied, \"if the first three didn\'t get\nthe taste out of my mouth, I don\'t think another one will.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15056,37,'\n\tA man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots and 3 beers.  The\nbartender, seeing that the man is distraught, asks what the problem is.\n\t\"I just found out that my brother is gay\", he replies.\n\tAbout a week later, the same man walks in and orders 6 shots and\n6 chasers.  So the bartender inquires, \"What\'s wrong this time?\"\n\tTo which the man says, \"I just found out that two of my brothers\nare lovers.\"\n\tAnother week goes by and the man comes back to the bar and orders\nNINE shots and NINE beers.  The bartenders says \"Damn, boy, doesn\'t anyone\nin your family like pussy?\"\n\t\"Yeah.  Me and my sister.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15057,37,'\nA ten-year-old kid came home from school one day, and when his mom\nasked how was school he says: \"Gee, great, mom.  I got laid!\"\n\tShe\'s shocked and sends him upstairs, where his dad finds him after\nwork.  \"Mommy told me about your day at school, Billy, and I think we men\nshould keep it a secret.  Women just don\'t understand these things.\"\n\tSo every night Dad goes up to Billy\'s room after Mom tucks him in:\n\"You get laid today, Billy?\"\n\t\"Yeah, Dad.\"\n\t\"How was it?\"\n\t\"Real neat, Dad, I liked it a lot.\"\n\t\"Good Boy!\".\n\tA month later: \"You get laid today?\"\n\t\"No, Dad.\"\n\t\"No?  How come?\"\n\t\"Gee, Dad, my ass is getting really sore.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15058,37,'\nA young man walks into a bus station, and goes into the men\'s room to relieve\nhimself.  When he steps in he sees a leprechaun with the most enormous penis\nhe has ever seen.  As he urinates, he cannot avoid spying on the giant member\nof the tiny man dressed in green.  The leprechaun zips up and the man asks him\nif he is indeed a real leprechaun.\n\tThe little man says, \"Aye, me laddie, I\'m a leprechaun, and I can\ngrant you three wishes.\"\n\t\"Oh, wow!\" comes the reply, \"What do I need to do?\"\n\t\"Well, havin\' such a large cock makes it a bit awkward with the\nladies, the thing not fittin\' and all...  I\'ll grant you your three wishes\nif you wouldn\'t mind suckin\' me dick \'til I come.\"  The man is a bit taken\naback, but agrees, realizing that the three wishes will be priceless.  After\nthe tiny fellow has come, he starts to walk away.\n\tThe man exclaims, \"Hey, what about my three wishes?\"\n\tReplies the leprechaun, \"How old are you, me boy?\"\n\t\"25.\"\n\t\"Aren\'t you a wee bit old to be believin\' in leprechauns?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15059,37,'\nAnother stupid gay joke!!!\n\tYou see, this gay man walks into a Texas bar and orders a strawberry\ndaquiri.  The bartender looks him over with amusement and says: \"We don\'t \nserve your kind, buddy, why don\'t you get out of here before the boys come\nin and kick your ass?\"\n\tThe guy whimpers a little and lisps, \"Pleasse misssture I am soooo\nthurstay....\"\n\tWell, the bartender feels somewhat sorry for him and hands him a beer\non the house on the condition that he drink it in the back and leave as soon \nas he\'s done.  A little while later, a hulking cowboy walks in and up to the \nbar.  He slams his fist on the bar and hollers, \"I\'m so thirsty, I could\nlick the sweat off of a bulls\' balls!\"\n\tFrom the back of the bar comes the cry...  \"Moo, moo, buckaroooooo!!!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15060,37,'\n\tBubba, Jim Bob, and Leroy were fishing out on the lake last November,\nand, when Bubba tipped his head back to empty the Jim Beam, he fell out of the\nboat into the lake.  Jim Bob and Leroy pulled him back in, but as Bubba didn\'t\nlook too good, they started up the Evinrude and headed back to the pier.\n\tBy the time they got there, Bubba was turning kind of blue, and his\nteeth were chattering like all get out.  Jim Bob said, \"Leroy, go run up to\nthe pickup and get Doc Pritchard on the CB, and ask him what we should do\".\n\tDoc Pritchard, after hearing a description of the case, said \"Now,\nLeroy, listen closely.  Bubba is in great danger.  He has hy-po-thermia.  Now\nwhat you need to do is get all them wet clothes off of Bubba, and take your\nclothes off, and pile your clothes and jackets on top of him.  Then you all\nget under that pile, and hug up to Bubba real close so that you warm him up.\nYou understand me Leroy?  You gotta warm Bubba up, or he\'ll die.\"\n\tLeroy and the Doc 10-4\'ed each other, and Leroy came back to the\npier.  \"Wh-Wh-What\'d th-th-the d-d-doc s-s-say L-L-Leroy?\", Bubba chattered.\n\t\"Bubba, Doc says you\'re gonna die.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15061,37,'\n\tElroy stared at Barb and then leaned quietly over to Shake Tiller\nand stuck out his hand.  \"Son,\" he said.  \"Tell the truth.  It ain\'t better\nthan fried chicken, is it?\"\n\tShake looked solemnly at Elroy, clasping his hand, and said:\n\t\"I got to be dead honest, Roy.\"\n\tAnd Elroy said yeah, lay it on him.\n\tShake said slowly, \"For a Lesbian who gave up the only real love she\never knew -- Sister Francis at Our Lady of Victory -- and for a person who\ncan\'t make it any more with nothing but an electric toothbrush, she\'s the\nfinest I\'ve ever had.\"\n\t\t-- Dan Jenkins, \"Semi-Tough\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15062,37,'\nEveryone:\t\"Australia, Australia, Australia, Australia, we love you,\n\t\tAmen!\"\nBruce:\t\t\"Another two!  (Bottles opening.)  Any questions?\"\nBruce:\t\t\"New-Bruce, are you a Poofter?\"\nBruce:\t\t\"Are you a Poofter?\"\nNew-Bruce:\t\"No!\"\nBruce:\t\t\"No.  Right, I just want to remind you of the faculty rules:\n\tRule One!\"\nEveryone:\t\"NO POOFTERS!\"\nBruce:\t\t\"Rule Two, no member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos\n\tin any way at all -- if there\'s anybody watching.  Rule Three?\"\nEveryone:\t\"NO POOFTERS!\"\nBruce:\t\t\"Rule Four, now this term, I don\'t want to catch anybody not\n\tdrinking.  Rule Five...\"\nEveryone:\t\"NO POOFTERS!\"\nBruce:\t\t\"Rule Six, there is NO... Rule Six.  Rule Seven...\"\nEveryone:\t\"NO POOFTERS!\"\nBruce:\t\t\"Right, that concludes the readin\' of the rules, Bruce.  This\n\there\'s the wattle, the emblem of our land. You can stick it in a\n\tbottle, you can hold it in your hand.  Amen!\n\t\t-- Monty Python\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15063,37,'\nFemale ballet dancers are the bravest girls around.  Who else would take a\nflying leap into the arms of a homosexual and expect to be caught?\n\t\t-- Rita Rudner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15064,37,'\nFor months the loving newlywed had asked his blushing bride to perform oral\nsex on him, but to no avail.  His sweet entreaties never worked, for she was\nsimply too innocent and inexperienced to even *think* of such a thing, let\nalone attempt it.  But a year of gentle persistence finally paid off, and\none night his darling nervously but lovingly performed the act.  When it was\nover, she looked deeply into his eyes, blushed, and asked, \"How was I,\nsweetheart?\"\n\tHe looked at her and replied, \"How should I know -- I\'m no cocksucker!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15065,37,'\nHe was so gay he\'d never lean his ass on a baseball bat -- scared it\'d get\nserious.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15066,37,'\n\t\"Hello, Police Department.\"\n\t\"This is Thomas Parrish, 903 Sylvester Court.  I\'ve just been sexually \nmolested by a pervert, right here in my own home.  It was horrifying!\"\n\t\"Just remain calm, sir, and tell me about it.\"\n\t\"Well, the man came in the window wearing a ski mask.  I was napping\non the bed, in just my pajamas, and the TV set was on so I didn\'t hear anything.\nSuddenly he had his great big old callused hand over my mouth, holding me down.\nI tried to scream... he was pulling my pants off.  I was so frightened!  He\nheld a knife to my throat and undressed so quickly.  What could I do?  I\ncouldn\'t stop him.  He was huge.  A great, hairy, beefy man, more than fifty \npounds heavier than I am, and hung like... Oh! it was terrible.  He had an\nerection, and he knelt on my shoulders and forced the awful thing down my\nthroat; forced me to suck it.  Yes, officer!  There was no escaping this man.\nFinally, when I thought I would faint, he got off me and turned me over on \nmy tummy, forcing my legs apart with his knees, and oh! I\'m so embarrassed to\nsay it, he put that huge thing...  It must have been a foot long, and I don\'t\nknow how thick... into my...  Just a minute.\"\n\t\"What\'s the matter, mister?\"\n\t\"Listen, I have to hang up now, he\'s getting out of the shower.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15067,37,'\nHEY KIDS!  ANN LANDERS SAYS:\n\tA great way to prevent the tragedy of unwanted pregnancy is to\nbecome a homosexual.  Every year, millions of young men and women, just\nlike you, are making the clean change to worry-free homosexuality.\nThey\'re having more sex than ever, and more fun than ever.  Send 50 cents\ntoday for my leaflet \"Gay sexual techniques\".  Be sure to specify the\nmale or female edition.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15068,37,'\nIf God doesn\'t destroy San Francisco, He should apologize to Sodom and\nGomorrah.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15069,37,'\nIn a recent survey on why some men are homosexual, 82 percent of the gay\nchaps responding said that either genetics or home environment was the\nprincipal factor.  The remaining 18 percent revealed that they had been\nsucked into it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15070,37,'\nIn San Francisco, Halloween is redundant.\n\t\t-- Will Durst\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15071,37,'\n\tLiberace was at heaven\'s gate when Saint Peter told him that he\'d been\ndisqualified from entering.\n\tStunned, Liberace asked, \"Why?\"\n\t\"Our records show that you once ate a parakeet,\" Saint Peter answered.\n\t\"I never did that,\" Liberace replied.  \"Can\'t you check your records?\nThey *must* be wrong!\"\n\t\"It says right here that on August 15, 1981, you ate a chartreuse\nparakeet with black trim.\"\n\t\"Hey, listen, you must be thinking of Ozzy Osbourne, \" Liberace\nreplied. \"Now, I might have had a cockatoo...\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15072,37,'\nLittle Boy Blew... he needed the money.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15073,37,'\nOne fall day, two men were out in the woods hunting.  Feeling a sudden need\nto relieve himself, George went over to a nearby clump of bushes, unzipped\nhis fly, and started in when a poisonous snake lunged out of the bushes and\nbit him on his penis.  Hearing George\'s howl of pain and fright, his friend\nFred came running up and told him to lie still while he used the radio to\ncall a doctor.\n\t\"There\'s only one way to save your friend\'s life,\" said the doctor\ngravely.  \"If you cut a shallow \'X\' over the bite and then suck as much of\nthe poison out as you can, he\'ll probably be okay, but otherwise there\'s not\nmuch hope.\"\n\tHearing Fred\'s footsteps, George rose weakly up on one elbow and\ncried out, \"Fred, what\'d he say?  What did the doctor say?\"\n\t\"George, old friend,\" said Fred sadly, \"he said you\'re gonna die.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15074,37,'\nOut on the great American desert one day, a bald eagle reached a\nstate of great libidal distress.  Pickings were slim, but in time, he saw a\ndove flying by.  \"Better than nothin\'\", he muttered (birds in jokes can mutter)\nand swooped down, grabbed the dove and flew to his nest.  Feathers flew, and\neventually the dove tottered to the edge of the cliff and shouted (yes, they\nshout, too):\n\t\"I\'m a dove!  I\'ve been loved!  And I LIKE it!\"\n\tWell, this took care of the old boy for a while but soon enough he\nwas at it again.  All he could find was a lark, so away he went, and feathers\nflew and soon the lark tottered to the edge of the cliff and shouted:\n\t\"I\'m a lark!  I\'ve been sparked!  And I LIKE it!\"\n\tAs you can guess, some time later our friend was again in need of\namor... lib... you know!  This time, all that happened by was... a duck!\nSo down he swooped, and feathers flew, and the next thing seen is the duck\ntottering to the cliffside and shouting:\n\t\"I\'M A DRAKE!  THERE\'S BEEN A MISTAKE!  AND I DON\'T LIKE IT!!!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15075,37,'\n\tSam Lefkovitz is having an intimate party to celebrate his thirty\nimmensely profitable years in the construction business.\n\t\"You know,\" he laments to his friends, \"over the years I have\nconstructed dozens of enormous projects in and around this city, but\nam I known as Sam the Builder?  No.\n\tAnd over the years I have contributed literally millions of\ndollars to charitable causes of one sort or another, but am I called\nSam the Philanthropist?  No sir!\n\tBut suck one little cock...\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15076,37,'\nThe most difficult thing about surviving AIDS is trying to convince\nyour parents that you\'re Haitian.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15077,37,'\nThe new rooster caused a great stir in the barnyard.  From resplendent comb\nto defiant spurs, he was the picture of young bantamhood.  Almost immediately\nupon arrival, he was greeted by and elderly rooster who took him behind the\nbarn and whispered in his ear: \"Young fellow, I\'m long past my prime.  All I\nwant now is peace and solitude.  So you take over right now as ruler of the\nroost with my blessings.\"\n\tThe newcomer did just that.  He went about his squirely duties as only\na young rooster could.  After several days, however, the elder rooster again\ntook the young champion behind the barn.  \"Kid,\" he said, \"the hens are after\nme for giving up my position so readily.  So why don\'t we have a race, say,\nten laps around the farmhouse?  The winner becomes undisputed keeper of the\nhenhouse and the hens will stop nagging me.\n\tThe young rooster, with only contempt for his elder, agreed.  \nSurprisingly, the older one jumped off to an early lead.  His counterpart, \nweakened by the activities of the previous week, was never quite able to\novertake him.  As they rounded the barn for the fourth time, the elder rooster \nmaintained a formidable lead.\n\tSuddenly, a shotgun blast rang out.  The young rooster fell in the \ndust, his plumage riddled with buckshot.\n\t\"Dammit, Emmy,\" said the farmer.  \"That\'s the last rooster we buy\nfrom Ferguson.  Four of \'em this month, and every one\'s been queer.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15078,37,'\nThe San Francisco police are nothing if not sensitive to the mood of the\ncommunity.  The word is that Dirty Harry has been replaced by Bitchy Gerald.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15079,37,'\nThe warden of the De Luxington preparatory school for boys was holding a\nhearing.  The lad before his desk, a very popular young fellow, was angrily\naccusing one of his schoolmates of having assaulted him sexually.\n\t\"I must warn you, m\'boy, this is a very serious charge, the warden\nsaid.\n\t\"I don\'t care.  I tell you it is true.  He raped me, warden.\"  The\nyouth pointed to another, somewhat larger boy smirking in the corner.\n\"That\'s him, sir, the one who forced me to do all those crimes against\nnature.  The bully!\"\n\t\"Now tell me, son, as closely as you can, when this happened.\"\n\t\"Sir, two weeks ago on Wednesday at 4:00, then at 7:00 that same \nevening, on Friday, twice on Saturday, two times on Monday, once on\nWednesday, and then he met that bitch Roy and he hasn\'t touched me since.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15080,37,'\nThen there was the girl whose boyfriend didn\'t smoke, drink or \nswear, and never, ever made a pass at her.  He also made his own dresses.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15081,37,'\nThere is a new model of car being sold in San Francisco -- the pervertible.\nThe top doesn\'t go down, but the driver does.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15082,37,'\n\tThis guy is taking a leak in a public men\'s room when a man enters\nwith his arms held out from his sides, bent at the elbows with his hands\ndangling awkwardly, and comes over to him.\n\t\"Would you do me a favor and unzip my fly?\" he asks.\n\tFiguring the man to be a poor cripple, perhaps an accident victim,\nthe guy obliges, not without a flush of embarrassment when the man next\nrequests that he take out his prick and hold it in the appropriate position.\n\t\"Shake it off\" is the next instruction, then \"zip me up,\" and the\nguy follows orders, wincing at his own embarrassment and at the shame of\nbeing so helpless.\n\t\"Say, thanks,\" says the man, flouncing to the door.  \"I can\'t do a\n*thing* \'til my nails dry!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15083,37,'\n\tTwo gay guys, Larry and Phil, were driving down the highway when they\nwere rear-ended by a huge semi.  Somewhat shaken, they maneuvered over to the\nside of the road, where Phil instructed Larry to get out and confront the truck\ndriver.  \"Tell him we\'re going to sue, sue, sue!\" he shrieked.\n\tObligingly, Larry got out and went around to the cab of the truck to \ndeliver this message to the huge, burly driver, whose response was to snarl,\n\"Ah, why doncha suck my cock.\"\n\t\"Phil,\" said Larry, coming back to their car, \"I think we\'re going\nto be able to settle out of court.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15084,37,'\nTwo gentlemen met at the club after a long absence and talked.\n\t\"Did you hear about Chumley?\", one asked.\n\t\"No, old man, what about him?\"\n\t\"Last seen in Africa, you know.\"\n\t\"No, I didn\'t.\"\n\t\"Yes.  Appalling.  Ran off with a gorilla.  Fallen in love.\"\n\t\"Queer.\"\n\t\"Not Chumley.  Female gorilla.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15085,37,'\nTwo men and a woman were stranded on a desert island --\n\nTwo weeks later, the woman was so ashamed of what she had been doing,\nshe committed suicide.\n\nTwo weeks later, the men were so ashamed of what they had been doing,\nthey buried her.\n\nTwo weeks later, the men were so ashamed of what they had been doing,\nthey dug her back up.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15086,37,'\nVisiting a lawyer for advice, the wife said, \"I want you to help me obtain a\ndivorce. My husband is getting a little queer to sleep with.\"\n\nWhat do you mean?\" asked the attorney. \"Does he force you to indulge\nin unusual sex practices?\"\n\n\"No, he doesn\'t,\" replied the woman, \"and neither does the little queer.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15087,37,'\nWell, it seems that there was this traveling saleswoman whose car broke\ndown, late at night, in the middle of a torrential downpour.  Hoping to\nfind a phone she ran to a nearby farmhouse.  When she was unable to find\na garage still open, the farmer told her that, while they were short of\nbeds, she could sleep with his daughter.  The daughter proved to eighteen\nand beautiful.  So they went to bed, and shortly afterward, the saleswoman\nrolled over toward the daughter and said, \"Dear, I\'m sure that you\'re aware\nthat some women like... to be with... other women.  Let me be frank...\"\n\t\"No!\" interrupted the daughter, sternly.  \"This time *I* want to\nbe Frank!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15088,37,'\n WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU MEET A QUEER PERSON:\n                        HINTS FOR HETEROSEXUALS\n \n \n1.      Do not run screaming from the room.  This is rude.\n \n2.      If you must back away, do so slowly and with discretion.\n \n3.      Do not assume she/he is attracted to you.\n \n4.      Do not assume he/she is not attracted to you.\n \n5.      Do not assume that you are not attracted to her/him.\n \n6.      Do not expect him/her to be as excited about meeting a straight\n        person as you may be about meeting a queer person.\n\t\t-- ae606@freenet.carleton.ca (Victoria Edwards)\n\t\t   [soc.women.lesbian-and-bi]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15089,37,'\nWomen\'s Libbers are OK.  I just wouldn\'t want my sister to marry one.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15090,37,'\nYou\'ll be a guest at a gay party that will have important consequences for you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15091,38,'A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.\n\t\t-- Groucho Marx\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15092,38,'\nA friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture.  You don\'t have to go.\nYou\'ll just be walking down the street and...  Ooohh, that\'s much better.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15093,38,'\nA large spider in an old house built a beautiful web in which to catch flies.\nEvery time a fly landed on the web and was entangled in it the spider devoured\nhim, so that when another fly came along he would think the web was a safe and\nquiet place in which to rest.  One day a fairly intelligent fly buzzed around\nabove the web so long without lighting that the spider appeared and said,\n\"Come on down.\"  But the fly was too clever for him and said, \"I never light\nwhere I don\'t see other flies and I don\'t see any other flies in your house.\"\nSo he flew away until he came to a place where there were a great many other\nflies.  He was about to settle down among them when a bee buzzed up and said,\n\"Hold it, stupid, that\'s flypaper.  All those flies are trapped.\"  \"Don\'t be\nsilly,\" said the fly, \"they\'re dancing.\"  So he settled down and became stuck\nto the flypaper with all the other flies.\n\nMoral:  There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.\n\t\t-- James Thurber, \"The Fairly Intelligent Fly\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15094,38,'\nA lot of people are afraid of heights.  Not me.  I\'m afraid of widths.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15095,38,'\n\tA MODERN FABLE\n\nAesop\'s fables and other traditional children\'s stories involve allegory\nfar too subtle for the youth of today.  Children need an updated message\nwith contemporary circumstance and plot line, and short enough to suit\ntoday\'s minute attention span.\n\n\tThe Troubled Aardvark\n\nOnce upon a time, there was an aardvark whose only pleasure in life was\ndriving from his suburban bungalow to his job at a large brokerage house\nin his brand new 4x4.  He hated his manipulative boss, his conniving and\nunethical co-workers, his greedy wife, and his snivelling, spoiled\nchildren.  One day, the aardvark reflected on the meaning of his life and\nhis career and on the unchecked, catastrophic decline of his nation, its\npathetic excuse for leadership, and the complete ineffectiveness of any\npersonal effort he could make to change the status quo.  Overcome by a\nwave of utter depression and self-doubt, he decided to take the only\ncourse of action that would bring him greater comfort and happiness: he\ndrove to the mall and bought imported consumer electronics goods.\n\nMORAL OF THE STORY:  Invest in foreign consumer electronics manufacturers.\n\t\t-- Tom Annau\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15096,38,'\nA possum must be himself, and being himself he is honest.\n\t\t-- Walt Kelly\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15097,38,'\n\"A power so great, it can only be used for Good or Evil!\"\n\t\t-- Firesign Theatre, \"The Giant Rat of Summatra\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15098,38,'\n\t\tAccidents cause History.\n\nIf Sigismund Unbuckle had taken a walk in 1426 and met Wat Tyler, the\nPeasant\'s Revolt would never have happened and the motor car would not\nhave been invented until 2026, which would have meant that all the oil\ncould have been used for lamps, thus saving the electric light bulb and\nthe whale, and nobody would have caught Moby Dick or Billy Budd.\n\t\t-- Mike Harding, \"The Armchair Anarchist\'s Almanac\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15099,38,'\nAll men are mortal.  Socrates was mortal.  Therefore, all men are Socrates.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15100,38,'\nAll of the people in my building are insane.  The guy above me designs\nsynthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.  The lady across the hall tried to\nrob a department store... with a pricing gun...  She said, \"Give me all\nof the money in the vault, or I\'m marking down everything in the store.\"\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15101,38,'\nAnd now for something completely different.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15102,38,'\nAnd now for something completely the same.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15103,38,'\n\t\"Are you sure you\'re not an encyclopedia salesman?\"\n\tNo, Ma\'am.  Just a burglar, come to ransack the flat.\"\n\t\t-- Monty Python\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15104,38,'\nAs the poet said, \"Only God can make a tree\" -- probably because it\'s\nso hard to figure out how to get the bark on.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15105,38,'\nBeing Ymor\'s right-hand man was like being gently flogged to death with\nscented bootlaces.\n\t\t-- Terry Pratchett, \"The Colour of Magic\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15106,38,'\nBernard Shaw is an excellent man; he has not an enemy in the world, and\nnone of his friends like him either.\n\t\t-- Oscar Wilde\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15107,38,'\n\"Boy, life takes a long time to live.\"\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15108,38,'\nBozo is the Brotherhood of Zips and Others.  Bozos are people who band\ntogether for fun and profit.  They have no jobs.  Anybody who goes on a\ntour is a Bozo. Why does a Bozo cross the street?  Because there\'s a Bozo\non the other side. It comes from the phrase vos otros, meaning others.\nThey\'re the huge, fat, middle waist.  The archetype is an Irish drunk\nclown with red hair and nose, and pale skin.  Fields, William Bendix.\nEverybody tends to drift toward Bozoness.  It has Oz in it.  They mean\nwell.  They\'re straight-looking except they\'ve got inflatable shoes.  They\nlike their comforts.  The Bozos have learned to enjoy their free time,\nwhich is all the time.\n\t\t-- Firesign Theatre, \"If Bees Lived Inside Your Head\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15109,38,'\nBut I always fired into the nearest hill or, failing that, into blackness.\nI meant no harm;  I just liked the explosions.  And I was careful never to\nkill more than I could eat.\n\t\t-- Raoul Duke\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15110,38,'\n\"But I don\'t like Spam!!!!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15111,38,'\n\t\"But I don\'t want to go on the cart...\"\n\t\"Oh, don\'t be such a baby!\"\n\t\"But I\'m feeling much better...\"\n\t\"No you\'re not... in a moment you\'ll be stone dead!\"\n\t\t-- Monty Python, \"The Holy Grail\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15112,38,'\nBypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to\npoint B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very\nfast.  People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are\noften given to wonder what\'s so great about point A that so many people\nfrom point B are so keen to get there and what\'s so great about point B\nthat so many people from point A are so keen to get _____\b\b\b\b\bthere.  They often\nwish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell\nthey wanted to be.\n\t\t-- Douglas Adams, \"The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15113,38,'\nComedy, like Medicine, was never meant to be practiced by the general public.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15114,38,'\nDeath didn\'t answer.  He was looking at Spold in the same way as a dog looks\nat a bone, only in this case things were more or less the other way around.\n\t\t-- Terry Pratchett, \"The Colour of Magic\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15115,38,'\nDecorate your home.  It gives the illusion that your life is more\ninteresting than it really is.\n\t\t-- C. Schulz\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15116,38,'\nDo you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he\njust whipped out a quarter?\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15117,38,'\n\"Don\'t come back until you have him\", the Tick-Tock Man said quietly,\nsincerely, extremely dangerously.\n\nThey used dogs.  They used probes.  They used cardio plate crossoffs.\nThey used teepers.  They used bribery.  They used stick tites.  They used\nintimidation.  They used torment.  They used torture.  They used finks.\nThey used cops.  They used search and seizure.  They used fallaron.  They\nused betterment incentives.  They used finger prints.  They used the\nbertillion system.  They used cunning.  They used guile.  They used treachery.\nThey used Raoul-Mitgong but he wasn\'t much help.  They used applied physics.\nThey used techniques of criminology.  And what the hell, they caught him.\n\t\t-- Harlan Ellison, \"Repent, Harlequin, said the Tick-Tock Man\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15118,38,'\nDon\'t take life so serious, son, it ain\'t nohow permanent.\n\t\t-- Walt Kelly\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15119,38,'\nDon\'t worry about the world coming to an end today.  It\'s already tomorrow\nin Australia.\n\t\t-- Charles Schulz\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15120,38,'\nEarly to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead.\n\t\t-- Terry Pratchett, \"The Light Fantastic\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15121,38,'\nEternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15122,38,'\nEternity is a terrible thought.  I mean, where\'s it going to end?\n\t\t-- Tom Stoppard\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15123,38,'\nEver since prehistoric times, wise men have tried to understand what,\nexactly, make people laugh.  That\'s why they were called \"wise men.\" All the\nother prehistoric people were out puncturing each other with spears, and the\nwise men were back in the cave saying: \"How about: Would you please take my\nwife?  No.  How about: Here is my wife, please take her right now.  No How\nabout: Would you like to take something? My wife is available.  No.  How\nabout ...\"\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Why Humor is Funny\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15124,38,'\nFar out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the\nWestern Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.\nOrbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an\nutterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life\nforms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches\nare a pretty neat idea ...\n\t\t-- Douglas Adams, \"The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15125,38,'\nFaster, faster, you fool, you fool!\n\t\t-- Bill Cosby\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15126,38,'\nFirst, a few words about tools.\n\nBasically, a tool is an object that enables you to take advantage of the\nlaws of physics and mechanics in such a way that you can seriously injure\nyourself.  Today, people tend to take tools for granted.  If you\'re ever\nwalking down the street and you notice some people who look particularly\nsmug, the odds are that they are taking tools for granted.  If I were you,\nI\'d walk right up and smack them in the face.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"The Taming of the Screw\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15127,38,'\nFor my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier...  I put them in\nthe same room and let them fight it out.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15128,38,'\nFrom the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed\nwith laughter.  Some day I intend reading it.\n\t\t-- Groucho Marx, from \"The Book of Insults\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15129,38,'\nGod is a comic playing to an audience that\'s afraid to laugh.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15130,38,'\nHe asked me if I knew what time it was -- I said yes, but not right now.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15131,38,'\n\"Here\'s something to think about:  How come you never see a headline like\n`Psychic Wins Lottery\'?\"\n\t\t-- Jay Leno\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15132,38,'\nHey, what do you expect from a culture that *drives* on *parkways* and\n*parks* on *driveways*?\n\t\t-- Gallagher\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15133,38,'\nHigh Priest:\tArmaments Chapter One, verses nine through twenty-seven:\nBro. Maynard:\tAnd Saint Attila raised the Holy Hand Grenade up on high\n\tsaying, \"Oh Lord, Bless us this Holy Hand Grenade, and with it\n\tsmash our enemies to tiny bits.\"  And the Lord did grin, and the\n\tpeople did feast upon the lambs, and stoats, and orangutans, and\n\tbreakfast cereals, and lima bean-\nHigh Priest:\tSkip a bit, brother.\nBro. Maynard:\tAnd then the Lord spake, saying: \"First, shalt thou take\n\tout the holy pin.  Then shalt thou count to three.  No more, no less.\n\t*Three* shall be the number of the counting, and the number of the\n\tcounting shall be three.  *Four* shalt thou not count, and neither\n\tcount thou two, excepting that thou then goest on to three.  Five is\n\tRIGHT OUT.  Once the number three, being the third number be reached,\n\tthen lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade towards thy foe, who, being\n\tnaughty in my sight, shall snuff it.  Amen.\nAll:\tAmen.\n\t\t-- Monty Python, \"The Holy Hand Grenade\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15134,38,'\n\"Humor is a drug which it\'s the fashion to abuse.\"\n\t\t-- William Gilbert\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15135,38,'\nHumorists always sit at the children\'s table.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15136,38,'\nI am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern\nunstoned.\n\t\t-- Ogden Nash, \"Everybody\'s Mind to Me a Kingdom Is\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15137,38,'\nI am getting into abstract painting.  Real abstract -- no brush, no canvas,\nI just think about it.  I just went to an art museum where all of the art\nwas done by children.  All the paintings were hung on refrigerators.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15138,38,'\nI am two with nature.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15139,38,'\nI argue very well.  Ask any of my remaining friends.  I can win an argument on\nany topic, against any opponent.  People know this, and steer clear of me at\nparties.  Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don\'t even invite me.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15140,38,'\n\t\"I assure you the thought never even crossed my mind, lord.\"\n\t\"Indeed?  Then if I were you I\'d sue my face for slander.\"\n\t\t-- Terry Pratchett, \"The Colour of Magic\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15141,38,'\nI base my fashion taste on what doesn\'t itch.\n\t\t-- Gilda Radner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15142,38,'\nI bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15143,38,'\nI cannot overemphasize the importance of good grammar.\n\nWhat a crock.  I could easily overemphasize the importance of good\ngrammar.  For example, I could say: \"Bad grammar is the leading cause\nof slow, painful death in North America,\" or \"Without good grammar, the\nUnited States would have lost World War II.\"\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"An Utterly Absurd Look at Grammar\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15144,38,'\n\"I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now\nwhen I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still ...\"\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15145,38,'\nI could dance with you till the cows come home.  On second thought, I\'d rather\ndance with the cows till you come home.\n\t\t-- Groucho Marx\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15146,38,'\nI don\'t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don\'t deserve that\neither.\n\t\t-- Jack Benny\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15147,38,'\nI don\'t get no respect.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15148,38,'\nI don\'t kill flies, but I like to mess with their minds.  I hold them above\nglobes.  They freak out and yell \"Whooa, I\'m *way* too high.\"\n\t\t-- Bruce Baum\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15149,38,'\nI don\'t want to live on in my work, I want to live on in my apartment.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15150,38,'\nI finally went to the eye doctor.  I got contacts.  I only need them to\nread, so I got flip-ups.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15151,38,'\n\"I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me... I\npushed \'1\' and he just stood there... I said \'Hi, where you going?\'  He\nsaid, \'Phoenix.\'  So I pushed Phoenix.  A few seconds later the doors\nopened, two tumbleweeds blew in... we were in downtown Phoenix.  I looked\nat him and said \'You know, you\'re the kind of guy I want to hang around\nwith.\'  We got into his car and drove out to his shack in the desert.\nThen the phone rang.  He said \'You get it.\'  I picked it up and said\n\'Hello?\'... the other side said \'Is this Steven Wright?\'... I said \'Yes...\'\nThe guy said \'Hi, I\'m Mr. Jones, the student loan director from your bank...