
Symptom:		Floor swaying.
Fault:			Excessive air turbulence, perhaps due to air-hockey
			game in progress.
Action Required:	Insert broom handle down back of jacket.

Symptom:		Everything has gone dim, strange taste of peanuts
			and pretzels or cigarette butts in mouth.
Fault:			You have fallen forward.
Action Required:	See above.

Symptom:		Opposite wall covered with acoustic tile and several
			flourescent light strips.
Fault:			You have fallen over backward.
Action Required:	If your glass is full and no one is standing on your
			drinking arm, stay put.  If not, get someone to help
			you get up, lash yourself to bar.
		-- Bar Troubleshooting
