
David Letterman's "Things we can be proud of as Americans":

	* Greatest number of citizens who have actually boarded a UFO
	* Many newspapers feature "JUMBLE"
	* Hourly motel rates
	* Vast majority of Elvis movies made here
	* Didn't just give up right away during World War II
		like some countries we could mention
	* Goatees & Van Dykes thought to be worn only by weenies
	* Our well-behaved golf professionals
	* Fabulous babes coast to coast