\nIt seems you have missed your last 17 payments, and the university you\nattended said that they received none of the $17,000 we loaned you... we\nwould just like to know what happened to the money?\'  I said, \'Mr. Jones,\nI\'ll give it to you straight.  I gave all of the money to my friend Slick,\nand with it he built a nuclear weapon... and I would appreciate it if you never\ncalled me again.\"\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15152,38,'\nI got my driver\'s license photo taken out of focus on purpose.  Now\nwhen I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and\nfarther, trying to see it clearly)...  and says, \"Here, you can go.\"\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15153,38,'\nI got this powdered water -- now I don\'t know what to add.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15154,38,'\nI got tired of listening to the recording on the phone at the movie\ntheater.  So I bought the album.  I got kicked out of a theater the\nother day for bringing my own food in.  I argued that the concession\nstand prices were outrageous.  Besides, I hadn\'t had a barbecue in a\nlong time.  I went to the theater and the sign said adults $5 children\n$2.50.  I told them I wanted 2 boys and a girl.  I once took a cab to\na drive-in movie.  The movie cost me $95.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15155,38,'\nI had no shoes and I pitied myself.  Then I met a man who had no feet,\nso I took his shoes.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15156,38,'\nI hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day cause that means\nit\'s going to be up all night.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15157,38,'\nI have a box of telephone rings under my bed.  Whenever I get lonely, I\nopen it up a little bit, and I get a phone call.  One day I dropped the\nbox all over the floor.  The phone wouldn\'t stop ringing.  I had to get\nit disconnected.  So I got a new phone.  I didn\'t have much money, so I\nhad to get an irregular.  It doesn\'t have a five.  I ran into a friend\nof mine on the street the other day.  He said why don\'t you give me a\ncall.  I told him I can\'t call everybody I want to anymore, my phone\ndoesn\'t have a five.  He asked how long had it been that way.  I said I\ndidn\'t know -- my calendar doesn\'t have any sevens.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15158,38,'\nI have a dog; I named him Stay.  So when I\'d go to call him, I\'d say, \"Here,\nStay, here...\" but he got wise to that.  Now when I call him he ignores me\nand just keeps on typing.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15159,38,'\nI have a friend whose a billionaire.  He invented Cliff\'s notes.  When\nI asked him how he got such a great idea he said, \"Well first I...\nI just... to make a long story short...\"\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15160,38,'\nI have a hobby.  I have the world\'s largest collection of sea shells.  I keep\nit scattered on beaches all over the world.  Maybe you\'ve seen some of it.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15161,38,'\nI have a map of the United States.  It\'s actual size.  I spent last summer\nfolding it.  People ask me where I live, and I say, \"E6\".\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15162,38,'\nI have a rock garden.  Last week three of them died.\n\t\t-- Richard Diran\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15163,38,'\nI have a switch in my apartment that doesn\'t do anything.  Every once\nin a while I turn it on and off.  On and off.  On and off.  One day I\ngot a call from a woman in France who said \"Cut it out!\"\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15164,38,'\nI have an existential map.  It has \"You are here\" written all over it.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15165,38,'\nI just got out of the hospital after a speed reading accident.\nI hit a bookmark.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15166,38,'\nI know the answer!  The answer lies within the heart of all mankind!\nThe answer is twelve?  I think I\'m in the wrong building.\n\t\t-- Charles Schulz\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15167,38,'\nI look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic.  I may not get\nthere, but I\'m going first class.\n\t\t-- Art Buchwald\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15168,38,'\n\"I love Saturday morning cartoons, what classic humour!  This is what\nentertainment is all about ... Idiots, explosives and falling anvils.\"\n\t\t-- Calvin and Hobbes, Bill Watterson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15169,38,'\nI met my latest girl friend in a department store.  She was looking at\nclothes, and I was putting Slinkys on the escalators.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15170,38,'\nI never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll make an exception.\n\t\t-- Groucho Marx\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15171,38,'\nI poured spot remover on my dog.  Now he\'s gone.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15172,38,'\nI put contact lenses in my dog\'s eyes.  They had little pictures of cats\non them.  Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15173,38,'\nI put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15174,38,'\n\t\"I said I hope it is a good party,\" said Galder, loudly.\n\t\"AT THE MOMENT IT IS,\" said Death levelly.  \"I THINK IT MIGHT GO\nDOWNHILL VERY QUICKLY AT MIDNIGHT.\"\n\t\"Why?\"\n\t\"THAT\'S WHEN THEY THINK I\'LL BE TAKING MY MASK OFF.\"\n\t\t-- Terry Pratchett, \"The Light Fantastic\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15175,38,'\nI saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15176,38,'\nI should have been a country-western singer.  After all, I\'m older than\nmost western countries.\n\t\t-- George Burns\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15177,38,'\nI sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers -- they\'re going\nto make a game out of it.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15178,38,'\nI stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards.  I got a full\nhouse and four people died.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15179,38,'\nI suggest you locate your hot tub outside your house, so it won\'t do too\nmuch damage if it catches fire or explodes.  First you decide which\ndirection your hot tub should face for maximum solar energy.  After much\ntrial and error, I have found that the best direction for a hot tub to face\nis up.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"The Taming of the Screw\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15180,38,'\nI tell ya, gambling never agreed with me.  Last week I went to the track\nand they shot my horse with the opening gun.\n\nWell, just last week I was at a Chinese restaurant and when I opened my\nfortune cookie I found the guy\'s check sitting at the next table.  I said,\n\"Hey, buddy, I got your check\", he said, \"Thanks.\"\n\t\t-- Rodney Dangerfield\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15181,38,'\nI think we\'re all Bozos on this bus.\n\t\t-- Firesign Theatre\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15182,38,'\nI thought there was something fishy about the butler.  Probably a Pisces,\nworking for scale.\n\t\t-- Firesign Theatre, \"The Further Adventures of Nick Danger\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15183,38,'\nI took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in\ntwenty minutes.\n\nIt\'s about Russia.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15184,38,'\nI turned my air conditioner the other way around, and it got cold out.\nThe weatherman said \"I don\'t understand it.  I was supposed to be 80\ndegrees today,\" and I said \"Oops.\"\n\nIn my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so\nI never have to go upstairs.\n\nI just bought a microwave fireplace... You can spend an evening in\nfront of it in only eight minutes.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15185,38,'\nI used to live in a house by the freeway.  When I went anywhere, I had\nto be going 65 MPH by the end of my driveway.\n\nI replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights.  Now it looks\nlike I\'m the only one moving.\n\nI was pulled over for speeding today.  The officer said, \"Don\'t you know\nthe speed limit is 55 miles an hour?\"  And I said, \"Yes, but I wasn\'t going\nto be out that long.\"\n\nI put a new engine in my car, but didn\'t take the old one out.  Now\nmy car goes 500 miles an hour.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15186,38,'\nI used to work in a fire hydrant factory.  You couldn\'t park anywhere near\nthe place.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15187,38,'\nI was at this restaurant.  The sign said \"Breakfast Anytime.\"  So I\nordered French Toast in the Rennaissance.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15188,38,'\n\"I was drunk last night, crawled home across the lawn.  By accident I\nput the car key in the door lock.  The house started up.  So I figured\nwhat the hell, and drove it around the block a few times.  I thought I\nshould go park it in the middle of the freeway and yell at everyone to\nget off my driveway.\"\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15189,38,'\nI was in a bar and I walked up to a beautiful woman and said, \"Do you live\naround here often?\"  She said, \"You\'re wearing two different-color socks.\"\nI said, \"Yes, but to me they\'re the same because I go by thickness.\"\nShe said, \"How do you feel?\" And I said, \"You know when you\'re sitting on a\nchair and you lean back so you\'re just on two legs and you lean too far so\nyou almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself?  I feel like\nthat all the time...\"\n\t\t-- Steven Wright, \"Gentlemen\'s Quarterly\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15190,38,'\nI was in Vegas last week. I was at the roulette table, having a lengthy\nargument about what I considered an Odd number.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15191,38,'\nI was the best I ever had.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15192,38,'\n\"I went into a general store, and they wouldn\'t sell me anything specific\".\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15193,38,'\n\"I went to a job interview the other day, the guy asked me if I had any\nquestions , I said yes, just one, if you\'re in a car traveling at the\nspeed of light and you turn your headlights on, does anything happen?\n\nHe said he couldn\'t answer that, I told him sorry, but I couldn\'t work\nfor him then.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15194,38,'\n\"I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the\nstatues that are in all the other museums.\"\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15195,38,'\nI woke up this morning and discovered that everything in my apartment\nhad been stolen and replaced with an exact replica.  I told my roommate,\n\"Isn\'t this amazing?  Everything in the apartment has been stolen and\nreplaced with an exact replica.\"  He said, \"Do I know you?\"\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15196,38,'\nI worked in a health food store once.  A guy came in and asked me,\n\"If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?\"\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15197,38,'\nI\'d horsewhip you if I had a horse.\n\t\t-- Groucho Marx\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15198,38,'\nI\'D LIKE TO BE BURIED INDIAN-STYLE, where they put you up on a high rack,\nabove the ground.  That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even\nfeel it.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15199,38,'\nI\'d never join any club that would have the likes of me as a member.\n\t\t-- Groucho Marx\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15200,38,'\nI\'ll be comfortable on the couch.  Famous last words.\n\t\t-- Lenny Bruce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15201,38,'\nI\'m going to Boston to see my doctor.  He\'s a very sick man.\n\t\t-- Fred Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15202,38,'\nI\'m going to give my psychoanalyst one more year, then I\'m going to Lourdes.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15203,38,'\nI\'m going to live forever, or die trying!\n\t\t-- Spider Robinson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15204,38,'\nI\'m not afraid of death -- I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15205,38,'\nI\'ve had a perfectly wonderful evening.  But this wasn\'t it.\n\t\t-- Groucho Marx\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15206,38,'\nIf God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would\nhave made them cute and furry. \n\t\t-- Dave Barry\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15207,38,'\nIf only Dionysus were alive!  Where would he eat?\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15208,38,'\nIf only God would give me some clear sign!  Like making a large deposit\nin my name at a Swiss bank.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen, \"Without Feathers\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15209,38,'\nIf you live to the age of a hundred you have it made because very few\npeople die past the age of a hundred.\n\t\t-- George Burns\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15210,38,'\nIf you throw a New Year\'s Party, the worst thing that you can do would be\nto throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to\nsay they had a nice time.  Now you\'ll be be expected to throw another party\nnext year.\n\tWhat you should do is throw the kind of party where your guest wake\nup several days from now and call their lawyers to find out if they\'ve been\nindicted for anything.  You want your guests to be so anxious to avoid a\nrecurrence of your party that they immediately start planning parties of their\nown, a year in advance, just to prevent you from having another one ...\n\tIf your party is successful, the police will knock on your door,\nunless your party is very successful in which case they will lob tear gas\nthrough your living room window.  As host, your job is to make sure that\nthey don\'t arrest anybody.  Or if they\'re dead set on arresting someone,\nyour job is to make sure it isn\'t you ...\n\t\t-- Dave Barry\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15211,38,'\nIf you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15212,38,'\nIf you\'ve done six impossible things before breakfast, why not round it\noff with dinner at Milliway\'s, the restaurant at the end of the universe?\n\t\t-- Douglas Adams, \"The Restaurant at the End of the Universe\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15213,38,'\nIn America today ... we have Woody Allen, whose humor has become so\nsophisticated that nobody gets it any more except Mia Farrow.  All those who\nthink Mia Farrow should go back to making movies where the devil gets her\npregnant and Woody Allen should go back to dressing up as a human sperm,\nplease raise your hands.  Thank you.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Why Humor is Funny\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15214,38,'\nIn like a dimwit, out like a light.\n\t\t-- Pogo\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15215,38,'\nIs it weird in here, or is it just me?\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15216,38,'\nIt is an important and popular fact that things are not always what\nthey seem.  For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed\nthat he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so\nmuch -- the wheel, New York, wars and so on -- whilst all the dolphins\nhad ever done was muck about in the water having a good time.  But\nconversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more\nintelligent than man -- for precisely the same reasons.\n\nCuriously enough, the dolphins had long known of the impending\ndestruction of the of the planet Earth and had made many attempts to\nalert mankind to the danger; but most of their communications were\nmisinterpreted ...\n\t\t-- Douglas Admas \"The Hitchhikers\' Guide To The Galaxy\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15217,38,'\nIt is impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15218,38,'\nIt isn\'t necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be\nunhappy.\n\t\t-- Groucho Marx\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15219,38,'\nIt looked like something resembling white marble, which was\nprobably what it was: something resembling white marble.\n\t\t-- Douglas Adams, \"The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15220,38,'\nIt\'s a small world, but I wouldn\'t want to have to paint it.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15221,38,'\nIt\'s hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa.\n\t\t-- Groucho Marx\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15222,38,'\nIt\'s not that I\'m afraid to die. I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15223,38,'\nLast night the power went out.  Good thing my camera had a flash....\nThe neighbors thought it was lightning in my house, so they called the cops.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15224,38,'\nLast year we drove across the country...  We switched on the driving...\nevery half mile.  We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip.\nI don\'t remember what it was.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15225,38,'\nLife is divided into the horrible and the miserable.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen, \"Annie Hall\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15226,38,'\nLife is wasted on the living.\n\t\t-- The Restaurant at the Edge of the Universe.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15227,38,'\nLike you,  I am frequently haunted by profound questions related to man\'s\nplace in the Scheme of Things.  Here are just a few:\n\n\tQ -- Is there life after death?\n\tA -- Definitely.  I speak from personal experience here.  On New\nYear\'s Eve, 1970, I drank a full pitcher of a drink called \"Black Russian\",\nthen crawled out on the lawn and died within a matter of minutes, which was\nfine with me because I had come to realize that if I had lived I would have\nspent the rest of my life in the grip of the most excruciatingly painful\nheadache.  Thanks to the miracle of modern orange juice, I was brought back\nto life several days later, but in the interim I was definitely dead.  I\nguess my main impression of the afterlife is that it isn\'t so bad as long\nas you keep the television turned down and don\'t try to eat any solid foods.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15228,38,'\nMan 1:\tAsk me the what the most important thing about telling a good joke is.\n\nMan 2:\tOK, what is the most impo --\n\nMan 1:\t______\b\b\b\b\b\bTIMING!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15229,38,'\n\t\"Many have seen Topaxci, God of the Red Mushroom, and they earn the\nname of shaman,\" he said.  Some have seen Skelde, spirit of the smoke, and\nthey are called sorcerers.  A few have been privileged to see Umcherrel, the\nsoul of the forest, and they are known as spirit masters.  But none have\nseen a box with hundreds of legs that looked at them without eyes, and they\nare known as idio--\"\n\tThe interruption was caused by a sudden screaming noise and a flurry\nof snow and sparks that blew the fire across the dark hut; there was a brief\nblurred vision and then the opposite wall was blasted aside and the\napparition vanished.\n\tThere was a long silence.  Then a slightly shorter silence.  Then\nthe old shaman said carefully, \"You didn\'t just see two men go through\nupside down on a broomstick, shouting and screaming at each other, did you?\"\n\tThe boy looked at him levelly.  \"Certainly not,\" he said.\n\tThe old man heaved a sigh of relief.  \"Thank goodness for that,\" he\nsaid.  \"Neither did I.\"\n\t\t-- Terry Pratchett, \"The Light Fantastic\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15230,38,'\nMany years ago in a period commonly know as Next Friday Afternoon,\nthere lived a King who was very Gloomy on Tuesday mornings because he\nwas so Sad thinking about how Unhappy he had been on Monday and how\ncompletely Mournful he would be on Wednesday....\n\t\t-- Walt Kelly\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15231,38,'\nMy brother sent me a postcard the other day with this big satellite photo\nof the entire earth on it. On the back it said: \"Wish you were here\".\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15232,38,'\nMy friend has a baby.  I\'m writing down all the noises he makes so\nlater I can ask him what he meant.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15233,38,'\n\tMy friends, I am here to tell you of the wonderous continent known as\nAfrica.  Well we left New York drunk and early on the morning of February 31.\nWe were 15 days on the water, and 3 on the boat when we finally arrived in\nAfrica.  Upon our arrival we immediately set up a rigorous schedule:  Up at\n6:00, breakfast, and back in bed by 7:00.  Pretty soon we were back in bed by\n6:30.  Now Africa is full of big game.  The first day I shot two bucks.  That\nwas the biggest game we had.  Africa is primerally inhabited by Elks, Moose\nand Knights of Pithiests.\n\tThe elks live up in the mountains and come down once a year for their\nannual conventions.  And you should see them gathered around the water hole,\nwhich they leave immediately when they discover it\'s full of water.  They\nweren\'t looking for a water hole.  They were looking for an alck hole.\n\tOne morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas, how he got in my\npajamas, I don\'t know.  Then we tried to remove the tusks.  That\'s a tough\nword to say, tusks.  As I said we tried to remove the tusks, but they were\nimbedded so firmly we couldn\'t get them out.  But in Alabama the Tuscaloosa,\nbut that is totally irrelephant to what I was saying.\n\tWe took some pictures of the native girls, but they weren\'t developed.\nSo we\'re going back in a few years...\n\t\t-- Julius H. Marx [Groucho]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15234,38,'\nNietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again.\nGod -- I\'ll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen, \"Hannah and Her Sisters\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15235,38,'\nNirvana?  That\'s the place where the powers that be and their friends hang out.\n\t\t-- Zonker Harris\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15236,38,'\nNOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15237,38,'\nNow is the time for all good men to come to.\n\t\t-- Walt Kelly\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15238,38,'\n\tObviously the subject of death was in the air, but more as something\nto be avoided than harped upon.\n\tPossibly the horror that Zaphod experienced at the prospect of being\nreunited with his deceased relatives led on to the thought that they might\njust feel the same way about him and, what\'s more, be able to do something\nabout helping to postpone this reunion.\n\t\t-- Douglas Adams\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15239,38,'\nOne doesn\'t have a sense of humor.  It has you.\n\t\t-- Larry Gelbart\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15240,38,'\nOutside of a dog, a book is a man\'s best friend.  Inside a dog it\'s too\ndark to read.\n\t\t-- Groucho Marx\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15241,38,'\nPuns are little \"plays on words\" that a certain breed of person loves to\nspring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to\nindicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest\nperson on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you\nare thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a lifeboat, the other\npassengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they\nhave plenty of food and water.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Why Humor is Funny\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15242,38,'\n\"Right now I\'m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.\"\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15243,38,'\nRincewind formed a mental picture of some strange entity living in a castle\nmade of teeth.  It was the kind of mental picture you tried to forget.\nUnsuccessfully.\n\t\t-- Terry Pratchett, \"The Light Fantastic\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15244,38,'\nRomeo wasn\'t bilked in a day.\n\t\t-- Walt Kelly, \"Ten Ever-Lovin\' Blue-Eyed Years With Pogo\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15245,38,'\nSharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off\nduring games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Sex and the Single Amoeba: What Every\n\t\t   Teen Should Know\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15246,38,'\nShowing up is 80');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15247,38,' of life.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15248,38,'\nSome of you ... may have decided that, this year, you\'re going to celebrate\nit the old-fashioned way, with your family sitting around stringing\ncranberries and exchanging humble, handmade gifts, like on \"The Waltons\".\nWell, you can forget it.  If everybody pulled that kind of subversive stunt,\nthe economy would collapse overnight.  The government would have to\nintervene: it would form a cabinet-level Department of Holiday Gift-Giving,\nwhich would spend billions and billions of tax dollars to buy Barbie dolls\nand electronic games, which it would drop on the populace from Air Force\njets, killing and maiming thousands.  So, for the good of the nation, you\nshould go along with the Holiday Program.  This means you should get a large\nsum of money and go to a mall.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Christmas Shopping: A Survivor\'s Guide\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15249,38,'\nSOMETIMES THE BEAUTY OF THE WORLD is so overwhelming, I just want to throw\nback my head and gargle.  Just gargle and gargle and I don\'t care who hears\nme because I am beautiful.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15250,38,'\nThank goodness modern convenience is a thing of the remote future.\n\t\t-- Pogo, by Walt Kelly\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15251,38,'\nThe basic idea behind malls is that they are more convenient than cities.\nCities contain streets, which are dangerous and crowded and difficult to\npark in.  Malls, on the other hand, have parking lots, which are also\ndangerous and crowded and difficult to park in, but -- here is the big\ndifference -- in mall parking lots, THERE ARE NO RULES.  You\'re allowed to\ndo anything.  You can drive as fast as you want in any direction you want.\nI was once driving in a mall parking lot when my car was struck by a pickup\ntruck being driven backward by a squat man with a tattoo that said \"Charlie\"\non his forearm, who got out and explained to me, in great detail, why the\naccident was my fault, his reasoning being that he was violent and muscular,\nwhereas I was neither.  This kind of reasoning is legally valid in mall\nparking lots.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Christmas Shopping: A Survivor\'s Guide\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15252,38,'\nThe best cure for insomnia is to get a  lot of sleep.\n\t\t-- W. C. Fields\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15253,38,'\nThe best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them\nis a match.\n\t\t-- Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15254,38,'\nThe buffalo isn\'t as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be.\nStatistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in\nautomobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.\n\t\t-- Art Buchwald\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15255,38,'\nThe grand leap of the whale up the Fall of Niagara is esteemed, by all\nwho have seen it, as one of the finest spectacles in nature.\n\t\t-- Benjamin Franklin.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15256,38,'\n\tThe Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on\nthe subject of towels.\n\tMost importantly, a towel has immense psychological value.  For\nsome reason, if a non-hitchhiker discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel\nwith him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a\ntoothbrush, washcloth, flask, gnat spray, space suit, etc., etc.  Furthermore,\nthe non-hitchhiker will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or\na dozen other items that he may have \"lost\".  After all, any man who can\nhitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, struggle against terrible odds,\nwin through and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be\nreckoned with.\n\t\t-- Douglas Adams, \"The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15257,38,'\nThe other day I... uh, no, that wasn\'t me.\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15258,38,'\n\t\"The pyramid is opening!\"\n\t\"Which one?\"\n\t\"The one with the ever-widening hole in it!\"\n\t\t-- Firesign Theater, \"How Can You Be In Two Places At\n\t\t   Once When You\'re Not Anywhere At All\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15259,38,'\n\t\tThe Three Major Kind of Tools\n\n* Tools for hittings things to make them loose or to tighten them up or\njar their many complex, sophisticated electrical parts in such a\nmanner that they function perfectly.  (These are your hammers, maces,\nbludgeons, and truncheons.)\n\n* Tools that, if dropped properly, can penetrate your foot.  (Awls)\n\n* Tools that nobody should ever use because the potential danger is far\ngreater than the value of any project that could possibly result.\n(Power saws, power drills, power staplers, any kind of tool that uses\nany kind of power more advanced than flashlight batteries.)\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"The Taming of the Screw\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15260,38,'\nThere comes a time in the affairs of a man when he has to take the bull\nby the tail and face the situation.\n\t\t-- W.C. Fields\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15261,38,'\nThere\'s no easy quick way out, we\'re gonna have to live through our\nwhole lives, win, lose, or draw.\n\t\t-- Walt Kelly\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15262,38,'\nThere\'s so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is\nbecoming an endangered synthetic.\n\t\t-- Lily Tomlin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15263,38,'\nThings will get better despite our efforts to improve them.\n\t\t-- Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15264,38,'\nThis land is full of trousers!\nthis land is full of mausers!\n\tAnd pussycats to eat them when the sun goes down!\n\t\t-- Firesign Theater\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15265,38,'\nTime is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.\n\t\t-- The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15266,38,'\nTOO BAD YOU CAN\'T BUY a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin\nreal fast and freak everybody out.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15267,38,'\nTwenty Percent of Zero is Better than Nothing.\n\t\t-- Walt Kelly\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15268,38,'\nWe have met the enemy, and he is us.\n\t\t-- Walt Kelly\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15269,38,'\nWe is confronted with insurmountable opportunities.\n\t\t-- Walt Kelly, \"Pogo\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15270,38,'\nWhat if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?  In that case, I\ndefinitely overpaid for my carpet.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen, \"Without Feathers\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15271,38,'\nWhat if nothing exists and we\'re all in somebody\'s dream?  Or what\'s worse,\nwhat if only that fat guy in the third row exists?\n\t\t-- Woody Allen, \"Without Feathers\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15272,38,'\nWhat is comedy?  Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making\nthem puke.\n\t\t-- Steve Martin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15273,38,'\n\t\"What shall we do?\" said Twoflower.\n\t\"Panic?\" said Rincewind hopefully.  He always held that panic was\nthe best means of survival; back in the olden days, his theory went, people\nfaced with hungry sabretoothed tigers could be divided very simply into\nthose who panicked and those who stood there saying \"What a magnificent\nbrute!\" and \"Here, pussy.\"\n\t\t-- Terry Pratchett, \"The Light Fantastic\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15274,38,'\nWhat\'s another word for \"thesaurus\"?\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15275,38,'\nWhen I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if\nI had any firearms with me.  I said, \"Well, what do you need?\"\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15276,38,'\nWhen I was little, I went into a pet shop and they asked how big I\'d get.\n\t\t-- Rodney Dangerfield\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15277,38,'\nWhen I woke up this morning, my girlfriend asked if I had slept well.\nI said, \"No, I made a few mistakes.\"\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15278,38,'\nWhere humor is concerned there are no standards -- no one can say what\nis good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.\n\t\t-- John Kenneth Galbraith\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15279,38,'\nWhy is the alphabet in that order?  Is it because of that song?\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15280,38,'\nWill Rogers never met you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15281,38,'\nWinny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity...\nIf you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your\nhead... if you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick...\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15282,38,'\nWould you *______\b\b\b\b\b\breally* want to get on a non-stop flight?\n\t\t-- George Carlin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15283,38,'\nYou can\'t have everything.  Where would you put it?\n\t\t-- Steven Wright\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15284,38,'\n\t\"You know, it\'s at times like this when I\'m trapped in a Vogon\nairlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in\ndeep space that I really wish I\'d listened to what my mother told me\nwhen I was young!\"\n\t\"Why, what did she tell you?\"\n\t\"I don\'t know, I didn\'t listen.\"\n\t\t-- Douglas Adams, \"The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15285,38,'\nYou may already be a loser.\n\t\t-- Form letter received by Rodney Dangerfield.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15286,38,'\nYou\'d better beat it.  You can leave in a taxi.  If you can\'t get a taxi, you\ncan leave in a huff.  If that\'s too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff.\n\t\t-- Groucho Marx\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15287,38,'\nYou\'re a good example of why some animals eat their young.\n\t\t-- Jim Samuels to a heckler\n\nAh, yes.  I remember my first beer.\n\t\t-- Steve Martin to a heckler\n\nWhen your IQ rises to 28, sell.\n\t\t-- Professor Irwin Corey to a heckler\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15288,39,'A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no\nresponsibility at the other.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15289,39,'\nA baby is God\'s opinion that the world should go on.\n\t\t-- Carl Sandburg\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15290,39,'\nA child of five could understand this!  Fetch me a child of five.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15291,39,'\nA kid\'ll eat the middle of an Oreo, eventually.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15292,39,'\nA little kid went up to Santa and asked him, \"Santa, you know when I\'m bad\nright?\"  And Santa says, \"Yes, I do.\"  The little kid then asks, \"And you\nknow when I\'m sleeping?\" To which Santa replies, \"Every minute.\" So the\nlittle kid then says, \"Well, if you know when I\'m bad and when I\'m good,\nthen how come you don\'t know what I want for Christmas?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15293,39,'\n\tA young married couple had their first child.  Their original pride\nand joy slowly turned to concern however, for after a couple of years the\nchild had never uttered any form of speech.  They hired the best speech\ntherapists, doctors, psychiatrists, all to no avail.  The child simply refused\nto speak.  One morning when the child was five, while the husband was reading\nthe paper, and the wife was feeding the dog, the little kid looks up from\nhis bowl and said, \"My cereal\'s cold.\"\n\tThe couple is stunned.  The man, in tears, confronts his son.  \"Son,\nafter all these years, why have you waited so long to say something?\".\n\tShrugs the kid, \"Everything\'s been okay \'til now\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15294,39,'\nAbout the only thing we have left that actually discriminates in favor of\nthe plain people is the stork.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15295,39,'\nAdam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was, that they escaped\nteething.\n\t\t-- Mark Twain, \"Pudd\'nhead Wilson\'s Calendar\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15296,39,'\nAdopted kids are such a pain -- you have to teach them how to look like you ...