
		Safety Tips for the Post-Nuclear Existence

	(1)  Never use an elevator in a building that has been hit by a nuclear
	     bomb; use the stairs.
	(2)  When you're flying through the air, remember to roll when you hit
	     the ground.
	(3)  If you're on fire, avoid gasoline and other flammable materials.
	(4)  Don't attempt communication with dead people; it will only lead to
	     psychological problems.
	(5)  Food will be scarce; you will have to scavenge.  Learn to
	     recognize foods that will be available after the bomb: mashed
	     potatoes, shredded wheat, tossed salad, ground beef, etc.
	(6)  Put your hand over your mouth when you sneeze; internal organs
	     will be scarce in the post-nuclear age.
	(7)  Try to be neat; fall only in designated piles.
	(8)  Drive carefully in "Heavy Fallout" areas; people could be
	     staggering illegally.
	(9)  Nutritionally, hundred dollar bills are equal to ones, but more
	     sanitary due to limited circulation.
	(10) Accumulate mannequins now; spare parts will be in short supply on
	     D-Day.
