
	I disapprove of the F-word, not because it's dirty, but because we
use it as a substitute for thoughtful insults, and it frequently leads to
violence.  What we ought to do, when we anger each other, say, in traffic,
is exchange phone numbers, so that later on, when we've had time to think
of witty and learned insults or look them up in the library, we could call
each other up:
     You: Hello?  Bob?
     Bob: Yes?
     You: This is Ed.  Remember?  The person whose parking space you
          took last Thursday?  Outside of Sears?
     Bob: Oh yes!  Sure!  How are you, Ed?
     You: Fine, thanks.  Listen, Bob, the reason I'm calling is:
	  "Madam, you may be drunk, but I am ugly, and ..."  No, wait.
	  I mean:  "you may be ugly, but I am Winston Churchill
	  and ..."  No, wait.  (Sound of reference book thudding onto
	  the floor.)  S-word.  Excuse me.  Look, Bob, I'm going to
	  have to get back to you.
     Bob: Fine.
		-- Dave Barry, "$#$