\n\t\t-- Gilda Radner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15297,39,'\n\tAfter watching an extremely attractive maternity-ward patient\nearnestly thumbing her way through a telephone directory for several \nminutes, a hospital orderly finally asked if he could be of some help.\n\t\"No, thanks,\" smiled the young mother, \"I\'m just looking for a\nname for my baby.\"\n\t\"But the hospital supplies a special booklet that lists hundreds\nof first names and their meanings,\" said the orderly.\n\t\"That won\'t help,\" said the woman, \"my baby already has a first name.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15298,39,'\nAnd he climbed with the lad up the Eiffelberg Tower.  \"This,\" cried the Mayor,\n\"is your town\'s darkest hour!  The time for all Whos who have blood that is red\nto come to the aid of their country!\" he said.  \"We\'ve GOT to make noises in\ngreater amounts!  So, open your mouth, lad!  For every voice counts!\"  Thus he\nspoke as he climbed.  When they got to the top, the lad cleared his throat and\nhe shouted out, \"YOPP!\" \n\tAnd that Yopp...  That one last small, extra Yopp put it over!\nFinally, at last!  From the speck on that clover their voices were heard!\nThey rang out clear and clean.  And they elephant smiled.  \"Do you see what\nI mean?\" They\'ve proved they ARE persons, no matter how small.  And their\nwhole world was saved by the smallest of All!\"\n\t\"How true!  Yes, how true,\" said the big kangaroo.  \"And, from now\non, you know what I\'m planning to do?  From now on, I\'m going to protect\nthem with you!\"  And the young kangaroo in her pouch said, \"ME TOO!  From\nthe sun in the summer.  From rain when it\'s fall-ish, I\'m going to protect\nthem.  No matter how small-ish!\"\n\t\t-- Dr. Seuss \"Horton Hears a Who\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15299,39,'\nAny father who thinks he\'s all important should remind himself that this\ncountry honors fathers only one day a year while pickles get a whole week.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15300,39,'\nAnyone who uses the phrase \"easy as taking candy from a baby\" has never\ntried taking candy from a baby.\n\t\t-- Robin Hood\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15301,39,'\nAre you a parent?  Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to\nsay in those awkward situations?  Worry no more...\n\n\tAre you sure you\'re telling the truth?  Think hard.\n\tDoes it make you happy to know you\'re sending me to an early grave?\n\tIf all your friends jumped off the cliff, would you jump too?\n\tDo you feel bad?  How do you think I feel?\n\tAren\'t you ashamed of yourself?\n\tDon\'t you know any better?\n\tHow could you be so stupid?\n\tIf that\'s the worst pain you\'ll ever feel, you should be thankful.\n\tYou can\'t fool me.  I know what you\'re thinking.\n\tIf you can\'t say anything nice, say nothing at all.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15302,39,'\nAre you a parent?  Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to\nsay in those awkward situations?  Worry no more...\n\n\tDo as I say, not as I do.\n\tDo me a favour and don\'t tell me about it.  I don\'t want to know.\n\tWhat did you do *this* time?\n\tIf it didn\'t taste bad, it wouldn\'t be good for you.\n\tWhen I was your age...\n\tI won\'t love you if you keep doing that.\n\tThink of all the starving children in India.\n\tIf there\'s one thing I hate, it\'s a liar.\n\tI\'m going to kill you.\n\tWay to go, clumsy.\n\tIf you don\'t like it, you can lump it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15303,39,'\nAre you a parent?  Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to\nsay in those awkward situations?  Worry no more...\n\n\tGo away.  You bother me.\n\tWhy?   Because life is unfair.\n\tThat\'s a nice drawing.  What is it?\n\tChildren should be seen and not heard.\n\tYou\'ll be the death of me.\n\tYou\'ll understand when you\'re older.\n\tBecause.\n\tWipe that smile off your face.\n\tI don\'t believe you.\n\tHow many times have I told you to be careful?\n\tJust beacuse.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15304,39,'\nAre you a parent?  Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to\nsay in those awkward situations?  Worry no more...\n\n\tGood children always obey.\n\tQuit acting so childish.\n\tBoys don\'t cry.\n\tIf you keep making faces, someday it\'ll freeze that way.\n\tWhy do you have to know so much?\n\tThis hurts me more than it hurts you.\n\tWhy?  Because I\'m bigger than you.\n\tWell, you\'ve ruined everything.  Now are you happy?\n\tOh, grow up.\n\tI\'m only doing this because I love you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15305,39,'\nAre you a parent?  Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to\nsay in those awkward situations?  Worry no more...\n\n\tWhen are you going to grow up?\n\tI\'m only doing this for your own good.\n\tWhy are you crying?  Stop crying, or I\'ll give you something to\n\t\tcry about.\n\tWhat\'s wrong with you?\n\tSomeday you\'ll thank me for this.\n\tYou\'d lose your head if it weren\'t attached.\n\tDon\'t you have any sense at all?\n\tIf you keep sucking your thumb, it\'ll fall off.\n\tWhy?  Because I said so.\n\tI hope you have a kid just like yourself.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15306,39,'\nAre you a parent?  Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to\nsay in those awkward situations?  Worry no more...\n\n\tYou wouldn\'t understand.\n\tYou ask too many questions.\n\tIn order to be a man, you have to learn to follow orders.\n\tThat\'s for me to know and you to find out.\n\tDon\'t let those bullies push you around.  Go in there and stick\n\t\tup for yourself.\n\tYou\'re acting too big for your britches.\n\tWell, you broke it.  Now are you satisfied?\n\tWait till your father gets home.\n\tBored?  If you\'re bored, I\'ve got some chores for you.\n\tShape up or ship out.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15307,39,'\nArticle the Third:\n\tWhere a crime of the kidneys has been committed, the accused should\n\tenjoy the right to a speedy diaper change.  Public announcements and\n\tguided tours of the aforementioned are not necessary.\nArticle the Fourth:\n\tThe decision to eat strained lamb or not should be with the \"feedee\"\n\tand not the \"feeder\".  Blowing the strained lamb into the feeder\'s\n\tface should be accepted as an opinion, not as a declaration of war.\nArticle the Fifth:\n\tBabies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize, whether it be in church,\n\ta public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours when the\n\tlights are out.  They have not yet learned that joy and laughter have\n\tto last a lifetime and must be conserved.\n\t\t-- Erma Bombeck, \"A Baby\'s Bill of Rights\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15308,39,'\nBeat your son every day; you may not know why, but he will.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15309,39,'\nBecause we don\'t think about future generations, they will never forget us.\n\t\t-- Henrik Tikkanen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15310,39,'\nBilly:\tMom, you know that vase you said was handed down from\n\tgeneration to generation?\nMom:\tYes?\nBilly:\tWell, this generation dropped it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15311,39,'\nBreast Feeding should not be attempted by fathers with hairy chests,\nsince they can make the baby sneeze and give it wind.\n\t\t-- Mike Harding, \"The Armchair Anarchist\'s Almanac\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15312,39,'\n\tCatching his children with their hands in the new, still wet, patio,\nthe father spanked them.  His wife asked, \"Don\'t you love your children?\"\n\"In the abstract, yes, but not in the concrete.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15313,39,'\nCatproof is an oxymoron, childproof nearly so.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15314,39,'\nChildren are like cats, they can tell when you don\'t like them.  That\'s\nwhen they come over and violate your body space.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15315,39,'\nChildren are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every\neffort to teach them good manners.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15316,39,'\nChildren are unpredictable.  You never know what inconsistency they\'re\ngoing to catch you in next.\n\t\t-- Franklin P. Jones\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15317,39,'\nChildren begin by loving their parents.  After a time they judge them.\nRarely, if ever, do they forgive them.\n\t\t-- Oscar Wilde\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15318,39,'\nChildren seldom misquote you.  In fact, they usually repeat word for\nword what you shouldn\'t have said.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15319,39,'\nChildren\'s talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.\n\t\t-- Maya Angelou, \"I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15320,39,'\nCleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling\nthe walk before it stops snowing.\n\t\t-- Phyllis Diller\n\nThere is no need to do any housework at all.  After the first four years\nthe dirt doesn\'t get any worse.\n\t\t-- Quentin Crisp\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15321,39,'\nDelusions are often functional. A mother\'s opinions about her children\'s\nbeauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning\nthem at birth.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15322,39,'\nDo not handicap your children by making their lives easy.\n\t\t-- Robert Heinlein\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15323,39,'\nFertility is hereditary.  If your parents didn\'t have any children,\nneither will you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15324,39,'\nFor adult education nothing beats children.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15325,39,'\nFor children with short attention spans: boomerangs that don\'t come back.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15326,39,'\nFORTUNE REMEMBERS THE GREAT MOTHERS: #5\n\n\t\"And, and, and, and, but, but, but, but!\"\n\t\t-- Mrs. Janice Markowsky, April 8, 1965\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15327,39,'\nFORTUNE REMEMBERS THE GREAT MOTHERS: #6\n\n\t\"Johnny, if you fall and break your leg, don\'t come running to me!\"\n\t\t-- Mrs. Emily Barstow, June 16, 1954\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15328,39,'\nGet Revenge!  Live long enough to be a problem for your children!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15329,39,'\n\t\t\t-- Gifts for Children --\n\nThis is easy.  You never have to figure out what to get for children,\nbecause they will tell you exactly what they want.  They spend months and\nmonths researching these kinds of things by watching Saturday- morning\ncartoon-show advertisements.  Make sure you get your children exactly what\nthey ask for, even if you disapprove of their choices.  If your child thinks\nhe wants Murderous Bob, the Doll with the Face You Can Rip Right Off, you\'d\nbetter get it.  You may be worried that it might help to encourage your\nchild\'s antisocial tendencies, but believe me, you have not seen antisocial\ntendencies until you\'ve seen a child who is convinced that he or she did not\nget the right gift.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Christmas Shopping: A Survivor\'s Guide\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15330,39,'\nGive a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters\nneeds pounding.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15331,39,'\nGive your child mental blocks for Christmas.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15332,39,'\nHaving children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.\n\t\t-- Martin Mull\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15333,39,'\nHow sharper than a serpent\'s tooth is a sister\'s \"See?\"\n\t\t-- Linus Van Pelt\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15334,39,'\n\"Humpf!\" Humpfed a voice! \"For almost two days you\'ve run wild and insisted on\nchatting with persons who\'ve never existed.  Such carryings-on in our peaceable\njungle!  We\'ve had quite enough of you bellowing bungle!  And I\'m here to\nstate,\" snapped the big kangaroo, \"That your silly nonsensical game is all\nthrough!\"  And the young kangaroo in her pouch said, \"Me, too!\"\n\t\"With the help of the Wickersham Brothers and dozens of Wickersham\nUncles and Wickersham Cousins and Wickersham In-Laws, whose help I\'ve engaged,\nYou\'re going to be roped!  And you\'re going to be caged!  And, as for your dust\nspeck...  Hah! That we shall boil in a hot steaming kettle of Beezle-Nut oil!\"\n\t\t-- Dr. Seuss \"Horton Hears a Who\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15335,39,'\nI BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always\nend up saying, \"Don\'t forget the thick heavy brows.\"  Then they would get\nembarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and\nthey\'d get mad and eat the snowman.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15336,39,'\nI called my parents the other night, but I forgot about the time difference.\nThey\'re still living in the fifties.\n\t\t-- Strange de Jim\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15337,39,'\n\tI did some heavy research so as to be prepared for \"Mommy, why is\nthe sky blue?\"\n\tHE asked me about black holes in space.\n\t(There\'s a hole *where*?)\n\n\tI boned up to be ready for, \"Why is the grass green?\"\n\tHE wanted to discuss nature\'s food chains.\n\t(Well, let\'s see, there\'s ShopRite, Pathmark...)\n\n\tI talked about Choo-Choo trains.\n\tHE talked internal combustion engines.\n\t(The INTERNAL COMBUSTION ENGINE said, \"I think I can, I think I can.\")\n\n\tI was delighted with the video game craze, thinking we could compete\nas equals.\n\tHE described the complexities of the microchips required to create\nthe graphics.\n\n\tThen puberty struck.  Ah, adolescence.\n\tHE said, \"Mom, I just don\'t understand women.\"\n\t(Gotcha!)\n\t\t-- Betty LiBrizzi, \"The Care and Feeding of a Gifted Child\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15338,39,'\nI hate babies.  They\'re so human.\n\t\t-- H.H. Munro\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15339,39,'\nI know what \"custody\" [of the children] means.  \"Get even.\"  That\'s all\ncustody means.  Get even with your old lady.\n\t\t-- Lenny Bruce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15340,39,'\nI love children.  Especially when they cry -- for then someone takes them away.\n\t\t-- Nancy Mitford\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15341,39,'\nI opened the drawer of my little desk and a single letter fell out, a\nletter from my mother, written in pencil, one of her last, with unfinished\nwords and an implicit sense of her departure.  It\'s so curious: one can\nresist tears and \"behave\" very well in the hardest hours of grief.  But\nthen someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window... or one notices\nthat a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed... or\na letter slips from a drawer... and everything collapses.\n\t\t-- Letters From Colette\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15342,39,'\nI tell ya, I was an ugly kid.  I was so ugly that my dad kept the kid\'s\npicture that came with the wallet he bought.\n\t\t-- Rodney Dangerfield\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15343,39,'\nI told my kids, \"Someday, you\'ll have kids of your own.\"  One of them said,\n\"So will you.\"\n\t\t-- Rodney Dangerfield\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15344,39,'\nI used to think I was a child; now I think I am an adult -- not because\nI no longer do childish things, but because those I call adults are no\nmore mature than I am.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15345,39,'\nI was born because it was a habit in those days, people didn\'t know\nanything else ... I was not a Child Prodigy, because a Child Prodigy is\na child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up.\n\t\t-- Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15346,39,'\nIf a child annoys you, quiet him by brushing his hair.  If this doesn\'t\nwork, use the other side of the brush on the other end of the child.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15347,39,'\nIf parents would only realize how they bore their children.\n\t\t-- G.B. Shaw\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15348,39,'\nIf pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters.\n\t\t-- Nora Ephron, \"Heartburn\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15349,39,'\nIf the very old will remember, the very young will listen.\n\t\t-- Chief Dan George\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15350,39,'\nIf you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.\n\t\t-- Bette Davis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15351,39,'\nIf your mother knew what you\'re doing, she\'d probably hang her head and cry.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15352,39,'\nInsanity is hereditary.  You get it from your kids.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15353,39,'\nIt is better to remain childless than to father an orphan.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15354,39,'\nIt is no wonder that people are so horrible when they start life as children.\n\t\t-- Kingsley Amis\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15355,39,'\nIt is so soon that I am done for, I wonder what I was begun for.\n\t\t-- Epitaph, Cheltenham Churchyard\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15356,39,'\nIt must have been some unmarried fool that said \"A child can ask questions\nthat a wise man cannot answer\"; because, in any decent house, a brat that\nstarts asking questions is promptly packed off to bed.\n\t\t-- Arthur Binstead\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15357,39,'\nIt now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15358,39,'\nIt\'s never too late to have a happy childhood.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15359,39,'\nKids always brighten up a house; mostly by leaving the lights on.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15360,39,'\nKids have *_____\b\b\b\b\bnever* taken guidance from their parents.  If you could\ntravel back in time and observe the original primate family in the\noriginal tree, you would see the primate parents yelling at the primate\nteenager for sitting around and sulking all day instead of hunting for\ngrubs and berries like dad primate.  Then you\'d see the primate\nteenager stomp up to his branch and slam the leaves.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Kids Today: They Don\'t Know Dum Diddly Do\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15361,39,'\nLies!  All lies!  You\'re all lying against my boys!\n\t\t-- Ma Barker\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15362,39,'\nLife does not begin at the moment of conception or the moment of birth.\nIt begins when the kids leave home and the dog dies.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15363,39,'\nLife is a sexually transmitted disease with 100');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15364,39,' mortality.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15365,39,'\nLife is like a diaper -- short and loaded.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15366,39,'\nLiterature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children.\nLife is the other way around.\n\t\t-- David Lodge, \"The British Museum is Falling Down\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15367,39,'\nMaturity is only a short break in adolescence.\n\t\t-- Jules Feiffer\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15368,39,'\nMay you have many beautiful and obedient daughters.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15369,39,'\nMay you have many handsome and obedient sons.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15370,39,'\nMEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me.  I\nremember we\'d all get into the car -- I forget what kind it was -- and\ndrive and drive.\n\nI\'m not sure where we\'d go, but I think there were some bees there. The\nsmell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we\nplayed.  I remember a bigger, older guy whom we called \"Dad.\"  We\'d eat\nsome stuff or not and then I think we went home.\n\nI guess some things never leave you.\n\t\t-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15371,39,'\nMicrowaves frizz your heir.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15372,39,'\nMy boy is a mean kid.  I came home the other day and saw him taping worms\nto the sidewalk, he sits there and watches the birds get hernias.  Well,\nonly last Christmas I gave him a B-B gun and he gave me a sweatshirt with\na bulls-eye on the back.\n\nI told my kids, \"Someday, you\'ll have kids of your own.\"  One of them\nsaid, \"So will you.\"\n\t\t-- Rodney Dangerfield\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15373,39,'\nMy family history begins with me, but yours ends with you.\n\t\t-- Iphicrates\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15374,39,'\nMy mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.\n\t\t-- Groucho Marx\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15375,39,'\nMy mother once said to me, \"Elwood,\" (she always called me Elwood)\n\"Elwood, in this world you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.\"\nFor years I tried smart.  I recommend pleasant.\n\t\t-- Elwood P. Dowde, \"Harvey\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15376,39,'\nMy mother wants grandchildren, so I said, \"Mom, go for it!\"\n\t\t-- Sue Murphy\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15377,39,'\nMy mother was a test tube; my father was a knife.\n\t\t-- Friday\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15378,39,'\nMy parents went to Niagara Falls and all I got was this crummy life.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15379,39,'\nMy ritual differs slightly.  What I do, first thing [in the morning], is I\nhop into the shower stall.  Then I hop right back out, because when I hopped\nin I landed barefoot right on top of See Threepio, a little plastic robot\ncharacter from \"Star Wars\" whom my son, Robert, likes to pull the legs off\nof while he showers.  Then I hop right back into the stall because our dog,\nEarnest, who has been alone in the basement all night building up powerful\ndog emotions, has come bounding and quivering into the bathroom and wants\nto greet me with 60 or 70 thousand playful nips, any one of which -- bear\nin mind that I am naked and, without my contact lenses, essentially blind\n-- could result in the kind of injury where you have to learn a whole new\npart if you want to sing the \"Messiah,\" if you get my drift.  Then I hop\nright back out, because Robert, with that uncanny sixth sense some children\nhave -- you cannot teach it; they either have it or they don\'t -- has chosen\nexactly that moment to flush one of the toilets.  Perhaps several of them.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15380,39,'\nNature makes boys and girls lovely to look upon so they can be\ntolerated until they acquire some sense.\n\t\t-- William Phelps\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15381,39,'\nNever have children, only grandchildren.\n\t\t-- Gore Vidal\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15382,39,'\nNever lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.\n\t\t-- Erma Bombeck\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15383,39,'\nNever raise your hand to your children -- it leaves your midsection\nunprotected.\n\t\t-- Robert Orben\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15384,39,'\nNever trust a child farther than you can throw it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15385,39,'\nNo house is childproofed unless the little darlings are in straitjackets.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15386,39,'\nNo matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for\nsigns of improvement.\n\t\t-- Florida Scott-Maxwell\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15387,39,'\nNobody suffers the pain of birth or the anguish of loving a child in order\nfor presidents to make wars, for governments to feed on the substance of\ntheir people, for insurance companies to cheat the young and rob the old.\n\t\t-- Lewis Lapham\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15388,39,'\n\tOn this morning in August when I was 13, my mother sent us out pick\ntomatoes.  Back in April I\'d have killed for a fresh tomato, but in August\nthey are no more rare or wonderful than rocks.  So I picked up one and threw\nit at a crab apple tree, where it made a good *splat*, and then threw a tomato\nat my brother.  He whipped one back at me.  We ducked down by the vines,\nheaving tomatoes at each other.  My sister, who was a good person, said,\n\"You\'re going to get it.\"  She bent over and kept on picking.\n\tWhat a target!  She was 17, a girl with big hips, and bending over,\nshe looked like the side of a barn.\n\tI picked up a tomato so big it sat on the ground.  It looked like it\nhad sat there a week.  The underside was brown, small white worms lived in it,\nand it was very juicy.  I stood up and took aim, and went into the windup,\nwhen my mother at the kitchen window called my name in a sharp voice.  I had\nto decide quickly.  I decided.\n\tA rotten Big Boy hitting the target is a memorable sound, like a fat\nman doing a belly-flop.  With a whoop and a yell the tomatoee came after\nfaster than I knew she could run, and grabbed my shirt and was about to brain\nme when Mother called her name in a sharp voice.  And my sister, who was a\ngood person, obeyed and let go -- and burst into tears.  I guess she knew that\nthe pleasure of obedience is pretty thin compared with the pleasure of hearing\na rotten tomato hit someone in the rear end.\n\t\t-- Garrison Keillor, \"Lake Wobegon Days\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15389,39,'\nOne father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.\n\t\t-- George Herbert\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15390,39,'\nOne of the disadvantages of having children is that they eventually get old\nenough to give you presents they make at school.\n\t\t-- Robert Byrne\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15391,39,'\nOnly adults have difficulty with childproof caps.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15392,39,'\nOut of the mouths of babes does often come cereal.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15393,39,'\nParents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn\'t have\nmuch of anything to do with it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15394,39,'\nPlease, Mother!  I\'d rather do it myself!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15395,39,'\nReinhart was never his mother\'s favorite -- and he was an only child.\n\t\t-- Thomas Berger\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15396,39,'\nRemember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when\nyou will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.\n\t\t-- Fran Lebowitz, \"Social Studies\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15397,39,'\nSnow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore\nthem long enough.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15398,39,'\nSomewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth\nto a child.  She must be found and stopped.\n\t\t-- Sam Levenson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15399,39,'\nTeach children to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when they grow up,\nthey won\'t be able to edge a car onto a freeway.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15400,39,'\nTest-tube babies shouldn\'t throw stones.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15401,39,'\nThat all men should be brothers is the dream of people who have no brothers.\n\t\t-- Charles Chincholles, \"Pensees de tout le monde\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15402,39,'\nThe average income of the modern teenager is about 2 a.m.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15403,39,'\n\tThe courtroom was pregnant (pun intended) with anxious silence as the\njudge solemnly considered his verdict in the paternity suit before him.\nSuddenly, he reached into the folds of his robes, drew out a cigar and\nceremoniously handed it to the defendant.\n\t\"Congratulations!\" declaimed the jurist.  \"You have just become a\nfather!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15404,39,'\nThe denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older\npeople, and greatly assists in the circulation of the blood.\n\t\t-- Logan Pearsall Smith\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15405,39,'\nThe fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable\nChristian forbearance among men.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15406,39,'\nThe first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half\nby our children.\n\t\t-- Clarence Darrow\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15407,39,'\nThe full impact of parenthood doesn\'t hit you until you multiply the\nnumber of your kids by thirty-two teeth.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15408,39,'\nThe future is a myth created by insurance salesmen and high school counselors.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15409,39,'\nThe good die young -- because they see it\'s no use living if you\'ve got\nto be good.\n\t\t-- John Barrymore\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15410,39,'\nThe idea is to die young as late as possible.\n\t\t-- Ashley Montague\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15411,39,'\nThe modern child will answer you back before you\'ve said anything.\n\t\t-- Laurence J. Peter\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15412,39,'\n\"The only real way to look younger is not to be born so soon.\"\n\t\t-- Charles Schulz, \"Things I\'ve Had to Learn Over and\n\t\t   Over and Over\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15413,39,'\nThe problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15414,39,'\nThe real reason large families benefit society is because at least\na few of the children in the world shouldn\'t be raised by beginners.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15415,39,'\nThe years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four\nand eighteen.  At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15416,39,'\n\"There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.\"\n\t\t-- C. S. Lewis, \"The Chronicles of Narnia\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15417,39,'\nThere\'s no point in being grown up if you can\'t be childish sometimes.\n\t\t-- Dr. Who\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15418,39,'\nThere\'s nothing wrong with teenagers that reasoning with them won\'t aggravate.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15419,39,'\nToddlers are the stormtroopers of the Lord of Entropy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15420,39,'\nTroubles are like babies; they only grow by nursing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15421,39,'\n\tTwo parent drops spent months teaching their son how to be part of the\nocean.  After months of training, the father drop commented to the mother drop,\n\"We\'ve taught our boy everything we know, he\'s fit to be tide.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15422,39,'\nWe are all born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized\nbefore we are fit to participate in society.\n\t\t-- Judith Martin, \"Miss Manners\' Guide to Excruciatingly\n\t\t   Correct Behaviour\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15423,39,'\nWe are the people our parents warned us about.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15424,39,'\nWhat really shapes and conditions and makes us is somebody only a few of\nus ever have the courage to face: and that is the child you once were,\nlong before formal education ever got its claws into you -- that\nimpatient, all-demanding child who wants love and power and can\'t get\nenough of either and who goes on raging and weeping in your spirit till\nat last your eyes are closed and all the fools say, \"Doesn\'t he look\npeaceful?\" It is those pent-up, craving children who make all the wars\nand all the horrors and all the art and all the beauty and discovery in\nlife, because they are trying to achieve what lay beyond their grasp\nbefore they were five years old.\n\t\t-- Robertson Davies, \"The Rebel Angels\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15425,39,'\nWhat\'s done to children, they will do to society.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15426,39,'\nWhen childhood dies, its corpses are called adults.\n\t\t-- Brian Aldiss\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15427,39,'\nWhen I was 16, I thought there was no hope for my father.  By the time I was\n20, he had made great improvement.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15428,39,'\nWhen you were born, a big chance was taken for you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15429,39,'\nWhy do they call it baby-SITTING when all you do is run after them?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15430,39,'\nWhy not have an old-fashioned Christmas for your family this year? Just\npicture the scene in your living room on Christmas morning as your children\nopen their old-fashioned presents.\n\nYour 11-year-old son: \"What the heck is this?\"\n\nYou:\t\"A spinning top!  You spin it around, and then eventually it falls\ndown.  What fun!  Ha, ha!\"\n\nSon:\t\"Is this a joke?  Jason Thompson\'s parents got him a computer with \ntwo disk drives and 128 kilobytes of random-access memory, and I get this \ncretin TOP?\"\n\nYour 8-year-old daughter: \"You think that\'s bad?  Look at this.\"\n\nYou:\t\"It\'s figgy pudding!  What a treat!\"\n\nDaughter: \"It looks like goat barf.\"\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Simple, Homespun Gifts\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15431,39,'\nYou can learn many things from children.  How much patience you have,\nfor instance.\n\t\t-- Franklin P. Jones\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15432,39,'\n\"You can\'t expect a mother to be with a small child all the time,\" Margaret\nMead once remarked, with her usual good sense, but in 1978 she shocked\nfeminists by snapping that women don\'t really have children to put them in\nday care twelve hours a day, either.\n\t\t-- Caroline Bird, \"The Two Paycheck Marriage\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15433,39,'\nYou can\'t hug a child with nuclear arms.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15434,39,'\nYour responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine.  You\nneed not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion\npicture star.  If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use\nthe word \"collectible\" as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified\nsuccess.\n\t\t-- Fran Lebowitz, \"Social Studies\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15435,39,'\nYouth is such a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children.\n\t\t-- George Bernard Shaw\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15436,39,'\nYouth is the trustee of posterity.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15437,39,'\nYouth is when you blame all your troubles on your parents; maturity is\nwhen you learn that everything is the fault of the younger generation.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15438,39,'\nYouth.  It\'s a wonder that anyone ever outgrows it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15439,40,'A blind rabbit was hopping through the woods, tripping over logs and crashing\ninto trees.  At the same time, a blind snake was slithering through the same\nforest, with identical results.  They chanced to collide head-on in a clearing.\n\t\"Please excuse me, sir, I\'m blind and I bumped into you accidentally,\"\napologized the rabbit.\n\t\"That\'s quite all right,\" replied the snake, \"I have the same\nproblem!\"\n\t\"All my life I\'ve been wondering what I am,\" said the rabbit, \"Do\nyou think you could help me find out?\"\n\t\"I\'ll try,\" said the snake.  He gently coiled himself around the\nrabbit. \"Well, you\'re covered with soft fur, you have a little fluffy tail\nand long ears.  You\'re... hmmm... you\'re probably a bunny rabbit!\"\n\t\"Great!\" said the rabbit.  \"Thanks, I really owe you one!\"\n\t\"Well,\" replied the snake, \"I don\'t know what I am, either.  Do you\nsuppose you could try and tell me?\"\n\tThe rabbit ran his paws all over the snake.  \"Well, you\'re low, cold\nand slimey...\"  And, as he ran one paw underneath the snake, \"and you have\nno balls.  You must be an attorney!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15440,40,'\nA certain old cat had made his home in the alley behind Gabe\'s bar for some\ntime, subsisting on scraps and occasional handouts from the bartender.  One\nevening, emboldened by hunger, the feline attempted to follow Gabe through\nthe back door.  Regrettably, only the his body had made it through when\nthe door slammed shut, severing the cat\'s tail at its base.  This proved too\nmuch for the old creature, who looked sadly at Gabe and expired on the spot.\n\tGabe put the carcass back out in the alley and went back to business.\nThe mandatory closing time arrived and Gabe was in the process of locking up\nafter the last customers had gone.  Approaching the back door he was startled\nto see an apparition of the old cat mournfully holding its severed tail out,\nsilently pleading for Gabe to put the tail back on its corpse so that it could\ngo on to the kitty afterworld complete.