
		Safety Tips for the Post-Nuclear Existence
		  Tip #1: How to tell when you are dead.

	(1) Little things start bothering you: little things like worms,
	    bugs, ants.
	(2) Something is missing in your personal relationships.
	(3) Your dog becomes overly affectionate.
	(4) You have a hard time getting a waiter.
	(5) Exotic birds flock around you.
	(6) People ignore you at parties.
	(7) You have a hard time getting up in the morning.
	(8) You no longer get off on cocaine.