\n\tGabe shook his head sadly and said to the ghost, \"I can\'t.  You know\nthe law -- no retailing spirits after 2:00 AM.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15441,40,'\nA countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.\n\t\t-- Ben Franklin\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15442,40,'\nA doctor was stranded with a lawyer in a leaky life raft in shark-infested\nwaters. The doctor tried to swim ashore but was eaten by the sharks. The\nlawyer, however, swam safely past the bloodthirsty sharks.  \"Professional\ncourtesy,\" he explained.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15443,40,'\nA Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to\na fund for his funeral.  The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate\na shilling.  \"Only a shilling?\" exclaimed the man. \"Only a shilling to bury\nan attorney?  Here\'s a guinea; go and bury twenty of them.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15444,40,'\nA friend of mine won\'t get a divorce, because he hates lawyers more than he\nhates his wife.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15445,40,'\n\tA grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did\nfor a living.  \"Tim, you be first,\" she said.  \"What does your mother do\nall day?\"\n\tTim stood up and proudly said, \"She\'s a doctor.\"\n\t\"That\'s wonderful.  How about you, Amie?\"\n\tAmie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, \"My father is a\nmailman.\"\n\t\"Thank you, Amie,\" said the teacher.  \"What about your father, Billy?\"\n\tBilly proudly stood up and announced, \"My daddy plays piano in a\nwhorehouse.\"\n\tThe teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography.\nLater that day she went to Billy\'s house and rang the bell.  Billy\'s father\nanswered the door.  The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded\nan explanation.\n\tBilly\'s father replied, \"Well, I\'m really an attorney.  But how do\nyou explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old child?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15446,40,'\n\tA housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked to add 2 and 2.\n\tThe housewife replied, \"Four!\".\n\tThe accountant said, \"It\'s either 3 or 4.  Let me run those figures\nthrough my spread sheet one more time.\"\n\tThe lawyer pulled the drapes, dimmed the lights and asked in a\nhushed voice, \"How much do you want it to be?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15447,40,'\nA jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.\n\t\t-- Robert Frost\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15448,40,'\n\tA lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone.  After he had\nmade his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he\nwould like on it.  \"Here lies an honest man and a lawyer,\" responded the\nlawyer.\n\t\"Sorry, but I can\'t do that,\" replied the stonecutter.  \"In this\nstate, it\'s against the law to bury two people in the same grave.  However,\nI could put ``here lies an honest lawyer\'\', if that would be okay.\"\n\t\"But that won\'t let people know who it is\" protested the lawyer.\n\t\"Certainly will,\" retorted the stonecutter.  \"people will read it\nand exclaim, \"That\'s Strange!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15449,40,'\nA Los Angeles judge ruled that \"a citizen may snore with immunity in\nhis own home, even though he may be in possession of unusual and\nexceptional ability in that particular field.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15450,40,'\n\tA Los Angeles judge ruled that \"a citizen may snore with immunity in\nhis own home, even though he may be in possession of unusual and exceptional\nability in that particular field.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15451,40,'\n\tA man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender,\n\"Do you serve lawyers here?\".\n\t\"Sure do,\" replied the bartender.\n\t\"Good,\" said the man.  \"Give me a beer, and I\'ll have a lawyer for\nmy \'gator.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15452,40,'\n\tA New York City judge ruled that if two women behind you at the\nmovies insist on discussing the probable outcome of the film, you have the\nright to turn around and blow a Bronx cheer at them.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15453,40,'\nA New York City ordinance prohibits the shooting of rabbits from the\nrear of a Third Avenue street car -- if the car is in motion.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15454,40,'\nA Riverside, California, health ordinance states that two persons may\nnot kiss each other without first wiping their lips with carbolized rosewater.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15455,40,'\nA small town that cannot support one lawyer can always support two.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15456,40,'\nAccording to Arkansas law, Section 4761, Pope\'s Digest:  \"No person\nshall be permitted under any pretext whatever, to come nearer than\nfifty feet of any door or window of any polling room, from the opening\nof the polls until the completion of the count and the certification of\nthe returns.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15457,40,'\nAccording to Kentucky state law, every person must take a bath at least\nonce a year.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15458,40,'\nAfter 35 years, I have finished a comprehensive study of European\ncomparative law.  In Germany, under the law, everything is prohibited,\nexcept that which is permitted.  In France, under the law, everything\nis permitted, except that which is prohibited.  In the Soviet Union,\nunder the law, everything is prohibited, including that which is\npermitted.  And in Italy, under the law, everything is permitted,\nespecially that which is prohibited.\n\t\t-- Newton Minow,\n\t\tSpeech to the Association of American Law Schools, 1985\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15459,40,'\n\tAfter his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from\nHeaven.  As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought,\nand turned to God and said, \"A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon\nto be created.\"\n\t\"This is true,\" He replied.\n\t\"He will need laws,\" said the Demon slyly.\n\t\"What!  You, his appointed Enemy for all Time!  You ask for the\nright to make his laws?\"\n\t\"Oh, no!\"  Satan replied, \"I ask only that he be allowed to\nmake his own.\"\n\tIt was so granted.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15460,40,'\nAn amendment to a motion may be amended, but an amendment to an amendment\nto a motion may not be amended.  However, a substitute for an amendment to\nand amendment to a motion may be adopted and the substitute may be amended.\n\t\t-- The Montana legislature\'s contribution to the English\n\t\tlanguage.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15461,40,'\nAn attorney was defending his client against a charge of first-degree murder.\n\"Your Honor, my client is accused of stuffing his lover\'s mutilated body into\na suitcase and heading for the Mexican border.  Just north of Tijuana a cop\nspotted her hand sticking out of the suitcase.  Now, I would like to stress\nthat my client is *___\b\b\bnot* a murderer.  A sloppy packer, maybe...\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15462,40,'\nAn English judge, growing weary of the barrister\'s long-winded summation,\nleaned over the bench and remarked, \"I\'ve heard your arguments, Sir\nGeoffrey, and I\'m none the wiser!\" Sir Geoffrey responded, \"That may be,\nMilord, but at least you\'re better informed!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15463,40,'\nAnd then there was the lawyer that stepped in cow manure and thought\nhe was melting...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15464,40,'\nAnother day, another dollar.\n\t\t-- Vincent J. Fuller, defense lawyer for John Hinckley,\n\t\t   upon Hinckley\'s acquittal for shooting President Ronald\n\t\t   Reagan.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15465,40,'\nAnti-trust laws should be approached with exactly that attitude.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15466,40,'\nAtlanta makes it against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole\nor street lamp.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15467,40,'\nAttorney General Edwin Meese III explained why the Supreme Court\'s Miranda\ndecision (holding that subjects have a right to remain silent and have a\nlawyer present during questioning) is unnecessary: \"You don\'t have many\nsuspects who are innocent of a crime.  That\'s contradictory.  If a person\nis innocent of a crime, then he is not a suspect.\"\n\t\t-- U.S. News and World Report, 10/14/85\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15468,40,'\nBe frank and explicit with your lawyer ... it is his business to confuse\nthe issue afterwards.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15469,40,'\nBehold the warranty -- the bold print giveth and the fine print taketh away.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15470,40,'\nBeing a miner, as soon as you\'re too old and tired and sick and stupid to\ndo your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with\nthe judges.\n\t\t-- Beyond the Fringe\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15471,40,'\nBetween grand theft and a legal fee, there only stands a law degree.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15472,40,'\n... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be\nproved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge\nto mankind.  The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women \nwere convicted of witchcraft and executed was without a flaw; it is still \nunimpeachable.  The judges\' decisions based on it were sound in logic and \nin law.  Nothing in any existing court was ever more thoroughly proved than\nthe charges of witchcraft and sorcery for which so many suffered death.  If\nthere were no witches, human testimony and human reason are alike destitute\nof value.\n\t\t-- Ambrose Bierce, \"The Devil\'s Dictionary\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15473,40,'\nCarmel, New York, has an ordinance forbidding men to wear coats and\ntrousers that don\'t match.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15474,40,'\nCertain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the\nmost inexplicable must be a matter of opinion.  A judge of the Court of\nSession of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which\nreads, \"In the Nuts (unground), (other than ground nuts) Order, the expression\nnuts shall have reference to such nuts, other than ground nuts, as would\nbut for this amending Order not qualify as nuts (unground) (other than ground\nnuts) by reason of their being nuts (unground).\"\n\t\t-- Guiness Book of World Records, 1973\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15475,40,'\nChicago law prohibits eating in a place that is on fire.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15476,40,'\nDiogenes went to look for an honest lawyer. \"How\'s it going?\", someone\nasked him, after a few days.\n\t\"Not too bad\", replied Diogenes. \"I still have my lantern.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15477,40,'\n[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are\ntwo sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity:\n\n(1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and\n    confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a pile and hold\n    a press conference where you announce that they have a street value\n    of $850 million.  These raids never fail, because ALL high schools,\n    including brand-new, never-used ones, have at least 53 marijuana\n    cigarettes in the lockers.  As far as anyone can tell, the locker\n    factory puts them there.\n(2) Raid an \"adult book store\" and hold a press conference where you\n    announce you are charging the owner with 850 counts of being a\n    piece of human sleaze.  This also never fails, because you always\n    get a conviction.  A juror at a pornography trial is not about to\n    state for the record that he finds nothing obscene about a movie\n    where actors engage in sexual activities with live snakes and a\n    fire extinguisher.  He is going to convict the bookstore owner, and\n    vote for the death penalty just to make sure nobody gets the wrong\n    impression.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Pornography\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15478,40,'\nDistrict of Columbia pedestrians who leap over passing autos to escape\ninjury, and then strike the car as they come down, are liable for any\ndamage inflicted on the vehicle.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15479,40,'\nDivorce is a game played by lawyers.\n\t\t-- Cary Grant\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15480,40,'\nDoctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with\nlittle sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.\n\t\t-- Roy G. Blount, Jr.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15481,40,'\nFights between cats and dogs are prohibited by statute in Barber, North\nCarolina.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15482,40,'\nFirst there was Dial-A-Prayer, then Dial-A-Recipe, and even Dial-A-Footballer.\nBut the south-east Victorian town of Sale has produced one to top them all.\nDial-A-Wombat.\n\tIt all began early yesterday when Sale police received a telephone\ncall: \"You won\'t believe this, and I\'m not drunk, but there\'s a wombat in the\nphone booth outside the town hall,\" the caller said.\n\tNot firmly convinced about the caller\'s claim to sobriety, members of\nthe constabulary drove to the scene, expecting to pick up a drunk.\n\tBut there it was, an annoyed wombat, trapped in a telephone booth.\n\tThe wombat, determined not to be had the better of again, threw its\nbulk into the fray. It was eventually lassoed and released in a nearby scrub.\n\tThen the officers received another message ... another wombat in\nanother phone booth.\n\tThere it was: *Another* angry wombat trapped in a telephone booth.\n\tThe constables took the miffed marsupial into temporary custody and\nreleased it, too, in the scrub.\n\tBut on their way back to the station they happened to pass another\ntelephone booth, and -- you guessed it -- another imprisoned wombat.\n\tAfter some serious detective work, the lads in blue found a suspect,\nand after questioning, released him to be charged on summons.\n\tTheir problem ... they cannot find a law against placing wombats in\ntelephone booths.\n\t\t-- \"Newcastle Morning Herald\", NSW Australia, Aug 1980.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15483,40,'\nFor certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.\n\t\t-- Gore Vidal\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15484,40,'\nFor three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief\nvacations at this country inn.  The last time he\'d finally managed an\naffair with the innkeeper\'s daughter.  Looking forward to an exciting\nfew days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped\nshort.  There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!\n\t\"Helen, why didn\'t you write when you learned you were pregnant?\"\nhe cried.  \"I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married,\nand the baby would have my name!\"\n\t\"Well,\" she said, \"when my folks found out about my condition,\nwe sat up all night talkin\' and talkin\' and finally decided it would be\nbetter to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15485,40,'\nFortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions:\n\nIt is a rule of evidence deduced from the experience of mankind and\nsupported by reason and authority that positive testimony is entitled to\nmore weight than negative testimony, but by the latter term is meant\nnegative testimony in its true sense and not positive evidence of a\nnegative, because testimony in support of a negative may be as positive\nas that in support of an affirmative.\n\t\t-- 254 Pac. Rep. 472.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15486,40,'\nFortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions:\n\nWe can imagine no reason why, with ordinary care, human toes could not be\nleft out of chewing tobacco, and if toes are found in chewing tobacco, it\nseems to us that someone has been very careless.\n\t\t-- 78 So. 365.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15487,40,'\nFortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions:\n\nWe think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term \"bitch\"\nmay imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine\nspecies but that it is seldom, if ever, so used when applied to a female\nof the human race. Coming as it did, reasonably close on the heels of two\nrevolver shots directed at the person of whom it was probably used, we think\nit carries every reasonable implication of ill-will toward that person.\n\t\t-- Smith v. Moran, 193 N.E. 2d 466.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15488,40,'\nFortune\'s Law of the Week (this week, from Kentucky):\n\tNo female shall appear in a bathing suit at any airport in this\nState unless she is escorted by two officers or unless she is armed\nwith a club.  The provisions of this statute shall not apply to females\nweighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it\napply to female horses.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15489,40,'\nFortune\'s nomination for All-Time Champion and Protector of Youthful\nMorals goes to Representative Clare E. Hoffman of Michigan.  During an\nimpassioned House debate over a proposed bill to \"expand oyster and\nclam research,\" a sharp-eared informant transcribed the following\nexchange between our hero and Rep. John D. Dingell, also of Michigan.\n\nDINGELL: There are places in the world at the present time where we are\n\t having to artificially propagate oysters and clams.\nHOFFMAN: You mean the oysters I buy are not nature\'s oysters?\nDINGELL: They may or may not be natural.  The simple fact of the matter\n\t is that female oysters through their living habits cast out\n\t large amounts of seed and the male oysters cast out large\n\t amounts of fertilization ...\nHOFFMAN: Wait a minute!  I do not want to go into that.  There are many\n\t teenagers who read The Congressional Record.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15490,40,'\nFortune\'s Real-Life Courtroom Quote #18:\n\nQ:  Are you married?\nA:  No, I\'m divorced.\nQ:  And what did your husband do before you divorced him?\nA:  A lot of things I didn\'t know about.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15491,40,'\nFortune\'s Real-Life Courtroom Quote #19:\n\nQ:  Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?\nA:  All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15492,40,'\nFortune\'s Real-Life Courtroom Quote #25:\n\nQ:  You say you had three men punching at you, kicking you, raping you,\n    and you didn\'t scream?\nA:  No ma\'am.\nQ:  Does that mean you consented?\nA:  No, ma\'am.  That means I was unconscious.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15493,40,'\nFortune\'s Real-Life Courtroom Quote #29:\n\nTHE JUDGE: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present\n\t   information and prejudice from your minds, if you have any ...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15494,40,'\nFortune\'s Real-Life Courtroom Quote #32:\n\nQ:  Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?\nA:  I will be three months November 8th.\nQ:  Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?\nA:  Yes.\nQ:  What were you and your husband doing at that time?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15495,40,'\nFortune\'s Real-Life Courtroom Quote #37:\n\nQ:  Did he pick the dog up by the ears?\nA:  No.\nQ:  What was he doing with the dog\'s ears?\nA:  Picking them up in the air.\nQ:  Where was the dog at this time?\nA:  Attached to the ears.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15496,40,'\nFortune\'s Real-Life Courtroom Quote #3:\n\nQ:  When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were\n    able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to\n    go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with\n    him to the station?\nMR. BROOKS:  Objection.  That question should be taken out and shot.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15497,40,'\nFortune\'s Real-Life Courtroom Quote #41:\n\nQ:  Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?\nA:  By death.\nQ:  And by whose death was it terminated?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15498,40,'\nFortune\'s Real-Life Courtroom Quote #52:\n\nQ:  What is your name?\nA:  Ernestine McDowell.\nQ:  And what is your marital status?\nA:  Fair.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15499,40,'\nFortune\'s Real-Life Courtroom Quote #7:\n\nQ:  What happened then?\nA:  He told me, he says, \"I have to kill you because you can identify me.\"\nQ:  Did he kill you?\nA:  No.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15500,40,'\nFrankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman\'s tie.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15501,40,'\n\"Gentlemen of the jury,\" said the defense attorney, now beginning\nto warm to his summation, \"the real question here before you is, shall this\nbeautiful young woman be forced to languish away her loveliest years in a \ndark prison cell?  Or shall she be set free to return to her cozy little \napartment at 4134 Mountain Ave. -- there to spend her lonely, loveless hours\nin her boudoir, lying beside her little Princess phone, 962-7873?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15502,40,'\nGetting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked\nout of the Book-of-the-Month Club.\n\t\t-- Melvin Belli on the occcasion of his getting kicked out\n\t\t   of the American Bar Association\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15503,40,'\n\tGod decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences\nonce and for all.\n\tWhen Satan heard of this, he grinned and said, \"And just where do you\nthink you\'re going to find a lawyer?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15504,40,'\nGood government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of\nthose who govern.  The machinery of government is always subordinate to the\nwill of those who administer that machinery.  The most important element of\ngovernment, therefore, is the method of choosing leaders.\n\t\t-- Frank Herbert, \"Children of Dune\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15505,40,'\nHe is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15506,40,'\n\"Hi, I\'m Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you\ncan see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height\non the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car\nor a job?  Do you ever walk around?  If so, you probably have the makings of\nan excellent legal case.  Although of course every case is different, I\nwould definitely say that based on my experience and training, there\'s no\nreason why you shouldn\'t come out of this thing with at least a cabin\ncruiser.\n\n\"Remember, at the Preston A. Mantis Consumers Retail Law Outlet, our motto\nis: \'It is very difficult to disprove certain kinds of pain.\'\"\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"Pain and Suffering\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15507,40,'\n\tHorses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants in Marshalltown, Iowa.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15508,40,'\n\tHow do you insult a lawyer?\n\tYou might as well not even try.  Consider: of all the highly\ntrained and educated professions, law is the only one in which the prime\nlesson is that *winning* is more important than *truth*.\n\tOnce someone has sunk to that level, what worse can you say about them?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15509,40,'\nHR 3128.  Omnibus Budget Reconciliation, Fiscal 1986.  Martin, R-Ill., motion\nthat the House recede from its disagreement to the Senate amendment making\nchanges in the bill to reduce fiscal 1986 deficits.  The Senate amendment\nwas an amendment to the House amendment to the Senate amendment to the House\namendment to the Senate amendment to the bill.  The original Senate amendment\nwas the conference agreement on the bill.  Agreed to.\n\t\t-- Albuquerque Journal\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15510,40,'\nHumor in th Court:\nQ: Do you drink when you\'re on duty?\nA: I don\'t drink when I\'m on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15511,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ.  And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral.  O.K.? What school do \n    you go to?\nA.  Oral.\nQ.  How old are you?\nA.  Oral.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15512,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ.  And who is this person you are speaking of?\nA.  My ex-widow said it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15513,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ.  Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?\nA.  I refuse to answer that question.\nQ.  Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?\nA.  I refuse to answer that question.\nQ.  Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?\nA.  No.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15514,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ.  Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?\nA.  No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15515,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ.  How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?\nA.  Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children by Dr. Cherney, \n    and said he was really good.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15516,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ.  Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition \n    notice which I sent to your attorney?\nA.  No.  This is how I dress when I go to work.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15517,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ.  Mrs. Smith, do you believe that you are emotionally unstable?\nA.  I should be.\nQ.  How many times have you comitted suicide?\nA.  Four times.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15518,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ.  Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?\nA.  Because he was argumentary and he couldn\'t pronunciate his words.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15519,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ.  Were you aquainted with the deceased?\nA.  Yes, sir.\nQ.  Before or after he died?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15520,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ.  What is your brother-in-law\'s name?\nA.  Borofkin.\nQ.  What\'s his first name?\nA.  I can\'t remember.\nQ.  He\'s been your brother-in-law for years, and you can\'t remember his first \n    name?\nA.  No.  I tell you I\'m too excited. (Rising from the witness chair and\n    pointing to Mr. Borofkin.) Nathan, for God\'s sake, tell them your first\n    name!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15521,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ: (Showing man picture.) That\'s you?\nA: Yes, sir.\nQ: And you were present when the picture was taken, right?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15522,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ: ...and what did he do then?\nA: He came home, and next morning he was dead.\nQ: So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15523,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ: ...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial \n   instead of an attempted murder trial?\nA: The victim lived.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15524,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?\nA: Yes, I have been since early childhood.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15525,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ: Are you sexually active?\nA: No, I just lie there.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15526,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ: Could you see him from where you were standing?\nA: I could see his head.\nQ: And where was his head?\nA: Just above his shoulders.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15527,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ: Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?\nA: He didn\'t offer me nothing; he just said I could have the furniture.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15528,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ: Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was\n   a victim?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15529,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ: So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe\n   with respect to your scalp?\nA: I didn\'t see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.\nQ: It was covered?\nA: Yes, bandaged.\nQ: Then, later on.. what did you see?\nA: I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top\n   of my head.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15530,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ: The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective \n   witness, isn\'t it. You too were shot in the fracas?\nA: No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15531,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ: What can you tell us about the truthfulness and veracity of this defendant?\nA: Oh, she will tell the truth. She said she\'d kill that sonofabitch--and \n   she did!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15532,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ: What is the meaning of sperm being present?\nA: It indicates intercourse.\nQ: Male sperm?\nA. That is the only kind I know.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15533,40,'\nHumor in the Court:\nQ: What is your relationship with the plaintiff?\nA: She is my daughter.\nQ: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15534,40,'\nI need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.\n\t\t-- Fratianno\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15535,40,'\nI remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some\nkind of loophole.\n\t\t-- Leo Kessler\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15536,40,'\nI suppose some of the variation between Boston drivers and the rest of the\ncountry is due to the progressive Massachusetts Driver Education Manual which\nI happen to have in my top desk drawer.  Some of the Tips for Better Driving\nare worth considering, to wit:\n\n[110.13]:\n       \"When traveling on a one-way street, stay to the right, so as not\n        to interfere with oncoming traffic.\"\n\n[22.17b]:\n       \"Learning to change lanes takes time and patience.  The best\n        recommendation that can be made is to go to a Celtics [basketball]\n        game; study the fast break and then go out and practice it\n        on the highway.\"\n\n[41.16]:\n       \"Never bump a baby carriage out of a crosswalk unless the kid\'s really\n        asking for it.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15537,40,'\nI suppose some of the variation between Boston drivers and the rest of the\ncountry is due to the progressive Massachusetts Driver Education Manual which\nI happen to have in my top desk drawer.  Some of the Tips for Better Driving\nare worth considering, to wit:\n\n[131.16d]:\n       \"Directional signals are generally not used except during vehicle\n        inspection; however, a left-turn signal is appropriate when making\n        a U-turn on a divided highway.\"\n\n[96.7b]:\n       \"When paying tolls, remember that it is necessary to release the\n        quarter a full 3 seconds before passing the basket if you are\n        traveling more than 60 MPH.\"\n\n[110.13]:\n       \"When traveling on a one-way street, stay to the right, so as not\n        to interfere with oncoming traffic.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15538,40,'\nI suppose some of the variation between Boston drivers and the rest of the\ncountry is due to the progressive Massachusetts Driver Education Manual which\nI happen to have in my top desk drawer.  Some of the Tips for Better Driving\nare worth considering, to wit:\n\n[173.15b]:\n\t\"When competing for a section of road or a parking space, remember\n        that the vehicle in need of the most body work has the right-of-way.\"\n\n[141.2a]:\n       \"Although it is altogether possible to fit a 6\' car into a 6\'\n        parking space, it is hardly ever possible to fit a 6\' car into\n        a 5\' parking space.\"\n\n[105.31]:\n       \"Teenage drivers believe that they are immortal, and drive accordingly.\n        Nevertheless, you should avoid the temptation to prove them wrong.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15539,40,'\nI value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals.  I\ndon\'t respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected\nwith society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger,\nthe food cheaper, and old men and women warmer in the winter, and happier\nin the summer.\n\t\t-- Brendan Behan\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15540,40,'\n\tIdaho state law makes it illegal for a man to give his sweetheart\na box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15541,40,'\nIf a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it\nis certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.\n\t\t-- Joseph C. Goulden\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15542,40,'\nIf a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the\nseparation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience,\nit might well prolong his life.\n\t\t-- Charles Darling, \"Scintillae Juris, 1877\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15543,40,'\n\"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think\nlittle of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and\nSabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination.\"\n\t\t-- Thomas De Quincey (1785 - 1859)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15544,40,'\nIf reporters don\'t know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.\n\t\t-- Tom Wicker\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15545,40,'\nIf there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three\nyears left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law\nschool, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.\n\t\t-- Michael Levin, \"The Socratic Method\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15546,40,'\n\tIn \"King Henry VI, Part II,\" Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to\nhis fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, \"The first thing we do, let\'s\nkill all the lawyers.\"  That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment\nwas expressed by Thomas K. Connellan, president of The Management Group, Inc.\nSpeaking to business executives in Chicago and quoted in Automotive News,\nConnellan attributed a measure of America\'s falling productivity to an excess\nof attorneys and accountants, and a dearth of production experts.  Lawyers\nand accountants \"do not make the economic pie any bigger; they only figure\nout how the pie gets divided.  Neither profession provides any added value\nto product.\"\n\tAccording to Connellan, the highly productive Japanese society has\n10 lawyers and 30 accountants per 100,000 population.  The U.S. has 200\nlawyers and 700 accountants.  This suggests that \"the U.S. proportion of\npie-bakers and pie-dividers is way out of whack.\"  Could Dick Butcher have\nbeen an efficiency expert?\n\t\t-- Motor Trend, May 1983\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15547,40,'\nIn Blythe, California, a city ordinance declares that a person must own\nat least two cows before he can wear cowboy boots in public.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15548,40,'\nIn Boston, it is illegal to hold frog-jumping contests in nightclubs.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15549,40,'\nIn Columbia, Pennsylvania, it is against the law for a pilot to tickle\na female flying student under her chin with a feather duster in order\nto get her attention.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15550,40,'\nIn Corning, Iowa, it\'s a misdemeanor for a man to ask his wife to ride\nin any motor vehicle.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15551,40,'\nIn Denver it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15552,40,'\nIn Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15553,40,'\nIn Greene, New York, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on\nthe sidewalks when a concert is on.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15554,40,'\nIn Lexington, Kentucky, it\'s illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your pocket.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15555,40,'\nIn Lowes Crossroads, Delaware, it is a violation of local law for any\npilot or passenger to carry an ice cream cone in their pocket while\neither flying or waiting to board a plane.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15556,40,'\n\tIn Memphis, Tennessee, it is illegal for a woman to drive a car unless\nthere is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red\nflag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15557,40,'\nIn Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as\nto publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the\nspeaker\'s stand, you can be fined $25.00.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15558,40,'\nIn Pocataligo, Georgia, it is a violation for a woman over 200 pounds\nand attired in shorts to pilot or ride in an airplane.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15559,40,'\nIn Pocatello, Idaho, a law passed in 1912 provided that \"The carrying\nof concealed weapons is forbidden, unless same are exhibited to public view.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15560,40,'\nIn Seattle, Washington, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon that\nis over six feet in length.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15561,40,'\nIn Tennessee, it is illegal to shoot any game other than whales from a\nmoving automobile.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15562,40,'\nIn the olden days in England, you could be hung for stealing a sheep or a\nloaf of bread.  However, if a sheep stole a loaf of bread and gave it to\nyou, you would only be tried for receiving, a crime punishable by forty\nlashes with the cat or the dog, whichever was handy.  If you stole a dog\nand were caught, you were punished with twelve rabbit punches, although it\nwas hard to find rabbits big enough or strong enough to punch you.\n\t\t-- Mike Harding, \"The Armchair Anarchist\'s Almanac\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15563,40,'\nIn Tulsa, Oklahoma, it is against the law to open a soda bottle without\nthe supervision of a licensed engineer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15564,40,'\nIn West Union, Ohio, No married man can go flying without his spouse\nalong at any time, unless he has been married for more than 12 months.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15565,40,'\nIt has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of\nindulgence for infanticide.  A question of interest, my dear Sir!  The jury\nis afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim\nof infanticide.\n\t\t-- Edmond About\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15566,40,'\nIt is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of\nUrbana, Illinois.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15567,40,'\nIt is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood\nBoulevard at one time.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15568,40,'\nIt is illegal to say \"Oh, Boy\" in Jonesboro, Georgia.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15569,40,'\nIt is Mr. Mellon\'s credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong.  Our\noffense consists in doubting it.\n\t\t-- Justice Robert H. Jackson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15570,40,'\nIt is Texas law that when two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing,\neach shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other\nhas gone.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15571,40,'\n\tIt seems these two guys, George and Harry, set out in a Hot Air\nballoon to cross the United States.  After forty hours in the air, George\nturned to Harry, and said, \"Harry, I think we\'ve drifted off course!  We\nneed to find out where we are.\"\n\tHarry cools the air in the balloon, and they descend to below the\ncloud cover.  Slowly drifting over the countryside, George spots a man\nstanding below them and yells out, \"Excuse me!  Can you please tell me\nwhere we are?\"\n\tThe man on the ground yells back, \"You\'re in a balloon, approximately\nfifty feet in the air!\"\n\tGeorge turns to Harry and says, \"Well, that man *must* be a lawyer\".\n\tReplies Harry, \"How can you tell?\".\n\t\"Because the information he gave us is 100');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15572,40,' accurate, and totally\nuseless!\"\n\nThat\'s the end of The Joke, but for you people who are still worried about\nGeorge and Harry: they end up in the drink, and make the front page of the\nNew York Times: \"Balloonists Soaked by Lawyer\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15573,40,'\nIt shall be unlawful for any suspicious person to be within the municipality.\n\t\t-- Local ordinance, Euclid Ohio\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15574,40,'\nIt\'s illegal in Wilbur, Washington, to ride an ugly horse.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15575,40,'\nIt\'s recently come to Fortune\'s attention that scientists have stopped\nusing laboratory rats in favor of attorneys.  Seems that there are not\nonly more of them, but you don\'t get so emotionally attached.  The only\ndifficulty is that it\'s sometimes difficult to apply the experimental\nresults to humans.\n\n\t[Also, there are some things even a rat won\'t do.  Ed.]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15576,40,'\nJudges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that\nreckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away\nsomeone else\'s cash.\n\t\t-- P.G. Wodehouse, \"Louder and Funnier\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15577,40,'\nJust remember: when you go to court, you are trusting your fate to\ntwelve people that weren\'t smart enough to get out of jury duty!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15578,40,'\nKansas state law requires pedestrians crossing the highways at night to\nwear tail lights.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15579,40,'\nKirkland, Illinois, law forbids bees to fly over the village or through\nany of its streets.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15580,40,'\nKnow how to save 5 drowning lawyers?\n\n-- No?\n\nGOOD!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15581,40,'\nLaws are like sausages.  It\'s better not to see them being made.\n\t\t-- Otto von Bismarck\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15582,40,'\nLegislation proposed in the Illinois State Legislature, May, 1907:\n\t\"Speed upon county roads will be limited to ten miles an hour\nunless the motorist sees a bailiff who does not appear to have had a\ndrink in 30 days, when the driver will be permitted to make what he can.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15583,40,'\nLet us remember that ours is a nation of lawyers and order.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15584,40,'\nLet\'s say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick\nyour hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as\nMental Anguish.  You would sue:\n\n* The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions\n  section that says you should never never never ever stick you hand\n  into the toaster, the statement \"Not even if your wedding ring falls\n  in there\".\n\n* The store where you bought the toaster, for selling it to an obvious\n  cretin like yourself.\n\n* Union Carbide Corporation, which is not directly responsible in this\n  case, but which is feeling so guilty that it would probably send you\n  a large cash settlement anyway.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15585,40,'\n... Logically incoherent, semantically incomprehensible, and legally ... \nimpeccable!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15586,40,'\nLoud burping while walking around the airport is prohibited in Halstead, Kansas.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15587,40,'\nMarijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students\nwho now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize\nit in order to protect themselves.\n\t\t-- Lenny Bruce\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15588,40,'\nMen often believe -- or pretend -- that the \"Law\" is something sacred, or\nat least a science -- an unfounded assumption very convenient to governments.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15589,40,'\nMinors in Kansas City, Missouri, are not allowed to purchase cap pistols;\nthey may buy shotguns freely, however.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15590,40,'\nNever put off until tomorrow what you can do today.  There might be a\nlaw against it by that time.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15591,40,'\nNEVER swerve to hit a lawyer riding a bicycle -- it might be your bicycle.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15592,40,'\nNew Hampshire law forbids you to tap your feet, nod your head, or in\nany way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15593,40,'\nOf ______\b\b\b\b\b\bcourse it\'s the murder weapon.  Who would frame someone with a fake?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15594,40,'\n\tOld Barlow was a crossing-tender at a junction where an express train\ndemolished an automobile and its occupants. Being the chief witness, his\ntestimony was vitally important. Barlow explained that the night was dark,\nand he waved his lantern frantically, but the driver of the car paid\nno attention to the signal.\n\tThe railroad company won the case, and the president of the company\ncomplimented the old-timer for his story. \"You did wonderfully,\" he said,\n\"I was afraid you would waver under testimony.\"\n\t\"No sir,\" exclaimed the senior, \"but I sure was afraid that durned\nlawyer was gonna ask me if my lantern was lit.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15595,40,'\nOnce he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his \nroars.  Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the\nforlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind\nthe railroad yards.\"\n\t\t-- H.L. Mencken, writing of William Jennings Bryan,\n\t\t   counsel for the supporters of Tennessee\'s anti-evolution\n\t\t   law at the Scopes \"Monkey Trial\" in 1925.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15596,40,'\n... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce\nConnell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm.  One thing\nI like about the South is, folks there care about tradition.  If somebody\ngets handed a name like \"H. Boyce,\" he hangs on to it, puts it on his legal\nstationery, even passes it to his son, rather than do what a lesser person\nwould do, such as get it changed or kill himself.\n\t\t-- Dave Barry, \"This Column is Nothing but the Truth!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15597,40,'\n\t\t\tPittsburgh driver\'s test\n\t\t\t\n(10) Potholes are\n\n\t(a) extremely dangerous.\n\t(b) patriotic.\n\t(c) the fault of the previous administration.\n\t(d) all going to be fixed next summer.\n\nThe correct answer is (b). Potholes destroy unpatriotic, unamerican,\nimported cars, since the holes are larger than the cars.  If you drive a\nbig, patriotic, American car you have nothing to worry about.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15598,40,'\n\t\t\tPittsburgh driver\'s test\n\n(2) A traffic light at an intersection changes from yellow to red, you should\n\n\t(a) stop immediately.\n\t(b) proceed slowly through the intersection.\n\t(c) blow the horn.\n\t(d) floor it.\n\nThe correct answer is (d). If you said (c), you were almost right, so\ngive yourself a half point.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15599,40,'\n\t\t\tPittsburgh driver\'s test\n\n(3) When stopped at an intersection you should\n\n\t(a) watch the traffic light for your lane.\n\t(b) watch for pedestrians crossing the street.\n\t(c) blow the horn.\n\t(d) watch the traffic light for the intersecting street.\n\nThe correct answer is (d). You need to start as soon as the traffic light\nfor the intersecting street turns yellow. Answer (c) is worth a half point.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15600,40,'\n\t\t\tPittsburgh driver\'s test\n\n(4) Exhaust gas is\n\n\t(a) beneficial.\n\t(b) not harmful.\n\t(c) toxic.\n\t(d) a punk band.\n\nThe correct answer is (b). The meddling Washington eco-freak communist\nbureaucrats who say otherwise are liars.  (Message to those who answered (d).\nGo back to California where you came from.  Your kind are not welcome here.)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15601,40,'\n\t\t\tPittsburgh driver\'s test\n\n(5) Your car\'s horn is a vital piece of safety equipment.  How often should\nyou test it?\n\n\t(a) once a year.\n\t(b) once a month.\n\t(c) once a day.\n\t(d) once an hour.\n\nThe correct answer is (d). You should test your car\'s horn at least once\nevery hour, and more often at night or in residential neighborhoods.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15602,40,'\n\t\t\tPittsburgh Driver\'s Test\n\n(7) The car directly in front of you has a flashing right tail light\n    but a steady left tail light.  This means\n\n\t(a) one of the tail lights is broken; you should blow your horn\n\t    to call the problem to the driver\'s attention.\n\t(b) the driver is signaling a right turn.\n\t(c) the driver is signaling a left turn.\n\t(d) the driver is from out of town.\n\nThe correct answer is (d).  Tail lights are used in some foreign\ncountries to signal turns.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15603,40,'\n\t\t\tPittsburgh Driver\'s Test\n\n(8) Pedestrians are\n\n\t(a) irrelevant.\n\t(b) communists.\n\t(c) a nuisance.\n\t(d) difficult to clean off the front grille.\n\nThe correct answer is (a).  Pedestrians are not in cars, so they are\ntotally irrelevant to driving; you should ignore them completely.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15604,40,'\n\t\t\tPittsburgh driver\'s test\n\n(9) Roads are salted in order to\n\n\t(a) kill grass.\n\t(b) melt snow.\n\t(c) help the economy.\n\t(d) prevent potholes.\n\nThe correct answer is (c). Road salting employs thousands of persons\ndirectly, and millions more indirectly, for example, salt miners and\nrustproofers.  Most important, salting reduces the life spans of cars,\nthus stimulating the car and steel industries.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15605,40,'\nShe cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.\n\t\t-- Tommy Manville\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15606,40,'\nSho\' they got to have it against the law.  Shoot, ever\'body git high,\nthey wouldn\'t be nobody git up and feed the chickens.  Hee-hee.\n\t\t-- Terry Southern\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15607,40,'\nSome men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don\'t think\nabout sex at all... they become lawyers.\n\t\t-- Woody Allen\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15608,40,'\nSome of the most interesting documents from Sweden\'s middle ages are the\nold county laws (well, we never had counties but it\'s the nearest equivalent\nI can find for \"landskap\").  These laws were written down sometime in the\n13th century, but date back even down into Viking times.  The oldest one is\nthe Vastgota law which clearly has pagan influences, thinly covered with some\nChristian stuff.  In this law, we find a page about \"lekare\", which is the\nOld Norse word for a performing artist, actor/jester/musician etc.  Here is\nan approximate translation, where I have written \"artist\" as equivalent of\n\"lekare\".\n\t\"If an artist is beaten, none shall pay fines for it.  If an artist\n\tis wounded, one such who goes with hurdie-gurdie or travels with\n\tfiddle or drum, then the people shall take a wild heifer and bring\n\tit out on the hillside.  Then they shall shave off all hair from the\n\theifer\'s tail, and grease the tail.  Then the artist shall be given\n\tnewly greased shoes.  Then he shall take hold of the heifer\'s tail,\n\tand a man shall strike it with a sharp whip.  If he can hold her, he\n\tshall have the animal.  If he cannot hold her, he shall endure what\n\the received, shame and wounds.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15609,40,'\nSometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a\nfool is despised only because he is a lawyer.\n\t\t-- Montesquieu\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15610,40,'\nTexas law forbids anyone to have a pair of pliers in his possession.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15611,40,'\nThe animals are not as stupid as one thinks -- they have neither\ndoctors nor lawyers.\n\t\t-- L. Docquier\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15612,40,'\n\tThe Arkansas legislature passed a law that states that the Arkansas\nRiver can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15613,40,'\nThe City of Palo Alto, in its official description of parking lot standards,\nspecifies the grade of wheelchair access ramps in terms of centimeters of\nrise per foot of run.  A compromise, I imagine...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15614,40,'\nThe difference between a lawyer and a rooster is that\nthe rooster gets up in the morning and clucks defiance.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15615,40,'\nThe District of Columbia has a law forbidding you to exert pressure on\na balloon and thereby cause a whistling sound on the streets.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15616,40,'\n\tThe judge fined the jaywalker fifty dollars and told him if he was\ncaught again, he would be thrown in jail.  Fine today, cooler tomorrow.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15617,40,'\nThe justifications for drug testing are part of the presently fashionable\ndebate concerning restoring America\'s \"competitiveness.\" Drugs, it has been\nrevealed, are responsible for rampant absenteeism, reduced output, and poor\nquality work.  But is drug testing in fact rationally related to the\nresurrection of competitiveness?  Will charging the atmosphere of the\nworkplace with the fear of excretory betrayal honestly spur productivity?\nMuch noise has been made about rehabilitating the worker using drugs, but\nto date the vast majority of programs end with the simple firing or the not\nhiring of the abuser.  This practice may exacerbate, not alleviate, the\nnation\'s productivity problem.  If economic rehabilitation is the ultimate\ngoal of drug testing, then criteria abandoning the rehabilitation of the\ndrug-using worker is the purest of hypocrisy and the worst of rationalization.\n\t\t-- The concluding paragraph of \"Constitutional Law: The\n\t\t   Fourth Amendment and Drug Testing in the Workplace,\"\n\t\t   Tim Moore, Harvard Journal of Law & Public Policy, vol.\n\t\t   10, No. 3 (Summer 1987), pp. 762-768.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15618,40,'\nThe Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor,\nto sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.\n\t\t-- Anatole France\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15619,40,'\nThe lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance.  He of all men\nshould behave as though the law compelled him.  But it is the universal\nweakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine\nwe own.\n\t\t-- H.G. Wells\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15620,40,'\nThe Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement\n\tIn 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish\nGovernment that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality\nlegislation.  The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal pay\nenforcement officer.  The advertisement offered different salary scales for\nmen and women.\n\t\t-- Stephen Pile, \"The Book of Heroic Failures\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15621,40,'\nThe penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it\nwere not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.\n\t\t-- H. L. Mencken\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15622,40,'\nThe powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor\nprohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively,\nor to the people.\n\t\t-- U.S. Constitution, Amendment 10. (Bill of Rights)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15623,40,'\nThe primary requisite for any new tax law is for it to exempt enough\nvoters to win the next election.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15624,40,'\nThe state law of Pennsylvania prohibits singing in the bathtub.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15625,40,'\nThe Worst Jury\n\tA murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when\none juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the\nremotest clue what was happening.\n\tThe judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any\nevidence at all and, when there was no reply, dismissed him.\n\tThe excitement which this caused was only equalled when a second\njuror revealed that he spoke not a word of English.  A fluent French\nspeaker, he exhibited great surprised when told, after two days, that he\nwas hearing a murder trial.\n\tThe trial was abandoned when a third juror said that he suffered\nfrom both conditions, being simultaneously unversed in the English language\nand nearly as deaf as the first juror.\n\tThe judge ordered a retrial.\n\t\t-- Stephen Pile, \"The Book of Heroic Failures\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15626,40,'\nThere is a Massachusetts law requiring all dogs to have their hind legs\ntied during the month of April.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15627,40,'\nThere is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law.\nNo poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.\n\t\t-- Jean Giraudoux, \"Tiger at the Gates\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15628,40,'\nThere is no doubt that my lawyer is honest.  For example, when he\nfiled his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary\nas \'unearned income.\'\n\t\t-- Michael Lara\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15629,40,'\n\"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial:\nboth sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to\ntalk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him\nduring the trial.\"\n\t\t-- David Letterman\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15630,40,'\nThere\'s no justice in this world.\n\t\t-- Frank Costello, on the prosecution of \"Lucky\" Luciano by\n\t\t   New York district attorney Thomas Dewey after Luciano had\n\t\t   saved Dewey from assassination by Dutch Schultz (by ordering\n\t\t   the assassination of Schultz instead)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15631,40,'\nThis product is meant for educational purposes only.  Any resemblance to real\npersons, living or dead is purely coincidental.  Void where prohibited.  Some\nassembly may be required.  Batteries not included.  Contents may settle during\nshipment.  Use only as directed.  May be too intense for some viewers.  If\ncondition persists, consult your physician.  No user-serviceable parts inside.\nBreaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.  Not responsible for direct,\nindirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error\nor failure to perform.  Slippery when wet.  For office use only.  Substantial\npenalty for early withdrawal.  Do not write below this line.  Your cancelled\ncheck is your receipt.  Avoid contact with skin.  Employees and their families\nare not eligible.  Beware of dog.  Driver does not carry cash.  Limited time\noffer, call now to insure prompt delivery.  Use only in well-ventilated area.\nKeep away from fire or flame.  Some equipment shown is optional.  Price does\nnot include taxes, dealer prep, or delivery.  Penalty for private use.  Call\ntoll free before digging.  Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product\nappear for identification purposes only.  All models over 18 years of age.  Do\nnot use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.  Postage will be\npaid by addressee.  Apply only to affected area.  One size fits all.  Many\nsuitcases look alike.  Edited for television.  No solicitors.  Reproduction\nstrictly prohibited.  Restaurant package, not for resale.  Objects in mirror\nare closer than they appear.  Decision of judges is final.  This supersedes\nall previous notices.  No other warranty expressed or implied.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15632,40,'\nVirginia law forbids bathtubs in the house; tubs must be kept in the yard.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15633,40,'\nWe may not like doctors, but at least they doctor.  Bankers are not ever\npopular but at least they bank.  Policeman police and undertakers take\nunder.  But lawyers do not give us law.  We receive not the gladsome light\nof jurisprudence, but rather precedents, objections, appeals, stays,\nfilings and forms, motions and counter-motions, all at $250 an hour.\n\t\t-- Nolo News, summer 1989\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15634,40,'\nWe should realize that a city is better off with bad laws, so long as they \nremain fixed, then with good laws that are constantly being altered, that\nthe lack of learning combined with sound common sense is more helpful than\nthe kind of cleverness that gets out of hand, and that as a general rule,\nstates are better governed by the man in the street than by intellectuals.\nThese are the sort of people who want to appear wiser than the laws, who\nwant to get their own way in every general discussion, because they feel that\nthey cannot show off their intelligence in matters of greater importance, and\nwho, as a result, very often bring ruin on their country.\n\t\t-- Cleon, Thucydides, III, 37 translation by Rex Warner\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15635,40,'\nWelcome to Utah.\nIf you think our liquor laws are funny, you should see our underwear!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15636,40,'\nWhat do you have when you have six lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?\nNot enough sand.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15637,40,'\nWhen alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm\nyourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him.\n\nStep number 3 is of particular importance.  If you leave the guy alive\nout of misguided softheartedness, he will repay your generosity of spirit\nby suing you for causing his subsequent paraplegia and seek to force you\nto support him for the rest of his rotten life.  In court he will plead\nthat he was depressed because society had failed him, and that he was\nlooking for Mother Teresa for comfort and to offer his services to the\npoor.  In that lawsuit, you will lose.  If, on the other hand, you kill\nhim, the most that you can expect is that a relative will bring a wrongful\ndeath action. You will have two advantages: first, there be only your\nstory; forget Mother Teresa.  Second, even if you lose, how much could\nthe bum\'s life be worth anyway?  A Lot less than 50 years worth of\nparalysis.  Don\'t play George Bush and Saddam Hussein.  Finish the job.\n\t-- G. Gordon Liddy\'s \"Forbes\" column on personal security\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15638,40,'\nWhere it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to\nexamine the laws of heat.\n\t\t-- Christopher Morley\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15639,40,'\nWhy does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?\n\t\t-- Carl Sandburg\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15640,40,'\nWhy does New Jersey have more toxic waste dumps and California have\nmore lawyers?\n\nNew Jersey had first choice.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15641,40,'\nWith Congress, every time they make a joke it\'s a law; and every time\nthey make a law it\'s a joke.\n\t\t-- Will Rogers\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15642,41,'\t      1/2\n\t /\\(3)\n\t |     2\t\t\t  1/3\n\t |    z dz cos(3 * PI / 9) = ln (e   )\n\t |\n\t\\/ 1\n\nThe integral of z squared, dz\nFrom 1 to the square root of 3\n\tTimes the cosine\n\tOf 3 PI over nine\nIs the log of the cube root of e\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15643,41,'\n\t   (1/2)\n\t/ 3\n\t|       2         3 x 3.14            (1/2)\n\t|      z dz  cos (--------)   =  ln(e     )\n\t/ 1\t\t     9\n\nThe integral, from one to root three,\nOf z to the second dz,\n\tTimes the cosine\n\tOf 3 pi over nine\nIs the log of the third root of e.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15644,41,'\n\t12 + 144 + 20 + 3(4)                  2\n\t----------------------  +  5(11)  =  9  +  0\n\t\t  7\n\nA dozen, a gross and a score,\nPlus three times the square root of four,\n\tDivided by seven,\n\tPlus five times eleven,\nEquals nine squared plus zero, no more!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15645,41,'\nA bad little girl in Madrid,\nA most reprehensible kid,\n\tTold her Tante Louise\n\tThat her cunt smelled like cheese,\nAnd the worst of it was that it did!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15646,41,'\nA bather whose clothing was strewed\nBy breezes that left her quite nude,\n\tSaw a man come along\n\tAnd, unless I\'m quite wrong,\nYou expected this line to be lewd.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15647,41,'\nA beat schizophrenic said, \"Me?\nI am not I, I\'m a tree.\"\n\tBut another, more sane,\n\tShouted, \"I\'m a Great Dane!\"\nAnd covered his pants leg with pee.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15648,41,'\nA beautiful belle of Del Norte\nIs reckoned disdainful and haughty\n\tBecause during the day\n\tShe says: \"Boys, keep away!\"\nBut she fucks in the gloaming like forty.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15649,41,'\nA beautiful lady named Psyche\nIs loved by a fellow named Ikey.\n\tOne thing about Ike\n\tThe lady can\'t like\nIs his prick, which is dreadfully spikey.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15650,41,'\nA beetling young woman named Pridgets\nHad a violent abhorrence of midgets;\n\tOff the end of a wharf\n\tShe once pushed a dwarf\nWhose truncation reduced her to fidgets.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15651,41,'\nA big-bosomed Bunny named Gression\nSold cigars at a key-club concession.\n\tWhen she swiveled about\n\tEven strong men cried out,\nFor her costume did not keep her flesh in.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15652,41,'\nA bisexual chap name of Lunt\nTaught himself an unusual stunt.\nHe could peel back his spout\nTurn the skin inside out\nLike a glove, to be used as a cunt!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15653,41,'\nA bobby of Nottingham Junction\nWhose organ had long ceased to function\n\tDeceived his good wife\n\tFor the rest of her life\nWith the aid of his constable\'s truncheon.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15654,41,'\nA broken-down harlot named Tupps\nWas heard to confess in her cups:\n\t\"The height of my folly\n\tWas fucking a collie --\nBut I got a nice price for the pups.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15655,41,'\nA burlesque dancer, a pip\nNamed Virginia, could peel in a zip;\n\tBut she read science fiction\n\tAnd died of constriction\nAttempting a Moebius strip.\n\t\t-- Cyril Kornbluth, \"The Unfortunate Topology\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15656,41,'\nA busy young lady named Gloria\nWas had by Sir Gerald du Maurier\n\tAnd then by six men,\n\tSir Gerald again,\nAnd the band at the Waldorf-Astoria.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15657,41,'\nA cabin boy on an old clipper\nGrew steadily flipper and flipper.\n\tHe plugged up his ass\n\tWith fragments of glass\nAnd thus circumcised his old skipper.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15658,41,'\nA cautious young fellow named Lodge,\nHad seatbelts installed in his Dodge.\n\tWith his date all strapped in\n\tHe committed a sin\nWithout even leaving the garage.\n\t\t-- \"A Boy and His Dog\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15659,41,'\nA cautious young fellow named Tunney\nHad a whang that was worth any money.\n\tWhen eased in half-way,\n\tThe girl\'s sigh made him say,\n\"Why the sigh?\"  \"For the rest of it, honey.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15660,41,'\nA certain young man, it was noted,\nWent about in the heat thickly-coated;\n\tHe said, \"You may scoff,\n\tBut I shan\'t take it off;\nUnderneath I am horribly bloated.\"\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15661,41,'\nA certain young person of Ghent,\nUncertain if lady or gent,\n\tShows his organs at large\n\tFor a small handling charge\nTo assist him in paying the rent.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15662,41,'\nA certain young sheik of Algiers\nSaid to his harem, \"My dears,\n\tThough you may think it odd of me,\n\tI\'m tired of just sodomy\nLet\'s try straight fucking.\"  (loud cheers!)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15663,41,'\nA chap down in Oklahoma\nHad a cock that could sing La Paloma,\n\tBut the sweetness of pitch\n\tCouldn\'t put off the hitch\nOf impotence, size and aroma.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15664,41,'\nA charmer from old Amarillo,\nSick of finding strange heads on her pillow,\n\tDecided one day\n\tThat to keep men away\nShe would stuff up her crevice with Brillo.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15665,41,'\nA chippy who worked in Black Bluff\nHad a pussy as large as a muff.\n\tIt had room for both hands\n\tAnd some intimate glands,\nAnd was soft as a little duck\'s fluff.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15666,41,'\nA clergical student named Simms\nHums liturgical tunes while he rims:\n\tA nice piece of ass\n\tGets the B-Minor Mass ...\nAll the others get Anglican hymns.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15667,41,'\nA clerical student named Pryne\nThrough pain sought to reach the divine:\n\tHe wore a hair shirt,\n\tQuite often ate dirt,\nAnd bathed every Friday in brine.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15668,41,'\nA clever young man named Eugene\nInvented a jack-off machine.\n\tOn the twenty-third stroke\n\tThe fuckin\' thing broke\nAnd beat both his balls to a cream.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15669,41,'\nA cocksucking steno named Beeman\nRemarked as she swallowed my semen :\n\t\"On my minuscule salary\n\t I must watch every calorie,\nSo I get `ahead\' eating you he-men!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15670,41,'\nA computer called Illiac4\nHad a rather tough bug in its core.\n\tIt chewed up its cards\n\tAnd spewed yards and yards\nOf illegible tape on the floor.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15671,41,'\nA computer, to print out a fact,\nWill divide, multiply, and subtract.\n\tBut this output can be\n\tNo more than debris,\nIf the input was short of exact.\n\t\t-- Gigo\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15672,41,'\nA contortionist hailing from Lynch\nUsed to rent out his tool by the inch.\n\tA foot cost a quid --\n\tHe could and he did\nStretch it to three in a pinch.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15673,41,'\nA corpulent maiden named Kroll\nHad a notion exceedingly droll:\n\tAt a masquerade ball,\n\tDressed in nothing at all,\nShe backed in as a Parker House roll.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15674,41,'\nA couple was fishing near Clombe\nWhen the maid began looking quite glum,\n\tAnd said, \"Bother the fish!\n\tI\'d rather coish!\"\nWhich they did -- which was why they had come.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15675,41,'\nA cowhand way out in Seattle\nHad a dooflicker flat as a paddle.\n\tHe said, \"No, I can\'t fuck\n\tA lamb or a duck,\nBut golly! it just fits the cattle.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15676,41,'\nA crusader\'s wife slipped from the garrison\nAnd had an affair with a Saracen.\n\tShe was not oversexed,\n\tOr jealous or vexed,\nShe just wanted to make a comparison.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15677,41,'\nA crusader\'s wife slipped from the garrison\nAnd had an affair with a Saracen.\n\tShe was not oversexed,\n\tOr jealous or vexed,\nShe just wanted to make a comparison.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15678,41,'\nA CS student named Lin\nHad a prick the size of a pin\n\tIt was no good for girls\n\tBut just great for squirrels\nWho squealed with delight with it in.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15679,41,'\nA cute little twerp from Samoa\nHad a cock of one inch and no moa.\n\tIt was good for keyholes\n\tAnd debutantes\' peeholes\nBut not worth a damn on a whoa.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15680,41,'\nA daredevil skater named Lowe,\nLeaps barrels arranged in the snow,\n\tBut is proudest of doing,\n\tSome incredible screwing,\nSince he\'s jumped thirteen girls in a row!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15681,41,'\nA deep-throated virgin named Netty\nWas sucking a cock on the jetty.\n\tShe said, \"It tastes nice,\n\tMuch better than rice,\nThough not quite as good as spaghetti.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15682,41,'\nA delighted, incredulous bride\nRemarked to her groom at her side :\n\t\"I never could quite\n\t Believe till tonight\nOur anatomies would coincide.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15683,41,'\nA dentist, young doctor Malone,\nGot a charming girl patient alone,\n\tAnd, in his depravity,\n\tFilled the wrong cavity.\nGod, how his practice has grown.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15684,41,'\nA despairing old landlord named Fyfe,\nWith a frigid and quarrelsome wife,\n\tLet his third-story front,\n\tTo a willing young cunt,\nWho supplied him a new lease on life!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15685,41,'\nA desperate spinster from Clare\nOnce knelt in the moonlight all bare,\n\tAnd prayed to her God\n\tFor a romp on the sod--\n\'Twas a passerby answered her prayer.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15686,41,'\nA distinguished professor from Swarthmore\nGot along with a sexy young sophomore.\n\tAs quick as a glance\n\tHe stripped off his pants,\nBut he found that the sophomore\'d got off more.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15687,41,'\nA do-it-yourselfer named Alice,\nUsed a dynamite stick for a phallus.\n\tShe blew her vagina\n\tTo South Carolina,\nAnd her tits landed somewhere in Dallas.\n\nA cute friend of hers, Fanny Hill,\nUsed two dynamite sticks for a dil.\n\tThey found her vagina,\n\tIn South Carolina,\nAnd part of her ass in Brazil.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15688,41,'\nA doctoral student from Buckingham\nWrote his thesis on cunts and on fucking\'em.\n\tBut a dropout from paree\n\tTaught him Gamahuchee\nSo he added a footnote on sucking \'em.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15689,41,'\nA dolly in Dallas named Alice,\nWhose overworked sex is all callous,\n\tWore the foreskin away\n\tOn uncircumcised Ray,\nThrough exuberance, tightness, and malice.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15690,41,'\nA dozen, a gross, and a score,\nPlus three times the square root of four,\n\tDivided by seven,\n\tPlus five times eleven,\nEquals nine squared plus zero, no more.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15691,41,'\nA dreary young bank clerk named Fennis\nWished to foster an aura of menace.\n\tTo make people afraid\n\tHe wore gloves of grey suede\nAnd white footgear intended for tennis.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey, \"Amphigorey\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15692,41,'\nA dulcet-voiced callgirl named Shedd,\nWho\'s cultured, well-spoken, well-bred,\n\tHad achieved some reknown\n\tFor her tone going down--\nThere\'s a nice civil tongue in her head.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15693,41,'\nA fair-haired young damsel named Grace\nThought it very, very foolish to place\n\tHer hand on your cock\n\tWhen it turned hard as rock,\nFor fear it would explode in your face.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15694,41,'\nA farmer I know named O\'Doole\nHad a long and incredible tool.\n\tHe can use it to plow,\n\tOr to diddle a cow,\nOr just as a cue-stick at pool.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15695,41,'\nA fellatrix\'s healthful condition\nProved the value of spunk as nutrition.\n\tHer remarkable diet\n\t(I suggest that you try it)\nWas only her clients\' emission.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15696,41,'\nA fellow whose surname was Hunt\nTrained his cock to perform a slick stunt:\n\tThis versatile spout\n\tCould be turned inside out,\nLike a glove, and be used as a cunt.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15697,41,'\nA fisherman off of Cape Cod\nSaid, \"I\'ll bugger that tuna, by God!\"\n\tBut the high-minded fish\n\tResented his wish,\nAnd nimbly swam off with his rod.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15698,41,'\nA foolish geologist from Kissen\nJust didn\'t know what he was missin\',\n\tBy studying rock\n\tAnd neglecting his cock,\nAnd using it merely for pissin\'.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15699,41,'\nA Frenchman who lived in Alsace\nHad sex with a virgin named Grace.\n\tWhen he popped her cherry,\n\tShe made things hairy\nBy bleeding all over his face.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15700,41,'\nA gay young prince from Morocco\nMade love in a manner rococco.\n\tHe painted his penis\n\tTo resemble a venus\nAnd flavored his semen with cocoa.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15701,41,'\nA geneticist living in Delft\nScientifically played with himself,\n\tAnd when he was done\n\tHe labled it: son,\nAnd filed him away on a shelf.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15702,41,'\nA gentleman, otherwise meek,\nDetested with passion the leek;\n\tWhen offered one out\n\tHe dealt such a clout\nTo the maid, she was down for a week.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15703,41,'\nA german composer named Bruckner\nRemarked to a lady while fuckener :\n\t\"Less lento, my dear,\n\t With your cute little rear;\nI like a hot presto when muckener!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15704,41,'\nA gift was delivered to Laura\nFrom a cousin who lived in Gomorrah;\n\tWrapped in tissue and crepe,\n\tIt was peeled, like a grape,\nAnd emitted a pale, greenish aura.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15705,41,'\nA gifted young fellow from Sparta\nWas widely renowned as a farta\'.\n\tHe could fart anything\n\tFrom \"Of Thee I Sing,\"\nTo Beethoven\'s \"Moonlight Sonata.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15706,41,'\nA girl camper once had an affair\nWith a fellow all covered with hair.\n\tWhen she gave him his hat\n\tShe realized that\nShe\'d been had by Smokey the Bear.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15707,41,'\nA girl of the Enterprise crew\nRefused every offer to screw.\n\tBut a Vulcan named Spock\n\tCrawled under her smock,\nAnd now she is eating for two.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15708,41,'\nA girl of uncertain nativity\nHad an ass of extreme sensitivity\n\tWhile she sat on the lap\n\tOf a German or Jap,\nShe could sense Fifth Column activity.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15709,41,'\nA graduate student named Zac\nWas said to be great in the sack.\n\tAn inch of his boner\n\tPut girls in a coma\nAnd two gave them epileptic attacks.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15710,41,'\nA greedy young lady from Sidney\nLiked it in up to her kidney,\n\tTill a man from Quebec\n\tShoved it up to her neck--\nHe really diddled her, didn\' he?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15711,41,'\nA green-thumbed young farmer from Leeds\nOnce swallowed a package of seeds.\n\tIn a month, his ass\n\tWas covered with grass\nAnd his balls were grown over with weeds.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15712,41,'\nA guest in a household quite charmless\nWas informed its eccentric was harmless:\n\t\"If you\'re caught unawares\n\tAt the head of the stairs,\nJust remember, he\'s eyeless and armless.\"\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15713,41,'\nA habit depraved and unsavory\nHeld the bishop of Bingham in slavery.\n\tMidst screeches and howls,\n\tHe deflowered young owls,\nWhich he kept in an underground aviary.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15714,41,'\nA habit obscene and bizarre,\nHas taken a-hold of papa.\n\tHe brings home young camels\n\tAnd other odd mammals,\nAnd gives them a go at mama.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15715,41,'\nA hacker who screwed a mag tape\nWas caught and convicted of rape.\n\tTo jail he did go,\n\tFrom which, to his woe\nHe couldn\'t get out with ESC.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15716,41,'\nA hacker-turned-pervert named Fisk\nMade love to the drive of his disk.\n\tThe thing circumsized him,\n\tWhich rather suprised him.\nHe wasn\'t aware of *that* risk.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15717,41,'\nA handsome young rodent named Gratian\nAs a lifeguard became a sensation.\n\tAll the lady mice waved\n\tAnd screamed to be saved\nBy his mouse-to-mouse resuscitation.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15718,41,'\nA happy old hooker named Grace\nOnce sponsored a cunt-lapping race.\n\tIt was hard for beginners\n\tTo tell who were winners :\nThere were cunt hairs all over the place.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15719,41,'\nA hardware debugger named Court\nShoved his tool in an Ethernet port.\n\tBut its buffer array\n\tOnly handled 1K,\nSo the port\'s driver cut it off short.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15720,41,'\nA haughty young wench of Del Norte\nWould fuck only men over forty.\n\tSaid she, \"It\'s too quick\n\tWith a young fellow\'s prick;\nI like it to last, and be warty.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15721,41,'\nA headstrong young woman in Ealing\nThrew her two weeks\' old child at the ceiling;\n\tWhen quizzed why she did,\n\tShe replied, \"To be rid\nOf a strange, overpowering feeling.\"\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15722,41,'\nA hearty young fellow named Yost\nOnce had an affair with a ghost.\n\tAt the height of the spasm\n\tThe poor ectoplasm\nCried, \"Goodie, I feel it ... almost.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15723,41,'\nA hidebound young virgin named Carrie\nWould say, when the fellows got hairy :\n\t\"Keep your prick in your pants\n\tTill the end of this dance--\"\nWhich is why Carrie still has her cherry.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15724,41,'\nA highly aesthetic young Jew\nHad eyes of a heavenly blue;\n\tThe end of his dillie\n\tWas shaped like a lilly,\nAnd his balls were too utterly two!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15725,41,'\nA highway patrol buff named Claire,\nOnce screwed half a troop on a dare,\n\tAnd her parts grew so hot,\n\tThere was steam on her twat,\nSo they nicknamed her Smokey the Bare!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15726,41,'\nA horny young fellow named Reg,\nWas jerking off under a hedge.\n\tThe gardener drew near\n\tWith a huge pruning shear,\nAnd trimmed off the edge of his wedge.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15727,41,'\nA huge-organed female in Dallas,\nNamed Alice, who yearned for a phallus,\n\tWas virgo intacto,\n\tBecause, ipso facto,\nNo phallus in Dallas fit Alice.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15728,41,'\nA joker who haunts Monticello\nIs really a terrible fellow.\n\tIn the midst of caresses\n\tHe fills ladies dresses\nWith garter snakes, ice cubes, and jello.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15729,41,'\nA lacklustre lady of Brougham\nWeaveth all night at her loom.\n\tAnon she doth blench\n\tWhen her lord and his wench\nPull a chain in the neighbouring room.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15730,41,'\nA lad from far-off Transvaal\nWas lustful, but tactful withal.\n\tHe\'d say, just for luck,\n\t\"Mam\'selle, do you fuck?\"\nBut he\'d bow till he almost would crawl.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15731,41,'\nA lad of the brainier kind\nHad erogenous zones in his mind.\n\tHe got his sensations,\n\tBy solving equations,\n(Of course, in the end, he went blind.)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15732,41,'\nA lad, at his first copulation,\nCried, \"What a sensation!  Inflation,\n\tGyration, elation\n\tThroughout the duration,\nI guess I\'ll give up masturbation.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15733,41,'\nA lady born under a curse\nUsed to drive forth each day in a hearse;\n\tFrom the back she would wail\n\tThrough a thickness of veil:\n\"Things do not get better, but worse.\"\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15734,41,'\nA lady both callous and brash\nMet a man with a vast black moustache;\n\tShe cried, \"Shave it, O do!\n\tAnd I\'ll put it with glue\nOn my hat as a sort of panache.\"\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15735,41,'\nA lady from Kalamazoo\nOnce found she had nothing to do,\n\tSo she sat on the stairs\n\tAnd she counted her hairs:\n4,302.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15736,41,'\nA lady from Old Little Rock\nIn fidelity took little stock,\n\tAnd deserted her man\n\tIn the streets of Japan\nFor a boy with a prehensile cock.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15737,41,'\nA lady removing her scanties,\nHeard them crackle electrical chanties.\n\tSaid her beau, \"Have no fear,\n\tFor the reason is clear:\nYou simply have amps in your panties.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15738,41,'\nA lady stockholder quite hetera\nDecided her fortune to bettera:\n\tOn the floor, quite unclad,\n\tShe successively had\nMerrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner, et cetera...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15739,41,'\nA lady was seized with intent\nTo revise her existence misspent.\n\tSo she climbed up the dome\n\tOf St. Peter\'s in Rome,\nWhere she stayed through the following Lent.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15740,41,'\nA lady who signs herself \"Vexed\"\nWrites to say she believes she\'s been hexed:\n\t\"I don\'t mind my shins\n\tBeing stuck full of pins,\nBut I fear I am coming unsexed.\"\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15741,41,'\nA lady with features cherubic\nWas famed for her area pubic.\n\tWhen they asked her its size\n\tShe replied in surprise,\n\"Are you speaking of square feet, or cubic?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15742,41,'\nA lady, while dining in Crewe,\nFound an elephant\'s whang in her stew.\n\tSaid the waiter, \"Don\'t shout\n\tOr wave it about\nOr the others will ask for one, too.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15743,41,'\nA lass at the foot of her class\nAsked a brainier chick how to pass.\n\tShe replied, \"With no fuss\n\tYou can get a B-plus,\nBy letting the prof pat your ass.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15744,41,'\nA lecherous barkeep named Dale,\nAfter fucking his favorite female,\n\tMixed Drambuie and scotch\n\tWith the cream in her crotch\nFor a lustier, Rusty-er Nail.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15745,41,'\nA licentious old justice of Salem\nUsed to catch all the harlots and jail \'em.\n\tBut instead of a fine\n\tHe would stand them in line,\nWith his common-law tool to impale \'em.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15746,41,'\nA limerick packs laughs anatomical\nInto space that is quite economical.\n\tBut the good ones I\'ve seen\n\tSo seldom are clean,\nAnd the clean ones so seldom are comical.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15747,41,'\nA linguist thought it a farce\nThat memory space was so sparse.\n\tOne day they increased it.\n\tSaid he as he seized it:\n\"At last! Enough core for the parse\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15748,41,'\nA lonely young lad of Eton\nUsed always to sleep with the heat on,\n\tTill he ran into a lass\n\tWho showed him her ass --\nNow they sleep with only a sheet on.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15749,41,'\nA lovely young diver named Nancy,\nWore a bikini bottom quite chancy,\n\tThe fish of Bonaire,\n\tWatched her Derriere,\nAnd the sea fans all tickled her fancy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15750,41,'\nA lovely young maid from St. Jude\nOnce rode through the streets in the nude.\n\tThe police cried, \"Whatam--\n\tAgnificent bottom\"\nAnd slapped it as hard as they cude.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15751,41,'\nA lusty young maid from Seattle\nGot pleasure by sleeping with cattle;\n\tTill she found a bull\n\tWho filled her so full\nIt made both her ovaries rattle.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15752,41,'\nA lusty young woodsman of Maine\nFor years with no woman had lain,\n\tBut he found sublimation\n\tAt a high elevation\nIn the crotch of a pine -- God, the pain!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15753,41,'\nA madam who ran a bordello\nPut come in her pineapple jello,\n\tFor the rich, sexy taste\n\tAnd not wanting to waste\nThat greasy kid stuff from a fellow.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15754,41,'\nA maestro directing in Rome\nHad a quaint way of driving it home.\n\tWhoever he climbed\n\tHad to keep her tail timed\nTo the beat of his old metronome.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15755,41,'\nA maiden who lived in Virginny\nHad a cunt that could bark, neigh and whinny.\n\tThe horsey set rushed her,\n\tBut success finally crushed her\nFor her tone soon became harsh and tinny.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15756,41,'\nA maiden who travelled in France\nOnce got on a train, just by chance.\n\tThe engineer fucked her,\n\tThe conductor sucked her,\nAnd the fireman came in his pants.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15757,41,'\nA maiden who wrote of big cities\nSome songs full of love, fun and pities,\n\tSold her stuff at the shop\n\tOf a musical wop\nWho played with her soft little titties.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15758,41,'\nA major, with wonderful force,\nCalled out in Hyde Park for a horse.\n\tAll the flowers looked round,\n\tBut no horse could be found;\nSo he just rhododendron, of course.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15759,41,'\nA man was once heard to boast,\nThat he received a parcel by post,\n\tIt contained, so we heard,\n\tA magnificent turd,\nAnd the balls of his grandfather\'s ghost.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15760,41,'\nA marine being sent to Hong Kong\nGot a doctor to alter his dong.\n\tHe sailed off with a tool\n\tFlat and thin as a rule -\nWhen he got there he found he was wrong.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15761,41,'\nA mathematician named Hall\nHas a hexahedronical ball,\n\tAnd the cube of its weight\n\tTimes his pecker\'s, plus eight\nIs his phone number -- give him a call...\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15762,41,'\nA mathematician named Klein\nThought the Mobius band was divine.\n\tSaid he, \"If you glue\n\tThe edges of two,\nYou\'ll get a weird bottle like mine!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15763,41,'\nA middle-aged codger named Bruin\nFound his love life completely in ruin,\n\tFor he flirted with flirts\n\tWearing pants and no skirts,\nAnd he never got in for no screwin\'.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15764,41,'\nA milkmaid there was, with a stutter,\nWho was lonely and wanted a futter.\n\tShe had nowhere to turn,\n\tSo she diddled a churn,\nAnd managed to come with the butter.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15765,41,'\nA mortician who practised in Fife\nMade love to the corpse of his wife.\n\t\"How could I know, Judge?\n\tShe was cold, did not budge--\nJust the same as she\'d acted in life.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15766,41,'\nA nasty old drunk in Carmel\nThinks it funny to piss in the well.\n\tHe says, \"Some don\'t favor\n\tThat unusual flavor,\nBut I don\'t drink the stuff -- what the hell!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15767,41,'\nA nervous young fellow named Fred\nTook a charming young widow to bed.\n\tWhen he\'d diddled a while\n\tShe remarked with a smile,\n\"You\'ve got it all in but the head.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15768,41,'\nA new dramatist of the absurd\nHas a voice that will shortly be heard.\n\tI learn from my spies\n\tHe\'s about to devise\nAn unprintable three-letter word.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15769,41,'\nA new dramatist of the absurd\nHas a voice that will shortly be heard.\n\tI learn from my spies\n\tHe\'s about to devise\nAn unprintable three-letter word.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15770,41,'\nA newly-wed man of Peru\nFound himself in a terrible stew:\n\tHis wife was in bed\n\tMuch deader than dead,\nAnd so he had no one to screw.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15771,41,'\nA newlywed couple from Goshen\nSpent their honeymoon sailing the ocean.\n\tIn twenty-eight days\n\tThey got laid eighty ways --\nImagine such fucking devotion!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15772,41,'\nA notorious whore named Ms. Hearst,\nIn the pleasures of men was well-versed.\n\tReads the sign o\'er the head\n\tOf her well-rumpled bed\n\"The customer always comes first.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15773,41,'\nA novice was told by the Abbot:\n\"Consider the goat and the rabbit.\n\tWhile they roll in the hay\n\tYou just stay home and pray.\nYou\'ve got to get out of that habit.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15774,41,'\nA nudist resort at Benares\nTook a midget in all unawares.\n\tBut he made members weep\n\tFor he just couldn\'t keep\nHis nose out of private affairs.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15775,41,'\nA nurse motivated by spite\nTied her infantine charge to a kite;\n\tShe launched it with ease\n\tOn the afternoon breeze,\nAnd watched till it flew out of sight.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15776,41,'\nA pansy who lived in Khartoum\nTook a lesbian up to his room.\n\tThey argued all night\n\tOver who had the right\nTo do what, with which, and to whom.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15777,41,'\nA passionate red-haired girl\nWhen you kissed her, her senses would whirl,\n\tAnd her twat would get wet,\n\tAnd would wiggle and fret,\nAnd her cunt-lips would curl and unfurl.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15778,41,'\nA pathetic old maid of Bordeaux\nFell in love with a dashing young beau.\n\tTo arrest his regard\n\tShe would squat in his yard\nAnd longingly pee in the sneaux.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15779,41,'\nA petulant man once said, \"Pish,\nYour cunt is as big as a dish.\"\n\tShe replied, \"Why, you fool,\n\tWith your limp little tool,\nIt\'s like driving a pin with a fish.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15780,41,'\nA physical fellow named Fisk\nCould screw at a rate very brisk.\n\tSo fast was his action\n\tThe Fitzgerald contraction\nWould shrink up his rod to a disk.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15781,41,'\nA pious old woman named Tweak\nHad taught her vagina to speak.\n\tIt was frequently liable\n\tTo quote from the Bible,\nBut when fucking -- not even a squeak!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15782,41,'\nA pious young lady named Finnegan\nWould caution her friend, \"Well, you\'re in again;\n\tSo time it aright,\n\tMake it last through the night,\nFor I certainly don\'t want to sin again!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15783,41,'\nA pious young lady of Chichester\nMade all of the saints in their niches stir\n\tAnd each morning at matin\n\tHer breast in pink satin\nMade the bishop of Chichester\'s breeches stir.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15784,41,'\nA playful young chemist named Byrd\nHad an urge that could not be deferred.\n\tSo to irritate Knox\n\tHe shit in his sox,\nAnd plastered the walls with his turd.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15785,41,'\nA plumber whose name was John Brink\nPlumbed the cook as she bent o\'er the sink.\n\tHer resistance was stout,\n\tAnd John Brink petered out,\nWith his pipe-wrench all limber and pink.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15786,41,'\nA potter who lived in Bombay\nOnce fashioned a cunt out of clay;\n\tBut the heat of his prick\n\tKilned the damn thing to brick\nAnd chafed all his foreskin away.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15787,41,'\nA pretty wife living in Tours\nDemanded her daily amour.\n\tBut the husband said, \"No!\n\tIt\'s to much.  Let it go!\nMy backsides are dragging the floor.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15788,41,'\nA pretty young boy known as Kevin\nWas raped in a pasture by seven\n\tLascivious beasts\n\t(Oh, those Anglican priests)\nAnd such is the Kingdom of Heaven.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15789,41,'\nA pretty young lady named Vogel\nOnce sat herself down on a molehill.\n\tA curious mole\n\tNosed into her hole --\nMs. Vogel\'s okay, but the mole\'s ill.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15790,41,'\nA pretty young maiden from France\nDecided she\'d \"just take a chance.\"\n\tShe let herself go\n\tFor an hour or so,\nAnd now all her sisters are aunts.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15791,41,'\nA princess who lived near a bog\nMet a prince in the form of a frog.\n\tNow she and her prince\n\tAre the parents of quints,\nFour boys and one fine polliwog.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15792,41,'\nA princess who reigned in Baroda\nMade her home on a purple pagoda.\n\tShe festooned the walls\n\tOf her halls with the balls\nAnd the tools of the fools who be-stroda\'.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15793,41,'\nA programmer down in Moline\nSaid, I\'m the match for any machine.\n\tMy secret\'s aversion,\n\tTo loops and recursion,\nJust acres of in-line routine.\n\t\t-- W.J. Wilson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15794,41,'\nA progressive professor named Winners\nHeld classes each evening for sinners.\n\tThey were graded and spaced\n\tSo the vile and debased\nWould not be held back by beginners.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15795,41,'\nA rapist who reeked of cheap booze\nAttempted to ravish Miss Hughes.\n\tShe cried, \"I suppose\n\tThere\'s no time for my clothes,\nBut PLEASE let me take off my shoes!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15796,41,'\nA rapturous young fellatrix\nOne day was at work on five pricks.\n\tWith an unholy cry\n\tShe whipped out her glass eye:\n\"Tell the boys I can now take on six.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15797,41,'\nA reckless young lady of France\nHad no qualms about taking a chance,\n\tBut she thought it was crude\n\tTo get screwed in the nude,\nSo she always went home with damp pants.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15798,41,'\nA remarkable race are the Persians;\nThey have such peculiar diversions.\n\tThey make love the whole day\n\tIn the usual way\nAnd save up the nights for perversions.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15799,41,'\nA responsive young girl from the East\nIn bed was an able artiste.\n\tShe had learned two positions\n\tFrom family physicians,\nAnd ten more from the old parish priest.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15800,41,'\nA romantic attraction has clung\nTo a chap of whom damsels have sung:\n\t\"\'Tis the Scourge from the East,\n\tThat lascivious beast\nWho was known as Attila the Hung!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15801,41,'\nA sailor who slept in the sun,\nWoke to find his fly buttons undone,\n\tHe remarked with a smile,\n\t\"Good grief, a sun-dial!\nAnd now it\'s a quarter-past one.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15802,41,'\nA savvy young hooker named Gail\nGot busted and lodged in the jail.\n\tBut the jailer got hot,\n\tTo be lodged in her twat,\nAnd so Gail made the bail with her tail.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15803,41,'\nA scandal involving an oyster\nSent the Countess of Clews to a cloister\n\tShe preferred it, in bed,\n\tTo the count (so she said)\n\'Cause it\'s longer and stronger and moister.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15804,41,'\nA scream from the crypt of St. Giles\nResounded for miles upon miles.\n\tSaid the friar, \"Good gracious,\n\tThe brother Ignatious\nForgeteth the abbot hath piles.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15805,41,'\nA seafaring hacker named Slatey\nWent to bed with a VAX/780.\n\tThe thing\'s learned to swear\n\tWith a nautical air,\nAnd refers to its users as \"matey\".\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15806,41,'\nA sex-loving coed named Bree\nCaught the clap from her Apple IIE.\n\tThe joystick, she found,\n\tHad been fooling around\nWith a neighboring student\'s PC.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15807,41,'\nA silly young man from Hong Kong\nHad hands that were skinny and long.\n\tHe ate rice with his fingers--\n\tThe taste of it lingers,\nBut now all his fingers are gone.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15808,41,'\nA slick talking pirate named Bruce\nTo steal code, had a plan to seduce\n\tAn Apple II+.\n\tNow Bruce wears a truss\nAnd was jailed for computer abuse.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15809,41,'\nA software technician from Digital\nHad hardware extremely prodigical.\n\tIt\'s rumoured, I hear,\n\tThat when he was near\nHe made the ladies all flustered and fidgital.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15810,41,'\nA space shuttle pilot named Ventry,\nMade love to a lovely girl sentry.\n\tShe started to pout,\n\tBecause it fell out,\nBut the mission was saved by re-entry.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15811,41,'\nA sperm faced, alack and forsooth,\nHis moment of sexual truth.\n\tHe\'d expected to fall\n\tOn a womb\'s spongy wall\nBut was dashed to his death on a tooth.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15812,41,'\nA spinster in Kalamazoo\nOnce strolled after dark by the zoo.\n\tShe was seized by the nape,\n\tAnd fucked by an ape,\nAnd she murmured, \"A wonderful screw.\"\n\nAnd she added, \"You\'re rough, yes, and hairy,\nBut I hope -- yes I do -- that I marry\n\tA man with a prick\n\tHalf as stiff and as thick\nAs the kind that you zoo-keepers carry.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15813,41,'\nA spunky young schoolboy named Fred\nUsed totoss off each night while in bed.\n\tSaid his mother, \"Dear lad,\n\tThat\'s exceedingly bad--\nJump in here with your mamma instead.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15814,41,'\nA starship commander named Kirk\nEmerged from his cabin berserk.\n\tHe grabbed a girl yeoman\n\tBeneath the abdomen,\nAnd gave her a physical jerk.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15815,41,'\nA stout Gaelic warrior, McPherson,\nWas having a captive, a person\n\tWho was not averse\n\tThough she had the curse,\nAnd he\'d breeches of bristling furs on.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15816,41,'\nA structured programmer named Drew\nWas intensely turned on by \"goto\".\n\tWhen he saw it in code\n\tHe\'d shoot off his load.\nIt\'s a good thing his shop used so few.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15817,41,'\nA studious professor named Nestor\nBet a whore all his books that he could best her.\n\tBut she drained out his balls\n\tAnd skipped up the walls,\nBeseeching poor Nestor to rest her.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15818,41,'\nA sweetheart named Teresa Arden\nWent down on her beau in the garden.\n\tHe said, \"Good lord, Tess,\n\tDon\'t swallow that mess!\"\nAnd she replied, \"Ulp, beg your pardon?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15819,41,'\nA systems programmer named Sprotic\nFound his software intensely erotic.\n\tIn jealous distress\n\tHe wiped his OS.\nIt\'s possible that he\'s psychotic.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15820,41,'\nA talented fuckstress, Miss Chisholm,\nWas renowned for her fine paroxysm.\n\tWhile the man detumesced\n\tShe still spent on with zest,\nHer rapture sheer anachronism.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15821,41,'\nA talented girl from Detroit\nCould fuck you in ways quite adroit.\n\tShe could squeeze her vagina\n\tTo a pin-point or finer\nOr open it out like a quoit.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15822,41,'\nA team playing baseball in Dallas\nCalled the umpire blind out of malice.\n\tWhile this worthy had fits\n\tThe team made eight hits\nAnd a girl in the bleachers named Alice.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15823,41,'\nA teenage protester named Lil\nCried, \"Those watergate spies make me ill\n\tFirst they bugged our martinis,\n\tOur bras and bikinis,\nAnd now they are bugging the pill.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15824,41,'\nA thrice-married gal from L.A.\nSaid, \"My hymen\'s intact to this day,\n\t\'Cause my first (a shrink) talked of it,\n\tThe voyeur only gawked at it,\nAnd my most recent man\'s a gourmet.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15825,41,'\nA tidy young lady of Streator\nDearly loved to nibble a peter.\n\tShe always would say,\n\t\"I prefer it this way.\nI think it is very much neater.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15826,41,'\nA timid young woman named Jane\nFound parties a terrible strain;\n\tWith movements uncertain\n\tShe\'d hide in a curtain\nAnd make sounds like a rabbit in pain.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15827,41,'\nA tired young trollop of Nome\nWas worn out from her toes to her dome.\n\tEight miners came screwing,\n\tBut she said, \"Nothing doing;\nOne of you has to go home!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15828,41,'\nA trapper named Francois Lefebvre\nOnce captured and buggered a beabvre.\n\tThe result of this fuck\n\tWas a three titted duck,\nA canoe, and an Irish retriebvre.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15829,41,'\nA tutor who tooted a flute\nTried to tutor two tutors to toot\n\tSaid the two to the tutor:\n\t\"Is it harder to toot or\nTo tutor two tutors to toot\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15830,41,'\nA UNIX saleslady, Lenore,\nEnjoys work, but she likes the beach more.\n\tShe found a good way\n\tTo combine work and play:\nShe sells C shells by the seashore.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15831,41,'\nA vengeful technician named Schmitz\nCaused a disk drive to go on the fritz.\n\tHe covered the platter\n\tWith bats\' fecal matter.\nNow it\'s seek time is really the pits.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15832,41,'\nA very intelligent turtle\nFound programming UNIX a hurdle\n\tThe system, you see,\n\tRan as slow as did he,\nAnd that\'s not saying much for the turtle.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15833,41,'\nA very intelligent turtle\nFound programming UNIX a hurdle\n\tThe system, you see,\n\tRan as slow as did he,\nAnd that\'s not saying much for the turtle.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15834,41,'\nA very odd pair are the Pitts:\nHis balls are as large as her tits,\n\tHer tits are as large\n\tAs an invasion barge--\nNeither knows how the other cohabits.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15835,41,'\nA wanton young lady from Wimley\nReproached for not acting quite primly\n\tSaid, \"Heavens above!\n\tI know sex isn\'t love,\nBut it\'s such an entrancing facsimile.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15836,41,'\nA water pipe suited miss Hunt;\nShe used it for many a bunt.\n\tBut the unlucky wench\n\tGot it caught in her trench ---\nIt took twenty-two men and a big Stillson wrench,\nTo get the thing out of her cunt. \n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15837,41,'\nA weary old lecher named Blott\nTook a luscious young blond to his yacht.\n\tToo lazy to rape her,\n\tHe made darts out of paper,\nWhich he leisurely tossed at her twat.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15838,41,'\nA whimsical fellow named Bloch\nCould beat the base drum with his cock.\n\tWith a special erection\n\tHe could play a selection\nFrom Johann Sebastian Bach.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15839,41,'\nA wicked stone cutter named Cary\nDrilled holes in divine statuary.\n\tWith eyes full of malice\n\tHe pulled out his phallus,\nAnd buggered a stone Virgin Mary.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15840,41,'\nA wide-bottomed girl named Trasket\nHad a hole as big as a basket.\n\tA spot, as a bride,\n\tIn it now, you could hide,\nAnd include with your luggage your mascot.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15841,41,'\nA widow who fancied a man some\nWas diddled three times in a hansome.\n\tWhen she clamored for more\n\tHer young man became sore\nAnd exclaimed \"My name\'s Simpson not Samson.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15842,41,'\nA widow whose singular vice\nWas to keep her late husband on ice\n\tSaid, \"It\'s been hard since I lost him --\n\tI\'ll never defrost him!\nCold comfort, but cheap at the price.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15843,41,'\nA wonderful bird is the pelican.\nHis mouth can hold more than his belican.\n\tHe can take in his beak\n\tEnough food for a week.\nI\'m darned if I know how the helican.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15844,41,'\nA wonderful tribe are the Sweenies,\nRenowned for the length of their peenies.\n\tThe hair on their balls\n\tSweeps the floors of their halls,\nBut they don\'t look at women, the meanies.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15845,41,'\nA wood-fetish busboy named Gable\nIs rapid, is thorough, is able;\n\tBut when everything\'s cleared,\n\tHe gives way to the weird,\nAs he lovingly busses each table.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15846,41,'\nA worn-out young husband named Lehr\nHer daily his wife\'s plaintive prayer:\n\t\"Slip on a sheath, quick,\n\tThen slip your big dick\nBetween these lips covered with hair.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15847,41,'\nA worried young man from Stamboul\nFounds lots of red spots on his tool.\n\tSaid the doctor, a cynic,\n\t\"Get out of my clinic;\nJust wipe off the lipstick, you fool!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15848,41,'\nA young bride and groom of Australia\nRemarked as they joined genitalia :\n\t\"Though the system seems odd,\n\t We are thankful that God\nDeveloped the genus Mammalia.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15849,41,'\nA young fellow discovered through Freud\nThat although of penis devoid,\n\tHe could practice coitus\n\tBy eating a foetus,\nAnd his parents were quite overjoyed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15850,41,'\nA young Juliet of St. Louis\nOn a balcony stood acting screwy.\n\tHer Romeo climbed,\n\tBut he wasn\'t well timed,\nAnd half-way up, off he went -- blooey!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15851,41,'\nA young lad named Lester McGraw\nCaught a stranger on top of his Maw.\n\tAs he watched him stick her\n\tHe said, with a snicker,\n\"You do it much faster than Paw.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15852,41,'\nA young lady sat by the sea,\nJust as proper as proper could be.\n\tA young fellow goosed her,\n\tAnd roughly seduced her,\nSo she thanked him and went home to tea.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15853,41,'\nA young lady who lived by the Usk\nSubsisted each day on a rusk;\n\tShe ate the first bite\n\tBefore it was light,\nAnd the last crumb sometime after dusk.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15854,41,'\nA young maiden from France was no prude,\nShe decided to dive in the nude,\n\tBut her buddy, behind,\n\tWent out of his mind,\nWhen he noticed where she was tatooed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15855,41,'\nA young man by a girl was desired\nTo give her the thrills she required,\n\tBut he died of old age\n\tEre his cock could assuage\nThe volcanic desire it inspired.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15856,41,'\nA young man from the banks of the Po\nFound his cock had elongated so,\n\tThat when he\'d pee\n\tIt was never he\nBut only his neighbors who\'d know.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15857,41,'\nA young man grew increasingly peaky\nIn a house where the hinges were squeaky,\n\tThe ferns curled up brown,\n\tThe ceilings flaked down,\nAnd all of the faucets were leaky.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15858,41,'\nA young man maintained that his trigger\nWas so big that there weren\'t any bigger.\n\tBut this long and thick pud\n\tWas so heavy it could\nScarcely lift up its head.  It lacked vigor.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15859,41,'\nA young man of acumen and daring,\nWho\'d amassed a great fortune in herring,\n\tWas left quite alone\n\tWhen it soon became known\nThat their use at his board was unsparing.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15860,41,'\nA young man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyll\nWhile bent over plucking a dingle\n\tHad the whole of Eisteddfod\n\tTaking turns at his pod\nWhile they sang some impossible jingle.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15861,41,'\nA young man with passions quite gingery\nTore a hole in his sister\'s best lingerie.\n\tHe slapped her behind\n\tAnd made up his mind\nTo add incest to insult and injury.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15862,41,'\nA young polo-player of Berkeley\nMade love to his sweetheart beserkly.\n\tIn the midst of each chukker\n\tHe would break off and fuck her\nHorizontally, laterally and verkeley.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15863,41,'\nA young systems programmer of Sprotic\nFound his software intensely erotic.\n\tIn jealous distress\n\tHe wiped his OS.\nIt\'s possible that he\'s a psychotic.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15864,41,'\nA young violinist from Rio\nWas seducing a woman named Cleo.\n\tAs she took down her panties\n\tShe said, \"No andantes;\nI want this allegro con brio!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15865,41,'\nA young wife in the outskirts of Reims\nPreferred frigging to going to mass.\n\tSaid her husband, \"Take Jacques,\n\tOr any young cock,\nFor I cannot live up to your ass.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15866,41,'\nA young woman got married at Chester,\nHer mother she kissed her and blessed her.\n\tSays she, \"You\'re in luck,\n\tHe\'s a stunning good fuck,\nFor I\'ve had him myself down in Leicester.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15867,41,'\nAboard the good ship Venus,\t\tThe cabin boy, the captain\'s joy,\nThe mast it was a penis,\t\tA cunning little nipper,\n\tHer figurehead\t\t\t\tThey filled his ass,\n\tA whore in bed,\t\t\t\tWith broken glass,\nGood grief you should have seen us!\tAnd circumcized the skipper.\n\nThe first mate\'s name was Higgins,\tThe captain\'s daughter Mabel,\nAnd Higgins was a biggins,\t\tThey screwed when they were able,\n\tOnce round the deck,\t\t\tThey nailed her tits,\n\tTwice up the mast,\t\t\tThose nasty shits,\nAnd the rest was used for riggins\'!\tRight to the captain\'s table.\n\nThe engineer\'s name was Carter,\t\tThe second mate\'s name was Andy,\nAnd Carter was a farter,\t\tBy God, he was a dandy,\n\tWhen the wind wouldn\'t blow,\t\tThey broke his cock,\n\tAnd the ship couldn\'t go,\t\tWith chunks of rock,\nCarter the farter would start her!\tFor conking in the brandy!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15868,41,'\nAccording to experts, the oyster\nIn its shell - a crustacean cloister -\n\tMay frequently be\n\tEither he or a she\nOr both, if it should be its choice ter.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15869,41,'\nAlas for the Countess d\'Isere,\nWhose muff wasn\'t furnished with hair.\n\tSaid the Count, \"Quelle surprise!\"\n\tWhen he parted her thighs;\n\"Magnifique!  Pourtant pas de la guerre.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15870,41,'\nAll the female apes ran from King Kong\nFor his dong was unspeakably long.\n\tBut a friendly giraffe\n\tQuaffed his yard and a half,\nAnd ecstatically burst into song.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15871,41,'\nAn aesthete from South Carolina\nHad a cock that tickled like China,\n\tBut while shooting his load\n\tIt cracked like old Spode,\nSo he\'s bought him a Steuben vagina.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15872,41,'\nAn agreeable girl named Miss Doves\nLikes to jack off the young men she loves.\n\tShe will use her bare fist\n\tIf the fellows insist\nBut she really prefers to wear gloves.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15873,41,'\nAn AI researcher named Bluth\nWrote, to find out the sexual truth,\n\tEroticon VI,\n\tWhich he taught certain tricks\nWhich I\'m sure can\'t be found in Knuth.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15874,41,'\nAn amazon giantess named Dunne\nLet a midget screw her for fun.\n\tBut the poor little runt\n\tWas engulfed in her cunt\nAnd re-born as the twin of his son.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15875,41,'\nAn ambitious lady named Harriet\nOnce dreamed she was raped in a chariot\n\tBy seventeen sailors\n\tA monk and three tailors,\nMohammed and Judas Iscariot.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15876,41,'\nAn anonymous woman we knew\nWas dozing one day in her pew;\n\tWhen the preacher yelled \"Sin!\"\n\tShe said, \"Count me in\nAs soon as the service is through.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15877,41,'\nAn architect fellow named Yoric\nCould, when feeling euphoric,\n\tDisplay for selection\n\tThree kinds of erection--\nCorinthian,ionic,and doric.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15878,41,'\nAn ardent young man named Magruder\nOnce wooed a girl nude in Bermuda.\n\tShe thought it quite lewd\n\tTo be wooed in the nude,\nBut magruder was shrewder, he screwed her.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15879,41,'\nAn Argentine gaucho named Bruno\nWho said, \"Fucking is one thing I do know.\n\tWomen are fine\n\tAnd sheep are divine\nBut llamas are numero uno.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15880,41,'\nAn ARPAnaut name of Corvette\nHad a fetish involving the net.\n\tAs he fondled his IMP\n\tHis cock went from limp\nTo as hard as concrete which has set.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15881,41,'\nAn arrogant wench from Salt Lake\nLiked to tease all the boys on the make.\n\tShe was finally the prize\n\tOf a man twice her size\nAnd all she recalls is the ache.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15882,41,'\nAn artist who lived in Australia\nOnce painted his ass like a Dahlia.\n\tThe drawing was fine,\n\tThe colour -- divine,\nThe scent -- ah, that was a failia.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15883,41,'\nAn eager young hacker named Gus\nOnce buggered a VAX Unibus.\n\tThe hardware went bad,\n\tBut not the young lad\nHe didn\'t expect all that fuss!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15884,41,'\nAn Edwardian father named Udgeon,\nWhose offspring provoked him to dudgeon,\n\tUsed on Saturday nights\n\tTo turn down the lights,\nAnd chase them around with a bludgeon.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15885,41,'\nAn envious girl named McMeanus\nWas jealous of her lover\'s big penis.\n\tIt was small consolation\n\tThat the rest of the nation\nOf women were with her in weeness.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15886,41,'\nAn exotic young lady named Suki\nOnce danced in a troupe of kabuki\n\tWhen asked for a fuck\n\tShe said, \"Solly, no luck--\nSee here: looky looky, no nuki \"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15887,41,'\nAn impish young fellow named James\nHad a passion for idiot games.\n\tHe lighted the hair\n\tOf his lady\'s affair\nAnd laughed as she pissed through the flames.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15888,41,'\nAn impotent Scot named MacDougall\nHad to husband his sperm and be frugal.\n\tHe was gathering semen\n\tTo gender a he-man,\nBy screwing his wife through a bugle.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15889,41,'\nAn incautious young woman named Venn\nWas seen with the wrong sort of men;\n\tShe vanished one day,\n\tBut the following May\nHer legs were retrieved from a fen.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15890,41,'\nAn indefatigable woman named Bavel\nHad often occasion to travel;\n\tOn the way she would sit\n\tAnd furiously knit,\nAnd on the way back she\'d unravel.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15891,41,'\nAn ingenious young man in South Bend\nMade a synthetic ass for a friend,\n\tBut the friend shortly found\n\tIts construction unsound,\nIt was simply a bother -- no end.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15892,41,'\nAn innocent maiden named Herridge\nWas cruelly tricked ito marriage;\n\tWhen she later found out\n\tWhat her spouse was about,\nShe threw herself under a carriage.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15893,41,'\nAn inquisitive virgin named Dora\nAsked the man who started to bore \'er :\n\t\"Do you mean birds and bees\n\tGo through antics like these,\nTo suppy us our fauna and flora?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15894,41,'\nAn irate young lady named Booker\nTold her husband, \"You beast, I\'m no hooker!\n\tIf you want it queer ways,\n\tGo to whores for your lays!\"\nSo he packed up his tool and forsook \'er.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15895,41,'\nAn octagenerian Jew\nTo his wife remained steadfastly true.\n\tThis was not from compunction,\n\tBut due to dysfunction\nOf his spermatic glands -- nuts to you.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15896,41,'\nAn old couple just at Shrovetide\nWere having a piece -- when he died.\n\tThe wife for a week\n\tSat tight on his peak,\nAnd bounced up and down as she cried.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15897,41,'\nAn old electronic designer\nHad designs on a minor named Dinah.\n\tHe couldn\'t carry them out\n\tFor his prick was too stout,\nAnd too small was the minor\'s vagina.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15898,41,'\nAn old gentleman\'s crotchets and quibblings\nWere a terrible trial to his siblings,\n\tBut he was not removed\n\tTill one day it was proved\nThat the bell-ropes were damp with his dribblings.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15899,41,'\nAn old maid who had a pet ape\nLived in fear of perpetual rape.\n\tHis red, hairy phallus\n\tSo filled her with malice\nThat she sealed up her snatch with Scotch tape.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15900,41,'\nAn old man at the Folies Bergere\nHad a jock, a most wondrous affair:\n\tIt snipped off a twat-curl\n\tFrom each new chorus girl,\nAnd he had a wig made of the hair.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15901,41,'\nAn organist playing in York\nHad a prick that could hold a small fork,\n\tAnd between obbligatos\n\tHe\'d munch at tomatoes,\nTo keep up his strength while at work.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15902,41,'\nAn orgasmic young sex star named Sue\nWas a hit as she writhed to a screw.\n\tHer climatic fame spread\n\tWith an ad blitz that said:\nComing soon at a theater near you!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15903,41,'\nAn uptight young lady named Breerley\nWho valued her morals too dearly\n\tHad sex, so I hear,\n\tOnly once every year,\nAnd she strained her vagina severely.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15904,41,'\nAnd earnest young woman in Thrace\nSaid, \"Darling, that\'s not the right place!\"\n\tSo he gave her a thwack,\n\tAnd did on her back,\nWhat he couldn\'t have done face to face.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15905,41,'\nAnd then there\'s the story that\'s fraught\nWith disaster -- of balls that got caught,\n\tWhen a chap took a crap\n\tIn the woods, and a trap\nUnderneath... Oh, I can\'t bear the thought!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15906,41,'\nAs for weirdness, the guy who\'s the tops\nIs a kinky old butcher named Pops.\n\tSince he thinks it\'s effete\n\tTo be beating his meat,\nWhat he\'s into is licking his chops.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15907,41,'\nAs he came in his chubby choirboy,\nFather Burke said, \"There\'s no greater joy!\n\tIf no sodomy levens\n\tAnd possible heavens,\nExistence will merely annoy.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15908,41,'\nAs the breeches-buoy swing towards the rocks,\nIts occupant cried, \"Save my socks!\n\tI could not bear the loss,\n\tFor with scarlet silk floss\nMy mama has embroidered their clocks.\"\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15909,41,'\nAs tourists inspected the apse\nAn ominous series of raps\n\tCame from under the altar,\n\tWhich caused some to falter\nAnd others to shriek and collapse.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15910,41,'\nAsked a supplicant priest of the pontiff,\n\"Do I sin if I do what I want, if\n\tI screw a young nun\n\tIn the eastertide sun?\"\nHis holiness murmured, \"Gut yontiff.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15911,41,'\nAt a contest for farting in Butte\nOne lady\'s exertion was cute :\n\tIt won the diploma\n\tFor fetid aroma,\nAnd three judges were felled by the brute.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15912,41,'\nAt a dance, a girl from Connecticut\nShowed an absolute absence of etiquette\n\tLetting all comers press\n\tThrough the skirt of her dress\nAnd wiping the mess with her petticoat.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15913,41,'\nAt the end of all civilization\nIs the planet Terminus\'s location.\n\tThere\'s a girl there whose feat,\n\tWithout stone or concrete,\nNonetheless, was to lay the Foundation.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15914,41,'\nAt the moment Japan declared war\nA sailor was fucking a whore.\n\tHe said, \"After this poke\n\t`Long and hard\' ain\'t no joke;\nThis means months \'til I get back ashore.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15915,41,'\nAt the Villa Nemetia the sleepers\nAre disturbed by a phantom in weepers;\n\tIt beats all night long\n\tA dirge on a gong\nAs it staggers about in the creepers.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15916,41,'\nAt Vassar, sex isn\'t injurious,\nThough of love we are never penurious.\n\tThanks to vulcanized aids,\n\tThough we may die old maids,\nAt least we shall never die curious.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15917,41,'\nAt whist drives and strawberry teas\nFan would giggle and show off her knees;\n\tBut when she was alone\n\tShe\'d drink eau de cologne,\nAnd weep from a sense of unease.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15918,41,'\nAugustus, for splashing his soup,\nWas put for the night on the stoop;\n\tIn the morning he\'d not\n\tRepented a jot,\nAnd next day he was dead of the croup.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15919,41,'\nBack in the days of old Adam\nThe grass served as mattress for madam,\n\tAnd they spent the whole day\n\tOn the sex that today\nThey would bounce on box springs, if they had \'em.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15920,41,'\nConflicting research paradigms\nHave legitimized various crimes.\n\tThe worst we can see\n\tIs in psychology,\nMeasuring reaction times.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15921,41,'\nDame Catherine of Ashton-on-Lynches\nGot on with her grooms and her wenches:\n\tShe went down on the gents,\n\tAnd pronged the girl\'s vents\nWith a clitoris reaching six inches.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15922,41,'\nDe Hispanice puella verumque\nSimplex oris verborumque\n\tTulit potens vagina\n\tHominum agmina\nIterum iterum iterumque.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15923,41,'\nDespising machines to a man,\nThe Luddites joined up with the Klan,\n\tAnd ride out by night\n\tIn a sheeting of white\nTo lynch all the robots they can.\n\t\t-- C. M. and G. A. Maxson\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15924,41,'\nDid you hear about young Henry Lockett?\nHe was blown down the street by a rocket.\n\tThe force of the blast\n\tBlew his balls up his ass,\nAnd his pecker was found in his pocket.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15925,41,'\nDon\'t dip your wick in a WAC,\nDon\'t ride the breast of a WAVE,\n\tJust sit in the sand\n\tAnd do it by hand,\nAnd buy bonds with the money you save.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15926,41,'\nDown by the old model T,\nWhere she first showed it to me.\n\tIt was furry and black,\n\tAnd she called it a crack,\nBut it looked like a manhole to me.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15927,41,'\nDuPont, I.G., Monsanto, and Shell\nBuilt a world-circling pussy cartel,\n\tAnd by planned obsolescence,\n\tSo controlled detumescence,\nA poor man could not get a smell.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15928,41,'\nEach Friday his engines abort,\nBut Scotty is never caught short.\n\tHe fills his machines\n\tWith space-navy beans,\nAnd farts the ship back into port.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15929,41,'\nEach night Father fills me with dread\nWhen he sits on the foot ofmy bed;\n\tI\'d not mind that he speaks\n\tIn gibbers and squeaks,\nBut for the seventeen years he\'s been dead.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15930,41,'\nEs giebt ein Arbeiter von Tinz,\nEr schlaft mit ein Madel von Linz.\n\tSie sagt, \"Halt sein\' plummen,\n\tIch hore Mann kommen.\"\n\"Jacht, jacht,\" sagt der Plummer, \"Ich binz.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15931,41,'\nEthnologists up with the Sioux\nWired home for two punts, one canoe.\n\tThe answer next day,\n\tSaid, \"Girls on the way,\nBut what the hell\'s a `panoe\'?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15932,41,'\nExuberant Sue from Anjou\nFound that fucking affected her hue.\n\tShe presented to sight\n\tNipples pink, bottom white;\nBut her asshole was purple and blue.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15933,41,'\nFlappity, floppity, flip\nThe mouse on the Mobius strip;\n\tThe strip revolved,\n\tThe mouse dissolved\nIn a chronodimensional skip.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15934,41,'\nFloating idly one day through the air,\nA circus performer named Blair,\n\tTied a sizeable rock,\n\tTo the end of his cock,\nAnd shattered a balcony chair.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15935,41,'\nFond of equestrians, Mabel\nLooked for true love in the stable.\n\tBut she found the studs,\n\tFor her were all duds,\nNow she\'s out with the leg of a table.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15936,41,'\nFor a house-to-house salesman named Moore,\nGetting housewives\' attention\'s no chore:\n\tHe\'s endowed with a dong\n\tThat is 12 inches long,\nSo he wedges his foot in the door.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15937,41,'\nFor the sores on his prick he used Dial.\nThat failed; he gave Lava a trial.\n\tBut the one remedy\n\tFor contagious V.D.\nIs the wonder drug sulfa-denial.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15938,41,'\n\"For the tenth time, dull Daphnis,\" said Chloe,\n\"You have told me my bosom is snowy;\n\tYou have made much fine verse on\n\tEach part of my person,\nNow do something -- there\'s a good boy!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15939,41,'\nFrom deep in the crypt at St. Giles\nCame a bellow that echoed for miles.\n\tSaid the rector, \"My gracious,\n\tHas Father Ignatius\nForgotten the Bishop has piles!?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15940,41,'\nFrom Number Nine, Penwiper Mews,\nThere is really abominable news;\n\tThey\'ve discovered a head\n\tIn the box for the bread,\nBut nobody seems to know whose.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15941,41,'\nFrom the bathing machine came a din\nAs of jollification within;\n\tIt was heard far and wide,\n\tAnd the incoming tide\nHad a definite flavour of gin.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15942,41,'\n\"Fucked by the finger of Fate!\"\nBewailed a young fellow named Tate.\n\t\"Since dating Miss Baugh,\n\tMy whole tongue has been raw--\nIt must have been something I ate.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15943,41,'\nFucking is a filthy deed. -- I like it.\nIt satisfies a normal need. -- I like it.\n\tIt makes you sick, it makes you well,\n\tIt turns your spine to fucking jell,\nIt damns your soul to Eternal Hell! -- I like it.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15944,41,'\nGetting Cheryl to shed her apparel\nIs like shooting goldfish in a barrel.\n\tBut her genital area\n\tIs so vast it\'ll scareya,\nAnd you venture inside at your peril.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15945,41,'\nGod\'s plan made a hopeful beginning\nBut man spoiled his chances by sinning.\n\tWe trust that the story\n\tWill end in God\'s glory\nBut at present, the other side\'s winning.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15946,41,'\nHave you heard about Magda Lupescu,\nWho came to Rumania\'s rescue?\n\tIt\'s a wonderful thing\n\tTo be under a king--\nIs democracy better, I esk you?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15947,41,'\nHave you heard of knock-kneed Samuel McGuzzum\nWho married Samantha, his bow-legged cousin?\n\tSome people say,\n\tLove finds a way,\nBut for Sam and Samantha it doesn\'.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15948,41,'\nHave you heard of the lady named Cox\nWho had a capacious old box?\n\tWhen her lover was in place\n\tShe said, \"Please turn your face.\nI look like a gal, but I screw like a fox.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15949,41,'\nHave you heard of those trollops of Birmingham\nAnd the scandal that\'s currently concerning\'em?\n\tHow they lift the frock\n\tAnd tickle the cock\nOf the bishop while he was confirming \'em?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15950,41,'\nHaving made a remark rather coarse,\nA young lady was seized with remorse;\n\tShe fled from the room,\n\tAnd later, a groom\nSaw her rolling about in the gorse.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15951,41,'\nHe dove down overweighted with lead.\nPassed one hundred and flat lost his head.\n\tHe flapped and he flailed,\n\tSpit his hose and he wailed,\nSwallowed water and found himself dead.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15952,41,'\nHe hated to mend, so young Ned\nCalled in a cute neighbor instead.\n\tHer husband said, \"Vi,\n\tWhen you stitched up his torn fly,\nDid you have to bite off the thread?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15953,41,'\nHe played smooch and stinkfinger with Daisy\nTill this virgin was gotch-eyed and hazy.\n\tThen his gargantuan pole in\n\tHer pink, tight, and swollen\nYoung cunt just about drove her crazy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15954,41,'\nHe\'d kiss and the girls called him Georgie\nThey\'d cry and the girls called him Porgie.\n\tSo he put Spanish fly\n\tIn their pudding and pie\nAnd had the first tiny-tot orgy.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15955,41,'\n\"Hell, no,\" said the Duchess of Quick,\n\"I won\'t suck his filthy old prick!\n\tIt\'s not that I funk\n\tAt a mouthful of spunk,\nBut the smell of his ass makes me sick!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15956,41,'\nHer brother, a bastard named Ben,\nCould rotate his pecker, and then\n\tHe would shoot through his rear\n\tWhich made him dear\nOf the girls, and the envy of men.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15957,41,'\nHer daughter, thought worried Ms. Coffin,\nHad morals the city might soften.\n\tSo she phoned and asked, \"Lynn,\n\tAre you living in sin?\"\nLynn said, \"No -- but I visit there often.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15958,41,'\nHis shy bride admitted to Crandall\nThat for years she\'d worked off with a candle,\n\tBut a cock like his dick\n\tGave her ten times the kick,\nThough it stained her wee peehole to handle!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15959,41,'\nI dined with Lord Hughing Fitz-Bluing\nWho said, \"Do you squirm when you\'re screwing?\"\n\tI replied, \"Simple shagging\n\tWithout any wagging\nIs only for screwing canoeing.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15960,41,'\n\"I do love a lay every day,\nSo whenever you\'re coming this way\n\tJust phone in advance\n\tAnd I\'ll jerk off my pants,\nAnd we\'re set for a sexy soiree!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15961,41,'\nI know of a fortunate Hindu\nWho is sought in the towns that he\'s been to\n\tBy the ladies he knows,\n\tWho are thrilled to the toes\nBy the tricks that he makes his foreskin do.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15962,41,'\nI met a young man in Chungking\nWho had a very long thing --\n\tBut you\'ll guess my surprise\n\tWhen I found that its size\nJust measured a third-finger ring!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15963,41,'\nI never had Miss Defauw,\nBut it wouldn\'t have been quite so raw\n\tIf she\'d only said \"No\"\n\tWhen I wanted her so;\nBut she didn\'t -- she laughed and said \"Naw!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15964,41,'\nI once had the wife of a Dean\nSeven times while the Dean was out skiin\'.\n\tShe remarked with some gaiety,\n\t\"Not bad for the laiety,\nThough the Bishop once managed thirteen.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15965,41,'\nI once met a lassie named Ruth\nIn a long distance telephone booth.\n\tNow I know the perfection\n\tOf an ideal connection\nEven if somewhat uncouth.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15966,41,'\nI once was annoyed by a queer\nWho made his intentions quite clear.\n\tSaid I, \"I\'m no prude,\n\tSo don\'t think me rude,\nBut I\'m already stewed, screwed, and tattooed.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15967,41,'\nI wish that my room had a floor;\nI don\'t so much care for a door,\n\tBut this walking around\n\tWithout touching the ground\nIs getting to be quite a bore!\n\t\t-- Gelett Burgess\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15968,41,'\nI wonder what my wife will want tonight;\nWonder if the wife will fuss and fight?\n\tI wonder can she tell\n\tThat I\'ve been raising hell;\nWonder if she\'ll know that I\'ve been tight?\n\nMy wife is just as nice as can be,\nI hope she doesn\'t feel too nice toward me.\n\tFor an afternoon of joy,\n\tIs hell on the old boy,\nI wonder what the wife will want tonight!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15969,41,'\nI wooed a stewed nude in Bermuda,\nI was lewd, but my God! she was lewder.\n\tShe said it was crude\n\tTo be wooed in the nude--\nI persued her, subdued her, and screwed her!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15970,41,'\nI would like to say, Mister Bunce,\nI\'m a great connoisseur of hot cunts.\n\tAnd in all my lewd life\n\tI\'ve met none like your wife,\nSo why leave her to me, you big dunce?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15971,41,'\nI\'d rather have fingers than toes,\nI\'d rather have ears than a nose,\n\tAnd a happy erection\n\tBrought just to perfection\nMakes me terribly sad when it goes.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15972,41,'\nIf continence causes neurosis\nAnd intercourse causes thrombosis\n\tI\'d rather expire\n\tFulfilling desire\nThan live in a state of psychosis.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15973,41,'\nIf you find for your verse there\'s no call,\nAnd you can\'t afford paper at all,\n\tFor the true poet born,\n\tHowever forlorn,\nThere is always the lavat\'ry wall.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15974,41,'\nIf you\'re speaking of actions immoral\nThe how about giving the laurel\n\tTo doughty Queen Esther,\n\tNo three men could best her --\nOne fore, and one aft, and one oral.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15975,41,'\nIf your thesis is utterly vacuous,\nEmploy first-order predicate calculus.\n\tWith sufficient formality,\n\tThe sheerest banality,\nWill be hailed by all as miraculous!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15976,41,'\nIl y a une jeune fille amoureuse\nD\'un homme qu\'a une conduite honteuse;\n\tIl la mene chaque soir\n\tA son caveau noir\nEt la bat avec plaintes crapuleuses.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15977,41,'\nIl y avait un jeune homme de dijon,\nQui n\'avait que peu de religion.\n\tIl dit:\"quant a\' moi,\n\tJe deteste tous les trois,\nLe pere, et le fils, et le pigeon-\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15978,41,'\nIl y avait un plombier, Francois,\nQui plombait sa femme dans le Bois.\n\tDit-elle, \"Arretez!\n\tJ\'entends quelqu\'un venait.\"\nDit le plombier, en plombant, \"C\'est moi.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15979,41,'\nIl y avait une madame de Lahore\nDont la figure n\'etait la meilleure,\n\tMais la vagine tres forte,\n\tToujours ouverte la porte,\nEncore, et encore, et encore.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15980,41,'\nIn bed Dr. Oscar McPugh\nSpoke of Spengler -- and ate crackers too.\n\tHis wife said, \"Oh, stuff\n\tThat philosophy guff\nUp your ass, dear, and throw me a screw!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15981,41,'\nIn Duluth there\'s a hostess, forsooth,\nWho doesn\'t know gin from vermouth,\n\tBut this lubricant lapse\n\tIsn\'t noticed, perhaps\nBecause nobody does in Duluth.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15982,41,'\nIn my sweet little Alice Blue gown\nWas the first time I ever laid down,\n\tI was both proud and shy\n\tAs he opened his fly\nAnd the moment I saw it I thought I would die.\n\nOh it hung almost down to the ground,\nAs it went in I made not a sound,\n\tThe more that he shoved it\n\tThe more that I loved it,\nAs he came on my Alice Blue gown.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15983,41,'\nIn my sweet little night gown of blue,\nOn the first night that I slept with you,\n\tI was both shy and scared\n\tAs the bed was prepared,\nAnd you played peekaboo with my ribbons of blue.\n\nAs we both watched the break of day,\nAnd in peaceful submission I lay,\n\tYou said you adored it\n\tBut dammit, you tore it,\nMy sweet little night gown of blue.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15984,41,'\nIn the case of a lady named Frost,\nWhose cunt\'s a good two feet acrost,\n\tIt\'s the best part of valor\n\tTo bugger the gal, or\nYou\'re apt to fall in and get lost.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15985,41,'\nIn the Garden of Eden sat Adam,\nMassaging the bust of his madam,\n\tHe chuckled with mirth,\n\tFor he knew that on earth,\nThere were only two boobs and he had \'em.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15986,41,'\nIn the little French town of Le\'Beau,\nLived a maiden exceedingly droll.\n\tAt a masquerade ball,\n\tClad in nothing at all,\nShe backed in as a Parker house roll.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15987,41,'\nIn the shade of the old apple tree\nWhere between her fat legs I could see\n\tA little brown spot\n\tWith the hair in a knot,\nAnd it certainly looked good to me.\n\nI asked as I tickled her tit\nIf she thought that my big thing would fit.\n\tShe said it would do\n\tSo we had a good screw\t\tIn the shade of the old apple tree\nIn the shade of the old apple tree.\tI got all that was coming to me.\n\t\t\t\t\t\tIn the soft dewy grass\nI could hear the dull buzz of the bee\t\tI had a fine piece of ass\nAs he sunk his grub hooks into me.\tFrom a maiden that was fine to see.\n\tHer ass it was fine\n\tBut you should have seen mine\nIn the shade of the old apple tree.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15988,41,'\nIt always delights me at Hank\'s\nTo walk up the old river banks.\n\tOne time in the grass\n\tI stepped on an ass,\nAnd heard a young girl murmur, \"Thanks.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15989,41,'\nIt had snowed, and the man in the drift,\nFlagged her down and asked, \"Give me a lift?\"\n\tThey sat in her Bentley,\n\tShe fondled him gently,\nAnd the lift that he\'d asked for was swift!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15990,41,'\nIt takes little strain and no art\nTo bang out an echoing fart.\n\tThe reaction is hearty\n\tWhen you fart at a party,\nBut the sensitive persons depart.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15991,41,'\nKing Louis gave a lesson in class,\nOne time while enjoying a lass.\n\tWhen she used the word \"Damn\"\n\tHe rebuked her: \"Please ma\'am,\nKeep a more civil tongue in my ass.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15992,41,'\n\"Last night,\"  said a lassie named Ruth,\n\"In a long-distance telephone booth,\n\tI enjoyed the perfection\n\tOf an ideal connection --\nI was screwed, if you must know the truth.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15993,41,'\nLes salons de la ville de Trieste\nSont vaseux, suraigus, at funestes;\n\tParmi les grandes chaises\n\tOn cause des malaises,\nDes estropiements, et des pestes.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15994,41,'\nLimericks are art forms complex,\nTheir topics run chiefly to sex.\n\tThey usually have virgins,\n\tAnd masculine urgin\'s,\nAnd other erotic effects.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15995,41,'\nLimericks are art forms complex,\nTheir topics run chiefly to sex.\n\tThey usually have virgins,\n\tAnd masculine urgin\'s,\nAnd other erotic effects.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15996,41,'\nLove letters no longer they write us,\nTo their homes they so seldom invite us.\n\tIt grieves me to say,\n\tThey have learned with dismay,\nWe can\'t cure their `vulva pruritus\'.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15997,41,'\nMarlene wanted Joy to relent,\nShe said, \"AIDS is so hard to prevent.\n\tIf you want to get laid,\n\tThen we\'ll have to tribade!\"\n(But Joy didn\'t know what she meant.)\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15998,41,'\nMcCoy\'s a seducer galore,\nAnd of virgins he has quite a score.\n\tHe tells them, \"My dear,\n\tYou\'re the Final Frontier,\nWhere man never has gone before.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (15999,41,'\nMeet Elmer, young son of the Thorpes,\nAfflicted with psychotic warps.\n\tHis idea of fun\n\tIs to bugger a nun,\nAnd then vomit all over the corpse.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16000,41,'\nMrs. Kelly is partial to cocks;\nMr. Kelly likes rye on the rocks.\n\tWhen he\'s under the weather\n\tThey can\'t get together,\nSo others get into her box.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16001,41,'\n`My trip? It was vile.  Balaclava\nI loathed.  Etna was crawling with lava.\n\tThe ship was all white\n\tBut it creaked in the night,\nAnd the band, they did not know la java.\"\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16002,41,'\nNow hear this fair lass from Rhode Isle\nWho said with a wink and a smile,\n\t\"Sure, please stick it in,\n\tBe it thick be it thin,\nBut if rough I won\'t do as a file.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16003,41,'\nOden the bardling averred\nHis muse was the bum of a bird,\n\tAnd his Lesbian wife\n\tWould finger his fife\nWhile Fisherwood waited as third.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16004,41,'\nOf his face she thought not very much,\nBut then, at the very first touch,\n\tHer attitude shifted --\n\tHe was terribly gifted\nAt frigging and fucking and such.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16005,41,'\nOh pity the prince, Montezuma\nHe tried to make love to a puma.\n\tSeems the puma, in play,\n\tTore his testes away --\nAn example of animal huma.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16006,41,'\nOh, pity the Duchess of Kent!\nHer cunt is so dreadfully bent,\n\tThe poor wench doth stammer,\n\t\"I need a sledgehammer\nTo pound a man into my vent.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16007,41,'\nOn a cannibal isle near Malaysia\nLives a lady they call Anastasia.\n\tNot russian elite-\n\tShe\'s eager to eat\nWhatever or whoever lays her.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16008,41,'\nOn a ship wrecked far out at sea,\nThe girl said, \"I can\'t seem to pee.\"\n\t\"Aha!\" said the mate,\n\t\"That settles the fate\nOf the captain, the pilot, and me.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16009,41,'\nOn day a Monterey daughter\nDid scuba down under the water.\n\tShe later turned up\n\tThe mom of a pup,\nAnd they say t\'was a otter that gotter.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16010,41,'\nOn the breast of a lady named Gail,\nWas tattooed the price of her tail.\n\tAnd on her behind,\n\tFor the sake of the blind,\nWas the same information -- in Braille.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16011,41,'\nOn the porch of a dude named Horatio,\nHis girl got a yen for fellatio.\n\tAs she sucked on his dingus\n\tHe tried cunnilingus\nBut the cops ran \'em off of that patio.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16012,41,'\nOnce a young gay from Khartoum,\nTook a lesbian up to his room.\n\tThey argued all night\n\tOver who had the right\nTo do what, and with which, and to whom.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16013,41,'\nOnce was a hooker named Gail,\nBusted and sent-off to jail,\n\tShe liked the jailer,\n\tHe wanted to nail her,\nSo Gail made bail with her tail.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16014,41,'\nOne evening a guru had coitus\nWith an actress, a whore and a poetess.\n\tWhen asked what position\n\tHe used for coition,\nHe answered serenely, \"the lotus.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16015,41,'\nOne night a girl had an affair\nWith a fellow all covered with hair.\n\tThen she picked up his hat\n\tAnd realized that\nShe\'d been had by Smokey the Bear.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16016,41,'\nOur staff proctologist, Dr. Barr,\nHas invented a new kind of car.\n\tWith a tank full of shit\n\tThere\'s no stopping it --\nFor short trips, two poots take you far.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16017,41,'\nPerplexed, a shy virgin named Plummer\nAsked, \"what\'s there to do in the summer?\"\n\tShe declined and declined\n\tTill approached from behind...\nWhen her summer turned out quite a bummer!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16018,41,'\nPlaying poker with busty Ms. Ware,\nHe announced as he folded with flair,\n\t\"I had four of a kind,\n\tBut those aces combined,\nDon\'t stack up, I\'m afraid, with your pair.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16019,41,'\nPoor Alice who lived in Corvallis\nHad heard of, but not seen, the male phallus.\n\tAt her first sight of one\n\tShe started to run,\nAnd last was seen sprinting through Dallas.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16020,41,'\nPour guerir un acces de fievre\nUn jeune homme poursuivit un lievre;\n\tIl le prit a son trou,\n\tEt fit faire un ragout\nDes entrailles et des pattes au genievre.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16021,41,'\nPrince Absalom lay with his sister\nAnd bundled and nibbled and kissed her,\n\tBut the kid was so tight,\n\tAnd it was deep night --\nThough he shot at the target, he missed her.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16022,41,'\nPrince Hamlet thought Uncle a traitor\nFor having it off with his Mater;\n\tRevenge Dad or not?\n\tThat\'s the gist of the plot,\nAnd he did -- nine soliloquies later.\n\t\t-- Stanley J. Sharpless\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16023,41,'\nPrope mare erat tubulator\nQui virginem ingrediebatur.\n\tDessine ingressus\n\tAudivi progressus:\nEst mihi inquit tubulator.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16024,41,'\nSaid a dainty young whore named Ms. Meggs,\n\"The men like to spread my two legs,\n\tThen slip in between,\n\tIf you know what I mean,\nAnd leave me the white of their eggs.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16025,41,'\nSaid a decadent wench of Bombay :\n\"This has been a most wonderful day.\n\tThree cherry tarts,\n\tAt least twenty farts,\nTwo shits, and a bloody fine lay.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16026,41,'\nSaid a girl who upon her divan\nWas attacked by a virile young man:\n\t\"Such excess of passion\n\tIs quite out of fashion\"\nAnd she fractured his wrist with her fan.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16027,41,'\nSaid a happy young man of Fort Drum :\n\"What care I for this shortage of gum?\n\tMy favorite chew\n\tIs a condom or two,\nWith a goodly amount of fresh come.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16028,41,'\nSaid a horny young girl from Milpitas,\n\"My favorite sport is coitus.\"\n\tBut a fullback from State\n\tMade her period late,\nAnd now she has athlete\'s fetus\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16029,41,'\nSaid a lecherous fellow named Shea,\nWhen his prick wouldn\'t rise for a lay,\n\t\"You must seize it, and squeeze it,\n\tAnd tease it, and please it,\nFor Rome wasn\'t built in a day.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16030,41,'\nSaid a lesbian lady, \"It\'s sad;\nOf all the girls that I\'ve had,\n\tNone gave me the thrill\n\tOf real rapture until\nI learned how to be a tribade.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16031,41,'\nSaid a madam named Mamie La Farge\nTo a sailor just off of a barge,\n\t\"We have one girl that\'s dead,\n\tWith a hole in her head--\nOf course there\'s a slight extra charge.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16032,41,'\nSaid a modest young miss to de Sade,\nI\'m simply too shy and afraid\n\tTo take part in your pranks.\n\tBut to show you my thanks,\nI\'d just love to become your first aide.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16033,41,'\nSaid a pornographistic young poet\n\"Although I perhaps do not show it,\n\tMy interest in sin\n\tIs wearing quite thin,\nAnd I\'ll soon tell those fuckers to stow it.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16034,41,'\nSaid a swinging young chick named Lyth\nWhose virtue was largely a myth,\n     \t\"Try as hard as I can,\n\t I can\'t find a man\nThat it\'s fun to be virtuous with!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16035,41,'\nSaid crew girl Angelica Bauer :\n\"The captain\'s withdrawn, cold, and sour.\"\n\tUhura said, \"No,\n\tAt night that\'s not so--\nHe doesn\'t withdraw for an hour.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16036,41,'\nSaid Einstein, \"I have an equation\nWhich to some may seem rabelaisian:\n\tLet _\bV be virginity\n\tApproaching infinity;\nLet _\bP be a constant persuasion;\n\n\"Let _\bV over _\bP be inverted\nWith the square root of _\bM_\bu inserted\n\t_\bN times into _\bV ...\n\tThe result, Q.E.D.,\nIs a relative!\"  Einstein asserted.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16037,41,'\nSaid Francesca, \"My lack of volition\nIs leading me straight to perdition;\n\tBut I haven\'t the strength\n\tTo go to the length\nOf making an act of contrition.\"\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16038,41,'\nSaid President Jobcock one day :\n\"War\'s better than love, I should say.\n\tInstead of a virgin,\n\tIt\'s murder I\'m urgin\'--\nYou get lots more blood that-a-way.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16039,41,'\nSaid sneering Mohammed el-Din :\n\"Only infidel dogs put it in.\n\tBack home in Arabia\n\tWe nibble the labia\nTill the juice dribbles off of our chin.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16040,41,'\nSaid the cunt-lapping Bey of Algiers,\nIn a cunt halfway up to his ears :\n\t\"This nautch is delicious,\n\t And without doubt nutritious.\nShe\'s my best-tasting wife in ten years!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16041,41,'\nSaid the Duchess of Danzer at tea,\n\"Young man, do you fart when you pee?\"\n\tI replied with some wit,\n\t\"Do you belch when you shit?\"\nI think that was one up for me.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16042,41,'\nSaid the nun as the bishop withdrew,\n\"This must be our final adieu,\n\tFor the vicar is slicker,\n\tAnd thicker, and quicker,\nAnd two inches longer than you.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16043,41,'\nSaint Peteer was once heard to boast\nThat he\'d had all the heavenly host :\n\tThe Father and Son,\n\tAnd then - just for fun -\nThe hole in the Holy Ghost.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16044,41,'\nSays an airlining wanton named Vi:\n\"I\'m a pantyless stew when I fly.\n\tTo a muffer\'s delight,\n\tI\'ll take head on a flight,\nSo the guy can have pie in the sky.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16045,41,'\nShe begged and she pleaded for more.\nI said, \"We\'ve already had four,\n\tAnd I\'m sure that you\'ve heard,\n\tThough it\'s somewhat absurd,\nThat eros spelt backwards is sore.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16046,41,'\nShe made a thing of soft leather,\nAnd topped off the end with a feather.\n\tWhen she poked it inside her\n\tShe took off like a glider,\nAnd gave up her lover forever.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16047,41,'\nShe stood there and peeled off her clothes,\nAnd begged for a bang : goodness knows\n\tI am surely impure\n\tAnd I sizzled to scrure,\nBut the push had gone out of my hose.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16048,41,'\nShe was coming round the mountain doin\' ninety,\nWhen the chain on her motorcycle broke,\n\tNow she\'s lying in the grass,\n\tWith the muffler up her ass,\nAnd her tits a-playin\' Dixie on the spokes.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16049,41,'\nShe was peeved, and called her beau \"Mr.\"\nNot because, when she came in, he kr.,\n\tBut she knew, just before\n\tShe opened the door,\nThis same Mr. had kr. sr.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16050,41,'\nShe wasn\'t what one could call pretty\nAnd other girls offered her pity,\n\tSo nobody guessed\n\tThat her Wasserman test\nInvolved half the men in the city.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16051,41,'\nShouted Frosty the Snowman \"Hooray!\nI\'m agog with excitement today!\n\tAnd the reason of course,\n\tA reliable source,\nSaid the snow blower\'s heading this way!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16052,41,'\nSighed a neat little package named Annie :\n\"I\'ve the tits and the twat and the fanny,\n\tPlus the yen, but the men\n\tOnly call now and then--\nCan it be I\'ve B.O. in my cranny?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16053,41,'\n\"Snyder\'s got a stiff ticket,\" said Kay,\n\"Come on, take it out, and let\'s play.\"\n\tHe pulled it on out,\n\tBut she started to pout,\nHis ticket was only a quarter-inch stout.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16054,41,'\nSo here was this fellow of Strensall\nWhose pecker was shaped like a pencil,\n\tAnemic, \'tis true,\n\tBut an interesting screw,\nInasmuch as the tip was prehensile.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16055,41,'\nSo it\'s ai yi yi yi,\nYour mother scores more than Wayne Gretzky!\nSo sing me another verse that worse than the other verse,\nAnd waltz me around by my willie!\n\n\tThere once was a man from Nantucket!\n\tWhose cock was so long he could suck it!\n\t\tHe said with a grin,\n\t\tAs he wiped off his chin,\n\tIf my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!\n\nSo it\'s ai yi yi yi,\nYour sister does squat thrusts on flag poles!\nSo sing me another verse that worse than the other verse,\nAnd waltz me around by my willie!\n\n\tThere once was a young man from Boston!\n\tWho drove around town in an Austin!\n\t\tThere was room for his ass,\n\t\tAnd a gallon of gas,\n\tSo he hung out his balls and he lost \'em!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16056,41,'\nSo it\'s ai yi yi yi,\nYour sister swims out to meet troop ships!\nSo sing me another verse that worse than the other verse,\nAnd waltz me around by my willie!\n\n\tThere once was a man from Racine!\n\tWho invented a screwing machine!\n\t\tBoth concave and convex,\n\t\tIt could please either sex,\n\tBut, oh, what a bastard to clean!\n\nSo it\'s ai yi yi yi,\nYour girlfriend douches with Drano!\nSo sing me another verse that worse than the other verse,\nAnd waltz me around by my willie!\n\n\tOne night a girl had an affair!\n\tWith a fellow all covered with hair!\n\t\tHis enormous red whang,\n\t\tGave her a wonderful bang --\n\tShe\'d been diddled by Smokey the bear!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16057,41,'\nSome Harvard men, stalwart and hairy,\nDrank up several bottles of sherry;\n\tIn the Yard around three\n\tThey were shrieking with glee:\n\"Come on out, we are burning a fairy!\"\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16058,41,'\nThank God for the Duchess of Gloucester,\nShe obliges all who accost her.\n\tShe welcomes the prick\n\tOf Tom, Harry or Dick,\nOr Baldwin, or even Lord Astor.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16059,41,'\nThat Harvard don down at El Djim --\nOh, wasn\'t it nasty of him,\n\tWith the whole harem randy,\n\tThe sheik himself handy,\nTo muss up a young camel\'s quim.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16060,41,'\nThat naughty old Sappho of Greece\nSaid: \"What I prefer to a piece\n\tIs to have my pudenda\n\tRubbed hard by the enda\nThe little pink nose of my niece.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16061,41,'\nThe acrobats -- Tom and Louise --\nDo an act in the nude on their knees.\n\tThey crawl down the aisle\n\tWhile screwing dog-style,\nAs the orchestra plays Kilmer\'s \"Trees.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16062,41,'\nThe babe, with a cry brief and dismal,\nFell into the water baptismal;\n\tEre they\'d gathered its plight,\n\tIt had sunk out of sight,\nFor the depth of the font was abysmal.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16063,41,'\nThe bedsprings next door jounce and creak :\nThey have kept me awake for a week.\n\tWhy do newlyweds\n\tSelect squeaky beds\nTo develop their fucking technique?\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16064,41,'\nThe bishop of Alexandretta\nLoved a girl and he couldn\'t forget her.\n\tSo he thought he\'d enshrine her\n\tAs the Holy Vagina\nIn the Church of the Sacred French Letter.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16065,41,'\nThe bustard\'s a remarkable fowl\nWith surely no reason to growl\n\tHe escapes what would be\n\tIllegitimacy\nBy the grace of a fortunate vowel.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16066,41,'\nThe cruelest of creatures\' the crab\nWith claws that can pinch you or stab,\n\tAnd then when you dine\n\tOn crab and white wine\nIt gets you as well with the tab.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16067,41,'\nThe Dowager Duchess of Spout\nCollapsed at the height of a rout;\n\tShe found strength to say\n\tAs they bore her away:\n\"I should never have taken the trout.\"\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16068,41,'\nThe Enterprise crew when off work\nWill fuck like an Ottoman Turk.\n\tUhura the Zulu\n\tIs shcked up with Sulu,\nAnd Spock shares a crew girl with Kirk.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16069,41,'\nThe Enterprise girls, so one hears,\nHave chased Spock for several years.\n\tHis look of disdain\n\tHas spared them great pain,\nFor his prick is as sharp as his ears.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16070,41,'\nThe fearless old bishop of Brest\nPut his faith in the Lord to the test.\n\tHe fucked whores in the apse\n\tWith chancres and claps,\nBut first they were sprinkled and blessed.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16071,41,'\nThe first child of a Mrs. Keats-Shelley\nCame to light with its face in its belly;\n\tHer second was born\n\tWith a hump and a horn,\nAnd her third was as shapeles as jelly.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16072,41,'\nThe genital area of Ann\nWill accommodate any size man,\n\tFrom the wee that cause titters\n\tTo the mighty twat-splitters\nThat cause screams peasants hear in Japan.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16073,41,'\nThe Gray-haired Woman\'s Complaint\n\nMy back aches, my pussy is sore;\nI simply can\'t fuck any more;\n\tI\'m covered with sweat,\n\tAnd you haven\'t come yet,\nAnd my God, it\'s a quarter to four!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16074,41,'\nThe Grecians were famed for fine art,\nAnd buildings and stonework so smart.\n\tThey distinguished with poise\n\tThe men from the boys,\nAnd used crowbars to keep them apart.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16075,41,'\nThe King named Oedipus Rex\nWho started this fuss about sex\n\tPut the world to great pains\n\tBy the spots and the stains\nWhich he made on his mother\'s pubex.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16076,41,'\nThe King plugged the Queen\'s ass with mustard\nTo make her fuck hot, but got flustered,\n\tAnd cried, \"Oh, my dear,\n\tI am coming, I fear,\nBut the mustard will make you come `plus tard\'.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16077,41,'\nThe kings of Peru were the Incas,\nWho were known far and wide as great drincas.\n\tThey worshipped the sun\n\tAnd had lots of fun,\nBut the peasants all thought they were stincas.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16078,41,'\nThe late Brigham Young was no neuter --\nNo faggot, no fairy, no fruiter.\n\tWhere ten thousand virgins\n\tSuccumbed to his urgin\'s\nThere now stands the great State of Utah.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16079,41,'\nThe latest reports from Good Hope\nState that apes there have pricks thick as rope,\n\tAnd fuck high, wide, and free,\n\tFrom the top of one tree\nTo the top of the next -- what a scope!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16080,41,'\nThe limerick is furtive and mean;\nYou must keep her in close quarantine,\n\tOr she sneaks to the slums\n\tAnd promptly becomes\nDisorderly, drunk, and obscene.\n\t\t-- Morris Bishop\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16081,41,'\nThe limerick, a verse form iniquitous,\nHas nonetheless been ubiquitous.\n\tOnce Congress in session,\n\tDeclared its suppression,\nBut people got around that by writing the last line with no rhyme or meter.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16082,41,'\nThe long-peckered Bey of Algiers\nLoved to spear chubby lads in their rears.\n\tA demon for semen,\n\tThis buffersome he-man\nShot the chute till it seeped from their ears.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16083,41,'\nThe moyel who treated young Alec\nWas cross-eyed and hydrocephalic.\n\tPresented the child\n\tHis aim was so wild\nHe rendered the poor boy biphallic.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16084,41,'\nThe new cinematic emporium\nIs not just a super-sensorium,\n\tBut a highly effectual\n\tHeterosexual\nMutual masturbatorium.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16085,41,'\nThe nipples of Sarah Sarong\nWhen excited are twelve inches long\n\tThis embarassed her lover \n\tWho was pained to discover\nShe expected no less of his dong\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16086,41,'\nThe notorious Duchess of Peels\nSaw a fisherman fishing for eels.\n\tSaid she, \"Would you mind? --\n\tShove one up my behind.\nI am anxious to know how it feels.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16087,41,'\nThe office brown-noser named Bunky\nWould claim he was nobody\'s flunky.\n\tBut when the chips were all down,\n\tHis proboscis was brown,\nAnd there hung many strands which were gunky.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16088,41,'\nThe old archeologist, Throstle,\nDiscovered a marvelous fossil.\n\tHe knew from its bend\n\tAnd the knot on the end,\n\'Twas the penis of Paul the Apostle.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16089,41,'\nThe once was a man from Bombay\nWho modeled his cunts out of clay\n\tSo hot was his prick\n\tThat he turned them to brick\nAnd rubbed all his foreskin away.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16090,41,'\nThe partition of Vavasour Scowles\nWas a sickener: they came on his bowels\n\tIn a firkin; his brain\n\tWas found clogging a drain,\nAnd his toes were inside of some towels.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16091,41,'\nThe prick of the engineer, Scott,\nFell off from Saturnian rot.\n\tHe went to the basement\n\tAnd made a replacement\nOf tungsten and plastic and snot.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16092,41,'\nThe randy old Bey of Algiers\nWho\'d confined his cock-poking to queers,\n\tTried a cunt for a change,\n\tAnd remarked : \"It felt strange ...\nJust think what I\'ve missed all these years!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16093,41,'\nThe Reverend Henry Ward Beecher\nCalled a girl a most elegant creature.\n\tSo she laid on her back\n\tAnd, exposing her crack,\nSaid, \"Fuck that, you old Sunday School Teacher!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16094,41,'\nThe Reverend Henry Ward Beecher\nCalled a hen a most elegant creature.\n\tThe hen, pleased with that,\n\tLaid an egg in his hat --\nAnd thus did the hen reward Beecher.\n\t\t-- Oliver Wendell Holmes\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16095,41,'\nThe Shah of the Empire of Persia\nLay for days in a sexual merger.\n\tWhen the nautch asked the Shah,\n\t\"Won\'t you ever withdraw?\"\nHe replied with a yawn, \"It\'s inertia.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16096,41,'\nThe sight of his guests filled Lord Cray\nAt breakfast with horrid dismay,\n\tSo he launched off the spoons\n\tThe pits from his prunes\nAt their heads as they neared the buffet.\n\t\t-- Edward Gorey\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16097,41,'\nThe skater, Barbara Ann Scott\nIs so fuckingly \"winsome\" a snot,\n\tThat when posed on her toes\n\tShe elaborately shows\nTeeth, fat ass, titties and twat.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16098,41,'\nThe spouse of a pretty young thing\nCame home from the wars in the spring.\n\tHe was lame but he came\n\tWith his dame like a flame --\nA discharge is a wondeful thing.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16099,41,'\nThe star of that X-rated hit\nPlays a nurse with a throat full of clit.\n\tThis serves as a palace\n\tFor each turgid phallus--\nSome say that the plot is pure shit.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16100,41,'\nThe Sultan was peeved with his harem,\nAnd cooked up a scheme for to scare\'em.\n\tHe caught a big mouse\n\tWhich he loosed in the house.\n(Such confusion is called harem-scarem).\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16101,41,'\n\"The testes are cooler outside,\"\nSaid the doc to the curious bride,\n\t\"For the semen must not\n\tGet too fucking hot,\nAnd the bag fans your bum on the ride.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16102,41,'\nThe wife of young Richard of Limerick\nComplained to her husband, \"My quim, Rick,\n\tStill grows in diameter\n\tEach time that you ram at her;\nHow can your poor tool stay so slim, Rick?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16103,41,'\nThe woman who lives on the moon\nIs still cherishing the balloon\n\tOf an earthling who\'d come\n\tAnd given her some,\nBut had dribbled away all too soon.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16104,41,'\nThe work of Mess Sergeant Potgieter\nIs not merely reading a meter.\n\tBy orders of Kirk\n\tA part of his work\nIs dosing the food with saltpeter.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16105,41,'\nThe world is so full of a number of things,\nI\'m sure we should all be as happy as kings.\n\tI\'ll tell you a story--\n\tIt won\'t take me long--\nOf a brother and sister whose tale is my song.\n\nThere was an old fellow and what do you think?\nHe lived on the cheese that he scraped from his dink.\n\tHe whacked it, he hacked it,\n\tHe ate it with glee-\nWas there ever a fellow so happy as he?\n\nThis charming old chap had a sister as well :\nShe was ugly and gaunt, with a horrible smell.\n\tHer cunt was so dirty\n\tIt stank like a beast,\nAnd the odor killed flies as they gathered to feast.\n\nWhat a wonderful family!  What marvellous style!\nI\'ll bet you and I aren\'t close by a mile.\n\tTheir odor and diet\n\tWon\'t soon be forgotton,\nAnd one day you and I may be equally rotten.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16106,41,'\nThere a young man from the Coast\nWho had an affair with a ghost.\n\tAt the height of orgasm\n\tSaid the pallid phantasm,\n\"I think I can feel it -- almost!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16107,41,'\nThere are some things we mustn\'t expose,\nSo we hide them away in our clothes.\n\tOh, it\'s shocking to stare\n\tAt what\'s certainly there--\nBut why this is so, heaven knows.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16108,41,'\nThere is a young faggot named Mose\nWho insists that you fuck his long nose.\n\tAnd you\'ll double the joy\n\tOf this lecherous boy\nIf you\'ll tickle his balls with your toes.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16109,41,'\nThere is a young lady named Aird,\nWhose bottom is always kept bared.\n\tWhen asked why she pouts,\n\tShe says \"The Boy Scouts,\nAll beg me to please Be Prepared!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16110,41,'\nThere once was a bishop from Birmingham\nWho deflowered young girls while confirming \'em.\n\tAs they knelt on the hassock\n\tHe lifted his cassock\nAnd slipped his episcopal worm in \'em.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16111,41,'\nThere once was a boy named Carruthers\nWho was busily fucking his mother\n\t\"I know it\'s a sin,\"\n\tHe said, shoving it in,\n\"But it\'s better than blowing my brother.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16112,41,'\nThere once was a chick named Longet,\nWho went out to Aspen to play.\n\tAlong came a Spyder,\n\tWho sat down beside her\nAnd she blew the poor bastard away.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16113,41,'\nThere once was a clergyman\'s daughter\nWho detested the pony he bought her,\n\tTill she found that its dong\n\tWas as hard and as long\nAs the prayers her father had taught her.\n\nShe married a fellow named Tony\nWho soon found her fucking the pony.\n\tSaid he, \"What\'s it got,\n\tMy dear, that I\'ve not?\"\nSighed she, \"Just a yard-long bologna.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16114,41,'\nThere once was a couple named Kelley,\nWho lived their life belly to belly.\n\tBecause in their haste\n\tThey used library paste,\nInstead of petroleum jelly.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16115,41,'\nThere once was a dentist named Stone\nWho saw all his patients alone.\n\tIn a fit of depravity\n\tHe filled the wrong cavity,\nAnd my, how his practice has grown!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16116,41,'\nThere once was a Duchess of Beever\nWho slept with her golden retriever.\n\tSaid the potted old Duke :\n\t\"Such tricks make me puke!\nWere it not for her money, I\'d leave her.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16117,41,'\nThere once was a Duchess of Bruges\nWhose cunt was incredibly huge.\n\tSaid the king to this dame\n\tAs he thunderously came:\n\"Mon Dieu!  Apres moi, le deluge!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16118,41,'\nThere once was a fairy named Avers\nWho encircled his cock with lifesavers.\n\tThough buggers all claimed\n\tThat their asses were maimed,\nSixy-niners all cheered the new flavors.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16119,41,'\nThere once was a fellow named Bob\nWho in sexual ways was a snob.\n\tOne day he was swimmin\'\n\tWith twelve naked women\nAnd deserted them all for a gob.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16120,41,'\nThere once was a fellow named Brewster\nWho said to his wife, as he goosed her,\n\t\"It used to be grand\n\tBut look at my hand\nYou\'re not wiping as clean as ya uster.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16121,41,'\nThere once was a fellow named Howard,\nWhose tool it was nuclear-powered,\n\tWhile grabbing some ass,\n\tHe reached critical mass,\nBut think of the girl he deflowered!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16122,41,'\nThere once was a fellow named Potts\nWho was prone to having the trots\n\tBut his humble abode\n\tWas without a commode\nSo his carpet was covered with spots.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16123,41,'\nThere once was a fellow named Siegel\nWho attempted to bugger a beagle,\n\tBut the mettlesome bitch\n\tTurned and said with a twitch,\n\"It\'s fun, but you know it\'s illegal.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16124,41,'\nThere once was a fellow named Sweeney\nWho spilled gin all over his weenie.\n\tNot being uncouth,\n\tHe added vermouth\nAnd slipped his amour a martini.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16125,41,'\nThere once was a fiesty young terrier\nWho liked to bite girls on the derriere.\n\tHe\'d yip and he\'d yap,\n\tThen leap up and snap;\nAnd the fairer the derriere the merrier.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16126,41,'\nThere once was a floozie named Annie\nWhose prices were cosy--but cannie:\n\tA buck for a fuck,\n\tFifty cents for a suck,\nAnd a dime for a feel of her fanny.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16127,41,'\nThere once was a freshman named Lin,\nWhose tool was as thin as a pin,\n\tA virgin named Joan\n\tFrom a bible belt home,\nSaid \"This won\'t be much of a sin.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16128,41,'\nThere once was a gangster named Brown\n-- the sneakiest bastard in town.\n\tHe was caught by G-men\n\tShooting his semen\nWhere the cops would slip and fall down.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16129,41,'\nThere once was a gaucho named Bruno,\nWho said, \"About sex, well, I do know,\n\tSheep are just fine,\n\tChickens, divine,\nBut iguanas are Numero Uno.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16130,41,'\nThere once was a gay young Parisian\nWho screwed an appendix incision,\n\tAnd the girl of his choice\n\tCould hardly rejoice\nAt the horrible lack of precision.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16131,41,'\nThere once was a girl from Cornell\nWhose teats were shaped like a bell.\n\tWhen you touched them they shrunk,\n\tExcept when she was drunk,\nAnd then they got bigger than hell.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16132,41,'\nThere once was a girl from Decatur,\nWho got laid by a big alligator.\n\tNow nobody knew\n\tThe result of that screw,\n\'Cause after he laid her, he ate her.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16133,41,'\nThere once was a girl from Madras\nWho had such a beautiful ass --\n\tIt was not round and pink\n\t(As you bastards think)\nBut had two ears, a tail, and ate grass.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16134,41,'\nThere once was a girl from Spokane,\nWent to bed with a one-legged man.\n\tShe said, \"I know you--\n\tYou\'ve really got two!\nWhy didn\'t you say so when we began?\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16135,41,'\nThere once was a girl named Irene\nWho lived on distilled kerosene\n\tBut she started absorbin\'\n\tA new hydrocarbon\nAnd since then has never benzene.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16136,41,'\nThere once was a girl named Irene\nWho lived on distilled kerosene\n\tBut she started absorbin\'\n\tA new hydrocarbon\nAnd since then has never benzene.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16137,41,'\nThere once was a girl named Louise\nWho cunt hair hung down to her knees\n\tThe crabs in her twat\n\tTied the hairs in a knot\nAnd constructed a flying trapeze\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16138,41,'\nThere once was a girl named Mcgoffin\nWho was diddled amazingly often.\n\tShe was rogered by scores\n\tWho\'d been turned down by whores,\nAnd was finally screwed in her coffin.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16139,41,'\nThere once was a girl named Priscilla\nWhose vagina was flavored vanilla.\n\tThe taste was so fine\n\tMan and beast stood in line\n(Including a stud armadilla).\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16140,41,'\nThere once was a girl so lovely,\nWho wanted to make love in the bubbly,\n\tShe strapped on her tanks,\n\tAnd started her pranks,\nBut the lobsters all thought she was ugly.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16141,41,'\nThere once was a golfer named Leer,\nWho got put in the clink for a year,\n\tFor an action obscene,\n\tOn the very first green.\nWhere the sign said \"Enter course here.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16142,41,'\nThere once was a gouty old colonel\nWho grew glum when the weather grew vernal,\n\tAnd he cried in his tiffin\n\tFor his prick wouldn\'t stiffen,\nAnd the size of the thing was infernal.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16143,41,'\nThere once was a guardsman from Buckingham\nWho said, \"As for girls, I hate fucking \'em.\n\tBut when I meet boys,\n\tGod! how I enjoys\nJust licking their peckers and sucking \'em.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16144,41,'\nThere once was a hacker named Ken\nWho inherited truckloads of Yen.\n\tSo he built him some chicks,\n\tOf silicon chips,\nAnd hasn\'t been heard from since then.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16145,41,'\nThere once was a handsome young seaman\nWho with ladies was really a demon.\n\tIn peace or in war,\n\tAt sea or on shore,\nHe could certainly dish out the semen.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16146,41,'\nThere once was a horny old bitch\nWith a motorized self-frigger which\n\tShe would use with delight\n\tAll day long and all night -\nTwenty bucks: Abercrombie & Fitch.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16147,41,'\nThere once was a horse named Lily\nWhose dingus was really a dilly.\n\tIt was vaginoid duply,\n\tAnd labial quadruply --\nIn fact, he was really a filly.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16148,41,'\nThere once was a husky young Viking\nWhose sexual prowess was striking.\n\tEvery time he got hot\n\tHe would scour the twat\nOf some girl that might be to his liking.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16149,41,'\nThere once was a jolly old bloke\nWho picked up a girl for a poke.\n\tHe took down her pants,\n\tFucked her into a trance,\nAnd then shit into her shoe for a joke.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16150,41,'\nThere once was a kiddie named Carr\nCaught a man on top of his mar.\n\tAs he saw him stick \'er,\n\tHe said with a snicker,\n\"You do it much faster than par.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16151,41,'\nThere once was a lady from Exeter,\nSo pretty that men craned their necks at her.\n\tOne was even so brave\n\tAs to take out and wave\nThe distinguishing mark of his sex at her.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16152,41,'\nThere once was a lady from Kansas\nWhose cunt was as big as Bonanzas.\n\tIt was nine inches deep\n\tAnd the sides were quite steep --\nIt had whiskers like General Carranza\'s.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16153,41,'\nThere once was a lady named Carter,\nFell in love with a virile young Tartar.\n\tShe stripped off his pants,\n\tAt his prick quickly glanced,\nAnd cried: \"For that I\'ll be a martyr!\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16154,41,'\nThere once was a lady named Clair,\nWho posessed a magnificent pair.\n\tOr that\'s what I thought,\n\tTill I saw one get caught,\nOn a thorn and begin losing air.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16155,41,'\nThere once was a lady named Myrtle\nWho had an affair with a turtle.\n\tShe had crabs, so they say,\n\tIn a year and a day\nWhich proved that that turtle was fertile.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16156,41,'\nThere once was a lawyer named Rex\nWith minuscule organs of sex.\n\tArraigned for exposure,\n\tHe maintained with composure,\n\"De minimis non curat lex.\"\n\n\t[Trans: the law does not concern itself with small things.  Ed.]\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16157,41,'\nThere once was a lifeguard named Lee\nWho rescued a girl from the sea\n\tShe asked how to pay,\n\tAnd he said \"Try this way,\nGo down for the third time on me.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16158,41,'\nThere once was a maid from Mobile\nWhose cunt was made of blue steel.\n\tShe only got thrills\n\tFrom pneumatic drills\nAnd an off-centered emery wheel.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16159,41,'\nThere once was a man from Bombay\nHe would do it all night and all day\n\tHe soon became sore\n\tYou shoulda\' heard him roar\nWhen his wife rubbed his balls with Ben-Gay!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16160,41,'\nThere once was a man from Calcutta\nWho used to beat off in the gutta\n\tThe heat of the sun\n\tAffected his gun\nAnd turned all his cream into butta!\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16161,41,'\nThere once was a man from Dunoon,\nWho always ate soup with a fork.\n\tHe said \"When I eat\n\tEither fish, foul or flesh,\nI otherwise finish too quick.\"\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16162,41,'\nThere once was a man from Exameter\nWho had a prodigious diameter\n\tBut it wasn\'t the size\n\tThat brought forth the cries\n\'Twas his rythm, iambic pentameter.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16163,41,'\nThere once was a man from Madras,\nWhose balls were made out of brass.\n\tWhen they clanged together,\n\tThey played \"Stormy Weather\",\nAnd lightning shot out of his ass.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16164,41,'\nThere once was a man from Nantee\nWho buggered an ape in a tree.\n\tThe results were most horrid\n\tAll ass and no forehead\nThree balls and a purple goatee.\n');
INSERT INTO `data` VALUES (16165,41,'\nThere once was a man from Nantucket\nWho kept all his cash in a bucket.\n\tHis daughter, named Nan,\n\tRan away with a man,\nAnd as for the bucket, Nantucket.\n\nThe pair of them went to Manhasset,\n(Nan and the man with the asset.)\n\tPa followed them there,\n\tBut they left in a tear,\nAnd as for the asset, Manhasset.\n\nPa followed the pair to Pawtucket,\n(Nan and the man with the bucket.)\n\tPa said to the man,\n\t\"You\'re welcome to Nan.\"\nBut as for the bucket, Pawtucket.\n');
